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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Is their home life a mystery?

One of our readers would like some advice about a new romance she is in. They have been on at least 4 dates and they met Memorial Day weekend. She has had him over to her place and he even met some of her friends. However, he has been a little less inclined to share his home life with her.

She has not seen where he lives, nor does he talk about his personal life that much. Obviously, it makes her uneasy because she is starting to think he is concealing something or someone. Do you think it is a red flag if you don’t get invited over to someone’s place?

It is possible that he is a private person. How quickly do you let people in – so to speak?

When do you introduce the person you are dating to friends and family? Do you wait until you are in an exclusive relationship?

What would you do if the person you are interested in is too mysterious for you? Do you snoop and do your own digging or cut your losses at the “shady” behavior?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

429 comments Add your comment

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 21st, 2011
12:50 pm

Ok I might not have spelled enemy right…LOL
But you know what I mean.

Button

July 21st, 2011
12:51 pm

Blackfoote, you started this radazzle but it’s all good, should I expected better from you?

Purple Rain

July 21st, 2011
12:51 pm

SexyCool

July 21st, 2011
12:51 pm

Leggs – about a month ago, I returned a rental car for a traveler who was going to miss her flight to one of the islands because she had tried to check in at the wrong airline.

I don’t know that old woman from Eve. It was a chance meeting, I just happened to be headed upstairs for lunch when she asked for directions and I offered to walk her to where she was going. She ended up telling me of her dilemma in route. I helped her at a cost to me – $32 because by the time I got to her rental car, I realized she did not give me the parking ticket to get out of the lot and time away from my office), no real benefit other than doing something to help someone else.

Into the Light

July 21st, 2011
12:53 pm

Celisea, I hate to burst your bubble, but I just got here. I am not “Button”, or anyone else for that matter.

If I have something to say to or about someone, I say it to them and I make sure they know it’s coming from me. I know some folks feel the need to represent themselves one way on the blog, and then act like the cast of Mean Girls via e-mail but that’s not me. I am the same today, tomorrow, and yesterday whether you talk to me on the blog or via e-mail or in person. For those on the blog who are not back-biting, elitist, clique-dwellers: thanks for making me feel welcome.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 21st, 2011
12:57 pm

Button, you didn’t get the memo did you I’m always starting shi on here. I’m sorry I got you involved in this mess, I promise I’ll do better. We good.

Celisea

July 21st, 2011
12:58 pm

I’m scared Buttons

Simple Man....

July 21st, 2011
1:00 pm

Come on Purp……Still waiting on the fedex guy to bring me the damn cuff key!!!

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

July 21st, 2011
1:00 pm

PURPLE…will you be my Alcide? ;-)

Purple Rain

July 21st, 2011
1:00 pm

Why is the vibe going sour, ladies let’s all get naked and point and laugh at each other.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 21st, 2011
1:01 pm

ITL
Hello how are you. Caught me at a bad time I’m caught up with Button, miss reading you.

Him

July 21st, 2011
1:02 pm

SexyCool — Very good. Again — very commendable. (There are a lot of nice ladies on this blog.) Now, dig deeper. Why would you go out of your way to help someone else? You already offered a clue, and I could nudge you to the obvious conclusion. But I’ll let you think through this for yourself.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 21st, 2011
1:04 pm

LOL….@Purple
The edges have unraveled and I caused it all.

Into the Light

July 21st, 2011
1:04 pm

Thanks, Blackfoote. I’ve been in training and working on some emergent priority projects and haven’t been on the blog much lately. :)

You still under the stairs, or have you emerged???

Sassy Black..Good is good..GREAT is better ;-)

July 21st, 2011
1:04 pm

harpo?!….who dis woman?….

Exiled!

July 21st, 2011
1:05 pm

ITL…

u know damn well I ain’t elitist,backbiter(but azz biter) nor clique dweller…

I am ur muckraker, at your service Always!

Sassy Black..Good is good..GREAT is better ;-)

July 21st, 2011
1:06 pm

Blackfoote nothing’s unraveled…we’ve seen some unraveling and this ain’t it.. Trus mi p’on dat, seen?!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 21st, 2011
1:06 pm

BMW:
When Purple finish spanking you, come here you got another one to go.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 21st, 2011
1:08 pm

ITL
I think I’m in the dumpster today thanks to Button…..LOL

Purple Rain

July 21st, 2011
1:11 pm

BMW, I am more of an Eric than Alcide, but mostly Purple

Purple Rain

July 21st, 2011
1:11 pm

Be careful that woman is a MAN!

Into the Light

July 21st, 2011
1:12 pm

Thanks, Exiled. :)

You know, Celisea, I’ve tried since day one to be nice to you. Even with all your little snide remarks, I just let them pass and kept ignoring it. And I will continue to do so.

Purple Rain

July 21st, 2011
1:14 pm

I really don’t think there is that much strife, let it slide!

