Do bossy women get married?
My friend Allen is dating a smart woman who runs her own company. Allen seems to be really impressed with her now but she told them if they met 5 years ago, he probably would have run for the hills.
She admitted that before they met, she was a real piece of work – very strong-willed, opinionated, and well bossy. She finally realized this was not serving her well on the dating scene. According to her, bossy women don’t get asked out – and few end up with the men they want.
Once she started to find a balance, she noticed a big difference in the type of men she met and attracted. This makes me think about the fine line single women often have to worry about: bossy versus confident. Men love confident women! A confident woman who is too bossy? Well, let’s just say some men view them as a challenge – others think of them as the type to avoid.
Ladies, have you found it difficult or challenging to project your confidence without appearing overconfident or bossy? Is it a good idea to to tone it down when you meet someone new? Would that be misleading?
Guys do you believe that some women can really be attractive while being confident and bossy? Do you think women should balance it more so they don’t send the wrong message?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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321 comments Add your comment
kimmie
June 22nd, 2011
10:54 am
What’s up, BMW?
UGA1999
June 22nd, 2011
10:55 am
Thought so….
SexyCool
June 22nd, 2011
10:58 am
Where did my comment go?
Purple Rain
June 22nd, 2011
10:59 am
You either you do or you don’t….some people are built stronger than others. Some bow down, some bow out…others conquer.
Blackfoote, I agree with you again, maybe it was how I was raised.
Blackfoote
June 22nd, 2011
10:59 am
Mrs. Kimmie thanks.
BMW you never fail to bring the fire…..LOL
O J Simpson
June 22nd, 2011
11:00 am
Bossy women make you crazy…. have you thinking about trips to Chicago and small finger cuts. Anybody here know how to get blood out of car seat leather???
Dan - Simply...
June 22nd, 2011
11:01 am
@BMW
Submission is so not weak…hopefully one day you’ll really come to appreciate that.
Exiled!
June 22nd, 2011
11:02 am
@Kimmie,
If u are bossy on the job but mummy-fied at home…there is no issue there.
If u are bossy in yr relationship and ur guy is equally bossy then we are awaiting the Clash of the Titans!
Now Bossy woman and gayish man(?), that’s a winner!
SexyCool
June 22nd, 2011
11:03 am
Third attempt….
kimmie – “My relationship, though, is a stress-free, soft place to lay my head. I make sure it’s the same for him.”
^THIS is what it’s all about.
kimmie
June 22nd, 2011
11:03 am
Funny, no one ever asks if bossy men get married. They do every day too.
It’s someone for everybody. There are some men and women that like to be controlled. There are those that like to be in control. Get in where you fit in. Don’t hide who you are, be yourself. Someone will be attracted to it. Some will even get off on the challenge to “tame you” or “bring you out of your shell”!
You just can’t make a blanket statement about people. “If you are over 30 & not married, something is wrong”, “Bossy women don’t get married”, etc. I see people break the mold every day.
Leggs
June 22nd, 2011
11:03 am
Leggs
June 22nd, 2011
11:04 am
Hell, if ugly people can marry so can bossy people….NEXT!
kimmie
June 22nd, 2011
11:06 am
If u are bossy in yr relationship and ur guy is equally bossy then we are awaiting the Clash of the Titans!
Exiled – Man, I just don’t have the energy!LOL!! That’s why I love having a man that can handle things. Being the boss is tiring!
Blackfoote
June 22nd, 2011
11:06 am
LOL……@Leggs
Now aint that the truth…..LOL
UGA1999
June 22nd, 2011
11:09 am
Into the Light
June 22nd, 2011
11:09 am
co-signing Kimmie’s 11:03
Into the Light
June 22nd, 2011
11:09 am
Off topic: UGA, are you ready for some football?!?!?!
Simple Man....
June 22nd, 2011
11:10 am
Morning peeps…. Looks like Bossy has been beat to death!!
Celisea
June 22nd, 2011
11:12 am
Funny, no one ever asks if bossy men get married. They do every day too
Thank you ma’am…
Purple Rain
June 22nd, 2011
11:13 am
kimmie, I think it alls boils down to the man and woman knowing their roles and being held accountable to them. Not in a dominating or submissive manner, but just doing what you are supposed to do. My wife and I are both bossy, but we respect each other. It’s never a tug of war, but we do have disagreements and are both are strong willed…but we have like minds and give and take. Sometimes I sit back and smile while she is doing her thing and I know she finds comfort in knowing that I will handle whatever pops up. She gives me respect and I give her honor.
