City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Archive for May, 2011

Summer Getaways

As much as I love living in this city, I love visiting other places.  It’s good to get way from time to time! Not only do you get a break from the grind, you get a chance to taste the good life other places has to offer.

I was in New Orleans earlier this month attending the wedding of a wonderful couple! I was so happy to see them so in love and excited about their future together. (BTW: It was the coolest wedding EVER).

New Orleans is just a romantic place to be, single or not.  Between the food, music, and especially the people, you are bound to have a great time.  I hope to get back to New Orleans for the Essence Festival and I will be headed out to volunteer on my annual trip in Mexico next week.  I would love to squeeze in a quick trip to LA or NY this summer too.

What do you have planned for summer?  Is there a special destination that you plan to check out with a special someone?  Are you planning a girls weekend or a weekend with the guys in Vegas?

What are the top …

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All the right moves

One of my friends “over shared” his secret to figuring out who would be good in bed and who would be bad.  I argued that there is simply no way to tell that sort of thing.  You can speculate and imagine, but you don’t know who will have all the right moves and who will send you into fits of frustration.

Personally, I don’ t ever think that men are sizing me up like that..I’m oblivious to it.  That is how I prefer to remain because being sexy and wanting to appeal to men is one thing.  Trying to display anything beyond that sounds like too much energy.

At any rate,  is it common for some guys to imagine who would be good and who wouldn’t?  Another guy friend told me that a person’s looks directly correlates to their skills.  Honestly, I found that offensive.  What do you think, good looking people aren’t good in bed?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta

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Dating: Youth or Experienced?

I asked Mr. M to guest blog and he wants to talk about something pretty interesting today, I do enjoy a male’s perspective to liven things up!

It’s all about compatibility in dating and he asks “What do you prefer, youth or experience?”

Dating in Atlanta always goes in waves and as time goes on, naturally our taste change as we discussed last week. Lately I have been doing  some volunteering, attending social mixers, events, conferences, and just being out and about. I am meeting a lot of new women who are really cool. There is only one issue that I am confused about: What do I prefer youth or experience?

The young women that I have been meeting are women ranging from 22-26, just getting started in their careers. They also seem a lot more laid back and just fun, maybe it’s because of their inexperience?  The women that are more experienced in life, careers and relationships have their pros and cons also.

If you have a choice, what do you prefer youth and someone that you may …

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Love: Is your heart an idiot?

What is it about love and romance that tends to drive out rational thoughts and behavior?  You can be a confident, brilliant person but once you fall in love you can tumble into a deep abyss of dumbness.

I read about a documentary by Found Magazine creator Davy Rothbart, called “My Heart is an Idiot”.  The title struck me as funny but I actually have thought the same thing about my heart at times.

When you add emotion and sex to any dating “situation” you run the risk of getting caught up.  Sure, you can try to pretend that it’s not happening, but it sometimes the dumb behavior starts.

You overlook red flags, you tolerate things you never thought you would, and then you somehow believe you’re in love.  Do you think that we do the dumb things because are following our heart?

What do you think you learned from following your heart versus following your head (i.e. more logic, less emotion) in dating?

Of course there are no guarantees that you won’t ever get hurt, but what is the …

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Dating: Should ladies let it all hang out?

I read something funny that caught my eye and reminded me about something: A guy said , “Girls spend too much time deciding what to wear; like guys aren’t picturing them naked the whole time.”

It was funny because I had just gone on a date Saturday night and spent no less than 2 hours doing pre-date rituals (Admittedly, I’m crushing hard on the guy, it’s usually 45 minutes prep time.)  Then, as I checked the mirror and headed down the stairs I thought, “I actually want him to like me in sweatpants and a t-shirt too!”

Everyone wants to make a good impression when it’s new but there is something to be said about reaching that stage where you can remove your bra and eat frozen yogurt in front of your man. I’m anxious to get there but I know the importance of getting dolled up and feeling confident on a date.

