Most underrated singles: Do you overlook them?
Essence.com featured a list of the most underrated “types” that seem to get overlooked in dating. There was a list for men and women, which seemed to outline the many perfectly dateable individuals that get a bad wrap in dating. From the Mamma’s boy to the corporate/career woman, the underrated types actually read more like …normal people. You know, humans with imperfections?
I can’t honestly say that I haven’t overlooked men who are considered underrated. However, I am not all that convinced they would have been interested or a good match for me anyway. I think some single people are drawn to a certain “popular” type but is that who we should end up dating?
If we are all trying to date “the type”who are supposedly in high demand, who do you think is getting ignored? Would you consider yourself the type that is underrated? If so, does it bother you? What (if anything) would you do differently to stand out?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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436 comments Add your comment
missy
April 26th, 2011
10:39 am
@MC Hammock – you forgot teeth – have to have all of your teeth and they must be white – not yellow, brown, broken or missing.
Dan - Simply....Superior
April 26th, 2011
10:39 am
Yeah, those were…interesting to say the least.
It’s funny though, through all the types (dot,dot,dot) the constant message was:
“get out of your own way/preconceived notions”
Who knew?
SexyCool
April 26th, 2011
10:40 am
Just this morning, I was noticing that there are a shtload of short chicks running around. Now, I have to say, SOME of them are almost as wide as they are tall, but they are out there, short guy.
The question is…are you not seeing them because they are not a size zero?
Celisea
April 26th, 2011
10:41 am
But in recent times, I am considering the introverted guys and the guys with man boobs
LOLOL…I had to come out of lurking on this one
Morris
April 26th, 2011
10:41 am
Neo…speaks the truth again..its my point exactly. We are ALL tired. So what!? You ignore your spouse? That is always a recipe for disaster.
Simple Man Know known as "Coitus Interruptus"
April 26th, 2011
10:44 am
Short Stuff…Don’t laugh,but I got a bit of advise for you…Either find you a fresh out of college chick that you can train to accept your height, or find you an older lady that is nearly burnt out on the game and is ready to accept the fact the you have to buy pants in the boys department at Kohls….
lay in low
April 26th, 2011
10:45 am
@ared..glad you said it…because i was thinking the same thing..lol
Sounds like he’s leading with that.
kimmie
April 26th, 2011
10:48 am
Simple Man –
I love it, gotta laugh!!!
Dan - Simply....Superior
April 26th, 2011
10:49 am
@Short guy
Stay up (no pun intended).
Do you.
Be you.
And the woman that she’s that, knows what it means, and wants it in her life will find you.
Shallow is what you step in, depth is [your] perception.
AmazonRed™
April 26th, 2011
10:50 am
my brother in law is one of the most down to earth guys out there. Not flashy
Morris – I don’t doubt that at all…but don’t YOU think it’s a little odd that it’s the ONLY type of woman he tends to meet?
There are soooo many down to earth, non flashy women in Atlanta. I know personally for me, a man who buys me things make me EXTREMELY uncomfortable. But I can always tell the type that is willing because he will give me (subtle) signs that he wants me to be impressed.
DJ Sniper
April 26th, 2011
10:51 am
ShortGuy, don’t let the height thing get you down. One of my college buddies is 5′6″ and he never had any problems getting women. His confidence was always pretty high. He ended up married to a real good woman.
kimmie
April 26th, 2011
10:53 am
Amred – You are holding it down in here today lady! I am tripping because these dudes are so quick to blame women. The common denominator in all this is the dude! Upgrade yourself and your selection process before you down all women!
Purple Rain
April 26th, 2011
10:54 am
I look over everyone I need to look over. Healthy is the major physical quality I look at. Mentally sane, has lived some life and has come from a strong involved family. I don’t not like the extra big butts and huge boobies. When I date a woman I think long term and why invest in something I know will eventually sag at some point….more than the women who are equipped with the smaller ones. Ambition is very important to me as well, I overlook those who have none or are fearful of stepping out of their comfort zones.
