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Should women offer to pay?

I received an email from a guy who is dating someone older than he is. He pursued her in the beginning and didn’t take issue with paying. Now that they are in an exclusive relationship, he expected her to offer to reciprocate more.

Since she supposedly makes more money then he does (he doesn’t know for sure), he wonders if not offering to pay is a sign of selfishness. He is apprehensive about bringing the topic up because he doesn’t want to come across as cheap. How should he handle it?

Do you think that women should offer to pay more often? Is it something men are expecting us to do in the early stages of dating?

When there is a difference in income, how do you navigate dating so that it is balanced and fair?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

419 comments Add your comment

David Ayegba

August 9th, 2011
7:27 am

I really don’t see the two elements of love from the above write up. Which are trust and communication. They are the component of being open to each other in a relationship. Age is no factor where there is understanding between both parties. The party that makes more should be fair in picking up extra bills and the other party should be appreciative of the other party’s contribution.

Breezy

August 9th, 2011
8:04 am

I think in a relationship both parties are supposed to give without the intention of receiving. You do things for the other because you want to and there are not expectations. I agree that communication and trust are definitely lacking in this situation.

nokiddingsherlock

August 9th, 2011
8:21 am

dump her! she obviously isn’t into you. any woman who finds you attractive and wants to be with you will think and care about you. She doesn’t. Stop being a Puss and Dump HER sorry arse. or keep her and you can be the `sorry arse`

Jeff

August 9th, 2011
8:28 am

Ahhhh, then hypocritical claim of equality. Gotta love it.

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
8:30 am

Good morning!

Do you think that women should offer to pay more often? YES

Is it something men are expecting us to do in the early stages of dating? Who knows what men expect.

Reciprocity shouldn’t kick in at a particular stage in the relationship. It’s up to both parties to propel the relationship along. The key word here is they’ve become “exclusive.” I sense she’s being somewhat selfish in thinking the man should pay for everything. Not a good look!

Miss A

August 9th, 2011
8:37 am

This question will be forever discussed and never truly receive a right or wrong answer. I have girlfriends who feel a man should always pay and state they will NEVER pay the check for dinner, outings, etc. I, on the other hand, don’t see a problem with it if we are now in a relationship and seeing each other. In the initial stages, I would like to be romanced a little, but the man should be creative and think of “frugal” ways to be a romantic. You don’t have to impress a woman by taking her to an expensive restaurant. Take her to the park, musuem, free concerts,etc.

If he has a woman that is not offering to pay, then there’s a strong chance she is selfish.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
8:39 am

“Reciprocity shouldn’t kick in at a particular stage in the relationship. It’s up to both parties to propel the relationship along”.

Good call Leggs. It is not necessarily an issue of money as much as an issue of equality in a relationship. With the “rights’ come part of the “responsibilities”.

Dave

August 9th, 2011
8:41 am

In today’s world where it’s all about equality, I’m sure men would LIKE to have a woman offer to pay, but that’s when the relationship is eclusive and on into it. By Ms. Manner’s guide, whomever does the asking out should be responsible for paying, but we all know how that’s going to work out. I did have a lady ask me out one evening and took me to a VERY nice restaurant. The bill was $140 and when it was brought to the table, she just sat there…..and sat there….and sat there. I finally picked it up and paid for it. THEN she suggested we go catch a movie. I paid for the tickets and snacks….again. Not for one second did she even approach offering to pay. Chivalry dictates that I pay, so I did. But that was an expensive evening….and we didn’t even ride together nor did I get a kiss goodnight afterwards. No more dates for you…..

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
8:44 am

The key word here is a “relationship” which by definition implies a partnership of sorts. Both should contribute after dating crosses over into a relationship. Also, this is a key turning point where a woman’s heart is somewhat defined. If she is just in it for the fun and getting money spent on her, then off she goes to the “high maintenance” heap with the others. If a woman has a heart, she will see this as what she can contribute as well as what she can receive.

Dave

August 9th, 2011
8:46 am

The very lowest of the low treat the man as an “I’m hungry and don’t have anyone to pay for my dinner” date. Learn your lesson early on with these selfish, self centered creatures. They are a boil on the a$$ of the world and create the fore-mentioned “bitterness” about women we so often discuss on this blog.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
8:46 am

@ Dave

Excellent example of the type of woman I don’t call back. If it is all about her then she should have as much “her” time as possible ;-)

Uncle Ed

August 9th, 2011
8:51 am

No one likes a beautiful woman more than I do, but thay are so much dad gum trouble to deal with and date.

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
8:56 am

Good morning,

It’s a give and take, no one person should foot the bill for the entire relationship. I make waaaaay less than the beau but I still contribute on things that fall in line with what I am able to pay. I’m the type of person that loves to give, surprise, take the initiative to treat and it does bother me that I’m not in a position to do more. He has often told me that money isn’t everything but i’m thinking, it sure does help a whole lot and give you options that a ‘financially challenged’ person doesn’t have.

Fred G. Sanford, Jr.

August 9th, 2011
9:03 am

I have NEVER met a man who was happily committed or married to a woman who was stingy, cheap, or financially selfish.

What?!?!?

August 9th, 2011
9:08 am

Why are you WISE if you never offer any advice?

CoolShadow

August 9th, 2011
9:17 am

Do you think that women should offer to pay more often? Is it something men are expecting us to do in the early stages of dating?

It would be a nice gesture but I always assume it won’t happen in the early stages (if at all). It use to amaze me how some women would claim how “independent” they are but when it comes to financial participation in the dating arena, rigor mortis in the purse sets in really fast.

When there is a difference in income, how do you navigate dating so that it is balanced and fair?

You treat the person within their means. For example, if you have two people dating and the man makes $100K+ and the woman makes $10/hr, the man can drop $100 for dinner but it seems unfair to expect the woman to drop the equivalent for him because of the disruption that $100 dinner may cause her. However, that doesn’t mean she should develop rigor mortis of the pockets either. She should contribute to the dating within her means and she may have to be more creative because of her financial limitations. Same thing if the roles are reversed.

@Dave – the scenario you described in your 8:41 post, when that happens rarely does a second date occur. That was a flat out case of experiencing higher end entertainment using sponsorship.

CoolShadow

August 9th, 2011
9:19 am

meant to write, “treat the person within your means.”

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
9:23 am

Dinner & a movie

Whoever makes more could pay for dinner….the one making less could vouch for the movie tickets..

That dude from the "A"

August 9th, 2011
9:24 am

Women should pay more..period!!
It does not matter if we are dating or in an exclusive relationship “We both benefit by doing ish together” (i.e. getting dinner, lunch, movies, etc.) therefore, why should dudes have to front the bill every time the check shows up? Let’s face it; AA women make more than AA dudes not only in the “A” but in every major and small city in America!
Women in general save more, travel more and invest more, but every time you turn around you hear ‘ladies free until midnight”, “ladies bring juice, dudes bring liquor to the party”, “ladies drink free”

If I added up how much I have spent on dating in the last 20 years, it would prolly amount to the cost of a car! Now if I added up how many women spent on me the ratio to my spending would be 70/30.

In closing, I have definitely changed my approach to dating and how much I spend initially!

Call me cheap, but at the end of the day its how much you can keep vs. how much you can spend!

IAmWoman

August 9th, 2011
9:25 am

As a woman I tend to agree with Randy:

The key word here is a “relationship” …a key turning point where a woman’s heart is somewhat defined … is just in it for the fun and getting money spent on her….she will see [the relationship] as what she can contribute as well as what she can receive.”

Fellas, it’s up to “you to observe and decide” what type of woman you want to pursue. Dont’ ignore the warning signs (that goes for women also)!

MsMarriedUp

August 9th, 2011
9:28 am

So agree CoolShadow…and probably others as well.

During the initial courting the man pays…no ifs and or buts.

During the relationship I like buying gifts and things…though I (while I won’t call it rigor mortis*LOL*Cool), I will say that I prefer to be with a man who’s really the one w/the purse strings, and don’t want that nit-picky I’m spending more than you.

I’m old school. Real old school. I am your woman. I look up to my man and expect to be taken care of. Period. …In the same way he knows I do and let him do (*mostly*) as he pleases;-)

I know I need to stop…though this is about the size of things in my spot.

IAmWoman

August 9th, 2011
9:30 am

@CoolShadow – “rigor mortis in the purse” LOL

ATL Guy

August 9th, 2011
9:31 am

Went on a First Date with a girl and we are having a great time. Bill comes and she says “do you want to split the bill?” It kind of threw me off. I said, no worries, I got this, but thanks for the offer. At that moment it felt like we were just friends. Nice Gesture, but on a first date let the guy step up or you’ll be sending mixed signals

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
9:32 am

One day the beau and I were in Publix playing debating on who was going to cook dinner. He tells me, “I make the bread…you bake the bread”. So guess who ended up cooking dinner that night? lol

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
9:36 am

@Dave ~ that woman was tacky. The nerve to call and ask a man out, pick out an expensive restaurant and then act like you’re Ray Charles when the check comes! Tack head!

MsMarriedUp

August 9th, 2011
9:40 am

It’s just kinda sad seeing women who end up being expected to spit out the dollars…then gotta make the baby, have the baby…and since the man can’t nurse the baby…ooops, she gotta do that too, and take of the child & children… and all be damn it if she ain’t running back and forth to work, and daycare…when all be damn it happens again… oh *he’s bored* gotta go; tired of the old.

Seen it happen so many times, and now we have this big gap in finding a man. I’m married and stayed married for a reason!

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
9:45 am

Dang, we’re talking about paying for a date (lol).

I hear ya, MsMarriedUp.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
9:45 am

One thing that is at play here is a “token gesture”. I will still pick up the tab nine times out of ten, maybe more, but it is refreshing when the lady genuinely offers. Again, it is a heart issue.

With my new lady, I have cooked for her several times (the chicken marsala last week was impressive). Happens I actually enjoy cooking and eat at restaurants about five nights a week as it is. The lady is comfortable chilling at my place, or going out.

It is not about what we do, but who we do it with. In every relationship, sooner or later that WILL be important.

CoolShadow

August 9th, 2011
9:46 am

@ATL Guy – in your case she may have been testing you. Had you accepted her offer, there probably wasn’t going to be a second date. I’d be flattered if a woman offered to pay or split the bill on the first date, but I’ve never NOT paid on the first date and it could be an undercover test of your stinginess from her perception.

@MsMarriedUp – I really meant that phrase for the later stages of dating. How would you handle dating if you made more money that the man?

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
9:48 am

Exactly, RandyT. It’s a move of respect and appreciation. That’s how I look at it.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
9:54 am

Dating finance is an investment like any other investment…or paying for a diagnostic on a car. Either way, it is money spent with a hope of a return.

We all have an idea of what we are looking for out of a date. If one is looking to hook up, then consider the cost of the fancy dinner and drinks as an investment for a future return. If a person is looking for someone to stay with for awhile, then more emphasis should be spent on creating an environment where you two can communicate freely. If a guy is wanting to spend some quality time by himself, then ask her to pay.

Like Wall Street, some investments pay off, some don’t. You have to hope that you beat the “Lipper” dating average ;-)

Celisea

August 9th, 2011
9:56 am

Morning,

What MsMarriedUp said at 9:40….I’m totally cosigning. The subject in Diva’s post should ask or try and understand if it’s a matter of upbrining given the fact that she’s older than him.

Really men, really…a woman NOT paying has nothing to do with trying to take take and take. I frankly don’t want to hear a man whining about money. If paying for dinner or entertaining is going to break you so much so that you’re whining or doing tally strokes or just THAT aware then you don’t need to be dating. A woman that’s REAALLY into will pay….not all the time….but because she’s into you like that. Just like women shouldn’t assume all men aren’t out just to get in her pants, men shouldn’t assume a dime spent on a women is her quest to get in your pockets.

Back to the dang grind. They got a sister on the plantation these days.

