Dating: Too soon to meet the kids?
A reader wants advice on how to handle a situation with her new beau. He threw her for a loop when he introduced her to his two kids last weekend. She was not expecting it and they had not discussed it beforehand. They have only been seeing one another for a couple of weeks.
To make matters worse, the kids were not exactly on their best behavior. She is a single woman with no children and little experience with them. She is an only child so she is not an Aunt – she isn’t a Godmother, either. She is pretty much the definition of childless. Her life literally has not had to revolve around children in any way, shape, or form…until this weekend.
You can imagine how uncomfortable she must have felt. I believe this had an impact on how the kids received her…or rather how badly it went. Since she has to adjust to kids, I doubt waiting longer would have made much of a difference.
Do you think meeting the children of your date before the three month-mark is a good idea?
If you have children, when do you decide that it’s time to bring your significant other around them for the first time? How do you handle it? Is it a major thing or do you sort of let it unfold in a casual surrounding?
Are you childless and dating someone who isn’t? How do you make it work? What is the best advice you have for someone who has to warm up to the idea of having children around?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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297 comments Add your comment
Exiled!
May 19th, 2011
4:17 pm
Leggs, I thought u were talking about marital cheating and I added a Bill Clinton cheating and suddenly Exiled’s version of cheating is more riddled(with s3x) than the y’all’s are talking bout?
Like Hagler I say,’no Maas!’
sorry forthe interruption
Leggs
May 19th, 2011
4:18 pm
@SexyC ~ I had to chuckle at the curriculum vitae.
SexyCool
May 19th, 2011
4:20 pm
And as to this line – This is purely entertainment for me – as none of the participants of this blog get paid for their participation, I can assure you that we are here for the purposes of entertainment as well.
Celisea
May 19th, 2011
4:20 pm
DemiNik81 – If cheating ain’t a part of dating I don’t know what is…lol We can’t talk about hot heavy sex EVERYDAY.
Been There Done That – You’ve been lurking long enough to know the norm is veering off topic. Fashion, tv, celebrities, cooking, sexing, scripture…everything. Seriously though the topic ventures away because frankly we just can’t talk about dating everyday all day. The flow tends to go somewhere in real life.
SexyCool
May 19th, 2011
4:24 pm
Oh…wait…I didn’t make my other comment about o’girl shooting up the intruder. When listening to the 911 call, she says, “I shot him as much as I could.”
Now…I know I shouldn’t be laughing cause a man died…but…that’s funny as hell to me….
kimmie
May 19th, 2011
4:26 pm
SCool – Please. If “Dem” was really “all that” she wouldn’t have time for this little blog, what with 3 business to run and all! And says few take it serious? Well then it’s serving it’s purpose, even to her, since it’s ENTERTAINMENT!
SexyCool
May 19th, 2011
4:28 pm
kimmie – you know I was thinking that.
SexyCool
May 19th, 2011
4:28 pm
When do you fly out?
Leggs
May 19th, 2011
4:29 pm
Has abc been on today???
cba
May 19th, 2011
4:30 pm
SC when I heard that tape, I interpreted it as ” I did the best I could do, I shot his azz nine times and I’ll do better the next time”.
Leggs
May 19th, 2011
4:32 pm
@cba ~ too funny!
SexyCool
May 19th, 2011
4:32 pm
LMAO – exactly.
DemeNik81
May 19th, 2011
4:32 pm
LOL.. Again Wise Diva great topics to start out. Several hundred people take my dating blog so “seriously” that we are able to put on two great social events each year, one on each coast. Call me crazy but turning an online community into a real life network isn’t such a bad idea. All the beautiful singles in Atlanta could actually benefit from it. Altough I live and work here, my east coast event takes place in Miami. @Sexy Cool I am sure you are. @Slim Nu this as well as some of the other topics have been very worthy of an 8 hr and then some conversation. One that comes to mind was about the ten most overlooked men and women… Great article if you haven’t read it. You Ladies have a great day.
