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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

How much communication do you need?

Comedian Chris Rock once said that women loved talking so much, that if talking were an Olympic sport men wouldn’t stand a chance.  Alright, so women enjoy talking…a lot.  What do men have against talking?  There doesn’t seem to be a loss of words when it comes to NBA playoff debates or fantasy football stats!

What some men seem to dread is the discussions about their relationships, though.  Honestly, I’m not a big fan of the long drawn out talks about relationship issues either.  I understand that communication is important to make a relationship work.  I just think some people take it too far and go overboard.  How much communication do you really need in a relationship, anyway?

A reader emailed me recently because she has a hard time getting her man to talk about their sex life.  She wants to find out what he likes, tell him what she likes, and really work on making things better.  Her man is not the “communicating type” i.e. he’d rather just figure it out in the bedroom without all the deconstructing and analyzing.

I know that a man who is not big on communicating is likely to change, but is there some way to compromise this kind of thing?

Men, does it bother you when you are pressed to share feelings, thoughts, etc. when you are dating someone?  If you are in a relationship, are you willing to meet your woman half way and do a little more communicating?

Ladies, do you find that talking to your man about the relationship is like pulling teeth?  Have you tried taking him to a sports bar and talking to him over a beer? <– Advice from Steve Harvey. True Story.

BY Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

279 comments Add your comment

SlimNumeroUno

April 13th, 2011
7:55 am

Good morning,

I will be in and out today so hopefully we’ll have some good responses throughout the day.

Dr. Spock

April 13th, 2011
8:27 am

Men do enjoy talking about items that are of interest to them. In relationship discussions, they just want a general view, because the details are just too time consuming. The more the woman presses, the more the man retreats further back in his mental cave.

Women are the same way, just on different subjects. They also cover the same subjects many times and in a variety of angles while the men are thinking “Didn’t I just answer that?” Men can think “Will she EVER shut up?” while the women think “Why won’t he talk to me and what is he hiding?”

Reggie

April 13th, 2011
8:32 am

If I EVER had a woman that actually ASKED about what I liked in bed or world actually TELL me what she liked or her fantasies, I would wrap her up and put her in a safe to protection. In my experience, wemen just think sex should “happen” and the man either knows how or he doesn’t. I don’t think I’ve ever met a woman that would actually hold a lengthy conversation on sexual likes or dislikes.

On the other side of the coin, women can run off at the mouth about virtually everything else.

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 13th, 2011
8:35 am

Half of that “talking about [y]our relationship” is a exercise in validation. It’s about a need to ensure that reciprocity in your chosen mate. Most guys (ie, the one’s I’ve had these discussions with) feel like “I’m here” is validation enough; all while realizing that the dreaded conversation is a necessary evil.

As for the conversation about sex, well, that’s a welcomed one. If there are improvements that need to be made, let’s get to it. Why waste either of our time by exercising futility?

I for one, have always been comfortable and attracted to women that could voice their opinions about sex (in and out of the designated area at that time), so I personally don’t have a problem with it.

Morning

DFW D.C.

April 13th, 2011
8:42 am

chicks blabber bout everything but the important stuff. Telling me what u like in bed is great and welcomed. Telling me bout Niecy’s relationship issues does nothing for me

Jeff

April 13th, 2011
8:49 am

It’s not that men are wrong; we’re simple creatures.

My experience tells me this: men’s priorities are usually 4-5 and rarely change throughout his life. Women’s , on the other hand, are @20 and half of those change on trends, the last oprah show, the last lifetime movie, the last commercial, etc

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 13th, 2011
9:26 am

Yeah… Got to agree with what most of the other dudes have said already… Guys don’t mind talking, we just don’t like to talk about the same sh!t that you do. Now, as for this muff___ who didn’t want to talk about sexual likes/dislikes with his chick… Um… yeah, there’s something wrong with that picture…

Morning, blogville!

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 13th, 2011
9:28 am

Morning

What some men seem to dread is the discussions about their relationships, though.
Not true. What men dread is the discussion about the jealous b%#$es at your job. The only relationship discussion that bothers me is the one we’ve had already (and mutually agreed was resolved). That shyyyyt irks the ph$#$ck out me.

Bumpity Bump

April 13th, 2011
9:31 am

ATTEMPTED BLOG TOPIC HIGHJACK! (Worked like a charm yesterday) Adult websites (you know what I’m referring to)make more money off the internet than the REST OF THE INTERNET COMBINED! What is it about that item that is so attractive to men and in some cases, women?
1) Does it bother you when your man/woman watches it?
2) Do you think he/she is comparing your body to the models?
3) Do you think he/she could pick up a few tricks from it?
4) After seeing it, do you ever wonder if your “style” is too bland or vanilla?

