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Break Up Chronicles: When did you know it was over?

Sometimes in a dating relationship or budding romance you come to the realization that it’s not going to work out.  Things look really promising and progressed nicely until that moment when….well things just go off the rails.  This is basically the moment when something happens that kind of dashes all hope of a good thing happening.

In a oddly hilarious website and book, Tales of Romantic Dead Ends, explores those moments when a romance ends. Some are funny, some are sad, but they are all real.  I think there’s something about seeing fellow soldiers on the battlefield of love that makes you feel a little better about your own relationship failures.

A lot of us have to go through these crazy, funny, outrageous moments when a romance ends, but we are wiser and stronger because of them.  Perhaps a little worse for the wear? When you think about those misadventures you have had, when did you know it was over? (Maybe she popped up without calling first?! Ha).

What are your top “This is SO over” moments and what do you think you learned from the experience?

The one that sticks out for me? First date with a doctor from my hometown. We are leaving his garage and a very angry woman is standing on his front lawn staring at me like I had 3 heads.  I knew it was over when he lied and said he didn’t know who she was. I learned that I can get really upset when someone I’m dating insults my intelligence. Seriously, it’s a thing with me.

Oh, I could go on and on with these! Your turn!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog.

343 comments Add your comment

6'1&Luvit

April 21st, 2011
7:24 am

I knew it was over when he started doing all the things that urked the hell out of me. It was like a movie that I had seen. It was like I know eventually if I continue to do all this stuff she hate, she will hate me and walk away…….and I did. I finally had a complete Carrie Bradshaw moment and was like “This is over on top of OVER”

the watch dog

April 21st, 2011
7:33 am

You know it is over when:
#! She does not want sex.
#2 You see her with another guy
#3 She starts calling you by someone elses name
#4 she moves and does not leave an address
#5 She tells you “it is all over”.

burntb42

April 21st, 2011
7:34 am

OH yes..I knew it was really over when my ex tried to set ME up for a date with a woman she just met! Tha is cold.I knew even more that it was over when she complained to me that her ex (after me) had told her he would meet her for dinner,then cancelled it . She was upset with him about it because she knew he was meeting another woman instead. Oh yes..it’s over..this woman is not good for me. Move on to the next victim please. ( BTW I told her that I didn’t need her help finding a date and so stop it.)

Eating Boogers For The Protein

April 21st, 2011
7:52 am

I knew it was over when I saw her on an online porn site.

Mark Moore

April 21st, 2011
8:12 am

I knew it was over when I found out she had a penis

Dee

April 21st, 2011
8:21 am

LOL@ Mark….Shouldn’t you have noticed the Adam’s Apple first? I knew it was over when I would plan major events in my life, and he would never cross my mind when I was planning them.

USMC

April 21st, 2011
8:23 am

I knew it was over before it started when she was rude as $h!t to the waitress and kept sending her food back to the kitchen.
(she live on Ramen noodles)

Sexual Chocolate

April 21st, 2011
8:23 am

I knew it was over after our first sexual encounter!

jake's mom

April 21st, 2011
8:24 am

When I found a black slip in the backseat of his car, and he tried to tell me it was his daughter’s!!!

Varinia

April 21st, 2011
8:25 am

I knew it was over when my husband said he had to work late and at my work that evening I had something really unusual happening (very good) . I was so excited and went to his work (at 10pm) and it was closed. He then proceeded to tell me that he had to help a dying friend in the hospital (I didn’t even know about this dying friend and hospitals don’t allow visitors at 10pm) when he came home at 2pm. Too many lies, that was it…..

MzNewy

April 21st, 2011
8:26 am

I knew it was over when every thing he did began to irk me. The stuff I thought was cute in the beginning became annoying. I really knew it was over when I sent all his calls to voicemail and a text message from him sent my eyes rolling as the “what now” look crossed my face.

name

April 21st, 2011
8:28 am

I knew it was over when she said something to the tune of “not until I’m married”.

Sweet Pea

April 21st, 2011
8:33 am

Good Morning!

You knew it’s over when the communication was no more after making numerous attempts to talk and there was a drastic change in the atmosphere altogether in the relationship for obvious reasons such as the ex-wife, his depression(hmmmm I think I knew what that was about), and inconsistencies.

What do you think you learned from the experience?

I’ve learned when there are subtle comments, red flags, flashing signs, and smoke signals going up…take heed and make an exit to move on.
There’s no need to linger in a place where there’s barren land.

SlimNumeroUno

April 21st, 2011
8:36 am

Interesting….

OuttaHere

April 21st, 2011
8:39 am

1) I knew it was over when she would go out of town and I didn’t care and in fact, ENJOYED it.

2) I knew it was over when she wouldn’t sit next to me on the couch, hold my hand and wouldn’t kiss me.

