Dating: Should ladies let it all hang out?
I read something funny that caught my eye and reminded me about something: A guy said , “Girls spend too much time deciding what to wear; like guys aren’t picturing them naked the whole time.”
It was funny because I had just gone on a date Saturday night and spent no less than 2 hours doing pre-date rituals (Admittedly, I’m crushing hard on the guy, it’s usually 45 minutes prep time.) Then, as I checked the mirror and headed down the stairs I thought, “I actually want him to like me in sweatpants and a t-shirt too!”
Everyone wants to make a good impression when it’s new but there is something to be said about reaching that stage where you can remove your bra and eat frozen yogurt in front of your man. I’m anxious to get there but I know the importance of getting dolled up and feeling confident on a date.
So be honest guys, how much of the hair, makeup, and clothes are you really paying attention to?
If your date went totally casual, all natural, “carefree” when she shows up, would you admire her and think it’s refreshing? Would you wonder why she made no effort in being sexy for you?
Do men ever go overboard with grooming and preparing for a night out with someone?
Ladies, do you ever want to just put your hair in a ponytail and go on a totally effortless date? What kind of reaction do you think you would get? Are you the type that keeps it simple in your appearance or do you go full on glam?
P.S. A lot ladeies are picturing guys totally naked too. Just sayin’
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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140 comments Add your comment
Mrs. Tazzee
May 23rd, 2011
11:10 am
Morning Folks!
I always started dating guys with the casual look. Very little makeup if any because that’s how I am 99.9% of the time.
When I was a teen, I vowed to never cross over into what I called the ‘makeup zone’ – it’s what SlimNu described, where a woman looks sick without her makeup. Just the other day I was saying I probably should start wearing something more than gloss on a daily basis (eyeliner, mascara) – but naw, I’ll continue to go au naturale.
Lovely Brown
May 23rd, 2011
11:15 am
@ abc- I would never base my actions or opinions on anything I have ever seen in a bar. I would be beyond lost lol!
Just telling what I have seen.
@ Dan- peacocking….I like that!
kimmie
May 23rd, 2011
11:16 am
Lovely – I agree, and it’s not just the bar scene, but everywhere. I don’t see the “Mabelline” chicks with a shortage of men on their arms.
Dan – It is not always a low self esteem thing. Sometimes it can be cultural. I have a latino friend that is all about the bling on everything. Everything has to have sparkle or glitter on it, from her makeup to shoes. Clothes are super-tight. Makeup always a little overdone. Other like individuals – fixed up exactly like her. She exudeds confidence and her husband seems to worship the ground she walks on.
Dan - Simply....Superior
May 23rd, 2011
11:17 am
Yeah Kimmie,
But like “confidence”, “trying too hard” is a very thin line for DTM.
The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)
May 23rd, 2011
11:17 am
Being well dressed and painting on the makeup are two separate issues, in my opinion. And how you dress is mostly dependent on the setting. As long as it’s appropriate and you wear it well, cool. I’m never a fan of a lot of make up. Some lipstick, maybe a little eye-liner if you want glam it up on occasion, but give me a natural face over Tammy Faye Baker any day.
kimmie
May 23rd, 2011
11:18 am
You should NOT take your mate for granted. – Oops!
Celisea
May 23rd, 2011
11:19 am
I just don’t know of many ladies that are that devestatingly beautiful that can walk out without a stitch of makeup and not even run a comb thru their hair
I’m one that’s not worn make-up. The most I’ve done is brown gloss…nothing else. I’ve never bought cleansers or any skin products either. I do the same thing I’ve always done. Wash every morning with a separate clean washcloth…no soap, warm water followed by a very simple bland lotion to keep moisture. No blemishes, no bumps….nothing. Of us girls 2 of us had skin like this and the other 2 battled acne for years. I’m also a girly girl…very much so. I love womenly type stuff, sexy clothes and especially sexy shoes. Feminism though is not the essense of applying make-up.
SexyCool
May 23rd, 2011
11:20 am
Some of the most natural looking folk I’ve seen have been wearing some of the most skillfully applied makeup. Because really, if you’re doing it right or unless you’re going for a dramatic look, you really shouldn’t be able to tell you are wearing it.
