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I’d love you jobless!

I used to listen to the soundtrack for the film Best Man incessantly. I especially loved Lauryn Hill’s (*ahem* Miss Hill) remake of Turn Your Lights Down Low. This was before my intense Bob Marley phase, so I was unsure of the actual lyrics of the song.

For the longest time, I thought “I’d love you jobless” was being sung. I know, how weird right? Who would put that in a song?!

To be honest, I think I could love a jobless man. I don’t know if that makes me a romantic or slightly naive. Am I silly to think that love can conquer a 9.2% jobless rate? Perhaps!

I’m not saying it would be a cake walk, of course. I just believe it is something we can work on and get through together. That is what grown ups do right?

Recently, Forbes Women and Your Tango surveyed women – asking
if they would marry an unemployed man, 75% said they would not. Although, I don’t know if unemployed men who have marriage as their immediate goal.

What do you think? With our modern attitudes about relationships, money, and power, do we still want the traditional male provider?

Is it about being a financial provider or is it about contributing to the relationship? I know plenty of men dating and marrying unemployed women. Are men more at ease with the idea of an unemployed partner?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

P.S. It’s my birthday, y’all!

374 comments Add your comment

Wifey

June 28th, 2011
8:20 am

I may love you, but I wouldn’t be IN love with you. Certainly wouldn’t marry a jobless man. I’ve already raised and provided for two children already.

Wifey

June 28th, 2011
8:20 am

Oh, and happy birthday, WD!

MC Hammock

June 28th, 2011
8:24 am

Would it make a difference if it were a woman? Would I marry a jobless woman. Probably not. Would I date her? Possibly…unless I figured out she was using me to fund her life. If she was attractive and wanted to date me and just go bumpity bump? For a while, probably………dayum, that sounded bad.

Lana

June 28th, 2011
8:25 am

Ummm, NO. Next topic!

Simple Man

June 28th, 2011
8:26 am

Ok…I will go first and hopefully this Troll replellent will work….

On Topic: As a productive male in this society, I can’t for the life of me understand why a woman would want to date a dude without a job…Now I fully understand the nature of our economy and feel for those that are un-employed / under employed, But when your ability to take care of yourself and partner is paramount in my eyes…..

Dr. Love

June 28th, 2011
8:26 am

You may love someone, but to marry them, love isn’t enough.

Simple Man

June 28th, 2011
8:28 am

When you can’t take care of your partner, Your ability to do anything is compromised…( Its early, My thoughts are still jumbled) :)

Can we just talk about tatas?

June 28th, 2011
8:29 am

I doubt that any woman that was reasonably attractive, had high self esteem and driven would date an unemployed man. If he was wealthy BUT unemployed, that’s a horse of a different color. To entertain and be entertained is at the heart of dating and getting to know someone. If you can’t dance the dance, there will be no one that wants to dance with you.

MC Hammock

June 28th, 2011
8:35 am

So far, in my new apartment dwelling (3 days), at the swimming pool I have been hugged by a half naked man(WTH?), watched two lesbian couples making out and seen an 18 yr. old boy WITH a belly button ring and so flagrantly gay that he makes Jack on Will and Grace seem like a rugged outdoorsman. Many other hot ladies, but they all look like they are under 25 yrs. old. Talk about a target starved environment for the likes of me….*sigh

Stocky

June 28th, 2011
8:36 am

Being jobless does not mean you are broke, some people have in savings what others yearly salaries are.

Wifey

June 28th, 2011
8:37 am

MCH, you were hugged by a “half naked man” at the pool? And just what, may I ask, brought this on? Inquiring minds want to know! LOL

MC Hammock

June 28th, 2011
8:41 am

Wifey, he was a very social guy and apparantly had been living there for a while. He was with a small group at the pool and I informed them I had just moved in. After about an hour, I started to leave and he came up and said “Glad to meet ya.” and have me a two armed hug. Not real comfortable with that after having just met everyone…… Maybe you could spin by the pool, Wifey, and we could be the sole hetero couple…ha ha!

Simple Man

June 28th, 2011
8:45 am

MHC, Did Barney Frank wiggle when he huged you??? LOL ( In the words of Kimmie “I kid, I kid!!)

MC Hammock

June 28th, 2011
8:47 am

LOL@Simple…nope, withdrew like a frightened turtle…panic mode, actually. lol

Wifey

June 28th, 2011
8:48 am

That’s too funny, MCH. With regards to my invite, do they allow thongs and topless sunbathing? Just kidding…really….

