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Should you propose in public?

I am a sucker for romance, so seeing or hearing a public proposal is the ultimate romantic gesture in my book. I am so fascinated by people who go to great lengths to propose.

Recently, I saw a Youtube proposal of a man who proposed to his girlfriend in public. She turned him down, rather coldly – I might add, and suddenly I wondered if public proposals are actually a bad idea.

When you are proposing for all the wrong reasons, it’s more than a bad idea, it’s a jerk move. If the grand gesture is actually a front for “I got caught cheating and this public proposal will get me out of the dog house” – then yeah, not a smart – or romantic way to go.

I used to think that I would just melt over a public proposal from the man I wanted to marry – now, I am convinced that a private and intimate moment is more like it.

What do you think? Would you want to have someone propose to you in front of friends, family, or perfect strangers?

Would you ever propose in public?

By Wise Diva Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

268 comments Add your comment

FIRST

August 3rd, 2011
7:18 am

PUBIC PROPOSALS ALL THE WAY!!!!!

Purple Rain

August 3rd, 2011
7:22 am

Who proposes because they got caught cheating? I see nothing wrong with proposing in public, if you are scared she may say no….its probably not the time to propose anyway. Who cares where it happens or who is around as long as the proposal is genuine.

Lemonhead

August 3rd, 2011
7:25 am

I’m lovin me some Don Lemon from CNN – That thang is SEXY!

B00 G0T SH0T !!

August 3rd, 2011
7:25 am

Should you propose in public?

Only if you are an Attention-Wh0re.

Should you propose in public AND put it on YouTube?

Only if you are am Attention-Wh0re & a simpleton who never considers their own future.

B00 G0T SH0T !!

August 3rd, 2011
7:26 am

Wouldn’t a public C0NCEPTI0N get a more attentive and appreciative audience than a public Proposal?

Ochocinco

August 3rd, 2011
7:28 am

@B00 – Bite me

Evelyn

August 3rd, 2011
7:31 am

Dammit I don’t care if it’s on C-Span – just gimmie my ring fool!
btw @B00 yousa non-mtherfukin factor beyotch!

Ali14

August 3rd, 2011
8:02 am

my fiance proposed to me 1 month ago in Cancun. he did it in public, but it was private at the same time. there was an excursion that you could book with our hotel that was a “romantic dinner” on the beach. unfortunately inclement weather caused the dinner to be moved inside, but it was still romantic. there were other couples taking part in the dinner, but the setting was very intimate for us. he proposed after dinner while some people were still in the room. it was still private for me, but just happened to be in a room with other people. it was wonderful :)

Exiled!

August 3rd, 2011
8:10 am

Uall blogging at 7.00 am?

Get a life people!

Sweet Pea

August 3rd, 2011
8:14 am

Good Morning!

I don’t think it should really matter where it’s done as long as it’s sincere. I would hope the potential bride to be would be receptive of however it’s done. If not then oh well!

Hey Purp! I checked my heels and they all are even with the exception of a couple pair of shoes that appeared to be more worned on the inner sides. I did 3 miles yesterday(fast walking and jogging) for 30 minutes while I watched a perverted jerk scoping out my son. I thought I was going to have to catch a case in the park, however my son handled it well by not responding at all. Geesh you can’t go anywhere without having to be on the lookout at all times :x

Simple Man......

August 3rd, 2011
8:19 am

20 days and counting……..

On topic….Under no circumstance would I EVER propose in public..It has always come across as a trap set-up for the lady. It puts her in a position where she almost has to say yes, or risk embarrasing you or herself. it seems to me that something so personal and so intimate would be so much more meaningful if it did not come right after the guy in gorilla suite dunked a basketball while riding a unicycle…….

Button

August 3rd, 2011
8:33 am

I see nothing wrong with proposing in public, I think it’s sweet and genuine. I’d rather him propose than not and have me sitting there waiting wondering if/when he’s going to pop the question.

Sweet Pea

August 3rd, 2011
8:37 am

Simple~ your post made me think about The Bachelor and The Bachelorette shows. How humiliating can it be when you are rejected while millions are watching and now your face will be the poster child for an embarrassing act! I normally won’t tune in to watch it, however I was glued in to The Bachelorette that ended on Monday and I felt bad for many of them. Nevertheless, they are aware of what they signed up for and know that it’s a great probability they won’t be the chosen one.

Purple Rain

August 3rd, 2011
8:43 am

Sweet, good job keep it up, practice good posture and stride :)

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 3rd, 2011
8:44 am

A lawyer told me many years ago that one should never ask a question in court if you do not already know the answer…same here.

