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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Just like one of the guys

When a single woman suddenly realizes she has an entire collection of guy friends, she probably will wonder, “Why aren’t I dating any of my amazing guy friends?!”

I think being just like one of the guys has it’s perks, but what should a girl do when all she gets invited to are boy’s night out? Once a guy perceives a girl as a homie, one of the guys, could she ever make him see her differently?

Guys do men like women who are cool and non-girly? If these are the types that seem low maintenance, why is it hard to ask them out? Why go for the high maintenance type if being like one of the guys is a positive thing?

by Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

189 comments Add your comment

Foxy

July 5th, 2011
7:50 am

GM
Foxy might date like a guy, but I assure you -I have never been one of them! ;)

Simple Man...

July 5th, 2011
8:10 am

Good Morning!! Hope everyone had a wondeful Holiday weekend!!!

On topic:
* “do men like women who are cool and non-girly?” Two completely separate issues that should not be viewed the same. My circle of friends includes two women that are very cool, and very much considered as one of the guys and both happen to be VERY GIRLY. We do not cross teh line and try to date them ( or them us) because as adults we have made teh choice to value our friendship above all else. Now I don’t have any girls in my circle that are “Hard and non-girl” so I can’t relate to that, so I guess it comes down to the realization that not everyone is suitable to date regardless of how great a person they are…Sometimes It really is ok to just be freinds :)

blue-eyed-blonde

July 5th, 2011
8:36 am

Good Morning Foxy & Simple Man: Hard coming back to the real world after a long weekend.

I’ve got several guy friends and I assure you I’m very girly, girly all the way down to my pink sandals.
Some of them have been freinds for many years and the thought of dating them would be like dating my brother!! But I love sports and would rather sit with these guys watching a ball game than gossipping in the kitchen. Also a couple of them are married and am friends with their wives as well. Like Simple Man said, they are really two separate issues.

Beverly Hall

July 5th, 2011
8:51 am

Although I will soon be leaving town, I don’t want to be treated as just one of the boys.

dougmo2

July 5th, 2011
8:55 am

From the reverse side of things. I had a girl-friend (strictly platonic) who after 16 years of just hanging out and being friends, slept together and ruined the relationship and friendship. It is one of the worst mistakes I ever made. NEVER date a friend. The emotional toll it takes at the end of the day is not worth it.

Where They Do Dat At?

July 5th, 2011
8:56 am

@Simple- Are you saying that you have never had any sexual tension with the girly gils in your group?

SlimNumeroUno

July 5th, 2011
9:15 am

Well, well, well,….reality has set back in and it’s time to go back to work after a 3 day weekend. WACK!

Oh yeah, Good morning Blogsville

Dave

July 5th, 2011
9:15 am

Depends. I do like a woman that can fit in, hang out and be relaxed with the guys. That shows confidence. But I also like a woman that can fix up when the time comes for it. I can wear a tux or a pair of sweats and be comfortable in both, so I guess I like a woman that can do a little of everything. I do NOT like a woman that is all frills and lace, doesn’t ever want to get dirty or break a nail or constantly updating her make-up every hour or so. Diversity and adaptability, people.

Dave

July 5th, 2011
9:16 am

Also, note to self: Take the 5th of July off from this day forward….

czBrat

July 5th, 2011
9:25 am

HiYas!

agreeing with those who have already said you can kick it with the gents and still be sugar and spice and everything nice. i am infinitely more comfortable among guys, and i most certainly do not blend in.

duo, i had a friendship turn relationship … then successfully back to friendship. it is unfortunate when good vibes are ruined by intimacy. :lol:

Simple Man...

July 5th, 2011
9:25 am

Where They do…Yeah…This is Atlanta…There are thousands of women here to be involved with..Why would I (or her for that matter) risk a great friendship for the sake of what may or may not be? I love and value them in a way that really does make them off limits. They boundries were set early and all parties involved respect them completely.

kimmie

July 5th, 2011
9:43 am

Morning all!

I grew up with 4 brothers. I went thru my tomboy phase and am now very girly. Love girly stuff, to a certain extent. I’m not overboard with the pink & all. Not afraid to get my hands dirty either and love certain sports. I am comfortable around the guys but I am definitely not “one of them”. When my husbands “boys” are around, I can joke and kick it with them some, but I go on and either get with my girls or just do my own thing. I’m not all up in “man stuff” and I hate it when dudes are all up in “women stuff”. The 2 worlds don’t collide in my world!

As for when I was single, why didn’t I date the guy friends? Yeah, there were some that I know liked me like that and even told me so. But I just wasn’t feeling them that way. I then limited my time around them until they got over their little crush. Nice guys, just not for me. Like Simple said, just cause they are great that doesn’t mean you have to date everybody! Folks used to trip me out about that kind of stuff though. They would be pressing me – why don’t you date so & so, you’re being too picky! Last time I checked it was a free country and we all could date whomever we liked!!

THE INFAMOUS DK

July 5th, 2011
9:45 am

Of course she can get out of the friend zone and quite simply if she wants to. Have sex with the one she wants. First she has to set it up right by flirting with him when none of the other friends around. Then pull and Aaliyah if I let this go move you cant tell nobody.. Now this all hinges on if the friend thinks shes hot or not and someone he could date. If not she doomed to the friend zone just like us guys who women deem us not boyfriend material.. Dudes would screw their girl homies if the op presented itseelf and if all else fails.. Blame it on the alcohol..

