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Dating news: Men like getting asked out!?

Earlier this week, we talked about whether or not women should date more like men. Ladies, if you ever wonder what men go through on the dating scene, try approaching a perfect stranger.

In my experience, approaching a man can be exciting, terrifying, and empowering (assuming he doesn’t find you repulsive or crazy) – all at once. I don’t do it often enough, but I really should!

The men I know are genuinely surprised and happy to have a woman approach them – compliment them. Oh, asking when you can see him again? Apparently, it’s one of those ego stroking things that some men really enjoy. A lot. Not unlike how women feel when we get asked out!

Do you think living in the south, women are less inclined to approach a man? Friends in other cities say that women don’t have much apprehension about it like us “girls raised in the south” and maybe this is an obstacle in dating.

When a woman approaches a man, does it really seem desperate? Does it depend on how she delivers her “opening line” or how she carries herself?

Guys, when was the last time a woman approached you? What was your first impression? Do you generally like getting approached by women?

Do you think it is better when a woman breaks the ice and then you take it from there?

Ladies, what is your biggest beef with approaching a man? What message do you think it sends to the guy?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

288 comments Add your comment

Purple Rain

July 20th, 2011
11:34 am

Is “I can see your panty line” not considered a compliment any more? How about “Is that skim milk in those tittaayys?”

Chas

July 20th, 2011
11:40 am

So SexyCool and Lovely, if a guy had 20 notches in his bedpost and a woman has 20, is there a double standard? He’s a stud and she’s a slut? Sorry, that one doesn’t compute. I for one WANT the experienced, sensual type with a libido and confidence in herself. I do NOT want June Cleaver, Mary Poppins, the Flying Nun or even a virgin (are there any left?). If someone makes it to 35 and still have their V card, she’s either got hangups or fat or fugly. Sorry, but I speak the truth. As long as she’s not on DVD’s or charging by the hour, I’ll take an average looking woman with experience and confidence over a beauty queen that is “saving herself for that special guy” at the age of 35. No can do, seniorita…..

Celisea

July 20th, 2011
11:41 am

Kimmie – There have been a few that just waited to dang long to let me know! It’s cool to take your time, but it’s a fine line!!!

Exactly! I with you here.

SexyC – Depends on who you’re talking to

Yep…true so true

CoolShadow – Your 11:21 I think it could go either way. Sometimes you are probably on the money, sometimes not. It’s always funny to hear men say that women will misread polite for trying to hit on them. I have misread and assumed one thing when it was actually something else. I have also been polite in return only for that to turn into someone being misled. Sometimes you gotta crash and burn.

Leggs

July 20th, 2011
11:41 am

@BMW ~ when fangs was mentioned yesterday, I was waiting for you to pop in, but it was mentioned again today and POOF, here you is (LOL). And, especially if a man’s cologne is on point.

Chas

July 20th, 2011
11:42 am

Even if she says “I’ve only been with one other man in my life”…..I’m outta there and leaving skid marks.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 20th, 2011
11:43 am

LOL….@Kimmie

Folks that can’t make a sound judment about their own feelings tells me a lot about them.
1) they’re not that interested, 2) wishy washy 3) unable to make rational decisions

Simple Man....

July 20th, 2011
11:47 am

“I for one WANT the experienced, sensual type with a libido and confidence in herself. I do NOT want June Cleaver, Mary Poppins, the Flying Nun or even a virgin (are there any left?). If someone makes it to 35 and still have their V card, she’s either got hangups or fat or fugly. Sorry, but I speak the truth. As long as she’s not on DVD’s or charging by the hour, I’ll take an average looking woman with experience and confidence over a beauty queen that is “saving herself for that special guy” at the age of 35. No can do, seniorita…..”

As tha blog ladies often say…” This is worth repeating!!!”

Purple Rain

July 20th, 2011
11:47 am

Blackfoote your 11:43 is on the mark.

Purple Rain

July 20th, 2011
11:48 am

I won’t take a woman with average anything. To many people in the world for me to find what I want. And I like nothing that is average.

Celisea

July 20th, 2011
11:49 am

PR – Your 11:34…you okay today? That was a bit crass mister.

Chas

July 20th, 2011
11:50 am

^5’s Simple. It may not be politically correct, but it’s the plain truth.