UGA1999
June 22nd, 2011
11:17 am
Into the Light….I am always ready. Actually my youth football team has been doing speed and agility three times a week for the past month or so. I am just ready to see some hitting.
kimmie
June 22nd, 2011
11:18 am
Purple – Amen!
Leggs
June 22nd, 2011
11:19 am
Least they’re not fined in youth football for hitting like they now are in pro!
Purple Rain
June 22nd, 2011
11:20 am
UGA, this is way off topic…but humor me please. LOL Do you mess with the mothers of the youths on your team?
SexyCool
June 22nd, 2011
11:21 am
Kelis was “Bossy.” Now, she’s divorced. (lol – jokes, jokes)
Into the Light
June 22nd, 2011
11:25 am
Sometimes I sit back and smile while she is doing her thing and I know she finds comfort in knowing that I will handle whatever pops up. She gives me respect and I give her honor.
Now that’s what I’m talking about!!
UGA: I’m already counting down the days until Sept. 3 in the Dome….bring it, Smurf Turf.
UGA1999
June 22nd, 2011
11:27 am
Purple Rain…..Do I do it intentionally?? No. However I have had relations with sevearal mothers that are on my teams from previous years. It is amazing what some mothers will do to ensure their kids get playing time.
UGA1999
June 22nd, 2011
11:28 am
Into the Light…..I agree, I want to go to that game but I have not bought my tickets yet.
For Real
June 22nd, 2011
11:35 am
What up Blog Fam!!!
There is someone for everyone. With that being said I don’t find bossy women attractive. Hell I don’t like bossy people period. I find them to be selfish and only wanting of the boss title when things are good.
Most women make the mistake of confusing “strong/confidence” with being bossy. “Strong/confidence” is there for all to see. Bossy has to be loud and make scene in order to be seen.
Example: Last weekend I was at party where I heard a Bossy Lady say (very, very, very loudly) these words.
Bossy Chick: I will not apologize for my success and if I can’t find a man to marry me by the time I’m 38 I will find one and have a baby and tell him I don’t need a man!
Strong/Confident Chick: (In a calm voice) You do realize what you may call success someone else may consider it a failure. Also, why would you deprive a child of his father?
Exiled!
June 22nd, 2011
11:36 am
If u ugly but got a big bouncy booty,u fool a lotta men and proly get wifed up!
Yes maaam,I’ve seen that!
The Truth
June 22nd, 2011
11:37 am
Domination creates submission. If you don’t take charge of that situation she is forced to. Even the most submissive person takes the front when confronted with a more submissive person.
Unfortunately when the submissive party is the male it creates an unnatural balance. A lot of pressure is put on the woman, pressure she is not prepared to bare. A bossy married chick is looking for a “real man” to reign her ass in, 100% of the time. As soon as she finds one she’ll submit.
Dominant/bossy woman is an oxymoron. In my entire life I have never met one dominant female. I have met women that, due to circumstances, was forced to take charge of situations. Most of those times were due to some dude having dropped off on his responsibilities.
I worked with a very masculine gay chick once. Tats on her arm. Appeared hard to a lot of folk. She would straight smash chicks. Gang rush em and make them submit. When it came to work with the fellas she was not the same person.. She was simply filling a void for those chicks.
Oj, you have a point. A guy must have gears to get the job done. If she knows you’ll tap out at some point you have just submitted. You did go to the extreme though. LOL
Btw, good morning folks.
BMW, come over here and serve me breakfast.
Purple Rain
June 22nd, 2011
11:40 am
For Real, I don’t think that was a Bossy lady, but a crazy lady instead.
UGA, thought so…..lol
Exiled, I agree. That’s why I stay away from big bouncy booties and dairy products…..
For Real
June 22nd, 2011
11:46 am
“Dominant/bossy woman is an oxymoron” – Exactly and let me add intimidating. Oh and I can’t stand to hear a dude say about his woman “she won’t let me be the man”. Of course she will not you already gave her the title.
