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Relationship debate: It’s just a fantasy!

It can really fun and enlightening hanging around people who have been married or together for a really long time. I caught quite an earful when the topic of fantasies came up at a dinner party recently. There seemed to be a debate about whether they are healthy or if they can be dangerous.

I was surprised to find that while a few of the men supported their women having fantasies about other men – they just don’t want to hear about it. Ever.

Of course, being the “chatty” talk about everything type, the women over shared the fantasy details. That’s right, ladies…it’s all fun and games, until you start yammering away about who you were really thinking about when you were with him.

If you have been married or in a long term relationship, did you ever indulge in sharing your fantasies? Do you think having a fantasy is like the gateway drug to cheating? Is it something that should be handled delicately?

Should you keep your fantasies about other people to yourself? Could you handle hearing your partner talk about it? Would it matter if it were a celebrity fantasy?

I ask because one of the women works in the entertainment industry. She is constantly meeting all kind of fine men. Her husband clearly is not a fan of the fantasy sharing. He doesn’t want to be faced with a situation where he is in the same room with the “fantasy celebrity” – can’t say I blame him!

What do you think? If you are fantasizing about someone else, is that a sign that the relationship is in trouble?

160 comments Add your comment

Wise Diva

July 19th, 2011
11:00 am

This is what happens when you blog at 3:00 in the morning, folks. My Apologies!

Purple Rain

July 19th, 2011
11:03 am

I think if you are fantasizing about someone who is accessable that might be a problem, if the fantasies are about a celebrity or star there is nothing wrong with it. Role play and spice up your love life every now and then. I know my wife has fantasies about Brad Pitt and I can’t remeber the other guy, I am cool with that.

Sassy Black ;-)

July 19th, 2011
11:05 am

No problema Wise…for a minute I thought we were on punishment or something. :lol:

SexyCool

July 19th, 2011
11:08 am

Sassy Black – that was my thought as well after that rauncharama shindig from yesterday. (lol) :)

SlimNu

July 19th, 2011
11:12 am

Dayum, looks like someone changed the locks on us…

I agree with Purple Paw. ;-)

Purple Rain

July 19th, 2011
11:15 am

Celisea

July 19th, 2011
11:18 am

SC/Sassy – that was my thought as well after that rauncharama shindig from yesterday. (lol

Me too…I asked if we were being punished. Didn’t know if we crossed the line with Diva and went too far.

Late morning folks….on topic:

Can’t really recall “fantasies. Fantasies don’t really do a lot for me. I like real life stuff. I’d have a problem though if my SO was verbal about a fantasy with someone within reach. I don’t play those kinds of games. Too, not only does Celisea catch feelings, she can also get jealous. I know how to hold back and refrain but I can’t prevent that feeling from creeping up when I know there are things my SO thinks about doing to and with another person. Nope, that ain’t cool. I’m like a dude in that case…don’t tell me about because I’m not likely to forget it. Now you want to think about movie stars and folks that won’t every know you exist or meet you in this life time…have at it.

MzNewy

July 19th, 2011
11:19 am

I agree with PR….I think that there is nothing wrong with it.

Good morning everyone. I also thought we were on punishment. :)

Celisea

July 19th, 2011
11:19 am

SexyCool

July 19th, 2011
11:20 am

I don’t fantasize about being with other people. I fantasize about living the best version of the life that I have now. And I *try* to consistently make decisions to move me down that path.

MzNewy

July 19th, 2011
11:21 am

Ahhh but Celisea your comment makes alot of sense…there is nothing wrong with fantasies perse…just keep them to yourself. :)

Purple Rain

July 19th, 2011
11:25 am

Rue La La’s sale today is Gucci!

Celisea

July 19th, 2011
11:25 am

MzNewy – The extent of my fantasies are when I’m getting to know a person and the “what will be or become”…that’s it. Daydreaming and wishing and hoping about someone he or I know IMO ain’t cool. I surely wouldn’t want my man fantasizing about someone I know or someone he knows that I don’t know. Not cool to “wish” on anyone within reach. I think flirting and the likes with “people” because of fantasies can and often does go too far. But that’s just me and my opinion. Like I said someone on the other side of the world that you’ll never know or get to me…have at it.

