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I’d love you jobless!

I used to listen to the soundtrack for the film Best Man incessantly. I especially loved Lauryn Hill’s (*ahem* Miss Hill) remake of Turn Your Lights Down Low. This was before my intense Bob Marley phase, so I was unsure of the actual lyrics of the song.

For the longest time, I thought “I’d love you jobless” was being sung. I know, how weird right? Who would put that in a song?!

To be honest, I think I could love a jobless man. I don’t know if that makes me a romantic or slightly naive. Am I silly to think that love can conquer a 9.2% jobless rate? Perhaps!

I’m not saying it would be a cake walk, of course. I just believe it is something we can work on and get through together. That is what grown ups do right?

Recently, Forbes Women and Your Tango surveyed women – asking
if they would marry an unemployed man, 75% said they would not. Although, I don’t know if unemployed men who have marriage as their immediate goal.

What do you think? With our modern attitudes about relationships, money, and power, do we still want the traditional male provider?

Is it about being a financial provider or is it about contributing to the relationship? I know plenty of men dating and marrying unemployed women. Are men more at ease with the idea of an unemployed partner?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

P.S. It’s my birthday, y’all!

374 comments Add your comment

Celisea

June 28th, 2011
3:17 pm

And yet still, I wouldn’t take care of him either. I’d be his support and pound the pavement (internet) with him in looking but I would still possess the need to exercise common sense. That’s if is a dude I’m well into relations or married to. Not a new guy. No job, no getting off the ground.

kimmie

June 28th, 2011
3:18 pm

Okay 4 Real! :lol:

Just because a dude is unemployed that doesn’t mean his is without character.

Who on here said otherwise? Everything you said sounds lovely. But when you become a woman and are faced with things other than character to consider when choosing a mate for life, let us know. I’ve known some really nice guys with wonderful character that still were not marriage material, at least not for me.

I’m too old to prescribe to the “love will pay the bills” mentality.

chink

June 28th, 2011
3:21 pm

4Real

lacking character. Which lead to his irresponsible behavior. Just because a dude is unemployed that doesn’t mean his is without character.

I likes this

chink

June 28th, 2011
3:23 pm

But I still agree with the girls ….

Celisea

June 28th, 2011
3:25 pm

Oh Lawd, please don’t go find a dude and allow him to hang on, all unemployed and equate something good or funny he does to possessing character…lol Just saying

chink

June 28th, 2011
3:29 pm

Umm Celisea I haven’t changed my mind ..

SexyCool

June 28th, 2011
3:30 pm

The only charming, unemployed dudes with character that I know are a screen – movie, tv – take your pick.

For Real

June 28th, 2011
3:30 pm

“I take it you believe a man can possess character and remain unemployed as a result living off someone?” – That’s what you take my meaning of character to be? Yet, you go on and describe character to include “keeping a job”. How can you take distort my meaning of character so, when I said character should be your basis for selecting a husband and then stated that the unemployed bum dude that Kimmie described was lacking of character? That would be irrational of me.

SexyCool

June 28th, 2011
3:34 pm

ON a screen.

kimmie

June 28th, 2011
3:40 pm

character should be your basis for selecting a husband

How can you tell someone what their basis for selecting a husband should be?

The practicalities of life are not pretty, but they have to be taken care of. Not even allowing one, like earning a liveable wage, to give you pause before you make a serious committment to someone, would in my mind be irrational. But that’s me.

No need in complaining months down the road when dude still has not found a job and isn’t contributing anything to the household. Or if you are dating Miss unemployed and she can’t pick up the check sometimes or leave a tip when you two go out.

Celisea

June 28th, 2011
3:43 pm

Chink – I gotcha

For Real – Not changing what I said. For selecting any mate…for me character is first and foremost. If you breakdown what that is, “gainfully employed” will be high up on the list. Not for me. I work and provide for myself but if a man ain’t standing on his own, his needs are the same as any other living thriving human, he’s leaning on someone else. Yeah, a dude that lives off a anybody (including the system) or loses his job and does nothing or makes no reak effort to get back in the game is trifling. No, I would not marry a dude that’s not working. Period…point blank. I was always talk that a man (person) that won’t work will steal. I believe. I have to have provisions to survive so before I step to any cashier I better be prepared to pay.

