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Dating news: Men like getting asked out!?

Earlier this week, we talked about whether or not women should date more like men. Ladies, if you ever wonder what men go through on the dating scene, try approaching a perfect stranger.

In my experience, approaching a man can be exciting, terrifying, and empowering (assuming he doesn’t find you repulsive or crazy) – all at once. I don’t do it often enough, but I really should!

The men I know are genuinely surprised and happy to have a woman approach them – compliment them. Oh, asking when you can see him again? Apparently, it’s one of those ego stroking things that some men really enjoy. A lot. Not unlike how women feel when we get asked out!

Do you think living in the south, women are less inclined to approach a man? Friends in other cities say that women don’t have much apprehension about it like us “girls raised in the south” and maybe this is an obstacle in dating.

When a woman approaches a man, does it really seem desperate? Does it depend on how she delivers her “opening line” or how she carries herself?

Guys, when was the last time a woman approached you? What was your first impression? Do you generally like getting approached by women?

Do you think it is better when a woman breaks the ice and then you take it from there?

Ladies, what is your biggest beef with approaching a man? What message do you think it sends to the guy?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

288 comments Add your comment

JASon

July 20th, 2011
6:41 am

Wise diva, my advice would be to lose some weight and work on your appearance. Then you won’t have to works so hard. This will never be a world in which hot women go up to men to talk to them.

Foxy

July 20th, 2011
7:03 am

Good Morning Kids!
Foxy thinks confidence is everything! If you want something – go for it!

Anthony Weiner

July 20th, 2011
7:04 am

I like it when women approach me !

;)

Shut up, JASon!

July 20th, 2011
7:10 am

Jason, hush, you fool! Are you trying to spoil it for us men? I would LOVE it if women approached me.

Bill Clinton

July 20th, 2011
7:13 am

As long as it is not Hillary, I also like women to approach me. :)

John Edwards

July 20th, 2011
7:17 am

All of us Democrats like hot women to approach us! That why I keep a video camera with me all of the time.

Jessie Jackson

July 20th, 2011
7:18 am

I’m always thankful when hot women approach me; however, I am not too keen on fat chicks.

Granny Godzilla

July 20th, 2011
7:20 am

You should always let the man make the first move; otherwise, you look like a slut.

Ted Kennedy's Ghost

July 20th, 2011
7:20 am

I’ll drink to that !

Atlanta School Teacher

July 20th, 2011
7:22 am

Makes no difference to me…I’m constantly cheating on whoever I’m with.

J Henry

July 20th, 2011
7:26 am

It would be refreshing to have a woman compliment or approach us from time to time.

Shy Guy

July 20th, 2011
7:28 am

What do woman think about straight men who shave thier legs?

J Henry

July 20th, 2011
7:29 am

I disagree Granny Godzilla.. It’s 2011, a woman can approach a man without seeming slutty.. The confidence that women seek in men, we ask in return..

Ahhhnold

July 20th, 2011
7:34 am

What’s wrong with sluts? Men love sluts!

APS Teacher

July 20th, 2011
7:42 am

Everybody cheats.

Coach Vince "Coke Head" Dooley

July 20th, 2011
7:43 am

I’ve rarely been caught cheating.

Beverly Hall

July 20th, 2011
7:48 am

I never cheat! ;)

Damon Evans

July 20th, 2011
7:50 am

Be advised that cheating can come back to bite you. :(

Eddie Long

July 20th, 2011
7:51 am

Amen, Damon.
The key is to deny, deny, deny.

Nancy Pelosi

July 20th, 2011
7:52 am

I’ve never had any sane men approach me…what’s wrong with me?

Homer Simpson

July 20th, 2011
7:55 am

This is a funny blog.

[...] stroking things that some men really enjoy. A lot. Not unlike how women feel when we get asked out! http://blogs.ajc.com/misadventures-in-atlanta/2011/07/20/dating-news-men-like-getting-asked-out/?cxn... Bookmark It Hide [...]

