accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Should women offer to pay?

I received an email from a guy who is dating someone older than he is. He pursued her in the beginning and didn’t take issue with paying. Now that they are in an exclusive relationship, he expected her to offer to reciprocate more.

Since she supposedly makes more money then he does (he doesn’t know for sure), he wonders if not offering to pay is a sign of selfishness. He is apprehensive about bringing the topic up because he doesn’t want to come across as cheap. How should he handle it?

Do you think that women should offer to pay more often? Is it something men are expecting us to do in the early stages of dating?

When there is a difference in income, how do you navigate dating so that it is balanced and fair?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

419 comments Add your comment

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
2:58 pm

@ cba and ITL Not too high. Haven’t been in a rad zone in awhile now, doing the financial end now mostly. Actually the only real measurable dose I ever got was in a junk yard in Oak Ridge and not even doing rad stuff. Strange.

Time and distance is what is important with rad…I watch, count and move the hellz away if I get uncomfortable.

The Reanimated Corpse of I'm Swiss (now with titanium-infused, bionic w@ng)

August 9th, 2011
2:59 pm

Randy — I don’t doubt it (the radioactive dog poop). Yeah, Los Alamos Labs & UNM are both clients of ours, so I’ve had to make a couple trips out there. Just not my cup of tea, I guess.

Dynamic

August 9th, 2011
2:59 pm

@ Swiss Mmm mmm mmm, that lil’ mama sexed me into submission on that trip —

Am I the only perve that wanted details??? :)

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
2:59 pm

@ITL ~ my gf and I are looking at a package from Groupon back to Southbeach. She’s used them before and had no problems.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
3:02 pm

I just received an email from them with a picture of Costa Rica that is too beautiful! Calgon, take me away…. LOL

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
3:04 pm

@ Button…have thousands of pictures. One’s luggage is curtailed (or very expensive) on EasyJet and Ryannair. One can get to most anyplace in Western Europe in a couple of hours. I was coming back from Paris last year when I was chosen to be searched. There was a great looking French lady there doing the female searches and I laughed and said I wished she was searching me. She laughed and said “he must be an American”.

The Reanimated Corpse of I'm Swiss (now with titanium-infused, bionic w@ng)

August 9th, 2011
3:04 pm

“Am I the only perve that wanted details???”

Had you been there & been watching the hot tub by the main pool closely, you could have seen the details. Or the cabana by the beach. Or our balcony. Or the sauna. :lol:

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
3:05 pm

Purple – One of my coworkers from a few years ago did that. Tuscany, I think was nearby. Her brother-in-law was from there and had family still there. So she & her sister spent about 10 days in this little italian village and lived among the natives. She had a blast.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
3:07 pm

I watch, count and move the hellz away if I get uncomfortable.

Don’t you review the dose rate before entering the contaminated area and set and wear an alarming dosimeter to track?

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
3:08 pm

Slim you talk to your ex still?

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
3:10 pm

kimmie, i have tons of family still there and so does my wife so it will even be better now! Just know that you are going to eat eat and eat some more. And your husband would either have to play soccer with us or discuss motorsports! :)

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
3:10 pm

Yeah, but mostly just the TLDs that are checked later. Saw soem readings in a lab on Long Island taht scared me a little. I always had a dose meter or something like it with me so I was alwasys monitoruing real time. You seem very educated about these PEP instruments, etc.,…what is your background?

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
3:11 pm

Purp – Every once in a lime green moon…

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
3:12 pm

PR, I’m jealous. I love Italy.

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
3:12 pm

Actually the majority of both of our families are not in the States, LOL

Slim, why? Not trying to go anywhere with it I was just wondering why you do and why yall talk about “his” relationships or women he is banging out.

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
3:14 pm

Randyt, I don’t know what to say. LOL

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
3:17 pm

Purple – Sounds like a plan!

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 9th, 2011
3:19 pm

“When the man takes ownership of the women (after she willingly submits to him), the relationship grows higher and higher with increasing value for all parties involved.”

Dayum, Dayum Dayum…and here I thought slavery was abolished! Well roll me up and call me curly! :lol:

SWISS…you are so nasty! :lol:

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
3:20 pm

PR – Not really sure how we even got on the topic…I want to say it started off talking about the fb campaign against Front lace wigs…and how hard it is to find an AA chick that has their own hair. It snow balled into chicks he deals with I suppose.

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 9th, 2011
3:21 pm

PR..this year my girls and I are headed to D.R for my birthday this year. But Italy is my bday trip of 2012. Tuscany looks nice, but of course Venice is on the list…but I want to see Rome. Which one do you think we will enjoy the most?

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
3:25 pm

Black, I would suggest Tuscany for couples, if you are going with your girls and want to party Venice would be better.

Slim, ok I understand. Does the new man know that you talk to your ex?

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
3:25 pm

Venice has great shopping too.

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
3:28 pm

Purple – How is Milan?

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
3:28 pm

@ PR. I was in Rome last year during the World Cup. Wandered in to an Irish Pub (in Rome, go figure). There were a bunch of English tourists there as USA and England were playing and somehow the US tied the game. They were so pizzed that their team that they had had such high expectations for just bombed out in the Cup.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
3:29 pm

Randyt: been around a nuke or two….

