accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dating is not project management

I happened to catch a snippet of the Frank and Wanda radio show on TV the other night. I paused when I heard them describe men in Atlanta as Ikea Men, i.e. men you have to “put together” or assemble.

Apparently one of the callers had used this term and it caused a couple of laughs, but it kind of saddened me. I have a sense of humor, of course, but I was most bothered by the idea that some women in Atlanta consider dating to be some kind of project management.

Do you think that calling men projects or Ikea men is the way to a man’s heart?! I don’t get it. Whatever happened to, you know,
simply accepting a person for who they are – not who you want them to be?

What’s really sad is that women who don’t feel this way have to contend with this later. They have already met the women in Atlanta that goes around calling them Ikea Men. The type that made them feel less than just makes them bitter for the next woman. Am I the only one that sees this annoying trend?

It probably would be funny if it wasn’t so ridiculously frustrating to encounter men have dated those egomaniacal women and expect the same treatment.

I don’t want to point fingers and go on a scream tour of who’s to blame, but how do we get past it?

When you encounter people with bad attitudes and unhealthy views about relationships, how do you handle it?

Do you cut your losses and save your energy for someone who sees things the way you do?

If men in Atlanta are projects that have to be together, what do you think that makes women? Bob the Builder? Yeah, that’s sexy.

216 comments Add your comment

czBrat

August 8th, 2011
2:07 pm

no worries, ITL. i ate my cantaloupe instead. perhaps my appetite for cherries will return in a few.
(better chance of that if i stay off this blog though). LOL.

free yoga sessions in central park this wednesday. i’m on it! now who’s with me?

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
2:08 pm

I love mangos, but they are a pain in the arse to peel and slice. I can never seem to do it so that I don’t end up with a squishy mess.

czBrat

August 8th, 2011
2:14 pm

I can never seem to do it so that I don’t end up with a squishy mess.

LOL. really no way to avoid the squishy mess when it comes to mangos. best way to peel them is to quarter them off the pit then dice or slice them in the skin and scoop out the pieces.

but if you REALLY want to go exotic (and avoid the mess), learn to eat them green.

sidebar … i don’t know what this song on the radio is about, but i’m pretty sure the chick is saying “you’re gonna wish you never had met me”. :shock:

kimmie

August 8th, 2011
2:14 pm

What’s shakin, Dreams? How has your summer been?

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
2:14 pm

Where’s central park, czB???

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
2:19 pm

ITL – You just have to take your time. I used to peel them all the time for the ex because he always acted as if he was helpless when it came to that. Apparently, they never tasted the same unless I cut it up lol

I grew up on fruit so I try to eat it as much as possible.

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
2:19 pm

Green mangos??? That sounds like it could be rough on the tunkin’…..

Central Park as in NYC???
(ha! As I was typing NYC, I could hear that salsa commercial in my head…New York City???)

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
2:22 pm

Speaking of trying to cut stuff without a squishy mess….I sometimes have a hard time peeling and slicing kiwi fruit. I think maybe because it’s so small and by the time you get the skin off to try to slick it, it’s sliding around everywhere. I usually have to exercise the 3 seconds on the floor rule, after rinsing all the dirt and hair off of it first :lol:

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
2:22 pm

Slim, do you use the same method czB described, or do you have another method?

Y’all might laugh, but I actually googled this last summer, and almost bought a special knife just for cutting mangos. I consider myself to be pretty proficient in most things culinary, but the mango slicing is my achilles heel.

czBrat

August 8th, 2011
2:22 pm

atlantic station, leggs.

ITL, we used to call it “mango salad”. sliced green mangos drizzeled with vinegar, salt & pepper. doubt i could eat it now but did all the time growing up.

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
2:24 pm

On kiwis: I cut the ends off first, so that I have a flat surface. Then I stand it on end, and peel down in strips from top to bottom, then turn it sideways and slice.

i'm swiss™

August 8th, 2011
2:26 pm

If any of you ladies are interested, I could host a tutorial session on mango-eating best practices. Just putting it out there… :lol:

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
2:27 pm

Thanks, czB.

@SlimNu ~ you do know :arrow: “after rinsing all the dirt and hair off of it first” did not sound right. :lol: :lol: I got what you mean, it just didn’t sound right!

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
2:28 pm

LOL. I’m imagining the course listing for Swiss’s seminar.

A Bib or a Wet Shirt 101
Finger Licking 103
Stickiness is Your Friend 202

Dynamic

August 8th, 2011
2:30 pm

I think most relationships do require alot of work in order for them to last. I didn’t hear the Frank and Wanda show, but if that’s what they meant then I understand.

Women do like to be courted and taken out! For those men who disagree puleeze tell me who old are you and the women that you ask out and they say “oh no let’s just hit the sheets”

With the whole attraction to married people thing it goes both ways. What married people and people in healthy relationships need to realize is when you are happy and having sex on a regular basis you emit the natural happy hormones which are attractive and inviting to others. When your happy you have confidence that others find attractive. Just smile at them tell them no thanks and K.I.M.