MzNewy

July 20th, 2011
8:00 am

I’m old school, I think you let him make the first move. If subtle across the room eye contact and a smile doesn’t entice him to approach me, then I took it as he is not interested…and that is ok, you aren’t going to be everyone’s type.

IMHO, I don’t find it empowering, I find that it smacks of desperation.

Rickster

July 20th, 2011
8:01 am

The last time a Woman approached me was in 1984…got married in 1986 and just celebrated our 25th Anniv. in April.

Jezebel

July 20th, 2011
8:09 am

I get asked out all the time by Married men! What gives?

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 20th, 2011
8:19 am

I am old school and if I recieve eye contact and a smile, I would approach you. I’m impressed and flattered, I don’t think of anything being wrong with her. I see nothing desperate about her actions, ask me out and I’ll go. It don’t always mean a sexual encounter, small convo can be just as sensual.

Good Day To You:

Dave

July 20th, 2011
8:26 am

I think in today’s times, equality means equality. I have been asked out many times and it sure is appreciated.I also do the asking out and it works just as well. But I don’t think that a woman that is described as “HOT” will do much of the asking out. She may act all interested and do everything BUT ask you out, but she’ll let you make the first move. It’s because usually HOT women have a plethora of men already persuing her, so she’s in no hurry. More mature women will ask if they can buy you a drink or even ask you out. That’s confidence and not being concerned with all of the old sociaties stigmatas. You want it and you go get it. Saying it smacks of desperation is simply admitting that you DON’T have that confidence, IMO.

Dave

July 20th, 2011
8:30 am

It’s like when a women is “making the first move” or “initating the emcounter”. It sure is a welcomed change when a woman is vibing so well with you that she takes the lead. Doesn’t mean it will happen all the time, but the surprise when she does is quite arousing. I’ll take one of that order every day and twice on the weekend days.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

July 20th, 2011
8:34 am

There is nothing wrong with either party doing the asking, IMHO. It is how one spins the approach that makes it threatening or not. I really dont do the bar scene, but an invitation on Match or eHarmony by a lady is flattering. If one is looking for a partner rather than a conquest, no male should be offended by being asked out. If the person is someone you see you have no interest in, just thank them graciously for the flattering request but you are seeing someone and looking to see where it might go. A white lie no doubt, but it is not necessary for anyone to destroy the other person’s ego for just asking.

MzNewy

July 20th, 2011
8:36 am

@ Dave, I have confidence but I am old fashion. I believe in being courting. I am engaged but when he and I were just dating, after we had gone out awhile, I would pick up the phone and suggest we do something and would pay for it. Because I believe if you suggest something you should pay. As for the initial encounter, I stick by what I said, but that is just me and how I was raised.

MzNewy

July 20th, 2011
8:37 am

*courted oops

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 20th, 2011
8:52 am

MzNewy:

Would you say courting and dating be two different entities? Courting being where two people are working toward a relationship and dating is more a social activity where either person can evolve from.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 20th, 2011
8:58 am

RandyT how’s it goin? It is flattering when one decides to do that, and I understand the one’s that may want to and is held back by the way they were raised.

MzNewy

July 20th, 2011
9:05 am

@ Blackfoote – yes they are. That is why I clarified…”back when we were dating” Yes I did ask him out after we had been dating awhile. But for the initial approach, I let him do that.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 20th, 2011
9:14 am

I believe they are different too. When I court you my feelings are more aligned and in tune with your emotions. Dating will only lead to or away from the courtship.

Leggs

July 20th, 2011
9:16 am

Good morning.

First things first, HAPPY B-DAY TO OUR ONE AND ONLY TRUTH. HOPE YOU HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY!

I see nothing wrong with asking a man out. I have asked out a few and I have paid for the date!

