Do bossy women get married?
My friend Allen is dating a smart woman who runs her own company. Allen seems to be really impressed with her now but she told them if they met 5 years ago, he probably would have run for the hills.
She admitted that before they met, she was a real piece of work – very strong-willed, opinionated, and well bossy. She finally realized this was not serving her well on the dating scene. According to her, bossy women don’t get asked out – and few end up with the men they want.
Once she started to find a balance, she noticed a big difference in the type of men she met and attracted. This makes me think about the fine line single women often have to worry about: bossy versus confident. Men love confident women! A confident woman who is too bossy? Well, let’s just say some men view them as a challenge – others think of them as the type to avoid.
Ladies, have you found it difficult or challenging to project your confidence without appearing overconfident or bossy? Is it a good idea to to tone it down when you meet someone new? Would that be misleading?
Guys do you believe that some women can really be attractive while being confident and bossy? Do you think women should balance it more so they don’t send the wrong message?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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321 comments Add your comment
Purple Rain
June 22nd, 2011
9:43 am
People become, more times than not, who they were raised to be or influenced by their environment. People are who they are…yes once they become adults. Yes some men like to be told what to do, but some men let women run all over them and then complain about it.
KeithB
June 22nd, 2011
9:45 am
I am married to one…so yes, they do get married.
Purple Rain
June 22nd, 2011
9:46 am
Well, BMW is over 30 and single, never been married….probably an only child raised…..and just told me to get over there and do her. Now I am no punk, but at this moment in time she is the Boss of me and I must do what she says. LOL
MsMarriedUp
June 22nd, 2011
9:46 am
No. Now confident women able to compromise and can hang with the give and take do get married and often stay married. Bossy people (male & female) who have rules and demands and want it mostly there way seem to opt for singlehood, which to say, isn’t nothing wrong with that. In fact, I’m sure a many of potential mates would prefer it!
UGA1999
June 22nd, 2011
9:46 am
BlackMajic…..are you single?
Dan - Simply...
June 22nd, 2011
9:47 am
@BMW
the day you accept that “submission” is not a bad word, you’ll be dangerous
Purple Rain
June 22nd, 2011
9:49 am
I’m a bossy confident dude, with a bossy confident wife. There is nothing we can’t accomplish together.
Leggs
June 22nd, 2011
9:49 am
She’s already dangerous, please believe!
Hola, chica!
Orlando
June 22nd, 2011
9:49 am
Bossy women do end up alone. Me and my wife have a great life, financially and emotionally, but even though she makes more money than me, she will tell you I am the head of the house. Men, take back your house. Yes, I have a terrace level with all the man needs, pool table, home theater and bar, but i am not driven to go down there by her. I guess I have one of the rare relationships in Atl, she is beautiful, smart and she loves me. I feel good……
UGA1999
June 22nd, 2011
9:51 am
Leggs…..we believe you. But she will never find a solid strong stable man with her attitude.
abc
June 22nd, 2011
9:51 am
I don’t subscribe much to the ‘passionate about one’s beliefs’ stuff. I take it as passionate meaning an emotional commitment to one’s perspective. Once that emotional commitment to an opinion is there, no rationale matters anymore. It doesn’t make any sense to me to be that way. In fact, I think it’s a mistake to be that way. I figure passionate/emotional commitment to belief is why people in the Middle East act like whack jobs so much, for example.
Into the Light
June 22nd, 2011
9:52 am
UGA, did she say she was looking for one? I don’t remember that in her post; I’ll reread.
Purple Rain
June 22nd, 2011
9:52 am
Just be strong enough to tame her.
Celisea
June 22nd, 2011
9:52 am
Believe me when I tell you confident women are easily submissive. A man’s man can get it done effortlessly. Don’t really know what all the whining is about.
Davidsblend
June 22nd, 2011
9:53 am
I think bossy chicks end up trying to run the show and that gets no play in my space. I usually ignore them or tell them no until they realize it’s not happening. No is a powerful word for someone who’s not used to it. Now confident women, a definite must…wimpy chicks are boring.
