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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Being hot is no excuse

Have you ever met someone extremely good looking but has the personality of a neglected house plant?  Or worse, a fine man that knows how fine he is and behaves according to his value on the single’s market.

To add insult to injury, the fact that other people tolerate their foolishness and attitudes makes them less inclined to evolve.  Just because someone is hot is no excuse to not make an effort.  It doesn’t give you the right to say rude things, either.

I don’t meet this type as often as I used to. Perhaps I have figured out how to avoid them. Every so often though, I run into the Hottie from Hell and I am, once again, reminded that I probably contributed to the problem.  At some point in my dating history, I dated someone just for their looks and overlooked their jacked up personality.

We are all guilty! At some point, you have to do a good dating deed and call out these beautiful people.

Do you think we give a pass to people just because they are head turning hot?

I don’t want to stereotype, but crazy people and beautiful people get attention for  a reason. They are exciting to look at but you eventually get over it. At least, that’s been my experience.

Have you ever noticed that some of the hottest people have the worst hangups or personality issues? Do you think this is just a misconception because they are so attractive?

Happy Monday!!

346 comments Add your comment

Bill Clinton

May 16th, 2011
6:41 am

I’m hot and I have a great personality.

Hillary Clinton

May 16th, 2011
6:56 am

Bill,

Get off of this blog !!!

flyguy

May 16th, 2011
7:27 am

I have done a lot of dating and have known a lot of women but the finest woman that I have ever known was also one of the most down to earth intelligent people that I have ever known. It was truly a pleasure to be in her company. She either didn’t know that she was hot or didn’t care, I think it was the latter because everyone told her how hot she was

Barack Obama

May 16th, 2011
7:29 am

Hey Bill- I’m hot, too. Hillary says I’m even hotter than you. Can you loan me a new cigar?

BFDIE(back from Exile)

May 16th, 2011
7:39 am

Why are so quick to label someone’ jacked up’ simply because they nailed(c00rked u) u but wanted no long term commitment?
Hotties have multiple options so if u are going to flaunt ur lil tail at them,they wl nail it,with no strings.

Now u better at playing the game Diva but then u a lil saggy tho!

June2011

May 16th, 2011
7:45 am

Friday, I went out with this guy and he was so disrespectful. He figured because he was fine he could talk to me anyway he chose, as if he was a prize. He could not believe I did not want to sleep with him. I spent the rest of the day in tears, because I could not believe an officer in the military would treat me the way he did and just because we’re both grown doesn’t mean I should be down with a one night stand.

Oh, June...

May 16th, 2011
8:25 am

…grow up – “spent the rest of the day in tears – give me a break!

Lovely Brown

May 16th, 2011
8:26 am

!!! @ June2011’s post. Big cyberhug to you.

I married the hottie. It can be a bit much at times. But he thinks(knows LOL!) I’m hot too so it evens out. I have found a lot of times that some folk get passes because of their looks. Most of us have used our (ass)ets whatever they may be to our advantage at some point.

Ark2011

May 16th, 2011
8:30 am

A beautiful woman with a great body (note: RACK) gets a pass anywhere in society, whether it be in the office, from a police officer to special perks in day to day life. It’s a fact, I don’t necessarily like it, but it’s true nonetheless. Some things you just have to accept and move on.

Ed

May 16th, 2011
8:31 am

No one likes a scorchingly hot woman more than I do, but they are so much dayum trouble.

knockoutblonde

May 16th, 2011
8:31 am

I know that’s the way it works. Whenever I’m dressed to the nines and show cleavage, people are nicer to me and cut me more slack. When I flirt with them, I can usually get what I want or at least a few freebies. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

David

May 16th, 2011
8:37 am

A hot woman with big tatas is the same as a man in an expensive suit and large back account. Both may as well be given free passes and perks that the rest of us will not get or at least not as much as they do. I agree with Ark2011. Doesn’t make it right or fair, but that’s the way it is. Trying to fight it is like trying to dig a hole in the ocean. You will work awfully hard, but not make any headway.

DemeNik81

May 16th, 2011
8:38 am

Being “hot” has it’s pros and cons in the dating world. Some men find me intimidating but most think that I am down for whatever including one night stands. This is so not the case. I am extremely down to earth and just looking for someone to compliment me on all levels. My looks or those of any person that I am dating don’t matter as much as a great personality. I have been known to dismiss many a beautiful man with with a funky azz attitude.

Edmund

May 16th, 2011
8:41 am

It’s really all about the initial presentation and first impression. I take care of myself, work out and have been called very attractive by some (but not everyone, mind you). When I went out to clubs, sometimes I felt like a rock star from the attention by the opposite sex. I’m sure there are some fine ladies on this blog that get the same treatment.