Purple Rain
May 19th, 2011
4:33 pm
The empty wagon makes the most noise. Why because these is nothing in it. Dem we hear you loud and clear. What does owning 3 forms of business haev to do with blogging? You are yourself are out off topic so thank you for joining us in our off topic”ness”. Silly rabbit!
SexyCool
May 19th, 2011
4:33 pm
And my ArnieS comment for the day…
Well, buddy certainly didn’t have a problem introducing his woman to his kids…or his wife…oh, wait. She already knew them.
Dude was straight foul for this mess. She was too. All up in this woman’s house, pregnant at the same time she was for her husband.
You really can’t make ish up this good. Well…actually, you can….but still…..
kimmie
May 19th, 2011
4:34 pm
SCool – In 2 weeks, Friday the 3rd!
Purple Rain
May 19th, 2011
4:34 pm
DemeNik, you are off topic….still
Leggs
May 19th, 2011
4:35 pm
Dang, now PR’s calling people farm animal names (rather backyard animal names).
SexyCool
May 19th, 2011
4:37 pm
Countdown……….
Purple Rain
May 19th, 2011
4:37 pm
Leggs, it’s obvious that person is here to promote her own blog and to try and get us to view it to maybe get “hits” up on her on site
Purple Rain
May 19th, 2011
4:38 pm
watch, a link to her blog show up soon.
cba
May 19th, 2011
4:40 pm
Why am I thinking 60,000 minimum
Leggs
May 19th, 2011
4:40 pm
Heck, we have fabulous meet and greets as well.
All are very memorable!!
Leggs
May 19th, 2011
4:41 pm
That’s not nice, cba, but it did make me laugh!!
Exiled!
May 19th, 2011
4:44 pm
Other than the sly ‘girlfriends club’ comment,DemeN is talking sense.
And no, i am not angling her for overly eegh u know what.
Problem is this blog tends to get I insular especially when new people pop up.
But going on offense is never a winning formulae especially when u also trying to promote ur own blog
Food for thought uall and u Deme!
SlimNu
May 19th, 2011
4:45 pm
Leggs – I started to throw out the fact that we have had blog meet n greets in the past to Deme, but frankly I just didn’t give a dayum lol Plus i’m trying to figure out if that person’s blog is so great, why are they snooping around these parts?
Fishing for topics?
Recruiting bloggers?
Surely it cannot be for the sake of calling us out for not killing, then bringing back to life, then killing again a topic that was discussed in the first 3 pages. Some topics have gone on well after hours (i.e bootlegged blogging) and some topics are done before it even gets started. This is a case of when Taking things too seriously goes wrong. lol
cba
May 19th, 2011
4:48 pm
A friend told me earlier today that Maria’s baby and the other woman’s baby was born only five days apart. I haven’t read this but if it is true, it’s possible both ladies conceived the same day. Now that’s F-upped.
Leggs
May 19th, 2011
4:50 pm
Baa daa bing…SlimNu has closed the doors on Deme!
Sassy Me...Stir it Up :-)
May 19th, 2011
4:52 pm
Why am I thinking 60,000 minimum
y’all wrong for that…
Sassy Me...Stir it Up :-)
May 19th, 2011
4:52 pm
A friend told me earlier today that Maria’s baby and the other woman’s baby was born only five days apart.
I read that today,too. He’s been supporting them all this time b/c 1.It’s his child and he’s supposed to and 2.Naturally he’d hoped it would stay a secret….NOT. Also read a story about “the hunt” for a photo of the child…what’s worse is that there could be a six figure payday for the person that gets the photo.
