Dating: Too soon to meet the kids?
A reader wants advice on how to handle a situation with her new beau. He threw her for a loop when he introduced her to his two kids last weekend. She was not expecting it and they had not discussed it beforehand. They have only been seeing one another for a couple of weeks.
To make matters worse, the kids were not exactly on their best behavior. She is a single woman with no children and little experience with them. She is an only child so she is not an Aunt – she isn’t a Godmother, either. She is pretty much the definition of childless. Her life literally has not had to revolve around children in any way, shape, or form…until this weekend.
You can imagine how uncomfortable she must have felt. I believe this had an impact on how the kids received her…or rather how badly it went. Since she has to adjust to kids, I doubt waiting longer would have made much of a difference.
Do you think meeting the children of your date before the three month-mark is a good idea?
If you have children, when do you decide that it’s time to bring your significant other around them for the first time? How do you handle it? Is it a major thing or do you sort of let it unfold in a casual surrounding?
Are you childless and dating someone who isn’t? How do you make it work? What is the best advice you have for someone who has to warm up to the idea of having children around?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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297 comments Add your comment
Raqi V
May 19th, 2011
2:14 pm
I bought the movie Salt today while at Tarjee for the hub and I to watch tonight. Have any of you all seen it? Is it worth watching?
MzNewy
May 19th, 2011
2:14 pm
@ Raqi – Great movie. Yes well worth watching.
kimmie
May 19th, 2011
2:16 pm
Raqi – Excellent movie!
Purple Rain
May 19th, 2011
2:17 pm
Raqi, it is a good movie and not what you expect right when you think you have things figured out.
Raqi V
May 19th, 2011
2:17 pm
I think he did too SexyCool. Which goes back to the discussion the concern of non-father men and teen age girls in the house. I imagine it happens a lot that those women working at those hotels get taunted and flirted about by dirty old and young men especially the diplomats.
Blackfoote
May 19th, 2011
2:19 pm
After the world wide earthquake Saturday there wont be anybody around to meet the kids? Some people believe this is going to happen, folks are making a run on water survival gear. WTH guess I better not say that I might be there Saturday……LOL
After Noon Everyone:
Purple Rain
May 19th, 2011
2:20 pm
If he were in France he would have gotten away with it.
DreamsMaterialize
May 19th, 2011
2:22 pm
Have any of you all seen it?
Raqi I saw it. In the end the she…took her children Katherine and Christopher Schwarzenegger out for lunch yesterday in Brentwood, Calif. amid revelations of Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s love child scandal. Haha hope you didn’t think I would be tacky enough to tell you end. lol
Purple Rain
May 19th, 2011
2:22 pm
Blackfoote, LOL I was taught that we would not know when it would happen. Also, the atheist arent worried . LOL
Raqi V
May 19th, 2011
2:26 pm
Leggs and Celisea, catching up on you all’s discussion, while at lunch I was talking to Mari about the blog topic and she was telling me about her sister quit it with a guy because she felt that he was being too friendly with her son. She said when her sister questioned him about it and he said he was just trying to befriend the boy. Whatever he was doing did not set to well with her. She got him out their lives.
You just have to be careful these days.
Lord Velonese
May 19th, 2011
2:28 pm
SCREEEEEEEETCHHH! I say no to already made families, I don’t want someone else’s kids. And no I don’t have any of my own, thank GOD!!
Raqi V
May 19th, 2011
2:29 pm
DreamsMat, I had type a comment to you but the blogmaster said I am commenting too quickly. LOL Like a whole 4 minutes since my last comment. I don’t want to type it again.
I think the problem with the time stamps trying to place the comments at times before they are actually being posted is causing the “too quickly” errors. It probably tried to put in the same time slot that I had already made a comment.
My clock now says 2:31. Let’s see what time the wizard of blog say I posted it.
Blackfoote
May 19th, 2011
2:29 pm
Purple same here bible school taught us that too. They never said anything about nuts making claims that they knew the exact date. If you believe better gone and let them see your kids today or tomorrow……LOL
DreamsMaterialize
May 19th, 2011
2:29 pm
Also, the atheist arent worried .
Purp One atheist group started a business (Eternal Earth-bound Pets) to care for “believer’s” pets after the second coming since pets supposedly will not be allowed in heaven. They were charging $100 per pet, but raised it to $135 after this prediction became public. lol
Raqi V
May 19th, 2011
2:32 pm
LMBO at 2:29. Two minutes before actual posting. At this rate someone can commit a one minute crime, post a comment and have a minute to spare on their alibi.
