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Dating is not project management

I happened to catch a snippet of the Frank and Wanda radio show on TV the other night. I paused when I heard them describe men in Atlanta as Ikea Men, i.e. men you have to “put together” or assemble.

Apparently one of the callers had used this term and it caused a couple of laughs, but it kind of saddened me. I have a sense of humor, of course, but I was most bothered by the idea that some women in Atlanta consider dating to be some kind of project management.

Do you think that calling men projects or Ikea men is the way to a man’s heart?! I don’t get it. Whatever happened to, you know,
simply accepting a person for who they are – not who you want them to be?

What’s really sad is that women who don’t feel this way have to contend with this later. They have already met the women in Atlanta that goes around calling them Ikea Men. The type that made them feel less than just makes them bitter for the next woman. Am I the only one that sees this annoying trend?

It probably would be funny if it wasn’t so ridiculously frustrating to encounter men have dated those egomaniacal women and expect the same treatment.

I don’t want to point fingers and go on a scream tour of who’s to blame, but how do we get past it?

When you encounter people with bad attitudes and unhealthy views about relationships, how do you handle it?

Do you cut your losses and save your energy for someone who sees things the way you do?

If men in Atlanta are projects that have to be together, what do you think that makes women? Bob the Builder? Yeah, that’s sexy.

216 comments Add your comment

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Leggs

August 8th, 2011
8:30 am

Good morning!

Thanks to back to school, I’m at my desk. I is FIRST…..

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
8:33 am

Now, on to the topic. Ms. WD, we talked about “IKEA” men when they talked about it on V103 a few weeks back. Unfortunately, although the term is somewhat comical, at best it is sad. Many men have so many excuses as to why they don’t want to date. There seems to be so many projects being worked on that they don’t have time to date. And by projects, I mean excuses. From working on moving out of parents’ home, to waiting on that job interview to come through, to being in between jobs, to wanting to date, but don’t have the financial means to date. There’s a plethora of reasons. Dating is nothing like it used to be, but really what is???

RealLife

August 8th, 2011
8:34 am

Sorry, but that’s the way it is in the real world. The most dedireable women (ie, most physically attractive) really have all the power. They do the choosing. Men are just scrambling behind them like rats in a maze. They change, conform, read about what makes a man the most attractive to women and conform again. Just like other women, if they think that they can’t get the upper tier women (we’re just talking physically), then they feel like they just settle (just like women do) and take the good with the bad. Women change, conform, apply make up, wear sexy clothes just like men do in their world. It’s a vicious cycle and it will never change. Upper tier: Women that are knockouts and good looking men that have a great bank account and willing to spend it on the upper tier women because the think they deserve it. Second tier: Moderately attractive women that have a lot on the ball with personality and otherwise. Same for men. Third tier: The unattractive, overwieght and really average to below average personality and not much on the ball.

RealLife

August 8th, 2011
8:38 am

In some instances a mid to lower tier man or woman can elevate themselves by: Woman-have an incredible body or gorgeous face and Man: Be insanely wealthy. However, both of these can be downgraded rapidly if the knockout has a psycho or arrogant personality because of her self perceived good looks. This women will leave you for whoever has a nicer car, bigger house or fatter wallet. Be careful because this women will wield her looks and sexy persona like a samouri sword to get what she wants. The man can be down graded because of his arrogance (money) and the belief that this money will get him anything and anyone. More times than not, this type of man is a “user” and blows through women like he does socks. Women that flock to this man get what they deserver.

Sweet Pea

August 8th, 2011
8:41 am

Good Morning!

I’m not in the dating arena where I’m around other women that speak of such. We all(men/women) have areas in life that have shortcomings. However, I will say to not waste your time with someone where there’s no common interests and negative views about relationships for the most part. It’s one thing to introduce someone whose stuck in the 70s and still wearing clothes from that era to a modern look so they can look dapper. However, if you have an unrealistic list and trying to configure a Mr Robot into what you desire then perhaps you should go back to the drawing board and draft a plan for SELF, e.g. a new hobby or join social groups that could possibly attract someone with common interest.

JASon

August 8th, 2011
8:42 am

“Whatever happened to, you know, simply accepting a person for who they are – not who you want them to be?”

Of course this is how it should be, but this is how it will never be. Women will always be looking to change men they are in a relationship with. In a related note, I am finding the single life to be quite charming.

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
8:43 am

Good morning all….and a special shout out to my sis on her graduation this weekend. Woo hoo hooo!!!!

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
8:47 am

@JaSon ~ there are men who seek to change the woman as well. All I can say, is there are too many excuses in the dating world. Seems like everyone is afraid to commit to a relationship in fear that they’ve locked themselves into not knowing if they’ve explored enough. Exploration is the #1 downfall toward have a meaningful relationship.

Dave

August 8th, 2011
8:53 am

RealLife, while a little simplistic, is pretty dead on. The most attractive man and women in society will get most of the glory and most of the goods. It’s just like in nature where it’s surival of the fittest and only the strong survive. The most attractive women usually don’t care about changing because they are in love with themselves. They leave it up to the man to change to suit their needs. The most attractive (and rich) men don’t necessarily want a woman to change, they just chose from what’s on the shelf at that moment. In those men’s eyes, if she doesn’t make the cut then, she isn’t making the cut.

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
8:55 am

Seems like everyone is afraid to commit to a relationship in fear that they’ve locked themselves into not knowing if they’ve explored enough BAM!!!

It’s sort of like a game of leap frogger…folks are so ready to jump to the next lily pad before they what endless possibilities they could have with the lily pad they are already on. It’s also sort of like how neighborhoods starting looking crazy when the housing market began to fall. There were so many new subdivisions that had unfinished houses abandoned and unkempt. I think if folks spent more time and energy in building and maintaing the foundation they’ve already started on, then our neighborhood aka ‘relationships’ would be more stabile/successful.

Sweet Pea

August 8th, 2011
9:00 am

Leggs, I agree that the dating world has changed tremendously. Whatever happened to taking things slow and getting to know each other? Time and patience seems to be archaic now.

Exploration is the #1 downfall toward have a meaningful relationship.

Yes, there is no such thing as commitment anymore as it appears that most have adopted the Baskin Robbins slogan, “31 flavors” where they enjoy the delicious flavor of the month and once the novelty wears off, they’re off to the next one! No real reason for the exodus.

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
9:01 am

‘cuse the typos…i’m struggling this morning… yaaaaawwwwn

Chris

August 8th, 2011
9:02 am

Women read too many magazines and listen to too many of their single girlfriends to have successful relationships. I know a few women who went against what others told them they “should have or be with” and they’re happily married for 5, 9+ years and them girlfriends still running their mouth chasing waterfalls. Date for yourself and not for others. Everyone needs some work, please believe that. If we work together with the right attitude we could build a nice life or empire. Men have vision in this. Most women don’t have vision beyond the next meal. The most important question one should ask is “If this person never changed would I still love them?” Love is not about changing anyone or expecting them too.

