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Falling in love?

Some people don’t handle falling in love well. It can be an exhilarating, wonderful experience. However, there are also times when it makes you, well.. stupid. Or perhaps just foolishly in love.

I call this the “caught up” stage because this is when you make dumb decisions, overlook red flags and basically toss out all rationale and logic as you fall head over heels.

My inner control freak wonders, is there a way to soften the blow when you fall in love? Is it possible to contain and manage your emotions so you won’t make choices you may regret later?

What do you when you feel yourself headed in the direction of “head over heels” or intense feelings for someone? Many guys have told me they ignore it…as long as they can. They sort of prolong the inevitable – a woman having power over them, or impacting their lives in a major way. Does that work? If it does, I will totally try it!

Ladies, what happens after you realize you are falling for someone?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

145 comments Add your comment

Kiesha Jean

July 14th, 2011
5:33 am

Pro-longing helps, I think … or just delays the inevitable act of being an idiot. I waited this past time around in the relationship, I saw all the red flags and then it happened anyways. love. For a couple of months fun, then the caught up wears off and all those red flags make life a living hell. Worse part about … I knew better all along. Even worse it will happen again cause I love Love … but I will exercise more caution and try and wait longer and run for the hills if red flags pop up immediately. (i hope.)

MzNewy

July 14th, 2011
8:01 am

I back off for a bit when I realize I am falling for someone. Then I try to examine the situation as if it were someone else dating him. You ever notice you can spot red flags when they don’t belong to the object of your affection. But anyway I try to make sure it’s not a “Don’t date him girl!” situation. In addition, I get a hobby etc.so I don’t spend so much time with him but this seems to prolong the inevitable. lol

There is no right or wrong way to fall in love, do what works for you. However, in order to truely love someone, you have to put YOURSELF in a vulnerable state and that is what is scary to me. I am a control freak, being vulnerable means losing control, losing control means FALLING in love.

Dan - Simply...Superior

July 14th, 2011
8:23 am

@Mcnewsy – what you do, but um, back off too far and the flame goes out (the roof left standing)

On topic:

The easiest way to not get “caught up” is to fall in “like” with a person. Looking back on my past attempts at relationships, I would always get to the point of “I don’t really like her.”

I mean I cared for a few, some were actual love, but few were ‘like’. Very few could I hang out with and not feel the need to censor myself, fewer still were ladies that would take what I said as it was intended and react accordingly (there are no words “between the line” just the space for your imagination to place isht in).

Yeah, that “ping” happened only when I could tell a female “I like you. I “like” like you, but I truly enjoy spending time with you.”

And for all the “I ain’t”, “(s)he better”, and “(s)he should” there are few people that can say: “if (s)he don’t, do I like him/her enough to move forward?”

Yeap, falling in love is easy, staying in “like” is a muthasucka.

SlimNu

July 14th, 2011
8:40 am

Good morning all,

Dan – Ever considered changing your moniker being that you’re near the nuptials? ;-)

Simple Man....

July 14th, 2011
8:44 am

Morning Slim1…. Hope you are feeling better today :)

Dan - Simply...Superior

July 14th, 2011
8:45 am

@Slim – Why?

I now have (or will have) verifable proof and a witness (Lebron)

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

July 14th, 2011
8:49 am

@Slim – I gotcha

<—

Took me a second

SlimNu

July 14th, 2011
8:49 am

Simple – Thanks for the well wishes but I think i’m back in business now…BAMS ;-)

Dan – I was only asking because of what you advised the acronym meant a few years back. Just didn’t seem to suit where you were now in your life, thats all. Either way, i’m happy for you.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

July 14th, 2011
8:56 am

@Slim

I haven’t had my coffee yet.

You been sick, I told you to stop “playing” in the rain

Into the Light

July 14th, 2011
9:01 am

Good morning, all.

Slim, I’m glad you’re feeling better. :)

I want to apologize to Better Led, and to y’all for getting on a rant yesterday. I was having a bad day, but that’s no excuse or reason to mess up the blog fun. Sorry, y’all.

SlimNu

July 14th, 2011
9:07 am

F-Dan – I think I had a small bout of food poisoning or something because I went to a steak restaurant earlier in the week and ended up with the BG’s, nausea etc after that for like 2 days. I’m about 5lbs lighter now so I think it ran its course lol

MsMarriedUp

July 14th, 2011
9:10 am

Emotion is hard for some to turn on and off, but my lesson learned was realizing it’s not wrong for someone to fall out of love with me… regardless of the reason.

A hard case to forget was when this one female fell hard for a guy who was all over her, while others was saying it wasn’t good…where sure enough ‘he lost it’ when ‘his love’ became too controlling and she wanted out. Was it wrong for her to want to back off? Was it wrong for his emotions to go to that level where he thought he owned her feelings?

Translated: it’s now easy to understand others may not feel about me, the way I feel about them, or vice-versa. In that way I don’t fall in love, HOWEVER, I do love deeply. When I care for a person I really care for them, without this need of having to control their feelings and enlist all these rules for how love should work. On the same other end, I expect that lead be given for me as well.