Lana

June 28th, 2011
8:50 am

MCH, I guess being heterosexual at the pool puts you at a minority…LMAO. At least you won’t have too much competition when wooing the straight women. It could be worse!

UGA1999

June 28th, 2011
8:50 am

Wifey….sounds like you need to go to Mexico.

chink

June 28th, 2011
8:53 am

For some reason if I was jobless …dating would be last thing on my mind….

Now if you are financially stable in between jobs and doing fine go ahead …I would date that person but not someone struggling to get a job …I think his priority should be getting some stability.

Lucinda

June 28th, 2011
8:54 am

I would not marry a jobless man, unless he had beaucoup bucks stashed away and could PROVE it.

Imma tell you. With all this immigration stuff, I got mad respect for immigrants. So many willing to work their butts off to provide for their families, while a lot of others sit around complaining about “no job.” I got a guy who cuts my grass and works HARD. Might be illegal, but I don’t care cuz he works.

And while on my high horse, if I lost my job today, I betcha I’d have another within two weeks cuz I’d take something at Kroger, or a janitorial service, or anything until I could find something in my field.

No, not marrying OR dating man with no job. I’m not carrying no grown azz man.

Off the horse now.

Lucinda

June 28th, 2011
8:57 am

For some reason if I was jobless …dating would be last thing on my mind….

@chink just the point. Somebody who’s looking to date when they are jobless is looking for somebody to carry they azz. I’m not the one.

Simple Man

June 28th, 2011
8:57 am

“Wifey….sounds like you need to go to Mexico.”

Or to my house…..

Wifey

June 28th, 2011
9:02 am

MCH, I’m sure you’ll have no problems with the women around you. Bringing me in would be like bringing food to a barbeque. Just to satisfy my curiousity, give a brief description of yourself….and tell the TRUTH….lol. Don’t start off with “People mistake me for Brad Pitt”…LMAO

Trizzle

June 28th, 2011
9:02 am

OMGoodness NO! I dated a man that was unemployed and it was the worst experience of my life. He did nothing to find a job, just sat on the couch all day and played video games, while I worked my ass off. Nope, not ever again, not like that! Now, I will say this. If I am dating a man and he loses his job and is putting in a full day’s work to find another one, then yes, I will stand by him. But the minute he stops and does nothing, I will kick him to the curb. Period!

MC Hammock

June 28th, 2011
9:04 am

Wellllllll…lemme see. I’m 6′4. 220 lbs. competitive tennis player, work out 5 days a week, black hair, green eyes and have been told that in the face, I am Vince Gill’s twin. Is that brief enough for you?

Simple Man

June 28th, 2011
9:05 am

Trizzle, he sat at your home and played with the Play station????

OMG

June 28th, 2011
9:09 am

MC Hammock is white??? OMG! Wifey + MC Hammock = BAM!

M. (pronouced M dot)

June 28th, 2011
9:12 am

Good day…

I think I could date a jobless woman but I would be more curious about her plan and how she is going to change her situation. I would also try to be helpful and supportive and I want to see her effort in the relationship.

If she really cant contribute from a financial perspective, I hope that we have a good interaction otherwise and date wise. I dont want to hear her complaining all the time but making the best while she transitions.

This job loss can end up being temporary. I know a company that on June 2nd laid off a lot of people and there are some very attractive, single women in that mix.

I would take a woman who has everything I am looking for and just going through a rough job patch now rather than someone who has everything and who I cant stand!

UGA1999

June 28th, 2011
9:12 am

MC Hammock….welcome to the blog brother.

Wifey

June 28th, 2011
9:15 am

If you are telling the truth (and they rarely do)…….Oh, my….

UGA1999

June 28th, 2011
9:20 am

Wifey…..you seem to be in a spunky mood today.

Cindy

June 28th, 2011
9:20 am

I started dating a guy a couple of years ago, and he lost his job about one year into our relationship; he’s been seeking employment ever since, bouncing from one job to the next. Sadly, they often site “last hired, first fired” for him, and he’s off to find his next job. I wholeheartedly believe that it’s ok to date someone who is unemployed (as long as he/she is still looking and doesn’t want to be a mooch for life–that’s laziness, and laziness isn’t attractive). Sure, it’s far from easy at times, but we’re making it work. I wouldn’t start dating a man, only to try to change him (believe it or not, I feel that the guy I fell in love with is the guy I want to stick around, not change into my pet project), so why would I break up with a guy just because he lost his job? What if the tables were turned?

