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Telltale signs of a booty call

There may come a time when you have to ask the tough question: Am I just a booty call? It would seem that this would be an easy thing to figure out, but alas..dating is not always easy.  Sometimes you have mixed signals, double talk, sweet talk, lip service (not the good kind), and plain old jedi mind tricks.

So what are the signs that let you know you are just there for entertainment?  Few people come out and say, “Hey you are just something to do until somebody else comes along” but their actions somewhat support that statement.

Guys do you know (or care?) when you are being considered only as the maintenance man?  Would you prefer to be told that it’s never going anywhere, so just enjoy the ride while it lasts?

What are the top telltale signs…you’re just a booty call?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

342 comments Add your comment

Simple Man....

July 13th, 2011
8:17 am

Its a Beautiful day and The topic comes at the best possible time!!!! I received a call around 1:30 this morning from a dear friend that went to the Sade concert last night with 3 of her friends….Apparently, John Legend and Sade put in down and My friend was feeling the need to have her oil changed after seeing the show. Am I upset??? Do I feel cheap and used? LMAO at that one….Now I know this type of thing is never considered by some of our blog mates, but hey, when grown, fully functional, self sufficient adults decide to enjoy carnal relations with no strings attached, where is the problem????

Hines W.

July 13th, 2011
8:20 am

If you don’t want to be somebody’s Booty Call, don’t get arrested and put in a DeKalb County jail.

Dan - Simply...Superior

July 13th, 2011
8:30 am

Jedi mind tricks only work on the weak minded..

ATLER

July 13th, 2011
8:31 am

No strings attached relationship with a fine, Ga peach…….. Who cares if I’m a booty call for her. I flip the strip though and leave her wanting more. So what starts off as a booty call ends in her wanting a relationship. Go figure!!!!!!!!!

Dave

July 13th, 2011
8:32 am

What’s even worse that a Booty Call is being someone’s “I don’t have a date and I’m hungry” Call. I went out with a very beautiful woman from my gym that acted like she was very into me. The problem was that she would order so much food that each time, the bill was around $80-$90 and THEN she wanted to go be entertained (clubs, dancing, drinking, etc..). She even asked me to come over and cook dinner for her and her parents. She would always dress prvocatively and in pretty expensive clothes, but she doesn’t have a job(???). I noticed that after each date, it was like she would shut down and give me a little peck for a good night kiss. The she started tell me pretty unbelieveable stories about how she was “going to Charlotte on the weekend” or some other place. I then found out that she had been trying to get this really wealthy man to date her and staying with him all weekend. After two weeks, I told her “I’m not a fill in date and I don’t play second string.” She gave me this “Well F you” look and I haven’t had contact with her since. Lessons are learned and experience is by far the best teacher.

Beverly Hall

July 13th, 2011
8:36 am

I try to be honest in all of my relationships.

;)

Bill Clinton

July 13th, 2011
8:37 am

I always feel used by the women in my life. :(

Deuce

July 13th, 2011
8:38 am

Simple Man…. I too have been there, done that, and didn’t mind at all servicing one in need. No problem at all.

Carlos

July 13th, 2011
8:41 am

(@Dave Ouch Brother sorry to hear that) But on the topic; It depends on the person in general; times have change. We live in a world that sex is everywhere in some form or fashion. If the recieving end has no problem with a being the “booty-call” (wow times have really change when booty-call is a acceptable social term) then its all good. But if said party wants more than the given arrangements, then the fling is over.

Sweet Pea

July 13th, 2011
8:45 am

Good Morning,

What are the top telltale signs…you’re just a booty call?

If a person does not appear to have any interest in anything else than wanting to know your fav positions, conversations laced with innuendos that infer the hook up, and visits that always lead to the same place..B>E<D moreso than spending quality time together, meeting family and friends, and establishing a relationship that could lead to exclusivity is a yum yum call in my opinion! :-P

A

July 13th, 2011
8:45 am

Simple Man, I was at the concert last night. Sade did put it down. She had me thinking somethings (sorry all for going off on the tangent). Simple Man, I agree with your comment — “where is the problem”? There are numerous women out there who I welcome being their sex slave. Use me…..

Dave

July 13th, 2011
8:52 am

Hell, I would welcome whole heartedly being on the receiving end of a Booty Call. In my above situation, I was paying out the wazzoo and only getting a peck goodnight. Talk about getting “played” and it was my fault for not seeing it sooner.

Sweet Pea

July 13th, 2011
8:52 am

Lessons are learned and experience is by far the best teacher.

Dave, glad you learned! You can best believe Karma ain’t beautiful ;-)

Craig

July 13th, 2011
8:55 am

From a man’s point of view: AMEN
You hit it on the head when you said “Jedi mind trick” and ” mix signals”

Just Wait

July 13th, 2011
8:59 am

@Dave and @Sweet Pea, certainly a valuable lesson learned, and Dave, Karma will catch up to her – I’ve seen it firsthand. Just wait a few more years when her looks and body won’t get her anywhere, she will be lost and pathetic . . . having said that, booty calls are great as long as you know that’s all it is, otherwise someone will be on the losing end . . .