The difference is when you settle down and get past some of the initial LOOKS part, After the initial looks phase has passed, I may not be as attractive to some women and there are certainly many women that lose their allure once you burrow down to their personality. The trick is to stay in the arena where it works the best.

Lana

May 16th, 2011
8:47 am

I know I’m pretty good looking and work hard on having the figure that I do. I am who I am and you can love it or not. If you don’t, there are 50 guys waiting in line behind you. Treat me like I deserve to get treated and I’ll do the same for you. If you don’t, please drop your number in the trash bin on your way out.

Retired Old Atlantan.

May 16th, 2011
8:58 am

@DemiNik81— There’s a huge difference in the meaning of your comment between the word “compliment” that you used and the word “complement” that you probably intended.

MC Hammock

May 16th, 2011
9:00 am

Hmmmm, after reading these posts, I tend to agree. It’s not fair, but it’s the real world. When it the last time you saw a woman that wasn’t scorching hot or old getting out of a Ferrari, Mercedez or top of the line Lexus. If they are young, they are indeed hot and rode that body or face all the way to the top. Guys with a big wallet are hot to most women. A great looking guy with a big wallet are irrisistable to the opposite sex. I’m sure that a lot of the posters here will say “Oh no, it’s totally about personality.” That’s because they (and this includes ME) don’t have the selection pool that a smoking hot woman or a great looking guy has. We have to take what we can get, while they get whomever they choose.

Al Gore

May 16th, 2011
9:02 am

Y’all are all so funny – but you know I’m so hot that I’m personally responsible for global warming!

Reality

May 16th, 2011
9:10 am

I’ve seen really hot woman that behave in such a way that they are just too much work. But the problem is (like Lana says), there are 50 guys waiting in line for an opportunity. I’ve also seen guys that acted like they were the bee’s knees and god’s gift to the world…very arrogant. Again, the problem is that women are swarming and circling them like a school of shark around a wounded seal. They can choose who ever they want and treat them like they want and the next week, there are 50 more waiting. They won’t change because they have no reason to change. It’s a problem we all wish that we had, even if we say we don’t in a public forum.

Dan - Simply....Superior

May 16th, 2011
9:17 am

I’m going to err on the side of “why couldn’t you bring it out of ‘em?”

This smells like an account of someone being “boring” because they didn’t entertain you. Despite what you see in movies, people are not out to entertain you, it’s a two way street.

Lastly, maybe (jussayin) it wasn’t because (s)he thought (s)he was hot, maybe it was because (s)he didn’t think you were.

SlimNu

May 16th, 2011
9:21 am

Good morning

I think The Beau is hot, sexy, a nice succulent piece of Godiva Chocolate and he doesn’t act that way at all. Sometimes I wish he would believe that I was being genuine whenever I tell him that…oh well

Al

May 16th, 2011
9:27 am

If you think he or she is just too hot n sexy, there is a remedy. Just marry them…….

wow

May 16th, 2011
9:28 am

Leggs

May 16th, 2011
9:31 am

Good morning!

@June ~ you spent the rest of the day in tears? WHY? How did you let his lack of manners and respect jump on you! You should have blasted his a$$$ and made him cry or at least leave him dumbfounded!

I hope we all think we’re hot to some degree!

SlimNu

May 16th, 2011
9:38 am

I hope we all think we’re hot to some degree!

Leggs – I thought I was hot in some form or fashion until The Beau was talking about how small/tiny I am. He was like, you’re borderline crackhead skinny but you’re still sexy. LMAO! I told him he can kick rocks

Leggs

May 16th, 2011
9:45 am

@SlimNU ~ :lol: :lol:

I remember being told I WAS crackhead skinny but sexy as well. You have time to put some meat on your bones…it truly is all good!

Dagnabit, we’re having a fire drill….

abc

May 16th, 2011
9:49 am

I think it depends at least somewhat on what you characterize as ‘hot’. If it’s a model of what the media portrays, it’s possible that shallowness comes with the package; I mean, anyone trying their best to look like Kim Kardashian has to give you pause, at least. Plus, I don’t find that look all that attractive.

If a person looks like they cater excessively to their own vanity, then that’s an indication of what you’d be dealing with if you got close to them. Is that attractive to you?

SlimNu

May 16th, 2011
9:49 am

Leggs – He had invited me to a work picnic/flag football game a few months back and he said that next week at work, all anyone could say was Dang she is Tiny…lol. It’s all good though. Maybe if i pop out a kid some time in the near future, i’ll plump up a bit.

Reality

May 16th, 2011
9:50 am

@ Leggs, We all may THINK we’re hot in some way……but that would only be the menapause hot flashes. I’m sure Rosie O’Donnell thinks she’s hot (in some way), but she ain’t. Chris Farley may THINK he’s hot, but he ain’t. No point in trying to sugar coat it or beat around the bush. Some peeples gots it and some peeples don’t.

