accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dating is not project management

I happened to catch a snippet of the Frank and Wanda radio show on TV the other night. I paused when I heard them describe men in Atlanta as Ikea Men, i.e. men you have to “put together” or assemble.

Apparently one of the callers had used this term and it caused a couple of laughs, but it kind of saddened me. I have a sense of humor, of course, but I was most bothered by the idea that some women in Atlanta consider dating to be some kind of project management.

Do you think that calling men projects or Ikea men is the way to a man’s heart?! I don’t get it. Whatever happened to, you know,
simply accepting a person for who they are – not who you want them to be?

What’s really sad is that women who don’t feel this way have to contend with this later. They have already met the women in Atlanta that goes around calling them Ikea Men. The type that made them feel less than just makes them bitter for the next woman. Am I the only one that sees this annoying trend?

It probably would be funny if it wasn’t so ridiculously frustrating to encounter men have dated those egomaniacal women and expect the same treatment.

I don’t want to point fingers and go on a scream tour of who’s to blame, but how do we get past it?

When you encounter people with bad attitudes and unhealthy views about relationships, how do you handle it?

Do you cut your losses and save your energy for someone who sees things the way you do?

If men in Atlanta are projects that have to be together, what do you think that makes women? Bob the Builder? Yeah, that’s sexy.

216 comments Add your comment

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 8th, 2011
11:35 am

It is too much friggin’ work to try to change someone. Please be who and what you are from the start. Show me you’re an @$$hole now, so I don’t waste my time!
I put my personality on display from the jump. You will know I have zero tolerance for BS and will not baby nor ego stroke a grown man! Also, I am nice until you push me or make me go zero to crazy chick in 2 seconds. You will also know I am goofy, not stuck up like men always tell me they thought I’d be (which I still don’t understand that). How do you LOOK stuck up? I smile and act crazy most of the time. I love to joke and have fun.Life’s a Beyotch…laugh it up!

kimmie

August 8th, 2011
11:36 am

Slim – I’m like that about cooked carrots. For some reason, I’ve loved spinach in any form since I was a baby. Mom said I used to love that Gerber spinach that looked almost black! Now, some fresh spinach sauteed with garlic and a little butter or olive oil or raw in a salad, I love it.

I got them to like zuchinni by making an italian cassarole with fresh tomatoes, onions, mozzarella & parm cheeses and italian herbs. My mom used to make it and we went crazy over it.

Zuchinni is also good sliced with a little olive oil and seasoning and cooked on the grill.

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
11:37 am

cba, LOL no way, I am patriotic but not that patriotic. Just farm living and exercising :) RIP to those who died in that helicopter crash.

Did anyone see/read this?
http://www.cnn.com/2011/CRIME/08/06/mississippi.hate.crime/index.html?

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
11:38 am

Sexy Cool, :) after a certain point it becomes a lifestyle and you my friend are there. LOL

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
11:41 am

kimmie – you’re making me hungry…imma need some of yall’s recipes so I can hook up some different dishes.

SexyCool

August 8th, 2011
11:41 am

True, Purp. Now, I am working to make permanent changes to my eating/cooking/grocery buying habits. And I must say, I am coming along quite nicely.

IMO

August 8th, 2011
11:44 am

The idea of a project man takes me back to the scene from Daddy’s Little Girls when Gabrielle Union’s character is out to dinner with the pimpish character played by Craig Robinson. Professionally, he’s a mess and she’s 14k gold. But that’s where the differences end – they are both at square one relationship-wise. For me if it all goes back to the idea that people want to equate relationship merit/worth with professional status. And if we view it in those terms, then advantage black women, especially in Atlanta. I have met woman doctors, lawyers, bankers, and others with some of the ugliest ways. But somehow they see themselves as the most attractive or carrying the greatest status. Depressing. All I can do is raise any little man I have to balance things out in the future.

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
11:46 am

SexyCool, your body doesn’t lie to you. Certain things that you used to crave/like will become sour to the taste as soon as you put it in your mouth

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
11:56 am

Certain things that you used to crave/like will become sour to the taste as soon as you put it in your mouth

I’m spanking my own hand because my mind did shoot to the gutter on this one :shock:

cba

August 8th, 2011
11:57 am

PR, they were just discussing that crime on the Warren Ballentine’s show.
At first, I thought this happened years ago. I can already hear some people, one who posts on here, it was just a teenager prank that went astray. Yeah, right.