Speak now or forever hold your peace……

Wayne Gacy

April 13th, 2011
9:37 am

Well…..ALL RIGHTY THEN! Consider the topic highjacked.

MC Hammock

April 13th, 2011
9:38 am

I think BB wants to get employed by the AJC. Maybe he should start a “Man Blog”. Wonder what all of the topics would center around….? LMAO

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
9:44 am

Good morning!

@Reggie ~ I like your post. I’m the type that will talk with a man about what I like, asks what he likes and even talk about fantasies. Hopefully, we’ll both be able to make some of those fantasies come to fruition. I never thought it rare for a man and woman to communicate their sexual desires. Even to the point of letting each other know what they “don’t” care for. It should be part of helping the relationship grow, as well as learning about your partner’s likes and dislikes.

Sassy Me...Exhaling :-)

April 13th, 2011
9:45 am

That’s such a thirsty rookie move. If you’re going to do dirt(or try to) just do it…no need to announce it..

kimmie

April 13th, 2011
9:47 am

Morning All!

I’m not a big “let’s talk” kind of woman in my relationship. I guess I’m kind of like a guy in that respect. Let’s just hit the important stuff when we need to and move on. Get back to the fun and interesting stuff we like to talk about. Work stuff – we both share a little of the drama that goes on, but I doubt if it would add up to 5 minutes over the course of 2 weeks. Gender-based stuff – well that’s what I have my girlfriends for or this blog!

We just don’t feel the need to psychoanalyze everything. And my man’s undergrad is in psychology. When we need to talk about something, we do! If it’s something we need further help with – I’m sure he would see to it that we got the help. Otherwise, don’t stress things.

Sassy Me...Exhaling :-)

April 13th, 2011
9:47 am

It should be part of helping the relationship grow,

Exactly. That should be a normal process in the growth and evolution of a meaningful relationship. That’s part of the crux of it I think. We all want to please our partners but that can’t/won’t happen without dialogue.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
9:49 am

Bumpity Bump, every now and then…okay many days…the topic changes at the mere mention of the words off topic. I think though you have the wrong impression from yesterday’s turn. We ain’t pervs…lol If you try too hard, in switching up that can have a reverse effect…you can kill the flow.

Sassy Me...Exhaling :-)

April 13th, 2011
9:52 am

If you try too hard, in switching up that can have a reverse effect…you can kill the flow.

cosign….

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
10:00 am

Before I forget —–

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO POPPAG, JAMOCA and DEMIGOD/ALVIN!!!!!

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 13th, 2011
10:02 am

Also, I think men & women have completely different motives with talking. For dudes, it’s an exercise in problem solving. If you tell us your problem(s), we’re going to offer up possible solutions. I think most women just want someone to validate her feelings and agree with her that that hussy at work is a b!tch… :lol:

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
10:08 am

……….and (drumroll) to my kid….16 years old today….

I didn’t know Jamoca’s birthday was today

Happy Birthday to you bloggers as well!!!

MC Hammock

April 13th, 2011
10:10 am

@Swiss, That’s almost word for word what’s in Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Men feel like that if you approach them with a quandry, you are asking them to fix it…so we try. Women just want to vent and share their feelings and have someone sharing those feelings with them. For women, it’s not necessarily about finding a solution to the problem. That’s just Greek to a man. Why detail the problem to us if you aren’t looking to solve it?

Al Bundy

April 13th, 2011
10:13 am

Peg: “Al, when you were talking obout all those women, you weren’t talking about me were you?”

Al: “I never do….”

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 13th, 2011
10:16 am

Happy Birthday’s to all those mentioned

Fion

April 13th, 2011
10:20 am

@ Celisea
“and (drumroll) to my kid….16 years old today”

“Great job SUPER MOM!”

………as Celisea stands there with hands on hips, cape flappin in the wind and Go-Go boots!

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
10:22 am

Fion – Go Go Boots….absolutely!! Funky and sexy!!

SUPER MOM I am :)

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 13th, 2011
10:23 am

Happy Bday to all the bloggers.

Fion

April 13th, 2011
10:24 am

yeah, in peeped your style a while back. :)

Fion

April 13th, 2011
10:25 am

Hands down toughest job on the planet today! “Being a Parent.”

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
10:27 am

Fion – :)

Funny how you can draw ideas and conclusions and styles and personalities (to some degree) by how we write. I’m not including folks faking…lol

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
10:28 am

Fion – Hands down toughest job on the planet today! “Being a Parent.”

You ain’t never lied.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
10:28 am

Looking back, when I was much, much younger and very naïve, hindsight shows me that all the extraness in communication that I needed and wanted back then was merely the need for confirmation. Needing to know that “he” loves and adores me. Getting him to express his feelings was my attempt to get that confirmation. I grew to learn to recognize love in action. Upon learning that didn’t mean I no longer required verbal interaction but it just means that I don’t need that verbal confirmation like I used to.