Lady Strange

August 3rd, 2011
8:47 am

Either is acceptable. As long as it is thought out and not while you’re out shopping or something. Put some romance in it!

Purple Reign

August 3rd, 2011
9:06 am

Exiled, stop sleeping your day away get up and get a life ;) LOL I have already got a full day of work in since 4am your time, done a six mile run and put a smile in the wifes face. Have you even brushed your teeth yet? LOL

Into the Light

August 3rd, 2011
9:08 am

Good morning, all.

On topic: Either would be okay with me, although I would lean toward a private proposal. It’s such a personal moment, I don’t know that I would want anyone there except the two of us. But it better be romantic, with maybe a little humor/fun….

Leggs

August 3rd, 2011
9:10 am

Good morning….

@Evelyn ~ perhaps I shouldn’t, but that phrase cracks me up each and every time.

Nothing wrong with proposing in public, but what a huge risk to take if she should say no. I’m with SimpleM on this one, she may say yes just to avoid embarrassing you and herself and recant once you guys get behind doors.

Nonetheless, one shouldn’t propose unless they are sure she would say yes. If the relationship is rocky, a proposal isn’t going to “right” it.

@PR ~ not sure if this is a good time or not, but I did my run in 26.48.

Simple Man......

August 3rd, 2011
9:11 am

I imagine there was a time when it was considered romantic, but now, in so many ways, it has just gotten kinda cheesy…I can’t think of any way to propose in public that does not come across as contrived.. A few months ago I was at Dantes’ down the hatch and as the set ended, a guy walked over and the band leader let him ask his date to marry him…The look on her face was one of total fear!!! I felt so bad for her and I do not even know what her answer was…..

Into the Light

August 3rd, 2011
9:12 am

I don’t get the not knowing what she would say deal…. To my way of thinking, if you’re at that point that marriage is on the table, then you’ve discussed it and should be on the same page., ergo, you know the answer before you ask…

Ali14

August 3rd, 2011
9:14 am

into the light has a good point…

someone shouldnt propose unless they are confident their significant other will say yes, so in public or in private is really just a preference issue.

Into the Light

August 3rd, 2011
9:14 am

Oh, and PR, I’m on the training wagon. I’m embarrassed to post my time, but I did start. The journey of 1000 miles…..

Purple Reign

August 3rd, 2011
9:14 am

Leggs you did two miles in 26.48? NOt bad, not bad at all! Very impressive for a first run! We need to send out a email to spot check on everyone.

yello

August 3rd, 2011
9:17 am

@Randyt, ~ Got that right. Should never propose if you aren’t sure of the answer. Are we twins?
@Leggs ~ We not twins but you right on the money. Marriage isn’t going to “fix” a bad relationship.

I’d rather a private proposal, but it could be in a public place like a restaurant if it were discreet. It’s just such an intimate moment, I don’t want the beer swillers of Turner Field in on it….

and I think my man might be thinking about it. He’s hinting around.

Purple Reign

August 3rd, 2011
9:20 am

ITL, I did 6 miles in 43 minutes this morning, but for you it’s not about time, not yet…that is months down the road. I am happy you started. No need to be embarrassed at all, you are doing something and reaching for your goal!

czBrat

August 3rd, 2011
9:23 am

Hi Yas!

Simple Man said it best. i often wonder how many of those public proposals bring on a forced “yes” in order to avoid embarassment but never actually make it to the alter. i cherish my private, intimate proposals. i think dudes know i am unpredictable and very introverted. two excellent reasons to keep it behind closed doors.

if you’re at that point that marriage is on the table, then you’ve discussed it and should be on the same page agreed.
as for the times i’ve had to decline; i can honestly say that i made it clear i was not ready for marriage. in both cases, because the relationship was going strong and looking very good for the long-term i think the dudes were simply ready to take a chance that i’d changed my mind. but i hadn’t.

czBrat

August 3rd, 2011
9:26 am

dont feel bad ITL. i’ve been running fairly consistently for about a year now and i’m still only doing a 13-minute mile. so these times the blogettes are clocking are super impressive!

Purple Reign

August 3rd, 2011
9:27 am

If you are proposing to someone hopefully they respect you enough to tell you “no” instead of just saying “yes” because you are in public.

Purple Reign

August 3rd, 2011
9:28 am

Please do not get caught up in time, it’s about just getting out there and moving.

Into the Light

August 3rd, 2011
9:28 am

Thanks, PR and cz. :) I feel like the tortoise…slow and steady wins the race. ;)

I’m in training for the rest of the day. Y’all have a good one….