Kandis Brown

June 28th, 2011
9:22 am

I was laid off after dating my current boyfriend for 8 months. He was so supportive and went so far as to take the next day off to make me feel better. 30 days later he was laid off and we have gone more than 16 months without a job. It has been difficult b/c our savings have nearly been wiped out. We both decided to use the time to further our education, he is getting his PHR certification and I am pursuing a MBA. We both have BAs, but the economy is tough. I’m working for the summer while he is still jobless and I love him no less. I strongly believe had I not gone thru the exact same thing I would have the sentiment of many of you; however, I understand first-hand what an emotional roller coaster job search can be. I have questioned why he hasn’t pursued a part-time job, but I haven’t pushed the issue. We are planning to get married next September, although we will likely not have a traditional engagement.

UGA1999

June 28th, 2011
9:22 am

Cindy….that all depends on what you are looking to get out of the relationship. Past track record also indicates future behavior.

T

June 28th, 2011
9:24 am

I am single, professional and a mother of two. I was laid off for 8 months and I’ll tellya…it really did a job on my self esteem. I still carried myself the same way…or so I thiought, but it seemed like I wasn’t getting the same attention from men that I was use to. As soon as I started the new gig, I got the swing back in my hips and the nods and hollas were back on. Just goes to show you, that how you feel about yourself permeates throughout everything you do whether you know it or not. Marry a unemployed man, no. Sympathize with him…certainly.

Cindy

June 28th, 2011
9:28 am

@UGA1999, I found a partner a couple of years ago, and I don’t feel it would be right to turn my back on my partner because he fell victim to the cruddy economy we’re dealing with right now. I see that he is a fighter and a survivor, always trying to be positive about his job searches. Sure, life isn’t always Skittles and beer, but we make the best of it. While I’m at work, he often helps out with laundry, cleaning, making dinner, etc., so he is still trying to help contribute to our lives, even though he can’t financially help at this time. I have every bit of confidence in him (as well as myself and us, together), and I know that we’re going to get through this economic mess before too long.

Cindy

June 28th, 2011
9:30 am

P.S. I guess I should add, though, that engagement and marriage won’t happen until we both have steady jobs. From a strictly practical point of view, it just makes more sense to wait.

MC Hammock

June 28th, 2011
9:31 am

Sorry, I am NOT unemployed and they expect results around here….*sigh

MC Hammock

June 28th, 2011
9:33 am

Thanks, UGA. I’ve been on here a while, just married until recently. Got my own place this past weekend, but thanks!

UGA1999

June 28th, 2011
9:37 am

MC Hammock….congratulations…I am sure that must have been stressful.

Lana

June 28th, 2011
9:37 am

MCH, you sound like you won’t last long without someone to hang out with. Though I’m with Wifey, rarely do people turn out as good looking as they describe themselves, because you sould absolutely edible to me!

UGA1999

June 28th, 2011
9:37 am

Cindy…that is great, I hope you do.

TenderRoni

June 28th, 2011
9:38 am

Mornings,

when you talk marriage, I’m assuming its a man that I’m in an established relationship. I would not exclude marriage out of the equation, but I would want to wait until there is more stability in the relationship before we do the deed. I would support my man in his time of need.

Happy Birthday WD, enjoy your day!

MC Hammock

June 28th, 2011
9:39 am

UGA, it was, but it’s all done as of mid day Sunday. Jusr gotta find a dinner table w/chairs and a coffee table to complete the set up.

UGA1999

June 28th, 2011
9:39 am

Lana is looking for a hook up…..holla! hahah

abc

June 28th, 2011
9:48 am

Hoo boy, superficial much? What does a job have to do with actual love? You all talk about marriage as if it’s strictly a business arrangement. Pretty sad.

Wifey

June 28th, 2011
9:48 am

How does one request a pic of someone on here without having to post your email addy? Is it possible?

Flymetothemoon

June 28th, 2011
9:49 am

Most of these comments seem to support the notion that the primary reason women want men is for their money.

UGA1999

June 28th, 2011
9:50 am

Wifey…. I am not sure that is possible…..I have tried in the past.

UGA1999

June 28th, 2011
9:51 am

Flymetothemoon…..are you surprised?

Blackfoote

June 28th, 2011
9:51 am

If I like/love her and she showed and have aspirations I would keep her. The shoes you wear will fit another person’s feet, don’t be eager to put your foot down on some one. Most people don’t have a clue what they would do when confronted with this predicament.