Celisea

August 9th, 2011
9:58 am

And in case you men didn’t know….we LOVE doing nice things and springing nice surprises. Really we do.

ATL Guy

August 9th, 2011
10:03 am

@ CoolShadow – I did thnk it may have been a test at first, but it really wasn’t. I paid then she invited me back to her place and we kicked it for a bit. Still, after that felt like friends. So much of dating is whether there’s genuine chemistry or sparks. On the other side, went out with another girl as a friend, went to a fun restaurant, met people at the bar and they invited us to their table. Out of nowhere we ended up holding hands under the table. Felt this real connection and it was electric. People we met asked how long we’ve been an item. We laughed and said, we’re not I don’t think! She’s my g/f of 2.5 years to this day

ATLER

August 9th, 2011
10:03 am

I think a man and woman should go in half when they first start dating. Only reason I say that is because if you two don’t get along, you both can go your own way and keep dating. I told a female friend of mine that it was expensive being a gentlemen in Atlanta. She tried to argue with me about it, but came back later and told me I was absolutely right. Real men have it bad because women expect us to be gentlemenly especially when it comes to paying. A real woman though would reconize a gentleman and make the proper adjustments.

MCH

August 9th, 2011
10:03 am

Dave you must have met that woman at Bonefish :shock:

Sassy Me ;-)

August 9th, 2011
10:05 am

When there is a difference in income, how do you navigate dating so that it is balanced and fair?

I wish I knew…in my past relationships I’ve been the one making more and this put a weird damper on dating situations. I don’t have a problem paying and make it a point to actually….my problem comes when we as a couple can’t do anything b/c the guy is almost always broke or got some baby mama drama going on. Why should I suffer because of that? Then I get called selfish when I decide to bounce…that’s not fair.

abc

August 9th, 2011
10:15 am

Sure, she can offer, but he should always pay anyway. If you’re not paying your own way, what kind of man are you? If you can’t afford to go on dates, then don’t.

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
10:18 am

Morning All!

When hubby and I were dating he picked up the tab on the first few dates. I treated on about the 4th date. It was clear we were both in it for the long haul and building a relationship. A relationship means sharing. I knew he had 2 young kids he was raising on his own and a home to maintain, even though he made more than me. Yes, if a woman really cares for a guy, she will find a way to reciprocate within her means. I hate debating about money – I think it’s tacky. I only do dutch with friends. On a date, I believe you should take care of the entire bill at whatever venue, not split it. For example, one person should pay for the entire meal or both the movie tickets, etc. It’s so tacky to be sitting there tallying things.

I have not had a guy to complain about me not ever reciprocating, because I was raised better than that. Even the few cheap guys I’ve dealt with really couldn’t complain.

One of my best friends said she never pays when on a date, period. Guess it worked for her, because she’s married. Wouldn’t be me though.

ATL Guy

August 9th, 2011
10:20 am

Lets be Honest … this market people are having some tough times. Nothing to say you have to go out to a 5-Star restaurant on a date. Go to Piedmont Park, Tubing the River, or Cook something. Make it unique and fun. I disagree with *ABC* because you should still be able to go on dates if you having a tough time financially because not everything is superficial (although society makes it that way)

abc

August 9th, 2011
10:24 am

I’m not talking about 5 star restaurants, I’m talking about paying the bills. If you’re going tubing or whatever, you still pay the bill. If you can’t afford a woman, you’re unlikely to have one — it ain’t exactly rocket science.

You could drink ice water and play a game of chess, but I doubt you’re going to find a lot of takers. Actually, a date like that would be about my speed.

cba

August 9th, 2011
10:30 am

@Kimmie, I’ve read alot of your posts over the months. The first paragraph in your 10:18, I’ll put a frame around it…..very well stated.

TenderRoni

August 9th, 2011
10:31 am

Hi All,
I’m with the earlier posts, I think there is a lack of communication in the relationship of WD”s friend. If you are in exclusive relationship there should be a level of comfort to be able to talk about money.
Also wouldn’t you want to talk about your relationship, isn’t that how you stay on the same page with a person.
Maybe their views on relationships are just different. We is understandable, we all want what we want. But it seems his expectations is different from hers, and it should be addressed now before bitterness sets in.

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
10:32 am

Thanks cba!!

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
10:33 am

I tend to agree with abc on the “if you can’t pay, don’t play”. That said, I was broke and up to my azz in debt, an apt with no furniture or even a bed for a year (slept on a couch) and support payments when I started dating my “transition lover” after my divorce. There were times she carried my sorry azz, when I was out of work. Strangely enough, it was when I started climbing back onto my feet that she kicked me out of the nest. After a year or two of soul searching, I realized that there was a part of her that was the kind that took in stray dogs and children, nursed them back to health, and sent them back to the real world. Wonderful lady and still unattached 9 years later. Broke my heart, but she still had more of a heart than 90% of the ladies I have dated.

So I guess there are ladies out there that will take you in if you are struggling…but they have to see something in you besides a deadbeat.

ATL Guy

August 9th, 2011
10:37 am

LoL! Ice water and Chess!? Options – Go running through the City or borrow a friend’s bikes and take them out or hang at the pool and grill out or the Art Museum (which is free on certain days). I’m saying you can do interesting things without being a baller. Point is to get to know the other person on a date and see if there are common interests or chemistry. Money helps, don’t get me wrong, but there’s something far more genuine with those kinds of dates

Same thing

August 9th, 2011
10:37 am

Women, if you want men to consider paying for dates to be investing in their future possibilities (ie, rack time), what are you selling? I dated forever. My test for moving forward was to simply see if my date ever even offered after a couple of months, especially if we were seeing each other 2-3 times a week. If nothing happened, I would broom her quick right after I cashed in my investment. It doesn’t have to be expensive or ostentatious, just genuine. If you are selling it, someone will buy. The market value does drop after multiple uses though. Both side need to invest something (other than a little sweating) if they are truly interested in developing a relationship.

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
10:45 am

Three Words Daily – Define *your* success.

How have you defined success for yourself and by yourself? Or do you hold to society’s measure for what is considered successful? Are you measuring your progress in life against the progress of others? Do you tally the trappings of material excess as the only evidence of you having “made it”?
{more}

abc

August 9th, 2011
10:45 am

I never considered paying for dates to be an investment in anything. It’s recreational expenditure. If you’re married, don’t you take your wife on dates? Do you consider paying for the movie and popcorn an investment in anything? That doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. As in, I paid $80 for dinner, you owe me sex sooner or later? Pretty crass, in my opinion.

Yeah, ATL Guy, I like museums, touring really old houses, going to art fairs and car shows, all that. Certainly, there are plenty of cheap and free things to do that are fun.

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
10:47 am

Run Report – Me, the man, the dog – regular morning route – 34minutes.

When I first start my runs, the back of my calves scream out in protest. I probably could do a little more stretching.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
10:49 am

At abc, for me, the investment I was referring to was is she someone I want to be in a relationship with for a long time. Sex isn’t part of the equation for me. That either happens or does not happen in its own time. My point is that if one is looking for a potential LTR or even marriage, then dating costs are a small investment in something far bigger.

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
10:51 am

As to the topic of the day – when I was interested in a relationship, I didn’t mind paying.

However, since I felt funny about letting guys that I was not interested in *sponsor* me for an evening out, I very rarely went out with guys *for entertainment purposes only.*

“For a broke chick, ain’t no place like home.”

Exiled!

August 9th, 2011
10:54 am

Good morning!

Yes,Kimmie is on point like most of u are.

But fellas,if she ain’t flinching as far as paying or contributing is concerned may be she’s giving u a subtle sign that she will pay in some other way.

So it’s not entirely a loss_ loss,tho not relationship potential or chance here.

So just Hit the bootey and run!

Have a nice day. :lol:

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
10:54 am

Randyt – Your transitional state you were in that you described in your 10:33. That’s actually what they were talking about on the radio show Wise referenced for yesterday’s topic. For you it was a temporary thing. For some, it seems they are in a perpetual state of transition, a “project” for anyone that decides to deal with them.

The woman you described sounds really nice.

ATL Guy

August 9th, 2011
10:55 am

When I’m in NYC I would much rather have a date walking around Tribeca on the streets on a date than sitting in some stuffy French Restaurant where you can’t truly relax. I’m in my 20’s, but used to meet women in Buckhead at Bars or Lounges. First question is always “what do you do?” It defines who you are in many ways. I would shy away from discussing my import trend car, my house, or the 2 beach condos in Florida. I don’t want this stuff to make the impression on a person first time where they expect everything up front. Best Dates are when they’re not forced

abc

August 9th, 2011
10:56 am

I know chicks that go on dates with pretty much just about anyone, regardless of interest, just for the entertainment value. They figure they at least have some form of social life. Pretty sad, really, for everyone involved.

I get what you’re saying Randy. I suppose my determination to pay for everything could be construed as demonstration of my ability to provide, trying to make myself more attractive, especially in a relationship’s beginning.

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
10:58 am

SCool – Your 10:51, that was me all the way. I was never hungry enough to go out with a guy I was not interested in at all just to get a free meal. Some people told me I was crazy, but I just couldn’t do it. If I had to live on peanut butter sandwiches, so be it, and I did quite happily. Plus, I had plenty family and friends around that would not let me go hungry.

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
11:08 am

And I know we’re talking about dating…but er, um…just Friday, I was wondering why most of my folks always want to do stuff that involves going out and spending money. Not that we are having money problems. I just don’t get what happened to just getting together at someone’s house and cooling out with a few drinks and conversation, maybe some cards.

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
11:10 am

SCool – Those evenings at the house are usually the most fun anyway.

ATL Guy

August 9th, 2011
11:15 am

I was talking to my g/f yesterday afternoon about how much the Stock Market is dropping under this Govt Administration who can’t seem to show any initiative or accountability. She told me that if we lost everything tomorrow that it wouldn’t matter because she’d still have me in her life. She totally meant that and I was awe-struck by such a simple yet complex comment. Very Blessed

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
11:17 am

I believe the Cold Cut Artist of the day is Whitney Houston for any of you who are playing.

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
11:19 am

Yes, you are Blessed, ATL! Never take it for granted and you’ll be just fine!

ME

August 9th, 2011
11:20 am

“Should” they offer to pay? No. Do I mind IF they do? Not at all… Personally, I would rarely accept the offer but, if they wish to make that offer, I certainly wouldn’t be offended.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
11:21 am

Glad for ya ATL guy. That’s great. It was the “…for poorer” that drove the final nail in my marriage’s coffin. Followed quickly by “really poorer”. ;-)

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
11:23 am

@ ATL Guy…read a funny post in another blog. (equally offends all parties so should be okay). It said

“Watching the Democrats and the Republicans arguing in Washington is like watching two drunks arguing over the bar bill on the Titanic”.

Really close to reality unfortunately.

ATL Guy

August 9th, 2011
11:29 am

LoL so True!

MsMarriedUp

August 9th, 2011
11:35 am

to @ Celisea “got a sister on the plantation these days” too funny…but the absolute point that speaks to the question. My apologies…typing quick here, however, just as said, it’s not about take, take, take… it about helping our men be men. I’m sorry, but men waiting on, or even expecting a woman to pay is missing the point of the whole reason for dating.
You date because you expect this to be your mate. Now if you want to carry it like a friendship, which is fine… then fine, I’ll pay. Perhaps one day we’ll be more than friends, though I would’ve have highly doubted it back when I was dating. Which answers another question asked. I have no probleme with enjoy friendship and laying out here and there for this and that, but I, myself, have never found a man attractive who was looking for me to may my half. This is the first line that in my experience *@!*’s things up later on down the road. Gotta set the pace early on, and yes it starts with the first date.

cba

August 9th, 2011
11:42 am

Yeah Randyt, Titanic indeed….I’ll have to remember that one.

