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Falling in love?

Some people don’t handle falling in love well. It can be an exhilarating, wonderful experience. However, there are also times when it makes you, well.. stupid. Or perhaps just foolishly in love.

I call this the “caught up” stage because this is when you make dumb decisions, overlook red flags and basically toss out all rationale and logic as you fall head over heels.

My inner control freak wonders, is there a way to soften the blow when you fall in love? Is it possible to contain and manage your emotions so you won’t make choices you may regret later?

What do you when you feel yourself headed in the direction of “head over heels” or intense feelings for someone? Many guys have told me they ignore it…as long as they can. They sort of prolong the inevitable – a woman having power over them, or impacting their lives in a major way. Does that work? If it does, I will totally try it!

Ladies, what happens after you realize you are falling for someone?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

145 comments Add your comment

Into the Light

July 14th, 2011
11:18 am

Totally agree with Kimmie’s and Celisea’s posts. I wish I had known then what I know now….

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

July 14th, 2011
11:19 am

SLIM…I have a few guys that are interested. But I am not too receptive. One happens to be a childhood friend that I had not seen since I was 10. And via FB and my cousin is a mutual friend, he found me. We speak and we have hung out. Then my cousin’s BF’s friend, I met him at a July 4th cookout at her house a few weeks ago. He is older (go figure) you know how I feel about older men. But he seems nice. But he lives 3 hours away. Which isn’t bad. I can drive of take Amtrak, (at his expense of course). So we shall see what happens.

EXILED…if there was no value to “koochie” then why the hell do men lie, cheat and steal to get it? So obviously it has a lot of value. If more women realized that and stopped sharing it with any fool with a Coke and a smile….a lot of drama can be saved. No, women do NOT fall in love with the sex. We can fall in LUST! We are emotional. So are emotions mixed with a man who lies and lies well and plays the game just to get @$$ (a friggin’ loser) ends up where the woman wants to share physical intimacy with a guy she believes feels the same for her. Why…because a grown @$$ man should not have to play games or lie for puddy. So we give the benefit of the doubt. As I stated yesterday, men that play these games helpm to create all the bitter and/or crazy women that they b*tch about! So why not just be honest! Granted, a woman of class will not go along with being a booty buddy! But there are plenty of tricks that will happily oblige! So 2 of kind will work just fine!

SCOOL….girl may I suggest you do a destination wedding. Plenty of Caribbean resorts offer. You can get a group rate for all those that you and the dude want to be present on your special day. It’s a wedding and honeymoon in one!

SlimNu

July 14th, 2011
11:21 am

kimmie – and piggybacking on your 11:10, we can’t leave the boys out. They too need to know the emotional ramifications of sexing…and how girls are more emotionally attached once the wang has entered the puddy. That way, when a chick (immature) becomes overly jealous, possessive etc, they’ll know where it stems from. Guys should have some value & standards for where they put their wangs just like girls should when it comes to who they let inside them.

kimmie

July 14th, 2011
11:27 am

Slim – Amen and thank you!! I agree! We gotta do a better job with the girls AND the boys! It starts at home.

Mike P

July 14th, 2011
11:29 am

@Exiled!:

Maybe you don’t have many women in your life who are “just friends.” I have unintentionally broken many a woman’s hearts all of whom I have never slept with nor desire to sleep with because I simply wasn’t sexually attracted to them, so I never let them enjoy my disco stick lol. Ironically, that makes me more desirable to them. I find it way easier to be real friends with women I am not attracted to so I don’t pursue them sexually… unfortunately my naturally charming and exciting personality is a recipe for heartbreak disaster for some. I had to cut many off from my life because they couldn’t take no for an answer and it was causing lots or drama i didn’t want especially when I made plans to be with some special. Now I’m more careful about who I let into my little social circle.

kimmie

July 14th, 2011
11:32 am

If we all just went around banging each other, with no feelings or emotion whatsoever, what separates us from the animals? There is nothing wrong with emotions and feelings when directed properly.

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
11:36 am

Mike P?

and all those chick ‘friend’s’ whose hearts u have ‘broken’ know u have a girlfriend?

and they still want U!?