I guess then we should all go to grocery stores and restaurants and pay with character?

Celisea

June 28th, 2011
3:44 pm

told..not talk

chink

June 28th, 2011
3:47 pm

we should all go to grocery stores and restaurants and pay with character…hehehe

Celisea

June 28th, 2011
3:47 pm

Soooo, we take his character and run to the alter? Okay, that’s all dandy and good. Imma mail in a check made of character to the mortgage company, electric company, gas company, insurance company, the bank. No worries, this will clear off character? No job necessary….we got character (while holding a check up to my chick and grinning like a chesire cat)!

Celisea

June 28th, 2011
3:47 pm

cheek not chick…sorry

Sassy Me...Pretty Young Thing :-)

June 28th, 2011
3:48 pm

Alright now Celisea you gone make me break out the collection plate…preach on sista…that 3:43 was a great point..

Celisea

June 28th, 2011
3:49 pm

altar not alter…I was typing fast as my thoughts popped up.

chink

June 28th, 2011
3:50 pm

Too Funny!!

Being jobless is not funny but the use of character as a sub is hilarious!!

Celisea

June 28th, 2011
3:51 pm

Sassy :)

chink – Exactly…where do they think of this stuff?

For Real

June 28th, 2011
3:52 pm

Kimmie: Now I’m trying to wait until after your honeymoon but my smartassness is starting to itch. With that being said, can you explain exactly what things are exclusively faced by woman in choosing a mate? Let me help you none!!!
“I’ve known some really nice guys with wonderful character that still were not marriage material, at least not for me.” – This doesn’t prove your point because there are several dudes from your past that can make the same claim about you.

Perhaps I should have used integrity instead of character. Oh and let me define it just in Celisea… I mean case.
1) an unimpaired condition, i.e., soundness, wholeness 2) firm adherence to a code of moral values, i.e., incorruptible, honor, 3) the quality or state of being complete or undivided, i.e., completeness. Synonyms of integrity are honesty and unity.

“The only charming, unemployed dudes with character that I know are a screen – movie, tv – take your pick.” – Be careful that charming, unemployed dude could be lay next to you one day.

Simple Man

June 28th, 2011
3:52 pm

Characters welcome!! ( LOL ) :)

Celisea

June 28th, 2011
3:54 pm

For Real – I’ll take integrity in place of character…they’re one in the same…..alongside being gainfully employed. If you’re swapping words but the point and basis didn’t change, that means you’re still missing the point.

Celisea

June 28th, 2011
3:55 pm

Oh and let me define it just in Celisea… I mean case.

funny

SexyCool

June 28th, 2011
3:57 pm

And I am fully confident that should that be the case, that the decisions that he had made/is making now and the actions that he has taken/is taking now will leave him well able to continue to meet his responsbilities to our household while I “stand in the gap.”

Besides, our household finances are set up to be well covered with one income anyway.

Plus…he has character. :)

Celisea

June 28th, 2011
3:58 pm

For Real – You got a job?

Sassy Me...Pretty Young Thing :-)

June 28th, 2011
3:58 pm

oh damn now where is assy 1 when we having dictionary time?..

Into the Light

June 28th, 2011
4:01 pm

LOL@SassyMe. I miss the assy 1…..

For Real

June 28th, 2011
4:03 pm

I thought we agreed that there is a difference between an unemployed man and an unemployed bum. If so, why are yall on focusing on the unemployed bum? Let me be clear, I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT AN UNEMPLOYED BUM!!!!

Kimmie: You overlooked “basis” in my post.

Chink: “Being jobless is not funny but the use of character as a sub is hilarious!!” – You are putting words in mouth. When did say character was sub for a job. My point is simple, a man of character will honor his responsibilities even when he is unemployed.

kimmie

June 28th, 2011
4:03 pm

This doesn’t prove your point because there are several dudes from your past that can make the same claim about you.

4 Real – I’m not trying to prove a point, to you or anyone else. All the dudes from my PAST can make that claim, actually, because none of them married me. And they are in my past, so I could care less what their claim is now about me.

To each his/her own. I can’t tell anyone what they need to look for in a mate. And I’m not skipping thru the daisies and believing in fairytales like a 6 year old.