MzNewy

July 13th, 2011
9:00 am

Good morning All. Long time no blog.

Sweet Pea nailed the top signs.

I am so glad I don’t have the BC issue anymore.

Dave

July 13th, 2011
9:00 am

I think I heard it best from an uncle of mine “Dave, no one likes a beautiful woman more than I do, but they sure are a lot of dayum trouble!”

Peachgirl

July 13th, 2011
9:02 am

Wow…………

Whatever happened to waiting for that special person to share yourself with. This is why as women we are treated like those names they call us in rap songs. Reckless disregard for ourselves and bodies. Our bodies, other than our minds , are one of the most valuable things we have to offer a man and to make it seem other wise, too me, sends the wrong message. Tells me just how much our values concerning relationships have changed.

Emmit Fitzhume

July 13th, 2011
9:04 am

What is wrong with leveraging a mutually beneficial situation?

Celisea

July 13th, 2011
9:10 am

Morning,

Can’t say I’ve ever been a booty call but I have enjoyed “no strings attached” sex with the kid’s father….DON’T JUDGE ME…lol I had no problem rolling through about 2 or 3ish, getting it done and rolling out..lol Truthfully, because of history with him, he was the only one though I was ever comfortable enough to go there and not feel used.

Some folks may be cool being a booty call, at least for those that have FWBs. Or maybe that’s not the same. Anyway, I agree about jedi mind tricks and playing games. A booty call recepient IMO can either be overtly obvious and you’re taking scraps for the sake of getting time in with said person or you’re getting bamboozled and falling for the okie doke. Never got time…unless sex is involved. Never in the daytime….unless for certain sex is happening before the evening is over with. Nothing…being a date..even starts before 12 a.m. Never dinner, entertaining, events before sex…just straight to it. If all you do with that person is sex…..and nothing else…just sex, you might be a booty call.

TenderRoni

July 13th, 2011
9:12 am

The game “Jedi mind tricks” men use is a.k.a Just telling a woman what he thinks she wants to hear, and wait and see if she falls for it.
Instead of just being honest. They want us to decipher their words.
I’m over it!

Celisea

July 13th, 2011
9:13 am

Like I’ve always said…I catch feelings…lol I can’t do it without emotions eventually seeping in so, it’s best I keep random booty out of my life.

Oh my God!

July 13th, 2011
9:14 am

Experience may be the best teacher, but a healthy dose of self confidence and common sense can prevent one from being taken advantage of in any of these predictable “What if….” sexual situation columns of late by the Wise Diva.

MzNewy

July 13th, 2011
9:14 am

I stopped renting our my facilities a long time ago. No one wants to buy anywhere squatters have been ;) After a certain age, BCs shouldn’t be your goal. Personally for me, speaking from just MY HUMBLE OPINION BCs are for when you are in the sampling stage of life (early 20s) if BCs become a way of life for you, then you are doomed to be just an option instead of a priority to anyone else.

MzNewy

July 13th, 2011
9:15 am

*that should have said “renting out” OOPS

Sweet Pea

July 13th, 2011
9:15 am

Anyone experienced the Double Talk/Mixed Signals mode???? Initially everything seems to be smooth sailing then it fizzles like flat soda, however the person resurfaces through texting and sporadic calls that insinuates hmmmmmmmmmmmmm a yum yum call…I won’t be a willing participant :roll: BUT if both are willing participants then do your thang! :-D I digress

realman

July 13th, 2011
9:25 am

@peachgirl

Peachgirl you could’nt said it any better. You nailed that one!!

Sweet Pea

July 13th, 2011
9:26 am

@TendeRoni/Celisea….my sentiments exactly! I feel that eventually you will catch feelings, and if the other person is not willing to take it to the next level then it creates baggage.

@Newzy your 9:14 post…Hilarious!!:lol:

Into the Light

July 13th, 2011
9:26 am

Morning, all!

I see we have some new bloggers this morning. Welcome, welcome, welcome!

Oh, and Simple, your breakfast got cold while you were breaking it down with Sade Concert Girl. Hmph. :???:

Reio

July 13th, 2011
9:29 am

All women are booty calls, initially. Even with good men. The difference is, a good man understands and wants a relationship, if she is a good fit, and will do what he believes to be the right thing by her in the future, if she is the right fit. But you are ALL booty calls in the beginning. Just the way it is.

Into the Light

July 13th, 2011
9:31 am

@Reio: Are you serious? Men really think that way?

realman

July 13th, 2011
9:31 am

Don’t waste your time. If he or she is a booty call for you, im sure they are a booty call for someone else too. Think about it!!