Purple Rain

July 19th, 2011
11:25 am

My fantasies tend to be a bit to descriptive to share.

Celisea

July 19th, 2011
11:26 am

Look at PR – Let me see if I have an alert from them. I usually have those notifications to move to a “special” folder…lol

Celisea

July 19th, 2011
11:27 am

Yep PR, I have that one.

Celisea

July 19th, 2011
11:28 am

PR – If it involves fangs, yeah you might want to keep ‘em to yourself.

Celisea

July 19th, 2011
11:28 am

they…your fantasies..not “it”

Purple Rain

July 19th, 2011
11:30 am

Celisea, Gucci products today along with Men’s Luxury Footwear. :)

Celisea

July 19th, 2011
11:32 am

Celisea

July 19th, 2011
11:33 am

It’s not that expensive on Rue La La..it’s $129

On the internet it shows for $395….a tad too steep for my pockets :(

Sassy Black ;-)

July 19th, 2011
11:37 am

that was my thought as well after that rauncharama shindig from yesterday

Yeah with me chiming in all extra extra on the prostate talk and all…

Leggs

July 19th, 2011
11:39 am

Good morning. I’ve asked around to see if you guys got out of end and if the foreclosure tape was on the door!

If you should have the pleasure of finding someone willing to act out one or two of your fantasies consider yourself privileged. If in a committed relationship, fantasies may be easier to pull off. I really don’t know. However, if single and you can have even one come to fruition, smile, relish the memories, but don’t harp on it with others. They really don’t care, and your new beau definitely doesn’t want to hear about it!

MzNewy

July 19th, 2011
11:40 am

When I think of fantasies…they involve my partner…however they are too descriptive to share as well. I keep them to myself. *blush* but it does spice things up.

Celisea

July 19th, 2011
11:40 am

Yeah with me chiming in all extra extra on the prostate talk and all…

Shoot, I learned something… This blog can be informative. Two things I know taint spot and altoids :) And to think I consider myself pretty well experienced.

SlimNu

July 19th, 2011
11:46 am

I really must’ve have missed out on yesterday’s blog…hadn’t had a chance to read it.

From across the room, I am sneaking peeks at you and it makes me smile. It turns into a game at times, as I keep a watchful eye for any sign that you’ll catch me. Then I think, if I get caught how will I play that off?… but I continue to take that chance…My mind is all over the place but you can always tell when it becomes mischievous because that smile comes with hungry eyes. I say hungry eyes because my thoughts awaken a hunger for you…a hunger filled with passion, excitement, desire. The mental picture I paint in my head could be part of any hot, steamy novel about us…your dark, smooth, silky skin that I imagine being covered by my kisses…your strong, stern physique…those arms…chest…overall, which would seem untamable, I picture coming to me and embracing me with such a firm gentleness. Your dark sexy eyes, I picture connecting with mine after they’ve scanned my body. If your eyes could talk, I’d hear them saying how sexy you found me to be, as they were tracing my lips to my neckline, over my shoulders to the small yet engourged breasts, canvassing over my super erect n ipples, as if you wouldn’t mind a taste…to tracing my petite curvey waste, admiring my body art before you glimpse down to my moist nature. Even though it only takes a second for this process, it feels like time stops to allow a slow summary taken of my body…

(to be continued) :oops:

SlimNu

July 19th, 2011
11:49 am

My breathing now deepens and my body seems to move without instruction. I’m anticipating your smell…that smell I look forward to so many times…that smell that makes me feel ‘home’. But more so, I yearn for your touch…the chills I get from the first contact of your lips to my skin. My head is thinking so far ahead that I just wanna take you, straddle you, kiss u passionately and let my love pour out BUT I want to be patient. I don’t want to rush…I want to be submissive to your plan and let you have me in the way you want to. You have a hunger and I’m the meal. Strongly anticipating the entrance of your stiff throbbing manhood inside me…wanna grab your back in a tight embrace…and let our lovemaking be the pen in the writing of our own real live poem…souls connecting. All this so overwhelming, I can see my eyes welting up with tears. Tears because I’m being in the moment with you, so open and all that is inside is overflowing. Then that moment is close…the moment when you go into a different dimension, all is ok and nothing else matters but here & now. Our previously moving bodies are at a halt but the warmth still remains as the only sound heard is that of our rapidly beating hearts. Thinking there is no place else I’d rather be….

