Dating: How much information are you entitled to?
I was talking to my friend about his new relationship when he asked me how he could find out if she had a friends with benefits situation with someone. We actually had a full on discussion about whether he should ask her outright (absolutely not) or how he could read the “signs” and tell. (For the record, all of his supposed signs were dumb)
I thought it was incredibly sweet (although slightly insane) that he was acting so irrationally about this young lady. I have never seen him this “concerned” about a woman’s single status. At the same time, I had to give him a reality check. Keep this up and you will surely blow it, dude. Relax and let things continue to progress naturally. My guess is, the more he spends time with her, the less he will worry about “other dudes” or competition.
To be honest, I never think you should ask for information that you really don’t want the answer to. What would he do if she said, “Yes, I’m getting served up on a weekly basis when I’m not with you!” When you are just in the getting to know you stage of dating, you aren’t entitled to every single detail of that person’s life.
Do you ever wonder if the person you are dating is seeing multiple people? Would it bother you if they were?
How much information do you think you are entitled to? What would you do if someone you were seeing asked you if you were pursuing/seeing/sleeping with other people? Would you be offended? Have you ever asked that question on a date?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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428 comments Add your comment
Purple Rain
April 27th, 2011
2:34 pm
Dreams, I agree something had to happen because we can not type his name, ever. BUt you know how women do, something happens that they know they did and they will deny deny deny and that is still not considered a lie. LOL
SexyCool
April 27th, 2011
2:34 pm
Diva is not the only one who moderates this blog. She may be the only moderator commenting, but she is not the only one watching it.
kimmie
April 27th, 2011
2:34 pm
Dreams – Plus no, I don’t buy these dudes are as pure as the driven snow!
DreamsMaterialize
April 27th, 2011
2:34 pm
but then again, with some folks, you could be. (lol)
SexyC True because I know a white woman named Laquetta. lol
Raqi V
April 27th, 2011
2:36 pm
That’s what I kind of thought too. The blog has an AJC regulated filter that is probably out of Wise’s control.
Dan - Simply....Superior
April 27th, 2011
2:37 pm
@Cel
Not offended, but the suffrage movement and Women’s Lib says that you’re an equal; by all rights and priviledges there in: if he’s to accept unequivically your physical needs as a woman, then you should accept his equally.
POooooot
Back from Diva imposed Exile
April 27th, 2011
2:37 pm
Hey Dan…
but on topic..dont u guys and girls ask this elementary question when u first meet somebody,”are u seeing someone?”..If the answer is “NO’,then its safe for me to assume,she aint FWBenefiting anybody.
If she she says Yes,then assume she may be feeling u but proly eaglespreading for another tho..
Fair?
Purple Rain
April 27th, 2011
2:37 pm
Sexy Cool, I just know without a doubt if I used “Shaniqua or She Nay Nay” on here referencing a woman. implying she was black, I would be slammed hard. So I was just wondering. LOL
kimmie
April 27th, 2011
2:37 pm
Anyone remember that episode of Martin, when Tommy kept talking about this woman he was dating named Aquanetta? Everyone was surprised when she turned out to be Swiss!! LOL!!
Leggs
April 27th, 2011
2:38 pm
“….sniffing the air as you opened the door.” He probably back doors it so he likes the smell of crap! (I know, I know, just nasty)!
SexyCool
April 27th, 2011
2:38 pm
From the article about the IHOP incident – “Her friend, Roberta Caban, said the officer never identified himself before the scrum.”
Yeah…no…the police uniform was not a clue.
Lord Velonese
April 27th, 2011
2:39 pm
P.S I really like to mess Christian women because they think because of their “Christian label” they are exempt from a lot of things, as a fellow Christian I’d like to point out how much BS is in that, same can go for men.
Leggs
April 27th, 2011
2:39 pm
I was about to type that, SexyC! She doesn’t have governing power over the blog.
Back from Diva imposed Exile
April 27th, 2011
2:40 pm
Dreams/ Swizz..thanks for ur efforts in keeping zulu alive
SexyCool
April 27th, 2011
2:41 pm
Oh…and Sassy…looking at the picture that is on the front page of ajc.com…she looks like she could be bi-racial.
DreamsMaterialize
April 27th, 2011
2:41 pm
And pulling from memories of past blog discussions over the years.
kimmie Hey hey hey, I thought you all said the past was the past. lol
Diva is not the only one who moderates this blog. She may be the only moderator commenting, but she is not the only one watching it.
SexyC That’s like going with someone to break into a person’s house and then saying, “but I didn’t actually take anything, my partner did!”
Purple Rain
April 27th, 2011
2:43 pm
See how the ladies are covering for each other. Be leary it is almost Thursday I think they are setting up for another onslaught.
Leggs
April 27th, 2011
2:43 pm
Yeah…no…the police uniform was not a clue.
FUNNY!
SexyCool
April 27th, 2011
2:43 pm
Actually, Dreams, it’s more like, “My husband says you aren’t welcome in OUR house. So, you can’t come over.”
Purple Rain
April 27th, 2011
2:44 pm
Leggs, no I didn’t like your crap after I back doored you. ( I know I know even nastier) LOL
Purple Rain
April 27th, 2011
2:46 pm
Did the officer hit her first or did she hit him first or who initiated physical contact first? The cop is definitely wrong in the situation, especially if he hit her first. If she hit him first the cop is still worng but she will still get an assualt charge in the least, because just because a person is not a cop does not mean you are free to hit them. I am not a lawyer but I do watch Law & Order, besides who wouldn’t want to punch a cop who was a little to big for his britches?
Raqi V
April 27th, 2011
2:47 pm
No DreamsMat, it’s like blaming your supervisor that delivered the message when the Asst. Vice President is the one that actually fired you.