3) I knew it was over when I asked her about this lack of physicality and she replied “Cause you always think we are going to have sex when I do.”

4) I knew it was over when we went a few times having sex and she didn’t even kiss me.

5) I knew it was over when she asked why I was “taking so long” to finish having sex(5-6 minutes).

This is all with the same woman that was married to.

Trapped

April 21st, 2011
8:42 am

I feel OuttaHere’s pain. I’m pretty much the same way. Problem is, my wife thinks everything is OK with the way things are. She says “This is normal in a marriage.” Normal for WHO??????

Reggie

April 21st, 2011
8:44 am

Oh WOW….I’m having deja vu right now……

David

April 21st, 2011
8:47 am

I knew it was over when she changed after 9 years of the woman I couldn’t live without, to the next year of the woman I wouldn’t even go out on a DATE with.

Lana

April 21st, 2011
8:50 am

Interesting comments. I knew it was over when the guy I was dating was more interested in having sex “with himself” than having sex with me.

MC Hammock

April 21st, 2011
8:54 am

With my first wife, she decided to keep going on trips with her girlfriends so much that I started looking forward to those trips. No point in hanging around a person that isn’t interested in spending time with you. It seemed she always had to be entertained, go on trips and “I’m meeting some girlfriends out for drinks” and come home two hours past when she said she was going to be. Sex with her was nothing more than checking it off her list so she wouldn’t have to do it again for another 7-10 days.

MC Hammock

April 21st, 2011
8:57 am

My first thought was that she had someone on the side, but I never saw or heard anything that would point directly to that. Either she was great at hiding her tracks or my instincts were correct. I never found out.

Chink

April 21st, 2011
8:59 am

I knew it was over when I didn’t miss him and wasn’t attracted to him any more.

One thing we always talk about signs and stuff maybe sometimes you are supposed to go through the break up …because signs are easy to see in the very beginning but once time starts moving its easy to have blinders on.

Yes Hindsight is 20/20 but maybe you needed that relationship to make you more aware of yourself.

One lesson I need to imprint in my head is no second chances they usually don’t work. No matter how long its been …unless we married and get counseling.

Ark2011

April 21st, 2011
9:00 am

I knoew that this chick wasn’t the one for me after we dated a month and then had sex. It was AWFUUUUUUUUULLLL!!!! Moving on.

bobgirl

April 21st, 2011
9:01 am

When he kept comparing my kid to his and started pressuring me to marry him…..after 7 months of dating..

Sweet Pea

April 21st, 2011
9:07 am

typing faster than my brain is working..meant to say I knew not You knew….

I knew it was over when the guy I was dating was more interested in having sex “with himself” than having sex with me.

______________________________FLATLINE______________________________

Sweet Pea

April 21st, 2011
9:10 am

OK??? typing faster than my brain is working

My brain is working faster than my typing…I digress

I really do need a cup of java to get myself going this morning! It’s kind of blah over here!! Carry on……

WhattheWhat

April 21st, 2011
9:16 am

How about you know the relationship is long over and the other person just won’t take no for an answer…. What do you do then besides moving out and changing your name??

AmazonRed™

April 21st, 2011
9:21 am

Morning all –

Let me rewind the dating reel.

I knew it was over when one guy didn’t want me to come around his family anymore after I had already met them and bonded with them.

I knew it was over when I had to continuously to “remind” one “no glove no love” (seriously?!)

I knew it was over with another when I kept coming in 2nd to the playa lifestyle

I knew it was over when one told me “I’m just not ready for a commitment.”

kellibean

April 21st, 2011
9:21 am

I knew it was over when I was on the phone with him (he lived long distance) and I found out one of my friends had committed suicide that day. Instead of being supportive, he starting questioning my relationship with my friend. I hung up on him and refused to answer his calls and he supposedly purposely overdosed on meds and had a friend take him to the hospital. I still ignored him…

Ark2011

April 21st, 2011
9:23 am

Hey Lana, I’m sure this wan’t the case, but maybe it says something about your “intimate arts” skills. Maybe you were too vanilla and after a few times of the same routine in the same progression for the same length of time, he decided that at least he could talk dirty to himself. The mind is the greatest erogenous zone on the human body, ya know.

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 21st, 2011
9:25 am

@6′1 – is that you from way back when?

@Slim – why interesting?

On topic: I knew it was over when I asked about “the space”. We were siiting on the couch one day, like we did, and there was this noticeable space between us. When I asked about it, she said “it’s nothing” but called two days later and broke up with me.

AmazonRed™

April 21st, 2011
9:26 am

How about you know the relationship is long over and the other person just won’t take no for an answer…. What do you do then besides moving out and changing your name??

Get a pit bull and a restraining order. :)

abc

April 21st, 2011
9:27 am

It was over when we took a cruise, she got mad at me and locked me out of the cabin. I spent 2 nights sleeping on deck chairs. That psycho beeyotch would fight about anything — never date a lawyer. Not even a paralegal.