Now having been so long with my love our communication is talking about our everyday happenings. Keeping each other in the know. Discussing the kids, household matters, the business and not taking each other for granted. Remaining mentally abreast. If one doesn’t like something we say it. That’s communicating.

When it comes to physical communication we do our best to stay in touch. We are quite comfortable at this point in our baring it all. And by that I mean if one of us just wants “a little of [this] tonight” we let it be known. That eliminates some aggravating thoughts and tiring moments.

And there is something seriously wrong in any relationship when the only communication and discussions your man even attempt to be a party of is those that pertain to sex. Run like the wind if your guy will only give you the time of day to talk about sex and all things remotely related to sex.

Fion

April 13th, 2011
10:30 am

@ Celisea

I play around (joke) on here a lot, but every now and then I’ll say something that’s really part of me.
If you pay close attention to what some say, you can see where they’re at.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
10:34 am

I think communication fails a lot when complacency sets in. Many get set in a way where things are slight above passing or average at best and any mention of changing for the better or best gets balked at. You should never allow yourself and relationship to get to where as long as things are ‘okay’ with you, your mates needs and wants are less than important as far as you are truly concerned.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
10:38 am

Fion – I play around (joke) on here a lot, but every now and then I’ll say something that’s really part of me.
If you pay close attention to what some say, you can see where they’re at.

This is probably how it is most times for others. You’re right though even among the joking and debating you can extract a lot from what’s written.

Blackfoote

April 13th, 2011
10:39 am

I wellcome any opportunity to listen,talk,advise, and, recieve criticism. I expect the truth from you all I ask is don’t go off when I am truthful with you. “Some” women emotions are chips on their shoulder.

Happy Wednesday Folks:

kimmie

April 13th, 2011
10:46 am

I grew to learn to recognize love in action.

Raqi – That’s a real sign of growth. Not saying you don’t need the verbal anymore, but it better be expressed by your actions first and foremost.

Picante

April 13th, 2011
10:49 am

I saw someone post this on an earlier blog:

Her: “I can’t believe you said that. That hurt my feelings.”

Him: “But you asked me to always tell you the truth.”

Her: “But the way you said it was very hurtful.”

Him: “Actually, all I said was the truth. Maybe me telling you the truth is what really hurt your feelins.”

Blackfoote

April 13th, 2011
11:00 am

Hey talking mother power and thanks for all you mothers and step moms. But tell me how this mother in NY drove into the Hudson River killing herself and all her children. This is what I’m talking about a woman wearing her emotions on her shoulder.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 13th, 2011
11:01 am

Alot of people communicate with constraints. For example, I was having a conversation this morning about someone who always likes to say, “I don’t sugarcoat. I tell it like it is.” This same person is the BIGGEST baby when they’re on the receiving end of being told like it is. That’s not communication.

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
11:02 am

@Celisea ~ Happy 16th to your child AND TO YOU. 16 is no joke (LOL).

“I think communication fails a lot when complacency sets in” – EXACTLY. When you become so set in a routine, boredom sets in quickly and the mind and eye starts to wander. Without communication, someone else’s plate becomes more inviting and appears to be tastier. A relationship must remain as robust as your morning coffee. You can’t wait to get to your morning cup of coffee. You should have the same amount of jest for your relationship. Keep it vibrant and open therefore communication should never be a problem.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
11:02 am

While I think communication is key, I would have to agree the approach, the delivery and the expectation contrasts much so. After so long a time with a person, you sort of learn how to approach a discussion void of the dread associated. One thing I’ve learned over the years, the quickest way to have a man avoid you or shut down is to state “we need to talk.” And because men and women view “talking” or having a talk much much diferent, sometimes just being clever how a woman goes about it, is half the battle.

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 13th, 2011
11:03 am

Glad to see you (and your sense) back Raqi!

Hope you and the little one’s are doing well!

Mr_NYC

April 13th, 2011
11:05 am

Great communication is the fuel of intimacy.

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 13th, 2011
11:05 am

@Kimmie

Learning to recognize love in action ain’t growth (IMO), it’s maturing beyond that fantasy.

The man that loves you loves you even when he can’t stand you – and vice versa.

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
11:06 am

@Blackfoote ~ “emotions” isn’t a strong enough word. She was wearing her “disgust” on her shoulders with her life, her husband and her children. The 10-yr old she let out was to punish her husband daily from her watery grave.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
11:08 am

Yes kimmie it is nice to still hear every now and then how much I am loved and needed but I can see clearly just how much I do mean to him.

