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Should women offer to pay?

I received an email from a guy who is dating someone older than he is. He pursued her in the beginning and didn’t take issue with paying. Now that they are in an exclusive relationship, he expected her to offer to reciprocate more.

Since she supposedly makes more money then he does (he doesn’t know for sure), he wonders if not offering to pay is a sign of selfishness. He is apprehensive about bringing the topic up because he doesn’t want to come across as cheap. How should he handle it?

Do you think that women should offer to pay more often? Is it something men are expecting us to do in the early stages of dating?

When there is a difference in income, how do you navigate dating so that it is balanced and fair?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

419 comments Add your comment

Willie Dynamite

August 9th, 2011
2:23 pm

vacation, road trips, weekend away etc. If i ask I assume total fiscal responsibility up front. Then again i’m not asking until we have already somewhat progressed in our relationship so to speak.

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
2:24 pm

cheese is based on her performance.

:lol:

Button

August 9th, 2011
2:24 pm

@ Purple Some woman are just too tooo…….

I have gf’s that will pay for a mule if the guy lets her. I shake my head and lol at them, and will brag about it…smh

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
2:24 pm

Leggs, lol If I invite a woman on a trip we have already had sex before.

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
2:24 pm

@PR ~ your 2:17 is a given that if they want to go, they would pay their own way and secure their own room.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:25 pm

sn: I don’t know why, Fion, but when I read you, I hear Terrence Howard in my head….. “aye man”

Button

August 9th, 2011
2:25 pm

Leggs wow at your friend.

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
2:26 pm

Purple – Same here, if I’m agreeing to go away with you, then we’ve done the do before, so that’s not even an issue.

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
2:26 pm

Well, they did PR, but it was decades ago (lol).

Fion

August 9th, 2011
2:27 pm

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
2:27 pm

Fion that #3 Super Sized is just for her, I don’t eat fast food. LOL if I take her to Applebee’s she may get the wrong impression. Besides she only eats after the deed is done, take her to the drive thru and she can eat that #3 Super Sized on the way to me taking her home or the bus stop.

The Reanimated Corpse of I'm Swiss (now with titanium-infused, bionic w@ng)

August 9th, 2011
2:28 pm

“Don’t drink too much…we wouldn’t want anything to explode before you get a chance to allow her to make you explode”

No danger of that, Slim. We make sure to have regular releases to alleviate pressure on the floodgates. :lol:

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
2:28 pm

@button ~ Yep!

cba

August 9th, 2011
2:29 pm

Man, I’m lucky to have married the woman i’m with. Lucky because we were both 24(actually I was 3 wks from 24) and were not analyzing every single aspects of “what if”. Like Dreams posted, its not that complicated if you pitch your product to a target audience. Or, as my grandma would say, you need to be cut from the same quilt.

Fion

August 9th, 2011
2:29 pm

@Purp

You know you crazy, right?

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:29 pm

I agree with Kimmie. If my SO and I are going away for the weekend, the sleeping arrangement is already understood.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
2:30 pm

Hey Kimmie. Thanks. I love Europe. When I am in the UK for more than a week, I am almost always hopping an EasyJet or Ryannair to somewhere in Europe. For food and just being “comfortable”, then Barcelona and the Med coast are awesome. Great food, great sights, and history, then go to Paris. To party hard and drink gallons of beer then Dublin, scotch go to Edinburgh. Its all great. I still haven’t been to Amsterdam although I have flown into it several times and changed planes. For the best food on Earth, then Rome or anywhere in Italy.

I’m so ready to get on a plane again.

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
2:30 pm

kimmie, exactly.

Leggs your friend probably did the do with him before they went. I don’t know of any normal 9 to 5 guy that is going to ask a woman on a trip like that without at small sample before hand.

I’m old school, if she gives good head and has a nice set of tittays we can travel!

Fion

August 9th, 2011
2:30 pm

Madam since we are discussing financial arrangements, can we discuss leasing
with an Option to Buy???

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
2:31 pm

cba – SayItAgain.com

(lol)

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:31 pm

LOL @ PR. I think there’s a Diceman monologue in there somewhere…..

cba, your grandma is wise! I’ve always liked that saying…

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
2:31 pm

Fion, not to mention if I take her to Applebee’s that would mean I would have to sit there and watch/listen to her eat and talk. My affection is not that deep for a fling. LOL

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
2:32 pm

ITL, that is all Purp. :)

Button

August 9th, 2011
2:32 pm

Randyt you get around eh?

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
2:32 pm

If I’m going away for the weekend with someone, he is already my SO and a sleeping arrangement question is unnecessary.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:35 pm

Purp, you are too funny!! Tell the truth, you’ve got on your Purple Pimp amethyst medallion and big gold rope chain today, don’t you??? :)

Fion

August 9th, 2011
2:35 pm

Hey everybody hang back for minute, let Button and Randyt walk ahead.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
2:36 pm

@ Button…sometimes. Domestic and International. Mostly business, but they know my weekends are off limits. I hit the road early on trips…plenty of time for sleep on the other side of the tombstone ;-)

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
2:39 pm

ITL, no hat just a purple suit and my hair in shirley temple curls today. LOL

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
2:40 pm

Randyt – I want to go to Italy and see the Mediterranean SO BAD!! We are saving for Hawaii next summer, then we’ve agreed that Europe is next!

