accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Sure about what you want?

Earlier this week, we talked about overlooking a certain type in dating. I started to think that part of the reason we overlook people is that we aren’t truly clear on what we want. We get this image in our heads of who we think we want in theory, but when that person shows up, would we feel the same way?

Bloomburg Businessweek sent me an article about the science behind Match.com. Actually, it’s the math behind it, specifically, algorithims: “Match.com tweaks its algorithms based on whom a user e-mails or checks out” So, you can see where this is headed right?

My favorite part of the article? To wit: “When people first sign up on Match.com they fill out a questionnaire. That’s where Thombre’s biggest challenge arises: Bad data. Users exaggerate their IQs and lowball their waistlines. They frequently discard their stated preferences. Match.com has found that 49 percent of men who insist on a woman who wants children actually chase prospective mates who don’t particularly care. “They will say, ‘I’m only interested in guys between the ages of 18 and 30,’” Thombre sighs. “The next thing you know they are e-mailing a 38-year-old.”

Oh and the best line ever: Behavior often conflicts with stated desires.

What are your thoughts? Do you ever notice how behavior conflicts with stated desires when it comes to who we are drawn to vs. who we say we want?

How sure are you when it comes to who and what you really want in a mate? Does your behavior “match”?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

191 comments Add your comment

abc

April 29th, 2011
4:19 pm

abc

April 29th, 2011
4:20 pm

Last one… yall can google for yourselves, if it’s of any interest!

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2010/08/04/cnn-poll-quarter-doubt-president-was-born-in-u-s/

Just sayin… it certainly has been an ongoing issue for a lot of Americans across the board.

Purple Rain

April 29th, 2011
4:21 pm

He is the President, he is supposed to succumb to every question a “group” has. If there was something to be exploited there you better believe the ones who didn’t want a black president would have been on it a long time ago. He could have been born in Timbuktu, if his mother is American he is American. How weak would that look if he stopped doing his job to respond to every question people had. He’s the President and he is busy doing his job, and at any rate to little to late he is in office now. LOL

Leggs

April 29th, 2011
4:23 pm

@abc ~ I doubt 1000% that President Obama stopped the foolishness over his birth certificate because of Trumpster. President Obama is still laughing at that clown (very approp for all the white skin around his eyes). I believe all he wanted to do was put the issue to bed and try to get back on track with more pressing issues. Trumpster was a hinderance. Sure people listen when Trumpster speaks, but you best believe he’s no E.F. Hutton!!

abc

April 29th, 2011
4:23 pm

Mo (aka Moeisha)

April 29th, 2011
4:24 pm

Dreams – hey there! How’s it going!

TGIF!

Sassy – LOL @ Marco!

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 29th, 2011
4:24 pm

“53% of the South and 58% of all Republicans” — Um, that’s the South and GOP. Not exactly an accurate depiction of the country as a whole.

“81% think Obama should cough up a real birth certificate” — Doesn’t mean they doubted his birthplace. I venture to guess that most of those calling for this just wanted this stupid issue to go away, which, sadly, it never will no matter what evidence he produces.

“25% doubt Obama’s birthplace” — That sounds about right. And those 25% are racist idiots.

Purple Rain

April 29th, 2011
4:25 pm

If enough people ask questions no matter what the answer is, even if proof is shown they are going to think what they want. I would like to know the majority gender and race of those who think he is NOT an American citizen.

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 29th, 2011
4:28 pm

“I would like to know the majority gender and race of those who think he is NOT an American citizen.”

They’re white and male. And I’d stake my right nut on that. (Which, for me, means I’m really confident I’m right) :lol:

Leggs

April 29th, 2011
4:30 pm

:lol: :lol: I hear ya, swiss!

5 Minutes of Funk is what the Trumpster is!!!!

czBrat

April 29th, 2011
4:32 pm

i am generally sympathetic to those with mental health challenges, but it’s been my experience that when you add alcohol abuse to the mix they just become a straight up pain in the azz. ijs

hope all is well in your world, slim.

Leggs

April 29th, 2011
4:33 pm

Where did that come from, czB?

Pump up the Jam!!!

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 29th, 2011
4:34 pm

And 26% of Americans don’t know the country from which the US gained its independence.

Just sayin’…

If you’re looking for stupid, it’s easy to find.

Leggs

April 29th, 2011
4:34 pm

Get your booty on the floor tonight, make my day…

DreamsMaterialize

April 29th, 2011
4:34 pm

July 2009: Brendan Nylan poll says 53% of the South and 58% of all Republicans have doubts or flat-out don’t believe Obama about his birthplace;
A poll of southerners and a poll of Republicans is CLEARLY a biased sample and not representative of the “citizenry” as a whole. Such a sample would certainly fail a simple t-test. Not statistically valid.

July 2009: AOL poll shows that 81% think Obama should cough up a real birth certificate in an AOL poll;
81% of whom? Additionally, a poll asking if a person thinks the president should produce his birth certificate is different than asking if a person believes that the president was born in the US. There a many people who believed the president was born in the US who also wanted him to produce his birth certificate, for no other reason than to put a sock in the mouths of nay-sayers.

August 2010, CNN poll says 25% doubt Obama’s birthplace.
Again, 25% of whom? So, we have 53% of southerners, 58% of republicans, 81% of an unspecified demographic responding to an ambiguous question, and 25% of another unspecified population. Certainly all of these different metrics cannot be addressing the question of his birthplace. If they are, then the statistical variability ranges from 25% to 81%, hardly believeable! That’s like saying the height of a suspected criminal is between 5′1″ and 6′7″; weight between 140lbs and 320lbs; hair grey, brown, blond, or redhead; wearing a blue or white or black or green or pink trenchcoat, or maybe a sweater.

