A reader emailed me about a relationship issue she is dealing with now that she has moved in with her man. He spends a great deal of time and money on “adult entertainment” and it bothers her.
She thinks that now that she lives with him, he shouldn’t need those extracurricular activities! She wants to know: Should she let him know that it bothers her? Is it unfair to ask him to reduce or eliminate his consumption?
I can relate since I once dated a dude with trashbags full of his favorites. Trash. Bags. Full. Yeah, that was one of many reasons things didn’t work out between us. Truthfully, I never actually told him that bothered me and I regret that.
I want to help our reader out because I’ve been there before and my response was to ignore it. I don’t think that is “wise” at all, so what do you guys think?
What would you do if you were in either position? Would you bring it up if it was the other person’s unhealthy fixation?
Would you be bothered if someone told you that they were not comfortable with your adult entertainment consumption?
Side note: A friend told me that she thinks many of the single men she meets at church have a real problem with this. (Unfortunately, I don’t have personal knowledge of this since I haven’t been in anyone’s church lately). Have any of you noticed this issue at your church or religious organizations?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog