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Experiencing post-hook up weirdness?

My friend David has had his first post-divorce dating misadventure and he is already confused. It seems that he was surprised that women no longer want to sleep over after “doing the do.” I felt bad for him because he took it personally and worried that he did something wrong.

Everyone has “the morning after” or post-hook up behavior and rituals. It doesn’t always mean something good or bad. Sometimes women won’t feel like cuddling, talking, or even hanging around long (I know that sounds like the perfect woman to some men!) – you can rarely predict that kind of thing though.

Have you ever been confused about something a person did after you hooked up with them?

Do you think that it was solely because sex was involved?

Do you have any post-hook up patterns that you didn’t notice you had until someone called you on it?

Do you act differently afterwards?

439 comments Add your comment

Paul Robeson

July 8th, 2011
7:46 am

Don’t have a “ritual.” Whatever the mood dictates, I go with the flow. We can cuddle if she wants…unless my other chick is coming over.

George Clooney

July 8th, 2011
8:16 am

He confused she wanted to leave, it is her perogative. Women do not always want to cuddle, and if it’s not a cold rainy day they can leave at will.

Carrie Bradshaw

July 8th, 2011
8:19 am

Hot damn it’s Friday!

Other than taking a shower and maybe having a taste for something sweet, i don’t have any post-hookup rituals. However, I will say that the next 24 to 72hrs can be a bit awkward or sort of like a waiting/gestation period of sorts after the deed is done, especially if it’s after the first time. You’ve, hopefully, gotten that monkey off your back, calmed down the waters of anticipation and cleared the mind a little after the release enough to sort of see what’s left on the table. We’ve discussed this before that the sexual tension/chemistry between two folks can cloud the thought process a bit. So some times there is that limbo stage to see if one party is regretful, disappointed or what not.

Marlo Stansfield aka "Mr Sticky Chin"

July 8th, 2011
8:21 am

Morning Folks!! Post hookup actions depend on where the deed was done..If I am at her house, Then I start looking for my things so that I can make my way home….If she is at my place, I tend to let her dictate what happens…My only caviot is that she can not leave ANYTHING of hers at my place when she leaves……

mark

July 8th, 2011
8:24 am

i have noticed in my experiences that a lot of ladies hate doing the WALK OF SHAME in the morning and just leave right after sex which is cool by me. i dont have get up and cook you something to eat or go get you a soda.

Marlo Stansfield aka "Mr Sticky Chin"

July 8th, 2011
8:27 am

Wait I just thought of something…I totally enjoy naked Breakfast…Lets go into the kitchen, make a kick azz veggie omlet with fruit and Juice….Usually leads to a repeat performance :)

George Clooney

July 8th, 2011
8:48 am

If it was too good I will ask her to stay, if she leaves then she misses a good hot breakfast. I get it if she wants to start her day. Perception of her leaving will not affect how our goals may or may not be reached.

Carrie Bradshaw

July 8th, 2011
8:51 am

Marlo – What is that all about, regarding leaving trinkets behind…is that because you have more than one woman?

Peaches

July 8th, 2011
8:52 am

Whether I stay the night or invite him to all depends on the act itself!! If it was, how shall we say, satisfying- then hell yea I want to/want him to stick around…repeat!

Marlo Stansfield aka "Mr Sticky Chin"

July 8th, 2011
8:55 am

Carrie, its because I am very protective of my home…Not that I expect a woman to do something as sneaky as say, leaving behind panties or an earring or something to “mark” her territory, but I would be doing myself a disservice If I did not at least acknowledge that there are some women that would stoop to doing such things….

Levi Johnson!

July 8th, 2011
8:58 am

Post hook up weirdness?

Just bring the wet and warm towel and wipe this here goodie goodie stick Ms Palin. What you do after we done is on on you.

And take all your lipstick,make up kit,underwears and spare bras all with you!

If Iam at her house,no extended cuddling.

It’s wipe,dress up and go..

See ya!!!

good morning!