So be honest guys, how much of the hair, makeup, and clothes are you really paying attention to?

If your date went totally casual, all natural, “carefree” when she shows up, …

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Dating: Attracted to a new type?

Breaking news folks:  The type of person you are attracted to changes. I don’t know the exact moment it happens but your type dramatically changes.  If you’re smart, it gets better and makes more sense.  If you are stuck on stupid..well, then you will probably continue to have a series of trainwreck relationships.

What’s really funny is that you sort of need to take self-inventory from time to time.  It’s almost like you have to remind your self that dating “wildly inappropriate” has a limited shelf life.  You realize that you have had, dare I say, personal growth?  Often it’s a result of some reality checks here and there, but the point is you realize you have changed, thereby your outlook on dating has too.

I would always chase the arrogant, self-confident guys before. Now, I find out that the quiet, reserved guys are more compatible and catch my eye faster.  Who knew!

Have you ever been surprised at the people you are dating or attracted to now? Do you ever think, “Wait, …

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Dating: Too soon to meet the kids?

A reader wants advice on how to handle a situation with her new beau.  He threw her for a loop when he introduced her to his two kids last weekend.  She was not expecting it and they had not discussed it beforehand. They have only been seeing one another for a couple of weeks.

To make matters worse, the kids were not exactly on their best behavior.  She is a single woman with no children and little experience with them.  She is an only child so she is not an Aunt – she isn’t a Godmother, either.  She is pretty much the definition of childless.  Her life literally has not had to revolve around children in any way, shape, or form…until this weekend.

You can imagine how uncomfortable she must have felt.  I believe this had an impact on how the kids received her…or rather how badly it went. Since she has to adjust to kids, I doubt waiting longer would have made much of a difference.

Do you think meeting the children of your date before the three month-mark is a good idea?

If you …

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Dating Dilemma: Not ready for sex

Have you ever been in a situation where you decide to postpone/delay getting physical with someone you are dating?  It can be difficult explaining why you aren’t ready.  You don’t want to send the wrong message that “not now” actually means not ever.  So how do you tell someone you just need more time?

Everyone has different waiting periods – from minutes to months – when it comes to deciding when they want to hook up.  You would think that it is easy to meet someone with similar waiting periods, but it can be tricky.

While one person is ready to “get it out of the way” before things get too serious, someone else may want the opposite.

How do you bring it up when you see that you are headed to that part of the night  when you want to cool things off before it goes to far?

What would happen if your decision to delay sex is met with hostility? Is that one of those defining moments that can make or break a relationship?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating …

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Why do you need marriage?

I don’t think that anyone should be talked into marriage.  If you don’t want to marry, you definitely should not do it.  You know what you want, right? So ..I don’t understand why people try to convince people who do want to be married, that they are wrong for wanting to get married.

A couple I know have been together for a couple of years and one of them decided that marriage is not what he wants.  This is causing quite a dilemma now because he wants to convince his significant other that being together should be enough.

What do you do when you realize that your views about marriage has changed since you first started dating someone? How do you explain the reason you want and need to get married?

A lot of people change their outlook on something, but when that has an impact on the person you are with, how do you figure out what to do next?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Being hot is no excuse

Have you ever met someone extremely good looking but has the personality of a neglected house plant?  Or worse, a fine man that knows how fine he is and behaves according to his value on the single’s market.

To add insult to injury, the fact that other people tolerate their foolishness and attitudes makes them less inclined to evolve.  Just because someone is hot is no excuse to not make an effort.  It doesn’t give you the right to say rude things, either.

I don’t meet this type as often as I used to. Perhaps I have figured out how to avoid them. Every so often though, I run into the Hottie from Hell and I am, once again, reminded that I probably contributed to the problem.  At some point in my dating history, I dated someone just for their looks and overlooked their jacked up personality.

We are all guilty! At some point, you have to do a good dating deed and call out these beautiful people.

Do you think we give a pass to people just because they are head turning hot?

I don’t …

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