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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Dating: Should ladies let it all hang out?

I read something funny that caught my eye and reminded me about something: A guy said , “Girls spend too much time deciding what to wear; like guys aren’t picturing them naked the whole time.”

It was funny because I had just gone on a date Saturday night and spent no less than 2 hours doing pre-date rituals (Admittedly, I’m crushing hard on the guy, it’s usually 45 minutes prep time.)  Then, as I checked the mirror and headed down the stairs I thought, “I actually want him to like me in sweatpants and a t-shirt too!”

Everyone wants to make a good impression when it’s new but there is something to be said about reaching that stage where you can remove your bra and eat frozen yogurt in front of your man. I’m anxious to get there but I know the importance of getting dolled up and feeling confident on a date.

So be honest guys, how much of the hair, makeup, and clothes are you really paying attention to?

If your date went totally casual, all natural, “carefree” when she shows up, would you admire her and think it’s refreshing?  Would you wonder why she made no effort in being sexy for you?

Do men ever go overboard with grooming and preparing for a night out with someone?

Ladies, do you ever want to just put your hair in a ponytail and go on a totally effortless date?  What kind of reaction do you think you would get?  Are you the type that keeps it simple in your appearance or do you go full on glam?

P.S. A lot ladeies are picturing guys totally naked too. Just sayin’

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

140 comments Add your comment

ASB

May 23rd, 2011
6:32 am

It depends. A first date could be a tennis date or something athletic. From my perspective and experience, many men want a woman who is versatile…comfortable at a game or a black tie affair.

My male friends emphasize women are too concerned with packaging their bodies (hair, nails, clothes, body enhancing or body sculpting underwear, etc.) and not keeping their bodies in shape.

JL

May 23rd, 2011
7:05 am

Women tend to notice what other women are wearing more than men do. Men want to know how you look in it (and out of it). Warm ups can be just as sexy as a dress and heels. It’s the woman inside the clothes that interests us. All the other stuff – hair, make-up etc – is mostly for other women. I’ve never been in a group of men that commented on a hair style, but that’s the only conversation going with a group of women.

the watch dog

May 23rd, 2011
7:20 am

That is a great question. I really like it. Girls are far more realistric than guys. Guys want their girl friend to let it all”hang out”, otherwise, being casual. Now girls, are far more interested in a guys earning potential than what they are wearing. Believe me, it is true. Take myself, I do not have a great sum of wealth, consequently, the girls are only minimally interested. That being said, I keep myself in perfect condition, which they seem to like.

Laura B

May 23rd, 2011
7:22 am

I generally keep my look pretty natural, but that is mostly due to the fact that I’m not very good with make up. I just cover up any imperfections on my skin and tend to dress nice while still maintaining comfort. I’m also quite tall so I don’t go to heels very often.

JackLeg

May 23rd, 2011
7:48 am

If you don’t have a good canvas all the paint in the world will not make a work of art…
:-)

Toby

May 23rd, 2011
7:51 am

The topic is too contrived for me to comment on other than noting that this, the US, is a sexist society, largely, against women & that is unethical. Women earned the right to vote less than one hundred years ago (within living memory), here, and the feminist movement is only about 50 years old: ethics is still progressing & talk about dolling one self up, instead of asking about ‘how to do good’ is highly questionable. Women should be free to dress as they please (the law which allows men to go shirtless & not women is clearly sexist and immoral) & ‘what men want’ shoud not be a primary concern.

CoolShadow

May 23rd, 2011
7:53 am

Naturally beautiful who don’t rely heavily on the external distractions (i.e., makeup, clothing, bling, etc.) are a plus. Generally speaking, true beauty might be camouflaged but not hidden. There have been situations where I have been awed by a random beauty in the supermarket dressed in Saturday morning casual gear whereas I’ve been in a formal setting where a woman was Paris runway ready and I was mildly impressed at best. To me, natural beauty and sexiness are parallel in that when it’s natural and organic, it radiates on its own. However, when those factors seemed overly contrived by a woman, it feels like she’s either trying too hard for attention or maybe doesn’t really know how to enhance what she naturally has (or simply ain’t got it). The less makeup a woman has to wear, the better.