Amia in Atl

July 20th, 2011
9:19 am

@ Jason – I have seen plus size, curvy women with so much confidence that they can approach any many.
I personally think that a man should still do the asking out initially. I have no problem flirting and giving you all the signd you need to have the confidence. If I have given all the signs, short of jumping on you, and you still don’t do it, then I take it as lack of confidence or you aren’t into me. Fine, I just take my flirting to the next.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 20th, 2011
9:20 am

Hello Leggs.

Simple Man....

July 20th, 2011
9:23 am

” I don’t find it empowering, I find that it smacks of desperation.”

WOW!!! Really???? What ever happened to being a strong, liberated woman???

Celisea

July 20th, 2011
9:24 am

Morning,

We’ve talked about this before. A person should do what works for them. For me? I like the man to approach and be the pursuer he was born to be. It’s within our gender roles to make happen what nature intended to happen. The woman gives off her scent (smiles, come hither looks, inviting, warm, the friendlies, etc) and the man takes the cue. Nothing hard or unnatural about that. I dunno, it’s jus always so much more, how shall I say it….gratifying when I know you’re interested by the obvious actions.

IMO, women not interested will in most cases make it known. No need to take it further. However a man not REALLY interested may “go along” because if nothing else, he may get a little something out of it. My other reason for never really buying into the whole idea of approaching a man. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not shy….at all and like MzNewy said have no problem initiating time together once we’ve established something.

Celisea

July 20th, 2011
9:30 am

Dating vs Courting Depends on the person and their intents. IMO, if you aren’t really interested in anything to serious and want to have a plethora of “friends” then dating is the safe term. If a person is seriously interested in pursuing where things can potentially go, dating or courting….IMO, it all becomes the same. If they are truly different at what point does one segue into the other? If they are truly different is there a conversation from dating to courting? Do you say I’m no longer dating you, I’m now courting you?? Not likely. I think it depends on the person and their intents. Someone REALLY digging you and wanting in it to win it…IMO don’t have to have that conversation. Things progess accordingly.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 20th, 2011
9:30 am

Celisea you sarting early talking about giving off her scents and things. How else will a wolf track you down j/k……LOL

MzNewy

July 20th, 2011
9:31 am

@ Simple – I believe in still letting a man be a man. I don’t proclaim to be a “strong liberated woman”. Yes, I believe in being able to take care of myself, but my fiance’ still has the lead and will have the lead in our home.

Celisea

July 20th, 2011
9:31 am

Blackfoote – YOU are starting early. I made no mention of wolf. You must have a ready button for those fangs…lol I kid I kid.

Celisea

July 20th, 2011
9:35 am

There must be a “scatch and sniff here” button the some of the screens…lol

J Henry

July 20th, 2011
9:36 am

Celisea-So you’re saying that you would initiate certain “cues” as a form of making the 1st move?

Celisea

July 20th, 2011
9:36 am

I’m strong and liberated but I still want you to want me and come after me and show me… hey I likes what I likes. A woman feeling that will naturally reciprocate.

Now that “someone” in back in the country…I got meetings. Maybe I can pop back in later.

MzNewy

July 20th, 2011
9:36 am

@ Celisea – IMHO, they become different when you each stop seeing other people. It may not be a conversation perse, but there is a change in the interaction. For example, when Mr. Newy and I switched from dating to courtship, it was somewhat subtle. I would always call first before coming by, even if we agreed on hanging out; when he announced that “I didn’t need to call first” was the first sign that our relationship was changing. We didn’t announce that we weren’t seeing others, but we spent so much time together that others fell off naturally.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 20th, 2011
9:37 am

Celisea I’m as harmles as a new born puppy…..LOL

Celisea

July 20th, 2011
9:37 am

J Henry – So you’re saying that you would initiate certain “cues” as a form of making the 1st move?

I’m saying if a woman if feeling you she’ll give you an opening. Sometimes things are misread or misleading but overall…for me…I have no problem letting you know you can approach.