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
9:10 am

@Chris, I don’t read relationship magazines, and I don’t talk to my friends about dating. What I do is observe how men come to me, how they speak to me, how they tell me what they want and don’t want, and how quickly sex is brought up. I think what men fail to realize is women would love to be “courted.” Plain and simple. Sure, we can’t go back to the 40’s, 50’s or 60’s of dating, but the man leading and taking charge is an admirable characteristic to have that will have a more appreciative and honored woman at his side also willing to explore the unknown of getting to know each other and all the other women along the way. If you start out dating like a “lazy susan,” be upfront about it. There’s so many seaonsings to choose from, but just be honest you’re still sampling. Then, SHE can decide how to proceed.

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
9:14 am

Good morning, all!

Harder...please.

August 8th, 2011
9:15 am

I don’t know what world you live in, but where I live dating just isn’t that complicated.

“When you encounter people with bad attitudes and unhealthy views about relationships, how do you handle it?” Simple. I won’t date them.

Chris

August 8th, 2011
9:16 am

There are alot of women in Atlanta who you can tell when younger used to be the stuff but now no ones looking their way anymore. Women are God’s flowers and like flowers when your looks fade the bee’s go buzz around fresher, brighter flowers. Most women’s looks have a “expiration date” on the shelf life so dont think even if pretty you got all day to get a man. There’s always new draft picks coming up. Some can go around with their nose in the air and shooting down every dude if they want to. I was at a singles function a few weeks ago. After the event one of the attendees got in a car accident and died that night. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone. Possible hurt feelings pales in comparison to not living, taking a chance and death.

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
9:18 am

Chris – I’m with Leggs on this as well…I don’t use women magazines as dating bibles nor do I surround myself with trifling girlfriends that dish out bad dating advice. I take every situation on a case by case basis with mutual respect and love as the constant in each courtship. Some folks claim they want that in a mate but once it’s received, they are looking for the next ‘high’.

Reio

August 8th, 2011
9:23 am

I’m married now, but while single, I dumped every woman that tried to change me. I told them to hit the road and moved on to another. Did’nt play around with them. A man can get a woman and love her, since there is no such thing as “falling in love” anyway. “Falling in love” is an invention.

Superman

August 8th, 2011
9:24 am

Morning! Anyone looking to hook up today?? :)

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
9:29 am

I’m looking to hook up with a connection to find me some nice blue pumps. Can you fly around town to see where the sales are…thanks!

Reio

August 8th, 2011
9:29 am

Enter your comments here

Reio

August 8th, 2011
9:37 am

Why is it that some single women prefer married men? I’ve run into this a few times. I’m a one woman man. Always was. But I’ve been approached several times, always while wearing my wedding ring, by women, single and married alike, to start a conversation about “us”. I know they want a physical relationship, but I also think they want more. Never investigated, so I do’nt know.

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
9:42 am

Why is it that some single women prefer married men? – I think the main reason is the woman doesn’t have to be comitted to the man. I suppose they’re looking for a semi-relationship (or sexual fulfillment) all the while not really having the ties to him. To know he’s going home to bother another woman frees her up of not having to deal with too many emotional issues with a married man.

Dave

August 8th, 2011
9:43 am

Reio, I co-sign with that. When I was married, single and married women came at me from all angles. When I got divorced, I could hear crickets. Those same SINGLE women wouldn’t give me the time of day. Go figure…..

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
9:45 am

Reio – well i’m glad you don’t let the advances go any further. My guess is that situations like that often start out under the premise of just free for all, strictly sexual…but it’s a pandoras box full of crazy outcomes…i.e A chick who tries to black male you for something by threatening to tell your wife, or she ends up getting preggo, or she ends up wanting more than just sex, goes crazy because you aren’t able to spend as much time with her doing the butt as you used to, becomes jealous of what you have with your wife, or even HER husband/boyfriend finding out about you and going crazy…Seems like folks are more interested in the next possible Jerry Springer story.

Casual Observer

August 8th, 2011
9:51 am

Good Morning All….. ” Ikea Men”….. I like that term….

Reio

August 8th, 2011
9:52 am

Anyway, the man my wife met 22 years ago is the same man I am now. She never tried to change me. Over time I learned what she liked/disliked and I adapted to please her. I also knew all along that she would accept me, no matter what. So long as I did’nt disrespect her or harm her in any way. And I have’nt. As a single man, looking back on it, the one thing I had as an advantage, was the fact that I knew that I could always open the back door, kick this one out, and then open the front door and bring the next on in. Would’nt settle. Never.

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
9:52 am

You attract what you are, if you keep attracting “ikea men” or some other “issue” change something about yourself.

This weekedns half marathon ws the hardest. There was some sort of tropical storm and they ran the race anyway. Rain was pouring HARD and the headwinds were barely bearable. The weather was so bad that after the run yesterday all of the roads were flooded and planes were not flying out until late lastnight. So being stuck their with the family was an event to say the least. My times were My first split was at 5k (3.1miles) 28 minutes(you can tell by my slow pace how bad the weather was) Next Split was at 10K(6.2miles) 75 minutes I crossed the 10 mile mark with a time of 110minutes..12 Mile mark at 134 minutes and finished with a total time of 149 minutes. Worst run conditions ever ran in and due to the it was a waisted trip form my wife and son as they were stuck in the hotel. Today and tomorrow are recovery days. How was your weekend?

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
9:53 am

@Dave ~ while married, you’re intriguing and exciting. The thrill of being “bad” is intoxicating. Once you’re divorced, a lot of that thrill is gone because now you’re an “average joe blow.” A bit harsh, but I may be on point.

Reio

August 8th, 2011
9:56 am

By the way, every one of those encounters was relayed to my wife, by me. So she was aware of this. Two of whom she knew. One of which, she knew before meeting me. Funny.

kimmie

August 8th, 2011
10:06 am

Morning All! Got a new haircut and a new attitude! The kids were excited on their first day back to school.

On topic – WD asks when you encounter people with bad attitudes and unhealthy views on relationships do you cut your losses and get with someone that sees things your way. Duh!! Well you do, if you have some sense!

I’m all for accepting a person for what they are. But while I was out there dating, I encountered too many guys that used that as an excuse for bad behavior. For example, there was a guy I was seeing that never wanted to plan ahead for anything. He wanted to call a day before or even a few hours before he wanted to see me and expect me to be available. I told him that wasn’t going to work. He said he didn’t like planning ahead because then there would be the expectaton that he had to follow thru. Yah think?! He said he didn’t like anyone trying to change him. Fine, and I told him I didn’t need anyone trying to change me either, me expecting someone to respect me & my time and not take me for granted.

I left him to do his thing and “not change”.

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
10:06 am

@PR ~ sounds dreadful to run in those conditions. Silver lining is you’re there with your family. Pat on the back for finishing or better yet, not even forfeiting at the beginning of the race due to weather conditions.

Michael P.

