Dating: Unexpected connections
Hello everyone! Our guest blogger today is Molly, who is a returning MIA guest blogger. Check out what she has to say about those inexplicable “connections from a distance”
You meet someone. You instantly connect. I’m talking a connection that takes you aback. It can’t even be classified as a lust or an in love at first sight. It’s simply a familiarity and an immediately accepted love for the other individual. You realize you KNOW this person without ever having known or ever having met them previously.
For some this sounds a bit out there but, for others, you know the exact feeling I am describing. You are immediately in a deep connection with this someone. Sex doesn’t play a role in your connectivity current, although, attraction certainly does. It’s deeper than that. You are thrilled to have even found this person at all.
Yet, things begin to drift. It’s almost an unspoken understanding between the two of you. Perhaps, this person doesn’t live in your city or you in theirs. Or, one or both of you travel for work.
Regardless, you are still in each other’s lives to check in, talk to, or even spend time with when it’s possible but you are very clearly living your own lives. And, no matter this divide you both still feel very connected to each other. You care for the person, you want updates from their world, you still love them in a special way and all those feelings are reciprocated. But it’s all from afar.
You know this person could be your other if only you attempted it. But you don’t. Nor do they. Why is this? Why doesn’t one party or both push for more? Laziness? Fear of the magnitude of it all?
Has anything like this ever happened to you? And, if so, what was/is your reasoning for not pushing for more? Did/do you ever think about it? Or did/do you prefer not to think about it and just let the love continue on it’s intended yet unguided path…from a distance?
By Molly F, Guest Blogger, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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397 comments Add your comment
Raqi V
May 9th, 2011
4:04 pm
Celisea, I think it builds character and a sense of responsibility when they can earn their own money. I already told my son that once he starts buying his own stuff I guarantee he will start taking better care of it.
Willie Dynamite
May 9th, 2011
4:05 pm
Leggs – ok then, I’ll leave the kids at home, hahahaha. When is the next BBQ???? Seriously I have a few kin folks that you cant be literal with. You tell them to make themselves at home they in ya freezer defrosting isht.
Raqi/ARed – really yall are saying the same thing. From a parents POV a want/need is pretty much the same after about 12-13. From a technical standpoint heyal a 40 yr old in the parent s basement doesn’t have a need.
Celisea
May 9th, 2011
4:05 pm
I told him when he gets a job and start making his own money I will allow him to buy all the games and shows he thinks he wants.
I’ll go further because at this point EVERY store we’ve gone into since she’s been working and EVERY ff joint, she’s wanted to stop and buy something. Saturday I had to tell her, sorry but I’m going to have to pull the reins on you. All in one breath she wants to buy, spend and save. LOL It’s okay. That was the perfect opportunity to tell her, fine you’re making your own money but even so, now you have to start making smart choices and learn you cannot buy EVERYTHING you see. Pick a thing, buy it and stick with that selection.
SexyCool
May 9th, 2011
4:05 pm
WillieD – I was mad about the fight Saturday night. Shane needs to hang up the gloves.
SideNote – The Gladys & Ron’s inside the bowling alley in Union City may be a good look once they get all the kinks worked out…well, except for having the bathrooms right by the dining area. The issues that they were having Saturday night resulted in a disorganized, ghetto mess.
Sassy1
May 9th, 2011
4:06 pm
Teenagers needs to be taught how to work. My brothers believe that by sending them boys back to the country they will learnt a good work ethics. My family farms tobacca, peanuts, potatoes, and corn. My family is one of the oldest black farming families in both Carolina’s
Leggs
May 9th, 2011
4:07 pm
My first job, I was 17 and I worked as a legal secretary at Sherman and Sterling, a prestigious law firm on Wall Street. I was thankful! Bypassed fastfood establishments. I needed this internship grade to graduate from college.
AmazonRed™
May 9th, 2011
4:07 pm
I already told my son that once he starts buying his own stuff I guarantee he will start taking better care of it.
