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Should women date like men?

I was listening to a song the other day, called Do It Like A Dude. It was by the singer Jessie J and the lyrics – and video – are quite hilarious. I thought how silly it would be if women behaved as men. No offense to the gentleman folk but I am not sure I could ever carry on like you do.

When it comes to dating, I can be dude-like in some instances, though. I know a lot of men who don’t rush a dating relationship. I am the type that takes it super slow, and I don’t usually get clingy with the men I date.

What would happen if more women dated like men, though? Would it be a good thing for some, bad thing for others?

Could some men stand to date like a woman?

What dating or relationship habits/behaviors do you think we could benefit from adopting from the opposite sex?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

392 comments Add your comment

SexyCool

July 18th, 2011
12:46 pm

“WOMEN equate dating to screwing.”

Yeah…no…I don’t.

Also…who all has actually READ SH’s book to know EXACTLY what it says?

Into the Light

July 18th, 2011
12:47 pm

Sooo, PR…inquiring minds want to know. Is Steve Harvey your ex?

Purple Rain

July 18th, 2011
12:47 pm

Celisea, why are you on the defensive so much on certain topics? You sound like a pre married kimmie. #Team Backlash coming my way now. LOL

Sexy Cool, Hugh defines himself as a player and not some reformed player writing books.

kimmie, I honestly would think someone with 4 wives 3 of them ex wives as someone who has some sort of esteem issues or something. I would not listen to that person about anything if I knew that before hand.

Purple Rain

July 18th, 2011
12:49 pm

kimmie, that is what pimps do. Get a little money from each woman in the stable, next thing you know you have on green suits and drive green caddilacs, drink out of huge cups then have cameo’s with Snoop Doggy Dog!

SexyCool

July 18th, 2011
12:49 pm

Yeah…I didn’t say anything about Hugh writing books. I was talking about him being IN THE GAME.

Purple Rain

July 18th, 2011
12:50 pm

ITL, I will answer that after you admit to being Simple Man. Inquiring minds want to know. LOl My example of relationships…Umm I look no farther than my family members. :)

Celisea

July 18th, 2011
12:51 pm

Not so sure I agree with the “age” reason. SH has reached a level of financial success that cancels the age card. If old ass Hugh Hefner is still in the game, well………

No matter how much financial success it can’t buy him a hard on or get it up. Money can do a whole lot of things and a whole lot it cannot. Money can’t revert back and take off 20 years. He can stay in the game but he goes from skilled active playa to a playa by default. Time brings it all in.

We take Hugh Hefner…just a sad sad day. The thing he loved so much is the thing that’s failing him now. Those chicks can hang on to him but it’s certainly no longer for the same reasons say 30 years ago. Tell me he doesn’t realize and know that. Not the same. Buying ass versus landing ass

bamabelle2000

July 18th, 2011
12:52 pm

Well there you go, so no purple not all women think that way. I’ve been out with white men and most of them who ask me out on date, mean DATE.

Purple Rain

July 18th, 2011
12:53 pm

Hugh, is an anomaly, just have to give him five and hope that my pipes still work when I get to that age. Seriously if he did not own playboy but worked at the local laundrymat mopping. I doubt he would have women like he does now. I wonder if any of those women really “love” him.

kimmie

July 18th, 2011
12:53 pm

Purple – So you can’t be friends with or talk to people with esteem issues? Newsflash, you probably know folks like that already, and before you went back to farming, talked to them every day. Folks got all kinds of stuff going on in their closets. They just don’t talk about them all the time. Doesn’t mean they don’t have anything else of value to offer their opinion or expertise on. Like I said, Harvey just married his long-terms. I really don’t see him having any more issues than any other flawed human being.

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

July 18th, 2011
12:55 pm

I believe in dating multiple guys until I find the right one. That does NOT mean sleep with them. If a guy asks me out, he should pay because if I asked him out I would. But I always expect to go Dutch because you never know when some men. Don’t order nothing you can not pay for. That is what I was taught. Not to mention, if you pay for your own…those losers who believe that you owe them booty for a friggin’ meal can not come at you. Sorry, I do not open the pearly gates for any fool with a Coke and Smile! :lol:

I used to believe in dating one person at a time. But that gave me a reality slap, that guy is not only dating me. So why should I put all my eggs in one basket? I wish I could. I am sure things woudl be alot easier if guys and girls were on the same page. Hell if they were even reading the same book things would be easier! If I like a guy and he comes with the, “I’m not ready for a relationship” crap, although I will respect his honesty, he will get put on the,” Call Only When Bored” list! Why waste my time? Time waits for no man, so why should I? If I happen to move on and find the right guy and this dude comes back, he gets the hand in face. :roll: You had your chance sucka! :lol:

Into the Light

July 18th, 2011
12:55 pm

Those chicks can hang on to him but it’s certainly no longer for the same reasons say 30 years ago.