Leggs

July 21st, 2011
1:19 pm

@Button ~ since you’ve changed monikers no need for me to throw out the welcome mat. However, you do still have your vest? Yes? No?

@SC ~ Awwww, she forgot to give you the parking ticket. Although you had to shell out $32, you did a darn good thing!

@Him ~ WTH you have to knock everything down. A good deed is a good deed! Leave it at that! First people are knocking each other down because they lack character, and now people are being knocked down because of their character….SMDH!

Purple Rain

July 21st, 2011
1:20 pm

Leggs, how are you?

Exiled!

July 21st, 2011
1:20 pm

Fellas?

so who is the baddest playa on the blog?

I’m throwing u a challenge or better yet,we make this an annual blog contest..

I wanna see who is going to be the one to pull it off…

A ThreeSome comprising ITL,her blog protagonist(she) and Any of of us guys….

On your marks….

GO! (u can start the process of wheeling and dealing)

too bad Blue ain’t blogging anymore…

she would have been a natural in that role :lol:

SexyCool

July 21st, 2011
1:20 pm

By the same token, a few weeks ago, this dude knocked on my door, having come up to my house on a bicycle….(I do live in “the hood.”) Recognizing him from having knocked on my door the previous afternoon when I did not answer the door, I decided to go ahead and see what he wanted. He came at me with the guise of coming to see if I had any sort of work that he could do because he was just trying to earn MARTA fair to get to a school he was trying to enroll in. Well, know I didn’t have any work, but…falling for the line, I gave him $5 and wished him well.

So….two days later, TheDude and I were getting ready to go out and our door was open while I waiting on him to finish a phone call. WWWWHHHHYYY did this dude come back to my door with that same bllsht? I was, “Um, yeah, no…I don’t have anything for you to do and I don’t have any money to give you today.” And….being too nice, I followed up with the line, “Check back some other time.” TheDude was NOT happy. In fact, we had a bit of a tiff about it. His position was that because I was too friendly, buddy was going to keep coming back.

So….yeah…of course, day before yesterday, he rang my doorbell again. And not wanting to be bothered, I didn’t answer the door. And sure enough, yesterday, there his just outta drug rehad looking behind was again, I answered the door. He starts with his line. I was like, “Dude, look, I understand. You’re looking for work to earn some money. I don’t have any work for you to do and I don’t have unlimited money for you when you come around here basically looking for a handout.” “No ma’am. I’m not looking for a handout. I want to do something to earn some money.” “I don’t have anything, sweetie. I’m never going to have anything, but I do wish you the best.”

What I really wanted to say was “Dud, come the fck on. I have a yard that is the size of a postage stamp and an uncle who owns a landscaping company. So, I don’t need you to do anything in my yard. And I know good and damn well you don’t think I’m about to let you IN my house. And on top of that, you done showed yo’ ass up at my house without al’naln tool, talking about you need some work to do. GTF off my porch with that mess.

Oh..and I didn’t even mention the fact that the first day when he was making his presentation, the other little dude comes up, empty handed, talking about he was raising money for school. Okay, yeah…first of all, little negro, it’s July. There are no school fundraisers going on. Secondly, IF there was an actual fundraiser, no school is going to send you around without some sort of flyer or something. I told, “I can only handle one charity case a day. Buddy beat you to the door.”

Yeah..this is long….lol

MzNewy

July 21st, 2011
1:20 pm

Okay, lets set the record str8.

Blog ladies after 4 dates in 2 months what information do need to know about a dude? (sex doesn’t matter)

Hmmm…At least if he has a job, does he have any kids, what side of town is he on. He definitely won’t get any cookies after that short period of time. Also if he can only talk at odd hours, he can forget about it because I won’t be interested .

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

July 21st, 2011
1:21 pm

PURPLE…I thought you’d be more Alcide…being the Italian Stallion! :-)

Button

July 21st, 2011
1:22 pm

@ Celisea @ ohhhhhhh you skerd! LOL
GIRL you are one SILLY meekrat

@ Into the Light, why are you even explaining yourself to someone BEHIND a keyboard??? Is there some kind of majic dust floating in the air?

Leggs

July 21st, 2011
1:22 pm

@PR ~ if we all got naked and pointed at each other, you can bet locks of your hair that I wouldn’t be laughing. I’m grabbing someone by the hand and we’re going to do the monkey dance! :wink:

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 21st, 2011
1:23 pm

Just damn, Sassy you say what haven’t unraveled. Lady’s come together, lets turn this into a love day. I’ll go first I need it the most, anybody else need love.

Leggs

July 21st, 2011
1:24 pm

@PR ~ I’m much better, thanks for asking!

Purple Rain

July 21st, 2011
1:24 pm

No, I am taller than Alcide :)

Exiled, blue would have won hands down. LOL

Button

July 21st, 2011
1:24 pm

@ Sexy Cool your story is a lil creative loafing crime blotterish…

Celisea

July 21st, 2011
1:26 pm

PR???

