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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Is living together like marriage?

One of my friends recently broke up with her long term boyfriend. They had been living together for years and she is having a hard time with the break up.

She said that they had merged their lives so much, it feels like she is going through a divorce. From finances to owning a pet together, untangling their lives is pretty painful.

While I won’t take away from her pain, I wondered if leaving a live-in situation could be compared to a marriage. Is living together that much like a marriage?

Does it have the same pros and cons? When a couple is “playing house” are they enjoying the benefits of marriage without the big commitment?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

401 comments Add your comment

i'm swiss™

July 28th, 2011
4:44 pm

I’m in the ZONE!

Sassy Black..Who gone check me BOO? ;-)

July 28th, 2011
4:44 pm

Did you go to any of the ATC matches?

No Swiss…I didn’t unfortunately. But I watch Isner whenever I can…as a matter of fact I watch tennis whenever I can from the small tournaments to the big three.

Purple Rain

July 28th, 2011
4:46 pm

Sexy Cool and Demi, I sent you the plan as well.

SlimNu

July 28th, 2011
4:47 pm

SC – Yeah I’m a writer all right…getting paid writers money before they publish any books lol…Would you like to donate to my Writers Fund and YOU can write it off as charity on your taxes ;-)

i'm swiss™

July 28th, 2011
4:47 pm

Oh, see now, I wish I’d known. I had 4 free tix to the day session on Saturday (this Isner / Mueller match) and ended up only using 2 of them….

Sassy Black..Who gone check me BOO? ;-)

July 28th, 2011
4:48 pm

I am laughing at you SlimNu. First there’s blood on the door and is shirt, and now your wrist is killing you.

Okay Leggs?!…the possibilities are limitless…could’ve been a hand stand or a bj or…..

Leggs

July 28th, 2011
4:55 pm

OMG, swiss, you’re quick (as usual)…umm, nevamind!

Wrist curls – priceless!

Leggs

July 28th, 2011
4:56 pm

@Sassy ~ the possibilities are endless, that’s why I’m cracking up!

Purple Rain

July 28th, 2011
4:58 pm

Swiss, Leggs said you are “quick” as usual. Umm, LOL

Sassy Black..Who gone check me BOO? ;-)

July 28th, 2011
4:59 pm

Leggs,It reminds me of that movie with Al Pacino and that ole blonde lady called “Sea of Love”.

Simple Man.....

July 28th, 2011
5:00 pm

BUSTING IN THE DOOR!!!!!!!…….Shenis???? Polking a thin-a-ling in the back door???? OK…I am going back to Albany caues you guys have lost your dayum minds……..

i'm swiss™

July 28th, 2011
5:00 pm

Awww… Look at you, Leggs. Well played, madame. Well played… :lol:

Leggs

July 28th, 2011
5:00 pm

:lol: :lol: Look at you trying to start trouble…

Simple Man.....

July 28th, 2011
5:03 pm

Purp, How are you gonna have ITL peeing in a Gatorade bottle and not send up the Bat signal for me????

Leggs

July 28th, 2011
5:04 pm

Thank you kindly, swiss!

♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

Come with me my love to the sea
The sea of love
I want to tell you
How much I love you
I’m drowning in a sea of love

Do you remember the night we met?
That’s the night I knew you were my pet
I want to tell you
How much I love you
I’m drowning in a sea of love

Come with me to the sea

♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

PEACE!

Purple Rain

July 28th, 2011
5:04 pm

How did i have her peeing in a bottle? I skipped over all that stuff, lol.

Bob Decker

July 28th, 2011
5:07 pm

The break up pain is identical, the only difference is no divorce lawyers and the agony of that. Remember theres always the one that wants to leave, and one that does not, so the pain is usually one sided.

Leggs

July 28th, 2011
5:14 pm

Alright Bob Decker. Thank you for bringing it full circle! We back on topic….NEXT :wink:

Celisea

July 28th, 2011
5:33 pm

And what I’m proud of best? No one was pegged or condemn for twisting wrists, backflips or upside down head game, shenises (sp?) or peeing in a bottle :)

Catty of me? Yep. Could I resist? Nope :mrgreen:

Simple Man.....

July 28th, 2011
5:37 pm

Afternoon Celisea :)

Celisea

July 28th, 2011
5:38 pm

Hey there Simple Man…how goes it?

Celisea

July 28th, 2011
5:39 pm

I’m here yet again…late…getting through a pile of work that seems to have no end :devil:

Celisea

July 28th, 2011
5:39 pm

ooops that should have been :evil:

Simple Man.....

July 28th, 2011
5:41 pm

Right…just got back in town and my desk is like I have been gone for a month!!

Celisea

July 28th, 2011
5:47 pm

Simple Man it’s gonna end somewhere. One day I’m going to see the my desk top..LOL

Celisea

July 28th, 2011
5:49 pm

TOP
OF
MY
DESK

See waaaay too much work. 90% of the time I’m blogging I’m simultaneously doing work.

Simple Man.....

July 28th, 2011
5:50 pm

From your mouth to Gods ear!!! LOL

Simple Man.....