JusCallMeG

July 14th, 2011
9:16 am

When i realize I am falling in love I tend to get really scared and kind of back off. I have been in a few long-term relationships that have all ended badly so I find myself looking for certain “red flags” that i told myself to look out for, that may not even exist with the new person. People say not to bring baggage from your last relationship into a new one but that is way easier said than done in most cases. So I tend to back off these days and see how things play out and how their behavior changes.

Simple Man....

July 14th, 2011
9:17 am

Morning ITL…Mail call :)

MsMarriedUp

July 14th, 2011
9:25 am

…and another way to test love.
look at your parents, and siblings, and kids… I’ve not been upfront with them before, or outright lied and love them deeply. This doesn’t change just because the relationship is intimate.

Sometimes sex gets tied to love, when the two are two separate entities. You first have to know how to be a friend before you grow to love.

Into the Light

July 14th, 2011
9:27 am

Ms. Married Up, all I can say to your posts is “ditto” :)

SlimNu

July 14th, 2011
9:36 am

What do you when you feel yourself headed in the direction of “head over heels” or intense feelings for someone?

When I feel myself getting that way I try to keep it under wraps until I gain a better understanding of where the other person is. I would not want to drop my cards all willy nilly only to be left looking like a fool if they aren’t anywhere near the level i’m on. I don’t necessarily expect them to be shoulder to shoulder with me, because folks move to different rhythms but at least in the same direction.

With my current situation, I like to call it a slow simmer (as I’ve stated before) I think he was a bit guarded and scared to feel the way he was about me. I could understand that even though at first I wanted him to relax more than he was…I guess subconciously I wanted him to let more of his guard down, so I could relax mine. It takes a certain amount of energy & objectivity to try to keep a level head when all your endorphins are running wild and you’re living for the next high.

JusCallMeG

July 14th, 2011
9:39 am

I definitely agree that sex gets tied to love too easily and I think a physical relationship can get in the way of real feelings that you are developing towards someone in some cases

kimmie

July 14th, 2011
9:40 am

Morning all!

Dan, I really agree with you about the LIKE thing. That can sometimes be more elusive than loving someone. But it is extremely important for anything to go long-term, at least for me.

As I got older, I seemed to have stopped that “falling so hard for someone till I’m crazy” thing, where I lose ability to reason and can’t see the person clearly. In fact, I think I’ve only been like that once, with my first serious boyfriend. I don’t even think I’m capable of that craziness anymore. Not to say after that first time that I still didn’t make stupid choices & decisions concerning men, but I can’t give being crazy in love as an excuse.

The more mature love I’m in now allows me to really appreciate the “like” and the friendship I have with my husband, while still being able to see his faults and realize they were truly faults and not dealbreakers. I am able to be vulnerable and give up some of that control freely to him, assured he will not take advantage of that.

kimmie

July 14th, 2011
10:00 am

Where is everybody??

Purple Rain

July 14th, 2011
10:05 am

I think people who have had some bad relationship experiences are the ones who tend to fall to hard to soon once they actually start to get along with someone. They keep their guard up then once it’s down start fantasizing to soon, which causes some angst and to much pressure to soon. I think people should go into a relationship with “expectations” instead of “motives”. Motives can be felt and seen, that causes to much strife.

SexyCool

July 14th, 2011
10:07 am

kimmie – cosign on the 940a

kimmie

July 14th, 2011
10:09 am

Thanx SCool!

What’s shakin with you today?

SlimNu

July 14th, 2011
10:11 am

I’m here but I’m not old and crazy enough to start having conversations with myself just yet…

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
10:13 am

Goods morning!

I kinda agree with MsMarriedUp.

I luv some Me more than I luv anybody. And I luuuv my mom,dad,brothers and sisters like crazy!
And that’s why I have Never had my heart broken.

Now,a woman I digg and that has a desire to join this big fam and be a part of it is fine with me. She better think long term and be with Us in how we view our fam,the perpetuation of the family and tbs honored to be a part. She cannot take me away from Them even tho I maintain a separate household and family. Her mind gotta be on that tip.

And I will luv her for it! She becomes a part of the Whole!

Now if she comes in professing to luv me but intending to pull me away…..

She will lose and be heartbroken!

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

July 14th, 2011
10:14 am

“see his faults and realize they were not truly faults, and not dealbreakers” – Kimmie

Slow golf clap ma’am, slow golf clap

That right there was a mouthful.

I think these days (and I was/am guilty of it too) carry forward those “red flag” and affix them (and anything resembling them) to a person. We then “fill in the blanks with our shullbit”.

Learning to recognize: 1) that I, nor the person I see is perfect (<–hard); 2) that faults make them (and me) who we are; and 3) that I would have to deal with those faults for the long term (and they with mine)

and basing my decisions on those things made life a whole lot easier.