@Leggs – what’s up lady, how have you been? You threw me a shout out Friday but didn’t notice until reading the blog again after it was closed.

CoolShadow

May 23rd, 2011
7:57 am

That shoul’ve read, “Naturally beautiful women”…

NIght Train

May 23rd, 2011
7:58 am

Lose the war paint ladies. Natural to very little is all that is needed. Eventually we will see you without the makeup and ‘false advertising’ has ended many relationships. If you think you need all that makeup to look good, you must not think very highly of yourself.

Less is better.

CoolShadow

May 23rd, 2011
8:00 am

That should be should’ve

Greg S.

May 23rd, 2011
8:01 am

Less is more is my rule. If you watch Survivor you’ll know what I mean. Most of the time the ladies look much better on the island than they do when they come back and are all made up. Women are just naturally attractive to men. So play to your natural beauty and you’ll be fine.

joe

May 23rd, 2011
8:14 am

Is this really STILL a question? This one’s easy… if you want to attract men that are only interested in how you look then by all means glam it up. If you want to attract someone deeper then keep it real. Some of us guys can see right through your cosmetic masks to who you really are and in many cases it’s not pretty.

Vidal Sasooooon

May 23rd, 2011
8:16 am

If you still got it,
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Let it all hang out with no make-up.

Bill Clinton

May 23rd, 2011
8:18 am

I like the ladies….

Bill Clinton

May 23rd, 2011
8:22 am

Actually, I like the BIG ladies…

Le Siren (coming out of lurking mode...)

May 23rd, 2011
8:31 am

I fully expected men to answer with the “natural beauty is best” response, however, let’s just keep it real for a moment. When you listen to men talk about their “fantasy” women, or the women they find most beautiful in the entertainment industry, very rarely do you hear the names of any “natural beauties”. Most often, they’re talking about very glamourous women who put a great deal of time and effort into their bodies and appearance. Men are visual creatures, period.
Also, alot of women who appear to be “natural” beauties, myself included;), DO put alot of time and effort into their appearance. This includes time in the gym, nail salon, spa, ect. You’d be hard pressed to find an attractive woman who didn’t put ANY effort into her look!

growing older, but not up

May 23rd, 2011
8:38 am

I don’t know about dressing all the way down to sweat pants, but I do like to see jeans and a t-shirt.

czBrat

May 23rd, 2011
8:49 am

let’s see … first date i wore sweats, pony tail, no makeup. second was an after work meetup so not at all glam and sexy. third date, dinner at his house … i showed up in jeans, sneaks and a tee. s/o and i didn’t do it up hot and sexy for a night out together until about our fourth or fifth date. we were already very impressed with each other “as is”.

cool, it’s absurd the number of times i’m approached at the supermarket looking a few small steps away from homeless :lol: i realize some men make that arena a regular hunting ground, but i can’t help smh at the thought that there are soooo many other chicks around who took the time to comb their hair, why not go harass one of them? :lol:

morning all!

SexyCool

May 23rd, 2011
8:53 am

Nobody wants to be with someone who looks like they made no effort. A natural, simple look is one thing. Looking like you are about to scrub floors or mow the yard is something else altogether.

George P Burdell

May 23rd, 2011
8:55 am

This is an unfortunate example of women tranferring their female-to-female behavior onto female-to-male relationship. Women will spend hours talking to each other about what they will wear when they go out together. For some women, she’ll want to be “slightly” better dressed than the other women in their group so that she has more power. Unfortunately, this subliminal message does not come across in a female-to-male date. A guy sees a woman dressing up for him as a compliment to him. He may see “putting it out there” as meaning she wants to put it out for him (figuratively and literally). I know this is not always the case, but that is the message sent when a women overdresses for an occasion.

Simple Man.....

May 23rd, 2011
8:58 am

Morning Peeps!! (CZ hope your weekend went well)….
Guys fully grasp a concept that alot of women seem to miss….. If she is on point when we see her in “jeans and a T-Shirt, then we KNOW she is going to be nice when she dresses to impress…We (most of us anyway, make our appearence choices about us and not ladies….