August 8th, 2011
10:07 am

A few months ago, I told my wife something about our relationship. It’s simple, true, and based on my devotion and the love I feel for her;

“I love you not only for who you are, but for who I am when I’m with you”.

And it goes both ways!

i'm swiss™

August 8th, 2011
10:09 am

“I’m looking to hook up with a connection to find me some nice blue pumps.”

Leggs — Um, well, I suppose I could pump you ’til I’m blue. Does that count? :lol:

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
10:13 am

You see, kimmie, men feel that if they tell you that they don’t like planning and feel free to call hours before you’re to go out, you should be clapping your hands, jumping up and down screaming YIPPEE. Hell to da naw. If that’s your style, that’s your style and I won’t change you. But because it’s not my style either, I won’t date you because it would only irritate me in the long run and have me feeling I’m a last resort in that you couldn’t find anything else to occupy your day so now you’re calling me.

I won’t date this guy due to his disrespect of time. He’s a nice person, but doesn’t give a rat’s behind about time. If he’s to come over at 8:30, I may get a call at 12:30 saying he’s on his way. I have said “well, I hope you’re on your way somewhere, but don’t come here!”

They only get away with it if you let them.

Dave

August 8th, 2011
10:14 am

Maybe I outta put my wedding ring back on to “spice” things up a little. I’m all for a little role playing….lol

Chris

August 8th, 2011
10:14 am

Please, women dont want to be courted and they don’t know how to take a man being gracious and nice to them. That’s “corny” these days. Knowing that a man wants YOU and not playing around is boring cause you know you can have him. Women being emotional need to be kept guessing, the excitement and drama. Isn’t that right? Romance? Nahhhh, not when they walk past you to the thug looking dudes tattoed up and cussing when he talks to you. I see many women walk over the classy, clean cut dudes to get to pants hanging down, thuggish. I was told by a couple married guys I know for me to get a cheap wedding band and go out and I’ll get play all day. It’s amazing women are like that. I’ve decided to just get in where I fit in though. Sistas may not notice me when I’m out alone trying to talk to them but they sure notice when I’m out with a white or hispanic girl. Go figure.

kimmie

August 8th, 2011
10:17 am

I actually heard that story on Frank & Wanda about the Ikea men aka “project” guys. I actually got a different take on it. I think they were talking about the type of man that you meet up with where dating them is really just like taking on a project. The woman that gets with this type of guy is not really trying to “change” the core person that he is, but rather work with him thru whatever “situation” he’s in at the moment. I’m not really talking about a guy that is finishing up law school or getting a business off the ground, something like that. I’m talking the 38 year old guy that can’t move out of his mama’s basement because he owes back child support on his 3 kids and he got fired from his last job for popping off at the mouth to his boss and if “The Man” and “The System” would stop blocking him maybe he could get things together.

That’s an exaggerated example, but those that are familiar with this type, get it. Dating and trying to be supportive of such men is beyond project management, it can be a real chore. You don’t want to feel you have to piece together a person to make them dateable.

Reio

August 8th, 2011
10:17 am

Years after being married, during a quiet moment with my wife(can’t even remember what started the conversation), I asked her if she changed anything about herself while we were dating. She said “yes”, I asked “what”, and she refused to answer. I tried and tried, but she would not say. So I asked her Wwhy she changed, and she said “to keep you”. Did’nt think I could, but I started loving her even more at that moment.

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
10:19 am

:lol: No, swiss, that doesn’t count.

kimmie

August 8th, 2011
10:20 am

They only get away with it if you let them.

Leggs – Absolutely.

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
10:20 am

To answer the question I do not deal with people who have bad attitudes or unhealthy views about relationships. I don’t deall with the in regards to anything. I just stay away from those type of people in general. If you meet someone who does not line up with your general thoughts or if you two are just opposite on the base platform…why even push it farther?

Leggs, thank you. I had to do it, what can of man would I be if weather stopped me from running? :)

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
10:20 am

@Chris ~ all I can is you wrong! Nothing more, nothing less.

kimmie

August 8th, 2011
10:22 am

Leggs – “Corny” sounds like he’s dealing with some youngsters.

Good luck with that, whatever color you like, Chris.

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
10:25 am

And, I knew you would say just that, PR!

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
10:25 am

Yep Yep, kimmie!

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
10:27 am

Leggs, exactly. LOL Then have my wife and son looking at me like I wussed out? No way, plus a battle of the elements is fun…just another personal endurance test.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 8th, 2011
10:27 am

This should be interesting. I haven’t read the postings yet but this is a very real dilemma. AS “Wilson” said to Tim Allen on “Home Improvement”…”a man hopes that beautiful bride he is marrying will never change. A woman hopes she CAN change the man she is marrying. They are both wrong.”

Fact is WD, you are right to be indignant. I’ve seen it many times. Is this any different though from what it has always been? To make a good LTR, the couple need to be friends as well as lovers. This won’t happen if one party trys to emasculate or humiate the other on a normal basis.

Reio

August 8th, 2011
10:28 am

@ Leggs : Chris is on to something, in my opinion. While single and dating, I encountered a number of women that seemed to love going out ALL of the time, and could’nt understand how i could get much pleasure out of reading books so much. Could’nt understand why I valued education so much. Why I did’nt talk so much about sex as other guys. Never knew what to say beyond “hit the road”. Or “see ya”

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
10:30 am

Chris – Maybe you should stop hanging out on music video sets lol…what age group pool are you trying to take a dip in? Personally, it irritates me to see dudes with their pants hang round their knees, showing their dingy boxers and waddling like a penguin with they walk. Send me a pic so the WLB can maybe get a more insiders scoop to what the issues might be ;-)

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 8th, 2011
10:32 am

After reflecting on this, people should establish BOUNDARIES but not try to change the other. Just let the other know what is and is not acceptable, then the other must make the decision to change themselves…or lace on the New Balances and hit the road. IMHO

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
10:34 am

@Reio ~ personally, I think a woman who loves going out all the time should be shunned. You can learn many facets of a person by staying home, reading a book, even being silent. Spending $$ on dinner, drinks and dancing is ok every once in a while, but every weekend. Never wanted a man who wanted to do this. To do so is simply to use elements of the outside world as a filler and not trying to let me know you as person or you know me.

kimmie

August 8th, 2011
10:35 am

Slim – Yep, sounds like someone is dating amongst the space cadets. Sound like that was the case for Reio too, when he was single. Or so they claim!LOL!!

Reio

August 8th, 2011
10:39 am

@ Kimmie : I agree. As I single man, I was younger, and so were they. I grew and learned. Did’nt change though.

abc

August 8th, 2011
10:39 am

It might be interesting (or comical) to hear some of the changes that chicks would try to impress upon the so-called ‘IKEA Man’.

kimmie

August 8th, 2011
10:43 am

Randyt – Not saying I’m right, but read my 10:17. I heard the radio broadcast Wise is talking about. It had another twist on the topic. It was really about meeting men(and you insert women as well) that don’t have it all together in their lives. You have to “work” with them to make them dateable. Like picking someone off the side of the street and dusting them off.