THE INFAMOUS DK

July 5th, 2011
9:46 am

kimmie

July 5th, 2011
9:48 am

Hey DK! What’s shakin?

SlimNumeroUno

July 5th, 2011
9:52 am

I think I’m pretty much the type of chick that can be cool around the guys but still clean up into the semi-girly girly thing as well. Pretty much of the guys I’ve dated, they all stated that I made them feel as if they could be relaxed and comfy around me. I would never want to be solely looked upon as “just one of the guys” by a dude I was interested in though.

THE INFAMOUS DK

July 5th, 2011
9:56 am

Kimmie – Its the same soup just reheated on my end.. Just wanted to stop by and say hello

kimmie

July 5th, 2011
10:01 am

Its the same soup just reheated on my end

:lol: :lol:

EAT ON TON

July 5th, 2011
10:04 am

I think it is all about finding a good balance. Most guys I know like girls that can fit into any environment, someone that can adapt to any situation. Most of my friends and I are very girly. We like to get dressed up, go out, go shopping, etc. But we can also have just as much fun at a college football tailgate, hanging out with the guys, drinking beer and grilling out. Most men I know don’t want a super prissy girl- but they also don’t want someone that can be considered “just one of the guys”.

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
10:19 am

Good morning, good morning.

@Dave ~ I’m with you on taking the 5th off going forward. I was so close to taking PTO today.

I have guy friends. A few who like me “that way,” but I won’t go that route. We’ve been friends for so many years, I don’t see them “like that.” I shoot the isht with them to a certain extent. The only sports talk I have a handle on is boxing or track.

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
10:27 am

This topic reminds me of the movie “Love and Basketball”

kimmie

July 5th, 2011
10:32 am

Leggs – You know, as I’ve gotten older I have really begun to appreciate more and more my girlfriends. I love my guy friends,don’t get me wrong. But over the years I got tired of dealing with the tension when the guys started liking me “like that” or when they get a female SO or when I got a male SO – dealing with the awkwardness of all that. My good girlfriends are the ones that will be there for me thru thick & thin. I’ll always be there for them as well. I really value them and they are like family. They treat me the same way.

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
10:33 am

It’s cool to have a woman who is comfortable around guys, but not one who prefers to hang around guys most of the time. Women are still women and they need to have their woman place and friends just like men need to be meen and have their man things to do.

Lovely Brown

July 5th, 2011
10:36 am

Good Morning all! :-)

I agree with everyone that said I should’ ve taken the 5th off…..still recovering, too much white wine and smoke….from the fireworks :lol:

On topic- I am truly a girly-girl. I always have been, it’s just me. But, I like football and can follow the game just fine, I love basketball esp. college. I will have some beers and wings w/ the guys in my pink t-shirt :lol:

I slept with one of my guy friends, one night after work and too many coronas. It was horrible! The sex was blah…. we are still cool though. Maybe that’s why…the sex was wack!

SexyCool

July 5th, 2011
10:39 am

When a single woman suddenly realizes she has an entire collection of guy friends, she probably will wonder, “Why aren’t I dating any of my amazing guy friends?!”

I don’t know any women who would ask themselves this particular question. Once a dude (and especially an entire collection of them) have been friend zoned, it is unusual to sift back through the whole lot of them trying to figure out why you’re not dating them. And really, it could be that they are not dating you.

Kellibean

July 5th, 2011
10:46 am

One of the things that my s/o loves about me is that I’m not a typical girly girl. I grew up with an older brother and his friends and learned to be “one of the guys.” Now, I can definitely clean up nicely, but I’m very low maintenance. He’s amazed that I’m not into shopping and make up and jewelry. I even got him into watching college football.

My feelings about dating a friend in the group…most relationships start out from being friends. It can be a big risk, but it can be worth it. You want to be friends with your partner, so it can make since to try to date a friend.

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
10:46 am

Exactly, kimmie. It’s way crazy when your guy friend includes his new gf and she’s sizing YOU up wondering where YOU fit in and if you’ve sampled her new man in the past.

I need my gfs to hang out with and do girl things with. I like to be silly, giggle, snicker, shop and people watch. Not many men like to do that (LOL).

@Lovely Brown ~ I didn’t get out of bed until 7:43. I’m suppose to be at work at 8:30. I need an hour to get ready in the morning. All that matters is I arrived before my boss so I’m good. :wink:

anonymousella

July 5th, 2011
10:47 am

if you’re like one of the guys, it’s probably because there is zero sexual chemistry between you and the dude(s) in question. zero. none. and y’all probably know too much about each other to make that work.

that’s why y’all ain’t trying to work something out. and i think it’s healthier that way. let them give you pro-tips on how to snag a man instead.

Into the Light

July 5th, 2011
10:54 am

Good morning, all! Hope everyone had a happy, if a bit soggy, holiday weekend.

On topic: Friends stay in the friend zone. Yes, sometimes there can be sexual tension or an attraction, but that’s to be expected. Kinda makes it more fun, if you ask me.

co-signing the others who said girls need girl time, and men need man time….

