What’s wrong with sexting?
I’m sure you are beyond tired of hearing about the fallout over Anthony Weiner. I understand! If I hear one more Weiner joke I’ll probably throw something.
However, I’d be remiss in my dating blogger duties if I didn’t dedicate at least one day of discussion to a common thing on the dating scene: Sexting. Texting with sexual innuendo, racy pictures, etc.
I was reading on New York Times about the debate on adult sexting. Is it wrong? Are you uncomfortable with it? Is it something that you do when you aren’t with someone exclusively?
I was having dinner with friends when the Weiner topic came up (Seriously, no pun intended) and the guys asked us how many of us had engaged in sexy text messaging. Turns out, the better question was, who hasn’t? Apparently, sexting goes down sometimes before you seal the deal.
It’s a tricky thing, though. You can’t go from just meeting someone to sending them a random picture of you in underwear. It takes finesse! Some people don’t get that.
Have you ever received unsolicited/unwanted text messages from someone you dated?
Do you think there is something wrong with sexting? Has it ever worked for you, i.e. resulted in a positive response?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
P.S. Thanks to all the commentary/feedback on the blog topics – good and bad. I’ve been doing this for a long time but it is always important to hear criticism and critique. Thank you!
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297 comments Add your comment
Jeff
June 10th, 2011
6:21 am
Sexting with your SO can be really hot.
Anthony Weiner
June 10th, 2011
6:35 am
Be careful, it can get you in trouble.
John Edwards
June 10th, 2011
6:36 am
Videos are better than sexting.
Christina
June 10th, 2011
7:15 am
It’s all fun and games until someone forwards your texts…
Trouser Trout
June 10th, 2011
7:15 am
Nothing better than seeing a nice place to hole up, then doing it…and wearing it out
Splunker
June 10th, 2011
7:20 am
I require it – last thing i want is to run into heavy beef curtains or an uncontrolled kudzu jungle
Jacques Coustou
June 10th, 2011
7:24 am
Love it, hoping for smell vision soon because the last thing I need is more fishy smell. You now what it’s like to dive and hit that? Jeez! Of course I always carry my mask and oxygen…with some of these sea lions even the flippers get used
Heat Guy J
June 10th, 2011
8:02 am
The responses are hilarious today; well done, everyone.
Sexting does make the workday fly by, but it leads to inflated expectations. Nothing’s worse than getting to the date or getting home and finding out her bark was louder than her bite (or she’s not nearly as gorgeous, energetic, or adventurous as you imagined).
Of course, sexting makes it easier to cheat, and now that nearly every phone has a screen lock, it’s easier to get away with it.
Screen locks also make it harder to police the biggest sexting population: kids.
It’s 10am: do you know where your child’s smartphone is?
Ezra
June 10th, 2011
8:30 am
I think all forms of communication are great! But reaching out via sexting is for those with low profiles. Personnaly I do not care if a politician is sexting. These upper class rules are for show anyway. If all of you (reporters) would report real news and not sleezy articles this blog would not have any significance.
Emily Post
June 10th, 2011
8:33 am
Women are such drags, I enjoy flashing my sweater meat and round mounds all over the place
My little garden also cums out for air a lot…the boys love me
Wifey
June 10th, 2011
8:46 am
Sexy texts, yes…but sending me naked pics of you or your weiner are not. Leave something to the imagination, wouldja?
Green Thumb & Red Head
June 10th, 2011
8:47 am
Emily! Great to see you! Loved tip toeing through your tulips, can’t wait to stroll the hills and get back into the tulip garden. I have that special fertilizer that you love so much, lots and lots of it.
Blackfoote
June 10th, 2011
8:53 am
I don’t see anything wrong with it I haven’t sent any raunchy, racey pics but I do have a few that I keep to peek every now and then.
Pam Grier (my ultimate cougar)
Lynn Whitfield
Alfre Woodard
Vanessa Williams
Easy to tell I’m having a wishing thinking moment this Friday. You all can too.
Morning:
Leggs
June 10th, 2011
8:53 am
My goodness, where are you guys coming from?
Sexting is great. It helps to keep the embers glowing in your nether regions (lol). The anticipation of actually getting to the real stuff can make the day or night go by much quicker. BUT, do not send nude pictures of yourself. I think that’s a dumb move.
I met this guy who had a nice body, I mean real nice. We danced, enjoy convo and exchanged numbers. Woke up the next morning and lo and behold I received a pic of his appendage. I did not appreciate it, told him so and deleted his number. His ego was too big for me (and I’m not talking about his weiner)!