Heat Guy J
April 26th, 2011
10:55 am
This is a timely blog, since some people can finally afford to date again. Most on-point comment was about women with “garbage” attitudes. I got tired of them, no matter how gorgeous, and lately I’ve dating a wider variety of women. Very satisfying so far. Hang in there, overlooked ladies: some guys wake up and realize how stupid and arbitrary their (and the media’s) standards are.
czBrat
April 26th, 2011
10:55 am
no excuse machine here. just saying that i’ve worked desk jobs as well as b2b sales, and i can say that the mental exhaustion of selling was a drain on me. i wasn’t in a serious relationship at that time, so no excuses needed. although i do recall not spending as much time with my kids as i normally would. anywho, also keep in mind that the many things a man can juggle and still have more than enough energy for a romp, most women are not quite that virile.
there’s a price we pay for trying to do it all. i think in some ways, everyone in the household pays a bit of that price. but of course, that’s just my opinion.
thanx for the reprint SC. i can’t get to the article.
Atlanta= land of the free, home of the thirsty
April 26th, 2011
10:55 am
“I feel bad for guys who do have alot going for themselves. Seems today there are to many gold diggers and not enough every day diamonds to choose from.”
That’s a lie.
Sassy Me :-)
April 26th, 2011
10:56 am
Upgrade yourself and your selection process before you down all women!
Worth repeating…
Morris
April 26th, 2011
10:56 am
There are soooo many down to earth, non flashy women in Atlanta…
AmazonRED..
That’s the type he has dated. However, he says..”its like a fake out. They appear one way then morph into something eles”
But hey maybe it is a signal he is sending. I will have to ask him about that… He’s always asking me for advice…haha! I’ve been out of the game too long to give him correct answers I guess.
I’ve been married to his sister for 11yrs..
Morris
April 26th, 2011
10:58 am
Atlanta= land of the free, home of the thirsty
….Well from the single guys that I know…thats all I hear.
Purple Rain
April 26th, 2011
11:01 am
What’s going on with all of these moist men making excuses? Just go get you a good woman, yes it’s that simple. Throw the bad ones back and keep the good one. Awww, don’t get your poor feelings hurt just go get a woman and enjoy the road to finding her. If you lead with your money, heart, wang then that’s your fault.
lay in low
April 26th, 2011
11:02 am
DUDES..when she not perform she is BORRRRRRRRED…she is tired of the routine..she is not a gerbil..GET out of the routine..take a trip..get a hobby togetherr…or you are boring become interesting again
AmazonRed™
April 26th, 2011
11:02 am
That’s the type he has dated. However, he says..”its like a fake out. They appear one way then morph into something eles”
Morris – All I’m saying is that there HAS to be more there than what he is telling you. Because ALL of those women turn out like that? ALL of em? As a woman, I just can’t see how it is all on us. Especially since I know there are women who arent about it.
BUT, I do think it’s good he finds this out before he gets married. He’d be bled dry! I’m glad he’s also looking to you for advice.
Celisea
April 26th, 2011
11:02 am
Okay I’m not feeling this topic. “Overlooked” or the thought thereof reeks of desperation….but that’s just me. I’m not sure of what I consider “overlooked.” Any person I gave a pass on was a choice…. for whatever reason. I will not go back and re-examine to see if I missed out on a good one…lol It may be a bit pretention but whether it was due to looks, character, baggage, I have to decide what’s not good for me and stick to it. Nope, didn’t overlook a thing. I hope I don’t offend because I’m not aiming at any particular person but these polls and discussion and articles and shows and colummns and lists makes me feel like, honestly folks just need to up the ante on standards. Seriously, I’m not doing, dating loving, liking someone not suited for me or I just didn’t like or wasn’t feeling…point blank.
Blackfoote
April 26th, 2011
11:04 am
LOL……@Kimmie
I had too.
kimmie
April 26th, 2011
11:05 am
Purple – It’s a real whine-fest in here today!