SexyCool

July 5th, 2011
10:55 am

Official Peachtree Time – 1:35:20 – a 15 minute improvement over last year.

kimmie

July 5th, 2011
10:59 am

anon – I agree, there is probably no chemistry there! I don’t remember it ever being any! The fact that one or more of those guys tried to get with me really meant nothing. I figured he was just being a man! I’m not a bad-looking sister, couldn’t blame him for trying!LOL! But hey, that didn’t mean he wanted to make me his girlfriend and eventually wife! If that’s what he wanted, we wanted, that’s what we would have done up front. I wouldn’t be “one of the guys” at all! Not to say we couldn’t have started as friends, but I doubt very seriously I would have been hanging with the boys!

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
11:00 am

Congrats, SC. For some reason, I thought this was your first P’tree race. My neighbor ran her first. She did it in over an hour and had nothing kind to say about some “killer hill” (lol).

kimmie

July 5th, 2011
11:01 am

SCool – Fabulous on the improvement! I give you mad respect for even doing it.

One day, one day!

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
11:03 am

The fact that one or more of those guys tried to get with me really meant nothing. I figured he was just being a man! I’m not a bad-looking sister, couldn’t blame him for trying! Exactly. K.I.M….

SexyCool

July 5th, 2011
11:04 am

Aaaahhh, Leggs – the infamous “Cardiac Hill” – we made it about halfway up before we conceded defeat. Funny thing is, no one but me, TheDude and my sister even ran that much of it when we took it on. They ALL were walking.

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
11:04 am

I use to say one day, one day. Now I simply say “not gonna happen.”

kimmie

July 5th, 2011
11:05 am

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
11:10 am

That’s it, “Cardiac Hill.” I heard some guy talking about the hill on the news, then my neighbor. Both said it was a “killer hill.” Cardiac Hill is even scarier.

Into the Light

July 5th, 2011
11:11 am

Congrats, SC!!!

Lovely Brown

July 5th, 2011
11:12 am

Congrats SC! That is so cool…… the only running I did this weekend was to refill my glass :lol:

SexyCool

July 5th, 2011
11:17 am

Atlanta has a lot of inclines and hills that kinda sneak up on you when you are out there on ‘em.

jw

July 5th, 2011
11:19 am

I think this is the reason – when you are one of the ‘guys’ – the guys may think you are attractive and date worthy – the problem is the fear of what happens to the group dynamics if you tell the guy NO WAY or if the relationship messes up – what happens to the group? I don’t think either person thinks in a positive way about the potential relationship.

Also, both of you are torn between the group dynamics and your relationship – unfortunately it causes you to have to choose between the group or the boyfriend/girlfriend. It’s a line the guy is afraid to cross – and when he does it has the potential to mess up the whole group. Very few men will cross that line, regardless of age. I would think from the woman’s point of view, what happens if the wrong one of the friends wants to date you – how do you tell them no without messing everything up –

That’s a tough situation – and one that may have folks scratching their heads in about 10 years wondering why they didn’t take that chance.

SexyCool

July 5th, 2011
11:21 am

There was/is not that much angst between my male friends and I. At the point, that it became clear to them that we were/are just friends, a lot of that other stuff just fell away.

SexyCool

July 5th, 2011
11:23 am

Correction – my male friends and ME (trying too hard….lol)

Into the Light

July 5th, 2011
11:27 am

(trying too hard….lol)

Plus, it’s technically Monday… :)

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
11:30 am

So guess what…we are pregnant again…already!

SexyCool

July 5th, 2011
11:32 am

Wow….Super-sp.erm.

Congratulations – maybe this time you will get a mini-Julia.

Into the Light

July 5th, 2011
11:33 am

WOW!! Congrats, to you and Mrs. Purp. :)

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
11:37 am

Well, I rather it be now than on done the road. Still don’t know how that happened so quickly, I don’t want a girl but anything healthy will be fine. She want’s it to be a girl, I don’t because I know I or Dante will be going to jail at some point. It’s to much to worry about having a girl.

SlimNumeroUno

July 5th, 2011
11:42 am

Thinking I had the chance to throw rotten eggs to the people that waited until midnight to start popping off a buffet of fireworks and guns last night

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
11:42 am

WHAT, PR!!!! Oh my…that is a hoot…Congratulations!

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
11:44 am

“Still don’t know how that happened so quickly” ~ you horny, alpha male jumped her bones and injected her with your super sperm! That’s how that happened!!!

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
11:45 am

Yeah, I guess I should be happy. I mean we already had one so what is one more? There is not any alone time with me and Jules now so might as well have another. I thought she was pulling my leg. WTF?

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
11:51 am

I am cracking up. I know this isn’t suppose to be funny, so I apologize.

SexyCool

July 5th, 2011
11:52 am

How’s the hay/straw(?) project going?

Celisea

July 5th, 2011
11:55 am

Morning,

Most people have a diverse bunch in their lives and for good reason. Every person shouldn’t be an “opportunity.” Live and let live. I don’t have a plethora of guy friends but I have a couple of die hards that will go through it with…if need be. Why would I ruin that? No frenemies necessary.

Congrats PR!! How about you sound a bit more enthused please??

SexyCool

July 5th, 2011
11:56 am

Every person shouldn’t be an “opportunity.”

^THIS should be shouted from mountaintops.

Lovely Brown

July 5th, 2011
11:58 am

Congrats PR!! How about you sound a bit more enthused please??