“Your makeup looks nice.” is not always a compliment. Sometimes, it means “Wow…you must have on five pounds of makeup.”
Make up should enhance. It shouldn’t scream “Look at me. I bought out the MAC counter.”
Celisea
May 23rd, 2011
11:21 am
Wait…twice I’ve worn makeup….I was Ms. 12th Grade and some sort of club queen my 10th grade year. For coronation and for homecoming.
Celisea
May 23rd, 2011
11:21 am
4 times then…if you’re counting
Lovely Brown
May 23rd, 2011
11:24 am
doesn’t everyone deserve to look a little special every now and them? If not for your mate, just to feel good yourself?
I like to dress up sometime for just for me. When you look good, you feel good.
As far as my husband goes- When I stayed at home I would try my best to look better than I did when he left for work in morning. Who wants to come home to someone looking all crazy? Especially when they have been surrounded by ‘peacocks’
all day.
Celisea
May 23rd, 2011
11:25 am
Lovely Brown – When you look good, you feel good.
Exactly…
kimmie
May 23rd, 2011
11:25 am
Dan – I’m just saying, what may appear to be “trying to hard” is just a regular day for some people. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.
The latino friend and I were looking at some pictures of a celebrity guy with his new girlfriend. The girlfriend looked like a model and was gorgeous. She had a nice hairstyle, minimal makeup look and a cute dress on with minimal jewelry. Her look looked effortless and elegant. My friend commented that she looked too “simple”.
kimmie
May 23rd, 2011
11:28 am
Feminism though is not the essense of applying make-up.
Celisea – I agree. It is all-encompassing. And you are fortunate to have such lovely skin that you can maintain on a simple regimen- that is one of the best assets you can have in my opinion. But that is just not reality for a lot of ladies, is all I am really saying. A lot of makeup caked on can make a bad skin problem worse too.
SexyCool
May 23rd, 2011
11:29 am
Then there are folks that looked washed out when they are not wearing makeup…case in point…all those “stars without makeup” photos.
Celisea
May 23rd, 2011
11:33 am
Kimmie – A lot of makeup caked on can make a bad skin problem worse too.
Yep, true. IMO, it seems like a person’s skin/face sort of becomes dependant on “needing” makeup if it’s a ritual that’s been done over the years. Talk about folks looking extreme without it, I have seen some folks where you want them to put their face back on. Whatever works for each person.
abc
May 23rd, 2011
11:37 am
I’d speculate that if there’s that big a difference in the way one looks with and without makeup, then you’re wearing way too much makeup.
I think that if you spend a lot of time and effort with makeup in order to ‘look natural’, you probably don’t really look that natural. Clean is fine. Look the way you really are.
DreamsMaterialize
May 23rd, 2011
11:41 am
it seems like a person’s skin/face sort of becomes dependant on “needing” makeup if it’s a ritual that’s been done over the years.
Celisea This is actually true. Your body is resillient and naturally produces oils and chemicals to moisturize your skin and cleanse your skin. So, when you continually put on moisturizer, cleansers, and makeup you’re tricking your body into thinking it no longer has to produce these natural chemicals and oils. What you’ve acually done is stripped your body of the ability to perform it’s natural functions, making it chemically dependent on these artificial chemicals.
kimmie
May 23rd, 2011
11:42 am
it seems like a person’s skin/face sort of becomes dependant on “needing” makeup if it’s a ritual that’s been done over the years.
Celisea – I could not put my finger on it, but so true! For me, a little helps protect my skin from the elements. Most people think I don’t wear anything. When I do add a little eyeshadow or blush, it definitly looks special to people when they see me.
What I hate to see is a completely natural and shiny/oily look in pictures for a special occasion, like a wedding or special event. You really should put forth a little more effort when you are being photographed or will be on tv, especially with this high-definition now. I’ve seen a few bridal pictures, and when they look back they are going to regret it. I know they wanted to look soft and natural, but yet they came out washed out and greasy, like they just got out of bed and put on a wedding dress!