I would imagine the job of a moderator on a relationship blog is quite low on the scale of importance for AJC however maintaining a certain level of decency is at the very top. While they obviously welcome all participants, repeat offenders will eventually get dealt with.
kimmie
April 27th, 2011
2:48 pm
Exiled – What is your opinion about the below exchange:
Exiled: It’s been nice talking to you, Princess. Can I call you sometime?
Princess: Sure, I’d love that. So are you seeing anyone?
Exiled: No one serious. You?
Princess: No one serious either.
Now from that little exchange, what would you do? Do you ask further “what do you mean, no one serious?” That could mean you’ve got a rotation, a few FWB’s, just a few you hang out with, dating someone just to pass the time but looking for someone better, etc.
SexyCool
April 27th, 2011
2:49 pm
She first tried to push the officer off of the female who was with her. Then he slapped her and she started hitting him……..that’s when he came from down south on her.
kimmie
April 27th, 2011
2:50 pm
I thought you all said the past was the past. lol
Dreams – Not me! I remember!
Raqi V
April 27th, 2011
2:50 pm
SexyCool, or like my husband telling me if one of my friends can’t come over without keeping up and starting a whole bushel of drama he stops that friend at the door.
Raqi V
April 27th, 2011
2:50 pm
Or tell her she is no longer invited.
Leggs
April 27th, 2011
2:50 pm
@PR ~ then why ya hanging around bathrooms sniffing the air? Apparently, you’ve become accustomed to some type of scent (LOL).
Purple Rain
April 27th, 2011
2:51 pm
Raqi, in your situation would not the supervisor know WHY the Asst Vice President was firing the person. Or were they just truley just walking in and saying “hey, you are fired..I don’t know what happened or why” and then just walking away?
Willie Dynamite
April 27th, 2011
2:51 pm
Kimmie – exactly
Purple Rain
April 27th, 2011
2:53 pm
Leggs, because I thought she was on her cycle. (how gross do you want to go?) LOL
SexyCool
April 27th, 2011
2:54 pm
Even better analogy, Rock.
Celisea
April 27th, 2011
2:55 pm
I didn’t post that to go left with the nasty…lol I was truly floored at his expression and the loss of words upon seeing a pad. Surely he’s aware of the a woman having a cycle and how all that plays into reproducing or not and the whole of it’s purpose….surely he knows that
Purple Rain
April 27th, 2011
2:55 pm
Well, APD must suck at training their cops or one just slipped through the cracks.
SlimNumeroUno
April 27th, 2011
2:56 pm
Howdy, howdy, howdy
Celisea
April 27th, 2011
2:58 pm
I think he’s a creep and probably a woman beater because of how reacted and pounced on that woman. Throwing blows like she was a man. It just “popped” off…no hesitency at all.
Raqi V
April 27th, 2011
2:59 pm
PurpleR, who said the supervisor doesn’t know why you got canned? What difference does that make? The point is while the super may stand over you while you work the AVP is the one that has the power to put you out should you refuse to obey the rules.
Purple Rain
April 27th, 2011
2:59 pm
Hey Slim
kimmie
April 27th, 2011
3:00 pm
Exiled – Again to your 2;37 – These days it’s really not enough to ask someone if they are seeing someone. You need to straight up ask them if they are married too!
Dan - Simply....Superior
April 27th, 2011
3:01 pm
@Cel
My point is, whether or not something is common, doesn’t mean it’s commonly shared.
Of course women have periods, even gheys know this, but walking around with a pad around your neck like a Roc-a-fella chain is a little too far.
Raqi V
April 27th, 2011
3:02 pm
And PurpleR, the supervisor is not obligated to you but to the one that he answers to. So if the AVP did the firing himself, which seems to be what happened, the supervisor even if aware of why does not owe you an explanation.
DreamsMaterialize
April 27th, 2011
3:02 pm
Actually, Dreams, it’s more like, “My husband says you aren’t welcome in OUR house. So, you can’t come over.”
SexyC Further illustrates my point. Your husband saying it is the same as you saying it. Most times you’re probably saying your husband said it as a way of you not having to be the one who said it. lol
Purple Rain
April 27th, 2011
3:03 pm
It matters because Wise is our “rep/face of the blog” so when asked what happened and the response was “I did not ban or block him” and the fact is that he was banned or atleast name blocked a better answer should be given or some research done. But I guess “wasn’t me” is sufficient. That is just my opinion.
Leggs
April 27th, 2011
3:06 pm
@PR ~ UUUGGGGHHH!!!
@Celisea ~ I know you didn’t. Was only commenting on him sniffing the air and wondering WHY?
Raqi V
April 27th, 2011
3:06 pm
PurpleR, you are wrong. When you work for someone you do as you are told when it comes to their business. She never stated she does not know why he got banned but the fact is she did not do it , she stated that and she owes him nor anyone else an explanation.
Purple Rain
April 27th, 2011
3:06 pm
Okay Dan, LOL
Leggs
April 27th, 2011
3:08 pm
@Dan ~ what in the heck made you post that???
Willie Dynamite
April 27th, 2011
3:08 pm
I’ll jump in and ask a simple question. Not to take a jab at Zulu but honestly does it matter who actually banned him? I mean whose faut is it you ran that stop sign 100 times and on the 101st time agot a ticket? Then you blame the cop. Really?
Purple Rain
April 27th, 2011
3:10 pm
Raqi, you think like a woman and I am right! Anyone getting fired has a right to know why they get fired even in a right to work state
Raqi V
April 27th, 2011
3:12 pm
Then they need to go ask the one that fired them. Period.
Now that’s thinking like someone with commonsense.