Co-sign

cba

July 5th, 2011
11:59 am

Congrats PR, man what are you feeding your tadpoles :lol:

Kudos to SC on the Peachtree…..I ran alot in my mid-twenties and early thirties, but never ran in the big one.

Into the Light

July 5th, 2011
11:59 am

co-signing Celisea’s 11:55 and SC’s 11:56

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
12:04 pm

I’ll co-sign as well, but I’m concerned about him already complaining about him and Julia not spending a lot of time together.

SexyCool

July 5th, 2011
12:05 pm

I didn’t see it as a complaint. Just an observation about reality.

Celisea

July 5th, 2011
12:09 pm

Welllll….they have SOME time together…obviously :)

SlimNumeroUno

July 5th, 2011
12:09 pm

Purp – Congrats!! I guess all that manly farm work has turned your little soldiers into SuperSperms. You considering the snip snip at all?

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
12:10 pm

I read it with a twinge of complaint.

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
12:10 pm

Sexy Cool, the floods did a number on us.
Celisea and Lovelybecause I’m the one who has to comfort her during the emotional and physical toll it puts on my wifes body due to it being high risk. We lost our first child during the second trimester. We tried again and had a healthy Dante, but she was worried the whole pregnancy and plenty of preventive doctor visits. So I’m not going to be overly happy right now..I have to get into mode and be there for my wife and her emotions and her worries. We are going to go for it…again but it is a long road

Celisea

July 5th, 2011
12:10 pm

Oh, and I loooove my guy friends….like brothers…anything on the other side of that is ewwwww…lol

Celisea

July 5th, 2011
12:13 pm

Pray for a safe delivery if it’s the will of God for another child to be born AND for the health (mental and physical) of Jules. We understand the toll it can have on you both. I’m going to wish you both all the best through now until the newest little one makes it.

Celisea

July 5th, 2011
12:13 pm

Now through the delivery of the newest little one…is what I meant

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
12:13 pm

Sorry to hear about all that worrying. Yes sir, you will definitely carry the brunt of it. The emotional and physical toll will be a bear. Bite the bullet and hopefully this pregnancy will not be as bad.

SlimNumeroUno

July 5th, 2011
12:20 pm

Purp – Well you know you always have us to sort of give you a small break from reality, even if it is a laugh here or there. Feel free to vent here when of if it becomes overwhelming. ;-)

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
12:53 pm

SexyCool

July 5th, 2011
12:54 pm

One of my gf’s who has been married 21 years has just been told by her husband that he may have a 22 year old son.

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
12:58 pm

Oh no! Dayum, that’s a helluva secret! Wait, when did he find out?

SexyCool

July 5th, 2011
1:00 pm

I don’t know all the details yet. But apparently, he found out recently as well. The mother sent him a letter in the mail.

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
1:02 pm

Dayum. Shame on the mother. Shame on her!!!!

Simple Man...

July 5th, 2011
1:03 pm

Damn…That kinda stuff happens more often than folks wanna admit…I have a friend from High school that has son born in the fall of 1986 to a girl that graduated with us…to thsi day he still does not know…..

SexyCool

July 5th, 2011
1:16 pm

Simple – if he’s a friend, how do you know and he doesn’t know? And…if he is a friend…as opposed to just a former classmate, why haven’t you told him?

kimmie

July 5th, 2011
1:18 pm

Purple Olive – Congrats! And after little Olivette is born, you & Julia be extra careful. Those few months after giving birth are EXTRA fertile! Why do you think it’s so many kids with sisters & brothers close in age? :lol:

But I feel you on the worry. One of my best friends lost her baby at 5 1/2 months back in 2009. She delivered a healthy boy last July, but she & her hubby worried thru out the entire pregnancy. They are thinking about going for another soon.

Simple – You are right, it happens QUITE a bit!

Lovely Brown

July 5th, 2011
1:20 pm

My husband has a brother that he did not know he had until he went to college…..ummm hello, I think I may be your brother WTH! :lol: They get along great now though. Happens more than people think.

kimmie

July 5th, 2011
1:20 pm

SCool – It’s probably not his place to tell, in case he is wrong.

I don’t know! :(

Into the Light

July 5th, 2011
1:21 pm

← munching on popcorn and enjoying today’s episode of As the Blog Turns…

Simple Man...

July 5th, 2011
1:21 pm

SCool…The girl use to live next door to me growing up and she and I have been and continue to be really tight. She went away to college after high school and gave birth in the place whe went to school. Her aunt and uncle adopted the son and have raised him since birth. Now the guy is cool with me…In fact, we are playing in a golf tourney on the 21 and 22nd together, but it has been 25 years….There are alot of lives tied up with this and I don’t see what can be gained from opening that can of worms

Into the Light

July 5th, 2011
1:23 pm

Maybe not now, Simp, but what about 25 years ago???

abc

July 5th, 2011
1:25 pm

There’s only one reason a man will keep so-called platonic company with a woman, and that’s to wait for a chance to hit it.

Now, tell me this: WHY would a man want to keep platonic company with a woman? You don’t have much of anything in common, chances are, simply due to gender differences. He doesn’t want to take you to the ball game, out to dinner, out boating at the lake, nothing, except in the hopes of hitting that booty. Otherwise, he’d be out with other men, people who could do the man thing, not having to temper everything for mixed company.

If you think you have actually platonic male friends, girls, you’re just kidding yourselves. Something tells me that you really know better.

