Dating: How much information are you entitled to?
I was talking to my friend about his new relationship when he asked me how he could find out if she had a friends with benefits situation with someone. We actually had a full on discussion about whether he should ask her outright (absolutely not) or how he could read the “signs” and tell. (For the record, all of his supposed signs were dumb)
I thought it was incredibly sweet (although slightly insane) that he was acting so irrationally about this young lady. I have never seen him this “concerned” about a woman’s single status. At the same time, I had to give him a reality check. Keep this up and you will surely blow it, dude. Relax and let things continue to progress naturally. My guess is, the more he spends time with her, the less he will worry about “other dudes” or competition.
To be honest, I never think you should ask for information that you really don’t want the answer to. What would he do if she said, “Yes, I’m getting served up on a weekly basis when I’m not with you!” When you are just in the getting to know you stage of dating, you aren’t entitled to every single detail of that person’s life.
Do you ever wonder if the person you are dating is seeing multiple people? Would it bother you if they were?
How much information do you think you are entitled to? What would you do if someone you were seeing asked you if you were pursuing/seeing/sleeping with other people? Would you be offended? Have you ever asked that question on a date?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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428 comments Add your comment
Purple Rain
April 27th, 2011
3:12 pm
Willie D, stop bro I am having fun. LOL But doesn’t a cop give you a ticket for traffic offenses or a list of charges when you are arrested. LOL
Raqi V
April 27th, 2011
3:12 pm
WillieD, I have tried twice to agree with you put the blogmaster will not allow it. LOL
SexyCool
April 27th, 2011
3:12 pm
I don’t know too many people who get fired without at least having a clue as to why without anybody telling them.
Raqi V
April 27th, 2011
3:13 pm
While let me just say you “fun” is coming off as ignorance.
Purple Rain
April 27th, 2011
3:13 pm
Commonsense would tell you that there is only one representative of leadership on here and there is no access to the others.
Raqi V
April 27th, 2011
3:14 pm
SexyCool, or already knowing. Most places are required to give you a few warnings.
kimmie
April 27th, 2011
3:14 pm
I don’t know too many people who get fired without at least having a clue as to why without anybody telling them.
SCool – They are in denial, with themselves. But they know!
Purple Rain
April 27th, 2011
3:15 pm
You or your? The typo kind of made your 3:13 lose the intended effect of mentioning ignorance.
Willie Dynamite
April 27th, 2011
3:16 pm
ok I’ll ask a different ?. Was anyone surprised that Zulu got banned?
Purple Rain
April 27th, 2011
3:17 pm
But hey, all is well because ” he wasn’t banned” LOL
Celisea
April 27th, 2011
3:17 pm
Dan – but walking around with a pad around your neck like a Roc-a-fella chain is a little too far.
Go back and re-read oh intelligent one. I said as I opened the drawer (that holds my purse), I was pulling out a pad when he approached. He was the one at a loss for worse upon said pad exiting purse. That’s nowhere near dangling from my neck.
Back from Diva imposed Exile
April 27th, 2011
3:18 pm
EXILED? Me..
Kimmie..from that exchange, i take it she has some rotation(s),so the moment we are on date two and she is kissing me or talking about feeling me,im pressing her on the “serious” codes she dropped and telling her to clean house,never mind “exclusive” has not come in the vocab. Othwerwise if she’s hesitant, i put her on rotation 897! lol
Purple Rain
April 27th, 2011
3:18 pm
Willie D, my answer to that is “No” .
Raqi V
April 27th, 2011
3:18 pm
Kimmie, yep. And when the “supervisor” warn you of you offending actions your nose at them for delivering a message they as an employee also has been instructed to give.
Raqi V
April 27th, 2011
3:19 pm
Surprised is not the word I care to use. LOL
SexyCool
April 27th, 2011
3:20 pm
This whole IHOP issue is an example of why I don’t really agree with municipalities allowing off duty officers to work security jobs IN UNIFORM.
The actions that the officer took were not those of a policer ON DUTY enforcing the law. They were the actions of an employee of a business. However, because of his uniform, he is immediately seen as a police officer and the chick has now gotten punched out by a City of Atlanta police officer instead of an IHOP employee.
