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Telltale signs of a booty call

There may come a time when you have to ask the tough question: Am I just a booty call? It would seem that this would be an easy thing to figure out, but alas..dating is not always easy.  Sometimes you have mixed signals, double talk, sweet talk, lip service (not the good kind), and plain old jedi mind tricks.

So what are the signs that let you know you are just there for entertainment?  Few people come out and say, “Hey you are just something to do until somebody else comes along” but their actions somewhat support that statement.

Guys do you know (or care?) when you are being considered only as the maintenance man?  Would you prefer to be told that it’s never going anywhere, so just enjoy the ride while it lasts?

What are the top telltale signs…you’re just a booty call?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

342 comments Add your comment

Simple Man....

July 13th, 2011
9:55 am

Blackfoote, You are cool with me and all, but I have to disagree with your 9:40. Mature wommen know the deal and are just as willing to have interactions based soley on teh physical…The difference is that mature women are better and keeping their business out of street and they usually reserve that role for a one guy and do not allow that to be the case with multiple dudes. Women in our age group tend to have full lives most don’t need a full time man for anything. Now most WANT to be involved in meaningful relatinships, but they are not scared to get that oil changed when they decide its time…

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

July 13th, 2011
9:56 am

There are two different scenarios here so I might as well pizz off everyone again. There is the mutually accepted booty call, the friends with benefits type…and there is one where one thinks/wants a deeper relationship and the other just wants to hit it when the urge emerges. I recently had a lady tell me how hurt and disrespected she felt about an ex thinking he could just come by at any hour of the night and knock it. It was a feeling of being totally disrespected and used (and she kicked his sorry azz out).

When both are using each other, that is one thing…sport effing, but when feelings and emotions aren’t even considered, that is using someone. Now one could say that it is the “used piece of meat”’s fault for being naive. I think both should have some responsibility. IMHO So jump on it Simple Man, call me weird but I think of women as equals until crisis time…then it is my lead.

…and by the way, I was the “boy toy” in a relationship too once…I wanted more, she didn’t want anything except to do the do and go back to her place. Besides, she said I snored LOL.

Sweet Pea

July 13th, 2011
9:56 am

@ITL~ Don’t get sucked in to Reio’s light! :roll:

Hey Leggs..that’s what I’m talking about!

Thanks! Lovely Brown :)

Reio

July 13th, 2011
9:59 am

@ Sweet Pea : What light?

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 13th, 2011
10:00 am

Lovely Brown:
Folks lie saying it is just that a bc, when in reality they want more than the other is willing to give. I don’t call it wrong, but to me if you are engaging in it over a certain age you’re lonely.

Into the Light

July 13th, 2011
10:01 am

LOL @ Sweet Pea. I’m noticing that Reio’s posts are all essentially the same….so either he has short-term memory loss, or nothing to contribute except one comment said seven different ways. :)

Dan - Simply...Superior

July 13th, 2011
10:02 am

I’m just saying…

If you’re looking for a relationship (of any kind) and start off with preconditions or preconcieved notions, you’re going to be single a long time…

Lovely Brown

July 13th, 2011
10:02 am

A lot of folk have been a yum yum call and will never admit it, they will take it to the grave :lol:

Reio

July 13th, 2011
10:05 am

@ Swweet Pea & Intyo The Light : The truth hurts. hehehe…

Purple Rain

July 13th, 2011
10:05 am

If you are mature enough to deal with your own actions go for it.

I saw the woman again this morning, she walked by me at the gas pump. I stayed longer to let her go in so that I would not have to be close to her. When I went inside she came up behind me and said “hello how are you?” I said “I’m good” Then I let her go inline before me. I just had to see the figure again, she caught me looking and smiled. I walked away to the fountain machine to get a drink to get away from her(she is that beautiful and fine) I look back and she is looking at me smiling. I noticed that she had a wedding band on for the first time today. Lord keep me strong, I really need you on this one. INFANT BABY JESUS this woman is awesome to the eyes….I know I know…but her beauty and being speaks to the primal man in me.

Lovely Brown

July 13th, 2011
10:08 am

to me if you are engaging in it over a certain age you’re lonely.

@Blackfoote- I agree with you on this.

kimmie

July 13th, 2011
10:08 am

Morning All!!

Simple – Yes, you were the benefactor of an INCREDIBLE Sade & John Legend concert last night!!! The lady and her band, the lighting and sets, it was just amazing! I enjoyed myself last night. We went with another couple. Neither husband had ever seen her live before, so they were in a different world!LOL!!! My friend kept asking her husband if he was pregnant yet!LOL!! Some folks stayed on their feet the entire show. Just a lot of love in the house last night at Phillips.

Topic- If you can’t tell when you’re a bc, you need to stop seeing people until you get a clue. No, the dating world is not so complicated that you can’t tell!

california girl pat

July 13th, 2011
10:10 am

@DAVE …… is that you ? all you need to do is call me . leave all these other cheap hussies alone if you want a REAL relationship !

