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Archive for July, 2011

Best breakup advice?

When a dating relationship ends, it can sometimes be hard to move on. It helps to be resilient and find ways to get over a break up, but it doesn’t come easy for everyone!

I often marvel at how fast guys seem to move on. One of my friends books a Vegas trip when he breaks up with a long-term girlfriend. He says it’s the best thing to keep his mind off of her and his fingers off the cell phone.

What do you do after a break up? What is the best plan of action when you want to get your ex out of your mind, and even your
heart?

How long does it take for you to get over someone you really cared about?

I have heard all kinds of crazy advice about how to handle a break up. From cutting your hair, to boxing up all the relationship memories and burning it. Oh, and my personal favorite: spend many hours in a strip club.

What is your best break up advice? How do you know when you are over your ex and ready for the next?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Falling in love?

Some people don’t handle falling in love well. It can be an exhilarating, wonderful experience. However, there are also times when it makes you, well.. stupid. Or perhaps just foolishly in love.

I call this the “caught up” stage because this is when you make dumb decisions, overlook red flags and basically toss out all rationale and logic as you fall head over heels.

My inner control freak wonders, is there a way to soften the blow when you fall in love? Is it possible to contain and manage your emotions so you won’t make choices you may regret later?

What do you when you feel yourself headed in the direction of “head over heels” or intense feelings for someone? Many guys have told me they ignore it…as long as they can. They sort of prolong the inevitable – a woman having power over them, or impacting their lives in a major way. Does that work? If it does, I will totally try it!

Ladies, what happens after you realize you are falling for someone?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures …

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Telltale signs of a booty call

There may come a time when you have to ask the tough question: Am I just a booty call? It would seem that this would be an easy thing to figure out, but alas..dating is not always easy.  Sometimes you have mixed signals, double talk, sweet talk, lip service (not the good kind), and plain old jedi mind tricks.

So what are the signs that let you know you are just there for entertainment?  Few people come out and say, “Hey you are just something to do until somebody else comes along” but their actions somewhat support that statement.

Guys do you know (or care?) when you are being considered only as the maintenance man?  Would you prefer to be told that it’s never going anywhere, so just enjoy the ride while it lasts?

What are the top telltale signs…you’re just a booty call?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Telltale signs of a booty call »

Who the (Bleep) did I marry?

How well do you think you know the person that you are dating? Do believe they are who they say they are?

I had a chance to preview Investigation Discovery’s show, “Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?”, which examines “the tales of deep, dark secrets” that surfaced after someone tied the knot.

The show will begin it’s second season on Wednesday, July 13 at 10:00 pm (ET) and features the story of Atlanta’s Tammi McCreary. She was once married to Eric Perteet who pretended to be a doctor – among other things.

Some of you may remember hearing or reading about it in the news in 2008.

The show is pretty fascinating and it definitely answered some of the questions I had. As I watched the show I was thinking, “This guy belongs in the Liar’s Hall of Fame!”

Dating misadventures like this really make you think twice about how to navigate the dating scene! Background checks may not even be enough anymore. Meeting acquaintances and family members could give you more insight as well.

I …

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How loyal are you?

Recently, I read a joke that men can rationalize cheating on their woman and sleep fine at night, yet somehow can feel guilty going to a different barber.

Although it was a joke, I thought that men really can view loyalty different in the context of a relationship. What role does loyalty have in relationships, though?

Is loyalty important to you? I ask because loyalty is something we say matters but our actions often prove otherwise. How close is love and loyalty, in your opinion?

How and when do you decide to be loyal to someone? Is it after they have shown themselves to be reliable and trustworthy? What happens when they mess up? Do you stop being loyal forever?

Who would you say is more loyal, men or women? Is it even fair to compare since we show our loyalty in different ways?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading How loyal are you? »

Experiencing post-hook up weirdness?

My friend David has had his first post-divorce dating misadventure and he is already confused. It seems that he was surprised that women no longer want to sleep over after “doing the do.” I felt bad for him because he took it personally and worried that he did something wrong.

Everyone has “the morning after” or post-hook up behavior and rituals. It doesn’t always mean something good or bad. Sometimes women won’t feel like cuddling, talking, or even hanging around long (I know that sounds like the perfect woman to some men!) – you can rarely predict that kind of thing though.

Have you ever been confused about something a person did after you hooked up with them?

Do you think that it was solely because sex was involved?

Do you have any post-hook up patterns that you didn’t notice you had until someone called you on it?

Do you act differently afterwards?

Continue reading Experiencing post-hook up weirdness? »

Are you guilty of speed dating?

Have you ever met someone and liked them so much you wanted to fast forward through the awkward and unknown phase? It’s tricky because you don’t want to go too fast and you don’t want to back off either. Is there a way to balance it out and go at a nice and steady pace?

I think that when you are speed dating, you end up alluding to, or bringing up sex in a way that could come across as too eager. A lot of guys want to smash before date three. I’m sure some men would say they experience the same urgency with the women they meet too. What is the big hurry!?

I remember one guy once telling me that he expected to close the deal before he would even consider a relationship. I gave him my best “But…but..we just met” response. That is when I learned that you should date the people that want the same things that you do..in the same time frame. It’s not as easy as it sounds!

How do you handle it when you are seeing someone you really like but they are pushing things too fast? …

Continue reading Are you guilty of speed dating? »

Triple Extracurricular Activities

A reader emailed me about a relationship issue she is dealing with now that she has moved in with her man. He spends a great deal of time and money on “adult entertainment” and it bothers her.

She thinks that now that she lives with him, he shouldn’t need those extracurricular activities! She wants to know: Should she let him know that it bothers her? Is it unfair to ask him to reduce or eliminate his consumption?

I can relate since I once dated a dude with trashbags full of his favorites. Trash. Bags. Full. Yeah, that was one of many reasons things didn’t work out between us. Truthfully, I never actually told him that bothered me and I regret that.

I want to help our reader out because I’ve been there before and my response was to ignore it. I don’t think that is “wise” at all, so what do you guys think?

What would you do if you were in either position? Would you bring it up if it was the other person’s unhealthy fixation?

Would you be bothered if someone told you …

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Just like one of the guys

When a single woman suddenly realizes she has an entire collection of guy friends, she probably will wonder, “Why aren’t I dating any of my amazing guy friends?!”

I think being just like one of the guys has it’s perks, but what should a girl do when all she gets invited to are boy’s night out? Once a guy perceives a girl as a homie, one of the guys, could she ever make him see her differently?

Guys do men like women who are cool and non-girly? If these are the types that seem low maintenance, why is it hard to ask them out? Why go for the high maintenance type if being like one of the guys is a positive thing?

by Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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What about your dating reputation?

It can be hard to pull off a “blind date” these days. Once you get the person’s full name, you can usually do a little recon on them. Whether it is through mutual friends (six degrees of separation feels like .5 degrees in Atlanta sometimes!) – or a quick Internet search, your reputation can easily be tracked.

This is especially true when you are a raging jerk with anger issues, a conceited, narcissistic moron, or my personal favorite married but still looking chump. If you have a laundry list of romantic crimes, eventually it may ruin your chances with someone you actually like.

I used to wonder if the singles who treated people so horribly would ever have to answer for all those dating misadventures. Do they ever think about or care about their dating reputation?

Have you ever done a google search for your name to see if something unfavorable pops up? Do you ever worry about your romantic past haunting your future?

If you had to guess, what kind of dating reputation do you …

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