Relationships with expiration dates
I’m just at a loss of what to say to women who still believe that great sex is enough to keep a man. I think it is one of those situations that people have to experience before they get it.
The reality is it’s easy to entertain, like, and be enamored with one another when your clothes are off. That’s actually the easier part in a lot of ways!
What happens when your clothes are back on and you start to realize that outside the bedroom, you actually don’t connect in other ways?
Let me give you a hint: Tick. Tock. That’s the timer ticking to down to the demise of the relationship.
It’s not just because orgasms aren’t enough to keep two people interested. It takes more. A lot more. Especially if you want more.
Sure the amazing bedroom trysts will be a shiny new toy you can’t stop playing with – but the novelty wears off. What do you think it takes to sustain a relationship without expiration dates?
Don’t you think it rather… interesting.. that sex alone can’t sustain a relationship but a relationship without sex won’t last either?
Why do you think that is? Or do you disagree?
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453 comments Add your comment
Lucinda
July 26th, 2011
10:29 am
and i don’t see anybody saying sex isn’t important. It’s definitely important. But it aint everything. Like I said, F#^* my brain first, then the body, then the booty.
UGA 1999
July 26th, 2011
10:33 am
Lucinda….WOW very nice
Reio
July 26th, 2011
10:34 am
@ lucinda : With me, don’t wait too long to decide whether I’m F#^ing your brain or not, cause I’ll be gone soon, leaving your body and booty behind.
Celisea
July 26th, 2011
10:35 am
Casual Observer, I agree with your 9:50. Before the day is out this blog will be divided. The Rick James Tribute Crew vs. The Hillary Clinton Pants Suit Wearing Ideologist (THCPSWI for short)!
LOLOLOL…I’m soooo glad I have said a word yet. That the June Cleaver high road taking speech can be laid to my charge. Ha ha ha…love it.
On topic: Compatability, love, like, friend, sex…all of it to have a RELATIONSHIP. You want to have sex void of friendship, have at it. You want to be friends void of sex, do your thing. You want to like someone and have casual sex, whatever works. You want to love, like, be happy, be compatible and all that other good stuff…make it happen. Do you and whatever it is that floats your boat. Just be willing to call whatever your doing, what it is. I love it…June Cleaver…usually that’s laid to me.
Lovely Brown
July 26th, 2011
10:36 am
Good Morning to all!
I agree with whoever said when sex is great, it is 10% of the realtionship, when it is bad or non existant, it is 90% of the realtionship. When you are getting it good, everything seems brighter and better. When it stops everything seems bad. I married the one that makes my eyes roll back in my head. I also married the one that when the day comes that he can no longer do that, things will still be good. However, I dont look sideways at those that use sex as their measure tool for their relationship(s)….. Do you.
Celisea
July 26th, 2011
10:36 am
Casual Observer, I agree with your 9:50. Before the day is out this blog will be divided. The Rick James Tribute Crew vs. The Hillary Clinton Pants Suit Wearing Ideologist (THCPSWI for short)!
And this was a quote I copied. That wasn’t me agreeing…just want to make that clear…I’m still laughing.
Da_Man!
July 26th, 2011
10:37 am
Yes @Lucinda, I’m going to stay with somebody for great sex even though they are crazy, lazy, stupid, ignorant, selfish, dishonest, abusive, humorless. “Stay” is actually relative – could be a week, month, or year; but Hey – I like GREAT SEX! Just call me Shallow Hal.
Sweet Pea
July 26th, 2011
10:37 am
Society has become soooooo saturated on sex/skills in bed and not what’s in your heart and head. Although, sex is an important factor it won’t sustain a relationship. I don’t believe it outweighs a relationship where there are commonalities amongst each other as it takes more than romping in bed to keep a relationship growing and going. However, it’s obvious that most seem to think that sex determines the make or break of a relationship…SMH
AngieKnows
July 26th, 2011
10:37 am
Lucinda, no I wouldn’t…if he was crazy, lazy, stupid, ignorant, selfish, dishonest, abusive and humorless. But if you know a bunch of people that had many or even all of opposite of those qualities and you knew one of them could make you sing all the high notes, I’d certainly lean in his direction. No ones talking about a loser that is good. I’m talking about the normal people and one, you knew, could make your toes curl. That’s what I’m talking about.
Willie Dynamite
July 26th, 2011
10:38 am
Celisea – I know you are not June Cleaver, you just blog like that in the mornings. Then again I thought June was a freak off camera or after 5pm (smile).
Celisea
July 26th, 2011
10:38 am
And for those that said a relationship cannot exist without sex, what about old couples that no longer can physically have sex but still living and loving and relating?