Amen…when I was a teen, I volunteered on a suicide hotline. Well there were a lot of Beverly Hills debutantes doing the same, trying to get their community service hours in for their college apps. Well, a lot of them had luxury cars given to them buy their parents.
Anywhoo…one weekend, one of em totaled her brand new Beemer…so daddy replaced it with a Honda. The world as she knew it had come to an end.
I wanted to ask her daddy for a Beemer. I would have taken care of it.
Willie Dynamite
May 9th, 2011
4:09 pm
SC – yep, Mosely was fighting scared as heyal. BUT Manny is a beast and he saw early on he didn’t have nothing for him.
Glady’s and Ron in a bowling Alley, Really. Woooowwwwwwww
AmazonRed™
May 9th, 2011
4:09 pm
Raqi/ARed – really yall are saying the same thing. From a parents POV a want/need is pretty much the same after about 12-13. From a technical standpoint heyal a 40 yr old in the parent s basement doesn’t have a need.
No we aren’t. I’m saying at 17 kids don’t know what it’s like to have to work to provide for their families…nor should they. Buying video games and crap is just extras they’re lucky to have anyway.
Celisea
May 9th, 2011
4:09 pm
Raqi – Celisea, I think it builds character and a sense of responsibility when they can earn their own money. I already told my son that once he starts buying his own stuff I guarantee he will start taking better care of it.
Aside from her being to get the things she desire, this is the main reason I’m okay with. Building character and responsibility. Learning to subject to company rules. My sister told me she dropped her truck off to get washed and the girl in charge (a young lady that keeps an eye out for me) was scolding her but not really on something she half did. She said it was so funny to see them clowning her and making her do it over and all she could do was do it. No back talk, no attitude…just did it. That was the one thing I told her. No matter who is in charge, you mind them and do was you’re told. Most definitely builds character.
The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)
May 9th, 2011
4:11 pm
“when I was a teen, I volunteered on a suicide hotline.”
Celisea
May 9th, 2011
4:11 pm
being able and learning to be subject to company rules…is where I was going.
Sassy1
May 9th, 2011
4:11 pm
At the ends of the summer they comes home with at least $1000’s dollars a peice. They been doing that since they was about 10.
Raqi V
May 9th, 2011
4:12 pm
Celisea, I plan to let my son go broke like my parents did us and I did my oldest. It took me one time to spend all my money in one spot then need money a few days later and my parents said “Nope”. You best believe from then I learned my lesson. I have been a sales rack queen every since. LOL
SexyCool
May 9th, 2011
4:13 pm
But, really, WillieD…it’s funny as all get out to me when I *really* think about two dudes that weigh less than 150pounds a piece fighting – cause I tend to think of it as a “little man fight.”
AmazonRed™
May 9th, 2011
4:13 pm
ARed — Tell the truth now… how many times did you tell somebody “well just KILL YO-SELF then!”
Folks who really want to kill themselves don’t want to talk to some stranger about it first, they just do it.
Raqi V
May 9th, 2011
4:14 pm
Celisea, yep. There are rules everywhere you go. Not just in momma’s/daddy’s house.
Celisea
May 9th, 2011
4:14 pm
Raqi – She was all over the place and thought that money was going to stretch through eternity…lol Yes, I know that approach all too well myself. I’m trying to tell her but if I have to show her for her to “get it”, I’m more than willing.
SexyCool
May 9th, 2011
4:14 pm
“at 17 kids don’t know what it’s like to have to work to provide for their families…nor should they.”
For more folks than you think, this is a reality. And I’m not even throwing teenage mothers/fathers into the equation at this point.
Purple Rain
May 9th, 2011
4:19 pm
Interesting comments
Willie Dynamite
May 9th, 2011
4:20 pm
Ared – ok then. I dont think she meant it literally. But as to your point I agree that it shouldnt be that way BUT we do have Pre 17 yr olds that HAVE to work and be the breadwinner in the household. Dont make it right but your reality (valley girl, j/k) is definitely not someone elses reality.
