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Archive for July, 2011

Your dating duty: Tell the truth

I have always thought that one of the toughest things about dating is not really getting feedback when things don’t work out. A lot of us are walking around completely oblivious to the reason why we are running people off.

While all of our egos may be safely intact, we don’t get a chance to address any personal growth issues that may need to dealt with. Things like having a temper, poor communication issues, bad kisser, or worse, bad bedroom etiquette – can all be problematic.

So is it our duty and obligation to be more honest with the people we meet, date, and er dump? Would it be helpful to hear the truth about ourselves? Could you tell a person they were bad in bed?

What do you think would happen if we would “stop being polite, and start getting real” in the real world of dating?

Has anyone ever told you the cold hard truth? Did you handle it well or did it invoke a bad reaction?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Your dating duty: Tell the truth »

Is living together like marriage?

One of my friends recently broke up with her long term boyfriend. They had been living together for years and she is having a hard time with the break up.

She said that they had merged their lives so much, it feels like she is going through a divorce. From finances to owning a pet together, untangling their lives is pretty painful.

While I won’t take away from her pain, I wondered if leaving a live-in situation could be compared to a marriage. Is living together that much like a marriage?

Does it have the same pros and cons? When a couple is “playing house” are they enjoying the benefits of marriage without the big commitment?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Is living together like marriage? »

Dating Mr. Serious: Dude, chill

My new guy/beau is a little on the high strung side. I think he likes the fact that I encourage – ok force- him to relax and enjoy the time we spend together.

I have a really silly, playful side at times and I love to laugh and have fun when I’m on a date. During our first few outings, I admit I was ready to deuce him out! He is making an effort to chill out but I get the sense that he has never really let himself unwind and have fun that much before.

It is kind of fun and interesting to watch him explore the simple
things that relaxes him! What do you do to unwind? Have you found that the serious/intense people you date often are the most fun to be around once they kick back?

What is the most relaxing and laid back date you have had?

On a semi-related sidebar: Why does it seem as if some men don’t want to outwardly express happiness or feelings of content. It’s actually difficult to determine when you are happy in our presence sometimes! What gives?

Continue reading Dating Mr. Serious: Dude, chill »

Relationships with expiration dates

I’m just at a loss of what to say to women who still believe that great sex is enough to keep a man. I think it is one of those situations that people have to experience before they get it.

The reality is it’s easy to entertain, like, and be enamored with one another when your clothes are off. That’s actually the easier part in a lot of ways!

What happens when your clothes are back on and you start to realize that outside the bedroom, you actually don’t connect in other ways?

Let me give you a hint: Tick. Tock. That’s the timer ticking to down to the demise of the relationship.

It’s not just because orgasms aren’t enough to keep two people interested. It takes more. A lot more. Especially if you want more.

Sure the amazing bedroom trysts will be a shiny new toy you can’t stop playing with – but the novelty wears off. What do you think it takes to sustain a relationship without expiration dates?

Don’t you think it rather… interesting.. that sex alone can’t sustain a …

Continue reading Relationships with expiration dates »

Mate debate: Can we find everything we want?

I’m not a big fan of dating checklists. I think they end up becoming an excuse not to give perfectly good candidates a real chance. I think we all have our preferences, and we definitely know what grabs our attention. I have to wonder though, how does that all come in to play when we actually meet the person who is ideal for us?

Do you think the person you really want and desiwav can have everything you ever wanted in a mate? Imagine the traits, character, looks, and even the body of your “Dream” mate. Would they want to be with you? Would you be a good match for them?

Do you think the people we are looking for actually exist? Would we recognize them right away or would we miss out because they don’t look/sound/behave the way we expected?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Mate debate: Can we find everything we want? »

Friends don’t let friends cheat

I recently read an article about a groom to be who hooked up with a stripper at his bachelor party. Apparently, it was suggested/cheered on/witnessed by his friends to have one final romp. I thought about what kind of predicament the man found himself in and almost felt bad for the guy. Almost.

I mean if he stood his ground and said no, absolutely not, what is the worst that would have happened? He would have been clowned and maybe endure a few jokes about it. In my female and totally logical mind (ha), that is a small price to pay.

I am curious as to why people encourage someone to cheat on their mates. If you decide on your own, that’s one thing. Why go out of your way and prod a friend to do the same?
It may seem like this happens among males more but I think females are guilty of it just as much.

Do you think too many of us encourage, support, and condone infidelity?

When you are dating someone, do you ask them if they have ever cheated or been unfaithful? Do …

Continue reading Friends don’t let friends cheat »

Is their home life a mystery?

One of our readers would like some advice about a new romance she is in. They have been on at least 4 dates and they met Memorial Day weekend. She has had him over to her place and he even met some of her friends. However, he has been a little less inclined to share his home life with her.

She has not seen where he lives, nor does he talk about his personal life that much. Obviously, it makes her uneasy because she is starting to think he is concealing something or someone. Do you think it is a red flag if you don’t get invited over to someone’s place?

It is possible that he is a private person. How quickly do you let people in – so to speak?

When do you introduce the person you are dating to friends and family? Do you wait until you are in an exclusive relationship?

What would you do if the person you are interested in is too mysterious for you? Do you snoop and do your own digging or cut your losses at the “shady” behavior?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta …

Continue reading Is their home life a mystery? »

Dating news: Men like getting asked out!?

Earlier this week, we talked about whether or not women should date more like men. Ladies, if you ever wonder what men go through on the dating scene, try approaching a perfect stranger.

In my experience, approaching a man can be exciting, terrifying, and empowering (assuming he doesn’t find you repulsive or crazy) – all at once. I don’t do it often enough, but I really should!

The men I know are genuinely surprised and happy to have a woman approach them – compliment them. Oh, asking when you can see him again? Apparently, it’s one of those ego stroking things that some men really enjoy. A lot. Not unlike how women feel when we get asked out!

Do you think living in the south, women are less inclined to approach a man? Friends in other cities say that women don’t have much apprehension about it like us “girls raised in the south” and maybe this is an obstacle in dating.

When a woman approaches a man, does it really seem desperate? Does it depend on how she delivers her …

Continue reading Dating news: Men like getting asked out!? »

Relationship debate: It’s just a fantasy!

It can really fun and enlightening hanging around people who have been married or together for a really long time. I caught quite an earful when the topic of fantasies came up at a dinner party recently. There seemed to be a debate about whether they are healthy or if they can be dangerous.

I was surprised to find that while a few of the men supported their women having fantasies about other men – they just don’t want to hear about it. Ever.

Of course, being the “chatty” talk about everything type, the women over shared the fantasy details. That’s right, ladies…it’s all fun and games, until you start yammering away about who you were really thinking about when you were with him.

If you have been married or in a long term relationship, did you ever indulge in sharing your fantasies? Do you think having a fantasy is like the gateway drug to cheating? Is it something that should be handled delicately?

Should you keep your fantasies about other people to yourself? Could …

Continue reading Relationship debate: It’s just a fantasy! »

Should women date like men?

I was listening to a song the other day, called Do It Like A Dude. It was by the singer Jessie J and the lyrics – and video – are quite hilarious. I thought how silly it would be if women behaved as men. No offense to the gentleman folk but I am not sure I could ever carry on like you do.

When it comes to dating, I can be dude-like in some instances, though. I know a lot of men who don’t rush a dating relationship. I am the type that takes it super slow, and I don’t usually get clingy with the men I date.

What would happen if more women dated like men, though? Would it be a good thing for some, bad thing for others?

Could some men stand to date like a woman?

What dating or relationship habits/behaviors do you think we could benefit from adopting from the opposite sex?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Should women date like men? »