SexyCool

July 5th, 2011
1:25 pm

Wow…that is a drama that just has so many levels.

Into the Light

July 5th, 2011
1:26 pm

Passing you the popcorn bowl, SC…

kimmie

July 5th, 2011
1:29 pm

Simple – Sounds like you are closer to her than you are him. I don’t blame you, I’d stay out of that.

Simple Man...

July 5th, 2011
1:32 pm

ITL, 25 years ago we were all kids…they made a huge mistake, but why was it my place to “run-tell-dat”??? And as the years have gone on, It had become apparent that everything worked as for the best…If there business has not hit the streets after all of these years, I wont be the one to put it there….

SexyCool

July 5th, 2011
1:35 pm

Simple’s position”

My name is Bennett and I ain’t in it.
My name is Fess and I ain’t in that mess.
(lol)

Simple Man...

July 5th, 2011
1:36 pm

Kimmie, right..She is closer but I still conside him a friend. Regardless, This is a case where sleeping dogs will be left alone…

kimmie

July 5th, 2011
1:38 pm

SCool – My name is Wess…..

Simple Man...

July 5th, 2011
1:39 pm

Would any of you have told?

SexyCool

July 5th, 2011
1:41 pm

Sticky situation. I don’t know. Hope I to never find myself in that situation.

Into the Light

July 5th, 2011
1:41 pm

Simple, I understand what you’re saying, and I don’t think it was your place to tell him.

What I wonder, though, is if the person whose place it is to tell refuses to, then does this man go through his life never knowing he has a son?? It sounds like the son grew up in a house where he was loved and wanted by two parents, but I wonder if he wonders about his biological father?

abc

July 5th, 2011
1:43 pm

I’d have told. The man has a right to know of his own children. To withhold the information deprives him of his own family, and likewise for the child, and for what purpose?

Into the Light

July 5th, 2011
1:46 pm

It’s a mess, to be sure. And I wouldn’t want to betray her friendship. But, the man has a right to know that he has a child. I’m not sure how I would handle it…probably would speak with him and tell him he needed to have a serious discussion with her.

kimmie

July 5th, 2011
1:49 pm

Simple – I guess I’ve seen too much Maury. Too many times things can go wrong with paternity. It still could not be your friend’s child. Especially with the way it was handled, I would have considered it a family matter that I had no place in getting involved with. The most I may have done is tried to convince the girl to tell the guy.

Getting up in stuff like that can get folks killed.

The closest situation I’ve known like that involved a guy I dated. He was in the Air Force stationed in Fla and was seeing a lady there. He got stationed overseas, but some of his buddies told him he needed to come back and take a look at his lady. Yep, she was preggers and was not going to tell him, since he didn’t want to get married.

Into the Light

July 5th, 2011
1:53 pm

COMPLETELY OFF TOPIC: Casey Anthony verdict today at 2:15….

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
1:54 pm

Let’s flip the topic to “Just one of the girls” as a man. LOL

abc

July 5th, 2011
1:56 pm

Frankly, this makes me think that Simple Man is simply not, like that guy last week. A man would tell another man, and not withhold information like that out of loyalty for the girl next door. I mean, what what?

Say it ain’t so. This joint is getting weirder.

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
1:58 pm

Yes if you have a friend I think it’s bad business to keep something of that magnitude from him…but different strokes for different folks.

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
2:01 pm

Wanted to thank all of you for answering SimpleM all the “why didn’t he tell his friend” in advance. Ok, let me go back to reading…

kimmie

July 5th, 2011
2:04 pm

I got a feeling it’s a whole lot more to the story. Not as cut & dried as what’s presented here. It’s probably some major info all the parties involved know. It always is.

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
2:04 pm

Simple Man, what would you do if the situation was reversed? You find out that you had a kid born in 1986 and one of your friends knew and did not tell you?

Simple Man...

July 5th, 2011
2:05 pm

ABC..so I gotta be Mcwifey cause I can stay in my lane right? It was some isht that did not involve me, and I continue to make the choice not to play turn peoples lives upside down over a matter that has long since been burried. That, my friend, is not a part of the code….

Mr_NYC

July 5th, 2011
2:06 pm

I’m with your Purp. What’s up everybody.
All this talk about being one of the guys. Any folks out there tryin to be one of the girls?

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
2:09 pm

SimpleM didn’t deprive him of knowing his family, the mother did!

abc

July 5th, 2011
2:09 pm

Like I said, NYC, ain’t no such thing. Why would a man want to be ‘one of the girls’, any more than a man would want a woman to be ‘one of the guys’? It doesn’t make sense. A guy’s motivation would only be to wait for a chance to smack that azz, and I think chicks know that, at least on some level.

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
2:10 pm

When keeping your mouth shut is wrong examples: Family/Friends secrets, every knows not to leave “Uncle Bob” around the children because he has molested a few of them. Nobody ever says anything, they just keep the kids from around him now. That is bad business, he should be locked up. Simple Man, me personally if the guy were any type of friend to me I would have let him know, but now since you have kept it to yourself for so long…you might as well keep it to yourself.

Simple Man...