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
11:42 am

@MsMarriedUp ~ I understand what you’re saying, but when you say “You date because you expect this to be your mate,” isn’t she also dating with the expectaiton of this being her mate. What’s wrong with her paying sometimes??? It doesn’t mess up the “natural order” of things, because, if that was the case, “reciprocate” wouldn’t be in the dictionary.

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
11:42 am

Well…since you Married *Up*, I can see how you would have the expectation that your date always paid especially as he appeared to have been in a better position to do so.

And I’m not saying that your viewpoint is wrong, it’s what worked for you. For me, it was different. It was about letting him see that I was prepared to meet him where he was and that I didn’t see him as a potential sponsor for life, but as a potential partner for life.

Button

August 9th, 2011
11:43 am

I believe that the man should pay for all the dates, my boyfriend pays for every single thing even down to the 10 cent bubble gum. A man has to show the woman that he is capable of taking care of her/houshold and by paying for dates sets the trend. At the end of our date I ALWAYS thank my bf too. I personally think it’s offensive for a woman to offer to pay for a date, what are you trying to prove? Let a man be a man and let him woo you.

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
11:45 am

I was going to refrain from commenting on the Titanic analogy. However, I offer this:

The thing about the Titanic is that folks that had access to a lifeboat came out of the ordeal just fine.

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 9th, 2011
11:46 am

Well I was taught not to depend on a man for anything. I was also taught that it is gentlemanly for the guy to pay, but if not all the time. If you are spending a lot of time together and you are always going out, then yes you (the lasy) should pay. I feel that if I ask a guy to go somewhere…I am paying. I’ve had some guys who even then, had a problem with me paying. But of course I insisted.

Also, I feel that sometimes, some guys feel like you “owe” them something. Please, Coke & a smile nor a Happy meal will open the Pearlie Gates! :lol:

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
11:47 am

Now I’m taking away my man’s manhood cause I paid for a filet?!?

Um..yeah…no…my man’s wallet is not the only thing that makes him a man.

Button

August 9th, 2011
11:48 am

I’m already paying for the date by getting my nails, hair and or outfit for the date. That bill alone can go thru the ceiling. and to go in on the dinner/entertainment too?? that’s asinine! Oh and if kids are involved, then there’s the sitter’s charge.

Mike P

August 9th, 2011
11:49 am

Good Morning All,

The following statement applies to causal dating, hookups and encounters:
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the person who pays should be the same one who’s doing the asking. Everybody is out to get there needs/desires met, so who ever “wants” it more is the one who gonna be doing the asking there is the one who’s gonna pay regardless of gender, PERIOD!!!

Any man who has an honest, sincere, romantic interest in a lady (read a real woman) should always take the initiative to do all the asking for the date, thereby doing all the paying, making sure she understands and appreciates your loving intent. Never date a female who isn’t a lady (in attitude, attire, and behavior), you’ll be a wasting time and money.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
11:50 am

I took a lady out, while still climbing out of my poor days. We went to the Cheesecake Factory, and she kept ordering drinks and wine spritzers (not hard to take a $30 food bill to over a $100 that way, I promise you). She offerred to pay for our next date, which turned out to be a picnic at Stone Mountain. So her cost was the cost of two delis from Publix and a bottle of wine. ;-) $120/$16. No big deal though. LOL.

Button

August 9th, 2011
11:51 am

You said the key word Sexy “only” I’m noway saying that money is the sole of a man’s manhood.

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
11:51 am

And what about him getting his hair cut, car washed, shoes shined…???
And I don’t have children so….

You know what? Never mind.

Again – do what works for you.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
11:53 am

@ Sexy Cool…re “wallet”. In one of his live shows, Robin Williams asked a guy in the audience about his marital status. He replied “divorced”. Robin then said, “ahhh divorce, from the ancient Roman word meaning to remove a man’s testicles through his wallet”. ;-)

cba

August 9th, 2011
11:54 am

I have always stressed to my daughter the importance of education and constantly learning so that it’s possible for her to provide for herself. If she finds a man that can provide or assist her, that icing on the cake. I sure as hell don’t want her expecting a man to provide for her total financial needs. Even Ms Gates had a job before she married Bill.

Button

August 9th, 2011
11:54 am

I agree Mike P

Mike P

August 9th, 2011
11:56 am

@BlackMagicWoman: the pearly gates should be your pleasing attitude and pretty smile and not puuntang. Think about it, why would I work for sumthing I can get for free? (supply outpaces demand). Punntang is overpriced and therefore women who hold this as the ulitmate prize seem only lower the own “market value.”

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
11:57 am

cba – Church.

Button

August 9th, 2011
11:57 am

It has been working. The debate is huge and no one really has the answer. I know some are fine with paying/splitting the bill, while others won’t even dare go there.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
12:01 pm

@ cba. My mom and stepfathr, and my father before he died were in a generation that men provided and the lady stayed home. However thaalso meant maybe a small 3 Br home with one bath and a carport. My first house was a new 3 br, two bath, double garage, and wall to wall carpet, with cable tv and two cars in the garage.

My point is that if a man has to prove he can support the lady on his own, then don’t expect a mansion with 15 rooms. Most “standard living” these days is premised on two incomes. It is what it is.

ATL Guy

August 9th, 2011
12:01 pm

Button – are you trying to be an Accessory Date!? You sound High Maintenance !!! I would tell you to buy your own Trident Gum for your bad breath … then I’d ask you for a piece

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
12:05 pm

Randy – ThatIsTheTruth.com

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
12:08 pm

MikeP – what do you expect a woman to bring to a relationship? And how do assess whether or not she meets your expectations?

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 9th, 2011
12:08 pm

MIKE P….some women spread the cookies around like snacks at a daycare! Now obviously, there is a great value to it because a good amount of immature boys parading as men that are lying, cheating, game playing and stealing to get a cookie as if it the last cookie on earth!

Now I do not equate dates to booty. But some people do. So hence the reason I will always have money to pay my own way.

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
12:10 pm

Button – similar question for you – what are you bringing to a relationship besides having “everything did” and a cute outfit and some kids? And how do you assure your interest of those things?

cba

August 9th, 2011
12:10 pm

Randyt, that’s why we are on the Titanic, we wanted the 15 room mansion, fully furnitured but we only had funds for a 2 room bungalow. :-)

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
12:18 pm

Afternoon, all!

I didn’t see him as a potential sponsor for life, but as a potential partner for life.
co-sign, all in caps, and bolded.

Mike P

August 9th, 2011
12:21 pm

Hmm… I just had an interesting conversation with some folks in my office, check it….
Here’s something for the ladies to think about…

This is especially true with younger, higher testosterone filled men moreso than older, established, more experienced men:

The more a man is free to possess, the more he can freely love the person, place, or thing.
If a man possess a “hot” car, he is free to love his car, much more so then some who don’t own that same car. A man is happier and loves his job when he takes ownership or possesses his job. It would be no different then with his woman> If a woman is too independent to submit to her man, then he will be hesitant to love her truly (exclusivity) because he can’t possess her (not in a slave kinda way but in a “taking ownership” kinda way). Psychologically, he would need and be forced to take care of her much the same way he take care of himself (assuming he takes care of himself lol).

cba

August 9th, 2011
12:22 pm

BMW, I’ve gotta add your, “like snacks at a daycare” with ” like government cheese” that I saw someone posted on here awhile back :lol:

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
12:24 pm

MikeP: I don’t understand the logic here. Are you saying that a man must feel that a woman is exclusively his/his possession in order to love her truly and fully??

Willie Dynamite

August 9th, 2011
12:27 pm

Afternoon All,

Timeless debate but interesting comments so far. As for me, I can see both sides of the issue. Personally I never mae it an issue when dating. Thankfully at a very young age I developed (probably over-developed) spidey senses to weed out the ‘in need of a sponsor’ chicks. I seldom went on typical dates. I and my friends entertained a lot at home and usually everything went through that route. I would occasionally fancy someone that I wanted to get to know better. I really like conversing with Women and found that a nice stroll through the park would give me the opportunity to find out what I needed to know. Once I found that out and wanted more I had no problem going out and paying for dates. It was part of the deal and to be expected. I would of course find it refreshing if she offered after a few times out or even offed to pay the tip.
If anything I’ll say that its someone for everyone. If you have a problem paying for every date as a man then you’d better change up your filter and do a better job and finding your target audience.

Mike P

August 9th, 2011
12:36 pm

@SexyCool: it depends on what I am looking for at the time. If I were to be looking for a good time, I wouldn’t be looking for too much in the female in terms of character. But if I were looking for wifey, I would note her: (1) overall mental attitude, (2) agreeableness, (3) level of warmth & kindness towards me and others, (4) Her relationship with her father (father figure), (5) consistency of her application of femininity in all circumstances, (6) her desire to be mother, wife, and helpmate.

@In to the light: Yes! that’s why real men don’t marry whores (well at least historically, Biblical-y, Qua’anic-aly).

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
12:40 pm

“consistency of her application of femininity in all circumstances”

Huh?!?

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
12:48 pm

“consistency of her application of femininity in all circumstances”

SC – That’s the ratio of matching sexy bra and panty days versus granny panty days :lol:

The ratio of hair nicely done and kept days versus seeing her ass around the house in that raggedy head rag days

The ratio of come to bed in sexy nighties versus dragging yo stank behind to bed in that oversized t-shirt with holes and stains on it days..

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
12:49 pm

@SC ~ another way of saying be a lady at all times….no matter what the circumstance!

Fion

August 9th, 2011
12:49 pm

“Do you think that women should offer to pay more often? Is it something men are expecting us to do in the early stages of dating?”

Picking up the check for the Man with options is nothing new ladies, after all he knows it’s his money. The trick is what do you bring to the table to enhance his world not currently present.
Don’t get it twisted. All my Grown Folk. You know, you know the game.

Just sayin’

Celisea

August 9th, 2011
12:49 pm

Men are born pursurers, leaders, protectors and providers…in all faucets of life. How can a man naturally take the lead in some arenas but in others, keep count?

I don’t believe in “let the good times roll” at the expense of others either so I too will opt out of hanging without zero ounce of potential. However, I tend to believe that things don’t just “start up” on a whim. Whatever pattern set during our courting/dating phase will only transcend into the more serious/permanent stages. Frankly don’t look to me to taking the “half” stance…..half the rent, half the mortgage, half the car note, half the bills, half the groceries. No, there’s yours, here’s mine together it’s one pot. You being the man though, Imma trust you to carry the pot and handle your (being yours mine ours) business.

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
12:51 pm

Leggs – I knew that…but er, um…after that whole “woman is a possession” line and then that, I’m like, “Dude…really?!?!”

SlimGoody – straight nutcase. LIKES this!!! (lol)

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
12:53 pm

Cel – I’m not saying “pay half.” I’m just saying treat sometimes. That is all.

Willie Dynamite

August 9th, 2011
12:54 pm

I see it as a vicious unrepenting cycle. If/When you start keeping score then you are deep in the game and have already lost. The Man comes to expect something after dropping $$$ after a few dates. The Woman expects to get a few entertainment $$$ dropped in the name of courting before she puts out. Either way it has no long term future and just repeats itself. If you look at it probably over half the dating pool is in this cycle. The other half runs into them quite frequently and either gets turned off by the whole process (bitter) or finds out how to navigate in there own lane.

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
12:54 pm

@SlimNu ~ she already knew that (lol).

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
12:55 pm

And for those who believes that a man should ALWAYS pay, does a woman ALWAYS cook and do all the cleaning and all the laundry and so on and so on?

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 9th, 2011
12:56 pm

“consistency of her application of femininity in all circumstances”

So am I supposed to play the damsel in distress just so a boy can feel like a man? GTHOH :roll:

I am not a possession, property or an item. I am a grown woman who works hard to take care of my lifestyle. A man is an accessory not a necessity! I am complete, so adding a man to my life is adding another part…another book to my series.