Fion
July 26th, 2011
10:38 am
@Lucinda
Hold the phone Lucinda. You’ve gone off the deep end. Hopefully, no Woman is staying with a man that is beating her, just becasue the sex is mind blowing.
For this conversation, we starting at a point of normality, not abnormality
Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)
July 26th, 2011
10:39 am
Several here have expressed strong opinions. Actually one size does not fit all. That said, for Randyt it is a whole bunch of things rolled together. I’ve done this long enough to know what works for me and more important what doesn’t work for me. For me a bunch of things are required, chemistry, friendship, intelligence, a heart, and a pretty face (okay, I’m shallow, but can’t imagine sitting across the table from an ugly woman, no matter how good the frame).
I want it all, and on these general areas, anything less than a 100% is a failing grade. Re the checklist column of a few days ago, I don’t have a massive list, but these things are essential. Sex is just one part, a good relationship is just one part.
UGA 1999
July 26th, 2011
10:39 am
Celisea…that is why a relationship has to be more than just sex….but on the other hand they DO make Viagra.
Da_Man!
July 26th, 2011
10:40 am
@Celisea, The Rick James Tribute Crew are looking for good volunteers …
Dave
July 26th, 2011
10:40 am
Sweet Pea, yes…bad sex is a definite deal breaker, no matter how wonderful she seems otherwise. Just like if you’re a lout, gold digger, nagger, slob or homeless, but can screw the chrome off of a bumper…the deal’s still off. I might just test drive you for a week or three….lol
Celisea
July 26th, 2011
10:42 am
Sweet Pea – You are right…cosign
WillieD – I am too June Cleaver. June knew how to get down while donning her pearls and suite
I can’t speak to the freak off camera though 
Reio
July 26th, 2011
10:42 am
@ Celisea : That’s because they are old and half dead, with no more options, beyond where they want to be buried.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
July 26th, 2011
10:43 am
Celisea, June you weren’t her yesterday. Not how you were telling Slim1 about driving down the highway….LOL
Da_Man!
July 26th, 2011
10:43 am
@Celisea, Old married couples that stay together but can’t do “the do” are joined by 1 common interest. Both SS checks help pay the mortgage & bills!
Celisea
July 26th, 2011
10:44 am
Da Ma – Imma have to pass..lol
UGA – I agree. I think that’s what the June Cleavers were trying to relay a bit earlier. I think the stick and quit crew are just a trite offended this morning…lol
Sweet Pea
July 26th, 2011
10:45 am
LOL @ Dave~ soooo what do you classify as bad sex? If she is not as experienced as a p0rn star but has potential, you would still exit the building?
Sweet Pea
July 26th, 2011
10:47 am
Celisea~I am June Cleaver too!…ain’t nothing wrong with it!
Blackfoote~I know Celisea can hold her own, however get back Black
!!
Celisea
July 26th, 2011
10:48 am
Reio and Da Man – Ya’ll ain’t right. My mama and daddy was one of those old couples still able to hold hands
Blackfoote – I pulled that piece of information from my archives. I went into my
girl get it old files and pull that up. You believe me right?
Celisea
July 26th, 2011
10:49 am
Okay I was trying to strike through “girl get it”
Celisea
July 26th, 2011
10:50 am
Sweet Pea ~I am June Cleaver too!…ain’t nothing wrong with it!
I didn’t see Ward going anywhere.
Reio
July 26th, 2011
10:51 am
@ Celisea : Holding hands is good, but at this point, thats all they can/could do. Just sayin.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
July 26th, 2011
10:53 am
Sweet Pea:
Celisea knows she can be a Helen from (Andy Griffith), you too. I will ask out a Helen type anytime too…..LOL
Da_Man!
July 26th, 2011
10:54 am
@Celisea – What makes you think your Mom & Pops weren’t “gettin it in”? Holding hands is just foreplay … You’ve seen the Cialis commercials!
The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior
July 26th, 2011
10:55 am
@Lucinda
Lazy, yep; long as it isn’t during our ‘time’ together.
Crazy, yep; make the best sex. Rihanna.
Humorless, I don’t need them to be funny, she entertains me other ways.
Ignorant, I don’t need her to talk
(^ the above is applicable only in a strictly sexual relationship)
Dishonest and/or abusive are where I draw the line though.