And "like" has a lot to do with it

SlimNu

July 14th, 2011
10:21 am

Dan – It definitely adds to the value of the relationship if the SO is stong in the areas that you are weak or faulted in.

Reio

July 14th, 2011
10:24 am

You can love anybody. We decide who we “fall in love” with. It doesn’t just happen. We control it. Always have. Always will.

SexyCool

July 14th, 2011
10:24 am

Still trying to come up with a simple plan. Elopement is looking better and better.

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

July 14th, 2011
10:25 am

PURPLE….I have been there. And after being kicked in the teeth enough, it hardened me. I have major trust issues. So now if a guy claims to be “interested” in me, I question his movitives! He did not approach me thinking, “she looks friendly” or “she looks like she be the future Mrs. XYZ”. Now, I often wonder what I give off to attrack the @$$holes that I do. I am not walking around in booty shorts and a tank top with no bra (well not in public anyway). So I wonder why some men can learn what it is to be a friend first before thinking of what a girl is like in bed. I swear, one day I am gonna wear a burka and see if a guy wants to know me for me and not my physical. :lol:
I have never been in love, though I have loved deeply. I have been in lust and in like. I think sometimes I confused infatuation for love. For instance, I had an ex that was physically all I could want. he was tall, muscular and FINE! An we both had similar personalities. But I said that I loved him, but I think it was pure infatuation. It does become difficult to tell them apart. Sometimes they are one in the same of the person. But what’s funny, any time I went outside of what I like phyically, it never got anywhere. I can love you as a person, but have zero physical attraction to you. So when people say try dating out of your comfort zone. I realize, you like what you like! You can’t mask that to yourself. So why waste either person’s time?

Purple Rain

July 14th, 2011
10:35 am

BMW, you just said a mouthful and shared a lot, you are human. I was the same way. I did not trust any woman. I thought they all wanted something from me and I was perfectly content being alone and doing what I wanted to do with no influence from a mate or having to be held accountable to anyone. I think the hurt I felt pushed me to that spot and then I found out that I loved it….but along the way something happened LOL. Once you find your mate, he will be lucky. There is nothing wrong with dating or going after what YOU like. I don’t believe in that date outside your comfortzone crap. Who want’s to date someone that is uncomfortable to your standards. I am super picky and I won’t compromise on my wants and likes. There are over 7 billion people in the world and I am supposed to believe that not one of them is exactly what I want?

SlimNu

July 14th, 2011
10:42 am

BMW – Are you dating anybody these days?

Into the Light

July 14th, 2011
10:43 am

SCool – Are you interested in indoor or outdoor venues?

SexyCool

July 14th, 2011
10:47 am

No preference.

Purple Rain

July 14th, 2011
10:47 am

Sexy Cool go to Vegas, it is for you and your spouse. Why waist money putting on a show for other people?

SexyCool

July 14th, 2011
10:51 am

There are certain family members and friends TheDude and I want to include. End of discussion.

MzNewy

July 14th, 2011
10:51 am

ahhhh yes I hear you all. That was the way I operated pre-HIM…now I am all in. Looking back, I guess with the other guys I “just wasn’t that into them” so it was easy to back off.

But I was afraid to fall in love before because I got burned. I think once we get burned it is harder to let down our guard.

SlimNu

July 14th, 2011
10:53 am

Speaking of wedding’s, Vegas etc…when I was at the pool party this past weekend, there was a couple there who actually went to Vegas and got married at a drive-thru chapel. They have been married for about 10 or 11 years and spoke as if they were happy as can be. They are planning an anniversary trip the end of this year. They said, it makes no sense to spend a whole lot of money for a wedding. So SexyCool, not sure how you feel about a drive-thru wedding but it sounds fun to me. You can get married and Super-size your fries all in one stop :lol:

MzNewy

July 14th, 2011
10:55 am

SC – we are doing a similiar Elopement :) it got too cumbersome and folks were getting their feelings hurt…because we wanted a small intimate wedding and everyone wanted to be “in” the wedding.

MzNewy

July 14th, 2011
10:56 am

@ Slim – Supersize the fries too huh LMAO that made my day

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
10:58 am

MzNewy?

Most of U females get burned coz u attach too much importance to ur kuchi and the moment a guy gives it a good flipping,uall gaga in ‘luv’…

That’s why most females get heartbroken…

I have never heard of a person(read woman) say they were heartbroken by a guy they never slept with.

Why is that?

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

July 14th, 2011
10:59 am

Boy let me tell you about super-sized weddings…

You have people finding out that you’re getting married an they want invites.

I’ve had to tell several people that I know well, but haven’t kicked it with in years “all this is outta my pocket, so if you wanna come, great; you wanna eat or drink – there’s a cover charge.”

That usually shuts those folk right.on.down.

It may not be the most tactful way to say it, but “hey, youknowmeshawty.”