His money and/or a chance to be in his magazine and the opportunities that noteriety would bring are no longer the reasons?????

kimmie

July 18th, 2011
12:56 pm

I wonder if any of those women really “love” him.

Purple, please tell me you are not that naive!!! :lol:

Purple Rain

July 18th, 2011
12:56 pm

bama, so being that I am not white and if I asked you out on a date what do you think I would expect to happen?

How did you know I was in my 20’s?

SexyCool

July 18th, 2011
12:57 pm

Thirty years ago, Hugh Hefner was older than SH is now.

Purple Rain

July 18th, 2011
12:57 pm

kimmie, that’s why I typed earlier”If I knew before hand”

kimmie, they may “love” him because he is white and he may have actually dated them. Because bama, has been out with white men who actually dated her. Probably cuz all the brothers know she’s a ho.

bamabelle2000

July 18th, 2011
12:58 pm

Amen Black Magic, AMEN

Celisea

July 18th, 2011
12:58 pm

I had a friend that sent me an email with the book attached as a pdf file. I read it and I thought less of him and his idea than when I read it before. I take offense to a dude that wants to write in the form of solutions and “here’s how you do it” but no real concrete advice and answers. All he did IMO, was state how he would do things and what he wants and why he cheated. Those are not “answers” to women and their inability to land a man. Those were thoughts surrounding how and what he did during the time he carred no regard for his first wife or the second wife. Ladies you won’t keep a man if you don’t sit up straight, stay a certain size, act a certain way, do certain things…the way he likes. Um, that’s not grand news for me. Heck that’s how men (some) are. I agree with the idea of pleasing your man and learning compromising. That’s a 2 way street thought. When you’re teaching one-sidedenss then that’s the time to let those kind of jokes roll out. That’s what I got from his book….one-sidedness.

Purple Rain

July 18th, 2011
12:59 pm

BMW, you said all of that to say that I am not your only guy? Way to let me know :(

Into the Light

July 18th, 2011
1:00 pm

….stepping out until the name-calling is over….. smh

bamabelle2000

July 18th, 2011
1:02 pm

Purple like I said in an earlier post, most men and women who think dating means screwing is under 35. I’m in my late 30’s so I got some old school in me so my definition of dating is different from yours. And I’m not sure what to expect if you asked me out on a date to be honest. Do you mean actually going some where or do you mean going to my place or yours and sleeping together?

Celisea

July 18th, 2011
1:03 pm

His money and/or a chance to be in his magazine and the opportunities that noteriety would bring are no longer the reasons?????

ITL – I’m not a man but I’d venture to say a man knows when he’s “getting” with nothing but a slice of bread versus when it takes allllll of that (you named) in buying a chick to look his way. I’d venture to say he can look proud, stand tall and walk proud but he ain’t pleasing the same way, landing it the same way, tossing it the same way and probably can’t keep it the same way. You want a dude hanging on to you for you for what you can physically buy and give to keep him?

SexyCool

July 18th, 2011
1:04 pm

Like kimmie, I found SH’s book to be an entertaining read. Did I get much value from it? Did I learn something new and exciting? Naw…not really.

Do I think that there are those for whom it has value? Yes, I do. Will I villify him for using his platform in the way that he has? No.

There were points that he made that I found to be valid and others that I thought to be questionable. As with anything, you take what you need, IF you need anything, and leave the rest there.

Celisea

July 18th, 2011
1:05 pm

I was asking do you want a dude hanging on to you for you OR for what you can physically buy and give to keep him.

….stepping out until the name-calling is over….. smh

Okay…who’s name calling.

Celisea

July 18th, 2011
1:06 pm

I was asking do you want a dude hanging on to you for you OR for what you can physically buy and give to keep him.

….stepping out until the name-calling is over….. smh

Okay…who’s name calling?

Purple Rain

July 18th, 2011
1:06 pm

ITL, see you later come back when you can rool with the jokes today.

bama, I am in my 40’s, not white nor black and very very traditional. You don’t even get to dating before you court in my book and that involves getting to know the parents close family amongst other things. All of that is not important, point is you should not make assumptions(my age, ethnicity etc). It reads as if you have your point of view and you don’t think anyone agrees with you and you are to busy making your point to see that people are actually agreeing with what you said. Slow down, breather and live, laugh and love. Your life is only as complicates as you make it.

bamabelle2000

July 18th, 2011
1:11 pm

Purple I don’t care if anyone agrees with me or not, I’m not here to kiss @ss or make friends. you just made the assumption yourself that ALL women think screwing is dating and me and another woman proved you wrong. If you a man in your 40’s, then you should know better. If you are painting all women with the same broad brush, then you don’t know a lot about how women think.

