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Dating: Attracted to a new type?

Breaking news folks:  The type of person you are attracted to changes. I don’t know the exact moment it happens but your type dramatically changes.  If you’re smart, it gets better and makes more sense.  If you are stuck on stupid..well, then you will probably continue to have a series of trainwreck relationships.

What’s really funny is that you sort of need to take self-inventory from time to time.  It’s almost like you have to remind your self that dating “wildly inappropriate” has a limited shelf life.  You realize that you have had, dare I say, personal growth?  Often it’s a result of some reality checks here and there, but the point is you realize you have changed, thereby your outlook on dating has too.

I would always chase the arrogant, self-confident guys before. Now, I find out that the quiet, reserved guys are more compatible and catch my eye faster.  Who knew!

Have you ever been surprised at the people you are dating or attracted to now? Do you ever think, “Wait, what’s really my type?

If you are in a relationship, do you think you could have been attracted to them 5 years ago?

How has your type changed over time?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

420 comments Add your comment

LG

May 20th, 2011
6:15 am

As Dr Wayne Dyer says: You attract who you are. When you become the kind of person you want to date, then you attract that person.

MzNewy

May 20th, 2011
7:26 am

hmmm my type has changed. I used to like the wildly unpredictable life of the party guy. I love the strong silent type now. I always liked them to be intelligent and able to converse on many different levels and topics. But what is so funny that as my type changed, so did my current beau. As I mentioned yesterday, we dated 16 years ago and we are once again dating but we have both matured over the years. He was the life of the party then and is now the strong silent type. An observer.

Angel

May 20th, 2011
7:51 am

Love this! My type changed too, I now date men that are not as cute, but a lot smarter and definetly more responsible. <3

Angel

May 20th, 2011
7:52 am

Nativeson71

May 20th, 2011
8:03 am

If you are chronicly depressed, cant balance your check book, or a slob…get the EF out. LOL

Lovely Brown

May 20th, 2011
8:17 am

Good Morning, Happy Friday to all! :-)

I’m married but I still have eyes ;-)

The men that I find attractive are nothing like my husband……

CoolShadow

May 20th, 2011
8:34 am

How has your type changed over time?

When I was younger, the focus of my “type” was heavy on physicality. Now that I’m more mature, my focus is still on physicality but with not as much emphasis, and intellectual capacity and compatibility has become equally as important. I’ve also expanded the spectrum on what I consider my type, becoming more open-minded yet refined at the same time.

MzNewy

May 20th, 2011
8:34 am

@Lovely – lol girl that ring didn’t make you blind ;)

But your type “physically” aren’t like him but what about personality wise?

Ark2011

May 20th, 2011
8:42 am

I’d have to say that I like the tall, toned type, physically. Personality wise, I’ll take the outgoing, happy, non-psycho with a libido a mile wide. In other words, there aren’t many to go around but I still like ‘em.

Wifey

May 20th, 2011
8:44 am

I’d like a man that is well built, green eyes and tall. They would also be affectionate, considerate, and smart. But if I can’t get the personality, I’ll make do with the physical aspects for a while…lol

Becca

May 20th, 2011
8:47 am

OK, take my husband and then picture the total opposite. THAT’S what I’m attracted to.

Al

May 20th, 2011
8:49 am

38D-24-36 is one hell of a starting point.

Lana

May 20th, 2011
8:52 am

Funny comments…love it. I’ll take a financially secure man over 5′11″, around 200 lbs, considerate, respectful, great cook, full lips, great kisser and the ability to make my thighs quiver from any angle. You got my vote.

MC Hammock

May 20th, 2011
8:53 am

My tatse hasn’t really changed. I just wish there were more of them around……and that I could have them. LOL

Leggs

May 20th, 2011
8:53 am

Good morning, everyone!

Hey there CoolShadow! How’s it going?

Not sure if my type has changed. I like strong, outgoing, confident men. I like one who can joke, laugh at themselves and not be so serious ALL THE TIME.

Larry

May 20th, 2011
8:57 am

I’d be just doing cartwheels if I could have a woman that isn’t going through menapause. Any man that has to live with a woman going through menapause is hereby relieved from the duty of having to die for his country.

Dave

May 20th, 2011
8:57 am

Carmen Electra would do nicely on my taste buds.