Not meeting a perfectly decent, together Randyt and saying “Randyt would be perfect if only he would change his haircut or attend a different church or eat more Thai food, etc”.

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
10:43 am

Reio – I love to read…and I have no interest in guys that go out all the time…Heyal, I don’t even have many female friends that still do the clubbing every weekend thing. That club stuff gets old pretty quickly to me.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 8th, 2011
10:43 am

Women that think men are “Ikea” projects seem to be a little self-absorbed maybe. Is it “all about them?” Most reform in relationships needs to start with “The Man (or Woman) In the Mirror”.

Seems to me it is easier to find men with the qualities they want, rather than to try to “rehab” one that doesn’t.

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
10:45 am

There is something to be said about someone who finds something wrong with the majority of the people they meet.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 8th, 2011
10:46 am

@ Kimmie

Are you saying my current lady should expect me to start eating brocolli…ain’t happening Babe LOL. Those trees look lethal to me, I’d take a gun or knife fight anytime. ;-)

Michael P.

August 8th, 2011
10:47 am

Hey Kimmie, I know what your saying. Before I met my wife, I dated a women who lives in Alabama.
We met online and were getting along well, and I finally went to see her for our first face-to-face. Now, in my post on the dating site where we met, I stated that I was “spiritual and not religous”, and more specifically, that I had spent 30 years finding my God, and that I WAS NOT willing to change that aspect of my life for anything or anybody.
I spend the weekend in Alabama so we could have a couple of days together, and she asked if I would come to church with her on Sunday. This probably should have raised a red flag with me, but I thought, what the hell. We went to church, and later went for breakfast.
Well, after I returned home to Georgia, she began asking me in her emails and by phone what I had though of her church, which was Greek Orthodox, and she began to constantly point out the very few similarities of her church to my spirituallity. I told her it was a nice church, but that I already had a God, as I had indicated in my posting. The response I recieved was that she didn’t want to see me any longer, as she had wanted a man that would join her church with her.
Apparently, she has trouble with semantics, as I had made it abundantly clear on my post that I was unwilling to change my views on God or religion. Still, she saw something in me that she said she wanted, stated repeatedly over a period of several weeks prior to our first meeting that I sounded perfect for her, and then immediately tried to change one of the most important aspects of my life. And furthermore, if she had looked at this in a true spirit of understanding and tolerance, she would have realized that she wanted to change the very thing that makes me the man that she became attracted to in the first place!
If she had wanted a man who practiced her religion, then why didn’t she simply cultivate a relationship with someone at her church. As a younger man, I was told by many smarter, older women that church was an excellent place to meet a potential mate, and I am sure there were more than a few single men who were already members of her church. Go figure…

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
10:47 am

Everyone has things they can improve on…no one is perfect…As I like to say, “i’m perfectly IMperfect” ;-) A relationship should be a partnership. One should be able to assist or push the other in the areas they are weak in and vice versa. I don’t think that’s necessarily about changing them…but working together for the betterment of the partnership.

kimmie

August 8th, 2011
10:49 am

Randyt- :lol: I feel the same about beets!

Reio

August 8th, 2011
10:49 am

SlimNu – I actually exited the club scene while dating my wife. Got old and we had each other, so no need to continue doing that.

Reio

August 8th, 2011
10:52 am

SlimNu, 10:47 am – You are wonderful !! Thank You.

TenderRoni

August 8th, 2011
10:55 am

I’m not really getting the Ikea man thing. I learned early on you can’t change anyone. They have to want to change on their own.
I subscribe to accepting a person based on their character and when they show me who they are. I accept the good, bad, and ugly. There are certain things I know I can’t tolerate, then thats one I have to let go.
It seems in dating men/women want someone to be perfect. People aren’t tolerate anymore that people and a relationship are going to have issues. You just have to know within yourself if its worth working through with that person.

@PR- I agree with your 10:45 post. I learned some men a single simple because they choose to find some in every woman, and claim the woman does not meet their standards. Well of course she doesn’t if all you look at are her faults.

kimmie

August 8th, 2011
10:55 am

Michael P – That’s wild. See when it came to dating, I didn’t even go there when it came to core things I wanted in a person. You can’t and just shouldn’t even try to change or “change a person’s mind” on something so fundamental. Seems it was “my way or the highway” with her. Yeah, if a man HAD to be Greek Orthodox, then that’s where she should have concentrated her search – at her church!

SexyCool

August 8th, 2011
10:57 am

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
10:57 am

Tender, Exactly. Some people go into a new relationship or just life in general always pointing out what is wrong with a person or something and never take the time to see what is good.

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
10:58 am

kimmie & Randyt – I feel the same way about SQUASH. And speaking of broccoli, the beau is not a fan of veggies and i always get on him about eating all that starch. So when I hooked up some chicken last week, I made myself some broccoli. Next thing I know I see him with broccoli on his plate. lol

SexyCool

August 8th, 2011
10:59 am

I’d be interested in knowing if women that speak of “Ikea” men came from Rooms to Go themselves.

Mike P

August 8th, 2011
11:00 am

Chris – my man, you are absolutely spot on with your 10:14 am post…

Also, I find that a-lot of these females out here are either hooking up with thugs but direct their angry bitterness towards the real man in her life (soon to be ex), or she’s trying to “thug-up” a man (clean-cut man with backbone) to make him acceptable to her.

to this kind of female, “Next!” lol

SexyCool

August 8th, 2011
11:01 am

Purp – Cool that you toughed it out. I’m sure that there were those that didn’t.

Atlanta’s Finest 5K – finish time – 35:57

This morning’s run report – Regular route – me, the man, the dog – 34 minutes.

TenderRoni

August 8th, 2011
11:01 am

@Slim- 10:47 was well said.

@PR-exactly

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
11:08 am

Broccoli is one of my favorite veggies!

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
11:08 am

Good job, SC! NICE!

kimmie

August 8th, 2011
11:11 am

Slim – I’m slowly but surely turning hubby and the kids on to a healthier way of eating. The only green vegetables they would eat when I met them were green beans and brocolli and maybe a salad or collards here or there. Now I have them eating spinach, cabbage and zuchini! They still slip into the old habits though. One day last week I had to work late. Hubby threw some pork chops on the grill and he said he would make some rice and steam some veggies. Cool. I get home, guess what the veggie was? Corn. He said he let baby girl pick the veggie and thats what she chose. I told him, and have told him before, rice/mashed potatoes/mac & cheese and corn are nothing but starches and you need a green veggie to balance all that out. You don’t need 2 starches, but I see folks eat like that all the time. I steamed myself some spinach.

Now that’s CHANGE he APPRECIATES though! And I didn’t stuff it down their throats, just made the vegetables appealing to them so they’d want to eat them!

IMO

August 8th, 2011
11:13 am

Oh well, another label to avoid. Good luck my brothers.

Reio

August 8th, 2011
11:15 am

@ Kimmie – Tell hubby and the kids that ‘corn’ is not a veggie, its a grain. See what they say. LOL.