Lovely Brown

July 13th, 2011
10:11 am

INFANT BABY JESUS this woman is awesome to the eyes….I know I know…but her beauty and being speaks to the primal man in me.

:lol: @ PR sounding like Ricky Bobby :lol:

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 13th, 2011
10:12 am

Simple Man:
I had a mature woman try it on me, she claimed she didn’t want any thing other to do with me than have sex. I said sure I can handle that, once and every now and then we came together I notice the change in her. She started staying longer, wanted to know my day routine, over time she came out with it she wanted to be with now. Now I had to think, how can I have relations when she drew the line in the sand. And now she got feelings I never gained because of her initial stance.

Oldie but goodie

July 13th, 2011
10:13 am

I have known on woman now for about thirty years. When she calls, I make myself available. When she calls, it is a “do anything to me” call. She seems to have a passion for degrading, hot sex with someone who she can trust. The thing is, I am sure that I make her perform acts that she would never do with her ex-husbands… yet she keeps coming back. Do I mind? No.

Black Coffy...no sugar...no cream ;-)

July 13th, 2011
10:13 am

Now most WANT to be involved in meaningful relatinships, but they are not scared to get that oil changed when they decide its time…

I know that’s right…it’s all about choices and to each their own. I think there should be a mutual understanding when entering into a situation like that and everyone should know the boundaries/limitations. That being said, it should also be agreed upon that if one person starts to “feel differently”(be it good or bad) then the boundaries/limitations need to be re-visited and re-assessed to determine if things should/can go in a different direction(like a relationship) or end. That’s what I did with the boy toy when I didn’t want to be with him anymore..much to his chagrin but oh well…

Sweet Pea

July 13th, 2011
10:15 am

ITL~ Exactly! It’s some fracklenackle bull!

Perhaps there needs to be a change in him if he keeps attracting the same ones as he described.

Ummmm No Reio, YOUR truth doesn’t hurt me as it appears my friend you’ve been hurt quite a bit to make a statement about most women are crazy.

Simple Man....

July 13th, 2011
10:17 am

“to me if you are engaging in it over a certain age you’re lonely.”

What am I missing??? Why does this make you lonely???

Purple Rain

July 13th, 2011
10:19 am

Lovely Brown, I would not need a booty call with her. I think I could orgasm if I just thought about her for more than 5 minutes.

Sweet Pea

July 13th, 2011
10:23 am

@PR~What a visual??

I walked away to the fountain machine to get a drink to get away from her

Hmmmm….You had to cool yourself off 8-)

Purple Rain

July 13th, 2011
10:25 am

Sweat Pea, yes. I have never been that mesmerized in all of my travels before.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

July 13th, 2011
10:26 am

@ Purple Rain LOL, man. Been there done that. There have been a few times in my life where I have encountered someone and all of a sudden 2000 years of civilization goes right out the window…I want to monkey f*&^ her right there. She may not be the most beautiful woman I know, but there is something that makes me want to say, “take my car, my house, my first born child, take it all…but take ME right dayum now”.

;-) Been there man. (Patty D. from Calhouns in Knoxville where are you).

Dave

July 13th, 2011
10:28 am

LOL@California girl, well I’m definately looking for just one person and I cook, clean and take care of myself. I want one person, but not exactly open for the thought of marriage. But definately a monogamous relationship. I’ve been trying to meet someone, but they are either too young (under 35, I seem to attract them and I’m 46) or they start asking me where I want to live when we’re married after a couple of dates…lol. The gold digger was just my most recent experience. The search continues…..

Reio

July 13th, 2011
10:29 am

@Purple Rain. You must becrazy, just like these women on here. No woman that beautiful has ever existed. Come on now.

brad

July 13th, 2011
10:30 am

Ah yes, a thread that speaks to the true intellectual level of Atlanta.

Sweet Pea

July 13th, 2011
10:32 am

@PR~I commend you for self-control and loyalty as some men would’ve have followed her with the intent of getting some side action. It’s obvious that the experience was breathtaking! Isley Brothers song..Who’s That Lady is ringing in my mind excluding some of the lyrics

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 13th, 2011
10:33 am

Purple don’t squeeze the Charmin….LOL

MzNewy

July 13th, 2011
10:34 am

Not a newbie…just been busy. Hey all.

@ Sweet Pea hey it is what it is.. you know there are some folks who will just have squatters all their lives because they won’t put up a door, never mind putting a lock on it. LOL

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 13th, 2011
10:37 am

Reio:
No beautiful women, where are you from? Haven’t heard that from a guy.

MzNewy

July 13th, 2011
10:38 am

Simple man about your 9:55…it’s all good to change the oil every now and then but if all you do is run to Jiffy Lube every now and then, eventually you are going to at best need a new engine, at worst…a new car.