Big Un
June 10th, 2011
8:55 am
@Heat Guy….ain’t it the truth. I’ve gotten x-rated textes from my wife (when we were married) about how she was gonna do this to me all night and do that to me all night. Wound up being yet another “I’m tired” or some other lame excuse. People are much braver behind their cell phone than face to face. Bummer…..
Al B
June 10th, 2011
8:57 am
I would love it if the person sending the text would follow through with it, but that’s why Penthouse Forum used to be so popular. People enjoy reading and writing about wild ideas, but rarely close the deal when you find yourself face to face.
Question?
June 10th, 2011
9:03 am
I have a question for the ladies after I read that “all night long” comment. You hear about people wanting to do that, doing it many times in one night, etc. I know it depends on the situation, but in my experience, I’ve only had a handful of partners that liked to do it multiple times in an evening or like it to last longer then, say…..10-15 minutes (I’m not including foreplay. This is after the pumping begins). The women that did go all night would say that anything UNDER 15 minutes wasn’t even worth getting undressed for. I know there are quickies and they are good, but if you have all evening and you are ready to romp, what percentage of women really go longer than 10 minutes or will ask for a repeat in the same evening? My partners that did sure did leave a lasting impression on me….
Blackfoote
June 10th, 2011
9:13 am
Hello Leggs how are you today? Friday and Sex talk seem to go hand in hand……..LOL
abc
June 10th, 2011
9:20 am
Texting is for idiots. Get your nose off of your stupid phone. Sexting is for idiotic sluts, male and female alike. Grow up!
SlimNumeroUno
June 10th, 2011
9:20 am
Freaky Friday is underway…..
I enjoy a little wordplay 4-play every now and then. But I DON’T like those random videos of dudes slapping the willy in their church socks especially if I haven’t even talked to you or recognize your phone number. That’s just AWKWARD…
Lovely Brown
June 10th, 2011
9:22 am
Good Morning and Happy Friday!
His ego was too big for me (and I’m not talking about his weiner)!
Leggs- I bet it killed him when he found out you were so not impressed by him or his weiner!
There is nothing wrong with sexting, nothing at all. Great sex starts in the mind long before you get to the actual act IMO. I don’t like the idea of texting lewd pics tho. Because if things go bad…….that person has all the ammo they need to ruin you.
Blackfoote
June 10th, 2011
9:25 am
LOL……abc
Do or do not……there is no try.
Leggs
June 10th, 2011
9:30 am
@abc ~ we are grown, that’s why we sext! Try it. Let’s see how many times you read the message over and over again! j/k
Hello, Blackfoote! It’s funny, that WD jumped right into Freaky Friday before we did.
@Lovely Brown ~ he called me from another number a few weeks later asking me to send him a picture of me. I told him I don’t do that and asked why he didn’t call from his phone. He said I probably wouldn’t have picked up…
Stupid azzzz!
abc
June 10th, 2011
9:36 am
I consider people that are that stuck onto their phones to be suffering from an obsessive-compulsive disorder. When I’m not at work, I lock my phone in the trunk of my car. I am not ubiquitously available, period. Want to call me, leave a message, I’ll get back to you.
Leggs
June 10th, 2011
9:45 am
No one’s talking about being “stuck onto their phones.”
Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)
June 10th, 2011
9:46 am
Dangerous…I did, and learned my lesson too.
A lady I was seeing, and I were ‘texting’ back and forth one day, and we were getting together that evenig. I wrote her and somewhat graphically described what I was planning for the evening…never before that strong either (just takes once). Turns out my daughter texted me in the middle of this and I did not realize it and sent this to her rather than my lady friend. Not good. I would have cut off my arm to retract it but it was too late.
Do what YOU have to do…but for me it is only “PG” from now on. I don’t want to hurt someone else with my stupidity. Have one too many of those t-shirts already.
Blackfoote
June 10th, 2011
9:48 am
abc…….LOL man I know where you coming from it took me a looong time before I joined the wireless crowd. Hesitant I was till it became evident I didn’t need a land line anymore. Paying 2 phone bills made no (cents) to my pocket.
Celisea
June 10th, 2011
9:50 am
Apparently, sexting goes down sometimes before you seal the deal.