How’s the wee one and his mommy? Do you hold him alot? I love holding babies!
SexyCool
April 26th, 2011
11:07 am
Morris – is this guy the kind of man that thinks that a woman shouldn’t ask him for anything? Ever? Because quite frankly, most men that I know have no problem showing up financially when they are into a female.
So, either he has been dealing with chicks that he had no real feelings for….or…he believes that his money should not enter into a relationship at all. Cause some folks IS paranoid about the little bit of change they have stuck under the mattress or buried in the backyard.
Simple Man Know known as "Coitus Interruptus"
April 26th, 2011
11:07 am
kimmie, get you a 5′5″ guy and you can pracitice holding a baby every day!!
Raqi V
April 26th, 2011
11:08 am
There is somebody for everybody. The key is to look for and be willing to get with the one that is looking for and willing to get with you.
Those “most desirable” that society has painted as such are very much the ones that have no interest in being in meaningful long lasting relationships. And they pretty much have not much to offer to a relationship nor are willing or wanting to.
That’s all I have say on the subject. LOL
AmazonR, I offered you my .02 of advice yesterday, now I need yours. Can you help me out?
Dan - Simply....Superior
April 26th, 2011
11:09 am
@PR
It ain’t.
“Good” is a completely relative term. “Good for you” and “good to you” aren’t that easy.
Maybe, it was simple for you. But out there in the streets, it’s rough. Everyone has there own problems, issues, and dealbreakers, combined with a past, bad experiences, and personalities. He!!, just dealing with those things alone whittle down your options.
So, I’d be careful before casting aspersions.
Blackfoote
April 26th, 2011
11:09 am
Women bashing is guys that want out but don’t know how to get out.
Celisea
April 26th, 2011
11:10 am
What’s going on with all of these moist men making excuses? Just go get you a good woman, yes it’s that simple. Throw the bad ones back and keep the good one.
Seriously, it ain’t that deep. Quit the belly aching of being with someone that’s all wrong…so you say…and doing all the wrong things. Toss ‘em back and keep going. Not that hard. We’re going to have to implement some sort of troll alert. EVERY topic turns to woman bashing. If it’s a fat chick that’s the problem, then all women should lose weight. If it’s a ho you got on your hands, then all women are hoes. If she’s trifling, then all women are trifling. Never heard so many men crying…gheesh
DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"
April 26th, 2011
11:10 am
My favorite line from Social Network when Mark Zuckerberg’s girlfriend was breaking up with him:
“You are probably going to be a very successful computer person. But you’re going to go through life thinking that girls don’t like you because you’re a nerd. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won’t be true. It’ll be because you’re an asshole.”
“Overlooked” people often invent these reasons (too short, too independent, too successful, blah blah blah) why they’re overlooked, but usually the problem is with them. Embrace yourself, be confident, and treat people right. Do that, and you will have no problem meeting people.
czBrat
April 26th, 2011
11:11 am
either he has been dealing with chicks that he had no real feelings for….or…he believes that his money should not enter into a relationship at all
good point, SC. and very well said. are these women wanting all kinds of financial favor from him or is it that any want/need is perceived as gold digging?
Celisea
April 26th, 2011
11:12 am
pretentious
kimmie
April 26th, 2011
11:12 am
Simple – You are off the chain today! I am cracking up over here! Keep them coming!
AmazonRed™
April 26th, 2011
11:12 am
It’s a real whine-fest in here today!
It really is. I understand this topic makes it easy for those to vent. And I don’t doubt it’s harder for men and women in less “desireable” categories to find dates. But it does depend on your mindset. There are folks who are short, fat, ugly, have diseases, broke and unemployed that find love everyday. Sometimes, it’s just dumb luck, other times it’s timing. But please don’t let your perceived short comings make an already uphill climb more difficult!
Celisea
April 26th, 2011
11:12 am
Let me go back and read Morris
AmazonRed™
April 26th, 2011
11:14 am
AmazonR, I offered you my .02 of advice yesterday, now I need yours. Can you help me out?