Not communicating breeds resentment and disdain. The old saying is “a closed mouth doesn’t get fed”. We make the mistake in not speaking up and/or speaking out, yet we get angry with our mates when we are not getting what we need and want. We get angry when our mate doesn’t come thru for us but we leave them to read our minds or interpret our actions.

I am still guilty of that offense sometimes of allowing matters to go too long and I get upset but then I have to look within and tell myself “Girl stop. Say something to the man so he will know how you feel”.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
11:09 am

Celisea, 16 huh? Is she bugging you to death about driving like my knucklehead is. LOL

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 13th, 2011
11:09 am

@Dreams/Picante

I get accused, often, but being an arsehole so much that I’ve come to accept in myself.

But where people get that is me telling the truth.

“No, it’s not always pretty. No, I could not have said it “better’” (perhaps in a showtune – fugg does that even mean?). “I gave you the truth, as I saw/felt it, in that moment.”

At a certain point, people get so blindsided by what’s said, that all they can argue is the “how”.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
11:10 am

Thanks Leggs.

Blackfoote – She was not a mother….at all. First she wasn’t able to deal with whatever the problem was then she was selfish.

Dreams – I’ve had my feelings hurt awful from having “a talk” but I want it no other way. I know the mantra for most men is women don’t like honesty but I don’t want a person to tell me what I want to hear or soften it up for me. Give it to me straight. The way I hand it out is the way I at least should expect to receive.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
11:11 am

Leggs, I am wildly raising my hand to be the first to say that I have felt the sting and strain of failing to communicate. And I am talking very recent happenings.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
11:14 am

Thank you Dan. We are doing just fine. With the baby issues, toddler issues, teenage boy issues, husband issues, April 15 approaching tax issues…I have been a little busy living.

Yep sometimes life gets in the way of blogging. LOL

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
11:14 am

Raqi – Bugging me about driving, receiving company and getting a phone. Last night (I just listened), she went on and on and on about the phone she wants. Like I said yesterday, once she have in hand the total amount needed, then we’ll make the move. Honestly I can get her one by adding to my plan and probably free as I get all my phones free through our corporate discounts. I have to pay the bill of course but not for the device so we’ll see there. On the knucklehead she likes (for now), I just listened. She said she’s going to bring him to church Easter Sunday. She told me she forewarned him about “her mama”…lol She said I told him come straight unless you want it from the left. I love it.

kimmie

April 13th, 2011
11:17 am

Dan – Maturing is growth, in my opinion.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
11:19 am

The man that loves you loves you even when he can’t stand you – and vice versa.

Dan, that is true however being able to stand me runs neck-in-neck with loving me. My husband told me once that love is what motivated him to make a home with me and like keeps him coming back to this home to me every day.

There are many couples that separate and/or divorce and proclaim to still love each other. However their dislike for each others’ ways and habits is what drove them apart. They can’t stand to live with each other. I want my husband to always love me, but I want him to continue to like me just the same.

royally_chic

April 13th, 2011
11:20 am

@WiseDiva Hey chica! It’s been quite a while…it’s good to see you’re still holding MisAdventures down after all these years….I believe you started in 2005-06?! Wow!

As for the topic, I believe it comes down to love languages Men and women have totally different love languages. Now that I’m married I’ve found that when I speak to my husband in terms that he understands or use analogies that he can relate to, it opens the door to a well balanced dialogue. It’s about meeting your significant other where they are by speaking in their “love language.” It’s about making him feel comfortable enough to communicate his feelings/opinions on a variety of subjects without being manipulated into communicating only what YOU would like to hear.

Most times, women that are constantly seeking validation from their significant other will never be satisfied with the truth or any variation of it They only want to hear what they’ve been led to believe is an appropriate expression of love. Love never forces, it is intelligent and only brings you what you need-Deepak Chopra

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 13th, 2011
11:23 am

@Kimmie

You right

@Raqi

Yeah, I know it does

Blackfoote

April 13th, 2011
11:24 am

Thanks Leggs, Celisea this is nothing new about mothers being selfish and taking their childrens lives but good gosh where can their minds be at those critical moments. Oh yeah she may have tried talking to her husband (our topic today) but now all he will have is a 10 year old scarred child to raise. If she did try talking with him I then place blame on him too.

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
11:24 am

Good to read you, as always, Raqi V! Although I understand where you’re coming from, with all that’s on your plate suggests this wouldn’t necesaarily be a good time to “clam up.” :wink:

@Celisea ~ you’re right, she was not a mother! Nothing can make me harm/kill my child. Especially not another human being.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
11:26 am

LOL Celisea. I can relate. Cars, money, girls. I can relate.

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 13th, 2011
11:29 am

@Raqi

I was talking about the life/blogging.

As for the love of habits, ways, and such; those are things you do, not who you are.

I don’t have to like your “ways” or “habits” and can still like and love you (the nebulous you of course, lest there be any confusion).