July 5th, 2011
2:12 pm

Kimmie, It really is just that simple. He was the football star, she was the nice quite girl. He caught her one weekend shortly before we graduated and she came up preggers. She was accepted to school at Auburn and went there. When she found out, Her parents, her aunt and uncle and her made a choice…He went off to Grambling and started his life, she went through with the pregnancy and her aunt and uncle adaopted the kid and raised him. The Guy is fine, two kids with his ex wife, The girl is great. Divorced, Living a great life, happy, son is doing well, grew up love and content. And Purp, I would want to know,,,but would not blame and outside person for not telling me….

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
2:15 pm

Simple Man, that’s cool. I am not judging, every man has his own code.

SexyCool

July 5th, 2011
2:16 pm

I’m sure that if/when/if it ever comes to light, you and he won’t be cool anymore.

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
2:18 pm

Sexy Cool, I agree. That would make me question the whole friendship.

SlimNumeroUno

July 5th, 2011
2:20 pm

So far Not Guilty verdicts for the more serious charges….only for providing false info to law enforcement agency….to be continued

abc

July 5th, 2011
2:21 pm

The man has a son and he’ll never know it. His supposed friend won’t tell him. That’s definitely a chick’s move: lies and deceit in the name of sparing somebody’s feelings. Nobody has the right to deprive a man of his own flesh and blood, nor a child knowledge of his own father. And now, imagine the damage it would cause everyone involved were the truth to come out.

But, the truth should come out. Lies are never worth it.

Celisea

July 5th, 2011
2:22 pm

On Simple Man’s issue….I think it was just dang selfish. Make a mistake and sweep it under the rug. This is sort of what I was talking about Friday. Folks make mistakes doing the grown up….NOT THE END OF THE WORLD….and rather than make the best out of a bad situation, nope we take a bandaid and give the baby to someone else to raise….but that ain’t the question though is it?

Anyway, I wouldn’t tell now but Idda hammered her conscious and talked about that thing daily or as long as we remained friends. Nobody thinks about how the child will be effected. A child has a right to know their parents. So I guess all is well now. I hope she’s having sleepness nights for not raising a child. If she had already headed off to college, she could have raised her child.

Would I tell now? Don’t know. The ONLY reason I wouldn’t is because so much time has passed.

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
2:22 pm

Oh my goodness!!! Casey Anthony has been found NOT GUILTY. Unbelieveable. Her only GUILTY offense is that of lying to law enforcement!!!!!

Celisea

July 5th, 2011
2:23 pm

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG….say it ain’t so….NOT GUILTY! Jesus

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
2:26 pm

I guess there are different versions of friends for some. Simple Man, have you ever had relations with that woman? Also, weren’t you the guy who called the cops on some dude who was at a girl you liked house too? LOL Bad move bro, you should have not kept that secret. You said you would want to know so just treat people how you want to be treated. Did it eat you up holding that in?

kimmie

July 5th, 2011
2:27 pm

If someone offered me a million dollars I could not tell you anything about the Casey Anthony case!

SexyCool

July 5th, 2011
2:28 pm

Where can we find justice for that child?

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
2:29 pm

Your justice system at work. That’s just the way it works, some are found guilty and are not. Some are found not guilty and are guilty. We will never know for sure if she did it or not. Just like that wife who ran away, everyone had the husband killing her…but she was alive and well.

Simple Man...

July 5th, 2011
2:31 pm

So ABC, at what point is he responsible for his actions??? He hit it raw and dropped teh load…It was on him as it is all of us to keep out isht in check. Now the Chick move would have been running back and not being able to hold water. There stuff is on them…Not for me to get in teh middle of. He has never come to me and asked, so I feel no obligation to run like a 10 year old girl screaming ” I know a secret”…

SexyCool

July 5th, 2011
2:36 pm

He can’t be responsible for something he doesn’t know about.

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
2:37 pm

Simple, you being agitated by what abc is saying is kind of showing that you feel bad for not letting your friend know. The chick move, which the chick did was not telling the man he had a son. Maybe I missed it but how did you find out it was his kid? Did the person who told you ask you to keep it quiet?

abc

July 5th, 2011
2:41 pm

Incredible. Honestly, it’s hard to believe the story, Simple Man.

Of course he’d never ask you about it, how could he possibly suspect? What would make it enter his mind? If he’s your friend, why would he assume you had such knowledge and not tell him? He should be held responsible for lack of support for a child that he still doesn’t have knowledge of, 25 years later? That’s like a psychopath’s answer to the question “why did you kill him with that hammer?” “I didn’t kill him, the hammer did.” Guns don’t kill people, people kill people. Get it?

Why do you bring up the matter on the blog? Are you not running like a 10 year old girl screaming “I know a secret”? Tell the man of his own son. You have no right to withhold that kind of information. Just my opinion.

czBrat

July 5th, 2011
2:41 pm

popping in to see what i’ve missed and i get kicked in the gut with this news about the anthony verdict. and i fully believe the defense attorneys think they’ve done their job. smdh.

now what’s all this about deep, dark, potentially damaging secrets?

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
2:45 pm

Canal Zone, the defense attorneys did their job. It’s a rough business. But nobody can say 100% that she did do it. God knows, if she did she will not go unpunished.

Simple Man...

July 5th, 2011
2:45 pm

Purp, Not aggitated at all..just laying out the facts…and no, I never was never involved with her. But like I said we grew up next door to each other. I have known her since i was like 5 or 6 years old. I found out when teh kid was maybe 5 or so…Went to her Grandfathers funeral and The kid looked JUST LIKE oh boy. Sometime afterward we were talking and I happened to mention the resemblance… She kinda broke down and told me teh story. Again, I did not then and do not now feel it is my place to tell anybody anything…her heavy heart belongs to her..His blindness belongs to him….

