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When should you decline a date offer?

I used to get so frustrated with one of my friends because she would accept any and every offer for a date.  It’s great that she is friendly and approachable, I think more women should be! However, she doesn’t seem to have figured out when to turn a date down.

Even though my friend claims to be drawn to a specific type of guy, she welcomes and encourages the polar opposite to pursue her. When things don’t work out she is confused, shocked even.

She thinks I should try it her way more.  She asked me why I didn’t give the guy on Marta -  (a loud man with a tear drop tattoo under his eye) my phone number.  Of course, I could tell we weren’t a match but this was using that whole “judging a book by it’s tattooed cover” logic.  I told her that I’m pretty sure I’m way too boring for him!  Despite his persistent, profanity-laced attempts to get my number, I declined.

Maybe I could adopt her ways more ….and maybe she could try to be more selective.  I’m a firm believer in dating someone compatible with you but that can’t always be determined in a span of a Marta train ride.

When is it appropriate to decline a date or pass on someone who is vying for your attention?

When you figure out someone is not a good match, isn’t the polite thing to do is say no? How do you handle it when you have to let someone know you’re not willing to date them?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

283 comments Add your comment

SexyCool

April 15th, 2011
1:31 pm

Understood. No worries. I put it out there, so I understand that all sides of it will be discussed.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 15th, 2011
1:33 pm

Leggs — Who is your nemesis? Cankles?

SlimNumeroUno

April 15th, 2011
1:37 pm

Ohhhh Swiss, do me..i mean, do mine. What would be my nemesis?

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 15th, 2011
1:39 pm

SlimFat Azz Part Deux

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 15th, 2011
1:41 pm

@PR

All you say is true.

Where I’m coming from with it is instinctual.

For example, did you wife sleep soundly when y’all first got together? Or was she as vigilent as she had been while single? Over time, did she ease into sleeping soundly beside you with little to know worry about every sound?

See, a person can say anything and mean 95% of it. But those slight mental and physical reactions tell more of the story than most recognize.

So, yeah, buying a house is a big step; it just may not be the final one for some couples.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 15th, 2011
1:41 pm

Slim — Or Tiny Va-giny. Take your pick.

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 15th, 2011
1:43 pm

Really, adults have nemsis (sp)?

On a blog?

that’s funny

Raqi V

April 15th, 2011
1:43 pm

And Dan I feel that part of the self preservation process is knowing who is doing what and possibly eliminating situations before they occur.

Purchases made for the household on my sole credit card while married in many cases does become both of OUR responsibility. No you cannot make your wife to be get rid of her credit card but you should care enough that she has it knowing that part of it can one day be allocated to you in a divorce settlement.

I know a little about this because my friends brother got divorced and all things accomplished and accumulated in the married became communal responsibilities and debts. No matter whose name it was purchased in. She could prove she bought if for the house and he had to pay half of those bills.

(if you all are even still talking about this. LOL)

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 15th, 2011
1:43 pm

My nemesis: Dutch Oven

SlimNumeroUno

April 15th, 2011
1:44 pm

swiss – I think this game sounded good in theory until Tiny Va-giny lol Sort of reminds me of those Garbage Pail Kid Cards

SlimNumeroUno

April 15th, 2011
1:51 pm

How about Cheese Grater? lol

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 15th, 2011
1:51 pm

Purple’s nemesis: The Barzini Family. :lol:

Raqi V

April 15th, 2011
1:51 pm

And the funny thing is some of that stuff he didn’t want or need and never used. Her argument was it was there for his usage and pleasure had he chose to use and she never denied him the usage of those things.

Willie Dynamite

April 15th, 2011
1:52 pm

Afternoon All,

Dan – whens the wedding?

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 15th, 2011
1:54 pm

More important question: Dan — when’s the bachelor party?

SlimNumeroUno

April 15th, 2011
1:58 pm

Not sure if yall know but there is going to be a new reality show called MOBWives…maybe we’ll see Mrs Purple on there? :lol:

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 15th, 2011
1:59 pm

@Raqi

I hear you. Though, divorce is not an option. I wrote a check that had a comma in it.

@WD – August 20, 2011

@Swiss – One is here in about a month, the other is 3 weeks before the wedding in Vegas, and there is talk of a third. (I have a disparate group of friends).

Willie Dynamite

April 15th, 2011
1:59 pm

Swiss – true dat, Plus knowing Dan the bachelor party’s entertainment better have steel umbrellas. Dan will make it rain with a roll of quarters and bytch about that. hahaha j/k bnr Dano

Raqi V

April 15th, 2011
1:59 pm

I can’t remember if it was Mari or Jacq (both attorneys) that told me about the guy that had to pay for ½ of the cc bill that was still owed at the time of the divorce where his wife got a breast enhancement. 2 months before they separated. LOL

Raqi V

April 15th, 2011
2:00 pm

Though, divorce is not an option.

Dan, that’s the right attitude to have going in. :wink:

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 15th, 2011
2:07 pm

@WD

Pennies – cheaper and they hurt less coming down.

wow

April 15th, 2011
2:08 pm

SO Raqi baby is in the hospital fighting for its life & you are on a blog BS, but then again what do u expect a H

SexyCool

April 15th, 2011
2:09 pm

Raqi V

April 15th, 2011
2:09 pm

SexyCool

April 15th, 2011
2:12 pm

Rock – too frickin’ funny.