Really? Where? Sex is natural. All you need is to be feeling a person and the right conversation. I don’t agree with sexting. Always look before you leap. More often than not relationships won’t last…look at how many are divorced or getting divorced. Why would you give someone lewd pictures of yourself and there’s no guarantee of “for your eyes only?” Just too risky. Even if not risky, not classy. I’m more turned on by sexy talk “can’t wait” texts rather than lewd pictures. But then again, that’s just me. Too who’s to say ya’ll gotta break-up before a person shares? You think you sent to a confidant and he/she’s out sending to their friends. Ut uh.
Oh, morning
Mr_NYC
June 10th, 2011
9:51 am
Good morning blog peeps
Leave a little something to the imagination, but enough to keep it smoldering. Word to the wise, don’t put out there, what you don’t want the world to see. Once it’s in the cyberworld or the relationship goes bad everything could become fair game.
Mrs kimmie
June 10th, 2011
9:55 am
Morning all! Leaving Vegas in a few hours heading back to the A!
Thanx to Dreams & Purple from yesterday.
On topic: Like all other forms of technology, texting can be misused. Sexting is not much different than talking sexy & dirty over the phone. Perfectly fine for consenting adults. Probably inappropriate if u r just meeting someone, unless all u r interested in is sex. Same with the pictures – a lame move I think, but 4 some it’s okay. I never put ANYTHING in writing I don’t want ever seen again. Same goes 4 pictures.
Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)
June 10th, 2011
9:55 am
Oh and for the record, I would NEVER NEVER NEVER send a picture. I’ve seen enough pictures distributed on line worldwide to know that I have no intention of getting myself in that kind of mess.
Weiner was an idiot…and also was placing himself in a position of possibly being blackmailed. I was attached to Military Intelligence and can assure you that there have been as many betrayals by politicians because of their “Weiner” as there have been over money in spy history.
Purple Rain
June 10th, 2011
10:00 am
Texting and sexting as a primary form of communication is a no no to me. So is email, if you can not reach me by phone then try texting etc. I love sexting my wife, when either of us is not in each others presence or if we are in the presence of others. It’s fun and another way out of the norm to keep it spicey. Also, texting has put me at ease plenty of times while I was at work and was worried about her getting to a destination, how the baby was in her womb or even now when im on that loud ass tractor and can’t her we communicate by texting. I see no problem with sexting someone you are in a relationship with at all. If it’s not for you then it’s not for you.
DreamsMaterialize
June 10th, 2011
10:01 am
Morning
Ahhhh sexting. Blog ladies give me your cell numbers so we can get the sexting going. Pics too…I promise I’ll keep them to myself.
Leggs
June 10th, 2011
10:01 am
I’m with you RandyT. I don’t understand why people send nude pics. Once in cyberland, no telling…especially if there’s a bad breakup! Nothing like a spiteful, scorned lover!
SexyCool
June 10th, 2011
10:02 am
You lock your phone in the trunk of your car? What do you have to hide? Can’t you just turn it off? Aren’t you advised against exposing your phone to extreme temperatures?
I will send an occasional sexy text to TheDude. It’s fun and flirtatious. He actually really likes seeing pictures of my legs while wearing a pair of the come-get-me shoes that he buys for me. I don’t really send anything seriously x-rated. I see it as just another avenue of keeping things lively.
Um…Question…as to the do me all night long, yeah..no…kinda….It really depends on the mood and level of arousal. Women who have a 15 minute minimum time limit have lost feeling in their va-jayjays from being pounded on by unskilled partners.
Celisea
June 10th, 2011
10:03 am
Texting is fine…for me…as a backup (i.e. can’t reach, ph going to voicemail, etc) when it’s a quick note or I’m not in a place to call or talk, but not to replace talking and face to face.
SEXTING is a horse of another color. I agree, don’t take the risk of putting somethng out there that will haunt you later.
Blackfoote
June 10th, 2011
10:07 am
Celisea Hi There: I can’t figure why some folks would put lewd pics out there like they do either besides being BOLD. I’d prefer seeing a lady posing in Playboy or Players magazines. For the ladies Playgirl that’s just me.
Mrs kimmie
June 10th, 2011
10:08 am
Before sending pics via text & the Internet, folks would take dirty Polaroids or make video tapes. They would always end up in the wrong hands. Technology has just made it easier & faster to get in the wrong hands and reach a wider audience.
Cd idea – agree so not classy!