Leggs

August 3rd, 2011
9:28 am

Whew, thanks PR (LOL). I wanted to do it under 30 mins. Now, I’m pumped to join the Corporate Challenge (10K) this year. It’s been a minute since I particpated in one.

@ITL ~ girl, it’s all good…it’s all about starting and you started! Fist Pumps!

Leggs

August 3rd, 2011
9:29 am

@yello ~ today, I’m your twin!

Purple Reign

August 3rd, 2011
9:31 am

Leggs, you must be in some kind of shape, …you just went out there and did that first time out is very impressive.

yello

August 3rd, 2011
9:32 am

@PR agree! and even with the embarrassment and expense of a wedding, one can ALWAYS back out of it before the final “I do”. Better that than a divorce later on. I actually went to a wedding where the bride stood at the altar, white dress and all, and walked away. The guests of course were shocked, but most of them were also saying, “well, better than making a mistake”. I suspect a lot of people accept a proposal because they want a wedding, and not a marriage.

yello

August 3rd, 2011
9:33 am

@ Leggs ~ now I feel happy! :)

Leggs

August 3rd, 2011
9:36 am

@PR ~ thank you! I’m not in bad shape. I have good stamina, it’s just my little plug of meat (stomach) that really needs work. Cruches, planks, curls I don’t like but have to do it. Well, I do love planks. I like testing my mind to not give up.

Purple Rain

August 3rd, 2011
9:40 am

Yello, I’ve had that happen to me

Purple Rain

August 3rd, 2011
9:41 am

Lol had the wedding planned and paid for, then she left. I can laugh at it now

Leggs

August 3rd, 2011
9:41 am

@PR ~ I walk a walking trail with 2 other women. They call me the “drill sargent” because I keep telling them to stop that strolling and walk with some speeed. Heck, what’s the sense of walking the trail if you’re moseying along slower than a turtle. I can’t do that.

Sorry, curls has nothing to do with stomach area!

yello

August 3rd, 2011
9:46 am

@PR sure that sucked at the time, but bet you glad you didnt marry her either

Sweet Pea

August 3rd, 2011
9:47 am

I suspect a lot of people accept a proposal because they want a wedding, and not a marriage

I believe a lot of that is happening these days due to the increasing rate in divorce. Why waste money and hurt feelings knowing the demise of it(marriage) existed from the very beginning?

Thanks Purp! Can Leggs send a copy of the plan to me?

Big UPs to Leggs, ITL, and others who are on the fitness journey!!! ;)

hazel

August 3rd, 2011
9:53 am

Public proposals are great. As long as you know that she/he will say yes. And romantic, private ones are okay as well.
For those who mock them as wanting attention, sounds like someone is bitter.
When someone gets proposed in public, that means that the person proposing is very proud of his love and wants to share this special moment with the world. And I find nothing wrong with that. There should be more public proposals…Ive only seen one

Jeff

August 3rd, 2011
9:55 am

It’s a private issue and anyone who does it for everyone else’s approval isn’t doing it for the right reasons.

Leggs

August 3rd, 2011
9:58 am

I cannot hit MegaMillions. But, I seem to always hit the MegaBall. I think it should be awarded more than a mere $3 (lol).

I am the Blog Secretary (sure wish this was a paying gig)! :wink:

Sweet Pea

August 3rd, 2011
9:59 am

@Leggs~I noticed a lot of strolling and no speed walking yesterday.
I jogged on by em’ and kept the momentum flowing. There were two African sisters who were going uphill and breathing heavily while I whisked on by when all of a sudden they were talking in their native language….hmmmmmm I wish I had an interpreter with me they probably were having a Monique moment, but it’s all good ;)

abc

August 3rd, 2011
10:01 am

Public proposals are a fool’s move. How about a tweet and a Facebook status change. Just pathetic. People are such attention hounds these days, it’s just a darn shame.

Leggs

August 3rd, 2011
10:07 am

LOL…could be, Sweet Pea!

czBrat

August 3rd, 2011
10:08 am

Sweet, you are a foolish brave soul to do your run/walk outdoors in this weather. i can do 2-3 miles on the treadmill, but call myself taking my run outside i get about 1/4 mile uphill and quit!

Just Call Me G

August 3rd, 2011
10:20 am

I think either works it just depends on the people. i think a proposal should be unique to reflect the peoples relationship who is involved. I do agree with you guys that a lot of people get engaged for the simple fact that they look forward to the wedding but don’t consider the things that come after it and how hard it is. That is what scares me the most when I think about getting engaged but I am only 24..not that age matters much!