Casual Observer
July 26th, 2011
10:55 am
So you folks are saying that the loving, and caring and sharing in a stable and “normal relationship” does not fade????? Everyday, even here on this blog, there are those that fall in love with her beautiful mind, they work to accomplish the same goals and build families….have deep and involved conversations and one day they wake up and she looks over at him and says……”Joe Bob from down in the mailroom bent me over the sink in the janitors closet and I liked it”…. he sighs and says that good, cause Sara from accounting has a girlfriend, and dammit, they BOTH like the way I do that thing witht he redhots”……
Dave
July 26th, 2011
10:56 am
I all boils down to enthusiasm, willing to explore, stating what you like and don’t like…and enthusiasm. If someone is vanilla, but “wants to learn new things/ways” that’s a good sign. If they are vanilla and “oh, that’s dirty”, “Oh, that’s yucky” and “I don’t see how anyone could enjoy that” issue those statements too many times, shift it to reverse. Some people are porn stars by nature and others are in the developmental stage, but enthusiastically want to learn. It all boils down to enthusiasm and an adventuresome nature. At least for me…
Celisea
July 26th, 2011
10:56 am
Reio – That’s the part ya’ll are missing…that the June Cleavers were saying. You might want to establish something more than mindblowing sex because at some point and as with anything in life, change comes. And in those golden years, change will go from getting it up and on a whim or at the thought of, to not even being able to get a good hump in. No strength or ability or agility to do so. Hey it’s life…we live long enough we’ll all witness the “change.”
Dave
July 26th, 2011
10:58 am
Did I mention entusiasm?
Celisea
July 26th, 2011
10:58 am
Da Man – Stop it…lol My mama and daddy stop doing anything after me. Nothing…no more…I’m the last, the baby of the family. Everything ended there
Exiled!
July 26th, 2011
10:58 am
Good morning!
We all have our preferences,that’s the bottom line!
Me,I think:
Average sex+ Regular sex + average personality/character = Marriage
Great sex + beotch personality = A knock off girl
Bad sex + Very nice personality = Really nice friend
Average sex + Ms Independent = A knock off
Great sex + Ms Independent = A treasured friend
Great sex + nice personality + Can Cook+ Cleans Well = Wife!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
July 26th, 2011
10:59 am
RandyT you are right with one size does not fit all, we all have different variations on what we like. I don’t get this Rick vs June stuff, just do what you like that’s all.
Celisea
July 26th, 2011
11:00 am
Blackfoote – Have you seen some of the episodes of Andy Griffith in color? Shoot Helen didn’t play that. Andy bet’not look at some other school teacher. LOL
Fion
July 26th, 2011
11:04 am
And to think I wasted all that time in math class and I coulda learned Quadratic equations
here on the Blog.
i'm swiss™
July 26th, 2011
11:04 am
“People spend to much time looking on the outside not what’s on the inside.”
Absolutely! It’s all about what’s on the inside.
Now, Slim, BMW, Sassy… You ladies get over here so I can appreciate your insides.
By the way, on topic:
If you feel strongly enough about the person, it’s hard for me to understand how the sex could be bad. I mean, it’s not rocket science. All you really have to do is pay attention & you’ll figure out exactly what buttons to press pretty quickly.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
July 26th, 2011
11:05 am
Celisea I know Andy got caught up many times, and she rightfully let him know about it….LOL
Celisea
July 26th, 2011
11:08 am
I’m agreeing with Swiss. How can you not enjoy one another when there’s something there…established? If someone ain’t putting something exactly where you like it, being in like or love makes it easier to get it said and done. You can talk about it. Show me what you like….help me and help me help you
I think all that other stuff comes into play when folks want to be supremely dusted with no feelings or nothing else in play. I like to be in like and loving on you to REALLY feel what I need to feel and hopefully vice vesa.
Celisea
July 26th, 2011
11:09 am
I’m getting off this thing. My 11:08 bought to rustle up my nether regions. Really folks, it ain’t that hard. You can think up a good feeling
Yep, I said that.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
July 26th, 2011
11:10 am
Come to think I’ll take Helen over a June, Helen was a lot fiestier. June more like a doormat.
Fion
July 26th, 2011
11:11 am
@ BlackFoote
Are you seeing a Dr. about your condition????
i'm swiss™
July 26th, 2011
11:12 am
“My 11:08 bought to rustle up my nether regions.”
Celisea — Are you over there mind-f@#king yourself? And if so, can I watch?
Celisea
July 26th, 2011
11:14 am
Swiss – Not myself… I ain’t into “self” like that. Not by myself anyway. Ut oh, bye ya’ll.
Da_Man!
July 26th, 2011
11:15 am
Damn Helen and June … I’d take Weezie from the Jeffersons. She must have had that “FIRE” for George to endure moaning & groaning at the Barry White level.
Sweet Pea
July 26th, 2011
11:15 am
Celisea~That’s what I’m talking about…she was taking of Ward in the “right” way.
Casual Observer~I’m sure it does fade at times. We all are human and may find others to be desirable, however home is where the heart is…at least I can say that with my parents…41 years and counting!
Relationships are like entreprenuers…it takes passion and hard work to be successful.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
July 26th, 2011
11:16 am
LOL….@Fion
The strict girls will let their hair down sometimes.