Should women date like men?
I was listening to a song the other day, called Do It Like A Dude. It was by the singer Jessie J and the lyrics – and video – are quite hilarious. I thought how silly it would be if women behaved as men. No offense to the gentleman folk but I am not sure I could ever carry on like you do.
When it comes to dating, I can be dude-like in some instances, though. I know a lot of men who don’t rush a dating relationship. I am the type that takes it super slow, and I don’t usually get clingy with the men I date.
What would happen if more women dated like men, though? Would it be a good thing for some, bad thing for others?
Could some men stand to date like a woman?
What dating or relationship habits/behaviors do you think we could benefit from adopting from the opposite sex?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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392 comments Add your comment
Purple Rain
July 18th, 2011
10:44 am
A garden park sounds nice, since I have been back home, my abs are back perfect(worked off that “office” flab”)shoulders, arms, back and legs are ripped. LOLOkay let me hush before Exiled comes in making me feel uncomfortable again. LOL
Into the Light
July 18th, 2011
10:46 am
Blackfoote, how was the party? Hope you had a great time.
Purple Rain
July 18th, 2011
10:47 am
ITL, what have you done with Simple Man?
Into the Light
July 18th, 2011
10:49 am
I have no idea what you are talking about, PR.
Purple Rain
July 18th, 2011
10:49 am
Celisea, i don’t curl up, I just kind of lay back and relax
Purple Rain
July 18th, 2011
10:50 am
Didn’t you two go to BoneFish?
Into the Light
July 18th, 2011
10:52 am
LOL@BoneFish. Never been.
bamabelle2000
July 18th, 2011
10:53 am
I think dating like a man to me is giving yourself more options. If you read the comments by some of the men, it scares them to DEATH that a woman would have the nerve to do that to them. But if women dated like men, you don’t tell the guys you are dating. Hell that’s what they do to us and isn’t that what the Bachelorette is doing?
abc
July 18th, 2011
10:56 am
I find the premise that ‘dating like a man’ is to just chase the puddy and not give a dayum to be faulty. If that’s what you’re talking about, then you just want to give yourself permission to be a ho. If that’s the only kind of man you’ve known, expand your horizons a little bit.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
July 18th, 2011
10:57 am
ITL:
The birthday party went well, I danced and danced (tried to anyway)….LOL…Course there were other birthday party’s going on and we all just combined. It wasn’t overcrowded, when I left around 1 people were still lined up trying to get in.
bamabelle2000
July 18th, 2011
10:59 am
ABC why is that when men act like “ho’s” that’s ok. If a woman acted like Samantha from Sex and the City, most men couldn’t take it for the fear they couldn’t live up to the other dude. And you assume she talking about sleeping with someone. I’m guessing she is saying date as in go out, hang out type stuff.
abc
July 18th, 2011
11:02 am
I’m saying that if the only men you know are ho’s themselves, then you need to get a better perspective on who and what men are in general. Stop seeing the men you see. Get to know the other guys.
To say ‘date like a man’ means to be a ho and rationalize it somehow, even if based on your own experiences, only says that you’re a ho anyway. Else, you’d know men that weren’t like that.
Purple Rain
July 18th, 2011
11:03 am
bama, you are assuming that all men would think they way you stated in your 10:59. Don’t assume all men think that way.
bamabelle2000
July 18th, 2011
11:06 am
Purple I didn’t say ALL men act that, but I think most of them do call me a cynic. And ABC I think your thinking is the mentality of a lot of men who think like little boys. You think that if a woman dates more then one man then she is a ho, so maybe it’s the women you hang out with that has you thinking that way.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
July 18th, 2011
11:07 am
ABC didn’t mean to get inbetween you Bamabelle 2000. It’s possible you both have valid points.
abc
July 18th, 2011
11:09 am
Nope. I have no doubt about the whole scenario, and I’m hardly a little boy. And, if a woman is dating more than one man at a time, yes indeed, I look askance. She’s just out for a good time. And that’s fine for her; too bad for the men, unless they’re ho’s themselves and all they’re after is a good time. Reap what you sow.
Purple Rain
July 18th, 2011
11:11 am
bama, maybe in a certain age group. But most men know a good woman and are seeking that and are not out ho’ing. That’s from a male perspective.
bamabelle2000
July 18th, 2011
11:14 am
I think the problem here ABC is you a cynic and you assume these women are sleeping with these men, now I think if she is doing that then she is wrong but men do the same thing and other men call them “playas” and NEVER call them out on cheating on their gf’s especially if she is a good woman. And if the woman plays the game right, who’s to say the men would find out anyway? I think it’s just fear among men that you’d lose out to another brotha.
bamabelle2000
July 18th, 2011
11:16 am
Purple I hope you right about that. To me though, this is about giving yourself options and seeing what’s out there. That to me doesn’t mean sleeping around.
abc
July 18th, 2011
11:17 am
I’d say you’re hanging with the wrong men, if that’s your perspective. Do better, or keep on with what you’re into.