And in other news, ABC cancelled All my Children and One Life to Live. Not that I ever watched either one of them. The only soap I ever watched for any length of time was The Young and The Restless. Back when Brad was the pool boy and Jack was married to Patty.

Raqi V

April 15th, 2011
2:13 pm

SexyCool, I am surprised soap operas still exist. I would have thought that era of women died out 10 years ago.

Raqi V

April 15th, 2011
2:16 pm

I guess you can say Reality Television has replaced soap opera. All the same drama but without the dramatic background music. LOL

SexyCool

April 15th, 2011
2:17 pm

I know, right?

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 15th, 2011
2:19 pm

“guy that had to pay for ½ of the cc bill that was still owed at the time of the divorce where his wife got a breast enhancement. 2 months before they separated.”

He should have negotiated to right to come over and skeet on them tit-TAYs every other weekend, too… :lol:

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 15th, 2011
2:20 pm

Raqi / Sexy — Mrs. Swiss still DVRs her 2 soaps & watches those suckers every day…

Jeff

April 15th, 2011
2:21 pm

1. They’re married
2. They have multiple baby daddy’s
3. They’re and obvious goldigger/princess.
4. When they describe they’re favorite thing as a finally tuned European sports car.
5. When they treat their kids like crap.
6. If she walks like a clydesdale when she wears high heels (you’ve seen them at church)!

Raqi V

April 15th, 2011
2:21 pm

SexyCool, let’s compare notes. Which is harder? Potty Training or House breaking? LOL

Liz is sitting here on the pot and I know the minute I put her undies back on she is going to wet them.

Sassy Me...lost like Nemo :-)

April 15th, 2011
2:22 pm

The only soap I ever watched for any length of time was The Young and The Restless. Back when Brad was the pool boy and Jack was married to Patty.

Me,too. Lawd when I first saw Victor Newman cry I was genuinely devastated…those were the days.

ABC cancelled All my Children and One Life to Live

I know some folks are in serious mourning right now….

SexyCool

April 15th, 2011
2:23 pm

I Tivo GMA everyday for some of the segments I want to see and Oprah, but that’s about it.

SexyCool

April 15th, 2011
2:24 pm

Well…considering the fact that I’m about to lose it with GiGi…IDK…

Willie Dynamite

April 15th, 2011
2:26 pm

Dan – funny, good thing its YOUR bachelor party. Hopefully whoever is throwing it for you will NOT have the same shall we say fickleness as you. Afterall you only get married once. hahaha. Try to enjoy bruh. I want an invite.

SexyCool

April 15th, 2011
2:27 pm

TheDude took her to get shots the Sunday before we moved and since then, she ain’t been right. (lol)

She had been doing really well in the crate all day, but since those shots, she can’t go all day without having to go. So, I’ve had to open up the crate to give her more room. Otherwise, I will come home to a dog that I have to bathe everyday.

Leggs

April 15th, 2011
2:28 pm

I suppose Cankles make perfect sense.

SexyCool

April 15th, 2011
2:29 pm

But…now that we’ve got the move out of the way, we have GOT to get her some training. She has been showing her behind the last few days when I have called her to come inside.

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 15th, 2011
2:31 pm

A dog that boo-boo’s where it eats is a problem.

@WD

Fa sho. If I know the plan before hand, I don’t mind sharing. The more the merrier.

SexyCool

April 15th, 2011
2:31 pm

She doesn’t eat in the crate.

Raqi V

April 15th, 2011
2:32 pm

Swiss, maybe he should have negotiated having one of the implants removed and him having full custody of it. He can use it as a stress ball every time he thinks about some other guy palming an enhancement he is paying for. LOL

AmazonRed™

April 15th, 2011
2:32 pm

Guys seem to think that they’re allowed to look horribly unattractive and still should have a very nice looking woman. Not so!

Why did this make me laugh so hard? :lol:

Raqi V

April 15th, 2011
2:33 pm

SexyCool, is she going to be a big dog? Have you consider getting your yard fenced and putting her outside in a dog house?

AmazonRed™

April 15th, 2011
2:34 pm

We can tell your real impressed with yourself.

Sure am! Why wouldn’t I be? :)

Raqi V

April 15th, 2011
2:35 pm

Why did this make me laugh so hard?

AmazonR, I guess that poster never heard of the Janet Jackson Jermaine Dupri collaboration. LOL

SexyCool

April 15th, 2011
2:35 pm

Rock – she will get to be at least 50 pounds, so she will have some size on her. And she will spend some time in the back yard eventually.

AmazonRed™

April 15th, 2011
2:41 pm

AmazonR, I guess that poster never heard of the Janet Jackson Jermaine Dupri collaboration. LOL

:lol:

Lady~

April 15th, 2011
2:45 pm

When is it appropriate to decline a date or pass on someone who is vying for your attention? When you are simply NOt interested……..Happy Friday MIA~ ;)

Purple Rain

April 15th, 2011
2:46 pm

Sexy Cool, maybe the shots have something in them thats making her go and the change of environment as well. How old is she again? It takes multiple months for them to get potty trained.

Swiss and Slim, no mob ties here in America. LOL