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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Sure about what you want?

Earlier this week, we talked about overlooking a certain type in dating. I started to think that part of the reason we overlook people is that we aren’t truly clear on what we want. We get this image in our heads of who we think we want in theory, but when that person shows up, would we feel the same way?

Bloomburg Businessweek sent me an article about the science behind Match.com. Actually, it’s the math behind it, specifically, algorithims: “Match.com tweaks its algorithms based on whom a user e-mails or checks out” So, you can see where this is headed right?

My favorite part of the article? To wit: “When people first sign up on Match.com they fill out a questionnaire. That’s where Thombre’s biggest challenge arises: Bad data. Users exaggerate their IQs and lowball their waistlines. They frequently discard their stated preferences. Match.com has found that 49 percent of men who insist on a woman who wants children actually chase prospective mates who don’t particularly care. “They will say, ‘I’m only interested in guys between the ages of 18 and 30,’” Thombre sighs. “The next thing you know they are e-mailing a 38-year-old.”

Oh and the best line ever: Behavior often conflicts with stated desires.

What are your thoughts? Do you ever notice how behavior conflicts with stated desires when it comes to who we are drawn to vs. who we say we want?

How sure are you when it comes to who and what you really want in a mate? Does your behavior “match”?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

191 comments Add your comment

Purple Rain

April 29th, 2011
2:59 pm

The U.S doesn’t deal with terrorist but yet we are supposed to think the U.S. govenrment will bend for Trump? This was a Chess move not only against Trump but against tons of others as Obama is about to hit the campaign trail soon.

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 29th, 2011
3:00 pm

Actually, the “don’t ask don’t tell” was repealed, but I agree with you on Gitmo and Afghanistan. And requiring people to purchase insurance is how the insurance companies make up the revenue lost by adhering to the protective provisions of the bill. Will it work? Who knows, but the current situation is unsustainable, so something had to be done.

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 29th, 2011
3:01 pm

Should have read:

the “don’t ask don’t tell” policy

cba

April 29th, 2011
3:03 pm

PR, I agree it was a chess move.
So now they turn to his college transcript.
Yeah, the kool- aid might look refreshing, but I aint drinking it.

Purple Rain

April 29th, 2011
3:07 pm

cba they are just hitting some stuff off at the pass before he runs again. I am sure that every president has NOT completed everything thin that was majorly promised while running or serving. It depending what it is, it affect certain individuals differently. Democracy at it’s finest.

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 29th, 2011
3:09 pm

“all he had to do was produce an appropriate birth certificate as conclusive proof.”

He did. In 2008. The “birthers” were the only ones who felt the document wasn’t “appropriate.”

“Citizens were asking for it…”

No, a few racist f__ks, who wouldn’t believe it was real regardless of what he released were asking for it, so why bother?

The only reason some folks made an issue out of this is because he’s black. It is documented fact that John McCain was born outside of US soil, but somehow that wasn’t a problem in his case. Wonder why?

cba

April 29th, 2011
3:09 pm

abc, what plan have the GOP put forth for healthcare? The more options on the table, the better chance for a solid plan. As Siss said, the current system is headed for destruction. Please don’t tell me people can just purchase their own healthcare just like they do car or homeowners insurance.

Celisea

April 29th, 2011
3:12 pm

Alrighty then…page 3 huh? I thought for sure by now we’d be turning pages about the royal wedding. Okay then. I’ll pop in later if I’m still here.

Leggs

April 29th, 2011
3:14 pm

Swiss has turned into a Siss.

abc

April 29th, 2011
3:15 pm

Regarding health care, it has always been true that if you can afford it, you’ll get the best available in the world, and if you can’t, you get old, sick and die. That’s life. There isn’t a cure for that. The effort being put forth in that area is wasted effort. Instead, we should be getting out of wars, which would have the biggest possible impact on spending.

I suppose I’m an isolationist. I figure messing around with sovereign nations, no matter how despotic their leadership, shouldn’t be such a major activity of American government. Libya, Egypt, Afghanistan, Iraq… none of our business. We didn’t go in there to fight terrorism — the terrorists didn’t arrive in Iraq until our armies showed up.

czBrat

April 29th, 2011
3:16 pm

hey people. must be crazy slow convo today. anyone in here NOT talking politics?

Leggs

April 29th, 2011
3:18 pm

I’m not (not anymore). You want a side convo??

czBrat

April 29th, 2011
3:19 pm

yes dearie. whassup? does kym still blog?

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 29th, 2011
3:21 pm

“and if you can’t, you get old, sick and die.”

That last part as actually only true in the US, or in 3rd-world countries. Every other modern, industrialized nation has some form of national health care.

And, don’t kid yourself. It’s not like we don’t already have subsidized care for the uninsured. It’s just that currently, all we subsidize is life or death emergency care — the least effective and most expensive kind of care. Maybe if we just forked over some $$ for preventative care up front, we might avoid greater costs later and see better results.

Leggs

April 29th, 2011
3:22 pm

:lol: Many bloggers have fallen into the deep end of the pool. Perhaps more and more will come out of hibernation now that the spring is summer and summer is right behind the corner.