Nia Long

July 8th, 2011
8:58 am

Carrie Bradshaw

July 8th, 2011
9:02 am

Marlo – I’ve never understood how someone could leave their panties behind and not be aware of it UNLESS, she had to jump up and leave in a hurry or if she was there for a few days and have showered & changed. Otherwise, yo ass know when you aren’t wearing any undies…

Now if buddy is at my spot, I don’t have any issue with him staying over UNLESS he snores like a 800lb midget. If i’m at the guys crib, I always like the option to stay but sometimes it’s hard to fall asleep in a new environment. Thank Goodness that’s not a current problem for me because Mr. Big always lets me stay.. ;-)

Marlo Stansfield aka "Mr Sticky Chin"

July 8th, 2011
9:08 am

Carrie, I never said that women forget to put the panties back on..I said that some women will do that…

Jill Scott

July 8th, 2011
9:11 am

Good Morning All and Happy Friday! :-)

The only post hook up weirdness I have experienced is when I thought it was a one night stand deal, but the dude wanted more. It kills me when people think that women are always the ones to catch feelings and weird out after sex.

Levi Johnson!

July 8th, 2011
9:14 am

Jill?

It’s not that he caught feelings…don’t get it twisted…

He just wanted more mileage on your ass… :lol:

comeOn now!

Levi Johnson!

July 8th, 2011
9:14 am

Jill?

It’s not that he caught feelings…don’t get it twisted…

He just wanted more mileage on your ass… :lol:

comeOn now!

Levi Johnson!

July 8th, 2011
9:14 am

Jill?

It’s not that he caught feelings…don’t get it twisted…

He just wanted more mileage on your ass… :lol:

comeOn now!

Nia Long

July 8th, 2011
9:15 am

Levi, you probably look out for yourself. Get yours then get to stepping.

Marlo Stansfield aka "Mr Sticky Chin"

July 8th, 2011
9:15 am

Jill, He went in thinking one night stand, but after you put it on him, he was all in love like you were on your second CD!!! :)

Levi Johnson!

July 8th, 2011
9:16 am

So Levi is a haunted name?

Hah hah ha hah hah

the Palins are damn Crawzzzzy! :shock:

What?!?!?

July 8th, 2011
9:16 am

Why are you “Wise Diva” when you never give any actual advice or wisdom?

Marlo Stansfield aka "Mr Sticky Chin"

July 8th, 2011
9:18 am

Nia Long has teh Sexiest Bow Leggs that I have ever seen in my life…I would give up teh first to joints on my left hand to take a shower with her…..

George Clooney

July 8th, 2011
9:19 am

Anybody seen Harris Faulkner I would NOT let her leave!

Hi Jill Scott hit one of those soulful tunes.

Carrie Bradshaw

July 8th, 2011
9:21 am

Marlo – I wasn’t saying you said women forget their undies…I was just speaking to the fact that I’ve heard guys say women do that sort of thing. Either way, a chick leaving anything behind won’t stop no show. My ex had pictures of me up around his house and that didn’t stop a chick from going over there to get her rocks off. She told me she had seen my pictures :???:

George Clooney

July 8th, 2011
9:24 am

Hey Carrie I have pictures of you around my house, wanna come see sometime?

Johnnie Cochran

July 8th, 2011
9:27 am

Morning Folks
The ladies always tell me that I’m weird because I don’t fall asleep.

Marlo Stansfield aka "Mr Sticky Chin"

July 8th, 2011
9:30 am

Johnnie, It would be so much easier to sleep if you would just pull your foot out of Chris Darden and Marcia Clarks’ azzes….

Jill Scott

July 8th, 2011
9:30 am

It’s not that he caught feelings…don’t get it twisted…

He just wanted more mileage on your ass

You may be right……but dude was almost at stalker status, not cool!

Jill, He went in thinking one night stand, but after you put it on him, he was all in love like you were on your second CD!!!

Okay, you got me on that one :lol:

Bit-O-Hunny

July 8th, 2011
9:31 am

It’s only weird if the sex was less than satisfying. If I was “slayed” then I’ll want to take a brief intermission and then go at it again. Being awakened by a great lover is a wonderful experience….For instance this morning……no, not going there…LOL

Jill Scott

July 8th, 2011
9:33 am

@ George Clooney- I said I wasn’t gonna sing today, but I will sing for you……HOT!