SC – Lil Man fights are always more exciting than the HW’s. Duran, Arguello,leanard, Pryor all the greats back in the day use to battle it out. The ESPN Friday night fights nowadays are pretty exciting. I stay away from the mega PPV unless somebody got the hook up for free. Waste of money.
Purple Rain
May 9th, 2011
4:21 pm
Once I started getting paid I had to give my parents a percentage of my pay and I had to put a certain percentage in my savings account. They were not going to let me keep my whole check and spend it any way I wanted to. When my son works I am going to do the same, he is going to have to give a percentage to the household. I think that is a great lesson to learn when a kid starts to work.
AmazonRed™
May 9th, 2011
4:21 pm
Pre 17 yr olds that HAVE to work and be the breadwinner in the household.
Duh.
SexyCool
May 9th, 2011
4:21 pm
Following the free fight is what had me in Ghetto Heaven Saturday night. But….them chicken and waffles wuz off da chain!!!
(lol)
Leggs
May 9th, 2011
4:22 pm
@17 I was working and in college…why not contribute to the running of the household I was living in with my mother. I felt it would be selfish of me not to offer some of my paycheck.
AmazonRed™
May 9th, 2011
4:24 pm
SC/Willie D… my point was directed to kids like Chink’s brother who was too good to work at McDonalds. Clearly he is not one of those kids who HAVE to work to provide. That’s why you got kids talking about they don’t wanna work at McDonalds…well neither did I, but at least I found opportunities so I wouldn’t have to.
SexyCool
May 9th, 2011
4:25 pm
And oddly enough, I only remember having to buy clothes and pay for school related things with my money. Don’t remember having to give money for household stuff.
Purple Rain
May 9th, 2011
4:26 pm
I think it’s a parents fault if the kid has to much pride to work at McDonalds. I didn’t want to work at McDonalds because I made way more money working at home, although I was not forced to work at home I was given the option to work where I wanted. But not working was not an option.
AmazonRed™
May 9th, 2011
4:28 pm
I think it’s a parents fault if the kid has to much pride to work at McDonalds.
Gosh, you guys sure were some perfect teens. Kids are followers. They want the cool shoes, the cool gaming system, the cool job. They’re 17…a lot of them don’t get it.
They will tho, eventually.
SexyCool
May 9th, 2011
4:28 pm
I can remember when I got a raise to $3.75 an hour. I thought I was BALLIN’!!!!
Raqi V
May 9th, 2011
4:29 pm
SexyCool, the same here. But I did have to pay to have a second phone line in the house. My brother and I asked for it so we had to split the cost.
Celisea
May 9th, 2011
4:30 pm
Most kids that are working side and summers jobs don’t “have” to work and provide. I can provide everything my kid wants and needs but getting older and being a parent that’s not the wise thing to do…not now, not in the past and certainly not in the future. It’s not a thing to do prior to these years because they aren’t of age. Now that they’re of age and want more and spend more as well as transitioning into adulthood, the time to teach about responsibility and “providing” is ahead of getting out there to do it full time. There are some folks fortunate enough to jump in the game but most was weaned into learning that if you want it you have to work for it, if it’s your family it’s your job to handle, raise and provide. Nothing wrong with growing kids getting of insight into our world slightly ahead of having to go at it full time. And people making their kids work or that did summer/odd jobs is not because they had/have to help take care of home.
The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)
May 9th, 2011
4:31 pm
ARed: Suicide Hotline, this is ARed speaking. What’s *your* problem?
Suicidal Dude: [sniff, sniff] My life is pointless. My girl is f__king the whole football team (including the coaches), my grades suck, I got rejected by every college I applied for, my parents hate me, even my dog won’t come when I call. I think I should just end it all…
ARed: Duh.
AmazonRed™
May 9th, 2011
4:31 pm
I can’t remember what I had to pay for with my summer job paychecks. I remember I paid for driving school, since they took driver’s ed out the year before. I had my own phone, but I doubt my summer wages were enough to pay for it throught the rest of the year when I couldn’t work.