AmazonRed™

May 16th, 2011
10:00 am

Morning all -

Yes, I like an attractive man, but not one who thinks they can treat folks any type of way because of it.

I’m usually the chick that’s not impressed, who won’t chase you and won’t let you talk to me/ treat me any type of way.

Oddly enough…sometimes it makes the hot dude chase me harder.

For Real the most interesting man in the world

May 16th, 2011
10:01 am

This goes back to an old post of mine where I stated that today people are straying out of their lanes due to ISED Inflated Self Esteem Disease.

Ugly trying to date beautiful
Broke trying to date rich
Fat trying to date skinny
Uneducated trying to educated

For Real the most interesting man in the world

May 16th, 2011
10:05 am

Wise: Why are you tying looks to bad behavior? I have seen plenty of not so attractive people with bad behavior. I think some people approach the “beautiful ones” with a preconceived notions and a chip on their shoulder.

For Real the most interesting man in the world

May 16th, 2011
10:09 am

Slim: Yes you are small but it works on you for some reason. You got a lil wiggle that’s very pleasing and your clothes always fit your body type and style.

Leggs

May 16th, 2011
10:17 am

@Reality ~ if your self-esteem is good, you will believe you’re hot and hopefully show it. Being hot isn’t only about looks. Self-confidence is hot too!

@SlimNU ~ I was told I would “plump up” after having a baby. My body plumped up with baby and my ta tas were beautiful…after delivering, I lost everything (not the baby).

SexyCool

May 16th, 2011
10:20 am

Aw, For Real…you really know how to give a compliment…that’s what’s up!

SexyCool

May 16th, 2011
10:21 am

And Slim, we know it was genuine because there was no mention of dolphins, black cake or zipping. (lol)

Leggs

May 16th, 2011
10:21 am

@ForReal ~ I remember the first time a man told me he liked “my frame.” I had no idea what he was talking about. I had to ask what that meant. He immediately said, “you’re not from around these parts.” I laughed the rest of the evening playing that back in my mind.

Leggs

May 16th, 2011
10:22 am

@SexyC ~ :lol: very true, very true!

Hillary Clinton

May 16th, 2011
10:27 am

Bill,

Please give Obama the cigar.

SlimNu

May 16th, 2011
10:28 am

For Real – Awwww, thanks :oops: Slim now bracing herself for the splash of ACK ACK, the AA Dolphin :lol:

SlimNu

May 16th, 2011
10:30 am

And Slim, we know it was genuine because there was no mention of dolphins, black cake or zipping

SexyCool – Yeah you’re right but doesn’t mean he won’t pop up in a second like one of those old school Jack in the boxes lol

Don Lemon

May 16th, 2011
10:31 am

Hey, i’m really HOT

SexyCool

May 16th, 2011
10:32 am

I know. I know.

Lovely Brown

May 16th, 2011
10:34 am

I hope we all think we’re hot to some degree

Confidence is very attractive. It has caught Lovely off guard a couple of times.

and not to ruffle anyone’s feathers…..but it always seemed like less attractive men always tried harder. I had to chase Mr. Brown( the hottie) a lil bit. After 25 years of friendship, 15 married I’m not ashamed to admit it now :-)

Chink

May 16th, 2011
10:36 am

I have had my share of some really good looking guys…none have ever been over the top to me…most of the times its the OK guys that seem to have more personality issues.

One thing about the cuties though most of the times they had women going crazy over them ..but I set em straight :)

SlimNu

May 16th, 2011
10:37 am

Leggs – That’s probably what would happen to me if i were ever ‘with child’…and end up losing it all back post birth. Oh well..

SexyCool

May 16th, 2011
10:40 am

No…there are definitely some folks who are not hot….at all.

Leggs

May 16th, 2011
10:40 am

@Don Lemon ~ I wish you well…I can only imagine the difficulties you have had over the years.

SomeGuy

May 16th, 2011
10:42 am

What we’re looking at here is the author’s (rather pathetic) attempt to rationalize her own superficiality. In fact, just look at the author’s pen name – “Wise Diva.” That alone really says it all. Do you know any “divas” that aren’t superficial and shallow? I don’t.

The article itself is an astonishing paradox. On the one hand, “Wise Diva” believes that “hot” people shouldn’t get a pass, because when they do get passes, they have no incentive to improve their personality. They will simply believe that they can get by on their looks. This is true, as modern society puts so much focus on one’s appearance, that an inverse relationship has developed between one’s appearance and their personality. Ergo, the more attractive someone is, the worse of a person they tend to me, and vice versa. However, on the other hand, “Wise Diva” claims that she “contributes to this problem.” Again, this says it all. And my money says, she still does, but may (but probably doesn’t) feel guilty about it. Hence, why she took the time to write this article.

Chink

May 16th, 2011
10:44 am

But the topic is about looks not personality…not “our” looks but the one we are dating or trying to date.