I think that’s what chicks don’t get about guys.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
11:31 am

Leggs, I know but it gets so frustrating sometimes. I just like many things get on my nerves at one time and then I want to blow up. The hub gets talked to unfriendly solely when it’s a combination of matters that has me upset.

I think because he is my equal I tend to let it out at him instead of the kids when I should have just talked to him from the jump.

kimmie

April 13th, 2011
11:31 am

Delivery goes a long way in communication, in my opinion. You don’t have to be dishonest, beat around the bush or sugarcoat. But I expect anyone that I’m in a loving relationship with to be sensitive of my feelings and the situation. I don’t expect them to talk to me like a thug in the street. Home is where I should have a soft place to land.

It’s like a doctor. Some may be described as having a good “bedside” manner, where others do not. If your diagnosis is cancer or heart disease or whatever, no amount of sugarcoating is going to chance the truth. But how the doctor delivers the news goes a long way in how it’s recieved. A positive attitude is going to be needed to face the fight ahead and promote a healing atmosphere.

Talking to someone harsh and crude that you’re in a relationship with is not mature behavior to me. “I’m just giving it to you straight, telling you the truth” is a copout, again in my opinion. If you really want to effectively communicate something to someone you claim to love, the crudeness really isn’t necessary. Shows no grace or class. Be honest, but kind.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
11:38 am

Dan – (the nebulous you of course, lest there be any confusion).

Boy stop…lol

Raqi – As Leggs would say “yes indeedy” :)

Leggs/Blackfoote – Exactly. Just plain ole selfish.

Blackfoote

April 13th, 2011
11:38 am

“There are many couples that separate and/or divorce and proclaim to still love each other. However their dislike for each others’ ways and habits is what drove them apart.”

Hello Raqi V hope your family is doing well. This statement you made was my fall and fault.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
11:40 am

Dan, I don’t expect my hub to like everything about me but I do know that the snowballing of undesirable ways and habits will drive a person away. Like I stated earlier there are couples that love each other but are separated by one of the other’s spending habits.

Quirks and whatever are just the little things we get used to and learn to live with. But the continuance to do things that put a strain on the household and the relationship, and the failure to consider and meet on another’s needs may not cause a loss of love but will drive a wedge between two people.

One of my sistahs, every time we talk now it seems that she makes the same statement about her husband. “Why does he keep doing that?” and I know that woman loves that man. But something he is doing is wearing her thin in the like department. She has said she can honestly live without that he does. She still loves him but he is possibly driving her to live without him.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
11:41 am

Blackfoote??? – This statement you made was my fall and fault.

Did you say this? Very commendable. You tell your honey this? Or is this in retrospect.

Simple Man!!!!!

April 13th, 2011
11:45 am

Mornig Peeps!!! Busy at the office and lisenting to the radio as I lurk and I just heard that there are 40 million Platonic marriages in the US today….Can’t imagine 40 million couples married adn not having sex….. OK back to work….

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 13th, 2011
11:47 am

@Kimmie

Where did “crude” “thug” or “in the street” come from?

Nobody has said anything like that.

However, the young lady that stated “in terms he can understand” would definitely be the single rudest statement of the day. “Terms he can understand?” Really?

I think it communication come down to intent. If you feel like you need to use “terms that I can understand” or I get to obfuscating in “considering your feelings” then we are not communicating on the same level at all.

That’s more condescending then any way [I] could say [it].

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
11:47 am

But I expect anyone that I’m in a loving relationship with to be sensitive of my feelings and the situation.

kimmie, and to respect me. Many times the way we approach does not show respect for and to our significant other. Sometimes we only focus on our stance at the time don’t say things as we should.

No don’t coddle me, but don’t disrespect me either. My feeling and needs matter just as much as his.

Blackfoote

April 13th, 2011
11:48 am

Retrospect Celisea it was over a long time ago. I wish I had the blog back then but in 92 it didn’t exist.

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 13th, 2011
11:52 am

@Raqi

I’m sure your sistah has asked him why he does that? If his explanation was not to her liking, that’s one thing. If he didn’t feel the need to provide one, another? An in yet another issue, if she hasn’t asked him about it.

My thing has always been accepting people for who they are. I can not like what you do for any number of reasons, but I know that’s what you do, and thusly I limit my interactions with you based on that.

And then, at a certain point, humility should kick in and people realize that (gasp!) not everyone – even the person you love/loves you – likes everything you do. But they accept you for who you are.

kimmie

April 13th, 2011
11:54 am

Dan – I was making a statement in general. Don’t take it personal, unless you see yourself in that post! :)

The truth can be handled. But I expect to be shown respect. I’ve had “the truth” shouted at me, cursed at me, and said in a condescending way. That’s not how I expect to be communicated to by a person that professes to care about me. I don’t talk to people that way, even if I’m angry.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
11:55 am

Blackfoote – Retrospect Celisea it was over a long time ago. I wish I had the blog back then but in 92 it didn’t exist.