All you cheating minute men out there, the blog has given a 2 minute window to do your thing and be back here commenting. LOL
Exiled!
May 19th, 2011
2:33 pm
SlimNu?
1.27pm
Are u totally sure ur guy ain’t a felon in some state and on the low low….while that play may have well been an innocent but scar dream,it can also be due to his guilty conscience playing tricks with him!
Dont let his good pudy beating fog ur brain.
Otherwise,just Google him for ur own good!
(not laughing/joking that much)
Raqi V
May 19th, 2011
2:33 pm
Testing…2:35
SlimNu
May 19th, 2011
2:33 pm
I thought Salt was pretty good…have any of you seen INSIDIOUS yet? I thoroughly enjoyed that flick. I rented My Soul To Keep but haven’t watched it. I hope it’s at least decent
Exiled!
May 19th, 2011
2:34 pm
Scary dream
Raqi V
May 19th, 2011
2:36 pm
…2:36
Purple Rain
May 19th, 2011
2:37 pm
Which movies is Insidious Slim? I don’t remember that one.
Dreams, I love my pets but that would be my last worry on earth. LOL
Veloneses, do you ever think about your legacy or what mark you will leave on this earth? I remember I did not want kids but now that I have one I see things a little differently
Purple Rain
May 19th, 2011
2:41 pm
Because time won’t give me time….. And time makes lovers feel Like they’ve got something real But you and me we know They’ve got nooooooooooooooooooooooothing but time And time won’t give me tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime
SlimNu
May 19th, 2011
2:41 pm
Raqi – I’ve been having that issue too with “Blogging too fast”…
I say WACK to that!
Exiled – He is a Federal Agent…not sure they employ too many felons being that the people get all sorts of background checks, polygraphs etc. And the puddy beating doesn’t fog my brain, it clear it up…spank you berry much. Everything doesn’t always come back to sexing ya know
Exiled!
May 19th, 2011
2:42 pm
Everything doesn’t always come back to sexing…..
SlimNu!
That’s where u wrong….
Purple Rain
May 19th, 2011
2:45 pm
Slim is feeling better
SlimNu
May 19th, 2011
2:46 pm
Purp – That movie is the one that came out not too long ago, sort of a scary flick where the parents of a little boy think he’s in a coma and that their house is haunted but in actuality the boy is haunted. It had me jumping in my seat with hands over eyes and all at the movies.
Raqi V
May 19th, 2011
2:46 pm
LOL Slim. I asked Mari one time what would she do if he said another woman’s name while talking in his sleep. She said her first thought would be to put a pillow over his face and take him out. LOL She said because she has to babies and don’t want to go to prison she would go out the next day and get 5 or 6 shirts printed with the woman’s name and wear one every day and watch him squirm trying to figure out why she is wearing those shirts and how she knows about the woman. LOL
I can see myself doing that also. LOL But then I would go further and send him telegrams and flowers from the other woman. I would even start sending him random gifts to the house from her. See how long it takes for him to go crazy or confess. Or both.
BeenThereDoneThat
May 19th, 2011
2:47 pm
I have a grown son and currently involved with a woman with 2 teenagers (16/18). I would say wait as I wish I’d waiting to meet the kids. I met the kids after about 2 months. I would have preferred to NOT meet them as the relationship she has with them is unhealthy and along the lines of co-dependency! Of course, had I waited, I would not be able to see the co-dependency! It did unfold kind of naturally though because we didn’t want to spend ALL of our time together “in the streets” as there is nothing like “just chillin at home watching a movie”. I can’t wait until they grow up and move out.
Celisea
May 19th, 2011
2:52 pm
My girlfriend just found out her husband is back to old shenigans…or never stopped
SlimNu
May 19th, 2011
2:53 pm
Raqi – I never even thought about that. Knowing me, I’d just ask who the chick was. I’ve heard him say all kinds of things in his sleep, laughing even but never another person’s name. However, I will keep those ideas in mind…. Insert evil laugh & hands rubbing together, here lol
SexyCool
May 19th, 2011
2:55 pm
Cel – that is distressing. My heart goes out. It is the reason I left Shthead. I knew it wouldn’t stop.
Celisea
May 19th, 2011
2:58 pm
Raqi – Re convo w/Mari…that’s a dang shame. I believe it though. You have to be as careful, if not more with boys than girls nowadays.