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
2:36 pm

Leggs – Tu shae my dear…lol

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
2:38 pm

swiss – I saw some movie a while ago that had some outtakes at the end of the movie…it was some chick giving oral tutorial lessons using a mango…it was almost awkward to watch but funny at the same time. Anyone know what movie I’m talking about? Memory is fading…

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
2:41 pm

Did I see Dreams wander in here a moment ago??? Does that mean the blog bar will be open this afternoon??? (fingers crossed)

i'm swiss™

August 8th, 2011
2:43 pm

Slim — Yentle? :lol:

ITL — The “problem” of mango juice can usually be easily managed by simply eating the mango very slowly and drinking the juices in as you go. Now, occasionally you will run across a squirter & take some mango juice in the eye, but the reward is well worth the risk. :lol:

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
2:51 pm

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
2:52 pm

Can the crickets please leave and bring back my people….

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
2:52 pm

czBrat

August 8th, 2011
2:54 pm

aight. ILT messin with my cherry high and swiss puttin me off mangos for life.

i shoulda known.

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
2:57 pm

Some days, it’s hard to be a fruit lover….

I know!!!

August 8th, 2011
2:59 pm

@SlimNu – it was on Real Sex and there was an episode on CatHouse. Sorry I live for my HBO! I haven’t really seen it just heard about it somewhere(looking guilty cause I got it on tivo, for future reference) ;)

TenderRoni

August 8th, 2011
2:59 pm

Let me ask the blog: I just talked with a male friend of mine. I was asking if he believes in courting a woman? He says HELL NO!. He thinks there is a difference between courting and starting out as friends.

DreamsMaterialize

August 8th, 2011
2:59 pm

What’s shakin, Dreams? How has your summer been?
kimmie What good with you? The summer has been awesome. Hot, but awesome. I guess it’s offcially over since the babygirl started kindergarten this morning. Have you been enjoying your summer?

Did I see Dreams wander in here a moment ago??? Does that mean the blog bar will be open this afternoon???
ITL How are you? In the spirit of the conversation, how about a Mango Martini?

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
3:02 pm

@TenderRoni ~ you start out as friends is just that, friends…heck you can go dutch as friends. To start out and “court” someone, you are also starting out as friends with a goal toward different endings.

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
3:03 pm

Hey Dreamy! A mango martini sounds muy delicioso…..

Kindergarten!! Awwww, Big Girl! :)

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
3:03 pm

Ok, somebody needs to get it crackalackin up in here before I start doing the church nods up in this camp. I’m already struggling as it is…

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
3:05 pm

Kindergarteners are precious!

UGA 1999

August 8th, 2011
3:10 pm

TenderRoni….what do you mean by “courting”?

TenderRoni

August 8th, 2011
3:11 pm

@Leggs- he said with courting that’s how women get caught with expecting a relationship or thinking they are in a relationship, when they haven’t learned how to be friends first.

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
3:12 pm

Remember Bille Joe McAllister…He jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge. If you remember the movie, that was “courting”

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
3:16 pm

@TenderRoni ~ he has a point there, but that should be established upfront. Not on date 3-4. On the first outing together you ask “are you looking to be in a relationship, if so, are we on our first date.” Hell, something to see if you two are on the same page. When you first meet someone they’re a stranger, so while the two of you are liking each other, what is the timeframe between now we are friends to now we can court!

And, what is “women get caught with ‘expecting’ a relationship.” If you’re courting me and I’m accepting, it has been stated, nonverbally, that we are heading toward a relationship if all this “courting” pans out! Another gameplay.

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
3:19 pm

I’m sorry, most of you wouldn’t know that movie…it is really, really old.

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
3:20 pm

he said with courting that’s how women get caught with expecting a relationship or thinking they are in a relationship, when they haven’t learned how to be friends first

What the french?? Do people communicate at all anymore??

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
3:20 pm

I know the song, Leggs….

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
3:22 pm

…..and cue the crickets…..

SexyCool

August 8th, 2011
3:26 pm

Tenderoni – did you ask him if he sleeps with his friends?

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
3:31 pm

Good for you, ITL…She told a story with that song.

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
3:32 pm

Good question, SC!

TenderRoni

August 8th, 2011
3:33 pm

Sorry but i listened to his ranting…which is funny.

@UGA99- traditional courtin, to me is the man pursuing the woman with the intention of being in a relationship with her.

@Leggs- he is going on and on about women not knowing how to be a friend

@SexCool- I will ask hime

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 8th, 2011
3:35 pm

ITL….The only way men want to communicate is horizontally! :roll:

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 8th, 2011
3:36 pm

ITL…you stole my “crickets” slogan! :lol:

kimmie

August 8th, 2011
3:36 pm

Dreams – That is so sweet! I took the kiddies back to school today, but they are big now, 4th and 6th grade! They, along with I, have been having a marvelous summer. The wedding in Vegas was the highlight of course. The kids had a blast there with my girlfriend and goddaughter while we honeymooned. Then a few weeks later the kids went to Chicago with their aunt & uncle for a family reunion. I took them up to the Bulldog Nation a few weeks ago to hang out & have lunch. We’ve had a blast!

SexyCool

August 8th, 2011
3:37 pm

ITL – I just got past the first ladies meeting in The Help. Very well written so far.

UGA 1999

August 8th, 2011
3:39 pm

TenderROni….wouldnt that be considered dating?

kimmie

August 8th, 2011
3:47 pm

Tenderoni – I’m with SCool, does he sleep with his friends? That’s a bunch of bull.

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
3:48 pm

LOL@BMW….you know they say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right??

SC, I’m so glad you’re enjoying it. That book really had an impact on me. There was a group of us at work that read the book together, so we’re going together to see the movie.