@Kimmie

I hear u…

Purple Rain

July 14th, 2011
11:39 am

LOL, I spent money on a big wedding the first time that did not happen. The second one was short and sweet, we spent money on the reception when we got back home

Mike P

July 14th, 2011
11:47 am

@Exiled!:
No, they make their plays when I’m in between dating. They’ll make plans, invite me to what they’re doing (they’ll just assume I’ll bite and play along this time, but get mad when I decline their offer once more), or they attempt to invite/include themselves in what I’m doing. But it’s when I meet someone new or when I making dating plans to be with someone (not of my woman friends) is when all the female drama becomes unbearable to me. And wouldn’t you know it, that’s when when they’ll blast my phone, need me the most, or some other lame azz attempt to gain my attention.

Into the Light

July 14th, 2011
11:53 am

Or maybe it’s a game/challenge. Sometimes what seems unattainable is most attractive – at least for awhile. IJS…

Mike P

July 14th, 2011
12:01 pm

How can it be a game or challenge if I don’t put my “hat in the ring” to pursue them. I don’t do any of the things the men do to show romantic interests, I haven’t shown any sexual interest, I don’t asked these women out, I don’t offer to pay while socializing (in group form), I don’t do anything special or out of the ordinary to entice or flirt with them. and I especially don’t be out with them alone. I simply do ordinary friend things like group parties, gathering, and such. go figure!

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
12:06 pm

Mike P?

U are playing! What u describe is not hearts being broken. It’s thirsty women doing what some women do when they want a man that bad. Nothing about a broken or spurned heart.

The broken hearts bizz is Big business. It’s Huge! It’s an industry with books written and famous people profiled.

….do u see how BMW’s posts are always so long? :lol: that’s what happens when u have ‘wronged’ a woman!

If u are being honest,try dating any one of these women that like u,give her dome reaaaL ghuuuuuud

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
12:08 pm

Cont’d….
guud luving the bench her and see what happens…

That will be a broken heart testament for U!

abc

July 14th, 2011
12:09 pm

You can’t choose who you fall in love with, falling in love is a chemical reaction, yall. Nobody knows exactly what triggers the dopamine release. It’s something to do with complimentary chemical balance that would produce optimal offspring. It’s the dopamine release that causes the insanity, and that’s exactly what it is, insanity. May I always be so insane.

Into the Light

July 14th, 2011
12:09 pm

Not saying that’s the case, MikeP…I was just offering one possible explanation….

Purple Rain

July 14th, 2011
12:09 pm

Mike P, when you don’t pay attention to them they want you more.

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
12:09 pm

Then bench her

Into the Light

July 14th, 2011
12:13 pm

That’s cold, Ex….

Into the Light

July 14th, 2011
12:14 pm

Hey Cel….you out there?

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
12:16 pm

ITL?

I feel her posts..I’m just saying…

He’s talking about kids play not broken hearts…

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
12:19 pm

What’s up ITL?

CAUGHT UP IN IT

July 14th, 2011
12:23 pm

@abc….I totally agree…except for the “may I always be so insane”.

Mike P

July 14th, 2011
12:24 pm

Her posts reads like someone who, for whatever reason, haven’t let go of the past of what one person may have did; which by the way is not all that uncommon.
People, men and women can be heartbroken without all the venomous, misdirected hate and bitterness I see and hear both men and women talk about.

I have experience with women who I declined their sexual advances; some got angry but cooled
I have experience with women who I declined their “romantic emotional overtures”; these are the ones who act like I’ve done something wrong to them, these are the ones who one cant no for an answer, these are the ones who causes all kinds of drama, spreading false rumors and what not, real juvenile behavior… and when the truth comes out, its always she was in love with me.

Trust me meeelloo its a big difference in what kinda isht I gotta deal with in these two types.

Mike P

July 14th, 2011
12:33 pm

Purple Rain:

So you think I should ignore the ones I really like lol?
But really how do I play that angel but still pursue with intent?

MzNewy

July 14th, 2011
12:36 pm

@ Mike…
I know the “can’t let go” haunting…recognize it too…until she let’s go, she will always swing from that rope and never move on…that’s how we wind up with so many “cat ladies” in this world. They take that one spurned relationship, never let go of it and stay in limbo for the rest of their lives.