SexyCool

August 8th, 2011
11:17 am

I do not believe that women don’t want to be courted. I actually believe that it is more of a generational/maturity type deal. Most of the younger crowd don’t have examples of what real dating, relating and relationship skills look like. So, they are doing a poor job of making it up as they go along.

I know, for me, I had to learn how to date. It took a while, some years actually, for me to know that I should have some standards and expectations and that I had the right to make some demands about how I wanted to be treated as opposed to accepting whatever came along.

And then, I could get into society and media’s influence on dating. Where you have these retarded reality dating shows and songs talking about “just wanna fk every girl in the world” and “we don’t go together, we jus be kickin’ it” and music videos where they are getting the messages that they have to be easy and half naked and look like Tricky Minaj.

It’s a wonder you think women don’t want to be courted. And hell, it’s not like some guys would know how to court them if they did.

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
11:20 am

kimmie – I had the same conversation with the beau regarding corn, potatoes etc being starches. Mama made me some good ole fashion okra this past weekend when I went home and some poke-chops lol

kimmie

August 8th, 2011
11:21 am

Reio – I told them that! They went blank. A lot of people don’t get that, but it’s okay. :)

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
11:23 am

Exactly SC ~ last Sunday I received an afternoon call saying he called me Saturday afternoon because he wanted to take me to the movies. He didn’t leave a voicemail or anything. It wasn’t until later on Saturday eve I realized I had a missed call from him. Asked why he didn’t call me back to say he wanted to go to the movies he said “I just didn’t.” Cool, that’s your perogative. I looked at the phone and shook my head.

abc

August 8th, 2011
11:24 am

Spinach, cabbage, zucchini, blech!

Green beans, fresh brussel sprouts, peas, salads I can handle. I can do spinach in a casserole, in fact I make a couple of killer ones. Eggplant?! No thanks. Meat. Grrr, I’m a carnivore.

kimmie

August 8th, 2011
11:24 am

SCool – You are exactly right. Neither side really has had good examples.

Mike P

August 8th, 2011
11:25 am

Kimmie – That’s awesome! that’s not changing the man (or the kids for that matter); rather you’re trying to change behavior with a more healthier behavior pattern.

Change behavior for the ultimate benefit for the man = Cool
Change the man for your ultimate benefit = Not Cool

abc

August 8th, 2011
11:25 am

As far as corn goes, I don’t even feed my dog anything that has corn. It doesn’t seem to me that it has much nutritional value.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 8th, 2011
11:26 am

@ SlimNu

I have watched my children mature and dating ISN’T dating anymore. When I was young, the man worked up the courage to call a lady, and asked is she wanted to go to a movie, dinner, whatever. Now it is just “hanging out” in together or in groups. I’ve really wondered if “dating” has gone the way of the dinosaur. And the way relationships are portrayed on “reality” shows makes me wonder how dids entering the dating scene have ANY IDEA what a relationship should be.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 8th, 2011
11:27 am

kids not dids. I am typing challenged today as usual.

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
11:28 am

abc – Funny thing about spinach is I only like it raw in a salad. Cooked spinach, no thanks…unless it’s in that fantabulous spinach dip my aunt makes so well.

SexyCool

August 8th, 2011
11:28 am

And a word on project management,

When I look at the basic principles or common fundamentals of project management, I would say that it would do good to apply some of those principles to dating/relationships.

Planning for an expected outcome with a method of reviewing progress and planning for disruptions. Keeping your eye on the three dimensions of time, quality, resources and…..I could go on.

If maintaining a successful relationship is not the ultimate project/life management challenge, I don’t know what is.

Superman

August 8th, 2011
11:29 am

Who else is naked right now??

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
11:30 am

Sexy Cool, you are being consisitent, does it feel funny when you wake up and it’s not a run day or if you miss a day?

I threw away my shirt and hat somewhere along the course, the water weight of them both was bothering me and throwing me off of rhythm bad.

Reio

August 8th, 2011
11:30 am

@ abc – I beg to differ. Check this out :
http://www.gowiththegrain.org/nutrition/grain.php

SexyCool

August 8th, 2011
11:30 am

The only time I eat corn is when I want to check the timing of er, um…internal workings.

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
11:31 am

@kimmie ~ tell them what I was told growing up. “If it has a seed it, it is technically a fruit and not a vegetable.

cba

August 8th, 2011
11:32 am

@PR that was an impressive endurance race. To be 40+ makes it more impressive. Maybe it’s that mid-western lifestyle. Hmmm… you’re not a former SEAL are you ;-)

SexyCool

August 8th, 2011
11:33 am

Purp – yesterday was supposed to be my rest day…especially considering that I maxed out on the 5K on Saturday and then, instead of taking MARTA back to my neighborhood, my sister and I decided to walk the 2 miles back to my house.

But…I woke up and my regular time…and since we were getting up for church anyway, I laced up and headed out.

And yes, I do feel different on mornings that I don’t run or at least walk.

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 8th, 2011
11:35 am

It is too much friggin’ work to try to change someone. Please be who and what you are from the start. Show me you’re an @$$hole now, so I don’t waste my time!
I put my personality on display from the jump. You will know I have zero tolerance for BS and will not baby nor ego stroke a grown man! Also, I am nice until you push me or make me go zero to crazy chick in 2 seconds. You will also know I am goofy, not stuck up like men always tell me they thought I’d be (which I still don’t understand that). How do you LOOK stuck up? I smile and act crazy most of the time. I love to joke and have fun.Life’s a Beyotch…laugh it up!

kimmie

August 8th, 2011
11:36 am

Slim – I’m like that about cooked carrots. For some reason, I’ve loved spinach in any form since I was a baby. Mom said I used to love that Gerber spinach that looked almost black! Now, some fresh spinach sauteed with garlic and a little butter or olive oil or raw in a salad, I love it.

I got them to like zuchinni by making an italian cassarole with fresh tomatoes, onions, mozzarella & parm cheeses and italian herbs. My mom used to make it and we went crazy over it.

Zuchinni is also good sliced with a little olive oil and seasoning and cooked on the grill.

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
11:37 am

cba, LOL no way, I am patriotic but not that patriotic. Just farm living and exercising :) RIP to those who died in that helicopter crash.

Did anyone see/read this?
http://www.cnn.com/2011/CRIME/08/06/mississippi.hate.crime/index.html?

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
11:38 am

Sexy Cool, :) after a certain point it becomes a lifestyle and you my friend are there. LOL

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
11:41 am

kimmie – you’re making me hungry…imma need some of yall’s recipes so I can hook up some different dishes.

SexyCool

August 8th, 2011
11:41 am

True, Purp. Now, I am working to make permanent changes to my eating/cooking/grocery buying habits. And I must say, I am coming along quite nicely.