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
11:03 am

Most of U females get burned coz u attach too much importance to ur kuchi and the moment a guy gives it a good flipping,uall gaga in ‘luv’…

Okay it shouldn’t have been but that was funny

kimmie

July 14th, 2011
11:03 am

SCool – One of my good friends did a “witnessed elopement” at Tybee Island back in April, on the beach. A few close friends & family. They had a reception-like party a few weeks before. Maybe you might like doing something simple like that.

We were going to have a reception this summer, but it is seeming less likely as time goes by. The other day he mentioned just having a get-together at the house. I don’t know. With the exception of my grandmother, pretty much everyone I loved came to my Vegas wedding at Caesars. I have some great pictures. I don’t really need anything else.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

July 14th, 2011
11:03 am

Funny and true…

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
11:04 am

yep, yeppers Dan

Into the Light

July 14th, 2011
11:08 am

SC – I don’t know what part of the metro (or if it matters) but there are some really cute B and Bs close to the Marietta Square that offer all-inclusive wedding packages. The Stanley House is one; nice historic home with a pretty courtyard. You can do the full deal (cake, caterer, photog, planner, etc) for 30 guests around $3500…..

Mike P

July 14th, 2011
11:09 am

Good Morning,

“I call this the “caught up” stage because this is when you make dumb decisions, overlook red flags and basically toss out all rationale and logic as you fall head over heels… My inner control freak wonders, is there a way to soften the blow when you fall in love? Is it possible to contain and manage your emotions so you won’t make choices you may regret later?” — WD

I believe that people are suppose to experience this and it shouldn’t be avoided or minimized. The purpose is to make two complete individuals from different backgrounds acceptable to each other.

kimmie

July 14th, 2011
11:10 am

Exiled – Women are just built, programmed differently from men. So???

That’s why I think when raising girls and talking to them about the birds and the bees, you need to talk to them about more than just getting pregnant and diseases. You have to talk to them about the emotional effects of getting physical. That’s where a lot of girls are left hanging and end up making bad decisions.

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
11:15 am

That’s why I think when raising girls and talking to them about the birds and the bees, you need to talk to them about more than just getting pregnant and diseases. You have to talk to them about the emotional effects of getting physical. That’s where a lot of girls are left hanging and end up making bad decisions.

Exactly….I totally agree with this statement. Teaching about the physical aspect is the easy part. Preparing them for the emotional aspect is the challenge.

Into the Light

July 14th, 2011
11:18 am

Totally agree with Kimmie’s and Celisea’s posts. I wish I had known then what I know now….

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

July 14th, 2011
11:19 am

SLIM…I have a few guys that are interested. But I am not too receptive. One happens to be a childhood friend that I had not seen since I was 10. And via FB and my cousin is a mutual friend, he found me. We speak and we have hung out. Then my cousin’s BF’s friend, I met him at a July 4th cookout at her house a few weeks ago. He is older (go figure) you know how I feel about older men. But he seems nice. But he lives 3 hours away. Which isn’t bad. I can drive of take Amtrak, (at his expense of course). So we shall see what happens.

EXILED…if there was no value to “koochie” then why the hell do men lie, cheat and steal to get it? So obviously it has a lot of value. If more women realized that and stopped sharing it with any fool with a Coke and a smile….a lot of drama can be saved. No, women do NOT fall in love with the sex. We can fall in LUST! We are emotional. So are emotions mixed with a man who lies and lies well and plays the game just to get @$$ (a friggin’ loser) ends up where the woman wants to share physical intimacy with a guy she believes feels the same for her. Why…because a grown @$$ man should not have to play games or lie for puddy. So we give the benefit of the doubt. As I stated yesterday, men that play these games helpm to create all the bitter and/or crazy women that they b*tch about! So why not just be honest! Granted, a woman of class will not go along with being a booty buddy! But there are plenty of tricks that will happily oblige! So 2 of kind will work just fine!

SCOOL….girl may I suggest you do a destination wedding. Plenty of Caribbean resorts offer. You can get a group rate for all those that you and the dude want to be present on your special day. It’s a wedding and honeymoon in one!

SlimNu

July 14th, 2011
11:21 am

kimmie – and piggybacking on your 11:10, we can’t leave the boys out. They too need to know the emotional ramifications of sexing…and how girls are more emotionally attached once the wang has entered the puddy. That way, when a chick (immature) becomes overly jealous, possessive etc, they’ll know where it stems from. Guys should have some value & standards for where they put their wangs just like girls should when it comes to who they let inside them.

kimmie

July 14th, 2011
11:27 am

Slim – Amen and thank you!! I agree! We gotta do a better job with the girls AND the boys! It starts at home.

Mike P

July 14th, 2011
11:29 am

@Exiled!:

Maybe you don’t have many women in your life who are “just friends.” I have unintentionally broken many a woman’s hearts all of whom I have never slept with nor desire to sleep with because I simply wasn’t sexually attracted to them, so I never let them enjoy my disco stick lol. Ironically, that makes me more desirable to them. I find it way easier to be real friends with women I am not attracted to so I don’t pursue them sexually… unfortunately my naturally charming and exciting personality is a recipe for heartbreak disaster for some. I had to cut many off from my life because they couldn’t take no for an answer and it was causing lots or drama i didn’t want especially when I made plans to be with some special. Now I’m more careful about who I let into my little social circle.

kimmie

July 14th, 2011
11:32 am

If we all just went around banging each other, with no feelings or emotion whatsoever, what separates us from the animals? There is nothing wrong with emotions and feelings when directed properly.