Sassy Me...Pretty Young Thing :-)

June 28th, 2011
4:04 pm

Don’t worry ITL…we’re sure assy 1 is a recycled regular…

For Real

June 28th, 2011
4:04 pm

“Plus…he has character.” – I know cause you learnt.

“For Real – You got a job?” – Yep!!

Celisea

June 28th, 2011
4:05 pm

‘Cause if not, you know this is not a personal attack against you or your charater right? Just checking :) and NO not trying to be funny.

SlimNumeroUno

June 28th, 2011
4:05 pm

oh damn now where is assy 1 when we having dictionary time?

:lol: :lol: Good one SassyMe – Looks like she’s skipping class again.

Celisea

June 28th, 2011
4:06 pm

oh damn now where is assy 1 when we having dictionary time?..

LOL…I bet s/he’s lurking

For Real

June 28th, 2011
4:08 pm

“To each his/her own. I can’t tell anyone what they need to look for in a mate. And I’m not skipping thru the daisies and believing in fairytales like a 6 year old.” – What???? So, because I said character should be a basis for choosing a mate. You believe I’m telling everyone what they NEED to look for in a mate and now according YOU character is a fairytale? Flavor-Flav WOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Oh and for the record you can tell everyone what to look. They just don’t have to listen.

Into the Light

June 28th, 2011
4:09 pm

COMPLETELY OFF TOPIC: Y’all got big plans for the holiday weekend?

For Real

June 28th, 2011
4:09 pm

Good one Sassy.

For Real

June 28th, 2011
4:12 pm

‘Cause if not, you know this is not a personal attack against you or your charater right? Just checking :) and NO not trying to be funny.” – Never take it personal and that was funny.

SexyCool

June 28th, 2011
4:13 pm

ITL – Me, TheDude, his bestie, his brother, his sister and my sister are running…cough walking the Peachtree together, eatin’ some grilled food, drinking some adult beverages, watching some fireworks and sleeping.

Oh…gotta go down to the Expo to pick up our race numbers.

For Real

June 28th, 2011
4:14 pm

“Y’all got big plans for the holiday weekend?” – Sade Thursday night. I’m hoping for a chance to show her my character. Zippppppppppppppppppppppp!!!!!!!

Simple Man

June 28th, 2011
4:14 pm

ITL, going to Texas for a weekend of relaxing on the lake…What about you?

Into the Light

June 28th, 2011
4:15 pm

Alright, SC!!! I’ll be the one along the route with the “WAY TO GO, SEXY COOL!” poster. :)

Dynamic

June 28th, 2011
4:15 pm

Yes a person does need charcter in order to date them, however how are you going to “date” if you are unemployed? Most people assume that when you say you are unemployed that also means that you are broke or have limited finances. I don’t understand what the problem is and why others don’t understand why a woman wouldn’t want to date an unemployed man. I mean for a “date” what would we do? Sit around and allow me to listen to your good character? No thank You!!! Once you have the opportunity to focus on what’s important (being able to provide for yourself)then holla at me.

kimmie

June 28th, 2011
4:15 pm

That’s the 4 Real I know and love, putting words in my mouth! :lol:

Cause it doggone sure will be a fairytale, if I believe I can roll up to Bones and pay for my meal with Character!LOL!!!

Sassy Me...Pretty Young Thing :-)

June 28th, 2011
4:16 pm

I bet s/he’s lurking

S/he probably is Celisea…

Thank you Slim Nu and For Real :lol:

Leggs

June 28th, 2011
4:19 pm

@kimmie ~ stay away from Bones this week. There’s a private meeting going on between 2 bloggers…wait, you can go. Just realized they’re meeting at Bonefish….carry on!

Into the Light

June 28th, 2011
4:19 pm

What the ham sandwich is up with the postings? My post disappeared into cyber neverneverland

Lovely Brown

June 28th, 2011
4:20 pm

For Real

June 28th, 2011
4:14 pm
“Y’all got big plans for the holiday weekend?” – Sade Thursday night. I’m hoping for a chance to show her my character. Zippppppppppppppppppppppp!!!!!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

For Real

June 28th, 2011
4:23 pm

Kimmie: I have seen your character. I’m sure you could get a great meal from Bones with your character.

Into the Light

June 28th, 2011
4:23 pm

Okay, that’s twice I’ve tried to post. And no, there weren’t any wirty dords in there, either.