Leggs

April 29th, 2011
4:37 pm

It takes Two To Make a Thing Go Right….

That was good, DreamsM!

@abc ~ you care to rebut?

SlimNumeroUno

April 29th, 2011
4:38 pm

CZ – Yeah you are totally right about that. I have a VERY close member of my family that is seriously going through some things right now and they just lost their job earlier this week. So of course you know that is not going to have a positive effect on the already existing depression & alcoholic issue. I’m just stressed the hell out

Leggs

April 29th, 2011
4:38 pm

Even the ones who never saw me like the way I rock….you don’t like it so what I don’t care!!!

abc

April 29th, 2011
4:38 pm

I think refusal to acknowledge the each sides perspective represents an emotional commitment to one’s perspective that makes rationale a moot point. Then people call it ‘passion’; I tend to think of it as kinda stupid.

Another case of that would be Middle Eastern culture in general. They’re so emotionally committed to their perspective, they don’t much give a dayum about rationale. They just want to kill the other side, whoever the other side is.

DreamsMaterialize

April 29th, 2011
4:38 pm

hey czBrat any word on Kym? lol

abc

April 29th, 2011
4:39 pm

rebut?! It takes two to make it outta sight!

Leggs

April 29th, 2011
4:40 pm

Yes, it takes two to make a thing go right…I stand along, don’t need anyone cuz I’m Rob….

Leggs

April 29th, 2011
4:40 pm

Sorry abc…was asking you a question, then I started singing.

DreamsMaterialize

April 29th, 2011
4:41 pm

rebut?! It takes two to make it outta sight!
hahaha that’s great. you’re alright abc (not that you care for my approval). lol and with that I’m out.

abc

April 29th, 2011
4:43 pm

Now, you may wish to discount the opinions of more than half the Southerner’s in that poll, but it’s a lot of people, they’re all citizens, and Obama is their President. He didn’t much care what they thought, not enough to satisfy their demands for proof.

At the same time, folks around here get upset if AA demographics are singled out for issues like unwed motherhood or marriage. But for an issue like Obama’s proof of birthplace, demographics count, all of a sudden? More emotional commitment to perspective, I figure. Passion. Thppt.

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 29th, 2011
4:43 pm

Who’s refusing to acknowledge whom? You’ve offered arguments, we’ve offered detailed, point-by-point rebuttals. Just because we don’t agree with you doesn’t make us irrational. Maybe it’s you who fail to acknowledge the other perspective…?

Purple Rain

April 29th, 2011
4:44 pm

Let’s talk about how many time Trump has been sued for discriminatory practices against minorities and how he messed up his fathers legacy who was know for always helping minorities.

czBrat

April 29th, 2011
4:45 pm

slim, depression is rather common in my fam but not alcoholism. alcohol (in moderation) will generally numb the sadness. but my ex’s family had rampant depression/bipolar AND alcoholism and that made for some non-stop madness. if the job contributed to the depression or drinking, this may be a great opportunity to shed the destructive behaviors and get a clean start. best to you and yours.

dreams the evasive answer from an above-ground source states her absence may or may not be weather related. i’ll keep you posted. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

abc

April 29th, 2011
4:48 pm

Not really, Swiss… I acknowledge both sides. On the one hand, calling the President a liar about something as basic as his birthplace is poor form; on the other hand, not proving his status sooner demonstrates the President cares about the citizenry on a partisan basis. And, I voted for him.

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 29th, 2011
4:49 pm

I’m not saying that 25% of the country isn’t a lot of people. What I’m saying is that there is nothing anyone can say or do that will ever satisfy that particular 25%. Proof has been offered, from the very beginning, but it wasn’t enough.

You can’t be reasoned out of something you weren’t reasoned into.

Leggs

April 29th, 2011
4:49 pm

Ya want this party started right. Set it off on the left, set it off on the right…at least I’m still in the political arena with you guys. Left wing, right wing…set it off!!!

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 29th, 2011
4:50 pm

abc — How many of those 25% do you think are satisfied now?

SlimNumeroUno

April 29th, 2011
4:53 pm

cz – thanks… *sigh* Maybe I should dance my cares away, especially since Leggs is getting her jam on right now lol

abc

April 29th, 2011
4:53 pm

Well, Obama’s election margin was something like 52-53% for, 47-48% not for him; I’d actually figure that to have slid against him since he took office. As far as his birthplace, who knows? The things illustrates to me that a lot of people will believe what they want to believe, in spite of whatever.

I believe I’ll pick up some Newcastle on the way home.

abc

April 29th, 2011
4:57 pm

Now, what yall thinking about the Inman Park Festival? Worth attendance?

Leggs

April 29th, 2011
5:02 pm

@SlimnNu/czB ~ I hope the two of you remain strong for your family members.

I shouldn’t be dancing amidst all this political jargon, but I must else I’ll fall asleep.

Everyone enjoy the weekend. It’s going to be a beaut!

PEACE….{{I am now tap dancing out the door to Outkast’s “I Like the Way You Move”}}!!

czBrat

April 29th, 2011
5:05 pm

lol @ leggs’ weekend opener shuffle.

ciao!

Purple Rain

April 29th, 2011
5:08 pm

Swiss, none are.

Purple Rain

April 29th, 2011
5:08 pm

Leggs

April 29th, 2011
5:10 pm

All I wanna do is a zoom zoom zoom in your boom boom! Let’s shake it up…

I like the way you comb your hair…I like the stylish clothes you wear.

Shake it baby, now stop and do the booty drop! Shake it baby, shake it baby!!!

Leggs

April 29th, 2011
5:12 pm

All singing aside…keep smiling (and dancing)!

ciao!