I’ve always wanted to go to Greece.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
3:31 pm

ITL I’m on a nuke site as I type this (finished some deliverables this morning). I want to go to the Greek Isles (and swim nekkid like Darryl Hannah did in one of her early movies ;-)

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
3:31 pm

Completely off topic: Yesterday was Margarita Monday. I’m christening today Tipsy Tuesday. May we all go forth and be merry! :)

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
3:32 pm

Really, Randy? Mind if I ask which state you’re in?

That movie is smexy, if you’re referring to the one with the guy from While You Were Sleeping and the other girl with short hair…..

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
3:34 pm

I want to go to Florence and Milan, as well as Tuscany. I’ve only been to Rome in Italy. Walking in to St. Peter’s Basilica and the Vatican are unbelievable. The main room in St. Peter’s is over 400 feet high and the ceiling was painted by Michelangelo.

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
3:36 pm

PR – The topic of me talking to the ex has only came up once of which I’ve told him we talk or had talked (at the time) every once in a while. He has not asked or brought it up since then…plus there was a point in time where his ex was blowing him up on the celly and house phone but for some strange reason, she finally stopped calling. He did tell her he had moved on, so maybe she is either taking the ‘hands off approach, found some other love interest, or just accepted that they are not together. Hell if i know…As far as the ex and I, I have no desire to be with him. We had plenty of time to get it right and I don’t have any urge to waste any more time than I already have on that situation.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
3:37 pm

@ ITL South Carolina right now, but been on most here and in the UK…was the movie “Summer Lovers”? Not great plot but the scenery was really pretty.

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
3:42 pm

Just read an article over on Slate.com about autofe.llatio…..Eeekk!!!

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
3:44 pm

kimmie, Milan reminds me of New York City to be honest. Not saying it is all bad there is a huge dedication to the “arts” there but to me is just to “trendy and busy”

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
3:45 pm

Slim once again I am just asking because I am inquisitive not thinking a certain way. So why do you even talk to him at all?

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
3:45 pm

Ahhh, there’s some good folks in Jenkinsville. If that happens to be where you are…. :)

That was the name of the movie! I saw it a year or so ago on Showtime or HBO… you’re right – terrible plot, but the scenery is gorgeous. I loved the house they stayed in, they way it was set into the hillside….

Creeper

August 9th, 2011
3:45 pm

Personally, I don’t mind a broad picking up the check every now and again. Shows me she is investing in the future success of our proposed merger. Yah Dig!!!

The Reanimated Corpse of I'm Swiss (now with titanium-infused, bionic w@ng)

August 9th, 2011
3:47 pm

“autofe.llatio”

SexyC — See now, in my day, that’s what we called Jager shots. :lol:

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
3:48 pm

SC, yikes! Could be dangerous….

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
3:48 pm

Purp – We’ve known each other for 12 years…we aren’t enemies…so the calls are pretty much a basic, “hows it going type calls”.

Creeper

August 9th, 2011
3:49 pm

If a broad is traveling me with me. The sleeping arrangements HAS been made known b4 a bag is packed. Best believe we aint traveling like BFF’s. On da real!

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
3:49 pm

Um, feeling kind of stupid, but I don’t get the “jager shots” joke…..

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
3:49 pm

@ Slim Nu, talking to exes hits a nerve for me. My transition lover after my divorce said she would never be interested in her ex. We ended breaking up over him. Within a week or two of us breaking up she is sleeping with him , and then stayed with him for the next three years (which she confided in me later was a waste of three years of her life). My last LTR spent the entire night we broke up talking about how great her ex had been (except for the “minor” infidelity issue). This was after saying she would never go back to him.

I am very jaundiced about exes now.

The Reanimated Corpse of I'm Swiss (now with titanium-infused, bionic w@ng)

August 9th, 2011
3:51 pm

ITL — Put enough Jager shots in a chick & you get “automatic fellatio.” :lol:

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
3:53 pm

Purple – Gotcha, just curious. Other than the fashion scene, I’ve not heard as much about it as I have other places in Italy.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
3:53 pm

D’oh. Put Jager shots in me and you get automatic gag reflex! :(

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
3:54 pm

Randy – I can understand that…exes can be a big deal.

Creeper

August 9th, 2011
3:57 pm

Randy, you should be. Don’t let no broad pour her troubles out to you about another dude!! You supposed to make her forget about, ole dude. You supposed to “stroke” the pain away. LOL

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
3:57 pm

kimmie, exactly. I would not recommend Milan.

Slim, thanks for the answers. Do you ever think that may be a hinderance to the future with the new guy?

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
4:01 pm

@Slim NU, both of these breakups were preced by “harmless” calls about the children, that increased and increased until they were a daily thing. But innocent of course. My current lady just sent her most recent boyfriend an email saying no more emails, no more Facebook, etc., that it was hurting her new relationship. I didn’t ask her, she offered it. He would still come over unannounced and end up telling her how he loved her and she was being unfaithful by dating me (even though they broke up several months ago). It was causing me to just sort of back away for awhile each time even though it was innocent.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
4:02 pm

@ Creeper…that was her reason supposedly for telling him no more ;-)