Relationships: Do we improve for the next one?
You end one relationship and hopefully take some wisdom into the next one. What can we do avoid the same pitfalls that torpedoed the last relationship?
My friend Ben thinks his last relationship ended mainly because of his hectic new job that involved a lot of traveling. He believes that his new relationship will benefit from the lessons he learned about balancing work and home life.
Do you think you get to correct the wrong moves you made in past
relationships?
How have your dating and relationship experiences contributed to your personal growth?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta
If your current significant other met you years ago do you think you would have been a good match for them?
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286 comments Add your comment
MC Hammock
June 24th, 2011
10:26 am
LOL@Ark…It would be nice….but however, unlikely…gotta at least meet people before they become enamored and desire my lustfully…ha ha. Haven’t been back on the market in a while, so I’m sure my game needs some updating and refining.
Simple Man
June 24th, 2011
10:27 am
ARK, sounds to me like MCH needs to be trying to catch up with KOB!!! LOL
MC Hammock
June 24th, 2011
10:28 am
Haven’t seen KOB in a while on here. Maybe that Lana chick….ha ha
kimmie
June 24th, 2011
10:28 am
Would the current have dated me years ago? Would I have dated him years ago?
The only thing that probably would have made me hesitate back then is his bald head, if he had had it years ago. I didn’t care for bald. I have always liked clean-cut, intelligent types though, which he is so I would have definitely given him a shot!
Leggs
June 24th, 2011
10:29 am
Hey there, Trevor0529! How’s it going?
@kimmie ~ that is probably the number one factor toward growth
“The biggest lesson I learned is how to choose better.”
MC Hammock
June 24th, 2011
10:29 am
Course usually women that talk like they do don’t exactly have the outward appearance that we hoped that they do….not always….but usually.
Dan - Simply...
June 24th, 2011
10:32 am
I actually have work to do today so, I’ll co-sign Dreams sentiment about assessing your own failings as a part of the learning process.
SlimNumeroUno
June 24th, 2011
10:32 am
part of being in the country is being OUT of cell phone range and enjoying it. You don’t have any kids or pets do you? Tell your man, that you will be out of range and really just enjoy your family
Purp – that’s why i loves you…great point there buddy…great point! The beau has known about me heading down to Bama for a while now and he started off early in the week expressing how he was going to miss me this weekend. It’s good to miss each other every once in a while tho…
Regarding Smelling us…well this morning I had one of those tire leak farts and I thought of yall
kimmie
June 24th, 2011
10:35 am
Leggs – I agree.!
Hey Trev!
Simple – I gotta feeling KOB was just a “blog persona”. We can be whatever we want behind this screen!
MCH – Peace of mind is the best, no number 1, thing I enjoyed most when coming out of a not-so-great relationship. To have that same peace while in a relationship is a beautiful thing.
kimmie
June 24th, 2011
10:36 am
Leggs – Have you won anything else lately? I thought about you while I was in Vegas!
Blackfoote
June 24th, 2011
10:43 am
I learn from mistakes made. owning up to them and making adjustments is my improvement. No matter how improved you are similar mistakes will be made.
Leggs
June 24th, 2011
10:43 am
I won $40 the other day. I stopped playing Cash 3, but I like my number so much and had an inkling it would soon drop. I played it straight and straightbox. $40 for playing a $1 ain’t bad. Well, I played it six times so $40 for playing $6 ain’t bad. Mega is running from me. I always only have 2 of the numbers.
Purple Rain
June 24th, 2011
10:45 am
Slim, enjoy it
MCH, I agree.
Simple Man
June 24th, 2011
10:46 am
So Kimmie, all the fantasies I was having about meeting KOB and have hot new people sex in the bathroom at Loca Luna aint gonna happen????
DAMN,DAMN,DAMN!!!! ( In my best Florida Evans voice)
kimmie
June 24th, 2011
10:46 am
Leggs – Me & my girls are thinking about making Vegas if not yearly, an every-other-year thing. Find a cheap flight & hotel & go. I’ll let you know so you can make plans. I think you will do well there!!
kimmie
June 24th, 2011
10:48 am
Simple – Probably not, so sorry. But dreaming won’t cost you a thing!!LOL!!
Leggs
June 24th, 2011
10:49 am
Sounds fabulous, kimmie. Keep me informed. Even if I don’t win Mega, I’m working hard on at least 5 of the numbers.
SexyCool
June 24th, 2011
10:49 am
Speaking of Loca Luna – The Half Off Depot deal today is $17 for $35 at Loca Luna.
Purple Rain
June 24th, 2011
10:56 am
I was thinking about that the other day Simple Man…I think a public restroom, regardless of how clean or sexy the woman is, is a no go for me. It’s still a primary place where other people shY!t.
Another Voice
June 24th, 2011
10:57 am
When you go from one relationship to another you still bring you with you….with all the pros and cons of who you are. Things only improve if you find a better match for what you are looking for and your own value system as a match for the other person as well.
kimmie
June 24th, 2011
10:58 am
Purple – Public restrooms – I totally agree!!!LOL!!!
kimmie
June 24th, 2011
11:00 am
Another Voice – Great post!!!
UGA1999
June 24th, 2011
11:01 am
Who needs to improve when you are perfect?
BlackMagicWoman-NYC
June 24th, 2011
11:04 am
What I learned from my last relationship many years ago….is NOT to get in one! Too much dayum work and not worth the stress!
Oh..happy Friday from a rainy NYC folks! I need my leopard Snuggie and a nap!
Leggs
June 24th, 2011
11:08 am
UGA and Casual Observer are working with the same brain.
UGA1999
June 24th, 2011
11:08 am
Ha, and?