Purple Rain
May 9th, 2011
4:31 pm
Amazon, how were we perfect kids? We just weren’t “prideful” kids. A hards days work gets you a hards day pay. That’s why some folks are sitting at home dealing with pride while jobless when they could be working at McD’s or Walmart to help keep their homes running. LOL
Raqi V
May 9th, 2011
4:32 pm
My mom had a price for a nice pair of shoes but if I wanted something over and above what she said I had to pay the difference. It was her job to dress me and do so decently as a nice young lady should dress. All the extra frills and thrills I had to buy.
chink
May 9th, 2011
4:32 pm
PR I agree with u it is my parents fault they got soft…while I was enslaved as a kid! I saw this coming but I don’t live there anymore
Willie Dynamite
May 9th, 2011
4:33 pm
Duh – dayum forgot you were a Sag, sassymouth Kobe Bryant azz (smile).
SC – I remember having to buy groceries from the store riding my bike with the bags (paper not this plastic isht). Didnt think whether it was a want or need just what my Moms told me to do with my $$$ from working tobacco fields. Its all good, more than 1 way to skin a cat.
Purp – I worked for 2 hours in McD’s when I went to College. I said the heyal with this and dipped. That wasn’t my parents fault I just found a better way.
AmazonRed™
May 9th, 2011
4:33 pm
Amazon, how were we perfect kids? We just weren’t “prideful” kids
It was sarcasm. And I think y’all have short memories…that’s all.
AmazonRed™
May 9th, 2011
4:34 pm
Duh – dayum forgot you were a Sag, sassymouth Kobe Bryant azz (smile).
That has really nothing to do with it. It has everything to do with you stating the obvious tho.
Sassy1
May 9th, 2011
4:34 pm
Since my mama was a sinlge parent, my brothers had to make sure that propane tank outside stays full with they money.
Willie Dynamite
May 9th, 2011
4:35 pm
duh
SexyCool
May 9th, 2011
4:36 pm
I remember riding my bike home from the store one day with a loaf of bread in one hand and my new pocketbook on my shoulder. The pocketbookd slipped down in between the tires and me and the bread went over the handlebars headfirst. I left everything in the street – the bicycle, the pocketbook, the bread, my grandma’s change – everything.
My grandma sent me back down the street to pick everything up and then beat my behind for messing up the bread once I got back home.
Purple Rain
May 9th, 2011
4:36 pm
Willie, the thing is that you found a better way after trying it. Like I said the only reason I did not work in fast food is because they were paying way less than what I was making at home. But the guys that worked in fast food had all the girls(that’s where they hung out)…until us from the country started showing up in our own trucks(that we bought) and had money to go out and take them to the city to do stuff. LOL
Purple Rain
May 9th, 2011
4:37 pm
Amazon, I think you are extra testy today because the Lakers just bent over and gave it up in the series. LOL The Mavs took it like Kobe alone in a hotel room with the maid.
AmazonRed™
May 9th, 2011
4:39 pm
I left everything in the street – the bicycle, the pocketbook, the bread, my grandma’s change – everything.
See…young and dumb….
DreamsMaterialize
May 9th, 2011
4:39 pm
At 17 though, kids don’t understand the NEED to work. And hopefully they aren’t in an age or position to need it anyway.
ARed I agree. My parents actually didn’t let me work until I was 16. My dad said, “You’ll have your whole life to work. Be a kid.” I got my first job (a coop actually) at 16 in the electrical engineering group at Cadillac Division of General Motors.
AmazonRed™
May 9th, 2011
4:40 pm
Purple Rain – I’m not testy about anything. I am stating my opinions, just as you are yours.
For Real
May 9th, 2011
4:40 pm
“Since my mama was a sinlge parent, my brothers had to make sure that propane tank outside stays full with they money.” – Got Dayum!!!! This made me go pee.
Purple Rain
May 9th, 2011
4:40 pm
Dreams is that what inspired you to become an EE?