Submit is a dirty word in my book. It means weak, docile, and doormat. I am SO far from that and proud of it! So if a guy cannot except me as an equal partner, then he is NOT worthy of me. Those “Am I Man” types are put in the category of: http://www.kissmya$$.com :lol:

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
12:58 pm

I still don’t understand how the question: Are you saying that a man must feel that a woman is exclusively his/his possession in order to love her truly and fully??
got the response: Yes! that’s why real men don’t marry whores

Unless my man feels that I am his possession he can’t love and marry me, ergo I am a whore??

joe cool

August 9th, 2011
1:04 pm

MAN UP!!!! IT’S 2011.. SHE GETS WORKS AND GETS PAID JUST LIKE U DO.. ENOOUGH FREE LOADING. PAY AS U PLAY.. POPCORN PLAYA

Mike P

August 9th, 2011
1:05 pm

@BlackMagicWoman: So am I supposed to play the damsel in distress just so a boy can feel like a man? GTHOH :roll: who said anything about playing the damsel in distress??

I was coming from a standpoint of GOD creating eve to be Adam’s helpmate, She was made for him, his purpose. It it through your Adam do you get back to GOD, only way for you do this is to submit to your man, so who would you choose, the Rocko type or loving type? Choose wisely, choose better.

@leggs: thank you for the clarification.

Mike P

August 9th, 2011
1:12 pm

@Into the Light : men don’t and will never love a whore because she belongs to every man. men who love their woman are much less likely to forgive her if she cheats on him because in his mind, he no longer have exclusively, meaning less possession, meaning less freedom to love her. He has to “share” her with another or others, and in the back of his mind, a whore.

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
1:12 pm

Should a woman offer to pay at all? No! ,

Button

August 9th, 2011
1:15 pm

Sexy your question is rather redundant @ 12ish and 12:55.

I do what works for me now as I did in the past. Again I see nothing wrong with a man paying for the dates, NOTHING and if you feel obliged to pay for a date or two or three then by all means do it!

Mike P

August 9th, 2011
1:17 pm

In to the light: Unless my man feels that I am his possession he can’t love and marry me, ergo I am a whore??

No, what was said in the conversation was: the more a woman submits to her man, the more he has “ownership” the more freedom he has to love her, He becomes more protective, supportive, and an enthused, generous provider of her and to her.

Button

August 9th, 2011
1:17 pm

I would not date a guy who is okay with me paying for a date. No way no how!

Fion

August 9th, 2011
1:18 pm

Eat the Damn Cake then Annie Mae. Just eat the damn Cake!

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
1:18 pm

Yeah…no…not seeing the redudant question.
But..um…yeah…okay…what you said.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
1:18 pm

@ cba re “Randyt, that’s why we are on the Titanic, we wanted the 15 room mansion, fully furnitured but we only had funds for a 2 room bungalow.”

EXACTLY!!! That isn’t microeconomics, that is 5th grade math. How they can’t understand this simple concept is beyond me.

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
1:19 pm

WOW, this is turning into a comedy skit!

@Button ~ no sweat, to each their own!

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
1:20 pm

MikeP – you mean “ownership” as in more of a buy-in, taking ownership as in taking responsibility. Not as an actual possession or a thing like a car or a house, right?

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
1:21 pm

MikeP, maybe we’re disagreeing on the semantics of what you mean by ownership….

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
1:24 pm

Actually, SC clarified the question better than I did. :)

Button

August 9th, 2011
1:25 pm

Leggs that’s what I thought this blog was about – our personal experience or opinon, instead it’s a constant battle.

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
1:28 pm

I just know that if I invited my sweetie out when we were dating, I didn’t mind paying because I didn’t want to send the message that I was inviting his wallet out to sponsor something that I wanted to do.

Now…basically, it all comes from the same pot so it doesn’t matter who makes the physical display of pulling out the cash.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
1:28 pm

@ Button

You seem very comfortable with your stance and I’m not going to judge because it is “whatever floats your boat” (gee some of the people on here eat brocolli…how the hellz do you do that ;-) ? )

That said, I have heard a number of times that to find the kind of person you want to be with, you have to become the same person…or at least that works the best when “hunting”. So I am guessing that if you want to be treated like a queen (and nothing wrong with that), you are comfortable treating him like a King> Would that be a fair asseement. If so, what ways do you do this?

czBrat

August 9th, 2011
1:29 pm

HiYas!

what am i missing? good stuff today? simply put, if i invite, i pay. most of the time he refuses to let me do that, but i insist. because i want to.

what’s up with the “submit”, “possession” and “whore” discussion(s). i have no problem with submission or a sense of ownership in a relationship, but where’s the whore element coming into play?

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
1:32 pm

@Button ~ who’s battling? I simply said “to each their own” Many here have different views toward paying. You are adamant about yours with no crevice for compromise to seep in. That’s your stance, that’s your stance!

Celisea

August 9th, 2011
1:32 pm

I don’t think I’ve objected to reciprocating and appreciating being apprecatied. I think something is wrong if you’re always on the receiving end and feel no kind of way about that. I’m just not with dudes that’s keeping score and all this talk about it’s time to pay up. What’s that all about? I think a dude that will allow me to regularly pay will allow me to take care of him. IMO (not a man but this is what I think)….I think most men will appreciate the gesture to pay more so than actually paying

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
1:32 pm

cz: Read Mike P’s 12:21, my 12:24, and MikeP’s 12:36 response

Celisea

August 9th, 2011
1:33 pm

And ya’ll know though I ain’t taking care of no man right? Okay…just clarifying.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
1:33 pm

Regarding “possessions”, I kind of feel that in a successful long term relationship you sort of “own” each other. I know for me, I don’t want to be “sharing the lady’s goodies” with anyone…and she feels the same way about my body, which I am comfortable with. We sort of laugh when I talk like I own her body, which she freely hands over “ownership” of, and I do the same. Her comment is that I better eat better, work out, and stay healthy becasue she expects to “own” me for a long time ;-)

Celisea

August 9th, 2011
1:34 pm

And while I might not pick up the tab often (cause nope that ain’t happening), I know how to show appreciate for a man well deserving.

Celisea

August 9th, 2011
1:34 pm

“appreciation”

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
1:35 pm

Cel – well in that case, seems as if we are just about >here< as we tend to be most often.

Celisea

August 9th, 2011
1:36 pm

Off topic, I was commenting how “fat” I’m getting and this guy (the new guy) said something or other to “what you say about me” in jest…then said “btw….you are NOT fat” :) :) :)

Mike P

August 9th, 2011
1:36 pm

yes… think of it this way… Two men work for a company(same job title); one man “takes” ownership in his job, the other man simply works for a paycheck. The man who takes “ownership” in his job, stakes claim, is more responsible, and is concern about maintaining a good working relationship with the company, he works harder, enjoys his job or even loves what he does. Having that kind of ownership in a company can allow (the conditions are right) the man to be promoted within, moving higher and higher in the working relationship building value for all parties involved… The other man stagnates in his position, get bitter, or simply quits, giving up on the relationship… This scenario is not much different then the “working’ relationship of a man and a woman. When the man takes ownership of the women (after she willingly submits to him), the relationship grows higher and higher with increasing value for all parties involved.

I’m off to a late lunch blog folks :)

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
1:36 pm

@ Celisea re: “I think most men will appreciate the gesture to pay more so than actually paying”

Exactly.

Celisea

August 9th, 2011
1:36 pm

SexyC – Yep, I got what you’re saying….and most at that. Just these folks tombout “Itsa new day, time for women to pay!” LOL

DreamsMaterialize

August 9th, 2011
1:37 pm

Hey Everyone

Sometimes I just wonder why we make dating so hard. It really isn’t that difficult. If dude wants his woman to pay sometimes, all he has to do it address it. He’ll either get agreement or objection, at which point he has a choice to make. Dating is so easy. Figure out who you are, what you like, and project that confidently. Know that there are people out there who will love you exactly as you are. The key is to find that audience. Pitch your product to those in the market for what you’re selling. If you think women should pay sometimes, and your pitching that to the “I never pay. Men should pay my bills” crowd, then your sales conversion will be zero. Marketing 101.

Sassy Me ;-)

August 9th, 2011
1:38 pm

Eat the Damn Cake then Annie Mae…

I don’t want no cake Ike….

Sexy all I could do was :lol: at your 1:18…for obvious reasons… I know right?!

The Reanimated Corpse of I'm Swiss (now with titanium-infused, bionic w@ng)

August 9th, 2011
1:39 pm

Afternoon, folks.

On topic: I alway pay, period. I would be embarrassed to let a woman pick up the check for me — the only possible exception being maybe if she’s taking me out for my birthday or something, but even then I feel a little weird. But that’s just me. To my mind, that’s just part of the deal when you’re a man, and if you don’t like it, stop going on dates for a while, save up some of that cash & get yourself a “reverse Chaz Bono” & maybe you can have somebody pick up the tab for you. :lol:

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
1:39 pm

SassyBlack – yep. (lol)

The Reanimated Corpse of I'm Swiss (now with titanium-infused, bionic w@ng)

August 9th, 2011
1:39 pm

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
1:39 pm

Now my wife has taken me out before and paid for everything. Put me on the passenger side, ordered for me and paid the bill. She would not even let me tip either. She got a little upset that I still tried to pay the bill other times she has given the server her card and I then gave the server my card and took hers back. She didn’t like that I did that but then again she did like it and gave me a smile.

Celisea

August 9th, 2011
1:42 pm

I sort of equate men paying/leading or the idea thereof to a heated debate I had with a cousin some years ago.

We all started out laughing and joning (not sure how to spell that) and she hit a touchy subject with me….single parent and taking care of my kid. Boy did I get hot in like 2 seconds. I was neck rolling and letting her know she didn’t know me, nothing about me, that I handled mine, was a good mother and a better example…that of couse she was all high and mighty cause she hadn’t experienced nothing, blah blah blah. She calmly waited until I was done and was like…you get no hero cookies for what’s your duty to do. You and all of America are taking care of their kids. When you do something extra and beyond parenting talk to me then. Now, I know for certain she wasn’t belittle the job of parenting and raising kids but it’s almost like wanting extras for doing what I should be doing. Boy talk about eye opening. THAT’S how I see men complaining about picking up tabs and stuff. Your turn my turn…what is that?? YOU’RE A MAN….get it done

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
1:43 pm

@ Mike P. I heard a story many years ago about the same thing in your 1:36. A group of railroad employees were working beside the tracks with shovels when the fanciest rail car in the line stopped right beside them. The President of the company stuck his head out and smiled at one of the workers and said “Hey Jim, how are you?”? Jim smiled back and they exhanged pleasantries. When the train moved on, one of the workers asked Jim if he knew the President of the RR company. He replied that they had started on the same day many years ago. One of them asked how one was still working on the side of the railroad track while the other was now President. He replied, “I went to work for $2 and hour, he went to work for the railroad.”

Dynamic

August 9th, 2011
1:43 pm

Finances are such a hard topic to have with others. You also have to take into account some women who have been taught by their parents that a man should always be a provider. I’v heard the arguement that men are naturally providers and women are natural receivers….

If I am in a committed monagamous relationship with a man and it’s your birthday or something special that I want to do for you then I do pay. I have never been asked by a man to pay, and I agree it comes off as crass.

Celisea

August 9th, 2011
1:44 pm

your pitching that to the “I never pay. Men should pay my bills” crowd,

Two different issues Dreams, two different issues

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
1:45 pm

Well, I am offended when a woman offers to pay for me. That’s just me though. She should know that I am not going to let her pay unless she throws a fit and it’s my birthday. LOL

DreamsMaterialize

August 9th, 2011
1:45 pm

And ya’ll know though I ain’t taking care of no man right? Okay…just clarifying.
Celisea Stop playing. You know I been laying up on your couch playing xbox for like six months. oh and can you stop and get some more air freshener on your way home. I been blowin it up all day from that pot roast you made. ;-)

Sassy Me ;-)

August 9th, 2011
1:45 pm

“I think most men will appreciate the gesture to pay more so than actually paying”

I concur but I don’t have a problem paying OR if he pays for the meal then I leave the tip….I feel uncomfortable with a man paying the total bill and I want to let him know that he’s with someone who appreciates him and is willing to show it…. Plus that’s just how I do…

Celisea

August 9th, 2011
1:45 pm

Exactly Purp and Randyt

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
1:45 pm

Purp – The beau has done that to me too…give me my card back and give the server his card.