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
11:36 am

Mike P?

and all those chick ‘friend’s’ whose hearts u have ‘broken’ know u have a girlfriend?

and they still want U!?

@Kimmie

I hear u…

Purple Rain

July 14th, 2011
11:39 am

LOL, I spent money on a big wedding the first time that did not happen. The second one was short and sweet, we spent money on the reception when we got back home

Mike P

July 14th, 2011
11:47 am

@Exiled!:
No, they make their plays when I’m in between dating. They’ll make plans, invite me to what they’re doing (they’ll just assume I’ll bite and play along this time, but get mad when I decline their offer once more), or they attempt to invite/include themselves in what I’m doing. But it’s when I meet someone new or when I making dating plans to be with someone (not of my woman friends) is when all the female drama becomes unbearable to me. And wouldn’t you know it, that’s when when they’ll blast my phone, need me the most, or some other lame azz attempt to gain my attention.

Into the Light

July 14th, 2011
11:53 am

Or maybe it’s a game/challenge. Sometimes what seems unattainable is most attractive – at least for awhile. IJS…

Mike P

July 14th, 2011
12:01 pm

How can it be a game or challenge if I don’t put my “hat in the ring” to pursue them. I don’t do any of the things the men do to show romantic interests, I haven’t shown any sexual interest, I don’t asked these women out, I don’t offer to pay while socializing (in group form), I don’t do anything special or out of the ordinary to entice or flirt with them. and I especially don’t be out with them alone. I simply do ordinary friend things like group parties, gathering, and such. go figure!

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
12:06 pm

Mike P?

U are playing! What u describe is not hearts being broken. It’s thirsty women doing what some women do when they want a man that bad. Nothing about a broken or spurned heart.

The broken hearts bizz is Big business. It’s Huge! It’s an industry with books written and famous people profiled.

….do u see how BMW’s posts are always so long? :lol: that’s what happens when u have ‘wronged’ a woman!

If u are being honest,try dating any one of these women that like u,give her dome reaaaL ghuuuuuud

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
12:08 pm

Cont’d….
guud luving the bench her and see what happens…

That will be a broken heart testament for U!

abc

July 14th, 2011
12:09 pm

You can’t choose who you fall in love with, falling in love is a chemical reaction, yall. Nobody knows exactly what triggers the dopamine release. It’s something to do with complimentary chemical balance that would produce optimal offspring. It’s the dopamine release that causes the insanity, and that’s exactly what it is, insanity. May I always be so insane.

Into the Light

July 14th, 2011
12:09 pm

Not saying that’s the case, MikeP…I was just offering one possible explanation….

Purple Rain

July 14th, 2011
12:09 pm

Mike P, when you don’t pay attention to them they want you more.

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
12:09 pm

Then bench her

Into the Light

July 14th, 2011
12:13 pm

That’s cold, Ex….

Into the Light

July 14th, 2011
12:14 pm

Hey Cel….you out there?

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
12:16 pm

ITL?

I feel her posts..I’m just saying…

He’s talking about kids play not broken hearts…

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
12:19 pm

What’s up ITL?

CAUGHT UP IN IT

July 14th, 2011
12:23 pm

@abc….I totally agree…except for the “may I always be so insane”.

Mike P

July 14th, 2011
12:24 pm

Her posts reads like someone who, for whatever reason, haven’t let go of the past of what one person may have did; which by the way is not all that uncommon.
People, men and women can be heartbroken without all the venomous, misdirected hate and bitterness I see and hear both men and women talk about.

I have experience with women who I declined their sexual advances; some got angry but cooled
I have experience with women who I declined their “romantic emotional overtures”; these are the ones who act like I’ve done something wrong to them, these are the ones who one cant no for an answer, these are the ones who causes all kinds of drama, spreading false rumors and what not, real juvenile behavior… and when the truth comes out, its always she was in love with me.

Trust me meeelloo its a big difference in what kinda isht I gotta deal with in these two types.

Mike P

July 14th, 2011
12:33 pm

Purple Rain:

So you think I should ignore the ones I really like lol?
But really how do I play that angel but still pursue with intent?

MzNewy

July 14th, 2011
12:36 pm

@ Mike…
I know the “can’t let go” haunting…recognize it too…until she let’s go, she will always swing from that rope and never move on…that’s how we wind up with so many “cat ladies” in this world. They take that one spurned relationship, never let go of it and stay in limbo for the rest of their lives.

We all should have a mourning period for a relationship gone south, but it shouldn’t last years and years and you shouldn’t keep reliving it with every relationship thereafter.