CoolShadow

May 23rd, 2011
9:07 am

@czBrat – apparently you’ve got that sumthin’ sumthin’ :)

But that was what I was alluding to is that some women put it together and make it look effortlessly, while some make an apparent effort to glam up and still don’t measure up. I can’t pinpoint why that is sometimes except there’s something about a woman who’s gorgeous and exudes sensuality and wears it like a classy perfume and makes it look like it was done with little or no effort.

czBrat

May 23rd, 2011
9:21 am

:wink: @ cool. :grin:

i had an ab fab weekend, simple. thanx so much for asking. i hope yours was a blast too.

obviously, this all boils down to personal preference. getting dressed to the 9s was never my method for snagging a beau. i’m much more likely to respond to the guy who is drawn to me in my bare essence.

Simple Man.....

May 23rd, 2011
9:22 am

CZ…In Pa. working until the end of the week….Can’t wait to get home!! The weather here is TERRIBLE!!!!

Celisea

May 23rd, 2011
9:25 am

Morning,

I looooove the comments from the men today because I’ve NEVER been one that wore or needed to wear globs of makeup. My daugther was snuggling up next to me last week and said “mama you have beautiful skin” :)

I agree with Cool Shadow in that natural beauty and sexy are parallel and radiates on their own. Confidence is key. The exterior radiate when you inner beauty and confidence comes through.

Celisea

May 23rd, 2011
9:26 am

radiates and your not you

SexyCool

May 23rd, 2011
9:37 am

I know P-lito is somewhere in Minnesota. Is he close to Minneapolis?

abc

May 23rd, 2011
9:38 am

Most guys don’t go for the makeup-like-cake-frosting look. We’d rather see you the way you really look. Clean is good.

czBrat

May 23rd, 2011
9:45 am

btw, good to read you guys this morning. considering saturday was the end of the world, looks like we’re the ones who missed the rapture. i can happily state that i am in good company. :lol:

Dan - Simply....Superior

May 23rd, 2011
9:47 am

The tornado hit near my girls house, SC, P-Lito is further north.

Luckily most of the family was at the mall, there’s no major damage thus far..

SexyCool

May 23rd, 2011
9:53 am

Glad to know that your folks are safe.

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

May 23rd, 2011
10:05 am

Toby — Um, mostly what I heard in your post was, “Blah, blah, blah, whine, whine, blah blah.”

But this: “the law which allows men to go shirtless & not women is clearly sexist and immoral” — I completely agree with. :lol:

Morning, blogville…

Dan - Simply....Superior

May 23rd, 2011
10:09 am

@SC

Yeah, it was a little nerve wrecking to say the least, some folks don’t do well in crisis situations…

On topic:

I love a dressed down woman, to show up that way exudes confidence and the “don’t care” attitude that I’m attracted to.

Too much make-up, clothing, etc. shows me that you’re trying to hard. It’s like going out and seeing guys and girls in the latest trend in fashion. Yeah, you’re “so fresh and so clean”, but really, you’re peacocking.

My advice, do as little as makes you comfortable and let the inner you show. Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to da bone

SexyCool

May 23rd, 2011
10:34 am

One of my besties has been married for 20years and still does not like her husband to see her without her makeup.

SlimNu

May 23rd, 2011
10:39 am

SexyCool – I would not ever want to be that dependent upon make-up. I know a chick who will not leave the house without ‘putting her face on’. And to me, it’s strange to use that expression but if you’ve ever seen a person who religiously wear makeup, without makeup, then you know exactly what they mean because they almost look nekked, sick, etc.

Oh yeah, good morning to all the survivors of the rapture from Saturday.

Celisea

May 23rd, 2011
10:44 am

My coworker says his parents have been married about 34 years and she gets up 30 minutes ahead of his dad to do her face. Say what? Ut uh. We’ve had a couple of kids done the do a gazillion times, you’ve seen my O face and I’m worried about how I appear before you without make-up? I know this is going to see brash but really, that’s dang silly after 34 years.

abc

May 23rd, 2011
10:46 am

The rapture story is remarkable to me because those involved weren’t treated completely and only as simple-minded crackpots. To me, that showed that folks were thinking “hm… maybe… what if?” Which is a pretty good thing in some ways.

Celisea

May 23rd, 2011
10:47 am

Simple Man.....