We all should have a mourning period for a relationship gone south, but it shouldn’t last years and years and you shouldn’t keep reliving it with every relationship thereafter.

Into the Light

July 14th, 2011
12:37 pm

Just wanted to say thanks for yesterday. :) The conversation caused me to do some long overdue thinking…..

Mike P

July 14th, 2011
12:44 pm

MzNewy;
The sad thing is a lot of people don’t realize that true happiness comes from within… And they allow other people to dictate they worth, value, and happiness.

You’ll be surprised how many women gave me their emotional baggage from other dudes, and on the first date… making my vetting process all the more easier.

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
12:48 pm

ITL – Sure. I need it EVERYDAY. Nowhere near perfect myself :)

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
12:50 pm

I hear u Mike P..

I just don’t get this feeling that some get,that because we f-ccked,it means I signed some long-term contract with u..

Purple Rain

July 14th, 2011
1:05 pm

Mike P, it’s hit or miss with that approach.

I don’t condone random sex at any point.

Celisea, yes I need it every day too, but evangelism or missionary work is not my gift except within my family or if the spirit leads me to share in a certain situation.

MzNewy

July 14th, 2011
1:08 pm

There is nothing cute about a “bag lady”. I think until folks get themselves together emotionally and be happy with his/her own company they will be like a hamster on a wheel….running fast but going no where.

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
1:12 pm

Hey there PR

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
1:15 pm

I was so heartbroken by the kid was murdered in NY I believe. He was eight years old and wanted to feel all grownup so he convinced his parents to let him “walk” home. They were suppose to meet him after he was to take seven blocks…they rehearsed. Wouldn’t you know he took a wrong turn and asked for help, some beast for a man took him and killed him. So saddened by that. Just dang.

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
1:21 pm

I shed a tear for that 9 year old boy Celisea when I heard the story on GMA this morning.

I can relate coz I luv my 6 year old son dearly!

kimmie

July 14th, 2011
1:24 pm

Somebody just sounds like they hate women, or at least don’t care for them much.

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
1:25 pm

Exactly MMEELLOO…innocent lives just snuffed out

kimmie

July 14th, 2011
1:25 pm

That broke my heart too, Celisea and Exiled.

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
1:26 pm

or projecting way too much than what’s REALLY going on..lol

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
1:26 pm

Ut oh, did I type that? LOL

Kimmie – so so sad

Purple Rain

July 14th, 2011
1:31 pm

Exiled, you have a child?

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
1:31 pm

Looks like it might be a 3-pager today

cba

July 14th, 2011
1:31 pm

He didn’t just kill the little boy, some of his body parts were in the frig. Now that’s Satan at his worst. There’s a similar case in Macon where a recent law school graduate body parts were found near her apartment. I think they only found her torso. Her neighbor / classmate is currently in jail.

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
1:33 pm

PR?

Yea,my shots got venom!

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
1:35 pm

cba – What got me was how quickly he did it…gheesh

Exiled!

July 14th, 2011
1:37 pm

and he’s 35 year old loser,living with parents..

go figure!

SlimNu

July 14th, 2011
1:38 pm

I’m sooooo ready to sneak in a snooze at my desk. We need something to shake this thang up.

Slim exposes her CT in hopes to get a rise out of those that are present

Purple Rain

July 14th, 2011
1:38 pm

Watch your kids. Devils advocate…. why was an 8 year old walking at least 7 city blocks by himself?

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
1:42 pm

PR – I wouldn’t have done…no way no how. Against probably his parent’s better judgement, he wanted to feel grownup and big boyish and wanted to walk from camp. They’d plan to meet him. As well as his parents intentions probably were, they were quite naive. Too many kooks and nuts. You cannot afford to take your eyes off your little ones in this day and age.

Celisea

July 14th, 2011
1:44 pm

There’s a chick here that’s been talking about Sade’s concert since the day before and every since. She’s a REAL fan..lol

kimmie

July 14th, 2011
1:45 pm

Somebody can grab your kids in a split second. I watch mine like a hawk when we are out. I know they think I’m crazy, but so be it. Someone can grab them and you won’t hear a thing!