MsMarriedUp

July 13th, 2011
9:33 am

intimacy on the first date…withing 1st 15 mins of meeting…whereby thereafter, anyone with hopes of this type of meeting turning into a relationship is seriously dreaming.

no kissing is another one. bc’s don’t warrant it.

and then like mentioned, calling in the freakish hours of the night…early morning; no eye contact; vague; quiet; actually that’s another one —no talking, or very little of it… and of course not calling back until … ugh… oh yeah, until another one is needed;-) lollll

Lisa

July 13th, 2011
9:33 am

Peachgirl: I have to agree with you…”whatever happened to saving yourself for that special someone?” Rappers will continue to degrade women as they have, because some women don’t carry themselves with respect. They have opend that door to men which says “you can treat me however you please and say whatever you want… I will still get in your bed. Sad, but true.

Michael

July 13th, 2011
9:35 am

@Dave: Only two weeks! You got off easy.

Simple Man....

July 13th, 2011
9:36 am

Morning ITL…You know you are the only person that counts…she meant nothing to me…..

Reio

July 13th, 2011
9:37 am

@Into the Light : Of course. Look at it this way, if a man spots a woman, no matter what the circumstances, but he has no desire to make out with her, he will never say a word to her. On the other hand, if he has that desire for her, he may say something. But this you must know, if he does say something and wants to see you in the future, it’s because he wants you physically. No lie.

Into the Light

July 13th, 2011
9:38 am

Blah, blah, blah… :)

Hey, is it just me, or do some of these newbies read like regulars?? IJS…..

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

July 13th, 2011
9:40 am

One sign that stands out is a large majority of mature women aren’t into booty calls. Which means a small number of lonely women will do any guy/friend and get rid of his ass like a black widow spider. Younger girls tend to be the group that will do it, and most guys favor it so the wolves outnumber the sheep. And wolves have no emotions for prey. No emotions being the biggest sign.

Reio

July 13th, 2011
9:40 am

Enter your comments here

Into the Light

July 13th, 2011
9:41 am

Thanks for bursting my bubble of naivete, Reio. :) Seriously, I know that nine times out of ten it’s a physcial attraction that prompts a man to approach a woman. But I did kinda think it was my witty personality and stellar intelligence that made him stay for a conversation. :)

Reio

July 13th, 2011
9:43 am

Look. to us guys you are ALL booty calls, the difference is, a good man would also prefer a meaningful relationship, provided you are not crazy(most women are crazy).

Sweet Pea

July 13th, 2011
9:45 am

@realman I’m sure there are some on speed dial. My feelings and time are more valuable than random hook ups! However, as stated before to each his/her own…no judging as we all have fallen for something but I’ve grown beyond the weak at the knees stages…

Lovely Brown

July 13th, 2011
9:46 am

Good Morning All! :-)

@ Sweet Pea- I like your term better…yum yum call :lol:

I know I have been a yum yum call before. But hell, he was my ‘maintenance man’ I feel like if it is two grown folk that want to knock each other off and they both know that’s all it is then there should be no problem. The problems come when people start lying.

Reio

July 13th, 2011
9:47 am

@Into the Light : I stay for the conversation, hopeing that it will get me closer to the booty. provided your degree of crazy(all women are crazy) is minimal, I may want to have something more meaningful.

Simple Man....

July 13th, 2011
9:47 am

Lisa/ Peachgirl, Why are you injecting the thought and feelings of rappers into this conversation??? I fully respect your stance and your position that this kind of thing is not for you, so why is it so hard for you to respect the notion smart well adjusted people can make the ADULT choice to be involved in this kind of relationship. This is not for you and thats fine, but how about opening up to the thought that just because its not for you does not make it wrong…

Into the Light

July 13th, 2011
9:47 am

Reio, maybe you should rethink picking up women outside the mental health ward…. I kid, I kid :)

Leggs

July 13th, 2011
9:50 am

Good morning.

I work hard at not being anyone’s booty call. If you can call me after 10:00 or even later, never in the day time, you definitely won’t get my “night time.” Naw, not into booty call. I strive for so much more from life and from a mate! Don’t need my sheets warmed for a few hours only to hear from you a few weeks later for a repeat. I’m not a FWB type of gal.

Contractor

July 13th, 2011
9:51 am

I am all about a “protected” booty call, but what happens when a baby is made in the process of an unprotected booty call? I have a feeling that a lot of single parents could use this as the answer to why their dad isn’t around. Seeing as I was dumb and young once, 27 now, and still dumb at times, just not young anymore, I definitely had my fair share, but looking back, I feel very lucky a kid never came from any of those booty calls.

Reio

July 13th, 2011
9:51 am

In the beginning, you are all booty calls. All the other relationship stuff may come, if you’re a good fit, and your degree of crazy(most women are crazy) is minimal. The truth.