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
2:48 pm

You took the words out of my mouth SC (2:36).

She teared up and heaved a little when they read Not Guilty. She hasn’t shown any emotion throught the dang trial (well not in front of the jury). She’s all smily smily when they’re away. The entire family is sick, but she lacks remorse. It’s crazy to have little to no feelings about the death of your child!

SlimNumeroUno

July 5th, 2011
3:00 pm

The laws of man may not provide justice for the kid but she still has to stand trial for the Bigger Court at some point….unless of course she becomes remorseful and actually feel any tinge of wrongness, guilt or whatever in her heart…Not to be determined or judged by us common folk.

RIP little one

czBrat

July 5th, 2011
3:02 pm

i could get scriptural, but this is probably not the venue for it. suffice to say that man’s justice system will never be perfect.

reign, you’re right. i meant to say that the defense will think they’ve done a GOOD job by getting her off.

btw … how are ya? how’s the fam?

Simple Man...

July 5th, 2011
3:02 pm

Anybody think she may really be not guilty?

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
3:03 pm

Beyond Reasonable Doubt is something isn’t it?

Celisea

July 5th, 2011
3:06 pm

Well, I take solice in knowing the Almighty has the last say so. She can skip into the sunset but if she did it she’s going to pay…..no doubt. I agree, the justice system ain’t perfect because we have humans behind the machine.

I’m just happy the little one is a sleeping angel

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
3:06 pm

Canal, I am fine we are fine. How are you? Yes, the Big Man has the ultimate say so, I can’t judge anyone. Yet another reason I am happy I am not eligible for jury duty(but I can vote). LOL

Simple Man, Honestly I don’t know if she is guilty or not. I have seen in real life and in the Bible cases of where all of the evidence pointed at someone being guilty and in reality it was the exact opposite. So once again I defer judgement and will say “God knows what he is doing in all situations”

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
3:08 pm

“….unless of course she becomes remorseful and actually feel any tinge of wrongness, guilt or whatever in her heart…”

You don’t really mean this do you ↑ Have we’ve been watching the same trial (lolol).

PR has some news for you czB.

Celisea

July 5th, 2011
3:08 pm

And even so (being found guilty), if she did it God saw the whole thing, it’s on her to tell the truth. I didn’t say I expected that because she plead “not guilty” but those are the things that will set you right with the Almighty. She had her chance (of she’s guilty), she hid it but the truth ain’t gone nowhere.

Celisea

July 5th, 2011
3:08 pm

not guilty I meant

SexyCool

July 5th, 2011
3:12 pm

Well, I, for one, am glad that the trial is over. Hopefully, it will end Nancy Grace’s rude ass domination of GMA as she bulldozes all over George and Dan. She grates on all my nerves. One thing that was funny – she kept calling Casey “Top Mom.”

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
3:14 pm

Sexy Cool, Nancy Grace show did not get renwed I read somewhere. I am surprise nobody has tried to “get rid” of her yet.

czBrat

July 5th, 2011
3:15 pm

good to be among spiritual folk :) yes, leggs, even her heart can be moved and changed and brought to face her sins. same as the rest of us really. honestly, i’m saddened by the verdict, but i realize it was never my call to have expected punishment for that young woman. i don’t know the nth of what God knows, so let me keep watch on my own actions and continue to pray for us all.

c’mon reign, whatcha got for me?

SexyCool

July 5th, 2011
3:17 pm

P-Lito – I only had an idea of who she was prior to now. I have never watched her show. Seeing her on GMA makes me want to kick my television screen in.

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
3:18 pm

Canal Zone, I had a baby in 1986 and never knew about it. My good friend did not tell me someone else did…but yet he knew.

Celisea

July 5th, 2011
3:18 pm

She’s a bulldog on her show. I can’t watch much of her.

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
3:19 pm

Sexy Cool, I hate her voice, hate her style and hate her show. I always change the channel when she is on.

Celisea

July 5th, 2011
3:22 pm

There’s a “Death of Caylee Anthony” Wikipedia page.

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
3:23 pm

@SexyC/PR ~ exactly. Her show did not get renewed. SexyC, yes ma’am. She is/was a loud mouth, egotistical lawyer who thinks she’s smarter than everyone else. I’m surprised she found someone to marry her and father children with her.

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
3:24 pm

Leggs, her first fiance was murdered. Maybe that caused her to be how she is now.

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
3:26 pm

@czB ~ that’s NOT the news he’s going to tell you. Awwww fugggettabtit, go see 11:37.

I didn’t know that, PR. Stoicism really fascinates me.

czBrat

July 5th, 2011
3:28 pm

her first fiance was murdered … was that confirmed by autopsy and a thorough investigation? cuz i could kinda see dude taking himself out to avoid going through with those nuptials.

ya’ll are hilarious! and here i thought i was being way too hard on old gal cuz i couldn’t make myself sit through her tirades. LOL

SlimNumeroUno

July 5th, 2011
3:30 pm

You don’t really mean this do you ↑ Have we’ve been watching the same trial

Leggs – I was saying she MAY have some change of heart even though I don’t see that happening in the forseeable future. She has a certain arrogance about her…maybe she knew all along which helped her remain so cold or removed…for lack of a better word

Simple Man...