May 23rd, 2011
10:49 am

“We’ve had a couple of kids done the do a gazillion times, you’ve seen my O face and I’m worried about how I appear before you without make-up? I know this is going to see brash but really, that’s dang silly after 34 years.”

LOL….(Co-signing)

czBrat

May 23rd, 2011
10:59 am

Celisea/SCool, i do believe that’s more common in our parents’ generation. goes along with the comment about seeing the O face. i think they’re “lights off” kinda folk. just guessing.

Lovely Brown

May 23rd, 2011
11:00 am

Good Morning to all!

Men always say they don’t like the makeup, hair , etc. but when I was single and hitting the club the ‘makeup chicks’ always got the most attention……

abc

May 23rd, 2011
11:02 am

Lovely… you’d base your actions upon behaviors observed in a bar? Really?

Hm, maybe, possibly. I admit to being unfamiliar with the bar scene. That said, I’d submit that you’re unlikely to meet anyone of significance in a bar. It’s a trifling scene, in my view — but, like I said, I don’t go there, so what do I know.

Celisea

May 23rd, 2011
11:04 am

abc – To me, that showed that folks were thinking “hm… maybe… what if?” Which is a pretty good thing in some ways.

I agree….Funny you should mention…this same thing came up in church yesterday. A lady came by Saturday (kids are there on the weekend playing games and ball) and was crying because she didn’t know if it was true and said she wasn’t “ready.” As a result, a couple of the ladies sat her down and explained to her what she needed to know in accepting Christ.

Celisea

May 23rd, 2011
11:05 am

czBrat – LOLOL…yep, I’m agreeing with the “lights out” comment

Dan - Simply....Superior

May 23rd, 2011
11:07 am

@LB

I didn’t say I wouldn’t knock a peacocking chick, as I would. They are the one’s with the lowest self-esteem in the place.

And like all animals, humans sense weakness….

abc

May 23rd, 2011
11:07 am

The pastor said “Good to see you all here this morning… or is it?” Nudge nudge wink wink.

DreamsMaterialize

May 23rd, 2011
11:07 am

If your date went totally casual, all natural, “carefree” when she shows up, would you admire her and think it’s refreshing? Would you wonder why she made no effort in being sexy for you?
So are you implying that “all natural” takes no effort or that is isn’t sexy? I know plenty “all natural” girls, who are very sexy. They’ll all tell you that natural doesn’t mean no effort. Your hair, skin, nails, whatever still require proper care, even in their natural state.

kimmie

May 23rd, 2011
11:07 am

Morning Peeps! Beautiful Monday!

I have never been one to “let it all hang out”. I agree, SCool, I can’t get the mindset that one should not put forth any effort at all.

I like to look nice. Getting prepared for the date, whether you are going full-out glam or casual going bowling, is part of the fun. I’m a girly-girl, don’t take that away from me! I don’t wear much makeup, but a little is perfectly fine. I’m sorry, I just don’t know of many ladies that are that devestatingly beautiful that can walk out without a stitch of makeup and not even run a comb thru their hair. Yes, some guys say they do, and that’s wonderful for you. At least some lip gloss is in order! If one has pretty skin, granted much is not needed. Of course, some overdo it. But to let some of you in on a secret – even the “natural look” is not really “natural”, especially on people you see on tv!! It’s makeup, honey. Actually that’s the way it’s SUPPOSED to look, like you’re not wearing any.

I actually see the problem with some being just the opposite – some folks let it hang out too soon or too often. You should take your mate for granted. Sure, getting up before them & applying makeup is a bit much, but doesn’t everyone deserve to look a little special every now and them? If not for your mate, just to feel good yourself?

Even if one is “trying too hard”, at least they are trying.

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

May 23rd, 2011
11:08 am

“The rapture story is remarkable to me because those involved weren’t treated completely and only as simple-minded crackpots”

I must have missed that memo… :lol:

SlimNu

May 23rd, 2011
11:10 am

Mrs. Tazzee, I will use eye liner at times and a lip gloss but I hardly do the full on make up face. So if one can appreciate how I look on mainly day to day, when we go out and I spruce it up a bit, they can appreciate that just as much. But i’m not a guy so I can’t really speak for them on if that’s an issue with them or not.