Button

August 9th, 2011
1:46 pm

Randyt by saying thank you, your royal majesty. than I place another star on his crown.lol
just kidding….if you’re hinting at whether I put out or not, it’s absolutely NOT! I keep it simple and clean and say thank you and that’s it. Maybe I’m just fortunate enough to have dated guys where generous.

Celisea

August 9th, 2011
1:46 pm

You know I been laying up on your couch playing xbox for like six months. oh and can you stop and get some more air freshener on your way home. I been blowin it up all day from that pot roast you made.

Yeah that’s why the name Dreams huh? Riiiight.

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
1:48 pm

Ok, so we’ve beaten the dinner dates to death…what is the code of ethic, so to speak, for taking a vacation together? If the guys invites or asks the chick to go on a vacation, does that mean he is offering the trip under an ‘all expenses paid’ notion? Or does that typically mean, transportation & hotel but everything else on her??

czBrat

August 9th, 2011
1:48 pm

ITL … you’re awesome! :)

i get what mike is saying. i think that’s just a man’s POV. no harm or insult intended, i’m sure. i’ve often had the discussion with s/o that marriage is like being taken off the shelf, tagged, bagged and hauled home. i think it’s a pretty big deal for a guy to give a woman his name. i think it gives both a certain sense of ownership. i guess i’ve simply learned not to look at it as a bad thing. HOWEVER …. that’s also why i’ve bucked getting remarried for so long. not a step to be taken lightly.

during the dating process, i think most of us get to that point where we feel and act like we’re already wed before actually exchanging vows. that transformation takes place in the heart, soul and actions naturally … if it’s truly what both want.

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
1:50 pm

Celisea, you told me that was your cousin asleep on the couch when I snuck in to play xbox.

The Reanimated Corpse of I'm Swiss (now with titanium-infused, bionic w@ng)

August 9th, 2011
1:51 pm

If I was on a date with a chick (especially early on) and she absolutely insisted on paying, I would just assume she wasn’t that into me & was making sure I knew she didn’t owe me anything… :lol:

Fion

August 9th, 2011
1:51 pm

Ladies, please let clarify my position. I’m a Man of Principle and Uncompromising Integrity.
I’m unimpressed by your money and can’t be bought, but I can be leased out from time to time.

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
1:51 pm

Slim, how do you invite a woman on vacation then expect her to pay for anything on that vacation? Besides she probably already spent alot buying the perfect clothing for everyday of the trip. LOL

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
1:52 pm

i’ve often had the discussion with s/o that marriage is like being taken off the shelf, tagged, bagged and hauled home

LOL. Reminds me of that line from Steel Magnolias, “He’s from a good old southern family with good old southern values. You either shoot it, stuff it, or marry it.” :)

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
1:56 pm

@ Button, no not asking or suggesting that a fancy dinner buys the goodies (although I’ve bought many where I would have been much better off staying at home with a beer and a good book frankly ;-) . I was just asking what specific kinds of things that you might do to make him feel like royalty also, if indeed you do.

DreamsMaterialize

August 9th, 2011
1:56 pm

Two different issues Dreams, two different issues
Celisea I wasn’t taking a stance for or against. All I was saying is that you should be targeting an audience that appreciates what YOU have to offer. If you’re looking in places where people don’t want what you’re selling, then you’re out of luck. Dating is easy. Oh and don’t front, you know why my name is Dreams. Ok, I’m done before people think I’m really shacking up at your spot. lol

The Reanimated Corpse of I'm Swiss (now with titanium-infused, bionic w@ng)

August 9th, 2011
1:57 pm

“If the guys invites or asks the chick to go on a vacation, does that mean he is offering the trip under an ‘all expenses paid’ notion? “

Slim — I think you should be able to assume an all-expenses paid trip, but if you don’t rock his world while there, you won’t be invited on any more vacations… :lol:

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
1:57 pm

@PR ~ I was thinking along if he invites me on vacation, he’s paying for my ticket and room. I’ll reciprocate with paying for dinner and breakfast on occasion and then, let’s keep it real, my sexual prowess (if I’m going because we like each other).

If we hanging as friends, it’s dutch.

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
1:58 pm

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
1:59 pm

Leggs, I am not close enough to a female friend to take them on vacation. If I take a woman on vacation that means she and I are “close” and have a good history. LOL

czBrat

August 9th, 2011
1:59 pm

You either shoot it, stuff it, or marry it.
whew! :wink:

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
2:00 pm

What if you two collectively decide you want to take a vacation or small getaway? Is it still mainly the guy (for you guys who prefer to pay) that’s paying for the bulk of the trip…hotel, transportation (air, car, train, bus etc) as well as entertainment (excursions, dining or what have you)?

The Reanimated Corpse of I'm Swiss (now with titanium-infused, bionic w@ng)

August 9th, 2011
2:00 pm

Actually, it was a trip to Cancun with then-Swiss-Miss (our first together) that prompted me to go out & buy the ring as soon as we got back home. Mmm mmm mmm, that lil’ mama sexed me into submission on that trip — and had the whole resort jealous as hell, too :lol:

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:01 pm

I agree with Leggs. If he invites me on vacation, he’s probably planning to pay. As a way to say thank you, I think it’s completely appropriate for me to pick up a dinner tab or two.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:03 pm

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
2:04 pm

Vacations…I’m into road trips for the weekend early. The if we don’t kill each other, it is time to break out the Delta, Marriott, and AMEX points…compliments of my company sending me everywhere but home ;-)

Lady and I are going to Niagara and Toronto maybe next month for a long weekend. Maybe Paris or Zurich in the Spring or maybe London and take the train over to Paris. I love Paris. London is cool (except for right now unfortunately).

Button

August 9th, 2011
2:05 pm

As for vacation, if he suggests he pays and I expect to have my own room, I’ve been in that situation before, I suggested a get away and I paid for my own room and he paid for everything else.

Randyt, I don’t get where you’re coming from, I don’t do anything special to thank him other than saying thank you. I’ve been on dates where the guy would want to go “there” because he took me out and he was in for a surprise because I don’t get down like that. I know when I’ve met someone who values my time just as much as he values his and his expenses.

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
2:05 pm

Slim – If you decide together it’s a trip you want to take, then I would also ask right away how we are going to handle the expenses. You understand the man you are seeing, so you know how it’s probably going to roll, if you are at the point where you want to take a trip together.

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
2:05 pm

So when a chick accepts a vacation offer, she needs to make sure she packs some ice packs, lube and gatorade? :lol: Otherwise, I suppose she should pay for her own room, Got It!

swiss – :lol:

Fion

August 9th, 2011
2:05 pm

@ Slim
If you feelin’ the dude and he’s feelin’ you, just ask him. Communicate. Nothing wrong with asking and seeking clarification.

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
2:09 pm

Just me, but I only accepted overnight trips from men I was very close to. So it was understood that we’d be in the same room and something was going to go down. No need for my own room. Otherwise, the most you would get out of me would be a day trip.

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
2:10 pm

Randyt – Those plans sound fabulous!!

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
2:10 pm

@ Button, I was just suggesting that if the generous man is what you like, then being genrous to him (not sex, am talking about just being nice, interested, flatttering, maybe transparent…whatever attributes that you would want in an LTR partner.

I was basically just asking what “attributes” do you find important or attractive in a man, and what attributes do you bring to the table yourself. Sex is an entirely different matter in my mind…but then I’ve never really had to chase it for whatever reason. It just happens when and if the time is right.

Button

August 9th, 2011
2:10 pm

Fion you said a mouth full just now. The art of communication clears the air and punch down drag out all confusion.

Fion

August 9th, 2011
2:11 pm

@ Slims
P. S. And if you really like him, help him out with picking the right week. You know the one where you don’t visitors.

The Reanimated Corpse of I'm Swiss (now with titanium-infused, bionic w@ng)

August 9th, 2011
2:11 pm

Slim — Not coincidentally, we’ve got an return trip to Cancun coming up at the end of the month for our anniversary. :-D I’ve already started hydrating. :lol:

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
2:12 pm

Fion – I know communication is key but I just want to know what folks expectations were because seems most of us have them, in some shape or form. So I suppose you mean expect her to have the big expenses handled if she invites YOU on a little getaway? lol

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:12 pm

Randyt, I’m with you on the “let’s stick to a road trip early on, until we know how well we travel together” idea. You NEVER know how some people are until you get them out of their environment.

Celisea

August 9th, 2011
2:13 pm

PR – Celisea, you told me that was your cousin asleep on the couch when I snuck in to play xbox.

Don’t mind Dreams…”he’s just kidding” :)

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
2:13 pm

RAndy – I too have asked her what she brings to the relationship. She didn’t answer me either.

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
2:15 pm

Fion – I bet that changes the whole dynamic of a trip knowing Aunt Flo is tagging along lol Seems to be the change in atmosphere that makes sex that much more fun when you’re in a strange place.

swiss – Don’t drink too much…we wouldn’t want anything to explode before you get a chance to allow her to make you explode :oops:

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
2:15 pm

I’m also with Leggs & Light, if a guy invited me on a trip, I would expect him to pay the bulk, but cover a few of the meals and/or entertainment myself.

Fion

August 9th, 2011
2:17 pm

@ Slim
No, not at all. On times where she has asked me to go away for the weekend, I still paid for my plane ticket and half the room. But, that’s me.
On the real, aye man, if you can’t ask staight out about expenses on a trip and it not be a big thing,
then man I don’t know.

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
2:17 pm

My friends and I have asked some women we just met to meet us in Curacao before. That meant we were going and if they wanted to come the needed to make their own arrangements to get there. They did and we had fun. LOL

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
2:18 pm

meant ‘men’ not mean’

Button

August 9th, 2011
2:18 pm

The attributes I bring to the table is in harmony to the man I’m seriously dating, for one being our christian lifestyles, and the nack{sp} for having our own business which he already have and I hopefully one day in the near future. That’s why I mentioned valued time. I don’t waste my time or energy with someone I’m not in harmony with, and at the same token I wouldn’t waste (his) time either, it’s useless and too much stress.

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
2:19 pm

I had a gf that was invited to Hawaii about 2 years ago. She was nervous. And old boyfriend from H.S. She’s been in communication with on and off over the years. She wanted to go, but didn’t want to give up her “honey pot.” I told her to stay her behind home because no dude is going to invite you to Hawaii, all expense paid, not try for you to drop your drawers. If you don’t plan on having sex talk to him about it before boarding that plane! She went, she mounted, and she came back smiling!!!

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
2:20 pm

Once again that is why a man needs a good filter, you cant just go paying for everything for every woman. If she has passed my test she deserves whatever I have to offer. But if she is just a fling, I am not paying for anything nor will we ever be in any situation that would require me to pay for anything other than condoms, a hotel room and #3 Super-sized from McDonalds….cheese is based on her performance.

Button

August 9th, 2011
2:22 pm

Purple you just dropped a bag full of GEMS!! :)

Fion

August 9th, 2011
2:22 pm

@Purp
Hold up Man! Applebee’s has the 2- for $20 Purp. Upgrade from that #3 Super sized.

Willie Dynamite

August 9th, 2011
2:23 pm

vacation, road trips, weekend away etc. If i ask I assume total fiscal responsibility up front. Then again i’m not asking until we have already somewhat progressed in our relationship so to speak.

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
2:24 pm

cheese is based on her performance.

:lol:

Button

August 9th, 2011
2:24 pm

@ Purple Some woman are just too tooo…….

I have gf’s that will pay for a mule if the guy lets her. I shake my head and lol at them, and will brag about it…smh

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
2:24 pm

Leggs, lol If I invite a woman on a trip we have already had sex before.