SexyCool

July 19th, 2011
11:54 am

Yep…that’ll get ‘em started for today.

Sassy Black ;-)

July 19th, 2011
11:56 am

Two things I know taint spot and altoids

I learned about the Altoids here,too. Now I’m wondering about the physiology behind how they work…I’m sure if I think long enough..

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 19th, 2011
11:57 am

Good call I have fantasies none will ever come to fruition and that’s what a fantasy is. It’s healthy to fantasize when it’s not done out of spite.

Good Day All:
Hi Leggs!

SlimNu

July 19th, 2011
11:58 am

Can yall imagine i sent the beau this one day as he was sitting over on the other couch via my dayum phone. I had carpal tunnel for a whole week after writing this but I guess I was in a zone :lol:

Sassy Black ;-)

July 19th, 2011
11:59 am

Well damn Slim Nu!!…it ain’t even noon yet gurl (not that that matters here anyway). You ain’t feelin some kinda way are ya?

Purple Rain

July 19th, 2011
12:03 pm

Altoids, what do they do?

Slim I am not reading all of that, I am already having a hard time today.

SlimNu

July 19th, 2011
12:04 pm

Sassy – This is something I had sent The Beau a while back and I came across it last night when I was cleaning out my sentbox…After I read it last night, I was thinking dayum I can’t believe how that came out. Make a chick wannna become ‘one with herself’ since i’m left to my own devices at the moment :lol:

Celisea

July 19th, 2011
12:04 pm

Cue up the theme from Romeo and Juliet. I tell ya, I hear that playing every time we’re graced with a “chapter of love” from the Chronicles of Passion…lol

Celisea

July 19th, 2011
12:05 pm

PR – Slim I am not reading all of that, I am already having a hard time today.

What’s ailing you today?

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 19th, 2011
12:07 pm

Ola Senorita’s Sassie, Celie, SeixyC, MizNewy, and Slim.
And Senior Purpel.

SlimNu

July 19th, 2011
12:08 pm

PP – You don’t have to read it….now. Save it for later lol

Sassy Black ;-)

July 19th, 2011
12:08 pm

Make a chick wannna become ‘one with herself’ since i’m left to my own devices at the moment

I’m waiting on Swiss to come with some !@#$%^& aaaaaany second now….

:lol: @ The chapter of love from the Chronicles of Passion Too cute n funny!

Leggs

July 19th, 2011
12:09 pm

Alighty, SlimNu!

@SassyMe ~ I learned about the altoids and the beads on the blog.

Hello, Blackfoote!

Sassy Black ;-)

July 19th, 2011
12:10 pm

Heeey Blackfoote…como estas papi ;-)

SlimNu

July 19th, 2011
12:10 pm

Blackfoote – I likes that name you gave Purp, Senior Purpellllll (gotta let the “l” roll off your tongue for an extra second)

Celisea

July 19th, 2011
12:10 pm

Morning Blackfoote

SlimNu

July 19th, 2011
12:11 pm

Sassy – Yeah you have a point there…any talks of CT’s, raunchiness, etc is like a CAT signal…cough cough…i meant a Bat signal for Super Swiss lol

Sassy Black ;-)

July 19th, 2011
12:12 pm

Yes Leggs we’ve had some interesting blog convos…to say the least.

Sassy Black ;-)

July 19th, 2011
12:13 pm

I’m surprised he hasn’t come flying in yet Slim Nu..

Purple Rain

July 19th, 2011
12:14 pm

Buon giorno, piede di nero. LOL

Celisea, my ailment is not blog material, I still love you though!

Purple Rain

July 19th, 2011
12:15 pm

Will someone tell me the deal with Altoids?

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 19th, 2011
12:16 pm

Slim like Purple my eyes got crossed trying to read it, could find where I started and left off at……LOL
Taking your advice I’ll save it for later.

Purple Rain

July 19th, 2011
12:17 pm

Leggs, did you have fun? I hope you followed my advice and had some goodtimes that you can not tell on the blog!