I remember seeing an episode on Oprah about a proball player (football) and I tell I cried that day. I can’t remember his name but he was telling his story on how his mom, being a single mom and struggling had a boyfriend that molested him EVERY chance he got. The mom thought he was there as a positive role model and would leave him with her boyfriend. That story turned my stomach. He said the boyfriend told him it was his job to keep him erect…he said that went on for years. He cried throughout the interview but said he was not broken by it. I getting misty thinkin about it.
Purple Rain
May 19th, 2011
2:58 pm
I don’t think a person should be held accountable for dreams or talking in their sleep.
Mrs. Tazzee
May 19th, 2011
2:58 pm
Apparently I talk in my sleep too. Glad I don’t have secrets from the hubs AND that’s a deterrent from obtaining any.
DreamsMaterialize
May 19th, 2011
2:58 pm
I knew it wouldn’t stop.
It never stops, even when you think it does. They’ve just found a way to hide it better.
kimmie
May 19th, 2011
2:59 pm
You really have to protect your children, all children really!
Purple Rain
May 19th, 2011
3:00 pm
Celisea that guy need to be shot too for molesting a child.
Why do people take people back after the cheating physically and they know for certain that it did happen.
kimmie
May 19th, 2011
3:01 pm
I used to sleepwalk when I was younger. Still talk a little. My boo talks in his sleep too. Most times I really can’t understand what he is saying.
Purple Rain
May 19th, 2011
3:02 pm
My wife growls in her sleep. Maybe I should go get some shirts printed up with tigers on them or just kill every tiger I see.
kimmie
May 19th, 2011
3:03 pm
Why do people take people back after the cheating physically and they know for certain that it did happen.
Purple – You know we’ve discussed that on here before. It seems that most men won’t take a woman back, but a lot expect the woman to forgive and take them back.
Lovely Brown
May 19th, 2011
3:05 pm
Celisea
May 19th, 2011
2:52 pm
My girlfriend just found out her husband is back to old shenigans…or never stopped
I feel for her. Been there, done that. Got the t-shirt, the jogging pants and the jacket.
Celisea
May 19th, 2011
3:06 pm
SexyC – She is sooo distraught. We work for the same company but in different states. She called me to help her Dick Tracey some stuff that she found and I rolled right up on it…and sure enough it’s been the girlfriend that’s been the thorn in her flesh since her son…now 12
SlimNu
May 19th, 2011
3:08 pm
My wife growls in her sleep. Maybe I should go get some shirts printed up with tigers on them or just kill every tiger I see
Celisea
May 19th, 2011
3:08 pm
Dreams – It never stops, even when you think it does. They’ve just found a way to hide it better.
Exactly….she’s trying not to breakdown on the phone but I can hear it. He ain’t even all that…IMO
Purple Rain
May 19th, 2011
3:10 pm
Second time around it’s her own fault for signing up fo that nonsense again. Playing detective and always having if it’s going to happen again in the back of your mind is not worth it. She took him back once she will again.
Lovely Brown
May 19th, 2011
3:12 pm
Why do people take people back after the cheating physically and they know for certain that it did happen
I took him because I loved him. Because I did not want it to look like I failed.
SexyCool
May 19th, 2011
3:12 pm
Cel – tough spot to be in. I know that there was a place that I had to get to with buddy even after seeing/hearing/knowing/ignoring enough far sooner. What kept me from getting to that place at the first sign of trouble was fear. Fear and avoidance. I feared facing the truth that was plain as the nose on my face and I wanted to avoid the pain of the loss and the path to recovery.
I wish your friend strength and bravery, but most of all, peace. Because peace is most important.
Purple Rain
May 19th, 2011
3:12 pm
What do tigers dreams of? When they take a little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras
Raqi V
May 19th, 2011
3:13 pm
I find this present discussion to be quite ironic seeing that just yesterday there were a slue of folks on here stating how casual sex is how they get down because they
have made themselves believe theygo without it. And you know it’s ‘just sex’.I wonder how does that attitude and mindset play into cheating and/or being cheated on. How much of it being just sex determine the forgiving or allowance of infidelity. Since it’s ‘just sex’.
Celisea
May 19th, 2011
3:15 pm
Lovely Brown – She sounds broken…but she’s saying she’s used to it now. You know me, I went right into asking if she’s decided to stay. At one time she had a guy trying to get down on the side and she passed…nothing happened but her husband found out of the potential pursuit he went ballistic….followed here around for months, followed to church, tryna figure out if it was someone on the deacon board or at church period. Checked behind her in EVERYTHING. All that because IMO it mirrored his own indiscretions and the thought of someone doing to her (on him) what he was doing to others (on her)….just a piece of trash.