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
2:24 pm

@PR ~ your 2:17 is a given that if they want to go, they would pay their own way and secure their own room.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:25 pm

sn: I don’t know why, Fion, but when I read you, I hear Terrence Howard in my head….. “aye man”

Button

August 9th, 2011
2:25 pm

Leggs wow at your friend.

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
2:26 pm

Purple – Same here, if I’m agreeing to go away with you, then we’ve done the do before, so that’s not even an issue.

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
2:26 pm

Well, they did PR, but it was decades ago (lol).

Fion

August 9th, 2011
2:27 pm

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
2:27 pm

Fion that #3 Super Sized is just for her, I don’t eat fast food. LOL if I take her to Applebee’s she may get the wrong impression. Besides she only eats after the deed is done, take her to the drive thru and she can eat that #3 Super Sized on the way to me taking her home or the bus stop.

The Reanimated Corpse of I'm Swiss (now with titanium-infused, bionic w@ng)

August 9th, 2011
2:28 pm

“Don’t drink too much…we wouldn’t want anything to explode before you get a chance to allow her to make you explode”

No danger of that, Slim. We make sure to have regular releases to alleviate pressure on the floodgates. :lol:

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
2:28 pm

@button ~ Yep!

cba

August 9th, 2011
2:29 pm

Man, I’m lucky to have married the woman i’m with. Lucky because we were both 24(actually I was 3 wks from 24) and were not analyzing every single aspects of “what if”. Like Dreams posted, its not that complicated if you pitch your product to a target audience. Or, as my grandma would say, you need to be cut from the same quilt.

Fion

August 9th, 2011
2:29 pm

@Purp

You know you crazy, right?

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:29 pm

I agree with Kimmie. If my SO and I are going away for the weekend, the sleeping arrangement is already understood.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
2:30 pm

Hey Kimmie. Thanks. I love Europe. When I am in the UK for more than a week, I am almost always hopping an EasyJet or Ryannair to somewhere in Europe. For food and just being “comfortable”, then Barcelona and the Med coast are awesome. Great food, great sights, and history, then go to Paris. To party hard and drink gallons of beer then Dublin, scotch go to Edinburgh. Its all great. I still haven’t been to Amsterdam although I have flown into it several times and changed planes. For the best food on Earth, then Rome or anywhere in Italy.

I’m so ready to get on a plane again.

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
2:30 pm

kimmie, exactly.

Leggs your friend probably did the do with him before they went. I don’t know of any normal 9 to 5 guy that is going to ask a woman on a trip like that without at small sample before hand.

I’m old school, if she gives good head and has a nice set of tittays we can travel!

Fion

August 9th, 2011
2:30 pm

Madam since we are discussing financial arrangements, can we discuss leasing
with an Option to Buy???

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
2:31 pm

cba – SayItAgain.com

(lol)

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:31 pm

LOL @ PR. I think there’s a Diceman monologue in there somewhere…..

cba, your grandma is wise! I’ve always liked that saying…

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
2:31 pm

Fion, not to mention if I take her to Applebee’s that would mean I would have to sit there and watch/listen to her eat and talk. My affection is not that deep for a fling. LOL

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
2:32 pm

ITL, that is all Purp. :)

Button

August 9th, 2011
2:32 pm

Randyt you get around eh?

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
2:32 pm

If I’m going away for the weekend with someone, he is already my SO and a sleeping arrangement question is unnecessary.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:35 pm

Purp, you are too funny!! Tell the truth, you’ve got on your Purple Pimp amethyst medallion and big gold rope chain today, don’t you??? :)

Fion

August 9th, 2011
2:35 pm

Hey everybody hang back for minute, let Button and Randyt walk ahead.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
2:36 pm

@ Button…sometimes. Domestic and International. Mostly business, but they know my weekends are off limits. I hit the road early on trips…plenty of time for sleep on the other side of the tombstone ;-)

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
2:39 pm

ITL, no hat just a purple suit and my hair in shirley temple curls today. LOL

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
2:40 pm

Randyt – I want to go to Italy and see the Mediterranean SO BAD!! We are saving for Hawaii next summer, then we’ve agreed that Europe is next!

Button

August 9th, 2011
2:40 pm

That’s really cool Randyt. I like a well traveled man, it speaks volumn, all the stories, so do you have a lot of souvenis? My bf is well traveled also, I enjoy hearing his travel stories.

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
2:41 pm

plenty of time for sleep on the other side of the tombstone

Randyt – That’s what I say! I’m constantly on the go and love it! Sleep later!

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:42 pm

Purp: On the good ship, Lollipop…… :)

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
2:42 pm

No Fion I don’t walk in front of anyone. ;-) I’m just a country kid who has travel in my DNA, certainly nothing special, just equally at home wearing full contamination gear in a radiation zone in Albuquerce, wearing a tuxedo and having formal dinners in skyscrapers in Manhattan, or jumping a subway in some capital in Europe. A long way from Hawkins County Tennessee ;-) .

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
2:42 pm

kimmie, you should go to Italy with my family we go twice a year. Experience the real Italy and not the tourist stuff.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:43 pm

Randyt: I’m trying to imagine where/why you would need full dress-out in Albequerqe….

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
2:45 pm

and #3 Super-sized from McDonalds….cheese is based on her performance

I almost choked on my kit kat :lol: Dayum boo, can I pay for the cheese? lol

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:45 pm

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
2:45 pm

RAndy – Fion meant let us all hang back so that the two of you could get to know each other.

The Reanimated Corpse of I'm Swiss (now with titanium-infused, bionic w@ng)

August 9th, 2011
2:47 pm

ITL — Albuquerque was the contamination gear, not the formalwear. There’s that big nuclear research facility in Los Alamos, not far away, so lots of nuclear waste in New Mexico. Had the misfortune of spending a couple of weeks there for work last summer. Wasn’t impressed…. :lol:

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
2:47 pm

Italy is great Kimmie. A tad humid in Rome, but when you walk the same paths as the Caesars did 2000 years ago, eat seafood pasta to die for, and walk into the Coliseum in Rome and realize that during the 100 day games, 10,000 gladiators/slaves/wild animals might meet in the Arena. You get the feeling our country was just purchased two weeks ago at WalMart. Awesome. Hawaii is nice…i ahven’t been in many years but Maui is till probably the most beautiful place I’ve ever been.

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
2:48 pm

@PR ~ naw, they didn’t sample…he lives in Hawaii and she lives here. That would be the first time they’ve seen each other in years!

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
2:49 pm

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:50 pm

Full dress out is the same as full contamination gear to me. Wasn’t even thinking of Los Alamos (V-8 slap to the forehead). Duh!

The Reanimated Corpse of I'm Swiss (now with titanium-infused, bionic w@ng)

August 9th, 2011
2:52 pm

Oh, and didn’t mean to butt in on the convo there re: Albuquerque… But every time I hear mention of that place I feel the need to b!tch about it. :lol:

Randy — I’m with you on Maui. Not much in the way of night life, but absolutely beautiful — and pretty much every kind of climate you can imagine, all within a day’s drive.

cba

August 9th, 2011
2:53 pm

So Randyt, what’s your rem count for this year?

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:53 pm

And what’s your lifetime dose? (couldn’t resist piggy-backing on your question, cba)

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
2:53 pm

@ Swiss, I surveyed radioactive dog poop (seriously) on the back side of Kirkland AFB and Sandia labs. Went to the “largest flea market” in the SW there. Every third booth had bongs, waterpipes, and rolling papers. I thought I had walked through a time warp back to the ’70s. The hot air balloon festival in October there is spectacular though. Been to Los Alamos a number of times.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:56 pm

Back to the travel topic: Has anyone ever purchased a vacation package from Groupon Getaways? Some of these deals look pretty amazing….

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
2:57 pm

My ex was talking about he isn’t looking for a relationship or anything from the chicks he deals with. So some how the topic of them spending the night came up and he was like, ain’t nobody spending the night. I said, well they are good enough to bang out but not enough to let them stay all night. He was like, for whatever reason he just isn’t into them by the time the sun comes up. It’s almost an irritant to have them there when he wakes up. So i asked how does he go about getting them to leave and he responded with something to the effect of having something to do in the morning. I was like fool, you ain’t got no job, so are they really believing that? He had me cracking up. He even went on to say there is this chick that wants to come over, eat drink, smoke then fck…he was like dayum, can she just smoke and fck. WOW! The mind of guys :shock:

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
2:58 pm

@ cba and ITL Not too high. Haven’t been in a rad zone in awhile now, doing the financial end now mostly. Actually the only real measurable dose I ever got was in a junk yard in Oak Ridge and not even doing rad stuff. Strange.

Time and distance is what is important with rad…I watch, count and move the hellz away if I get uncomfortable.

The Reanimated Corpse of I'm Swiss (now with titanium-infused, bionic w@ng)

August 9th, 2011
2:59 pm

Randy — I don’t doubt it (the radioactive dog poop). Yeah, Los Alamos Labs & UNM are both clients of ours, so I’ve had to make a couple trips out there. Just not my cup of tea, I guess.

Dynamic

August 9th, 2011
2:59 pm

@ Swiss Mmm mmm mmm, that lil’ mama sexed me into submission on that trip —

Am I the only perve that wanted details??? :)

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
2:59 pm

@ITL ~ my gf and I are looking at a package from Groupon back to Southbeach. She’s used them before and had no problems.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
3:02 pm

I just received an email from them with a picture of Costa Rica that is too beautiful! Calgon, take me away…. LOL

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
3:04 pm

@ Button…have thousands of pictures. One’s luggage is curtailed (or very expensive) on EasyJet and Ryannair. One can get to most anyplace in Western Europe in a couple of hours. I was coming back from Paris last year when I was chosen to be searched. There was a great looking French lady there doing the female searches and I laughed and said I wished she was searching me. She laughed and said “he must be an American”.

The Reanimated Corpse of I'm Swiss (now with titanium-infused, bionic w@ng)

August 9th, 2011
3:04 pm

“Am I the only perve that wanted details???”

Had you been there & been watching the hot tub by the main pool closely, you could have seen the details. Or the cabana by the beach. Or our balcony. Or the sauna. :lol:

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
3:05 pm

Purple – One of my coworkers from a few years ago did that. Tuscany, I think was nearby. Her brother-in-law was from there and had family still there. So she & her sister spent about 10 days in this little italian village and lived among the natives. She had a blast.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
3:07 pm

I watch, count and move the hellz away if I get uncomfortable.

Don’t you review the dose rate before entering the contaminated area and set and wear an alarming dosimeter to track?

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
3:08 pm

Slim you talk to your ex still?

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
3:10 pm

kimmie, i have tons of family still there and so does my wife so it will even be better now! Just know that you are going to eat eat and eat some more. And your husband would either have to play soccer with us or discuss motorsports! :)

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
3:10 pm

Yeah, but mostly just the TLDs that are checked later. Saw soem readings in a lab on Long Island taht scared me a little. I always had a dose meter or something like it with me so I was alwasys monitoruing real time. You seem very educated about these PEP instruments, etc.,…what is your background?

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
3:11 pm

Purp – Every once in a lime green moon…

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
3:12 pm

PR, I’m jealous. I love Italy.

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
3:12 pm

Actually the majority of both of our families are not in the States, LOL

Slim, why? Not trying to go anywhere with it I was just wondering why you do and why yall talk about “his” relationships or women he is banging out.

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
3:14 pm

Randyt, I don’t know what to say. LOL

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
3:17 pm

Purple – Sounds like a plan!

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 9th, 2011
3:19 pm

“When the man takes ownership of the women (after she willingly submits to him), the relationship grows higher and higher with increasing value for all parties involved.”

Dayum, Dayum Dayum…and here I thought slavery was abolished! Well roll me up and call me curly! :lol:

SWISS…you are so nasty! :lol:

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
3:20 pm

PR – Not really sure how we even got on the topic…I want to say it started off talking about the fb campaign against Front lace wigs…and how hard it is to find an AA chick that has their own hair. It snow balled into chicks he deals with I suppose.