Button

August 9th, 2011
2:40 pm

That’s really cool Randyt. I like a well traveled man, it speaks volumn, all the stories, so do you have a lot of souvenis? My bf is well traveled also, I enjoy hearing his travel stories.

kimmie

August 9th, 2011
2:41 pm

plenty of time for sleep on the other side of the tombstone

Randyt – That’s what I say! I’m constantly on the go and love it! Sleep later!

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:42 pm

Purp: On the good ship, Lollipop…… :)

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
2:42 pm

No Fion I don’t walk in front of anyone. ;-) I’m just a country kid who has travel in my DNA, certainly nothing special, just equally at home wearing full contamination gear in a radiation zone in Albuquerce, wearing a tuxedo and having formal dinners in skyscrapers in Manhattan, or jumping a subway in some capital in Europe. A long way from Hawkins County Tennessee ;-) .

Purple Reign

August 9th, 2011
2:42 pm

kimmie, you should go to Italy with my family we go twice a year. Experience the real Italy and not the tourist stuff.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:43 pm

Randyt: I’m trying to imagine where/why you would need full dress-out in Albequerqe….

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
2:45 pm

and #3 Super-sized from McDonalds….cheese is based on her performance

I almost choked on my kit kat :lol: Dayum boo, can I pay for the cheese? lol

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:45 pm

SexyCool

August 9th, 2011
2:45 pm

RAndy – Fion meant let us all hang back so that the two of you could get to know each other.

The Reanimated Corpse of I'm Swiss (now with titanium-infused, bionic w@ng)

August 9th, 2011
2:47 pm

ITL — Albuquerque was the contamination gear, not the formalwear. There’s that big nuclear research facility in Los Alamos, not far away, so lots of nuclear waste in New Mexico. Had the misfortune of spending a couple of weeks there for work last summer. Wasn’t impressed…. :lol:

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
2:47 pm

Italy is great Kimmie. A tad humid in Rome, but when you walk the same paths as the Caesars did 2000 years ago, eat seafood pasta to die for, and walk into the Coliseum in Rome and realize that during the 100 day games, 10,000 gladiators/slaves/wild animals might meet in the Arena. You get the feeling our country was just purchased two weeks ago at WalMart. Awesome. Hawaii is nice…i ahven’t been in many years but Maui is till probably the most beautiful place I’ve ever been.

Leggs

August 9th, 2011
2:48 pm

@PR ~ naw, they didn’t sample…he lives in Hawaii and she lives here. That would be the first time they’ve seen each other in years!

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
2:49 pm

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:50 pm

Full dress out is the same as full contamination gear to me. Wasn’t even thinking of Los Alamos (V-8 slap to the forehead). Duh!

The Reanimated Corpse of I'm Swiss (now with titanium-infused, bionic w@ng)

August 9th, 2011
2:52 pm

Oh, and didn’t mean to butt in on the convo there re: Albuquerque… But every time I hear mention of that place I feel the need to b!tch about it. :lol:

Randy — I’m with you on Maui. Not much in the way of night life, but absolutely beautiful — and pretty much every kind of climate you can imagine, all within a day’s drive.

cba

August 9th, 2011
2:53 pm

So Randyt, what’s your rem count for this year?

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:53 pm

And what’s your lifetime dose? (couldn’t resist piggy-backing on your question, cba)

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 9th, 2011
2:53 pm

@ Swiss, I surveyed radioactive dog poop (seriously) on the back side of Kirkland AFB and Sandia labs. Went to the “largest flea market” in the SW there. Every third booth had bongs, waterpipes, and rolling papers. I thought I had walked through a time warp back to the ’70s. The hot air balloon festival in October there is spectacular though. Been to Los Alamos a number of times.

Into the Light

August 9th, 2011
2:56 pm

Back to the travel topic: Has anyone ever purchased a vacation package from Groupon Getaways? Some of these deals look pretty amazing….

SlimNu

August 9th, 2011
2:57 pm

My ex was talking about he isn’t looking for a relationship or anything from the chicks he deals with. So some how the topic of them spending the night came up and he was like, ain’t nobody spending the night. I said, well they are good enough to bang out but not enough to let them stay all night. He was like, for whatever reason he just isn’t into them by the time the sun comes up. It’s almost an irritant to have them there when he wakes up. So i asked how does he go about getting them to leave and he responded with something to the effect of having something to do in the morning. I was like fool, you ain’t got no job, so are they really believing that? He had me cracking up. He even went on to say there is this chick that wants to come over, eat drink, smoke then fck…he was like dayum, can she just smoke and fck. WOW! The mind of guys :shock: