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Dating: How much information are you entitled to?

I was talking to my friend about his new relationship when he asked me how he could find out if she had a friends with benefits situation with someone.  We actually had a full on discussion about whether he should ask her outright (absolutely not) or how he could read the “signs” and tell. (For the record, all of his supposed signs were dumb)

I thought it was incredibly sweet (although slightly insane) that he was acting so irrationally about this young lady.   I have never seen him this “concerned” about a woman’s single status.  At the same time, I had to give him a reality check.  Keep this up and you will surely blow it, dude. Relax and let things continue to progress naturally. My guess is, the more he spends time with her, the less he will worry about “other dudes” or competition.

To be honest, I never think you should ask for information that you really don’t want the answer to. What would he do if she said, “Yes, I’m getting served up on a weekly basis when I’m not with you!”  When you are just in the getting to know you stage of dating, you aren’t entitled to every single detail of that person’s life.

Do you ever wonder if the person you are dating is seeing multiple people? Would it bother you if they were?

How much information do you think you are entitled to? What would you do if someone you were seeing asked you if you were pursuing/seeing/sleeping with other people? Would you be offended? Have you ever asked that question on a date?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

428 comments Add your comment

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 27th, 2011
3:47 pm

To see my boy from around the way on Late Night with David Letterman, the tonight show, and Colbert – warms a brother’s heart.

@Dreams – underrated is not nearly strong enough

Willie Dynamite

April 27th, 2011
3:51 pm

If I allow you to enter my house wearing your shoes but tell WillieD he has to remove his…my house, my rules.

Dynamite now walking in raqi house with flip flops and socks on wearing a Fidora with a drank in my hand. Soooo how long before the ol man get off work? j/k j/k please dont get all deep and philosophical on me.

Chink

April 27th, 2011
3:51 pm

I like http://www.naturalizer.com/ pretty stylish but comfy..I hate for my feet to hurt.

SexyCool

April 27th, 2011
3:51 pm

Leggs – Frenchie almost didn’t get a turn around. That song really didn’t showcase her vocal talent. I’m sure the song was a nod to her sexual orientation, but…it almost did her end.

Oh…and the Jersey chick looked great for her age, but her voice was just not strong enough and kinda bland. She didn’t seem to have a lot of range.

DreamsMaterialize

April 27th, 2011
3:52 pm

DreamsMat, and that my dear is the advantage of being the owner of the house. My rules. LOL
Raqi The house analogy sounds good, but it doesn’t quite hold. There are way more restrictions on a business owner than there are on a house owner. Everyday our company has to navigate literally hundreds of laws (federal, state, and county) to ensure that we don’t get sued out of business. If we make an offer to one customer, and they can show that their offer was less favorable than another person’s with similar credentials, then we could easily get rolled into a class action law suit, have auditors come in and look through our books, etc. We are required by law to fairly and consistently administer the products we sell. We don’t get to pick and choose because we are the “owner” and make the “rules”. We would have been forced out of business a long time ago.

Raqi V

April 27th, 2011
3:55 pm

SexyCool, what’s your style?

My friend Deni’s work keeps her moving and on the go and she just recently started trying a brand that I never considered and she has gotten some really cute shoes. I tried on a pair of hers and they are super comfortable and cute.

What’s your style? Don’t mean to rush you but I have to go the store to get some fresh garlic and mushrooms.

SexyCool

April 27th, 2011
3:55 pm

But no grandmama shoes….

Raqi V

April 27th, 2011
3:59 pm

SexyCool, she has this shoe, http://www.aerosoles.com/product1.asp?P=WELLWISHER and it is quite comfortable. But she does order online though.

SexyCool

April 27th, 2011
3:59 pm

Trying to come up with a tv character comparison…..

I’m business casual for the most part, but more emphasis on the business than the casual. I wear a lot of slacks/blazer, skirt blazer combos. Now that it’s getting warm, I will wear more dresses.

And yeah…I like my mushrooms fresh too.

