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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Dating Dilemma: Not ready for sex

Have you ever been in a situation where you decide to postpone/delay getting physical with someone you are dating?  It can be difficult explaining why you aren’t ready.  You don’t want to send the wrong message that “not now” actually means not ever.  So how do you tell someone you just need more time?

Everyone has different waiting periods – from minutes to months – when it comes to deciding when they want to hook up.  You would think that it is easy to meet someone with similar waiting periods, but it can be tricky.

While one person is ready to “get it out of the way” before things get too serious, someone else may want the opposite.

How do you bring it up when you see that you are headed to that part of the night  when you want to cool things off before it goes to far?

What would happen if your decision to delay sex is met with hostility? Is that one of those defining moments that can make or break a relationship?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

288 comments Add your comment

Motocross Survivor

May 18th, 2011
2:19 pm

Purple Eyeshadow wrote:

“I had a real gangster moment at Walmart:

“The line was really long both of them that they had open. After waiting and the line moving slow I just walked up front cut in front of the redneck that was next and said “I’m Next!” Lady rang me up and now I am back home. That was totally uncalled for but damn it feels good to be a gangster! LOL”

The “redneck” (Poor White Guy) just saw how much trouble he’d get into for touching a poofter.
You wouldn’t have been as successful with me.

Leggs

May 18th, 2011
2:19 pm

Coming up for air…what you guys talking about other than the Kentucky Derby?

@kimmie ~ I said “dang, she’s 50.” She’s not aging well.

Raqi V

May 18th, 2011
2:21 pm

Thanks abc.

I am getting the watch for two reasons. He made a statement Sunday morning so when I saw the watch I thought it would be nice to get. And he also used to have one that his grandfather gave him that got stolen when he was in college. I want to have it engraved also.

DreamsMaterialize

May 18th, 2011
2:22 pm

I thought he had done better. She looks kinda old, older than 50.
kimmie That was my initial thought too, but then again we don’t know how she looked twenty years ago at 30 when they supposedly started kicking it. I want to see the old pics! lol

Raqi V

May 18th, 2011
2:22 pm

LOL DreamsMat. I am sure your daughter will let you know when that special day arrives.

kimmie

May 18th, 2011
2:23 pm

That sounds like a really nice gift, Raqita.

Purple Rain

May 18th, 2011
2:23 pm

kimmie, she is ugly but then again Maria is not a looker either, but the lady he cheated with look ugly.

Fion, why you ditching Ms Volleyball?

Celisea, I am not going to engage her. What kind of car do you drive Celisea, was it you? LOL

kimmie

May 18th, 2011
2:24 pm

Dreams – Yeah, I forgot about the 20 years. I was subtracting back when the kid was born, in my head, and she still didn’t look that great! But 20 may make a difference!

Purple Rain

May 18th, 2011
2:25 pm

Motocross Survivor, put up or shut up. What are you saying? Because in this instance you really have no clue as to what lurks on the other side of your screen.

Raqi V

May 18th, 2011
2:26 pm

On Arnold’s side piece…

When I saw the picture yesterday I made a comment that I am surprised at how she looks. My friend’s hubby said that Arnold was all heart for that woman. Just like Charles was for Camilla. A person loves who they love.

Celisea

May 18th, 2011
2:27 pm

but then again we don’t know how she looked twenty years ago at 30 when they supposedly started kicking it.

Now this was my first thought when I first saw pics of her. I just figured she’s aged and I’m sure it’s been a good 10/15 years since their first tryst…

PR – It wasn’t me…I drive a benz

Exiled!

May 18th, 2011
2:27 pm

Kimmie!
It’s not the looks that mattered to Arnold,,it’s the other good stuff….( :wink: )

too bad the newspaper people are trying to throw her under the bus,posting that ugly pic.

In any case wld a prettier baby mama be consolation to Maria?

Problem with some of these married woman is that whine too much once married and feign( lie) headaches when the Hubby wants dome frisky action.

Serves her right!