Purple Rain

July 20th, 2011
11:50 am

Celisea, BMW is around and I was just trying to get a spanking or something. LOL

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 20th, 2011
11:52 am

Leggs:
BMW knows I’m a big nice wolf she’s seen the fangs before.

kimmie

July 20th, 2011
11:52 am

Blackfoote – Or 4)all of the above!LOL!!

But from my experience with men, even the shyest will find a way to go on and let you know. So more than likely, he’s not THAT interested. Some but not enough to put himself out there. For example, one sticks out in my mind. He hemmed and hawed until I got frustrated and started dating someone else and made sure he knew it. We stayed friends. Not too long after that he was openly DATING a lady. He had no problem making it clear that he was interested in her and asked her out. And here I was, chalking it up to him being “shy”!

Chas

July 20th, 2011
11:52 am

Ifn she’s got that many notches in her bedpost, odds say she must know what goes where, why it goes there and how long it needs to stay there. If she’s also got a great personality and confidence, that my friends is what we call a WINNER!

Purple Rain

July 20th, 2011
11:52 am

Blackfoote you have wolf fangs. I have vampire fangs. LOL

Purple Rain

July 20th, 2011
11:55 am

I think both genders know how to play that shy game really well.

Leggs

July 20th, 2011
11:55 am

@Blackfoote ~ “she’s seen the fangs,” oh my! Watch out now!

“…odds say she must know what goes where, why it goes there and how long it needs to stay there

That was funny!

Celisea

July 20th, 2011
11:56 am

Chas – odds say she must know what goes where, why it goes there and how long it needs to stay there

I ain’t knocking you at all but if I may…you do know you don’t have to have a gazillion disco sticks to know what when where and how right? Just asking

Leggs

July 20th, 2011
11:56 am

Men may play shy, women more “coy” than anything else.

Celisea

July 20th, 2011
11:57 am

PR – Celisea, BMW is around and I was just trying to get a spanking or something.

Gotcha :)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 20th, 2011
11:58 am

LOL….@Purple
She needs a spanking real bad herself!

Purple Rain

July 20th, 2011
12:00 pm

There are some women who have been with one guy for a long time that are way better in bed sexually than some who have high mileage. It’s like they are trying to make up for lost time or she had just been honing her skills on that one guy.

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

July 20th, 2011
12:00 pm

LEGGS…sorry I did not pop in yesterday. I was at Fangtasia all day and night with Eric Northman! :lol:

PURPLE….time for your spanking! Assume the position! :lol:

kimmie

July 20th, 2011
12:00 pm

To be honest, shy has never been attractive to me. I prefer quiet confidence in a man. Shy on a man comes off as weak. Coy isn’t cute to me either.

SexyCool

July 20th, 2011
12:02 pm

Chas – I went back and read my post to see where I said anything close to the way you seem to have interpreted my post….and er, um…yeah….you’re pulling words out of thin air and cramming them into my post.

ALL I said was that it depends on who you’re talking to. To be QUITE frank, what another woman does with her va-jayjay is not my business and I do not judge. Additionally, as one with at least two notches to many my-damn-self, I am in less of a position and would be a hypocrit for doing so.

Purple Rain

July 20th, 2011
12:03 pm

I just don’t talk alot when just meeting someone, I would not call it shy. I call it just feeling the person out. Unless I am interested in her then I just adapt to the scenario.

BMW, :)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 20th, 2011
12:06 pm

Kimmie you have to think, you helped bring him out of that shyness when you made it known you had moved on.
That’s a good wake up call…..LOL

Purple Rain

July 20th, 2011
12:06 pm

What you do to your body and how many times is only the concern of those actually involved with you.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 20th, 2011
12:09 pm

LOL….@SexyC
I believe SexyC can straighten a dude out too…

Purple Rain

July 20th, 2011
12:11 pm

Blackfoote, I don’t even want to kow what your 12:09 means

kimmie

July 20th, 2011
12:11 pm

Blackfoote – That’s a sweet thought, but I just have seen it happen too many times with other guys. If a man wants a woman bad enough, he’ll make it known, versus letting some other dude come in and swoop her up while he’s twiddling his thumbs!

Purple Rain

July 20th, 2011
12:11 pm

Kimmie, that is true.

Purple Rain

July 20th, 2011
12:12 pm

Well kimmie, I just thought about it. That is not always the truth. Sometimes they just call the cops on the other dude like Simple Man did. Or they will comeo n the blog crying like B.A.B.

kimmie

July 20th, 2011
12:16 pm

Purple – Yeah, I forgot about the cry babies. But they don’t count, and what real woman would want them anyway?