Into the Light

July 14th, 2011
12:37 pm

Just wanted to say thanks for yesterday. :) The conversation caused me to do some long overdue thinking…..

Mike P

July 14th, 2011
12:44 pm

MzNewy;
The sad thing is a lot of people don’t realize that true happiness comes from within… And they allow other people to dictate they worth, value, and happiness.

You’ll be surprised how many women gave me their emotional baggage from other dudes, and on the first date… making my vetting process all the more easier.

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
12:48 pm

ITL – Sure. I need it EVERYDAY. Nowhere near perfect myself :)

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
12:50 pm

I hear u Mike P..

I just don’t get this feeling that some get,that because we f-ccked,it means I signed some long-term contract with u..

Purple Rain

July 14th, 2011
1:05 pm

Mike P, it’s hit or miss with that approach.

I don’t condone random sex at any point.

Celisea, yes I need it every day too, but evangelism or missionary work is not my gift except within my family or if the spirit leads me to share in a certain situation.

MzNewy

July 14th, 2011
1:08 pm

There is nothing cute about a “bag lady”. I think until folks get themselves together emotionally and be happy with his/her own company they will be like a hamster on a wheel….running fast but going no where.

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
1:12 pm

Hey there PR

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
1:15 pm

I was so heartbroken by the kid was murdered in NY I believe. He was eight years old and wanted to feel all grownup so he convinced his parents to let him “walk” home. They were suppose to meet him after he was to take seven blocks…they rehearsed. Wouldn’t you know he took a wrong turn and asked for help, some beast for a man took him and killed him. So saddened by that. Just dang.

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
1:21 pm

I shed a tear for that 9 year old boy Celisea when I heard the story on GMA this morning.

I can relate coz I luv my 6 year old son dearly!

kimmie

July 14th, 2011
1:24 pm

Somebody just sounds like they hate women, or at least don’t care for them much.

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
1:25 pm

Exactly MMEELLOO…innocent lives just snuffed out

kimmie

July 14th, 2011
1:25 pm

That broke my heart too, Celisea and Exiled.

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
1:26 pm

or projecting way too much than what’s REALLY going on..lol

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
1:26 pm

Ut oh, did I type that? LOL

Kimmie – so so sad

Purple Rain

July 14th, 2011
1:31 pm

Exiled, you have a child?

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
1:31 pm

Looks like it might be a 3-pager today

cba

July 14th, 2011
1:31 pm

He didn’t just kill the little boy, some of his body parts were in the frig. Now that’s Satan at his worst. There’s a similar case in Macon where a recent law school graduate body parts were found near her apartment. I think they only found her torso. Her neighbor / classmate is currently in jail.

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
1:33 pm

PR?

Yea,my shots got venom!

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
1:35 pm

cba – What got me was how quickly he did it…gheesh

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
1:37 pm

and he’s 35 year old loser,living with parents..

go figure!

SlimNu

July 14th, 2011
1:38 pm

I’m sooooo ready to sneak in a snooze at my desk. We need something to shake this thang up.

Slim exposes her CT in hopes to get a rise out of those that are present

Purple Rain

July 14th, 2011
1:38 pm

Watch your kids. Devils advocate…. why was an 8 year old walking at least 7 city blocks by himself?

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
1:42 pm

PR – I wouldn’t have done…no way no how. Against probably his parent’s better judgement, he wanted to feel grownup and big boyish and wanted to walk from camp. They’d plan to meet him. As well as his parents intentions probably were, they were quite naive. Too many kooks and nuts. You cannot afford to take your eyes off your little ones in this day and age.

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
1:44 pm

There’s a chick here that’s been talking about Sade’s concert since the day before and every since. She’s a REAL fan..lol

kimmie

July 14th, 2011
1:45 pm

Somebody can grab your kids in a split second. I watch mine like a hawk when we are out. I know they think I’m crazy, but so be it. Someone can grab them and you won’t hear a thing!

MzNewy

July 14th, 2011
1:49 pm

When mine were little I would watch them like a hawk. Now I my “baby” is a 6′2″ giant. I still make him call me when he gets to his destination etc. because people are stone cold nuts out here

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
1:50 pm

The biggest scare I’ve ever had was when we took my kid to Dave and Buster’s for her birthday…of course her dad’s request, she was turning six. Not exactly my choice but hey I was keeping the peace. Well, I walk away and she’s with him and I come back and ask where she was and he was like, um over there. OVER WHERE?!?! Because looking “over there” I didn’t see here. Talk about panick and fear. I was running through that place like a mad person. I found here playing a game but how about we packed it up at that point. I was sooo through with him. If you ask him today, he would probably still say I overreacted. Nuh uh, somebody can grab a child in a couple of seconds. I spent the next few years keeping her clutched closed by.

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
1:52 pm

although I do understand why parents would do that…these kids want to things by themselves….Like to show that they’re grown up…my son will say,’no Daddy,I wanna do it by myself’,and he’s only 6!

So for a nine year old,he may have been pressing his parents a lil too hard.