Purple Rain

May 18th, 2011
2:27 pm

Celisea, no it wasn’t a benz. Dang I thought I was lucky, and what are you doing looking at eye candy on your floor. I thought you only had eyes for me. What does my competition look like, I need to sneak in and give you my card while he goes to the bathroom if you two ever go on a date.

SexyCool

May 18th, 2011
2:28 pm

But here’s the thing about the babymomma….15 years ago when the sexing was going on…I’m sure she was a lot hotter. At this point, she’s a 50 year old chick that used to be a maid.

Celisea

May 18th, 2011
2:28 pm

Anyway, he ain’t exactly easy on the eyes either…lol It’s one of those affairs where you see something other than the picture we see.

Raqi V

May 18th, 2011
2:28 pm

Thanks kimmie. I just hope it gains as much sentimental value with him as I am hoping it does. LOL I am choosing it for reasons I think he will appreciate. It’s more of a keepsake item than someone I expect him to use.

Raqi V

May 18th, 2011
2:29 pm

I said “dang, she’s 50.” She’s not aging well.

Leggs, now you know, but I can’t say…

SexyCool

May 18th, 2011
2:29 pm

Or…yeah…what DreamsMat said. (lol)

Celisea

May 18th, 2011
2:30 pm

Well not a good 10/15…cause the kid is 10…I’d say possibly a good 15/20 years since the beginning.

Lovely Brown

May 18th, 2011
2:32 pm

On Arnold- Maria Shriver has never been beautiful…IMO

The maid looks like at one time she was smokin’ hot. She has ‘that’ look.

Fion

May 18th, 2011
2:32 pm

@ Purp

Last month she went MIA on a Saturday. When I asked what was the deal,
I got the“I needed my space” comment. I think she’s tippin with the Ex
I’ve been cool towards her since and she can feel the change, BTW, which I think she wants.

Dan - Simply....Superior

May 18th, 2011
2:33 pm

Look,

It proves the idiom that cheating is a matter of convenience and opportunity, that’s it.

Sure he could’ve knocked off a stunna or too, but in Hollywood, they don’t pop out kids like that.

Raqi V

May 18th, 2011
2:34 pm

…he ain’t exactly easy on the eyes either…

Celisea, not even a little bit. When he and Maria first got married the first thing I thought is those babies are going to be interesting looking. Both of them with those chiseled jaw lines. LOL

Celisea

May 18th, 2011
2:36 pm

Raqi – Both of them with those chiseled jaw lines. LOL

Funny you should mention…I was looking at GMA this morning and thought (while observing the jaw line) gheesh she’s a Kennedy…lol

Lovely Brown

May 18th, 2011
2:37 pm

On Arnold again :-)

Maria looks like she would break if you touch her.

It’s not right at all, no justification…. but I bet the maid was giving Arnold sumthin’ he could feel

Raqi V

May 18th, 2011
2:37 pm

LovelyB, I agree. LOL The other woman just looks like your average middle aged woman of her origin that has not had $$$$ to put into her physical upkeep. Maria on the other hand is made of money…

Purple Rain

May 18th, 2011
2:38 pm

Fion, if the feeling is gone and not worth working through, have one more bedroom romp. Take some pictures to cherish the memories and then have fun for the rest of the spring and summer!

Raqi V

May 18th, 2011
2:39 pm

You right Dan because in the Hollywood they just hide those mishaps (Janet J and Kim F) or terminate them.

Purple Rain

May 18th, 2011
2:39 pm

Message to any guy interested Celisea is off limits until 1/2/2038

SlimNu

May 18th, 2011
2:40 pm

Many guys cheat with women that are less attractive than their main chick. I would assume that is because they are probably getting something from the other party besides looks, that they feel the main chick is not giving them…i.e. attention, listening to their sob stories, wild uninhibited sex, the non-stress of being in a relationship, fun etc.

abc

May 18th, 2011
2:40 pm

I’d recommend finding out exactly what his grandfather’s watch was, if possible, and getting one just like that. But then, I like the old and vintage stuff.