AmazonRed™

April 21st, 2011
9:30 am

:lol: Is that a true story abc? 2 nights? She should have been thrown overboard.

AmazonRed™

April 21st, 2011
9:31 am

I knew it was over when he told me he was a Sigma. *shrugs* :lol:

Simple Man....

April 21st, 2011
9:35 am

Damn…Based on these experiences..It seems that you know it is over as soon as it begins….

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 21st, 2011
9:45 am

I knew it was over when I prolonged my workouts at the gym after work to avoid going home.

I knew it was over when we couldn’t find a place to eat because of the list of things she “didn’t eat.”

I knew it was over when I was attracted to her friend.

MzNewy

April 21st, 2011
9:46 am

I have been guilty of staying in a relationship well beyond the expiration date. I think we all have a time or two…hoping he/she will change. Now, as soon as something on my “oh h3ll naw” list is spotted I chuck the dueces. I figure at this stage of the game… (30s) if you are still trying to find yourself, I am not your chic cause I am NOT LOOKING FOR ANYONE WHO IS STILL LOST. LOL

abc

April 21st, 2011
9:47 am

True story! It was actually a really big relief to get away from that one, what a big mistake she was.

Ark2011

April 21st, 2011
9:53 am

@OuttaHere

She only wanted you to have sex for 6 or 7 minutes? A WOMAN said that? From what I understand, she couldn’t be getting anything out of it in just six or seven minutes. Dude, that chick has some else’s penis on her brain. Most women don’t want to even get started if it’s only going to last six or seven minutes. I’m just sayin…..

Leggs

April 21st, 2011
9:55 am

Good morning.

Hello 6′1!!! How have your been? Where you been hiding?

I knew it was over way before he said these scathing words, but when he told me I was a worthless piece of sh*it, I went straight to the courthouse! I asked if he really believed that to be true and he said Hell Yeah! No one talks to me like that with all I was carrying and doing! To this day, he regrets saying that! Never understood how people can argue and respect is completely thrown out the window! If you love a person (even when arguing) you would never utter words like that!!!

On a brighter note, I’m loving all these comments.

MzNewy ~ I can definitely relate with your 8:26.

SlimNumeroUno

April 21st, 2011
10:02 am

Dan just interesting to see other peoples “light bulb moments”. It’s a hard truth to accept when you are emotionally involved/attached to someone. I had to face that reality in my last relationship as well…only thing is, I didn’t have just ONE come to Jesus moment….which basically means, I kept ignoring those road signs living in HOPE that my investment would return the results I had hoped for…Well, needless to say, that ‘return’ never came.

Indy Cutie

April 21st, 2011
10:02 am

I knew it was over when he decided to let me know how good my sister lookin in her short shorts….WTH!!!

Reggie

April 21st, 2011
10:07 am

@Ark2011, my g/f would say it was over if I ONLY lasted six or seven minutes….LOL

The Ghost of Swiss

April 21st, 2011
10:08 am

I knew it was over when Slim killed my azz…

Raqi V

April 21st, 2011
10:10 am

I knew it was over when my body stopped quivering and he buried his face between my neck and the pillow and whispered WOW!! in my ear.

Oh, that’s not what you were asking. LOL I’m sorry but some of these comments are kind of sad I am just trying to lift the mood a little.

Good morning.

Raqi V

April 21st, 2011
10:11 am

Last night at our friend’s b-day party my nerd of a husband was talking about human synergy to the younger brother of my friend’s husband. The guys were talking at the young guy about his recent breakup with the woman he thought would be the one for him but was really no good for him.

He was telling the young man how we all carry an energy and how two people either enhance/build on each other or either produce a negative energy aren’t able to grow or co-exist together. He also stated out the two can start out good but later start to have a negative effect on the other.

When I read the topic this morning I thought back to that conversation.

My relationship with the Nature Guy was good until he became too needy. I knew it was over when I began to fell physically and mentally exhausted around him.

I can thinks of few dates I went on where I knew it was over the minute I let them know I had two sons.

SlimNumeroUno

April 21st, 2011
10:11 am

Ghost – Don’t fret my pet, I had a seance and brought you back to life.

czBrat

April 21st, 2011
10:11 am

HiYas!

i knew it was over soooo many times, but i stayed. i knew i was thru when i started cursing under my breath every time his headlights turned into the driveway. found myself constantly hoping he wouldn’t make it home another night. that’s just not good.

what i’ve learned from it is best summed up right here on the blog: believe when people show you who they really are.

scary thought, abc, even THAT woman is just right for someone. :shock:

czBrat

April 21st, 2011
10:16 am

and yes, leggs, even your vile ex is just right for someone too. smdh.