Into the Light

July 18th, 2011
1:13 pm

I knew that’s what you meant, Cel. And the answer, of course, is that I want to be loved for me. And Hugh probably does, too. But the reality is that the reasons he attracts so many women are the ones I listed above. And, the lack of “realness” in the ones he is attracting may be why his relationships tend to be short-lived.

My bad, PR, if you know Bama better than I realized and y’all can joke like that.

kimmie

July 18th, 2011
1:13 pm

Purple – So you’re saying situations like Anna Nicole Smith & her old dude in the wheelchair – there is a possibility that these young women are actually “in love” with them?

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Into the Light

July 18th, 2011
1:14 pm

And PS, Purple, yes, I’m Simple Man and everyone else on the blog except you. It’s just me, sitting in my mom’s basement, eating Twinkies and drinking Jolt cola and you populating blog land. :)

bamabelle2000

July 18th, 2011
1:15 pm

And FYI, I’m speaking from my experience of what dating is to me not someone else’s. Nor did I say that ALL white men act this way either.

Purple Rain

July 18th, 2011
1:16 pm

bama, I don’t care how all women think. I care about how my wife thinks, that I properly courted,dated,vested and married. Obviously you lacked the ability to see when I switched from saying “Some” to implying “all” as you have done in most of your posting. Just so that you can see how you might be coming off in your posting.

bamabelle2000

July 18th, 2011
1:17 pm

I didn’t say ALL I said Most get it right.

Celisea

July 18th, 2011
1:18 pm

But the reality is that the reasons he attracts so many women are the ones I listed above. And, the lack of “realness” in the ones he is attracting may be why his relationships tend to be short-lived.

Is that attraction though? You answered your own question. If it’s short lived and never grows nor have grown into anything solid…well there you have it.

Purple Rain

July 18th, 2011
1:18 pm

kimmie, yes that was true unadulterated love. LOL

bamabelle2000

July 18th, 2011
1:18 pm

Like I said Purple you don’t know a lot about women and it seems like most of the ladies on here don’t take you seriously.

Purple Rain

July 18th, 2011
1:20 pm

bama, your point?

bamabelle2000

July 18th, 2011
1:21 pm

Hugh Heffer gets these girls cause he is RICH. PERIOD. They say the young lady who just left him at the alter was just trying to get herself a reality show and it was going to start with her leaving his old behind at the alter.

Purple Rain

July 18th, 2011
1:21 pm

bama, I think and I am willing to bet that most on here are not taking you seriously.

Celisea

July 18th, 2011
1:21 pm

ITL – Maybe it’s me and my warped thinking but I don’t want nobody hanging for what I can buy and labeling it something different. I don’t think too many sane folks would do that. He knows at what almost 90 he’s a cash cow. Those young chicks can bring all the rack and good sex…he can’t do nothing with that now. I’m using and emphasizing sex but that’s what it was all about for him during the time he was able to have a real live and real love. Sort of what I was saying about Steve. No I’m sure it’s not been the same kind of party for Steve but I’m using the same concept. If he could turn back the hand of time and take it back say 25 years, would he still be offering advice or would he be trying to milk the game just the little bit longer?

bamabelle2000

July 18th, 2011
1:22 pm

And as I said Purple I could care less. It’s my opinion.

Purple Rain

July 18th, 2011
1:22 pm

I am being nice only because Leggs is not here to give out vests.

Into the Light

July 18th, 2011
1:23 pm

Yes, it is attraction. His money and fame are attractive to a certain type of woman and he will continue to attract that type of woman until the day he dies.

Purple Rain

July 18th, 2011
1:25 pm

You really do not realize what is happening do you? Ever been trout fishing before, you tease them with the bait and they just keep lunging and lunging until they tire they you swoop them up once they think they have it in their mouth

Celisea

July 18th, 2011
1:29 pm

Yes, it is attraction. His money and fame are attractive to a certain type of woman and he will continue to attract that type of woman until the day he dies.

Umm, okay then…lol And I’m done here.

MzNewy

July 18th, 2011
1:31 pm

SC…I read SH books and like you, I found them entertaining. Nothing earth shattering in them but things that you should know if you have a decent head on your shoulders.

bamabelle2000

July 18th, 2011
1:33 pm

So purple you saying because you married, therefore that makes you an expert on women?

Celisea

July 18th, 2011
1:35 pm

I bought new glasses Saturday. I’ve done the square rimmed for 4 or 5 years now so I did something different…I WENT BACK TO ROUND RIMMED GLASSES. But they are soooo cute and sexy.

bamabelle2000

July 18th, 2011
1:36 pm

Maybe you know what your wife wants, but that doesn’t mean we ALL want the same thing as she does or thinks like her. My point all along which you seem to miss is that it’s nothing wrong with women having options and that men have been doing that for years. The only people who seem to have a real problem with that are insecure men.

SexyCool

July 18th, 2011
1:37 pm

How about a better example? Closer in age – George Clooney.