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 9th, 2011
3:21 pm

PR..this year my girls and I are headed to D.R for my birthday this year. But Italy is my bday trip of 2012. Tuscany looks nice, but of course Venice is on the list…but I want to see Rome. Which one do you think we will enjoy the most?

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
3:25 pm

Black, I would suggest Tuscany for couples, if you are going with your girls and want to party Venice would be better.

Slim, ok I understand. Does the new man know that you talk to your ex?

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
3:25 pm

Venice has great shopping too.

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
3:28 pm

Purple – How is Milan?

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
3:28 pm

@ PR. I was in Rome last year during the World Cup. Wandered in to an Irish Pub (in Rome, go figure). There were a bunch of English tourists there as USA and England were playing and somehow the US tied the game. They were so pizzed that their team that they had had such high expectations for just bombed out in the Cup.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
3:29 pm

Randyt: been around a nuke or two….

I’ve always wanted to go to Greece.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
3:31 pm

ITL I’m on a nuke site as I type this (finished some deliverables this morning). I want to go to the Greek Isles (and swim nekkid like Darryl Hannah did in one of her early movies ;-)

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
3:31 pm

Completely off topic: Yesterday was Margarita Monday. I’m christening today Tipsy Tuesday. May we all go forth and be merry! :)

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
3:32 pm

Really, Randy? Mind if I ask which state you’re in?

That movie is smexy, if you’re referring to the one with the guy from While You Were Sleeping and the other girl with short hair…..

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
3:34 pm

I want to go to Florence and Milan, as well as Tuscany. I’ve only been to Rome in Italy. Walking in to St. Peter’s Basilica and the Vatican are unbelievable. The main room in St. Peter’s is over 400 feet high and the ceiling was painted by Michelangelo.

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
3:36 pm

PR – The topic of me talking to the ex has only came up once of which I’ve told him we talk or had talked (at the time) every once in a while. He has not asked or brought it up since then…plus there was a point in time where his ex was blowing him up on the celly and house phone but for some strange reason, she finally stopped calling. He did tell her he had moved on, so maybe she is either taking the ‘hands off approach, found some other love interest, or just accepted that they are not together. Hell if i know…As far as the ex and I, I have no desire to be with him. We had plenty of time to get it right and I don’t have any urge to waste any more time than I already have on that situation.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
3:37 pm

@ ITL South Carolina right now, but been on most here and in the UK…was the movie “Summer Lovers”? Not great plot but the scenery was really pretty.

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
3:42 pm

Just read an article over on Slate.com about autofe.llatio…..Eeekk!!!

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
3:44 pm

kimmie, Milan reminds me of New York City to be honest. Not saying it is all bad there is a huge dedication to the “arts” there but to me is just to “trendy and busy”

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
3:45 pm

Slim once again I am just asking because I am inquisitive not thinking a certain way. So why do you even talk to him at all?

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
3:45 pm

Ahhh, there’s some good folks in Jenkinsville. If that happens to be where you are…. :)

That was the name of the movie! I saw it a year or so ago on Showtime or HBO… you’re right – terrible plot, but the scenery is gorgeous. I loved the house they stayed in, they way it was set into the hillside….

Creeper

August 9th, 2011
3:45 pm

Personally, I don’t mind a broad picking up the check every now and again. Shows me she is investing in the future success of our proposed merger. Yah Dig!!!

The Reanimated Corpse of I'm Swiss (now with titanium-infused, bionic w@ng)

August 9th, 2011
3:47 pm

“autofe.llatio”

SexyC — See now, in my day, that’s what we called Jager shots. :lol:

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
3:48 pm

SC, yikes! Could be dangerous….

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
3:48 pm

Purp – We’ve known each other for 12 years…we aren’t enemies…so the calls are pretty much a basic, “hows it going type calls”.

Creeper

August 9th, 2011
3:49 pm

If a broad is traveling me with me. The sleeping arrangements HAS been made known b4 a bag is packed. Best believe we aint traveling like BFF’s. On da real!

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
3:49 pm

Um, feeling kind of stupid, but I don’t get the “jager shots” joke…..

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
3:49 pm

@ Slim Nu, talking to exes hits a nerve for me. My transition lover after my divorce said she would never be interested in her ex. We ended breaking up over him. Within a week or two of us breaking up she is sleeping with him , and then stayed with him for the next three years (which she confided in me later was a waste of three years of her life). My last LTR spent the entire night we broke up talking about how great her ex had been (except for the “minor” infidelity issue). This was after saying she would never go back to him.

I am very jaundiced about exes now.

The Reanimated Corpse of I'm Swiss (now with titanium-infused, bionic w@ng)

August 9th, 2011
3:51 pm

ITL — Put enough Jager shots in a chick & you get “automatic fellatio.” :lol:

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
3:53 pm

Purple – Gotcha, just curious. Other than the fashion scene, I’ve not heard as much about it as I have other places in Italy.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
3:53 pm

D’oh. Put Jager shots in me and you get automatic gag reflex! :(

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
3:54 pm

Randy – I can understand that…exes can be a big deal.

Creeper

August 9th, 2011
3:57 pm

Randy, you should be. Don’t let no broad pour her troubles out to you about another dude!! You supposed to make her forget about, ole dude. You supposed to “stroke” the pain away. LOL

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
3:57 pm

kimmie, exactly. I would not recommend Milan.

Slim, thanks for the answers. Do you ever think that may be a hinderance to the future with the new guy?

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
4:01 pm

@Slim NU, both of these breakups were preced by “harmless” calls about the children, that increased and increased until they were a daily thing. But innocent of course. My current lady just sent her most recent boyfriend an email saying no more emails, no more Facebook, etc., that it was hurting her new relationship. I didn’t ask her, she offered it. He would still come over unannounced and end up telling her how he loved her and she was being unfaithful by dating me (even though they broke up several months ago). It was causing me to just sort of back away for awhile each time even though it was innocent.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
4:02 pm

@ Creeper…that was her reason supposedly for telling him no more ;-)

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
4:03 pm

Randyt, sound like your new woman has plans for you and only you. I know her actions made you feel good!

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
4:04 pm

Purp – Nope, not at all. If there is any hinderance in my current situation for the future, it would have nothing at all to do with the ex.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
4:04 pm

PR…yeah. She is awesome.

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
4:05 pm

Slim, but how do youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu know that it is not a hinderance? LOL would your current sit right beside you while you are on the phone with the ex and not have any issue with it at all? (time to have fun it’s after 4pm)

Fion

August 9th, 2011
4:05 pm

@BWM
You make me laugh every time I read your post.You can’t be that mad. lol ,

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
4:06 pm

Randyt, women always say a man will make a “power move” for his lady. But us men know when a lady makes a “power move” for us too. :)

Fion

August 9th, 2011
4:06 pm

My goodness. meant @BMW

czBrat

August 9th, 2011
4:08 pm

reign, we are planning a trip to tuscany in april. my SIL just got back from venice and said it reminded her of the bronx :shock:

speaking of exes, as much as s/o has had a prob with my friendship with an ex, HIS ex has begun asking family members what they think of me because “clearly things are serious between them”. i’ve been told more than once that she may have minor misgivings about having divorced him over financial issues. i’m keeping eyes wide open as to whether or not she might be feeling like she wants another shot. she already seems to be using the kid to get more of his time, attention and funds. oh well. here we go!

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
4:08 pm

“…still come over unannounced and end up telling her how he loved her and she was being unfaithful by dating me (even though they broke up several months ago).” – do you not see a problem with this line of thinking and the possibility that he may snap??

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
4:09 pm

Damn, Venice reminded her of The Bronx. Shiet!

Fion

August 9th, 2011
4:12 pm

@Leggs
That’s what I said. I ain’t been to Venice, but I’ve been to and seen the Bronx.
If that’s true I’m burning my passport.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
4:12 pm

@ Leggs…I have wondered if he would go postal. Apparently he has a bunch of guns. However it is very different killing an animal and killing a human being. Most aren’t wired that way.

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
4:12 pm

CanalZone, it depends on when you go. LOL it can be over crowded somtimes but you just have to get out to the other islands during those times. LOL@ The Bronx.

Creeper

August 9th, 2011
4:14 pm

Randy, man well at least she is setting boundaries, that’s a good sign. But if ole dude try to be a hard head be prepared to let him know what’s up. Get yo respect from the rip and you should not have any problems.

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
4:14 pm

Milan is just like any metro area year round. Venice is fine, except when it gets crowded mostly by people coming on cruise ships. But leave the docking areas and explore.

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
4:15 pm

czB – for some reason, for a lot of folks, the food looks better on someone else’s plate than it did when it was on theirs.

czBrat

August 9th, 2011
4:15 pm

LOL. i know. i was surprised too. i guess i’ve pretty much romanticized italy in it’s entirety in my mind. and that statement, coming from a retired NY finest just don’t inspire confidence. at all.

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
4:16 pm

@RandyT ~ glad to hear it. I don’t dismiss talk like that. That’s a big sign and should never be dismissed. Mental note, front and center!

You just slapped the taste of Venice right out my mouth. I’m not going anywhere close to where I came from. What’s the point of spending that kind of money to see almost the same way of life? NOT!

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 9th, 2011
4:16 pm

FION…..like hell I ain’t!!!! :lol:

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
4:17 pm

Go to Zelarino or Mestre areas of Venice

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
4:17 pm

Get yo respect from the rip and you should not have any problems.

Worth repeating!

Fion

August 9th, 2011
4:17 pm

@CzBratz
I know Venice is an old city 12th century (I think), but the Bronx!

cba

August 9th, 2011
4:18 pm

Randyt, I took a continuing ed class in nuclear construction a few months ago. We were told there was no internet access while you are in the plant. One of our instructors worked at the plant in SC. I don’t know how many or which plant in SC. He’s a chemist by trade but that’s not his current position. I really like the guy, he’s around 60.

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
4:19 pm

PR – How would it be a hinderance when I hardly ever talk to the ex? I’m with the beau almost 3 to 6 days out of the week. When I’m with him, my phone is not hidden so he can clearly see who is calling, etc. He would sit beside me if I were on the phone with exman, as I’ve been next to him when he spoke with his ex. And he also let me know that even during the times his ex was blowing him, that he did talk to her. Btw, how does this constitute as ‘fun’?

Just like Evelyn told Tammi, the ex is a non-mfing factor :lol:

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
4:20 pm

@ cba…no Internet inside restricted areas. I’m in an office building. Still should not be blogging, but I’m tired and I’m caught up.

@ PR…L’italia è un paese meraviglioso.

czBrat

August 9th, 2011
4:22 pm

you’re right SC. i guess what bugs me about that way of thinking is that i’m a “when i’m done, i’m DONE!” kinda gal. i can maintain a friendship with no desire to revisit where i’ve already been. i don’t get folks who have a change of heart because “hmmm. maybe you weren’t so bad after all.”

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
4:23 pm

Slim, because I am about to take the conversation in a different direction, put your claws up.

czBrat

August 9th, 2011
4:23 pm

that makes sense, reign. they went on one of those perillo tours out of NYC. must be absolute droves of tourists crawling all over everything at the same damn time. like alien ants!

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
4:24 pm

@PR ~ I thought along the same lines with her phrasing it the way she did (lol)…

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
4:26 pm

Randyt,Sei molto gentile….sono italiano :)

czBrat

August 9th, 2011
4:27 pm

it makes perfect sense, though. i can honestly say that, as beautiful as panama is, if you visit the caribbean coastal port where all the cruise ships dock and where they have the duty free shopping it’s a friggin nightmare. thieves everywhere preying on tourists. i would NEVER!