Lovely Brown

May 20th, 2011
8:58 am

MzNewy- it’s personality too. I met a young man( they are always younger!) a few years ago that could have caused me some serious problems if I would have let it go that far. He was/is the total opposite of my husband.

blue-eyed-blonde

May 20th, 2011
9:00 am

Good Morning All and HAPPY FRIDAY!!! I’m just looking for someone that has a great sense of humor, is responsible & dependable and makes me feel loved. Is that asking too much?
If he’s a hottie, that’s ok too, but not a requirement!

Mr Big`s Girl

May 20th, 2011
9:01 am

Leggs

May 20th, 2011
9:03 am

@b.e.b ~ you and I are looking for the same man. Perhaps he has a twin!

Watchout, because this summer, this Cougar is going to pounce (LOLOLOL).

MzNewy

May 20th, 2011
9:04 am

@ Lovely….ooowwwwwwwwweeee Next on Cougartown ;) lol

MzNewy

May 20th, 2011
9:05 am

@ blue eyes…yeah that Hottie prerequisite got me in alot of trouble before lol

blue-eyed-blonde

May 20th, 2011
9:05 am

@MzNewy…I hear ya there….I got in it deep, but was nice for awhile, just doesn’t last

Big Un

May 20th, 2011
9:07 am

OK, let me take a shot at this. Around 40 (wouldn’t matter how old I was), brunette, shapely, can rock a pair of high heels, scorchingly sexy outlook, can kiss for hours, has no qualms about making the first move and puts sex right up there with food, air and water. Personality wise, daring, considerate, smart, responsible and puts sex right up there with food, air and water. Am I being redundant….? LOL

MzNewy

May 20th, 2011
9:12 am

@ Big un – LOL not too redundant….it is right up there with air, food and water :)

Wifey

May 20th, 2011
9:12 am

Lovely Brown, itsn’t that always the case. There’s a guy in my sibdivision that I have to avoid. If he even flirts with me at all I don’t think I could stop myself from raping the man….three times. Why is it that you always want what you can’t have?

Justin

May 20th, 2011
9:15 am

Well, being that I’m married…I guess it would be attractive if they had a libido instead of 101 reasons not to. That would be quite a turn on for me….

Lovely Brown

May 20th, 2011
9:16 am

:-) @ Big Un- you want what you want lol, nothing wrong with that!

MzNewy- I was thisclose to going there, I can’t lie.

Big Un

May 20th, 2011
9:17 am

MzNewy, I guess you’re either not married or you are one in a million. High 5 to ya, babe. Keep rockin it!

blue-eyed-blonde

May 20th, 2011
9:18 am

@ Leggs – Mornin Girl….If you find him let me know where…maybe they all hang out at the same place. If so, I’m there!!!

Lovely Brown

May 20th, 2011
9:19 am

Wifey- I had to stop seeing and even talking with yougin on the phone…it was gettin’ hot!!

Why is it that you always want what you can’t have?

Human Nature……

SlimNu

May 20th, 2011
9:24 am

Good morning all (sounding like Tone Loc)

I probably wouldn’t think I’d be as attracted to the beau now, 5 years ago. He is low key and I can be high energy at times, especially then. Now I appreciate his maturity, low keyness etc.

Wifey

May 20th, 2011
9:27 am

Lovely Brown, you are preachin’ to the choir, babe. I was talking with him a few days ago and all I could do was watch his mouth the whole time. I would have crawled in it if I could have. I guess I better stay clear of him cause I was getting the vapors the rest of the day with my mind on over drive. WHEW!

MzNewy

May 20th, 2011
9:30 am

@ Bigun not married but it is up there in my book too ;)

Big Un

May 20th, 2011
9:30 am

’scuse me, but where in the hayel do some of you ladies hang out???? I’m obviously NOT at the right places. I would LOVE to hear a woman talk like Lana, MzNewy, Wifey, etc…. Holy Crocomoly!

blue-eyed-blonde

May 20th, 2011
9:33 am

@Wifey…you talking about watching his mouth, I dated a guy with a really deep, sexy voice. Sometimes I’d just get caught up in it and not even realize what he was saying, just listening to that voice…man…it still gives me shivers!!!

Exiled!