Gotcha Don’t we all wish the blog existed…in the past…LOL

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
11:56 am

“Terms he can understand?”

Dan, I agree. I feel that statement is belittling to any man, or woman for that matter. It’s clearly implies that the person saying it feels superior to their mate talks down to them.

My husband and I are two adults and we communicate accordingly. And respectfully.

And I too agree with it “terms he/her can understand” that shows severe incompatibility.

kimmie

April 13th, 2011
12:02 pm

Taking half day today

Be easy!

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 13th, 2011
12:03 pm

@Kimmie

I didn’t.

I was just wonder how you went sooooo far left with anything that got said.

MC Hammock

April 13th, 2011
12:11 pm

@Simple…40 MILLION platonic marriages???? I’m like you. Even if it were true, why would you admit this? Makes me nervous that it could end up like that…..

Reggie

April 13th, 2011
12:15 pm

Why, why, WHY would a marriage (if thet’s what they want to call it) be platonic? Just end it and be done with it. I’ll be that over 75% of those people have s “relief pitcher” on the side. That’s just plain WRONG!

MC Hammock

April 13th, 2011
12:18 pm

I’ll bet they aren’t “communicating” with each other in a respectful manner. Yeah….that’s the ticket…..

Lord Velonese

April 13th, 2011
12:21 pm

I can talk about anything except for Sports or sports players or Celebs, I have a very blunt opinion about those that Fanatics have wanted to get violent at me over it. In which case those fanatics are the mother of all stupid. (Shruggs)

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
12:25 pm

Why, why, WHY would a marriage (if thet’s what they want to call it) be platonic?

Exactly REggie

Willie Dynamite

April 13th, 2011
12:41 pm

Afternoon All,

I agree with most that communicaton is the heartbeat of a relationship. As the relationship grows from like to love to forever so does your communication styles. Your job whether you like it or not will be to adjust to those changing conditions. Evre notice how sometimes in the beginning you talked about any and everything. Then once you get to a point you can say in a 10 min conversation all the things that need to be said. The individual want and desire to accept and/or compromise your stance on how some things are communicated will determine your relationships longevity. Granted Men and women are diff but you do have to find a way to communicate your thoughts and feelings crystal clear (compromising in your style) is a part of it for most.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 13th, 2011
12:43 pm

The way I hand it out is the way I at least should expect to receive.
Celisea I agree 100. Of course that’s where the disconnect is alot of times though. People can dish it out, but they can’t take it.

Delivery goes a long way in communication, in my opinion.
Absolutely. Saying something (”Telling the truth”) is only one part of communication. The other part is whether or not the intended recipient received what was said. If they have, then they must also be able to respond in a way that you can receive. If any of these things are missing, then you aren’t successfully communicating, you’re just saying words.

Blackfoote

April 13th, 2011
12:43 pm

Oh Celisea Happy Birthday to your sweet sixteen. I have fantasized to know what it’s like to have a daughter many times.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
12:48 pm

Blackfoote – Oh Celisea Happy Birthday to your sweet sixteen. I have fantasized to know what it’s like to have a daughter many times.

Many thanks. Do you have any kids…at all? Oh man, I’m so loving my kid. I ain’t exactly happy about all of her growing pains but hey somebody dealt with mine :) It ain’t over yet, you may still have that daughter some day.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
12:52 pm

Dreams – Of course that’s where the disconnect is alot of times though. People can dish it out, but they can’t take it.

I agree.

Blackfoote

April 13th, 2011
12:52 pm

Son 25 this year. I don’t know my days are done in that dept.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
12:59 pm

Blackfoote – Wow, okay. I can’t wait until she’s grown, married and gone :) I gotta be honest, I ain’t feeling another kid AT ALL. I won’t say I won’t have another but ummm, let’s just say Imma have to truly be feeling some kind of way to do that again.

Poppa Grande

April 13th, 2011
1:04 pm

Leggs

Thank you for the birthday shoutout :grin:

Fion

April 13th, 2011
1:06 pm

“let’s just say Imma have to truly be feeling some kind of way to do that again.”

ERRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! needle scratches!!!!!!!

Hold the phone. Celisea, how old are you?????? to even be thinking about it?…….That means…….

Oh lawd!!!!!! I’ve fallen for a Baby!!!!!!!!

Blackfoote

April 13th, 2011
1:07 pm

He will play basketball in Iasi Romania this season. He’s a big man 7′ footer. He wants to get more experience before going to NBA.

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
1:14 pm

“I just like many things get on my nerves at one time and then I want to blow up.”