I’m no cynic. I’m a pragmatist. You want to cite ‘problems’, let’s start with typing in ebonics.
kimmie
July 18th, 2011
11:19 am
I actually do have a feeling where Wise is coming from with this topic. It’s kinda like that Steve Harvey book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. It’s not saying women need to behave like frat boys and run around and get “notches” on their belts. It’s saying women might want to approach dating from a different mindset, one that might be a little more practical and based less on emotion.
I just happen to appreciate the gender differences and the best of what both bring to the table, without one having to over-accomodate the other.
bamabelle2000
July 18th, 2011
11:20 am
Ok now we taking to another level. First of all you don’t know me, second I didn’t know the grammar police was in charge here today and third quite frankly you sound like a very insecure man who can’t stand the thought of a woman thinking he’s not good enough for her; very controlling to me. Purple THIS is the type of man I’m talking about.
For Real
July 18th, 2011
11:23 am
On topic: The problem with the word “DATE” is that women have one definition of “DATE” and men have another definition of “DATE”. Women equate dating to sex. Men equate dating to an activity that may lead to sex. Therefore, if a woman dates more than one man WOMEN deem her a ho because women believe she is sexing each man she is dating. So, Wise you need to define “DATING” before you can ask a question of “should women date like men”.
Bama: Wise never defined dating thus anyone can make an assumption of what Wise definition of dating is and they would be correct. Now, a ho is a ho regardless of their gender.
bamabelle2000
July 18th, 2011
11:23 am
I agree with you Kimmie but some men aren’t able to take that. In this age of Internet dating, a lot of men and women consider “dating” as going to bed with someone, not the actual act of spending quality time with a person.
Celisea
July 18th, 2011
11:27 am
Ut oh…lol
bamabelle2000 – I don’t think abc is much of a cynic as he is old fashioned. I think most think he’s negative but I think he holds to the old traditions and values…I’m there with him. Which in turn makes me read like a cynic most days…lol
I get what’s he’s relaying as well as what you’re saying about getting out there and finding options, void of consumating…it’s possible to do. Only catch with that would be, you as a lady, must must must practice discretion. I could be wrong but most men simply don’t want wh@res or to believe they’re dating a wh@re. If you give off that you have several options (even though not sleeping) with them, they still in the back of their minds just might believe that’s not possible. And probably because by comparision it’s not what they do…date and don’t consumate. Never let the right hand know what the left hand is doing…even if it’s nothing you’re doing
IMO, THAT’S dating like a man. Not banging every dude with a pulse.
Celisea
July 18th, 2011
11:29 am
Women equate dating to sex. Men equate dating to an activity that may lead to sex. Therefore, if a woman dates more than one man WOMEN deem her a ho because women believe she is sexing each man she is dating.
I agree…..this is what I was thinking. You layed it out better
For Real
July 18th, 2011
11:29 am
Kimmie: I am proud of you. I thought you would have turned this around to “women changing to satisfy men”. I agree with what you said. Wise should have been a lot more clear tho.
Celisea
July 18th, 2011
11:30 am
Only thing I would add would be if PEOPLE (men and wome alike) knew a woman was dating more than one man they’d assume she was sexing all and conclude hoing going on…not just women.
kimmie
July 18th, 2011
11:32 am
4 Real – Did you watch Breaking Bad last night? Brutal!!!
Funny, when I hear the term DATE, I’ve alway thought just that, Dating. Going out and getting to know someone. Go out one time, that’s a date. Going out regularly, you are dating someone. Whether it involved getting physical or not, or what the two of you chose to do on the date is not included in the definition.
But I guess that’s just me.
abc
July 18th, 2011
11:37 am
I don’t think anyone would characterize me as being insecure. And, Steve Harvey is a fool in a clown suit. Anyone who takes his advice gets what they paid for.
If you want a man of high quality, then be what he’s looking for. That isn’t a serial dater. Likewise for men. You’ll attract what you are.
For Real
July 18th, 2011
11:38 am
Kimmie: I sure did. Dayum Jessie shot ole boy and the Chicken Man sliced his #2. Best show on tv hands down.
I agree the effects of a date or dating should not be included in the definition because it gives a false appearance that all one has to do in order to have sex is simply go out on a date. We know no two dates will be same nor will they generation the same results.
Celisea
July 18th, 2011
11:38 am
Steve Harvey is a fool in a clown suit. Anyone who takes his advice gets what they paid for.