Creeper

August 9th, 2011
4:27 pm

SlimNu-yo mind is playing tricks on you….jedi mind tricks to be specfic. LOL

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
4:27 pm

he also let me know that even during the times his ex was blowing him :shock:

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
4:28 pm

CZ, Leggs if the ship leaves from NYC and goes there….there is nothing but NYC’ers around you when you get there. LOL

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
4:28 pm

And he also let me know that even during the times his ex was blowing him, that he did talk to her

um…i meant to say, times his ex was blowing up his phone…not blowing him :shock: :lol: Surprised no one else caught that hehehehe

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
4:29 pm

That’s what I’m talking about, ITL.

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
4:30 pm

We knew what you were saying, SlimNu, or rather what you didn’t say.

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
4:31 pm

Slim, see that is how it starts. A simple blowing. LOL

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
4:31 pm

@SlimNu~ I think everyone caught it but left it alone!

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
4:31 pm

Baby my ex blowing me means nothing….I love YOU!

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
4:32 pm

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
4:32 pm

Sorry, couldn’t resist. It’s after 4 and it’s Tipsy Tuesday. Where’s Dreams? Ho bisogno di bere…

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
4:32 pm

Leggs, yeah I mean they may have a free blowing relationship. Who knows? LOL

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
4:33 pm

As long as no one head gets blown off. Wait, that too doesn’t sound right. Nevamind…

sandy

August 9th, 2011
4:34 pm

Man pays early on. We women spend a lot of money on our hair, make-up, clothes, accessories to b e attractive to you, whereas most of you fellas throw on anything and spend 15 minutes tops getting ready, but it takes me an hour. So, it is fair for the man to pay the money on the food/drinks, because I paid the money to look good and paid the time to look good. That said I start throwing in money after a few dates because it is just rude not to. But don’t whine, fellas…we put a lot into it that you are not thinking about.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
4:34 pm

LOL@Leggs. Didn’t Swiss address that earlier?

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
4:35 pm

…and I remembered that you are.

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
4:36 pm

Okay, yall got me on that one… :lol:

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
4:36 pm

oh we caught it…just assumed his ex was blowing him and you didn’t mind. ;-)

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
4:37 pm

whereas most of you fellas throw on anything and spend 15 minutes tops getting ready

I’m gonna have to defend the guys on this one. MOST of the men I know, at least for the first couple of dates, make sure that the car is detailed, hair is freshly cut, and clothes came out of the cleaners that day.

czBrat

August 9th, 2011
4:37 pm

oh we caught it…just assumed his ex was blowing him and you didn’t mind
exactly!
:lol:

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
4:38 pm

@ITL…right. I swear I have changed three or four times on the first date sometimes, trying to make it the right look.

czBrat

August 9th, 2011
4:39 pm

most of you fellas throw on anything and spend 15 minutes tops getting ready,
i may have to chalk this one up to being naive but, really??

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
4:39 pm

No offense but to say a man should pay for food and drinks just because a woman spends X amount of time getting ready sounds a bit juvenile. Spend an hour beautifying yourself, just because you want to look good. But hey, do whatever tickles your pickle

meanwhile back at the ranch, slims beau is getting blowed by his ex

Creeper

August 9th, 2011
4:40 pm

Sandy-I hear yah. Any self respecting, professional man, puts effort into getting prepared for a date. As for me, I get weekly hair cuts, the whip is always spotless, clothes laudered and shoes shined to perfection cause I care about how I look. Don’t know what type of fellas you are used to but not everyone is “ready roll”.

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
4:41 pm

@RandyT ~ can you leave the EOD. I’m tired, hungry and bored!

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
4:41 pm

:) I think that’s nice, Randy. I can’t speak for Sandy, but I’m used to men who take time with their appearance…. and smell SOOOOO good. :)

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
4:42 pm

“ready roll” ….ha!!

Creeper

August 9th, 2011
4:44 pm

Into the Light–It’s nice to know that the Ladies appreciate a sharp dressed brother, like myself.

czBrat

August 9th, 2011
4:45 pm

ciao all!
get home safely :)

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
4:45 pm

EOD…may be too long but my son was feeling down last week and I sent him this…

Dare Greatly
It is not the critic who counts; nor the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcomings; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best knows in the end, the triumph of high achievement; and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.

~ Theodore Roosevelt (1858–1919)

Celisea

August 9th, 2011
4:47 pm

Okay I’m confused….ITL….are you a woman or man? Just asking. Not being smart or funny. Your posts aren’t overtly manly or womanly.

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
4:48 pm

Sandy well you have to date guys that pull their pants up and don’t wear air force ones out to dinner at AppleBee’s… Does the guy ever offer you a #3 Super Sized?

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
4:48 pm

I know I do, Creeper!

Creeper

August 9th, 2011
4:49 pm

DANG!…LMAO.

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
4:49 pm

@RandyT ~ awwww nevamind (lol)!

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
4:50 pm

Buona sera, ciao.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
4:50 pm

Celisea: woman

Me, too, Leggs!!

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
4:50 pm

That’s very encouraging to send to your son!

Celisea

August 9th, 2011
4:51 pm

Purple Purple Purple – You’re on a pimp roll I see today.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
4:51 pm

Purp, ask her if she pays for her own cheese….. :)

Creeper

August 9th, 2011
4:51 pm

It’s all in the upbringing. My moms always said…”Nobody wants a rust azz, stanking man…Nobody” LOL Thank Moms.

Creeper

August 9th, 2011
4:52 pm

My Pops was the sharpest dude on the block. He taught us well.

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
4:53 pm

Creeper – I have not heard the phrase “ready roll” in YEARS!!! OMG – that so brought back memories of my grandmother. Thank you so much!

For Real

August 9th, 2011
4:53 pm

i know i’m late but i can resist.

slim and her new dude:

Slim: Snow bunny what you got planned tonight?

New Dude: Um nothing much Jangga Lang, except the ex is coming over to blow me.

Slim: Well, you be careful now cause I seen your ex teeth.

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
4:54 pm

ForReal – my fave comedian. Dude, seriously, you have missed your calling. You should be a comedy writer. For real…

Sassy Me ;-)

August 9th, 2011
4:55 pm

Totally off topic: I watched the finale of Thirsty Baskeball chicks last night and as SOON AS I saw Eric n Jen I thought about you ladies and laughed til I cried :mrgreen:

Creeper

August 9th, 2011
4:56 pm

Sexy, my grandmother was good for sayings like that. LOL

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
4:56 pm

@ForReal ~ apparently you CAN’T resist. :wink:

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
4:57 pm

I thought her divorce party and the cake was very distateful!!!

Alabama Guy

August 9th, 2011
4:59 pm

I once dated someone for a long time and during the entire time we basically split the costs of whatever we did. She established the ground rules on the second date when she reached for the check over my protest. She calmly stated “I make as much money as you and I am paying the check.” The pattern evolved that we alternated picking up the check, not on a strict one for one basis but it balanced out overall. One particular trip she paid for the airfare and I picked up the hotel then we worked our regular routine on drinks and meals. She took me on a trip to the islands, paying for the entire trip and the next year I carried her to London. Many of my female friends were aghast that I did not pay for everything, all of the time. However, the result of our arrangement was that we got to do twice as many things as we would have if I had been the sole financier of our times together. That is the bottom line, sharing the expenses allows a couple to do more together. It is not a matter of right and wrong but just a practical approach to dating.

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
5:00 pm

That’s what I’m talking about Alabama Guy! Good for you!

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
5:00 pm

@ Alabama Guy…well stated.

Sassy Me ;-)

August 9th, 2011
5:01 pm

I thought her divorce party and the cake was very distateful

Yeah she should’ve waited to have the party and sooooo could’ve done without that cake but it made her feel better…

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
5:01 pm

O/T – I *hate* a too talkative interviewee. Sheesh…shutdahellup already.

For Real

August 9th, 2011
5:02 pm

RandyT: I like that quote. My football coach use to use that at halftime when we were behind. Afterwards we were ready to run through a wall for coach. Imma run through one for old time sake.

For Real now regretting running into the wall.

Sassy Me ;-)

August 9th, 2011
5:03 pm

That is the bottom line, sharing the expenses allows a couple to do more together. It is not a matter of right and wrong but just a practical approach to dating

worth repeating…

Have a great evening folks!!!!

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
5:03 pm

LOL@SC. Did (s)he get the nervous ramble going???

Creeper

August 9th, 2011
5:04 pm

Alabama Guy- I would be open for that. However, the key would be to find a broad that was willing to FULLY cooperate, not just when it was financially convenient.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
5:05 pm

@ For Real…bravery tempered with forethought…safer. ;-)

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
5:05 pm

ITL – I just want to tear my damn hair out right now. She is a cross between nerves and know-it-all and trying too hard to demonstrate that she is a match.

For Real

August 9th, 2011
5:06 pm

What ScooL and Leggs. I saw where y’all was talking about traveling. Europe is nice well at least the spots that have not been overran by tourist. The one thing I learned from traveling is the more time you spend with the locals the better time you will have.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
5:06 pm

For Real, you are too funny! My co-workers are wondering what the french I’m cracking up about….

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
5:07 pm

@Creeper ~ calling a woman a “broad” is a No No!

Creeper

August 9th, 2011
5:08 pm

The bottom line for me is this: If you can’t afford to date then DON’T date. That goes for dudes and broads.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
5:08 pm

Ooooohhhhh noooooo….. That is the worst, SC. Then they start doing the “pageant contestant” answers. “I think I would be a great fit for this company because this company needs people who are a great fit. And I know that I am a great fit.” or something equally nauseating…..

Creeper

August 9th, 2011
5:09 pm

Leggs-Ok, did not mean to offend.

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
5:10 pm

Don’t get me wrong, although I did have a divorce party, I didn’t have it in front of America humiliating the ex!

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
5:10 pm

Thank you, sir!!!

For Real

August 9th, 2011
5:11 pm

“bravery tempered with forethought…safer.” – Agreed but I haven’t heard that in such a long time it just brought back memories of my gridiron days and me feeling invincible.

For Real now thinking about jogging home for old time sake. 90 degree with a heat index of 105 degrees??? For Real now slapping the ish out himself.

Creeper

August 9th, 2011
5:11 pm

Divorce Party=definately a woman thing.

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
5:13 pm

@Creeper – no doubt!

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
5:14 pm

Must go change into gym clothes.

Hope you all have a great evening!

PEACE!

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
5:14 pm

You, too, Leggs! :)

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
5:15 pm

@ For Real, my son is one of those who know no limits and that if he can believe it he can achieve it…so he always reaches for the stars, always. He had a setback last week and I thought about this quote and how it is better to give it all and fail than to never know victory OR defeat. I like it too.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
5:16 pm

I liked it, too, Randyt. Good EOD.

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
5:19 pm

Creeper – I say dude A LOT…broad doesn’t bother me at all. (lol)

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
5:21 pm

Broad probably doesn’t bother a lot of women. Since it has such a negative connotation to it, it bothers me. Women weren’t respected yesteryear and calling a woman a broad was akin to calling a woman a heifer (IMO)!

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
5:23 pm

Leggs – I say heifer a lot too. (lol)

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
5:25 pm

I say heifer, too!! LOL

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
5:27 pm

How about “dame”? You don’t hear that one anymore, except in old movies or as an English title (Dame Judi Dench).

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
5:29 pm

Naw…don’t use that one.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
5:33 pm

I’m still laughing about ready roll…..

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
5:36 pm

Where are the broads?

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
5:47 pm

ITL – My g/m used to used that phrase in reference to someone who looked like they just jumped out of bed and hit the door, not meeting with water, no soap, no toothbrush, nothing.

Hummmm

August 9th, 2011
5:57 pm

Yep….WOMEN PAY….PAY YO AZZ NO MIND!

Jerry Waters

August 9th, 2011
6:01 pm

I will pay for dinner and give you a bath!

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
6:02 pm

Yep! Slept in their clothes to save time in the morning. LOL

Hello

August 10th, 2011
7:28 am

Seriously, do you want to get laid. . come on man.