July 5th, 2011
3:31 pm

Oh Damn Purp…Your 3:18 is killing me!!!

czBrat

July 5th, 2011
3:33 pm

my goodness, reign. you do know it’s easier (and cheaper) to just hire farm help in this economy, right?

i kid. much love and blessings to all four of you! i’m beaming right along with you right now … =D

Into the Light

July 5th, 2011
3:34 pm

Agree on the Nancy Grace comments. She definitely has a superiority complex.

BTW, SC, she calls Casey “tot mom”….

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
3:35 pm

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
3:35 pm

@SlimNU ~ I knew what you were saying. Anything is certainly possible, but she’s heartless. Her just desserts will be served in due time. In due time….

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
3:36 pm

I had this berry flavored vodka yesterday with cranberry juice…I want one right now!!!

Into the Light

July 5th, 2011
3:37 pm

Sounds good, Leggs. We were drinking lemonade vodka (made by the same folks that do the sweet tea vodka). YUM YUM YUM!!!

SexyCool

July 5th, 2011
3:40 pm

Still funny…

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
3:41 pm

Are you all forgeting she was proven not guilty as a murderer, so she may not be getting any just desserts. Stop calling her a murderer 7 women and 5 men all agreed that she is not and they have more facts than we do.

Into the Light

July 5th, 2011
3:43 pm

Agree, SC. Although Top Mom would have been funnier.

Simple Man...

July 5th, 2011
3:44 pm

Co-signing on Purps 3:41….

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
3:44 pm

If anything be upset with the Jurors.

kimmie

July 5th, 2011
3:49 pm

Leggs – Sounds wonderful. Do you like moscato wine? Villa Alena is a sparkling moscato that is wonderful. I got some at Trader Joes and I believe Publix once.

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
3:58 pm

Do I like Moscato wine! YES! A sparkling Moscato. I must try that. Thanks for the tip

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
3:58 pm

She is about to be rich now though, movies, books and talk shows. Maybe she can be Sarah Palin’s running mate.

SlimNumeroUno

July 5th, 2011
3:59 pm

Well, as a juror you’re suppose to remove all emotional ‘rationale, and go off facts alone. So Purp does have a point…if evidence was not provided to convict her of murder WITHOUT any doubt, then there you have it…

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
4:17 pm

Slim, you are right. Emotions are not facts.

Into the Light

July 5th, 2011
4:20 pm

@Slim and Purp – that’s EXACTLY the point one of the court analysts was making last week. He said the defense’s closing argument would include something like, “no matter what you think of her as a mother or as a person, you must separate that from the evidence you have been given.”

Guess it worked.

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
4:35 pm

I cannot keep my eyes open and I don’t want to go get a cup of coffee……zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Into the Light

July 5th, 2011
4:35 pm

Um, hello?????

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
4:36 pm

I’m flashing over here ITL, give me a minute~

Purple Rain

July 5th, 2011
4:39 pm

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
4:40 pm

Whew that’s over….hello ITL (lol). I’m with you, guess most went for their power naps.

SlimNumeroUno

July 5th, 2011
4:40 pm

I is still herrrr….for another 20 minutes

Simple Man...

July 5th, 2011
4:41 pm

Did Leggs say she was flashing????

Into the Light

July 5th, 2011
4:44 pm

Uh oh, Leggs. PR and Simple are looking for small bills to stuff in the cat suit. LOL

Into the Light

July 5th, 2011
4:49 pm

Power nap sounds sooooo good.

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
4:49 pm

Oh snap! Hot flashes, LOL! Too funny.

Into the Light

July 5th, 2011
4:51 pm

LOL! I think the guys are going to be disappointed. Good thing Swiss is not here…I’d hate to see a grown man cry. :)

Gloria Allred

July 5th, 2011
4:52 pm

Purp I agree she is not a murder, but she IS a SLUT – per her Attorney of course. She will be delt with in the court of public opinion.

Still Got it or Denial

July 5th, 2011
4:55 pm

When is too old too old?
When does one cross the line?
Does one stop saying you’re as young as you feel and wake-up to see they’re an old fool?
How old is too old?

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
4:55 pm

This is hysterical, ITL. But, you’re probably right.

@Gloria Allred ~ that would be “dealt.” Couldn’t resist given your highly respectable rep u tation.

Still Got it or Denial

July 5th, 2011
4:58 pm

Does rose colored glasses reflect hagdom?

Leggs

July 5th, 2011
5:02 pm

Prayer is not a “spare wheel” that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a “steering wheel” that directs the right path.

PEACE!

LeeH1

July 5th, 2011
8:44 pm

You are either a member of the pack or prey. If the guys don’t have a predator in the group, you can usually be pretty comfortable around the men. But if one of them is a predator, then the group dynamics will change.

Until then, the men will accept a woman as an equal in their group, as long as you can keep up with the rest of the pack. Try to be the pack leader, and they will slash your throat out in competition.

Also, a group of men with a woman member no longer works when a second woman comes on stage. Once the women compete to be the alpha female, the men respond, either by seduction or leaving you or the pack.

Think of young boys in a Cub Scout Den. The dynamics are not much different.

Beautiful

July 5th, 2011
11:45 pm