DemeNik81
May 19th, 2011
4:52 pm
I am truly entertained today. Enough to stay on as long as I have. I gues the reference to the lonely girlfriends club brought out the claws. @Purple Rain kudos to you for “ass”uming that I am a woman. I guess that would make you a donkey. You ladies are hilarious. This conversation that I am having with you all today will appear on my blog tomorrow, however I will not post a link to it here. Please feel free to Google it if you like. Again this is pure entertainment. Settle down.
casual observer
May 19th, 2011
4:53 pm
OK folks..let me take it from here…
DemeNik81, instead of handling the blog fam kinda rough( or trying to anyway) come on over here and let me talk to you for a minute… I got this BAB t-stirt I wanna show you……
Mrs. Tazzee
May 19th, 2011
4:54 pm
DemeNik81 – this blog is just a hobby for Wise Diva. It is not her full time gig nor is it her dream to branch off and build online communities, national blogs, etc. She has MUCH bigger projects on the horizon. Trust, if she wanted to be bigtime with it she could have been. As such, this is just one of many ajc blogs that adhere to the ajc’s rules. We look forward to your comments on the first 3 pages of tomorrow’s topic.
Leggs
May 19th, 2011
4:55 pm
@Deme ~ just so you know going forward, the lonely girlfriends club fell on deaf ears. That remark didn’t bother anyone. What’s bothersome is you coming on complaining about a blog that you yourself is on…that’s all.
Celisea
May 19th, 2011
4:56 pm
We look forward to your comments on the first 3 pages of tomorrow’s topic
LOL…good one
Sassy Me...Stir it Up :-)
May 19th, 2011
4:58 pm
What’s bothersome is you coming on complaining about a blog that you yourself is on…that’s all.
ouch…nuff said….
SlimNu
May 19th, 2011
5:00 pm
Deme – No claws came out…in life you get back what you put out. But until next time.
Mrs. Tazzee
May 19th, 2011
5:00 pm
Googled 10 most overlooked men and women and Diva’s blog was the third item that came up. It was the post from April 26. Before that was something about the 10 mysteries and something about directors. I tried to find Deme’s spot but it didn’t come up. And I was honestly trying to check him/her out.
oh well to that….
Exiled!
May 19th, 2011
5:01 pm
Demn
I also assumed u female
If not u gay……then
Coz men with balls don’t pout
Good nite
cba
May 19th, 2011
5:03 pm
Sassy, that same friend told me to type images and then I typed Arnold S and bam!! I saw the photo of the child.
SexyCool
May 19th, 2011
5:03 pm
Just went and googled Deme – the only thing that came up with that name was a post from three days ago. Apparently, in addition to being a nationwide blogger, three business owner and whatever all that other stuff was, she is also hot and intimidates men….well, at least according to her.
DreamsMaterialize
May 19th, 2011
5:07 pm
One that comes to mind was about the ten most overlooked men and women
Didn’t one of Wise’s topics reference an Essence article about this?
Leggs
May 19th, 2011
5:09 pm
I am cracking up….
Note to Blogsville…I need everyone to show up wearing their vests (at least for the first 3 pages)
SexyCool
May 19th, 2011
5:11 pm
“Call me crazy but turning an online community into a real life network isn’t such a bad idea.”
Yeah…Wise was my roommate for more than six months nearly six years ago. I’d say that we’ve pretty much caught on to that great idea.
Nasty Nupe
May 19th, 2011
6:06 pm
I am a guy and has a young son, and if I am dealing with a young lady I am interested in she needs to meet him. You need to see how the person interacts with your child and vice versa. I you fall for a person and she doesnt like your kids and your kids dont like her you have a problem.
HavedatedDADS
May 19th, 2011
9:58 pm
I have dated dads in the past and I loved it. You get to see a whole new side of a guy. On the other hand, I worked in childcare and often babysat, so being around children was never a problem for me. There is no real formula for when to introduce the kids to new “friend” consider the child(ren) and the new significant other. Good luck and always discuss before surprise meetings.
Beautiful
May 20th, 2011
12:30 am
*** “I honestly don’t miss him or them bad a$$ kids and they retarded mama.”
_________________flatlined__________________
(please resuscitate….) ***
i’m rotf right now!!!! lol.