Of course. I don’t know what would qualify me to give YOU advice (compliment to you), but I’m all ears!
AmazonRed™
April 26th, 2011
11:15 am
I’m not a Mo’Nique fan – she’s loud, brash and not all that cute to me. But she’s married, and seems to be happily married. So if she can do it, I certainly can.
Everyone needs to find their person to motivate them.
kimmie
April 26th, 2011
11:15 am
Dreams – I’m really feeling your post!
Neo
April 26th, 2011
11:15 am
@lay in low, maybe so, but the other fact is that she is BOOORRRRIIING. Even when the dinner or other event happens, she was boring and complained. That’s the whole schtep, she has an agenda and the hubby has outlived his usefulness, apparantly. We might be more apt to DO some of the trips and other things if she would at the very least act like she has a pulse instead of using it as simply a time to “go somewhere else”. It doesn’t make any difference if we go to maui, Grand Caymen or just down the street to a Bed and Breakfast if she’s gonna do the same thing there as she did when we were at home, lie around, rest, sleep, read a book. I can keep my money in the bank account and let her do that at home. Maybe she IS bored, but dammit, so am I. And it isn’t because the scenery hasn’t changed.
lay in low
April 26th, 2011
11:18 am
@neo…you need to go ask for your penis back…lol
Morris
April 26th, 2011
11:18 am
SexyCool…
My brother in law would give you the shirt off of his back.
He just explains that once in a while..coupla bucks..no problem. But then it becomes routine. He’s like…dude..If I could meet a woman who once in a while stepped to me and said…naw..I will take care of that…he’d be all set. He says it never happens.
I don’t know what to tell him with that…except. Stop pulling out your wallet and doing anything. See how that goes. If a woman stays around with you doing the minimum for a long time…then maybe she’s cool enough to pull out the wallet more often.
His major gripe is not size, shape or height. It always seems to boil down to “they are always trying to get in my billfold quickly”… sad…
I just don’t know what to tell him. It seems to be a different world out on the dating scene nowadays…
Blackfoote
April 26th, 2011
11:18 am
If you going to say what she’s not then the other half is what you’re not.
Chink
April 26th, 2011
11:20 am
I’m not a Mo’Nique fan
Me either its almost annoying watching her…Maybe its the rolss she has played but I really dislike her ..too funny cause I really don’t know her.
Purple Rain
April 26th, 2011
11:21 am
kimmie, she is doing well and the wee hours of the morning are his and my time, we walk out in the front yard and I talk to him. We do this almost every morning before the sunrises, I bundle him up and we are out of here.
Dan, I think if some guys lowered their tolerance levels, raised their standards and had a better filter it would be. It is not like guys who have good women are better than those who don’t. They just went about the process differently. I am a firm believer if the same thing keeps happening to you then it’s you with the problem not the people you encounter….and that is not gender specific.
SexyCool
April 26th, 2011
11:22 am
So…he’s not going to have a problem with a chick withholding sex just to make sure that’s not the only thing he’s after?
See……^^^^that…right there….that’s why folks shouldn’t play games in relationships.
Neo
April 26th, 2011
11:22 am
@lay in low, I did and it seems it has a much different effect on the women I see, now. MUCH happier without that wedding ring (ball and chain) around my finger (in my nose). She has since married again and got divorced again. #WINNING
AmazonRed™
April 26th, 2011
11:23 am
I don’t know what to tell him with that…except. Stop pulling out your wallet and doing anything. See how that goes. If a woman stays around with you doing the minimum for a long time…then maybe she’s cool enough to pull out the wallet more often.
Morris – He definitely needs to tell these chicks no. But I wouldn’t necessarily do “the minimum” that sounds like a test or playing games. He just needs to not give these chicks money. Nothing wrong with him still paying for dates and behaving like a gentleman.
Where does he commonly meet the women he dates? What places does he frequent?
Dan - Simply....Superior
April 26th, 2011
11:24 am
@Morris
You might be bullishting; who says “billfold” anymore?