IMO

August 8th, 2011
11:44 am

The idea of a project man takes me back to the scene from Daddy’s Little Girls when Gabrielle Union’s character is out to dinner with the pimpish character played by Craig Robinson. Professionally, he’s a mess and she’s 14k gold. But that’s where the differences end – they are both at square one relationship-wise. For me if it all goes back to the idea that people want to equate relationship merit/worth with professional status. And if we view it in those terms, then advantage black women, especially in Atlanta. I have met woman doctors, lawyers, bankers, and others with some of the ugliest ways. But somehow they see themselves as the most attractive or carrying the greatest status. Depressing. All I can do is raise any little man I have to balance things out in the future.

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
11:46 am

SexyCool, your body doesn’t lie to you. Certain things that you used to crave/like will become sour to the taste as soon as you put it in your mouth

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
11:56 am

Certain things that you used to crave/like will become sour to the taste as soon as you put it in your mouth

I’m spanking my own hand because my mind did shoot to the gutter on this one :shock:

cba

August 8th, 2011
11:57 am

PR, they were just discussing that crime on the Warren Ballentine’s show.
At first, I thought this happened years ago. I can already hear some people, one who posts on here, it was just a teenager prank that went astray. Yeah, right.

SexyCool

August 8th, 2011
12:01 pm

TheDude and I went to the Table of Brotherhood Project at Morehouse on Saturday. I wish I had known about it earlier. I would have liked to invite some folks out to it. It was an interesting conversation. I just hope it wasn’t all talk.

i'm swiss™

August 8th, 2011
12:09 pm

Purple — Stories like that are why I have philosophical problem with the death penalty. Some people are just plain evil and ought to be put down.

i'm swiss™

August 8th, 2011
12:10 pm

Should have been “… why I have *no* philosophical problem….”

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 8th, 2011
12:18 pm

SLIM…you know you are not spanking your hand. You are spanking you own butt! Ok, men…have a field day with that one! :lol:

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
12:21 pm

LOL@Slim, I was not being nasty that time. BMW, I was being nasty if you read it that way. LOL

cba, I thought about UGA 1999 as soon as I read that and wonder what his explanation would be especially after reading what they quoted the kid as saying.

Swiss, in situations like think I support the Death Penalty, they caught the whole thing on video.

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
12:21 pm

Eric, sexed the heck out of Sookie. LOL

SexyCool

August 8th, 2011
12:21 pm

Purp – my main goal right now is to significantly lower the amount of processed foods that I bring into our house and that we put into our bodies. I am already doing a pretty decent job of it. I just know that I can do better.

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
12:29 pm

SexyCool, good job!

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
12:31 pm

CNN has the video on their site. That is terrible. It’s a learned behavior.

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 8th, 2011
12:32 pm

PURPLE…I was eating Oreo’s (DQ blizzard flavored) for the first time as I watched True Blood. I took my first bite right when Sookie and Eric were getting busy. I yelled “Sweet Baby Jesus” because that cookie was so friggin’ good and then that scene (sweating as I have flashbacks), that did it. I was already in love with Eric Northman! Alcide was getting it in too, until his girl took the steam out of his engine! Now I am totally in lust, I mean love with them both! :lol:

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
12:41 pm

BMW, Eric did her from the midlle of the forrest all the way to her floor then bed(lol they left their clothes in the woods). I really don’t get into the sex scenes to much unless it’s girl on girl but Eric did her good. LOL Those wolves should have been more intense. LOL Sookie is such a tramp. I wonder whatthe possessed Marnie is up to and I wonder how the sissy is going to do now that he knows he is a medium.

For Real

August 8th, 2011
12:49 pm

“Sissy Medium” – Not that’s funny as hell!!!

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
12:53 pm

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
1:05 pm

I hope this orange Fanta gives me the pep I need right now because….i’m….losing….mo men tum fast… .. _______

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 8th, 2011
1:06 pm

Well I think Alcide was going for it…but Debbie was a downer! :lol: It could have been hot wild sweaty Wolf sex! :lol:

I read the True Blood books and Eric and Sookie are not temporary in the books. But you know for TV they may change it.

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
1:09 pm

Not Fanta Orange….that’s my long lost buddy!!!

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
1:14 pm

Daaaaaan Purp – That video makes me sad….

TenderRoni

August 8th, 2011
1:15 pm

True Blood was good last night. Sookie gets her freak on!

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
1:15 pm

Leggs – I REALLY prefer the grape Fanta though…has just the right amount of Ahhhhh to it ;-)

i'm swiss™

August 8th, 2011
1:18 pm

Slim / Leggs — Does Fanta even have any caffeine? They are tasty, though. Personally, I’m going with the cherry coke zero. Had to go “zero” ‘cos you know I prefer my cherries in a black container… :lol:

BA-DUMP-BUMP, TING!

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
1:20 pm

@swiss ~ I started to post about all the sweet cheeries I ate this morning, but didn’t cuz I knew you would rip it apart. I don’t know if there’s any caffeine in Fanta???

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
1:31 pm

Hey y’all!

Scanning and trying to catch up. True Blood was so-so last night. Debbie Downer is on my nerves; she’s got the hottest guy on the show and still whining? Puhleeze!
Two things kinda bug me about the show: 1/it seems like nobody can just be an average human, everybody has to be something – a medium, a fairy, a vampire, etc… and 2/I know Eric is super-hot, and he’s “changed”, but how do you get past all the raping and torturing and bad stuff to sleep with him? IJS….

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
1:33 pm

swiss – I’m not sure about caffeine but it shole has enough sugar in it. lol

Leggs – I’ve been craving some cherries lately.

i'm swiss™

August 8th, 2011
1:33 pm

Leggs — Yeeeeeeeeeeeesssssss, I have been know to tear up some cherries… :lol:

Oh, blog tennis report: 2nd round playoff match (after a 1st round bye): 6-2, 6-4 win. Good serving day for me — dude only got 1 point against my serve in the whole first set & that came on a double-fault when I went for an ace on a 2nd serve, already up 40-love in the game. :D

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
1:44 pm

Congrats, Swiss!

(Overheard at a bar):
Girl A: You know I’m still a virgin
Girl B: Yeah, right…
Girl A: It’s true. I still have my cherry….
Girl B: Honey, please. That thing’s pushed back so far you could use it as a tail light!!

kimmie

August 8th, 2011
1:45 pm

4 Real – Did you see Breaking Bad last night? Walter’s lawyer cracks me up!

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
1:46 pm

@SlimNu ~ I got mine from Aldi’s and they were delicious!!!

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
1:48 pm

“Girl B: Honey, please. That thing’s pushed back so far you could use it as a tail light!!”

OH MY!

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
1:48 pm

Leggs, you can’t beat Aldi’s prices for produce. And what I’ve bought there has always been good quality and fresh.

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
1:51 pm

I bought my cherries 3 weeks ago and ate the last batch this morning. @ITL, have you noticed how long their bread stays fresh? Loving that store…

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
1:53 pm

Don’t usually buy bread…. Their frozen stuff is good, especially their frozen fish and frozen fruit.