Purple Rain
May 23rd, 2011
12:00 pm
It’s attractive when someone is comfortable in the skin that they are in. I don’t like make up on a woman, but I do like manicured nails, nice hair etc. As far as clothes go as long as she has a sense of style I am fine with that. Basically just take pride in your appearance without going over board.
Celisea
May 23rd, 2011
12:10 pm
Exactly Kimmie/Dreams.
I remember my mama buying those compact sponges from Reed’s Drug store with several in a pact that would consume oil. She sometimes carried a compact and sometimes she’d have just those sponges. If she felt “shiny” she’d sponge her forehead, cheeks and chin
Celisea
May 23rd, 2011
12:13 pm
The stockbroker was cool with no makeup but he HATED my nails. Go figure…lol They weren’t dirty or ragged, nor looked like bird claws….he just didn’t like them. He told me over dinner, cut your nails off or get them done. Of course he was king pedi/mani.
DreamsMaterialize
May 23rd, 2011
12:13 pm
In other news:
Camping’s PR aide, Tom Evans, told the LA Times that the group is “disappointed” that 200,000 true believers weren’t lifted up to heaven on Saturday while everyone else suffered and eventually died as a series of earthquakes and famine destroyed the Earth.
So were they disappointed that they weren’t saved or that everyone else didn’t suffer?
Celisea
May 23rd, 2011
12:14 pm
pack not pact
Willie Dynamite
May 23rd, 2011
12:16 pm
Afternoon All,
Put me in the effortless category. I dont mind a little make-up and whatnot. Heavy make-up is a turn off. I am totally against having to spend hours just to go out. To me the confidence behind ‘the look’ is what gets me. Sure for some Women the made up look gives them confidence but thats temporary IMO. natural beauty is a misnomer. I dont think the chick that pays no attention to her look is anymore natural than the one that applies minimal makeup. I just want you to be comfortable in your skin and not make us late cause you in the mirror past our reservation time. And to be a Man, you gon sweat that make-up and perm out anyway in a few. Then what???
at1981
May 23rd, 2011
12:23 pm
Yes!!!!! That is what I want to see! The “uniform” is a turnoff……”uniform” meaning when the high heels and tight jeans makes a woman look sexier than they actually are by accentuating their hips and butt and she has on more makeup than usual. I’ve learned to spot that a mile away now if a woman is really sexy in that getup or if its just a “uniform” where her sexiness stock will go down once she is dressed down! I prefer a very casual, low key, no stress 1st date where we both are dressed down, so we can see the real “us”. If she is sexy to me in flat shoes, plain jeans and a top, and with very little makeup on…….then I KNOW she will be even more sexy with the heels, tight jeans, and more makeup on!!!
Purple Rain
May 23rd, 2011
12:29 pm
Basically I want the breast to hang , stomach to be as flat and ass to curve just the same naked as she is clothed. I am a fitness freak and could only be married to another fitness freak. Make up I don’t understand the dynamics of it except to say that I do not like a lot of it.
Willie Dynamite
May 23rd, 2011
12:32 pm
I just want to recognize you in the morning, afternoon, evening without all the controlled mechanisms. If I’m attracted to you in the produce section without all the pretenses then we good. Personally if I think you made yourself up just to run some errands or go to the grocery store then I may smile and compliment you but K.I.M.
Willie Dynamite
May 23rd, 2011
12:39 pm
In addition, The eye contact you make with me when we are talking and not the compact you keep lookin at while applying touch ups to your makeup. The smile in your voice when I say something silly but true that hits home. The smile on your face when I say something or do something that makes you squirm but not wanting me to stop or change the subject. That is what matters to me not what shade eye-liner or lip gloss you have on. But then again I may be wrong.
Purple Rain
May 23rd, 2011
12:47 pm
Yet another reason to get to know the woman’s family. Do all of the “sit well” as the age? LOL
Celisea
May 23rd, 2011
12:52 pm
PR – Yet another reason to get to know the woman’s family. Do all of the “sit well” as the age
My mama is heavyset, always have been and so are all my sisters and brothers…I’m the only one that’s not fat. My daddy was always a nice size. Even as he aged, he didn’t have a lot of sagging skin and had a slight pooch but for the most part he aged very well
Celisea
May 23rd, 2011
12:54 pm
…my point was (12:52) sometimes not. Things skip around. Genetics can sometimes be funny
Purple Rain
May 23rd, 2011
12:55 pm
See Celisea, I would have just missed out on you then.