↑ @Raqi ~ then it’s time for you to use the “Key of Knowledge.” Do not internalize all that’s bothering you until you “pop off” at the mouth because your nerves are ratt*led. That which you can let “wash down your back” do so. That which you can’t, pick them off as they occur. Don’t let them grow until there’s heated conversations about everything other than what’s really at hand. You know what to do. As Nike so eloquently states, Just Do It! :wink: {{muah}}

@Celisea ~ you are funny!

@PoppaG ~ you are welcome. Hope you have a grand day!!!

Dan - Simply....Superior

April 13th, 2011
1:15 pm

@Dreams

Of course they received what was said, it was spoken out loud. Now (sematically) how it was received is a larger part of it too.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
1:16 pm

Fion – Oh lawd!!!!!! I’ve fallen for a Baby!!!!!!!!

I’m not a baby but I can still reproduce. Does that help?

Blackfoote – That’s fantab…Heading to the NBA huh? Gone head with his bad self. I think that’s grand.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
1:18 pm

Fion – ERRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! needle scratches!!!!!!!

Okay, this was funny

Leggs – Girl, I know you feel me. Ut uh, no way. Mess around and oops up on another baby. Fion scratching needles and stuff but that’s something to seriously think about as long as you can make one. You know?

Fion

April 13th, 2011
1:20 pm

@Celisea
“I’m not a baby but I can still reproduce. Does that help? ”

yeah…….but I still have to go lay down. The room is spinnin’.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
1:23 pm

Fion – yeah…….but I still have to go lay down. The room is spinnin’.

Alright, you got me laughing out loud at my desk. Cut out the dramatics. How old do you think I am?

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
1:24 pm

@Fion ~ are you trying to “rock the cradle” or are you trying to give her a cradle???

Fion

April 13th, 2011
1:25 pm

I really don’t know. I had assumed…….38. You know they say about assume, but for real I really don’t know.

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
1:26 pm

@Celisea ~ I’m over here thinking like a little like you. I love my child dearly, but not enough to give her a sibling. Hell, not even enough to give her a gerbil (which she wants)!

Blackfoote

April 13th, 2011
1:26 pm

LOL…..@Leggs
What about you Leggs do you have any more cradles on order for you?

Sassy Me...Exhaling :-)

April 13th, 2011
1:27 pm

Okay I just read an article about TSA frisking a 6 year old…a six year old!!

Was that even necessary? I understand that we are in a heightened security age since the 911 attacks but how far is too far when it comes to frisking people?!

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
1:27 pm

Fion – Whew, I thought you was gonna take me waaaay back. Naw not that number but you’re not too far off.

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
1:30 pm

@Blackfoote ~ go wash your mouth out with soap! I ain’t birthing no mo babies! At my age, why would I even let that cross my mind? I sealed my wiring long time ago!

Blackfoote

April 13th, 2011
1:32 pm

Yeah Sassy the oldest I’ve heard them frisking is a 91 year old lady now a 6 year old. Next it will be newborns…..LOL

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
1:34 pm

Leggs – I sealed my wiring long time ago!

I haven’t but I ain’t birthing no mo babies either

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
1:34 pm

@SassyMe ~ it was all over the news. The little girl was so polite and mannerable. But, she kept saying she “wanted to be excused” from the pat down. She didn’t understand what she had done. I understand the comment her parents made this morning. How do you tell your child that grownups are not suppose to touch you/pat you in certain places. That it’s “bad,” only to ten have a security officer do exactly that. The girl started crying because she thought she did something wrong.

Blackfoote

April 13th, 2011
1:37 pm

LOL……@Leggs
“go wash your mouth out with soap!”
My grandmom took care of that a long time ago there you go bringing back the memories some I would rather forget…..LOL

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
1:38 pm

@Blackfoote ~ :lol: Cute!

Sassy Me...Exhaling :-)

April 13th, 2011
1:38 pm

Leggs that is too sad and unfortunate. It definietly sends mixed messaged to children. Now this little girl may have developed a fear of flying because of that. That can be a very traumatic for a child and even moreso because she thought it was her fault.

Blackfoote they probably already have tried to scan a newborn at the rate they’re going…tsk tsk tsk..

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
1:38 pm

Leggs – @Celisea ~ I’m over here thinking like a little like you. I love my child dearly, but not enough to give her a sibling. Hell, not even enough to give her a gerbil (which she wants)!

Every now and then she’ll make reference to being an only child and wishing for sibs but that’s neither here nor there to me. Not a rodent. Ut uh, heck no, no way. Gold fish or a dog…take her pick

Sassy Me...Exhaling :-)

April 13th, 2011
1:39 pm

should’ve been *definitely* but y’all get the jist..