This parenting business,u learn from the mistakes of others really.

Sad!

kimmie

July 14th, 2011
1:55 pm

Celisea – Growing up, the lady next door told us about how someone grabbed her baby boy out of the stroller! She was at Riches looking at something at the jewelry counter. The stroller was right by her side but facing the other way. She looked down and baby was gone! She went to screaming!! Security blocked all the exits out of the store. Sure enough, they caught this old lady hunched over with the baby in her arms, about to walk out of the store with him!! :(

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

July 14th, 2011
1:56 pm

Yeah, I routinely have to tell mine, if I can’t see you and you can’t see me – you’ve gone too far.

All that running off jazz will have everybody going home just as soon as I find him.

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
2:03 pm

Kimmie – OMG say it ain’t so…gheesh

Dan – Yeah, I routinely have to tell mine, if I can’t see you and you can’t see me – you’ve gone too far.

Yes yes, when my kid turned say 11/12 that was my motto. Say within eyesight. Sorry 11/12 can get snatched too. I didn’t realize you had kids.

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
2:04 pm

I wonder how Raqi’s little one is coming along

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
2:07 pm

@Celisea?

u going to have another one?

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
2:12 pm

Exiled – Bit your tongue…lol Never say never..they say He’s gotta be one helluva man though to get me to push out another. Right now the plan is NO

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
2:12 pm

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
2:15 pm

good answer Celisea! Lol

coz u know,’it’s a man’s world’

when the ‘Right’ one comes along, Celisea will be as chilled as ice cold beverage.

Happy,Calm,Contend,and Filled Up!

SlimNu

July 14th, 2011
2:18 pm

My little 2 year old niece ran out of the house after my mom & stepdad left w/o my sisters knowledge. My sister was calling for her and looking for her everywhere thinking she was hiding, and something told her to check outside. When she saw that my niece had opened the front door to run behind my mom, she tore her little butt up. It totally freaked her out. I don’t know if i have that kind of patience for a kid because my fear would make me want to probably kill my child to keep them from being hurt by someone else lol

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
2:18 pm

MMEELLOO – I’m not even going to refute your 2:15….Imma let you have it.

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

July 14th, 2011
2:22 pm

EXILED…WHATEVER man! :roll:

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
2:27 pm

I lubssss U BMW…

u got so much intensity and passion….

U believe in polygamy right? :lol:

I will send my emissaries to NYC right away!

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
2:51 pm

Hey Slim..?

this blog is too damn slow..do u still have a lil bit in ur azz?

maybe,just maybe u can conjure up one darn smelly fart to rile up these people..and get some blog Reaction and traffic!

Slim Go :arrow:

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

July 14th, 2011
2:57 pm

EXILED…you know am 1,000% again polygamy! :lol: I do not believe in sharing a man with NOBODY! If I am not enough for a man, he can kiss my entire @$$! I refuse to be some man’s flunky concubine or treated like I’m less that livestock!

SlimNu

July 14th, 2011
3:01 pm

Exiled – I tried to get yall riled up but it didn’t work. Today is moving at a snails pace and it’s WACK, WACK, WACK. How about you show us your mandingo stick :lol:

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
3:06 pm

Sharing ur man with another worthy phine lady(another wife) is better than sharing ur man with a skank ho or biaatch or worse,with another man(read Some Atlanta men) or boys.(EL)

Coz ALL men cheat but polygamists Don’t coz ALL their women are regular!

and from a purely practical point of view,the statistics don’t favor u coz there are wasaaaay too many of u worthy ladies competing for a tiny popn of worthy men like myself.

Do the math BMW!

Purple Rain

July 14th, 2011
3:07 pm

I don’t have any jokes to share.

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
3:10 pm

I wld luv to be like Oprah:

u got a man

U got a man

U got a man
U got a man

U got a man

it ain’t happening like that,Sorry! :lol:

SlimNu

July 14th, 2011
3:11 pm

Dear face wash commercials:

No one smiles while washing their face.

Sincerely,

Soapy Mouth

SlimNu

July 14th, 2011
3:12 pm

It’s bug season….of course I bug people in every season. Go figure!

I keep hitting escape on my keyboard but i’m still here :-(

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

July 14th, 2011
3:15 pm

EXILED…sharing is sharing and either way it’s nasty! I don’t do sloppy seconds, unless tha b@stard cheats and I don’t know. but I have my ways of finding out. And when I have found out…well let’s just say it did not end pretty! I can be your dream or your nightmare! So if a guy plans on having more than one woman, he might as well kick rocks! I will NOT stand for it. I’m sure no dude would stand for me as his girl or wife sharings my goods with someone else. And please don’t come with the double standard crap. Men CHOOSE to cheat. There is no dark force that makes them do it. They do it because they are greedy animals who try to place blame on anything to justify being nasty! I’d rather die alone than to devalue myself by dealing with a cheater. That is a dealbreaker. i will NOT forgive you. So it’s best that a guy remove himself from my life before I do!