UGA1999
June 22nd, 2011
9:53 am
Into the light….she didnt say that and I didnt imply that. Read again.
Leggs
June 22nd, 2011
9:54 am
Perhaps, but she’s mellowed a little over the years (LOL). Guess you don’t know much about her since you’re asking if she’s single.
UGA1999
June 22nd, 2011
9:54 am
Celisea….there is a difference between confident and bossy.
UGA1999
June 22nd, 2011
9:54 am
Leggs….it was a question….did I claim to know much about her?
Celisea
June 22nd, 2011
9:58 am
Touche’ UGA (9:53) lol
Yes, UGA I get the difference. It’s all these dudes that couldn’t “conquer” some chick somewhere that’s whining. That’s getting to be the theme on here…”6-9, come and whine”
Dan - Simply...
June 22nd, 2011
9:58 am
@abc
Channeling passion towards a useful end is a good thing; as opposed to having passion with no direction or a non useful end.
M. (pronouced M dot)
June 22nd, 2011
9:58 am
Good day…
I think the issue of bossiness usually stems from people who have control issues and they wish they could control something tangible in their life and if they are single they probably cant control anything but themselves. She probably isnt a manager so not controlling employees, no kids to control, and so who does she pour this out on? Her relationship.
Also, her issue may not be bossiness, maybe she is just to combative. This is a huge issue with some women also.
Question, what if youre dating someone bossy in a relationship who is older than you? Dont they subconsciously think they can be bossy because they are older? If youre 32 and dating a 41 year old, she may think she is your mother! Older doesnt always equal mature.
@Steven
Interesting point about 30 year olds. My buddy said if she looks real good and never been married, somethings not right lol she is either crazy or a reformed woman…lol
Into the Light
June 22nd, 2011
9:59 am
Wow! Lots of defensiveness in here this morning. Truth be told, I’ll take that over abc’s asinine insinuation that being passionate about your beliefs makes you a card-carrying member of al Qaeda.
UGA1999
June 22nd, 2011
10:00 am
Celisea….I have always heard “69 come eat anytime” hahaha.
Purple Rain
June 22nd, 2011
10:00 am
Tame that stallion!
Celisea
June 22nd, 2011
10:01 am
Somebody please do.
Celisea
June 22nd, 2011
10:05 am
Off topic, my coworker is here today. Somebody walked up and asked “did you have a good vacation” that was hi la ri ous as he had no comeback…lol
Back to the topic
Leggs
June 22nd, 2011
10:06 am
@UGA ~ don’t get your knickers in a bunch. That question states you know nothing about her! That’s all my friend, that’s all.
Purple Rain
June 22nd, 2011
10:06 am
There are two types of men….you are either a hunter or a gatherer LOL
UGA1999
June 22nd, 2011
10:08 am
Leggs….not in a bunch at all. Just didnt want to get my words misunderstood.
Dan - Simply...
June 22nd, 2011
10:08 am
@PR – Again, bad supposition – you could be a chief running them other two
Leggs
June 22nd, 2011
10:10 am
Cool…
Leggs
June 22nd, 2011
10:12 am
“Interesting point about 30 year olds. My buddy said if she looks real good and never been married, somethings not right lol she is either crazy or a reformed woman…lol”
Reminds me of the saying “don’t trust a woman with a big ole butt!” JUST DUMB!
abc
June 22nd, 2011
10:13 am
Agreed, Dan — suppose one has a passionate and thus emotional commitment to the arts, born of creative drive. Or, one is passionate about achieving success in their small business. Passion can then result in effort required to produce and succeed.
On the other hand, passionate commitment to political and religious causes will result mostly in bias against the opposition. In a personal relationship sense, passion to drive a Benz and live in a McMansion is likely a destructive influence.
Purple Rain
June 22nd, 2011
10:18 am
Dan, only hunter’s become chiefs….upbringing
TenderRoni
June 22nd, 2011
10:19 am
I think bossiness is directly related to contolling. Both women and men have this trait/issue.