Not talking about Simple though! :)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 20th, 2011
12:16 pm

LOL…..@Purple

Exiled!

July 20th, 2011
12:20 pm

‘R Kelly has emergency throat surgery!’

Watch out Simple Man! :lol:

the experienced one might come back to haunt u…

DJ Sniper

July 20th, 2011
12:21 pm

I’ve had discussions about this before, and of course, there have been women who say that the most they will do in this situation is give off the subtle flirting hints and what not. I’ve also heard women say that if a guy doesn’t notice them doing these things, then that means he’s not interested. Um, I hope these women realize that these guys didn’t even see them in the first place, so if a guy doesn’t even see you doing these things, how can you can say he wasn’t interested? That doesn’t seem logical at all.

Also, I’ve heard women say that they don’t approach men because, more often than not, that will lead to a failed relationship. If you ask around and talk to women about their failed relationships, I bet most of them will tell you that the guy approached them first, so I don’t buy the line about how the woman approaching leads to a high rate of failure.

Lastly, even if approaching a man isn’t your thing, realize that making the first move does NOT make you look desperate.

Purple Rain

July 20th, 2011
12:22 pm

Well at least R. Kelly can still do the other thing he was famous for if he does not recover from having his tonsils removed.

Purple Rain

July 20th, 2011
12:23 pm

If knock out blonde approaches you, more than likely she wants you.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 20th, 2011
12:27 pm

Hey Purple, SexyC 12:02 give me the notion she can handle herself against any guy……LOL

Simple Man....

July 20th, 2011
12:28 pm

Come on Purp…… I was a young trainee, unaware of the full powers of the force… But now I am a Master Jedi completely capable of making my light saber twirl without the use of my hands…..

SexyCool

July 20th, 2011
12:28 pm

Today is The Truth’s birthday.

VSB reader

July 20th, 2011
12:28 pm

If y’all like VSB (www.verysmartbrothas.com), check out this article… ” Sadie’s Suspect: Four Reasons Why Women Shouldn’t Pursue Men”.

Goes perfectly with the topic today and written from a man’s point of view. I’m a woman, and I can’t find fault with anything The Champ said…

His reasons (in case you don’t want to look it up):

1. From a relationship standpoint, a woman making the first move usurps one of a man’s most basic duties: to show a woman that he has enough “stones” to approach her.

2. Women don’t grow on us.

3. It’s not hot

4. It doesn’t work.

Read the article for the breakdowns of these reasons.

Purple Rain

July 20th, 2011
12:29 pm

Simple Man, yeah but you still called the cops on a dude. LOL

Chas

July 20th, 2011
12:30 pm

Celisea, that would be presumptuous as far as how many men or “disco sticks” as you put it. But even so, I will assume that she has had more than 5 lovers by the time she’s 35 and still single (or single again). It matters not to me whether she’s had 10 or had 40. I’m not going to broadcast my numbers, but with her confidence and experience, I’ll lay my money that she is well versed in knowing all types. I just prefer confidence in a woman and a libidious nature. What she did and with how many numbers is none of my concern. It’s not an end all, beat all method, but if she’s had a number of lovers, odds say that she has the “know how” and probably is pretty enthusiastic about the experience. Both are intoxicating to me…but that’s just me. Add the personality and…..you know the rest.

kimmie

July 20th, 2011
12:31 pm

DJ – All you need is one. Doesn’t really matter what signals are given out or who does the approaching,as long as the two that want each other get together!

If these guys didn’t “see” these women, what do they care if the woman thinks they aren’t interested, which obviously they were not? No it’s not logical, is it?

Leggs

July 20th, 2011
12:33 pm

@SC ~ I wished him a Happy Day earlier thinking he might pop in.

Willie Dynamite

July 20th, 2011
12:33 pm

I’ve come to appreciate and relish the obvious and not so obvious differences in Women. The coyness in some, the subtle flirts from others as well as the full frontal attack. I took it upon myself to educate and recognize the differences to better prepare myself for whatever direction I wanted to take. I think whats lost is the substance behind the approach. SOME people place so much thought into the initial approach/ask out that they dont have anything left.

Celisea

July 20th, 2011
12:34 pm

Chas – I just prefer confidence in a woman and a libidious nature. What she did and with how many numbers is none of my concern.

Gotcha. I was just wondering because it’s not the amount of lovers you’ve stacked, it the know how. You don’t need one hundred dudes to teach one hundred new tricks.