Johnnie Cochran

July 8th, 2011
9:33 am

I didn’t mine the Bruno Magli’s weren/t mine; they didn’t fit.

Carrie Bradshaw

July 8th, 2011
9:33 am

George – I already know what I look like so why would I need to come to your house to see pics of ME? (smells like a setup)

Sade

July 8th, 2011
9:34 am

Morning my celebrity friends! I’m feeling cool and elegant today! :)

Ahh, the morning after! I made it a practice to not over-stay my welcome. Either I would tip out the night before or get out first thing in the morning. If morning, stop and grab some wonderful coffee somewhere. I’m cool like that, you see! If he was at my house, most would not linger, they’d usually role out early. I noticed as I got older and the quality of my dates got better, by the time we would do the do, most men would not leave the night before, but they would leave out early. Not too early to seem sneaky but not too late to be awkward. Ahh, it’s wonderful being grown and sexy!!

Levi Johnson!

July 8th, 2011
9:35 am

Bit-O-Horny!

I hope he wiped you first with a soft towel before he went down there…

abc;

July 8th, 2011
9:35 am

I swear, it has to be only one person that posts all this BS. It’s a good thing I’ll never actually meet any of you folks. It’d wind up being just me and one other person.

This is another topic for kids, WD. I actually agree with the (BS) post about how come your moniker is Wise Diva when you never have anything to contribute but questions, and juvenile ones at that.

Carrie Bradshaw

July 8th, 2011
9:36 am

Bit-O-Honey – Well you might as well give up the details because afterall, it IS Freaky Fornicating Friday :lol:

Angela Bassett

July 8th, 2011
9:38 am

Morning blogsters and bloggetts!

It’s hard to gauge right now for WD’s friend. It can go either way. I say this because I so know myself. If there aren’t any additional dates, activities, hookups then he might be right. Then again she may have had her reasons for not staying and nothing personal.

I’ve been either offended or simply not attracted and pulled out. But I didn’t make it obvious though so I can see where he might be a bit confused.

Levi Johnson!

July 8th, 2011
9:38 am

Hey headmaster ‘abc’ go somewhere befitting of your ‘cerebral’ and high horse.

Why so grumpy?

It’s beautiful outside ….got honey lately?

Jesus!

Angela Bassett

July 8th, 2011
9:39 am

@abc

It was agreed upon yesterday that this would be cwazy Friday and everyone would post under an alias. Can you figure out who’s behind the post?

Sade

July 8th, 2011
9:39 am

Looks like alphabet man got up on the wrong side of the bed this beautiful morning!!

Be cool, alphabet! Slowing recite the letters, you’ll feel better!

Nia Long

July 8th, 2011
9:40 am

abc;, why so negative, you on here posting along with the rest of us?

abc;

July 8th, 2011
9:40 am

This just became entirely too much a waste of time. What a load.

Marlo Stansfield aka "Mr Sticky Chin"

July 8th, 2011
9:40 am

Hunny, sounds like you are ready for the re-mix !! :D :) :D

Johnnie Cochran

July 8th, 2011
9:40 am

Nia you were definitely all over my top 5 list when we took the blog survey. I had you in spot #1, spot #2, spot #3, spot #4, and spot #5. :-)

Angela Bassett

July 8th, 2011
9:41 am

I think that’s an imposter abc

Carrie Bradshaw

July 8th, 2011
9:42 am

abc – Well, again, please suggest a more mature topic under the lines of Misadventures in Dating. What sort of issues, concerns, questions have you previously or recently experienced that we could debate/discuss?

Tito Jackson

July 8th, 2011
9:42 am

Well, I just figured out who Leggs is. LOL

ab, why do you even come to the blog. What is your reasoning, because nothing is going to change no matter how much you complain.

Levi Johnson!

July 8th, 2011
9:42 am

Nia?

I do but I have perfected the art over the years such that when I do it right(trying to satisfy me) I actually end up killing two birds with one stone…that means ’slaying’ her as well.(to borrow from Bit-O-horny)

Hows that?

Sade

July 8th, 2011
9:42 am

Angela – I don’t think so. He’s just being his usual downer self.