Not the time? Okay then…not the time.

SexyCool

July 21st, 2011
1:26 pm

Him – yes, I will and have gone out of my way to help folks from time to time. However, it is well within my rights to know about a situation that would call for me to sign on for your long term commitment to another person’s care or cause should the relationship become serious. However, if I were to have met you, you wouldn’t even give me the benefit of the doubt because you would have made the decision for me.

But then too…you have made it plain that your intent in this scenario – whether real or made up for the entertainment of yourself and this blog – is simply to use this individual for as long as you can and with no aim other than to provide a break in your boring life.

Also, if I were to meet your bored ass, I wouldn’t walk away from you because you are helping yo’ sick momma, I would run the hell away because my purpose in life is not to provide kicks and giggles solely for the entertainment of another grown person.

Purple Rain

July 21st, 2011
1:27 pm

Button, let it go please. We are that kind of place.

Leggs, that’s not my hand you are grabbing. I am glad that you are better now though :)

Leggs

July 21st, 2011
1:28 pm

@SC ~ first off, you shouldn’t have ended it with “check back some other time.” I’m on TheDude’s side.

SC, I had to cover my mouth and I have tears in my eyes from laughing in my hand @ little negro, it’s July!

Button

July 21st, 2011
1:31 pm

Yes sa masta Purple I will let it go

Exiled!

July 21st, 2011
1:32 pm

Why am I still yawning,at 1:31pm?

too much nocturnal dancing!

SexyCool

July 21st, 2011
1:32 pm

Button – I live near MLK and Ashby, sorry, Joseph P. Lowry. It is a transitioning neighborhood. I have a story for every day of the week.

Sassy Black..Good is good..GREAT is better ;-)

July 21st, 2011
1:33 pm

since you’ve changed monikers no need for me to throw out the welcome mat. However, you do still have your vest? Yes? No?

:lol: I wonder….

Blackfoote please beleive this blog has seen quite a bit of back n forths between folks and this is really minor. No let me take that back, maybe this is the most you’ve witnessed but I’ve read worse but no need beating a dead horse. Seems like you’re really entertained, goody for you. :lol:

Him

July 21st, 2011
1:34 pm

Leggs — No, no, no .. you’re missing the point. I’m not trying to knock anyone down. On the contrary, I praised your commendable behavior (and that of SexyCool). And — for extra measure — I defended the women who you called shallow. I said that I did not blame them, they were just being pragmatic, and set out to explain why. Gosh — I thought I was being nice to everyone. Talk about getting knocked down … :-)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 21st, 2011
1:37 pm

Sassy I was here when Kym and Dirty Diana sqaured off. Didn’t like then, don’t want to see it now.

Celisea

July 21st, 2011
1:37 pm

Don’t throw rocks and hide your hands is all I ask :)

Him

July 21st, 2011
1:38 pm

And, SexyCool, she will continue to go out with me as long as it provides some benefit to her. What that ceases to be true, she will stop. I have no problem with that. That is not ‘using’ someone.

Celisea

July 21st, 2011
1:38 pm

I’m talking boulders…when no one is looking and then act innocent.

That is all.

Into the Light

July 21st, 2011
1:39 pm

Blackfoote, there’s no “squaring off” to be done. I said what I had to say and I am finished, period.

SexyCool

July 21st, 2011
1:39 pm

Speaking of which, the little guy that was talking about raising money for school…turns out he was the front man for three or four other teenagers, looked to be 13/14 – who that same afternoon were hanging around on the porch of the empty house next to me. So, to keep my eye on them, I went out in my yard and started pulling weeds. When they see me, he comes over and was like, “I coulda done that for you.”

“I thought you were raising money for school. And if you’re raising money for school, schools are out, but even so, where is your proof? Schools don’t send you out without some sort of documentation to support the fundraiser.”

“Well, really, we’re just trying to see what we can do to make some money so that we can go to the pool.”

“Oh and you’ve been going around lying about a fundraiser to go to the pool?”

“No ma’am.”

So, I called them all over and began to question them about what they were up to. They basically said that they had been going around to people’s houses knocking on the door, asking if they could do anything to earn money.

“Anything like what?”

“We can mow yards, pull weeds, wash cars, take out the trash, anything.”

“Where are your tools?”

“We ain’t got none.”

“So, are y’all a business and all of y’all are partners?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Where’s your flyer? How are you advertising your services? Do y’all have a plan?”

“No ma’am.”

“Y’all need a plan. How much is it to get in to the pool?”

“$4″

“Tell you what, y’all come back tomorrow and show me where y’all have put down something on paper that talks about what your business plans are and what services you will offer and remember my name, and I will give all of y’all the money to get in the pool for two days.”

Haven’t seen them little dudes since.