SexyCool

April 27th, 2011
4:00 pm

Leggs

April 27th, 2011
4:00 pm

The woman the cop hit is on ajc.com

DreamsMaterialize

April 27th, 2011
4:00 pm

Dreams – underrated is not nearly strong enough
Dan I agree. Sometimes I miss his flows from the Goodie Mob days, but I understand that dude was just way too talented to be boxed in like that. Of course if he was still only flowin, I wouldn’t have this new ish to be diggin.

SexyCool

April 27th, 2011
4:00 pm

Leggs

April 27th, 2011
4:01 pm

@SexyC ~ I know. That’s why she was so happy when she did get a chair because she knew the song was almost over.

Raqi V

April 27th, 2011
4:02 pm

DreamsMat, I am getting ready to run out so I need you to take this rent-a-cop costume and this flashlight and guard my house while I run to the store. You better not let anyone in and if they ask why tell them “just because”. LOL

You all have a wonderful evening. I hope you all make it home before those storms come thru.

Leggs

April 27th, 2011
4:03 pm

@SexyC ~ it probably went against her that she sang a throwback Dionne Warwick song (lol).

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 27th, 2011
4:07 pm

He said on Chelsea Lately (the only time I’ve seen that show – horribull), that he was doing a new Goodie Mob album, then another Gnarls Joint.

But Rico ‘nem knew he was good. The original Outkast was supposed to be Ceelo, Dre and Big Boi; changed it at the last minute.

SexyCool

April 27th, 2011
4:10 pm

Leggs – I thought she sang “I Kissed a Girl.”

SexyCool

April 27th, 2011
4:13 pm

Hidden home ownership costs – have two trees in front of my house that I want cut down. Just found out that I have to pay $230 for a permit from the City.

I will now commence with some Yosemite Sam type cursing…..”Rackum. Mackum, Smackum. Filth. Flam. Flarth.”

Leggs

April 27th, 2011
4:14 pm

I’m talking about the lady from NJ. I thought she sang “I Say A Little Prayer??”

Purple Rain

April 27th, 2011
4:14 pm

What happened to the Hawks? And what times does the NFL Draft start tomorrow?

Donald Trump is really a tool.

SexyCool

April 27th, 2011
4:16 pm

OH…lol…I thought we were still on Frenchie. You’re right. Jersy Lady did sing an *old* song

Leggs

April 27th, 2011
4:19 pm

Dang, I forgot Frenchie sang that song…that’s a weak song for her to sing! Boy, she came close to blowing her 5th chance at stardom.

Sassy Me :-)

April 27th, 2011
4:19 pm

The woman the cop hit is on ajc.com

Oh the isht is really about to hit the fan now….the more press/publicity this story gets the darker the shadow cat over APD…not that they care,though..

Sassy Me :-)

April 27th, 2011
4:19 pm

should’ve been *cast*…

Leggs

April 27th, 2011
4:23 pm

Off topic: A school teacher who may have been upset about losing his job was arrested after he disrobed at his school (Clayton County) and walked around naked.

Dang, people are losing their minds left and right.

Leggs

April 27th, 2011
4:24 pm

An elementary school at that!

DreamsMaterialize

April 27th, 2011
4:25 pm

DreamsMat, I am getting ready to run out so I need you to take this rent-a-cop costume and this flashlight and guard my house while I run to the store.
Raqi I used to be a security guard for Allied Barton. I hope you pay more than they did. lol Should I use the same rules they had? They always told us “you’re NOT the cops, you CALL the cops.” lol

Just found out that I have to pay $230 for a permit from the City.
SexyC Plus the cost to actually get someone to cut them down. Are they big trees? Then again you seem to have an extensive network of people who know how to do things. So, you might already got the low low price on cutting them down. lol

Purple Rain

April 27th, 2011
4:27 pm

I remember when reading there of a kids family trying to sue the APD because an off duty officer shot a kid at an apartment group where he was during security. The judgement was that APD was not liable because the guy was working a second job and not on police duty, he even had his uniform on..but yet the guy was still liable for shooting the unarmed kid So I would imagine IHOP would have to pay for this one instead of APD or they will just pass the buck to the officer in this case too.