I have only been called bossy by one person- my daughter. And I told her I am the boss of her until she is 18, so sit your butt down and eat your broccoli!
Blackfoote
June 22nd, 2011
10:20 am
Bossy women do get married, they maintain just like any other woman. A man who knows how to handle it wont have any problem from her bossyness. If she’s strong you be the man and be stronger.
Purple Rain
June 22nd, 2011
10:23 am
Blackfoote, your 10:20 states it clearly.
UGA1999
June 22nd, 2011
10:23 am
I bet Michelle is bossy to Barry…..poor thing.
Dan - Simply...
June 22nd, 2011
10:24 am
@PR – tell that to the murderous gatherer – nature
Blackfoote
June 22nd, 2011
10:29 am
TendeRoni:
After seeing how you spelled bossiness, and I still spelled it wrong please forgive me you’re the boss.
M. (pronouced M dot)
June 22nd, 2011
10:32 am
@Leggs
LOL that is a funny one…I also heard don’t trust women with a play brother..who makes up this stuff?
thewatchdog
June 22nd, 2011
10:35 am
That is a great question. I really like it. I am watching expert[female]witnesses testify in the Casey Anthony Trial. They are bossy[i can tell] just by looking at the tube. I would not be interested. They analyze information. Having said that, I could be interested but I like the sensuous woman that ooooooooozes sex appeal.
Blackfoote
June 22nd, 2011
10:38 am
Purple I don’t see what all the flak is about. Disecting and putting all this emotion in something fairly easy, in the wild females submit to the strong or fittest the weak and meek are left behind. Humans aren’t that much different, females are attracted to the strong or the fittest. That guy who can’t accept her for what she is, meek.
Commonsenseagitator
June 22nd, 2011
10:38 am
A confident woman is the sexisest type, a bossy woman is a witch.
Exiled!
June 22nd, 2011
10:47 am
If she’s over 30,never been married,never declined or negated/broken an engagement but has been looking to be married all this while…..10,15 years of dating and not a single dude,after dating for a year or so has said,’let’s get married babes,what say u?’…
She needs to look in the mirror or ask auntie..Its on her!
Do bossy women get married?
Rarely! and if so briefly!
what’s for lunch?
O J Simpson
June 22nd, 2011
10:49 am
You fella’s do realize there is a cure for bossy women…..
kimmie
June 22nd, 2011
10:51 am
Morning All!
Blackfoote, like your comments!
Bossy women get married – I’m one!LOL!! I have just always known when, where & how to be bossy. I’m laid-back but respected at work. I’m more drill sargent-like with the kids, but in a funny way. I was like that growing up with my brothers. They would complain about my bossiness and I would laugh.
I have never liked being told what to do, unless you were my parent, a teacher or paying me! So I could never tolerate it in a relationship. I never needed another daddy, thank you, I had a great one. My relationship, though, is a stress-free, soft place to lay my head. I make sure it’s the same for him. So no controlling, bossiness from either of us. We are partners. Both of us are intelligent and have opinions and something to offer. He is very much respected as the head of the household. I am glad I don’t have to “wear the pants”! I am confident in his ability to handle the role and it’s a beautiful thing!
Leggs
June 22nd, 2011
10:51 am
Oh snap, OJ is here with his take (lol).
BlackMagicWoman-NYC
June 22nd, 2011
10:53 am
UGA…yes I am. I find that I am happier that way.
I do not have an attitude, it’s my motto of MY life. Different strokes for different folks. I do not wear desperarion like a stinky cheap perfume. So I will not go pretending to be something I am not to have a man. I would be the only one unhappy because I am not true to myself! So to clear up and misunderstandings…I am not looking for a man. I want to live as stress free as possible. So adding a man would do the total opposite. I refuse to play the docile weakling so some lil’ boy’s ego won’t be bruised. The only stroking I will do is in bed! If a man doesn’t know who he is already then is is weak! I don’t need validation, so why would I get a guy who does?
DAN….submission is for the weak and I am NO weakling! Oh, and I am already dangerous!
HEEEEEY LEGGS! How ya’ doin’?