Blackfoote
June 24th, 2011
11:11 am
1999:
Practice makes perfect.
Leggs
June 24th, 2011
11:16 am
Just means 2 ppl have admitted they’re perfect.
Celisea
June 24th, 2011
11:17 am
Morning,
What I learned from my “last relationship” that he wasn’t as forthcoming and standup as portrayed.
What I learned over the years was to grow up, take accountability. That I was to blame sometimes. That I can’t change people. Truly understanding what things are tolerable versus just wanting to have my way. To understand that giving sometimes attributes to understanding “compromise” rather than feeling like I’m giving way to the other person. While I’ve never been one of much patience I had to learn that I’m not perfect either…which allowed much room for my own personal growth. That loving through thick and thin is not a bad thing but rather indicative of how much depth you can possess.
Guy
June 24th, 2011
11:17 am
I shifted from one gal to the next as I saw fit. I never had one of them to leave me – maybe that’s why it was so easy to get a new one. I finally found the right one and we’ve been happily married for 44 years; complete with children and grandchildren. Life is good.
SlimNumeroUno
June 24th, 2011
11:21 am
Leggs – My coworker said she was going to play my tag number, which she actually didn’t play the right numbers. However, she played Cash 4 last night as 3242. The number that fell was 4342…off by one dayum number.
Blackfoote
June 24th, 2011
11:23 am
Practice what I preach, still I’m so far and a long ways from perfect. If only I knew the remedy could I become perfect, and I don’t.
SexyCool
June 24th, 2011
11:25 am
Like kimmie, I learned to choose better. I learned to accept less bullsht and to speak up about my needs in a relationship and I learned to be unafraid of walking away if I was being mistreated or not getting what I needed and deserved from the relationship.
Leggs
June 24th, 2011
11:28 am
@SlimNU ~ the rule of thumb is one up, one down. The problem is you don’t know which number you want to play up and dow! Cash 4 is a tricky pony! Now, I’m playing my badge id #.
Purple Rain
June 24th, 2011
11:31 am
Celisea, I never got the email so I could shop at that site. Are the deals over?
Celisea
June 24th, 2011
11:33 am
Hey there PR – Let me try again. I’ll see if the sale is still going. There are sales from different designers that happens daily and usually stay open 1 – 2 days…..really really great sales. Okay give me a sec. I’ll email you.
Celisea
June 24th, 2011
11:33 am
Just got an email…PR…Dolce & Gabbana is added today…Oh la la
Purple Rain
June 24th, 2011
11:33 am
Thank You
Light
June 24th, 2011
11:34 am
I agree that learning from your past relationship mistakes and making changes is wise and can help in future relationships. But I also believe that each relationship is different and you shouldn’t impose something you changed about yourself on someone if it doesn’t apply. Each relationship should be based on its own merits with perspectives from your life learning and experience. For instance, if you are selfish and learn that its not a good trait in a relationship, that’s great. But if you began dating a new person who turns out to be selfish, and you decide you’re going to be giving and selfless because in your last relationship you were a mess, then you may wind up feeling used in the new relationship. All relationships need a level of balance.
UGA1999
June 24th, 2011
11:34 am
Celisea….it seems I need a log in or something to gain access.
UGA1999
June 24th, 2011
11:34 am
Celisea…what is the log in?
Willie Dynamite
June 24th, 2011
11:36 am
Morning All – (Is it still morning? Long Nights Short days).
My Wife didn’t and wouldn’t even try to date me when we first met. I was in full blown Wolf stage with teeth showing, horns up and heartless. She did however have the hookup with the Wizard and knew how to get my Heart. It wasn’t easy and she’ll be the first to tell you.
What i learned from previous relationships is that there was 1 constant, ME. Nothing good/bad happened unless I allowed it to happen. I took and continue to take 100% full responsibility. What I see in some (read most) people (Women especially because of the emotion syndrome) is they fail to take responsibility for any part of the demise. Its easy to blame to the other person. Afterall aren’t most of us perfect. I hate to bring up Steven Q. but I will say after a certain age and the bitterness sets in the failure to accept some of the blame is a YOU problem. There is a very remote chance that EVERY relationship you’ve been in and failed has been the other persons fault (yeah right). Either YOU are choosing wrong or YOU just aren’t all that YOU think you are.
Big Un
June 24th, 2011
11:36 am
All I know is that I’d like to go out tonight and engage in some really serious sex.
SlimNumeroUno
June 24th, 2011
11:37 am
Leggs – Yeah seems like a tricky pony. I think i’ll start playing my dads birthday since he’s been on my mind lately. Mama needs some vacation money!!
Oh and I’m Perfectly IMperfect
Celisea
June 24th, 2011
11:38 am
UGA1999 – I thought a person could “sign up” but it seems you will have to be “invited” in. Today is D&G, Timberland Boot, Kassatex, The Talbott Hotel, The A-List Luxury Sunglass…tomorrow will be Andrew Marc, CK, Mirador, LP Italy…the day after is BCBG, Versace – Home, Lilly Pulitzer…so forth and so on. Once the sale open there’s a visual clock for how much time you have to buy.
SlimNumeroUno
June 24th, 2011
11:41 am
Light – Like the post, makes sense
Celisea
June 24th, 2011
11:42 am
PR – 23 hours left for KC
Leggs
June 24th, 2011
11:42 am
Play numbers that mean something to you. But, you can’t just play for one day.
Purple Rain
June 24th, 2011
11:44 am
Celisea, I like the site thank you. LOL, you get a $10 credit to huh.
Celisea
June 24th, 2011
11:46 am
PR – I get a $10 credit if you buy…you shopping today?