I want to have a fish fry. I don’t have the fish, I don’t have the fryer, I don’t have cover from the hot azz sun, but I do have a cooler for beer. Seriously, I’m just being silly. But, I do have the cooler.

Leggs

April 29th, 2011
3:23 pm

See, mind working faster than my fingers.

Now that spring is HERE and summner is right behind the corner….sheesh!

DreamsMaterialize

April 29th, 2011
3:23 pm

I love their battle cry: “It’s not a birth certificate. It’s a certificate of live birth.”
Swiss which is a birth certificate. They’re idiots. You’re right about John McCain too. That issue was raised, looked into, and forgotten all in a matter of weeks.

And what’s the big deal about being forced to purchase healthcare insurance? We’re forced to purchase car insurance. Yeah I know, it’s state mandated and not federally mandated. Well in that case they should blast the MA healthcare bill, which is just the state version of the federal legislation. You just have to decide where you want to bite the bullet. Right now we subsidize poor people’s coverage in the form of emergency room visits, which in turn drives up the cost of everyone else’s coverage. My emergencey room co-pay is now $150! Shyyyyt if I got shot in the leg I might as well pour some robutussin on it and bandage it up myself.

Leggs

April 29th, 2011
3:24 pm

Or fingers working faster than the brain. Take your pick!

Leggs

April 29th, 2011
3:27 pm

@DreamsM ~ you made me pull out insurance cards on myself and the rugrat. For both of us, ER visits are $100. I remember when they were $50.

Chink

April 29th, 2011
3:28 pm

Shoot let’s not talk about the cost for an ambulance…I’ll rather take a cab!

DreamsMaterialize

April 29th, 2011
3:28 pm

does kym still blog?
Dreams quietly and inconspicuously eavesdropping to try to find out the answer to this question since it has been asked many times and ignored.

czBrat

April 29th, 2011
3:29 pm

well, we have the fish and the fryer. let’s make it happen.

i was just wondering if she had moved away like I AM or perhaps got herself banned with that saucy lil attitude. :lol:

czBrat

April 29th, 2011
3:31 pm

it has been asked many times and ignored.
LMAO. oops. sure didn’t mean to start nothing. perhaps i need an updated blog manual so i can properly mind my p’s & q’s.

czBrat

April 29th, 2011
3:31 pm

and questions :lol:

DreamsMaterialize

April 29th, 2011
3:32 pm

DreamsM ~ you made me pull out insurance cards on myself and the rugrat. For both of us, ER visits are $100. I remember when they were $50
Leggs I know people who have $200 copays.

Shoot let’s not talk about the cost for an ambulance…I’ll rather take a cab!
Chink or limp your wounded a$$ to the hospital. lol

DreamsMaterialize

April 29th, 2011
3:34 pm

LMAO. oops. sure didn’t mean to start nothing. perhaps i need an updated blog manual so i can properly mind my p’s & q’s.
czBrat naw naw naw, you probably got way more blog clout than I do. I’m a nobody. They might respond to you though. ;-)

abc

April 29th, 2011
3:34 pm

You have a choice about car insurance. If you don’t want to pay car insurance, you can take a cab or a bus, or MARTA if you don’t mind an azz whuppin. If you would refuse to buy health insurance, what, you’d cease living, leave the country?

Preventative care can’t be mandated. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. You can lead a person to the tub, but you can’t make them take a bath. You can’t change diets, nor any personal habits, by government mandate.

The certificate previously submitted was created by request, not a notarized copy of an original. Are you going to tell me anyone can’t get a notarized copy of their own birth certificate if they feel like doing it? Especially the President of the United States? It’s not a matter of proof of where he was born, to me. It’s a matter of refusing to answer questions raised by the citizenry. I figure that’s just as bogus as people insisting he was born on Mars.

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 29th, 2011
3:35 pm

Dreams — And my favorite part about this whole, stupid, “birther” BS is that the question of where he was born is quite possibly moot, anyway.

The constitution does not say that one must be born within the borders of the US to be eligible for the office of president. It says one must be a “natural born” citizen, but never explicitly defines exactly what that means. There have been a number of legal opinions over the years, but the issue has never been settled definitively.

If you take it to strictly mean that you must have been born in the US, then any child of military parents born overseas would be ineligible — which seems a bit silly, really.

If you take the more reasonable meaning of having been a citizen at the time of birth, then it wouldn’t matter if Obama had been born on the moon. He was born to a US citizen mother, therefore he was “born” a US citizen himself.

Leggs

April 29th, 2011
3:37 pm

“You can lead a person to the tub, but you can’t make them take a bath.” Ummmm, you can push them in! No doubt a mess and might get hurt, but it can be done.

Purple Rain

April 29th, 2011
3:39 pm

His mother is a citizen so he is a citizen!

Hello CanalZone

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 29th, 2011
3:40 pm

Sigh…

The certificate released in 2008 was the very document that the state of Hawai’i releases for any and everyone requesting a birth certificate. This wasn’t something put together especially for Obama. It was a standard, legally valid document that anyone could use to get a passport, for example. It IS a f__king birth certificate. The only people raising cane about the “short form” would have sworn the “long form” was a fake if he had released it. It was, and is a BS “issue” and he shouldn’t have to justify such stupidity with a response.