SexyCool

August 8th, 2011
12:01 pm

TheDude and I went to the Table of Brotherhood Project at Morehouse on Saturday. I wish I had known about it earlier. I would have liked to invite some folks out to it. It was an interesting conversation. I just hope it wasn’t all talk.

i'm swiss™

August 8th, 2011
12:09 pm

Purple — Stories like that are why I have philosophical problem with the death penalty. Some people are just plain evil and ought to be put down.

i'm swiss™

August 8th, 2011
12:10 pm

Should have been “… why I have *no* philosophical problem….”

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 8th, 2011
12:18 pm

SLIM…you know you are not spanking your hand. You are spanking you own butt! Ok, men…have a field day with that one! :lol:

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
12:21 pm

LOL@Slim, I was not being nasty that time. BMW, I was being nasty if you read it that way. LOL

cba, I thought about UGA 1999 as soon as I read that and wonder what his explanation would be especially after reading what they quoted the kid as saying.

Swiss, in situations like think I support the Death Penalty, they caught the whole thing on video.

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
12:21 pm

Eric, sexed the heck out of Sookie. LOL

SexyCool

August 8th, 2011
12:21 pm

Purp – my main goal right now is to significantly lower the amount of processed foods that I bring into our house and that we put into our bodies. I am already doing a pretty decent job of it. I just know that I can do better.

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
12:29 pm

SexyCool, good job!

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
12:31 pm

CNN has the video on their site. That is terrible. It’s a learned behavior.

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 8th, 2011
12:32 pm

PURPLE…I was eating Oreo’s (DQ blizzard flavored) for the first time as I watched True Blood. I took my first bite right when Sookie and Eric were getting busy. I yelled “Sweet Baby Jesus” because that cookie was so friggin’ good and then that scene (sweating as I have flashbacks), that did it. I was already in love with Eric Northman! Alcide was getting it in too, until his girl took the steam out of his engine! Now I am totally in lust, I mean love with them both! :lol:

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
12:41 pm

BMW, Eric did her from the midlle of the forrest all the way to her floor then bed(lol they left their clothes in the woods). I really don’t get into the sex scenes to much unless it’s girl on girl but Eric did her good. LOL Those wolves should have been more intense. LOL Sookie is such a tramp. I wonder whatthe possessed Marnie is up to and I wonder how the sissy is going to do now that he knows he is a medium.

For Real

August 8th, 2011
12:49 pm

“Sissy Medium” – Not that’s funny as hell!!!

Purple Reign

August 8th, 2011
12:53 pm

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
1:05 pm

I hope this orange Fanta gives me the pep I need right now because….i’m….losing….mo men tum fast… .. _______

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 8th, 2011
1:06 pm

Well I think Alcide was going for it…but Debbie was a downer! :lol: It could have been hot wild sweaty Wolf sex! :lol:

I read the True Blood books and Eric and Sookie are not temporary in the books. But you know for TV they may change it.

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
1:09 pm

Not Fanta Orange….that’s my long lost buddy!!!

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
1:14 pm

Daaaaaan Purp – That video makes me sad….

TenderRoni

August 8th, 2011
1:15 pm

True Blood was good last night. Sookie gets her freak on!

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
1:15 pm

Leggs – I REALLY prefer the grape Fanta though…has just the right amount of Ahhhhh to it ;-)

i'm swiss™

August 8th, 2011
1:18 pm

Slim / Leggs — Does Fanta even have any caffeine? They are tasty, though. Personally, I’m going with the cherry coke zero. Had to go “zero” ‘cos you know I prefer my cherries in a black container… :lol:

BA-DUMP-BUMP, TING!

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
1:20 pm

@swiss ~ I started to post about all the sweet cheeries I ate this morning, but didn’t cuz I knew you would rip it apart. I don’t know if there’s any caffeine in Fanta???

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
1:31 pm

Hey y’all!

Scanning and trying to catch up. True Blood was so-so last night. Debbie Downer is on my nerves; she’s got the hottest guy on the show and still whining? Puhleeze!
Two things kinda bug me about the show: 1/it seems like nobody can just be an average human, everybody has to be something – a medium, a fairy, a vampire, etc… and 2/I know Eric is super-hot, and he’s “changed”, but how do you get past all the raping and torturing and bad stuff to sleep with him? IJS….