Everyone but you… I would have thought that it was coming eventually.
Willie Dynamite
May 23rd, 2011
12:57 pm
Celisea – yep you are right, genetics can be a wild card. My MIL is 5foot nothing, My FIL is 5foot 3, My BIL is 5foot 4 but my wife is 6 foot. She has very tall people in her family but if I only looked at immediate family I’d think she was adopted.
The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)
May 23rd, 2011
12:59 pm
Willie D — How tall was their mail man?
Purple Rain
May 23rd, 2011
12:59 pm
That just a risk I nor my truck suspension can take. LOL
Celisea
May 23rd, 2011
1:03 pm
Too, my mom’s mother was a red head with really long hair. My mom was the only one that took after her father. All of her sisters were fair skin and red heads..naturally. My mom sisters all resemble their mother.
Celisea
May 23rd, 2011
1:10 pm
PR – I would have thought that it was coming eventually.
Well given that I’m not exactly a teenager anymore, I can’t just induldge like I use too…lol I’m about to hit the sidewalk now. Really though, I can pretty much eat anything as long as I don’t over induldge. Sweets are going to be the death of me. As long as I’m eating hearty well balanced meals, I don’t gain a thing. If it’s junk food though, a couple of days of that and I can tell in my clothes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not skinny nor do I look 25…cause I’m not but I can’t complain.
Willie – That’s wild…6 feet and everyone else in short? Yeah, there was some dna/gene jumping in her family.
Even to us (me and sibs) the girls favor in pairs. My and one sister favor, then the other 2 and the pairs look nothing alike. My brothers are 3 that favor and 1 that looks nothing like them or my mom or my pops…maybe he was adopted…lol Actually he favors my grandmother…the only of 8 kids to look like my mom’s mom.
SlimNu
May 23rd, 2011
1:12 pm
A lot of folks in my fam are actually pretty tall so I’m not certain why i’m as short as I am. Maybe I took after my grandmother who isn’t really that tall.
Willie Dynamite
May 23rd, 2011
1:26 pm
swiss – thats funny cause when I first met them i had no idea. Me being the a-hole that I am I mentioned something along those lines and got the side-eye. Then as I met moer of the family i understood. Heyal that was the first time I actually met a native-american. Black folks always talk about I got indian in my family. Well sure enough Great Grandma and Great Aunts straight off the reservation.
Purple Rain
May 23rd, 2011
1:30 pm
Celisea, I can understand that. I rarely eat junk food at all our family dinners put moe over the edge calorie wise sometimes but I just stay on top of it. LOL
Willie, there are bunches of Native American’s up here on and off the reservations. Pretty women!
SlimNu
May 23rd, 2011
2:08 pm
I guess all of blogsville left to go touch up their make-up or powder their nose. Yaaaaawnnnn
Purple Rain
May 23rd, 2011
2:08 pm
Check your email,
Purple Rain
May 23rd, 2011
2:08 pm
Not you Slim, LOL
DreamsMaterialize
May 23rd, 2011
2:16 pm
I guess all of blogsville left to go touch up their make-up or powder their nose.
Slim Or maybe they were taken to heaven Saturday and we’re what’s left. Strange though cuz that would mean that Celisea and abc didn’t make it, but me.lo did. lol
Celisea
May 23rd, 2011
2:24 pm
Dreams – It didn’t happen…but it’s gonna
SlimNu
May 23rd, 2011
2:26 pm
Dreams – Or maybe we’re the only ones left in Hell on Earth. lol
Purple Rain
May 23rd, 2011
2:27 pm
Dreams, that was funny! LOL
Celisea
May 23rd, 2011
2:27 pm
Dreams – Mmmm hmmm, why just me and abc? Why MMEELLOO? Mmm hmmm
Celisea
May 23rd, 2011
2:28 pm
Why is that “strange?” Whatchu tryna say?