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Dating: How much information are you entitled to?

I was talking to my friend about his new relationship when he asked me how he could find out if she had a friends with benefits situation with someone.  We actually had a full on discussion about whether he should ask her outright (absolutely not) or how he could read the “signs” and tell. (For the record, all of his supposed signs were dumb)

I thought it was incredibly sweet (although slightly insane) that he was acting so irrationally about this young lady.   I have never seen him this “concerned” about a woman’s single status.  At the same time, I had to give him a reality check.  Keep this up and you will surely blow it, dude. Relax and let things continue to progress naturally. My guess is, the more he spends time with her, the less he will worry about “other dudes” or competition.

To be honest, I never think you should ask for information that you really don’t want the answer to. What would he do if she said, “Yes, I’m getting served up on a weekly basis when I’m not with you!”  When you are just in the getting to know you stage of dating, you aren’t entitled to every single detail of that person’s life.

Do you ever wonder if the person you are dating is seeing multiple people? Would it bother you if they were?

How much information do you think you are entitled to? What would you do if someone you were seeing asked you if you were pursuing/seeing/sleeping with other people? Would you be offended? Have you ever asked that question on a date?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

428 comments Add your comment

Wife # 3

April 27th, 2011
5:01 pm

I wish I had known about the other 2 :(

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 27th, 2011
5:01 pm

You can’t say “lurk-er” anymore?

Sassy Me :-)

April 27th, 2011
5:01 pm

let it go bionic wang man…..it’s okay

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 27th, 2011
5:02 pm

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 27th, 2011
5:02 pm

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 27th, 2011
5:02 pm

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 27th, 2011
5:03 pm

how about just “ker”

SexyCool

April 27th, 2011
5:03 pm

now THAT is too funny…

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 27th, 2011
5:04 pm

So, I suppose one of the many incarnations of “lurk-er” must have p!ssed somebody off…

Mike P

April 27th, 2011
5:04 pm

SexyCool, It depends…
If my thoughts on her is that she “MAY BE” a potential girl-friend candidate but I gotta date her to see if she is indeed an actual “candidate”: then no, I honestly wouldn’t be satisfied with that answer manly because it was a yes or no question.

If however, the woman had asked me for my number or I wanted her number as friends only, then I wouldn’t care all that much about her avoiding my direct question since I don’t date friends, I would only hang out with her, she’d pay her way or I’d pay my own.

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 27th, 2011
5:06 pm

E.O.D:

“If she won’t give you the information you ask for, put it in her butt. Works every time.” ~ Big Tim

SexyCool

April 27th, 2011
5:08 pm

Okay…I had to go back and read the dialog that you posted, when did “And what about you?” become a yes or no question?

Mike: And what about you?
Chick: Yes.

Huh?!?!?

SexyCool

April 27th, 2011
5:10 pm

Because isn’t the standard for determining whether a question is a yes or no question the fact that it can be answered with just one word? Yes or no….

Leggs

April 27th, 2011
5:11 pm

Nice catch, SexyC!

Leggs

April 27th, 2011
5:12 pm

And what about you?

No.

You can answer it with one word. Will it makes sense is another can of beans.

Mike P

April 27th, 2011
5:15 pm

Sexycool:
the question she asked me (So are you seeing anyone?)was a yes or no question: I answer no = nope and then i added the addendum (I’m single and available), added commentary really. Afterwards I threw her question back at her (So are you seeing anyone?) by saying, “and what about you?” still a yes or no question if you follow the logic.

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 27th, 2011
5:17 pm

“if you follow the logic”

You’re arguing with a chick. Logic is irrelevant. ;-) :lol:

Oh sh!t, where’d I put my vest???

Mike P

April 27th, 2011
5:18 pm

so if princess says no to that question, I am going to operate as if she’s not “seeing ANYONE” if later down the line the truth comes to light that she had a FWB while dating me, game over… (1) because she lied to me (2) homie don’t play that!!!

if princess says yes, then i would not date her at that time, since I’m not desperate.

SexyCool

April 27th, 2011
5:18 pm

Okay…so, now I can’t follow logic? Really? Naw…still doesn’t fly.

Because following *normal* conversation, if her response is “No. I’m not.”, the question could then be “Are you not what? Single and available? Or not seeing anyone?”

There is too much in the context of what you posted that can be misconstrued and really, people don’t talk like that….THAT’s what’s not logical.

Mike P

April 27th, 2011
5:20 pm

we’re talking about general conversational logic Swiss lol :)
it would’ve been easier to simply say it/hear it rather than typing/reading it on computer screen

SexyCool

April 27th, 2011
5:22 pm

Swiss…what’s really not logical is me arguing logic with a man. If this blog has proven nothing else, it’s that men and women operate under different schools of logic than men. And men, because female logic is not their logic, have declared females to be incapable of possessing logic at all.

We just speak a different language. And your inability to speak my language does not erase the existence of that language.

I’m out…two fangas….(that means peace)

Mike P

April 27th, 2011
5:22 pm

sexycool: Okay…so, now I can’t follow logic? Really? Naw…still doesn’t fly.
nope, i wasn’t insinuating that you couldn’t follow logic.

SexyCool

April 27th, 2011
5:23 pm

correction – it’s that women operate under different schools of logic than men.

SexyCool

April 27th, 2011
5:25 pm

So…the qualifier has gone from not sleeping with anyone on a casual basis to not dating anyone else at all?

Mike P

April 27th, 2011
5:30 pm

no… if Princess has a FWB, i wouldn’t go any further with her… if she’s dating others, then she’s not seriously dating me (my own assumption) so i wouldn’t either, until her and i have that talk… about if she’s “sexing somebody while dating me Before i would seriously date her (hence our earlier conversation this afternoon).

Mike P

April 27th, 2011
5:31 pm

as you can see… answering honestly in the very begining saves both a lot of time, money, and possible heartache

Mike P

April 27th, 2011
5:32 pm

g’nite folks

Simple Man Know known as "Coitus Interruptus"

April 27th, 2011
5:42 pm

Damn..I missed 9 pages today..Must have been a spirited afternoon….