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
1:33 pm

swiss – I’m not sure about caffeine but it shole has enough sugar in it. lol

Leggs – I’ve been craving some cherries lately.

i'm swiss™

August 8th, 2011
1:33 pm

Leggs — Yeeeeeeeeeeeesssssss, I have been know to tear up some cherries… :lol:

Oh, blog tennis report: 2nd round playoff match (after a 1st round bye): 6-2, 6-4 win. Good serving day for me — dude only got 1 point against my serve in the whole first set & that came on a double-fault when I went for an ace on a 2nd serve, already up 40-love in the game. :D

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
1:44 pm

Congrats, Swiss!

(Overheard at a bar):
Girl A: You know I’m still a virgin
Girl B: Yeah, right…
Girl A: It’s true. I still have my cherry….
Girl B: Honey, please. That thing’s pushed back so far you could use it as a tail light!!

kimmie

August 8th, 2011
1:45 pm

4 Real – Did you see Breaking Bad last night? Walter’s lawyer cracks me up!

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
1:46 pm

@SlimNu ~ I got mine from Aldi’s and they were delicious!!!

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
1:48 pm

“Girl B: Honey, please. That thing’s pushed back so far you could use it as a tail light!!”

OH MY!

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
1:48 pm

Leggs, you can’t beat Aldi’s prices for produce. And what I’ve bought there has always been good quality and fresh.

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
1:51 pm

I bought my cherries 3 weeks ago and ate the last batch this morning. @ITL, have you noticed how long their bread stays fresh? Loving that store…

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
1:53 pm

Don’t usually buy bread…. Their frozen stuff is good, especially their frozen fish and frozen fruit.

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
1:54 pm

I’ve never heard of Aldi having great produce but I might have to check that out since cherries can be expensive. I bought some green & red grapes from Publix last week and they were SOOOOOO dayum goood. Firm yet sweet & juicy

czBrat

August 8th, 2011
1:55 pm

Hi Yas!

popping in late cuz it’s been a real monday around here. on topic: i find the term “Ikea men” as disturbing as “starter marriage”. we have truly become disillusioned about healthy relationships.

don’t watch true blood and don’t like orange soda, but i have been indulging in sweet summer cherries these past couple of weeks. although ITLs post makes me wanna skip my afternoon snack. :sad:

awesome, swiss!! congrats!

DreamsMaterialize

August 8th, 2011
1:56 pm

Hey Everyone.

Everyone has some things they need to work on in their life. While I appreciate support in doing that, it would be insulting for someone to consider my serious issues a “project.” I don’t need to be dusted off or have my rough edges smoothed. If you want a project to work on, then Michael’s has everything you need…leave me the he!! alone though.

How’s everyone been?

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
1:57 pm

@SlimNU ~ Aldi’s has great plums, peaches, fresh broccoli, corn on the cobb, grapes, cucumbers, lettuce, etc. For me, however, stay away from their mangos…all that I’ve taken home have been horrible.

Leggs

August 8th, 2011
2:00 pm

I made my delicious breakfast casserole last night with product from Aldi’s (except the sausage). I can just slice my Senior a square for breafast with a glass of OJ and viola, breakfast is ready in 2 mins!

Da_Man!

August 8th, 2011
2:02 pm

Not that I’m taking “IKEA-man” personally but I’m always under the impression that both men & women are “assembling required” projects. I fact, don’t really mind being that “IKEA-man”, at least IKEA gives you extra assembling peices & tools to use. Sure wouldn’t want to be a “Wal-Mart-anything” … little style, defective out the box, missing parts, loose screws & sh** …

Into the Light

August 8th, 2011
2:03 pm

Oopsie… Sorry, cz. :(

I can just slice my Senior a square for breafast Yay! Proud mommy of a senior!!

SlimNu

August 8th, 2011
2:04 pm

Leggs – Not to worry, I don’t even like mangos.

abc

August 8th, 2011
2:05 pm

Speaking of a hopeless project, Kanye says people look at him as if he’s insane, as if he’s Hitler. It’s hard to imagine that he’d notice, what with there apparently being nobody else in the world but him, from his own perspective.