May 20th, 2011
9:35 am

Good morning

Most women down grade and go for those they never gave time,when they were younger. It’s not surprising that now you want the quiet,mellow types.
U call it growth…seems like settling to me.

@Lovely Brown,married but still have eyes…figuratively?
nice one,either way! :lol:

Simple man.....

May 20th, 2011
9:35 am

Morning Peeps!!!
In my hotel lobby this morning having Breakfast…51 year old Red Head waiting for Waffles at eh same time…Sooooo far away from my usual draw, but this woman was “As fine as Frog hair”!!! She is in town thru the middle of next week and hopefully by then The bitemarks I plan on leaveing on her back will have faded……

MzNewy

May 20th, 2011
9:36 am

@ Bigun – LOL I am a low key girl…mostly hanging with my girls at Ajas, RaSushi and the like.

Wifey

May 20th, 2011
9:39 am

Heck I gotta stop talking about it or I’m gonna put on to some shorts and a tank top and go running past his house…then dart in and tear into him whether he wants to or not…LOL. Is that against the law in Georgia?? LMAO

Big Un

May 20th, 2011
9:42 am

I hang out in Gwinnett and hit Barnacles, Wild Bill’s and some of the local pubs around here. There is a group of us and we get into trouble from time to time. I’m 47, but I’m still young enough to run with the horses and even show the colts how it’s supposed to be done occassionally. Ha ha

MzNewy

May 20th, 2011
9:46 am

@ Exiled…nah it really was growth. I don’t want a guy that NEEDS to be the center of attention anymore. I used to look for attention seekers. Those kind of people drain me. You have to constantly entertain them. Yes there is this thing called “settle syndrome” (SS) . What is that? Well settle syndrome is where you just settle for someone even though they are not your total package. If you do this, you are bound to stray. Think about it. If he is what everyone else considers the “total package” and he is just not your cup of tea, you are in settle syndrome territory. That is not me. My tastes have changed but I have not and will not SETTLE. When I was a kid, I hated green peas, as an adult, I love them. I am not settling for them, my tastes have just changed.

Leggs

May 20th, 2011
9:49 am

“…I’m still young enough to run with the horses and even show the colts how it’s supposed to be done occassionally.” I likey this!

@Wifey ~ you are too funny this morning. Leave those shorts and tank top in the middle drawer!!

M. (pronouced M dot)

May 20th, 2011
9:54 am

Good day everyone.

I know some people think guys don’t really have a type other than female and with a pulse lol but contrary to popular belief, I have really reformed my types.

I have always been into corporate and really smart women for some reason, but lately I have dealt with some women who are in different fields like the struggling writer, the hair stylist, the PR woman, etc.

I also noticed that physically my taste have really changed. I really have been going for really thin and athletic women who run, etc. My brother always rags on me because he says, he needs some meat on his women! lol

Hey it’s 2011 Go for what you like!

Exiled!

May 20th, 2011
9:55 am

MzNewy??

If u went out ‘looking for attention seekers’ that was also targeted settling. I am not surprised you chics get it wrong!

Attraction is spontaneous! For the most part,u cannot explain it! Then once attracted and u have made a move or he makes a move on u and u getting to know each other,that’s when u find out if the qualities they truly possess are in comfortable to u and or enhance that initial attraction.

Now this ‘ hunting’ u do as adults,writing down on a mental note pad,the type of guy u looking for is what we call in Africa,’hunting with a pack of salt in ur pocket’ :lol:

It’s a settling move coz u ‘wasted’ youth targetting the wrong dudes.

Let Nature dictate attraction…it’s a hormonal thang!

Exiled!

May 20th, 2011
10:01 am

Are comfortable to u

MzNewy

May 20th, 2011
10:01 am

@ Exhiled…EXACTLY…and I guess my methods have changed as well since I do the natural progression thing now, but I don’t like “center of attention” folks anymore STILL. and that is growth ;)

Blackfoote

May 20th, 2011
10:03 am

Everybody is special in their own way decent, respectful, sensual, and sexy with a touch of love works for me.

Good (next to last) Morning:
Just Kidding Y’all

Wifey

May 20th, 2011
10:03 am

Leggs, I can’t help it. I’m going to have to go for a run or to the gym before work to get the jitters out of my body. Gotta burn it off some kinda way….and in a way that doesn’t get me into hot water…..