July 28th, 2011
5:51 pm

I think I might be Leaving the “A”……

Celisea

July 28th, 2011
5:51 pm

Atlanta? Job move?

Simple Man.....

July 28th, 2011
5:52 pm

Yeah…My compnay offered me a promotion…The caveat is that its in Denver….

Simple Man.....

July 28th, 2011
5:53 pm

company = compnay…( See its late for me too :) )

Celisea

July 28th, 2011
5:54 pm

WOW….that’s great…soooo whatcha gonna do? I guess leaving you said you “might be leaving.” Weigh your pros and cons and do ya thing :)

Simple Man.....

July 28th, 2011
5:58 pm

yeah…its alot to consider….HUGE raise….Chance to get to a new city..But Atlant has always been home…Kinda hard to walk away now…when I was younger it was easy, but now, not so much….

Celisea

July 28th, 2011
6:00 pm

Yeah I feel ya….money money money. I’m not sure I could either given the fact I’m no longer 20 and have roots. HUGE raise huh? I’m soooo all about making that money. Sorry you’re having to westle but dang congrats on making that money :)

Simple Man.....

July 28th, 2011
6:02 pm

Thanks…headed out there next week to look around…I was told that I can give an answer after my visit…Looking forward to the trip :)

Celisea

July 28th, 2011
6:07 pm

Well that’s great. At least you can get a feel of potentially what living there will be like. Whichever direction, again congrats and I wish you the best :)

Into the Light

July 28th, 2011
6:08 pm

Dang! I leave for a late meeting, and Simp is moving across the country???? :(

Celisea

July 28th, 2011
6:10 pm

ITL – What are you doing hanging around late?

Simple Man.....

July 28th, 2011
6:13 pm

ITL…LOL..It was presented to me last night…..a bit overwhelming If you must know… :D

Simple Man.....

July 28th, 2011
6:14 pm

ITL…You ever been to Denver???

Into the Light

July 28th, 2011
6:34 pm

Trying to put the finishing touches on a couple of projects so that I can be off tomorrow. After coming in on Saturday and Sunday, I’m ready for a day by the pool. :)

Not yet, Simp…. :)

Simple Man.....

July 28th, 2011
6:40 pm

Is that an offer to come lounge by the pool and maybe take a dip ITL…

Celisea

July 28th, 2011
7:00 pm

One last Atlanta romp Simple Man before hitting the road? I kid I kid :mrgreen:

fff

July 28th, 2011
7:49 pm

its just like marriage except at the end she doesnt take half of you belongings with her!

Mark

July 29th, 2011
9:00 am

Living together is lazy and is nothing like a marriage. A marriage is a committment. Living together is convenient. I’ve done both. And don’t give me this “you’re a hypocrite” business. It’s called learning from one’s mistackes. There is a reason back in the day before people shacked up together, that couples stayed married. They showed to each other that they were will to sacrifice for each other and that is what makes a marriage work. There is no sacrifice in shacking up. That is why couples who live together before marriage have a much higher divorce rate, they are not willing to sacrifice nearly as much as who actually do. And don’t give me all this BS about living together is how you really get to know someone. Bull. You get to know someone by dating them for a decent amount of time. You see how they treat others, how they react to crisis, you observe their habits, are they lazy, are they selfish, are they giving, etc. You talk about how you will raise children, religion, education, etc. You do all this by not living with them but by spending time with them and communicating. This is why Jews and Catholics are lower divorce rates than protestants. Try finding a Priest who will marry you if you’ve been living together for the last two years. Its not easy. They will do it but you’ll get a stern lecture. Bottom line…Living together is lazy. And lazy makes for bad relationships.

Where's The Beef?

July 29th, 2011
10:11 am

“Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”
Ladies, if you know you want to get married to a particular guy, don’t give him all the benefits of marriage unless he gives you a ring. If he runs off….he wasn’t good enough for you anyway.
Love Thyself! :) Be confident.

janga

July 29th, 2011
10:31 am

My Husband and I lived together for 3 yrs before getting married ..Like most people I didnt think the piece of paper would change anything. If you take your vows seriously it does give you each an renewed enriched since of commttment and devotion.. It is a different committment to be married than when you are lliving together.

And for the people who say they are perfectly happy not being married and living together forever. I dont believe that How can you be ok that you live with a man who isnt sure enought that your the one to marry you? .One thing to consider is you dont have rights to anything of his.. So, god forbid he gets hit by a bus and killed tommorow your on your own. I know this seems rude but, its the facts.

Depster

July 29th, 2011
2:14 pm

Whether or not living together mirrors marriage depends on the couple and their relationship. My husband and I lived together for 25 years before we married. We’ve now been married for 6 years and there is not difference in our relationship, feelings for each other, or the way we live. Funny though, our friends and family were thrilled, and really seemed relieved, when we finally tied the knot. Go figure…

Bill Maher

July 29th, 2011
8:17 pm

Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free! Women are so stupid!!

Sister Mary

July 29th, 2011
8:19 pm

Living together is a sin and you will answer to God!