Purple Rain

May 18th, 2011
2:41 pm

Slim, I think they may just listen and relax a little instead of always driving them crazy and not listening. Not to many men sob. LOL

Celisea

May 18th, 2011
2:41 pm

PR – Message to any guy interested Celisea is off limits until 1/2/2038

Ummm, nothing between now and then??? We may have to renegotiate…lol Soooo you’re gonna sit tight??

Fion

May 18th, 2011
2:42 pm

@ Purp
I’m plannin’ full Frontal Assault Memorial Day Weekend. Then Finito!!!!!

That’s why I said 2-weeks.

Purple Rain

May 18th, 2011
2:42 pm

Celisea, if you ask me to I would. :) But you haven’t asked. You can have a boyfriend just let him know you have a date in 2038 and don’t hold it against you. You are one of the few women on her I wonder why a man has not came and claimed you yet. I like you, from what I ready you would make a good SO for a deserving man. :) (oh snap someone get me a b.a.b. t-shirt)

Fion, LOL

Sassy1

May 18th, 2011
2:42 pm

I takes my time when giving up the cookie!! If dude is trying to pressures me…he can gets to stepping…quick, fast and like yesterday…BAM….be gone!

Lovely Brown

May 18th, 2011
2:43 pm

It proves the idiom that cheating is a matter of convenience and opportunity, that’s it.

True. But I still believe back in the day the maid was hot.

Exiled!

May 18th, 2011
2:43 pm

giving him something he can feel..

See….I like u Lovely Brown!

SlimNu

May 18th, 2011
2:44 pm

Purp – Yall may not necessarily sob but you know what I mean…make it seem like their current situation/relationship is sooooo bad.

Raqi V

May 18th, 2011
2:45 pm

Oh thanks abc. That’s a good idea. I will see if his brother knows.

Celisea

May 18th, 2011
2:46 pm

PR – You are one of the few women on her I wonder why a man has not came and claimed you yet. I like you, from what I ready you would make a good SO for a deserving man. (oh snap someone get me a b.a.b. t-shirt)

Awwww, that’s so sweet…but um…erummm…how you know?? Because I won’t say so?? For me…and it’s just me…it’s a matter of privacy. Not knocking anybody else but I’m good joking or reading jokes or even reading others but no speakee on current personal adventures. Past experiences? Yeah, why not?

Purple Rain

May 18th, 2011
2:47 pm

Slim actually no I don’t. If a woman sits there and listens to that stuff well she gets what she deserves. LOL

Leggs

May 18th, 2011
2:47 pm

I’m in stitches, Raqi V. I know!

Purple Rain

May 18th, 2011
2:47 pm

Hello, Leggs!

Raqi V

May 18th, 2011
2:48 pm

You right Dan because in the Hollywood they just hide them (Janet J and Kim F) or terminate them (Countless hollywood beauties).

kimmie

May 18th, 2011
2:48 pm

Exiled – You said exactly what I thought you would say, about baby mama and! Ain’t nobody throwing her under the bus, she threw herself there! I read an article about her, she “pursued Arnold” they said, but obviously he didn’t resist too hard!LOL!!

Arnold can’t keep his hands to himself, remember that was in the news about him a few years back and he had to apologize.

And yeah, I guess it does serve Maria right, after “upgrading” him and sticking by him thru his mess & birthing 4 of his babies.(i’m being sarcastic)

No it wouldn’t make Maria feel any better if maid was prettier, just an observation!

Lovely Brown

May 18th, 2011
2:49 pm

Yall may not necessarily sob but you know what I mean…make it seem like their current situation/relationship is sooooo bad.

Yeah, it’s/she is soooo horrible, doesn’t listen, don’t have sex, the list is endless.

Yet every night there he is, in her face…..don’t cheat, leave.

Purple Rain

May 18th, 2011
2:49 pm

What blog female gives it the goods the quickest do you all think? Okay don’t type it but I know what everyone’s answer is….BAM! LOL

Exiled!

May 18th, 2011
2:50 pm

It takes time when giving up the cookie……dude trying to pressures Sassy…BAM!
@Sassy!

so how long,on average is a session of cookie giving for U Sassy?

Sassy1

May 18th, 2011
2:53 pm