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
1:54 pm

I’ve never heard of Aldi having great produce but I might have to check that out since cherries can be expensive. I bought some green & red grapes from Publix last week and they were SOOOOOO dayum goood. Firm yet sweet & juicy

czBrat

August 8th, 2011
1:55 pm

Hi Yas!

popping in late cuz it’s been a real monday around here. on topic: i find the term “Ikea men” as disturbing as “starter marriage”. we have truly become disillusioned about healthy relationships.

don’t watch true blood and don’t like orange soda, but i have been indulging in sweet summer cherries these past couple of weeks. although ITLs post makes me wanna skip my afternoon snack. :sad:

awesome, swiss!! congrats!

DreamsMaterialize

August 8th, 2011
1:56 pm

Hey Everyone.

Everyone has some things they need to work on in their life. While I appreciate support in doing that, it would be insulting for someone to consider my serious issues a “project.” I don’t need to be dusted off or have my rough edges smoothed. If you want a project to work on, then Michael’s has everything you need…leave me the he!! alone though.

How’s everyone been?

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
1:57 pm

@SlimNU ~ Aldi’s has great plums, peaches, fresh broccoli, corn on the cobb, grapes, cucumbers, lettuce, etc. For me, however, stay away from their mangos…all that I’ve taken home have been horrible.

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
2:00 pm

I made my delicious breakfast casserole last night with product from Aldi’s (except the sausage). I can just slice my Senior a square for breafast with a glass of OJ and viola, breakfast is ready in 2 mins!

Da_Man!

August 8th, 2011
2:02 pm

Not that I’m taking “IKEA-man” personally but I’m always under the impression that both men & women are “assembling required” projects. I fact, don’t really mind being that “IKEA-man”, at least IKEA gives you extra assembling peices & tools to use. Sure wouldn’t want to be a “Wal-Mart-anything” … little style, defective out the box, missing parts, loose screws & sh** …

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
2:03 pm

Oopsie… Sorry, cz. :(

I can just slice my Senior a square for breafast Yay! Proud mommy of a senior!!

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
2:04 pm

Leggs – Not to worry, I don’t even like mangos.

abc

August 8th, 2011
2:05 pm

Speaking of a hopeless project, Kanye says people look at him as if he’s insane, as if he’s Hitler. It’s hard to imagine that he’d notice, what with there apparently being nobody else in the world but him, from his own perspective.

czBrat

August 8th, 2011
2:07 pm

no worries, ITL. i ate my cantaloupe instead. perhaps my appetite for cherries will return in a few.
(better chance of that if i stay off this blog though). LOL.

free yoga sessions in central park this wednesday. i’m on it! now who’s with me?

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
2:08 pm

I love mangos, but they are a pain in the arse to peel and slice. I can never seem to do it so that I don’t end up with a squishy mess.

czBrat

August 8th, 2011
2:14 pm

I can never seem to do it so that I don’t end up with a squishy mess.

LOL. really no way to avoid the squishy mess when it comes to mangos. best way to peel them is to quarter them off the pit then dice or slice them in the skin and scoop out the pieces.

but if you REALLY want to go exotic (and avoid the mess), learn to eat them green.

sidebar … i don’t know what this song on the radio is about, but i’m pretty sure the chick is saying “you’re gonna wish you never had met me”. :shock:

kimmie

August 8th, 2011
2:14 pm

What’s shakin, Dreams? How has your summer been?

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
2:14 pm

Where’s central park, czB???

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
2:19 pm

ITL – You just have to take your time. I used to peel them all the time for the ex because he always acted as if he was helpless when it came to that. Apparently, they never tasted the same unless I cut it up lol

I grew up on fruit so I try to eat it as much as possible.

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
2:19 pm

Green mangos??? That sounds like it could be rough on the tunkin’…..

Central Park as in NYC???
(ha! As I was typing NYC, I could hear that salsa commercial in my head…New York City???)

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
2:22 pm

Speaking of trying to cut stuff without a squishy mess….I sometimes have a hard time peeling and slicing kiwi fruit. I think maybe because it’s so small and by the time you get the skin off to try to slick it, it’s sliding around everywhere. I usually have to exercise the 3 seconds on the floor rule, after rinsing all the dirt and hair off of it first :lol:

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
2:22 pm

Slim, do you use the same method czB described, or do you have another method?

Y’all might laugh, but I actually googled this last summer, and almost bought a special knife just for cutting mangos. I consider myself to be pretty proficient in most things culinary, but the mango slicing is my achilles heel.

czBrat

August 8th, 2011
2:22 pm

atlantic station, leggs.

ITL, we used to call it “mango salad”. sliced green mangos drizzeled with vinegar, salt & pepper. doubt i could eat it now but did all the time growing up.

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
2:24 pm

On kiwis: I cut the ends off first, so that I have a flat surface. Then I stand it on end, and peel down in strips from top to bottom, then turn it sideways and slice.

i'm swiss™

August 8th, 2011
2:26 pm

If any of you ladies are interested, I could host a tutorial session on mango-eating best practices. Just putting it out there… :lol:

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
2:27 pm

Thanks, czB.

@SlimNu ~ you do know :arrow: “after rinsing all the dirt and hair off of it first” did not sound right. :lol: :lol: I got what you mean, it just didn’t sound right!

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
2:28 pm

LOL. I’m imagining the course listing for Swiss’s seminar.

A Bib or a Wet Shirt 101
Finger Licking 103
Stickiness is Your Friend 202

Dynamic

August 8th, 2011
2:30 pm

I think most relationships do require alot of work in order for them to last. I didn’t hear the Frank and Wanda show, but if that’s what they meant then I understand.

Women do like to be courted and taken out! For those men who disagree puleeze tell me who old are you and the women that you ask out and they say “oh no let’s just hit the sheets”

With the whole attraction to married people thing it goes both ways. What married people and people in healthy relationships need to realize is when you are happy and having sex on a regular basis you emit the natural happy hormones which are attractive and inviting to others. When your happy you have confidence that others find attractive. Just smile at them tell them no thanks and K.I.M.

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
2:36 pm

Leggs – Tu shae my dear…lol

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
2:38 pm

swiss – I saw some movie a while ago that had some outtakes at the end of the movie…it was some chick giving oral tutorial lessons using a mango…it was almost awkward to watch but funny at the same time. Anyone know what movie I’m talking about? Memory is fading…

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
2:41 pm

Did I see Dreams wander in here a moment ago??? Does that mean the blog bar will be open this afternoon??? (fingers crossed)

i'm swiss™

August 8th, 2011
2:43 pm

Slim — Yentle? :lol:

ITL — The “problem” of mango juice can usually be easily managed by simply eating the mango very slowly and drinking the juices in as you go. Now, occasionally you will run across a squirter & take some mango juice in the eye, but the reward is well worth the risk. :lol:

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
2:51 pm

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
2:52 pm

Can the crickets please leave and bring back my people….

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
2:52 pm

czBrat

August 8th, 2011
2:54 pm

aight. ILT messin with my cherry high and swiss puttin me off mangos for life.

i shoulda known.