Purple Rain

July 14th, 2011
3:15 pm

Slim do my jokes read as lame as yours? LOL

Purple Rain

July 14th, 2011
3:17 pm

Exiled, all men don’t cheat.

BMW, what’s your excuse for screwing my brains out 3 to 4 times a week then, those rules don’t apply to me?

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
3:22 pm

I wld luv to be like Oprah:

u got a man

U got a man

U got a man
U got a man

U got a man

Why oh why did I come back to the blog to hit refresh while on a call only to see MMEELLOO’s post….OMG I almost burst out laughing. Please stop the madness…lol

SexyCool

July 14th, 2011
3:28 pm

But…if anybody could do that…Oprah could. (lol)

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
3:29 pm

Alll men don’t cheat!

PR?

that’s a nice thing to say to ur wife! :lol:

BMW!

u are still on the search but when u find one,invite me over so I can see him.

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
3:38 pm

And now that Oprah is done, I’m loving all those re-run last season shows that air at 2(am)ish where she’s just plain ole frank as well as the interviewee. Getting out all that unsaid stuff and wrapping loose ends. I like her probably more now than ever. No more fluff, no need to make a name as that’s established and nothing to lose :)

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
3:38 pm

last season as in “the last season” not last season as in last year

SlimNu

July 14th, 2011
3:41 pm

If each day is like a gift, I’d like to know where to return Monday.

When I can’t sleep I drink hot cocoa, or wine if i’m out of cocoa. I’m out of cocoa a lot.

I had a hard time getting enough hors d’oeuvres for my dinner party last night. The woman handing out the samples at the grocery store was tougher than she looked.

When I called it a “Girls night out”, what I meant was that I was not going to wear a bra.

I try to get a full serving of fruits and veggies every day….a bloody mary and a strawberry daiquiri usually do the trick.

Every notice how people who tell you to calm down are the ones that got you mad in the first place.

Purple Rain

July 14th, 2011
3:43 pm

Celisea, what are you doing up at 2am?

SLim, the girls one was funny

SlimNu

July 14th, 2011
3:56 pm

Purp – They are all pretty lame but I never claimed to be a certified comedian…certified crazy maybe but thats all I got lol

I’m craving some good ole steamy crab legs, shrimp and corn on the cobb. Mmmm

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
4:01 pm

that’s some real nasty Kntry good Slim,u from Alabama?

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
4:02 pm

SlimNu

July 14th, 2011
4:03 pm

Exiled – I shole iz from Bama but whet dat gotta do wit enytang?

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
4:07 pm

PR – I guess you think I live under a rock huh?

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

July 14th, 2011
4:11 pm

PURPLE…shhhh! You keep blowing our cover! :lol:

EXILED…I am not searching for any one.

“Every notice how people who tell you to calm down are the ones that got you mad in the first place.

HELLZ yeah! Makes you want to punch them in the throat! :lol:

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
4:12 pm

Slim?

I wonder what the fuss is bout CRCT scores in Atlanta,,what they got say bout BAMA??

shole must be worster than GA? and Mississipi is proly worstest… :lol:

but this Superintentend(frmer), Beverley Hall lady shole is Blind,Blind, Blind!,Right?

Or a Crook?

SlimNu

July 14th, 2011
4:22 pm

Exiled – I was listening to the radio this morning and I think I heard she was over in Hawaii celebrating her birthday or something but still states she knew nothing about the cheating…

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
4:28 pm

Slim?

for the duration that she was in Atlanta,they have messed up a whole lotta kids,including some in colleges now!

I was reading a blog about kids outa Stlanta struggling with English and Math,taking remedial classes in college.

She ran a scam for financial gain to teachers etc!
No way u can be blind to that widespread cheating unless u blind,or just plain incompetent!

The improvements were too steep for her not to ask a simple question:

What are u guys doing that’s different from previously?

then observe it in action by visiting the school classrooms.

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
4:34 pm

I hear all this hoopla surrounding cheating. The real crux is that those kids are failing and falling behind so many other counties, states and countries. Now they would allow those kids to score with no assitance a VERY small percentage will pass, leaving the vast majority to fail. I see the real problem is that we’ve abandoned teaching…teach for real. Good teachers, inspiring and innovative. Too, where are the parents? Right..crickets right here. So, IMO the principals and teachers resulted to panick. Get those kids pushed through the best way they could. While it’s wrong to cheat, that ain’t the crux of the problem. The question should be asked, why so much and why so widespread and then throw the covers back to see what’s REALLY going on. I had to dang near teach my own kid all the way through and up this far. Think about alllll those kids who don’t have the luxury of a parent that cares enough to stay with it all the way through. I had to take her back to the very basics in just about every subject. I had to buy work books from the school box and work through summers and what not. The quality of teaching is nonexistance within APS.

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
4:35 pm

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
4:41 pm

I gather so many of them come outa poor single parent homes

It’s a double whammy I tell you…

Stealing from poor folks tho is sad!(what these educators have done)