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 27th, 2011
4:29 pm

@SC

Didn’t you forget a 6 pack and saw around those whino’s (wink, wink)?

Sassy Me :-)

April 27th, 2011
4:29 pm

Thankfully all of the children were gone…this fool was talking about still wanting to teach,especially now that his third eye had been opened.. He said that to the officer arresting him..idiot

Leggs

April 27th, 2011
4:33 pm

The teacher may rest his case on the Taco Defense. Much like the Twinkie Defense one used in a murder. The kids had already left the school.

Purple Rain

April 27th, 2011
4:33 pm

Third eye? Was he talking about his one-eyed snake? hahaha

Leggs

April 27th, 2011
4:33 pm

Leggs

April 27th, 2011
4:35 pm

That’s how the police officer took it, PR!

Celisea

April 27th, 2011
4:35 pm

Thankfully all of the children were gone…this fool was talking about still wanting to teach,especially now that his third eye had been opened.. He said that to the officer arresting him..idiot

Oh my….Lord help us

Purple Rain

April 27th, 2011
4:35 pm

Good evening all, family time!

Sassy Me :-)

April 27th, 2011
4:37 pm

For real Leggs….he said that to the officer and the officer replied in kind that he can’t have his third eye exposed to the public. Sounds like he may’ve been on the cusp of some kind of mental breakdown….that plus the fact that he’d just found out that his contract wouldn’t be renewed for the next school year.

SexyCool

April 27th, 2011
4:38 pm

Yeah…Dreams…my uncle is a landscaper. (lol)…but I’m just saying….

Dan…I am really not trying to get hit with a fine that could possibly end up being more than the permits. But…I *do* live in da hood (kinda) and I’m sure that enforcement is not so strict in my area…so….you know I’m thinking about it….

Leggs

April 27th, 2011
4:39 pm

“He said he still wanted to teach, but “on a new level, with hands in the earth, gathering the essence and learning how to love one another and fully appreciate the spiritual realm.” ”

Yeah, he may have been on the cusp of a mental breakdown!

Mike P

April 27th, 2011
4:47 pm

Kimmie– This is what usually happens when I decide to pursue a woman who I already have a friendly/flirty report with but I’ll soon discover she’s not on the level:

Mike: It’s been really nice talking to you, Princess. Can I call you sometime?
Princess: Sure, I’d love that. So are you seeing anyone?
Mike: Nope, I’m single and available. And what about you?
Princess: No, not really.
Mike: huh? What do you mea…
Princess: No one serious.
Mike: Oh okay, haha no one serious, I get what you’re saying.
Princess: Yeah, I’ve got friends, everyone do, you know…

I few days goes by…

Princess Text-ed the following: Hey what’s up? haven’t back from you
Mike text back: Yeah, I’ve been busy!

SexyCool

April 27th, 2011
4:51 pm

MikeP – what if her response was, “I go out on the occasional date or two every now and then, but I’m not in a relationship or serious with anybody.”

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 27th, 2011
4:51 pm

“The original Outkast was supposed to be Ceelo, Dre and Big Boi; changed it at the last minute.”

Wow, that would have been quite a trio… wonder what kept Cee-Lo away?

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 27th, 2011
4:51 pm

Did I see Me.lo sneak in here earlier?

Sassy Me :-)

April 27th, 2011
4:52 pm

Read y’all tomorrow…I really don’t feel like going to the gym…I reallllly don’t…

Leggs

April 27th, 2011
4:53 pm

You sure did, Swiss! You’re a great campaign mgr.

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 27th, 2011
4:58 pm

Me.lo — You still lurking, bro? How goes it?

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 27th, 2011
4:59 pm

Okay, can I not say “hot and wet mangrove swamp” anymore?

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 27th, 2011
4:59 pm

Interesting…

So can I not say “Come out of the”

The Reanimated Corpse of Swiss (now with titanium-infused bionic w@ng)

April 27th, 2011
5:00 pm

Ah, so I guess “lurk-ers-ville” is out of bounds?