Even with a busy life, folks who say they don’t want more are lying to you and themselves. Because if it were only about needing a physical release, they got toys for that.

Celisea

July 13th, 2011
10:39 am

Blackfoote – No beautiful women, where are you from? Haven’t heard that from a guy.

Me either and I’m a woman. Thing about this comment is that women come in an array of sizes and colors and really beautiful is to your preference. So for EVERY man out there, there’s a beautiful woman.

Reio – How old are you?

SexyCool

July 13th, 2011
10:40 am

The concert was lovely. John Legend sounds awesome live. Sade put on an amazing concert. However, if you have seen her concert DVD, you will realize that it is basically the exact same show with new songs and *some* updated background. But nonetheless, a wonderful evening overall.

Leggs

July 13th, 2011
10:40 am

Nicely said, MzNewy!

Celisea

July 13th, 2011
10:40 am

Ms. Newzy – I’m agreeing with your 10:38. Pitstops always have their downfalls….eventually

MsMarriedUp

July 13th, 2011
10:43 am

This actually is a nice little chatty group this go round…

@Reio is on it… along with whoever said they are all bc’s… and RandyT breaking it down on the emotional side of things. Most (& of course this primarily means women) won’t understand bc’s to the point to respect (maybe give it another name) UNTIL they’ve had an orgasm… a REAL One!

@Purple Rain… you may have revealed this in another post…I don’t know… but after reading here, you need to write a book. I would buy…and read it. Like your style.

MzNewy

July 13th, 2011
10:43 am

Thanks Leggs

Hey Celisea…

I have missed ya’ll Been busy as heck lately with work. Hope all is well!

SexyCool

July 13th, 2011
10:44 am

Purp – temptation is a son of a bitch.

Reio

July 13th, 2011
10:44 am

@Celisea : I’m 49.

Celisea

July 13th, 2011
10:47 am

Stick around Ms.Newzy…we miss a mix and variety :)

SexyC – You ain’t never lied…regarding temptation. That will make you drop EVERY and walk to the left…to avoid it…just saying

Reio – Okay…just wondering

MsMarriedUp – I truly thrustfully understand a REAL orgasm…many many many many times :mrgreen:

Purple Rain

July 13th, 2011
10:50 am

Sweat Pea, thanks. I am seriously going to have to go to another station from now on. I know me and I know my limits. I don’t want to let weakness in so another station it is.

Blackfoote, I have to stay away. I am still a man.

Randy, I started rationalizing all of that. Started to think I can get away with it. Nobody will know had plenty of thoughts of what I would do to her. All of these thoughts in about 5 seconds total. Then I thought about what I would lose…that still did not make the feeling go away. In this situation I just have to go the opposite direction because if I hang around to long I would be in trouble. For some reason that woman makes me weak and I do not know a thing about her. I almost asked her what is your name, before I decided to flee to the fountain machine. Thing is I don’t even think I want to have sex with her, I would just want to stare at her chocolate skin, run my hands through her short hair, have her just stand in front of me naked…I would bite her on the booty then just be done and go home. Is that cheating? LOL Sorry blog family, I am just venting on here, getting it all out of my system so to speak.

Reio, don’t talk to me. Just in case you are wondering why I am not responding to you.

Willie Dynamite

July 13th, 2011
10:52 am

Morning All,

On Topic – I am of the opinion that a BC is just that. Nothing more nothing less. It’s not hard to recognize the signs. 98% of all BC’s are mutual in understanding even for the ones in denial the signs are there. Now the remaining are disguised at an relationship attempt that failed but the O was good.

Purp – you slowly slipping away man. This started as a random friday thing now look at you in the middle of the week. Did you realize you just bought a 6 pack of Schlitz. hahaha

Leggs

July 13th, 2011
10:52 am

I am cracking up at you, PR. “Bite her on her booty and then just be done and go home.” Hilarious!!

Purple Rain

July 13th, 2011
10:53 am

MsMarriedUp, I mentioned her on here before.

Reio

July 13th, 2011
10:53 am

@Purple Rain : Thanks. By the way, that would be cheating. Sorry.

Leggs

July 13th, 2011
10:54 am

SC – mail call.

Into the Light

July 13th, 2011
10:55 am

PR, it’s good that you know your limits. :)

Purple Rain

July 13th, 2011
10:56 am

Leggs, I was being serious, I would.

Willie, yes I am. I can not go to that store anymore.

Leggs

July 13th, 2011
10:58 am

@PR ~ I sense you’re very serious. I remember you talking about her before. And, because you know your limitations, start going to another station. You all ga ga over there over this beauty will only lead you to T R O U B L E!!

Celisea

July 13th, 2011
11:01 am

PR – Your limitations are the same as ours. If you tip and tetter around it long enough it’s going to get you. Your limitations would be a change of scenary/venue. None of us that strong. We’re only as strong as moving away from something that’s oh so tempting.