You ain’t neva lied. I still say after 3 wives, you can’t tell me nothing. He’s soooo full of crap.
For Real
July 18th, 2011
11:39 am
“You’ll attract what you are.” – Well said!!!
Into the Light
July 18th, 2011
11:42 am
You’ll attract what you are.
Amen, and amen.
For Real
July 18th, 2011
11:42 am
“I still say after 3 wives, you can’t tell me nothing.” – Only a fool refuses to learn from mistakes.
bamabelle2000
July 18th, 2011
11:42 am
I don’t think it’s old fashion to give yourself an option that to me is why women get hurt all the time because we put our eggs in one basket rather then date other men. ABC I think if you think that every woman who dates more then one man (and I mean DATE not screw) is a ho, then you aren’t very secure about the type of man you are. If you know you have it going on, then why should you be worried if she wants to go out with someone else as well? Like I said, insecurity.
kimmie
July 18th, 2011
11:43 am
Hey, I just said I understood the premise of Harvey’s book. There are actually other books before his that came out with the same premise. It’s nothing new, folks have been trying to sing the same song for awhile, those that don’t want to take the traditional approaches to dating. I wish I could come up with a different way to say the same old thing that would sell. I probably wouldn’t have time to be on this blog for counting my millions!
Whatever path one choses to take is on them! Geesh!!
SMH!!!
Purple Rain
July 18th, 2011
11:43 am
I do not understand why people go to all of the people’s books for relationship advice instead of the “Good Book”
Bama, I understand what you are saying I honestly think you need to change your environment when it comes to men. Most men imo do not condone the player lifestyle. Boys condone it men don’t. abc, is just abc and he is consistently abc and you have to appreciate that because you know what you are getting.
bamabelle2000
July 18th, 2011
11:44 am
And i bet money right now, most of the people who think dating is equal to screwing are all under the age of 35.
abc
July 18th, 2011
11:44 am
The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
bamabelle2000
July 18th, 2011
11:49 am
Purple I don’t think it’s about changing environment, My thing is as a woman, why not just date and not commit yourself to one guy until you know for sure this is the man for you. As women, we don’t give ourselves a chance to see what’s out there and most men do.
Into the Light
July 18th, 2011
11:49 am
Soooooo, did y’all see the artice about the 10 most influential and powerful people in Atlanta?
bamabelle2000
July 18th, 2011
11:50 am
No ABC I think it’s just truth.
MzNewy
July 18th, 2011
11:51 am
To me, dating like a man means “everyone he hangs with/goes out with/has a social interaction with may know of him, but they don’t truly know him” To me, men are alot more careful with who they share their inner soul with. I think men establish relationships in stages and women may do well to learn to do the same. Everyone we put in our front row in life may not deserve to be there and we often learn this after we have given our hearts to them.
IMHO, women tend to share our souls in hopes that he will share his; without him having a proven track record. Men on the other hand, tend to make you prove you are worthy of holding their innermost secrets BEFORE they trust you with them. Everyone they date doesn’t get the key to their heart, but those that have the key, have proven they are more than just a social interaction.
Purple Rain
July 18th, 2011
11:52 am
bama, I can’t answer that question. Some women date with their heart first instead of their mind instead of leading with the mind to protect the heart. Some men do the same thing as well.
Celisea
July 18th, 2011
11:52 am
Only a fool refuses to learn from mistakes.
For Real – 20/20 ain’t specific to Steve Harvey. Writing in a book what you could have learn with wife number three is smart by whose measure? Like I said, after 3 wives you can’t tell me nothing. What experience are you selling that’s worthy of buying after 3 wives?? Write be me a book from the first wife and what you learn and how you got it right…in that experience..that’s saleable. You acted a fook and played the fool and too old to be a fool so you’re now writing? That’s ain’t wisdom. Only a fool will buy and buy into something you couldn’t get right until wife number three. Wisdom and “by way of repitition” ain’t the same.
bamabelle2000
July 18th, 2011
11:55 am
And Purple that’s the key.Most men aren’t lead by their hearts, they are lead by their heads. They don’t let their other emotions get involved until they feel like she is the one for them and I think that to me is basically the key to wanting to date like a man.
Purple Rain
July 18th, 2011
11:56 am
Mz Newy, that is the point I was trying to make in my first post. I think you hit the nail on the head and drove that sucker right on in!
Purple Rain
July 18th, 2011
11:58 am
Never trust a man who’s suit jacket is longer than his suit pants.
Purple Rain
July 18th, 2011
11:58 am
If you date a man that wears pastel colored suits that has a ton of buttons, expect to be pimped. LOL