For Real
June 22nd, 2011
11:51 am
Purp you are probably right. Everyone stayed away from her after her statement. She was walking around the party trying to inject herself in everyone else’s conversation but no one would entertain her so she pronounced the party to be whack and stated that she’s jumping into her Benz and heading back to her big ass house!
Purple Rain
June 22nd, 2011
11:56 am
For Real, you should have just jumped her bones and then give her 3 seconds of fury……
The Truth
June 22nd, 2011
11:58 am
For Real, one of my partners said those exact words. “She wouldn’t let me be the man”. WTF are you talking about? They’re getting divorced right now. Really, at this moment. lol
Kimmie, congrats on your wedding. Btw, what we had is over. I don’t share.
Purple Rain
June 22nd, 2011
12:03 pm
How can a woman not “let a man be a man”?
abc
June 22nd, 2011
12:11 pm
Wow! Lots of defensiveness in here this morning. Truth be told, I’ll take that over abc’s asinine insinuation that being passionate about your beliefs makes you a card-carrying member of al Qaeda.
You have a reading comprehension problem, Into the Light. Ordinarily I don’t respond to stupid trolling crap like that, but… that’s pretty stupid.
For Real
June 22nd, 2011
12:12 pm
Purp she is a beautiful lady (worthy of 19 seconds of fury for sure) but it’s obvious that she has been hurt and there is a void in her life that, that Benz and big ass house can’t fill. “Be careful of the shields you use to protect your heart for they will fend off good people while serving as a beacon to those that will harm you.”
Truth she took his manhood on the first day they met and he was fine with it until she started making him pee sitting down.
For Real
June 22nd, 2011
12:15 pm
Oh and abc I like you post about “passionate belives” and you are right where there is passion there is no room for logic or reason only what feels right.
Just wanna know?
June 22nd, 2011
12:22 pm
Whats wrong with peeing sittting down
Leggs
June 22nd, 2011
12:23 pm
Hey Truth. Was thinking about you yesterday when I heard the song “Adore.” We both agreed a while ago it was a beautifully written song! Hope you’re doing well. You and the soon-to-be Mrs.
@ForReal ~ women who talk like that outloud, at gatherings, are somewhat insecure because they haven’t found a man yet. They blame that on the man and not on the issues they have with SELF. Also, probably said all that rolling her neck. An art I still cannot do…
Leggs
June 22nd, 2011
12:30 pm
@abc ~ re: defensiveness. I think she was referring to the exchange between UGA and myself in first part of the morning (I may be mistaken).
Leggs
June 22nd, 2011
12:31 pm
“Be careful of the shields you use to protect your heart for they will fend off good people while serving as a beacon to those that will harm you.” – LOVING IT, SO TRUE!
Celisea
June 22nd, 2011
12:33 pm
How can you not love abc…lol
SexyCool
June 22nd, 2011
12:43 pm
Cel – you have got to respect his consistency even when you don’t agree with his position.
Purple Rain
June 22nd, 2011
12:47 pm
Leggs, the second part of your 12:23 is a ringer!
Celisea
June 22nd, 2011
12:48 pm
SexyC – Exactly
BlackMagicWoman-NYC
June 22nd, 2011
1:01 pm
“Clash of the Titans” EXILED…now that is one of my favorite movies!
“Being the boss is tiring!” KIMMIE…thank God I have a lot of energy and stamina so I never grow tired!
Who says Bossy women don’t ever get married and stay married? Shall I introduce my mami?
I find it funny when “boys” think that they can make somebody submit. I am no dog and I do not require training. As a child I had to do what I was told…which of course caused rebellion. So as an adult….I will not be controlled like I’m some child who can’t yet think for myself. Any man coming at me with that “alpha male” crap gets the middle finger showing him to the nearest exit after I tell him where to kiss! Just because you were born with balls does NOT make you an authority figure! I progress, not regress. Why grown up only to be treated like a child again. That time will come when I am old, feeble and back in diapers. Until then….viva la BMW!!!!!
shay
June 22nd, 2011
1:05 pm
Bossy women can get married (and remain married) when they are not being “bossy” with their man. Being bossy at work, well sometimes that’s the nature of the beast. Being a team player at home is more the objective.