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
2:57 pm

Some days, it’s hard to be a fruit lover….

I know!!!

August 8th, 2011
2:59 pm

@SlimNu – it was on Real Sex and there was an episode on CatHouse. Sorry I live for my HBO! I haven’t really seen it just heard about it somewhere(looking guilty cause I got it on tivo, for future reference) ;)

TenderRoni

August 8th, 2011
2:59 pm

Let me ask the blog: I just talked with a male friend of mine. I was asking if he believes in courting a woman? He says HELL NO!. He thinks there is a difference between courting and starting out as friends.

DreamsMaterialize

August 8th, 2011
2:59 pm

What’s shakin, Dreams? How has your summer been?
kimmie What good with you? The summer has been awesome. Hot, but awesome. I guess it’s offcially over since the babygirl started kindergarten this morning. Have you been enjoying your summer?

Did I see Dreams wander in here a moment ago??? Does that mean the blog bar will be open this afternoon???
ITL How are you? In the spirit of the conversation, how about a Mango Martini?

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
3:02 pm

@TenderRoni ~ you start out as friends is just that, friends…heck you can go dutch as friends. To start out and “court” someone, you are also starting out as friends with a goal toward different endings.

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
3:03 pm

Hey Dreamy! A mango martini sounds muy delicioso…..

Kindergarten!! Awwww, Big Girl! :)

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
3:03 pm

Ok, somebody needs to get it crackalackin up in here before I start doing the church nods up in this camp. I’m already struggling as it is…

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
3:05 pm

Kindergarteners are precious!

UGA 1999

August 8th, 2011
3:10 pm

TenderRoni….what do you mean by “courting”?

TenderRoni

August 8th, 2011
3:11 pm

@Leggs- he said with courting that’s how women get caught with expecting a relationship or thinking they are in a relationship, when they haven’t learned how to be friends first.

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
3:12 pm

Remember Bille Joe McAllister…He jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge. If you remember the movie, that was “courting”

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
3:16 pm

@TenderRoni ~ he has a point there, but that should be established upfront. Not on date 3-4. On the first outing together you ask “are you looking to be in a relationship, if so, are we on our first date.” Hell, something to see if you two are on the same page. When you first meet someone they’re a stranger, so while the two of you are liking each other, what is the timeframe between now we are friends to now we can court!

And, what is “women get caught with ‘expecting’ a relationship.” If you’re courting me and I’m accepting, it has been stated, nonverbally, that we are heading toward a relationship if all this “courting” pans out! Another gameplay.

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
3:19 pm

I’m sorry, most of you wouldn’t know that movie…it is really, really old.

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
3:20 pm

he said with courting that’s how women get caught with expecting a relationship or thinking they are in a relationship, when they haven’t learned how to be friends first

What the french?? Do people communicate at all anymore??

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
3:20 pm

I know the song, Leggs….

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
3:22 pm

…..and cue the crickets…..

SexyCool

August 8th, 2011
3:26 pm

Tenderoni – did you ask him if he sleeps with his friends?

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
3:31 pm

Good for you, ITL…She told a story with that song.

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
3:32 pm

Good question, SC!

TenderRoni

August 8th, 2011
3:33 pm

Sorry but i listened to his ranting…which is funny.

@UGA99- traditional courtin, to me is the man pursuing the woman with the intention of being in a relationship with her.

@Leggs- he is going on and on about women not knowing how to be a friend

@SexCool- I will ask hime

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 8th, 2011
3:35 pm

ITL….The only way men want to communicate is horizontally! :roll:

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 8th, 2011
3:36 pm

ITL…you stole my “crickets” slogan! :lol:

kimmie

August 8th, 2011
3:36 pm

Dreams – That is so sweet! I took the kiddies back to school today, but they are big now, 4th and 6th grade! They, along with I, have been having a marvelous summer. The wedding in Vegas was the highlight of course. The kids had a blast there with my girlfriend and goddaughter while we honeymooned. Then a few weeks later the kids went to Chicago with their aunt & uncle for a family reunion. I took them up to the Bulldog Nation a few weeks ago to hang out & have lunch. We’ve had a blast!

SexyCool

August 8th, 2011
3:37 pm

ITL – I just got past the first ladies meeting in The Help. Very well written so far.

UGA 1999

August 8th, 2011
3:39 pm

TenderROni….wouldnt that be considered dating?

kimmie

August 8th, 2011
3:47 pm

Tenderoni – I’m with SCool, does he sleep with his friends? That’s a bunch of bull.

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
3:48 pm

LOL@BMW….you know they say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right??

SC, I’m so glad you’re enjoying it. That book really had an impact on me. There was a group of us at work that read the book together, so we’re going together to see the movie.

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
3:51 pm

@kimmie ~ of course it’s a bunch of BS, yet he wants the woman to think she’s messed up…yeah right!

Celisea

August 8th, 2011
3:54 pm

Afternoon all,

I see not much crackalacking in here today. Just popping in.

kimmie

August 8th, 2011
3:54 pm

Tenderoni – I bet the day he meets “the One” all that BS will fly right out of the window too. They know who to pull that mess on and who won’t stand for it.

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
3:58 pm

Sounds like buddy is just trying to make ‘friends to eventually have benefits with…not a relationship. Hollywood sure doesn’t help matters. I think there’s been at least 4 movies recently regarding the FWB setup.

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
3:59 pm

Yep, and he’ll be “courting” from day one!

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
4:10 pm

smh @ men like that.

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
4:14 pm

Bet he says he’s not scamming anyone. This is how he really believes. Again, yeah right!

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
4:15 pm

I doubt he really believes it. He might argue semantics or phrasing to justify his messiness, but he knows what he’s doing and he knows he wouldn’t like it if the situation were reversed.

SexyCool

August 8th, 2011
4:23 pm

If he’s sleeping with these chicks that don’t know how to be friends, then they are not friends. They are lovers. And whereas lovers should be friends, friends should not be lovers.

TenderRoni

August 8th, 2011
4:25 pm

OK he didn’t text me back about sleeping with his friends. to me he is a typical guy in atlanta, he has a lot of female be friends, casual date them but i can’t gauge if seriously wants a relationship. I know a girl just broke it off with him couple months ago, he probably still in bitter Bob syndrome.

SexyCool

August 8th, 2011
4:31 pm

If her seriously wanted a relationship, he would have said so.

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
4:33 pm

She probably broke it off cuz she’s fed up with his shennigans and game of semantics.

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
4:37 pm

SexyCool

August 8th, 2011
4:41 pm

If I had the relationship knowledge 10 years ago that I have know, I would have been an even bigger handful to deal with.

The problem with experience and wisdom is that, more often than not, you have to live a while to get it.

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
4:45 pm

The problem with experience and wisdom is that, more often than not, you have to live a while to get it

BAMS!!!

SexyCool

August 8th, 2011
4:45 pm

Actually, just general life experience period….with an added emphasis on self knowledge and financial decision making skills.