Celisea
June 10th, 2011
10:10 am
Hey there Blackfoote, how goes it. Heck I don’t care to see any nekkid pics even in magazines. Heck what’s that gonna do? LOL I don’t you from Adam, neither here nor there to me.
My friend was traveling and I sent a text that I couldn’t wait until his flight landed. Next thing I know my phone is ringing. He stepped out of his meeting and called before I could hit send almost and joked about me pulling him out his meeting…lol Didn’t need no pics to get that fuzzy feeling (and more). Talk about anticipation and build up…his flight didn’t land for another 10 hours too? I was waiting all day
Just saying you can be effective with only a few words.
Mrs kimmie
June 10th, 2011
10:10 am
Celisea, not cd!
abc
June 10th, 2011
10:11 am
Saying that I lock it in the trunk of my car is a euphemism for saying that I ignore it. I actually set it to be silent, plug it into its charger and leave it in a bowl full of miscellaneous other stuff on the kitchen counter. I’ll check it once, maybe twice a day, and will only carry it with me if my wife wants me to.
Being unavailable sometimes is a privacy issue, to me. It used to be phone etiquette when calling someone to let it ring 5-7 times and then hang up, on the presumption that they didn’t want to talk on the phone just then. It was a matter of being considerate. Then answering machines, caller ID and VM came up. Then cell phones for everyone. Then expectations that if someone didn’t answer your call, they were ignoring you on purpose, to which you’d react with indignation. I just don’t play all that.
But then, I don’t tweet, don’t Facebook, don’t text. I shun all that stuff. I hear from you folks, from co-workers, from my kids what that’s all about — in addition to research on it that I do as part of my job. Kind of like TV: I don’t watch diddly on television, I keep up with TV pop news by keeping a People magazine in the bathroom.
Celisea
June 10th, 2011
10:12 am
Celisea, not cd!
Mrs. Kimmie – That’s okay….you’re still reeling from your nuptuals…lol You’re allowed
SexyCool
June 10th, 2011
10:12 am
Mrs. kimmie – quite true. I remember being 7 or 8 years old, finding polaroids of one of my uncle’s girlfriends. Um, yeah…can you say TRAUMAtized?!?!? (lol)
Celisea
June 10th, 2011
10:15 am
abc – Being unavailable sometimes is a privacy issue, to me. It used to be phone etiquette when calling someone to let it ring 5-7 times and then hang up, on the presumption that they didn’t want to talk
If I’m texting you because I can’t get you, more than likely it’s an emergency or something that need to happen rather urgently. Too, people that didn’t answer or can’t answer or haven’t answered is not necessarily avoiding a call….SOMETIMES THEY CAN’T ANSWER FOR REAL!!! Just because it’s something you do or your reasoning for not doing, doesn’t mean it applies to all. You should set the etiquette for EVERYTHING by how you do and/or whether or not you do. Just because you do or don’t do it don’t always make it the right thing to do or not do…
Celisea
June 10th, 2011
10:16 am
You SHOULDN’T set the etiquette…is what I meant
SexyCool
June 10th, 2011
10:18 am
Oh…okay..understood. Because yeah, I was taking your statement literally. I feel ya.
After TheDude gets home, I usually set my BB to “phone only” or turn put it on silent. I figure text messages and emails are not that important. Phone calls I screen.
Although, sometimes, I will text, email or cruise FB when we’re watching something on tv, usually National Geographic, that he’s more interested in than I am.
And when I inevitably get those, why didn’t you answer my call/respond to my text questions, I respond with “Well, sometimes, I’m just not available.”
Celisea
June 10th, 2011
10:18 am
are
Exiled!
June 10th, 2011
10:19 am
Graphic sexting is just immature and shows insecurity!
I don’t mind texting flirtatious prose but I would never send any woman my Wang Wang? To achieve what?
Even women who sext their nethers are just stupid,immature and desperate nephos(sp). Ofcourse
guys will take advantage and falsely give u props coz they want to smash!
Now,it’s even more hilarious and sad at the same time when a guy(woman) texts wiener/puddy to a chic/man he has never met!
Celisea
June 10th, 2011
10:21 am
Now,it’s even more hilarious and sad at the same time when a guy(woman) texts wiener/puddy to a chic/man he has never met!
…and a bit presumptous too
Blackfoote
June 10th, 2011
10:21 am
Mrs. Kimmie happy trails to the newlyweds. Tell me y’all went on the gondola ride in the Venetian with the singing gondoliers. It’s romantic you really think you’re in Italy.