Purple Rain
April 27th, 2011
3:20 pm
Celisea, it caught him off guard at the desk, no clue about him outside of the bathroom though. That was strange.
Willie Dynamite
April 27th, 2011
3:21 pm
Zulu – banishment and exiles (Exiled like you Baby Doc or somebody) aside how was your trip abroad. Did you go Solo or with members or your immediate family? Any stories you care to share?
Back from Diva imposed Exile
April 27th, 2011
3:21 pm
I am not surprised, not sure who wld be…
but im offended that i got baned! lol
Celisea
April 27th, 2011
3:22 pm
MMEELLOO, we’re going to have to make arrangements for me to get my CDs. Can you drop in the mail?
Back from Diva imposed Exile
April 27th, 2011
3:24 pm
WD…home is alwzys best,they say….i had a hard time downloading..but thats another long story
Purple Rain
April 27th, 2011
3:25 pm
Sexy Cool, is APD responsible or IHOP or both? Do cops have to have a permit to work a second job or can they work where they want? That is a sticky situation, can an off duty cop make an arrest if he see’s a crime? I guess the cops would need to identify themselves if they are out of uniform.
Raqi V
April 27th, 2011
3:25 pm
SexyCool, be it employee or officer that dude was just throwing his weight around and overused his power of authority. From what I heard on the news she just placed her hand on his shoulder and he hit her.
Has there been a video yet that showed what transpired to make him even go over to her? The video I saw starts when she touched him then he hits her.
DreamsMaterialize
April 27th, 2011
3:27 pm
Whatever, the moderators are biased anyway. What they ban on this blog, they allow (probably support and encourage) ten times worse on other ajc blogs. Those same people we call “trolls” on here also post on some of the other blogs, and they fit right in. No banishment there.
Dan - Simply....Superior
April 27th, 2011
3:28 pm
Because I deplore the use of that acronym, though am tired of being misconstrued, I will end all future exaggerations/jokes with “haha”.
I thought the Roc-a-fella chain was enough to show that I was joking, dag
kimmie
April 27th, 2011
3:29 pm
Dreams – Yeah, especially on the political blogs. It is sick some of the comments that are allowed.
Raqi V
April 27th, 2011
3:29 pm
What they ban on this blog, they allow…ten times worse on other ajc
DreamsMat, have you ever heard the saying “When in my house you play by my rules?” or else be-gone-my-friend. It is what it is.
Purple Rain
April 27th, 2011
3:31 pm
Dreams you actually got a warning email before right?
Celisea
April 27th, 2011
3:32 pm
Dan – though am tired of being misconstrued, I will end all future exaggerations/jokes with “haha”.
Dan a simply smiley face or “lol” might take the edge off
abc
April 27th, 2011
3:32 pm
Abc, please tell me you don’t actually ask a woman how many men she’s been with.
No, but if I did, I’d expect to not be told the truth, so why bother? I can think of one chick that ever told me the truth, and I only asked her because she asked me first; and our numbers were about the same, so whatever. I was pretty active when a very young man. By the time I was 25 or so I figured out that getting laid was too easy, and didn’t mean much to me if all I was doing was booty call. The numbers didn’t clock up anywhere near as fast after that. Just the same, it’s pretty high; if I asked a chick and then she asked me, I’d rather not talk about it so much myself. ‘Course, I’d just give a straight answer. Straight answers to straight questions.
Celisea
April 27th, 2011
3:32 pm
Yes, I get that that’s what you’re saying but I still wanted to say that anyway
Raqi V
April 27th, 2011
3:33 pm
And actually the acceptance of repeat offenses is not an argument worth me wanting to fit for.
Now if they banned Asians from the blog then I would be the first to say that’s not fair. Or if they banned the access from mobile devices I would say let’s protest. But fighting so that the allowing of severely breaking the rules can be accepted…naaah that’s not a battle I care to fight.
DreamsMaterialize
April 27th, 2011
3:33 pm
DreamsMat, have you ever heard the saying “When in my house you play by my rules?” or else be-gone-my-friend. It is what it is.
Raqi Except that the “rules” are that there are no rules except when selectively applied. If you want to tout your rules, then also tout your consistency in the implementation. Otherwise, they’re not rules at all.