Leggs

April 29th, 2011
3:44 pm

The certificate released in 2008 was the very document that the state of Hawai’i releases for any and everyone requesting a birth certificate. This wasn’t something put together especially for Obama. It was a standard, legally valid document that anyone could use to get a passport, for example. It IS a f__king birth certificate. The only people raising cane about the “short form” would have sworn the “long form” was a fake if he had released it. It was, and is a BS “issue” and he shouldn’t have to justify such stupidity with a response.

Needed to be said again.

DreamsMaterialize

April 29th, 2011
3:47 pm

I figure that’s just as bogus as people insisting he was born on Mars.
abc or Kenya.

or MARTA if you don’t mind an azz whuppin.
This IS funny though. haha

Mo (aka Moeisha)

April 29th, 2011
3:47 pm

Wow its slow around these parts!! I expected to come in and find at least 6 pages!

How is everyone…….HELLO??

:smile:

abc

April 29th, 2011
3:50 pm

I disagree. Citizenry wanted better proof, and he blew them off. Most notable is that it took bad press to motivate him to produce the irrefutable proof. Until then, he didn’t care. No matter how common that is among politicians, it’s not an ingredient of leadership, especially as I’d hope from a President.

czBrat

April 29th, 2011
3:50 pm

hi reign. how r ya?

dreams, i tried not to laugh at that MARTA line the first time i read it. why you gotta re-post? it ain’t right. *snickering*

czBrat

April 29th, 2011
3:53 pm

ya’ll have to excuse me for a minute while i enjoy this performance to “super freak” in lil miss sunshine

SlimNumeroUno

April 29th, 2011
3:53 pm

Slim is finally in da houuuuuse….what’s hannenenninn?

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 29th, 2011
3:56 pm

“Citizenry wanted better proof, and he blew them off.”

Except that it wasn’t the “citizenry” who wanted “better proof” — it was a small segment of wing-nuts who will never be satisfied by any amount “proof” he may offer. There is no such thing as sufficient proof to this portion of the “citizenry” because this whole thing is not based on logic or actual evidence — it’s based on pure, unyielding hatred, which no amount of “proof” will ever satisfy.

Leggs

April 29th, 2011
3:58 pm

“Citizenry wanted better proof, and he blew them off. NO HE DIDN’T Most notable is that it took bad press to motivate him to produce the irrefutable proof. NO, IT DIDN’T.

abc

April 29th, 2011
4:00 pm

That’s not true; polling showed that over a period of a year, starting at 30% and then more than 50% of the country had come to have doubts about it, because the President was not forthcoming. Until Donald Trump made a bunch of noise about it. Donald Trump! THEN Obama responds? Come on, now.

I was starting to wonder what Obama had to hide, myself.

DreamsMaterialize

April 29th, 2011
4:02 pm

Citizenry wanted better proof, and he blew them off.
abc what “citizenry”? How many people constitute this group of people, and how many does it take before such a request is considered worthy of a response. There are surely a group of “citizenry” who would like for the president to personally find them a job. Is he blowing them off by not honoring this request? Damn right he is, and justifiably so. Besides, why does anyone need better proof than the short form birth certificate?

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 29th, 2011
4:03 pm

“starting at 30% and then more than 50% of the country”

That was polling of likely GOP primary voters, not the country as a whole. Wing-nuts.

DreamsMaterialize

April 29th, 2011
4:05 pm

polling showed that over a period of a year, starting at 30% and then more than 50% of the country had come to have doubts about it
abc please cite the source of this poll. I have serious doubts about their sampling methodology.

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 29th, 2011
4:09 pm

Also, it’s not as if this is the first time he responded to the issue. He responded when the issue was first raised in 2008 by releasing his birth certificate. That satisfied pretty much everyone, except for the wing nuts, and it was pretty much a dead issue until Trump came along looking for a carrot to dangle for the GOP base. This has not been an ongoing issue, as you make it seem. It was raised; he responded. It was raised again; he responded again.

Sassy Me :-)

April 29th, 2011
4:10 pm

…….HELLO??

Marco….

DreamsMaterialize

April 29th, 2011
4:13 pm

Mo what’s good with you?

slim nice of you to finally grace us with your presence. We’ll take what we can get though.

Sassy polo. ;-)

abc

April 29th, 2011
4:16 pm

Well, I posted a bunch of links to polls, but the site blocked it.

July 2009: Brendan Nylan poll says 53% of the South and 58% of all Republicans have doubts or flat-out don’t believe Obama about his birthplace;

July 2009: AOL poll shows that 81% think Obama should cough up a real birth certificate in an AOL poll;

August 2010, CNN poll says 25% doubt Obama’s birthplace.

SlimNumeroUno

April 29th, 2011
4:17 pm

Dreams – Well I appreciate it…

Hey any of you all ever dealt with someone with an addiction? Alcohol mixed with Severe Depression?

abc

April 29th, 2011
4:18 pm