Willie Dynamite
April 27th, 2011
3:35 pm
Dreams – agreed, it is literally a free for all on the other blogs. But dare i say IMO opinion its allowed because usually its of a racist tone. From my viewpoint it is much more allowed to be racist/prejudiced than to have open sexual talk so to speak. With that being said in the word of the great CeeLo Green from the mighty Goodie Mob. ‘These (FOLKS) dont owe you no explanation’
Back from Diva imposed Exile
April 27th, 2011
3:36 pm
post ur add Cee..
DreamsMaterialize
April 27th, 2011
3:37 pm
Dreams you actually got a warning email before right?
Purp Yeah, and my posts are pretty mild by most people’s standards.
Now if they banned Asians from the blog then I would be the first to say that’s not fair.
Raqi Even if they were murder-prone muslims? lol Sorry I couldn’t resist.
Willie Dynamite
April 27th, 2011
3:38 pm
hahaha good one
DreamsMaterialize
April 27th, 2011
3:39 pm
From my viewpoint it is much more allowed to be racist/prejudiced than to have open sexual talk so to speak.
WillieD You’re 100% on. That’s actually what the moderator told me when I brought up that very point. She said that they encourage free expression and opinion, but they draw the line at vulgarity. Apparently, there’s nothing vulgar about racism. lol
Leggs
April 27th, 2011
3:40 pm
Deplore is a strong word to use for the meek LOL (LOL).
SexyCool
April 27th, 2011
3:40 pm
Speaking of Cee-Lo – I totally enjoyed that new show, The Voice, last night. And I don’t know how Javier Colon has gone virtually unnoticed for so long, but I bought his two albums on Amazon.com last night before the show was over.
Raqi V
April 27th, 2011
3:41 pm
DreamsMat, and that my dear is the advantage of being the owner of the house. My rules. LOL
If I allow you to enter my house wearing your shoes but tell WillieD he has to remove his…my house, my rules.
Chink
April 27th, 2011
3:41 pm
If you want to tout your rules, then also tout your consistency in the implementation
I likey…
Raqi V
April 27th, 2011
3:42 pm
Even if they were murder-prone muslims?
Yep, even if. LOL
DreamsMaterialize
April 27th, 2011
3:42 pm
Speaking of Cee-Lo – I totally enjoyed that new show, The Voice
SexyC Yeah Cee-lo’s the man. I like the musical progression he’s made. I still think he’s way underrated though, well at least in the states.
Dan - Simply....Superior
April 27th, 2011
3:43 pm
Or free about sexual expression.
Solution, racist words to replace the “dirty ones”
C0ck = peckerwood (as I know my fairer skinned friends would get the joke)
Purple Rain
April 27th, 2011
3:44 pm
So since there are different standards on different blogs on this site, who sets the standards of rules for this “house”? Wouldn’t that person have knowledge and power to ban those who break them? I doubt each blog has one boss, but they do have supervisors who moderate them. What does moderate mean again?
Raqi V
April 27th, 2011
3:46 pm
LMBO
I just almost IHOP-copped my daughter. She just walked up and stuck me with a push pin. It must have fallen on the floor when I was tacking up my grocery list.
SexyCool
April 27th, 2011
3:47 pm
Ladies – I need recommendations for a shoe brand and/or store. Since my new spot is about a quarter of a mile from the MARTA station, I walk to the station to take the train into work every day now.
I need transition my work shoe wardrobe from mostly higher heels to a lower, more comfortable height that I can walk to the station, remain professional, stylish and fashionable (not at all worried about sexy – I will save sexy for TheDude – lol.)
I have some Enzo’s, some Aigner’s and some Liz Claiborne’s, but trying to find similar shoes, in town, is proving difficult. I prefer not to shoe shop online, but…..
What do you suggest?
Leggs
April 27th, 2011
3:47 pm
@SexyC ~ I thought The Voice to be an excellent show. Very good singers. Frenchie was delighted when a Christina’s chair turned around. All she needed was one chair. The elation showed all over her face. Felt a little sorry for the 56 year old woman from NJ. No chairs…went home kicking rocks.
SexyCool
April 27th, 2011
3:47 pm
Dreams – IMO, Adam has the best team so far.