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
1:43 pm

Exactly ~ no freaking rodents! Get a cat…they take care of themselves. You only need to do 3 things (1) feed them, (2) yearly vet visits, and (3) stroke the top of their heads every so often.

I did ask if she wanted a bro or sis up to about age 7. She said no. I always got the same 2 answers. (1) she would have to share her toys, and (2) she would have to share her mommy! That was so sweet. I stopped asking because I knew the answers would change as she got older. I opted to stick with the sweet one (lol)!!

Blackfoote

April 13th, 2011
1:47 pm

Leggs are you trying to envoke Stanley Q……LOL

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
1:48 pm

Naturally, I thought of him, Blackfoote. Perhaps he won’t surface since the convo was geared toward a pet for a child (not a grownup). Hopefully, he sees the difference (LOLOL).

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
1:50 pm

Celisea and Leggs, once they have reach teen years sibling free let it stay that way. LOL

My womb must have felt obligated to give Liz someone to grow up with being that her other brothers are 20 and 14 years older than her.

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
1:55 pm

Yes indeedy, Raqi V, yes indeedy! I’m cracking up. You are right, Celisea!!!

Fion

April 13th, 2011
1:58 pm

At some point you just have to shut the factory down. As a Guy, why have a baby at 60, or some other crazy (Ol’azz) age. i just don’t get it.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
2:07 pm

LOL Fion. I am in no way closed for my hub’s business because I likes the way he handles his business. But that department (the baby making depot) of the establishment has been officially terminated.

Fion

April 13th, 2011
2:11 pm

To that extent I agree, if you’re not having children, why get married. If you know Procreation is not going to be part of the picture, love your SO and be happy. Why not.

just sayin

Fion

April 13th, 2011
2:15 pm

Caveat , now I’m talk grown folk who by and lagre are shootin’ blanks anyhow!!!!

Yeah, i said it!!!! Now what!!!!! DO SUMTHIN!!!!!

Fion

April 13th, 2011
2:17 pm

Male and Female…..

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
2:17 pm

if you’re not having children, why get married

Really Fion? When I married my husband having more kids was not in my plans. He and I married because we want a life together as husband and wife. The ultimate commitment.

I think having the grandson over so much a while back got his paternal wheels turning. He loves being a granddad so he wanted some of his own. LOL I guess.

Fion

April 13th, 2011
2:21 pm

yeah Raqi, but you were young enough to make that plausible. If you are in your 20’s 30’s
you should marry because it’s plausible for you have kids.

As you mature and get older its a different question.

DidItOnThem

April 13th, 2011
2:21 pm

Is a 45 yr old man wanting to just get started having kids strange?
To be 50 with a five yr old>>>weird

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
2:25 pm

Raqi/Leggs – Celisea and Leggs, once they have reach teen years sibling free let it stay that way. LOL

Amen and Amen

Fion – You ain’t shacking up are you? I know you ain’t procreating and you just said no babies no marriage….you shaking up?

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
2:25 pm

Let me ask you guys this: Any of you have an opinion on the Muslim lady missing. Specifically, her husband showing her picture in Muslim garb and w/o saying he wouldn’t normally show this to the public because it’s against their religion. Perhaps, I’m reading too much into it, but thought it would have had more strength if he said something along the lines of “I’m showing her w/o her traditional garb in the hopes that if’s she’s not wearing it she may be recognized.” I don’t know. Something’s not right with the chain of events.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
2:26 pm

you should marry because it’s plausible for you have kids

And for no other reason, Fion? So you see marriage as just a means to bring kids into the world? Other than that marriage has no honor in your opinion?

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 13th, 2011
2:26 pm

Okay, since we’re on the baby talk… maybe some of you blog parents can help me out here…

Question: Is there any correlation between a woman’s level of PMS crazy and her level of hormone-induced preggers crazy? Is preggers crazy > PMS crazy? And if so, by how much? Trying to gauge whether or not I’d be able to survive for 9 months my own d@mn self… :lol:

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
2:27 pm

@Fion ~ your post reminded me of Tony Randall. Why the heck have a child and your 78 or maybe he was 80 years of age. Why! The fact he could even ejaculate was impressive. Ok, I take the last comment back! Not really.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
2:30 pm

DIDITONTHEM – Is a 45 yr old man wanting to just get started having kids strange? To be 50 with a five yr old>>>weird

Heck yeah. My oldest brother is 12 years older than me and he’s got a 12 year old….huh? I get irked everytime he’s visiting the city. He can’t seem to grasp how “unnatural” that looks.

Fion

April 13th, 2011
2:31 pm

@Celisea
“Fion – You ain’t shacking up are you? I know you ain’t procreating and you just said no babies no marriage….you shaking up?”

Will you stop blowin cigarette smoke in my face. And please turn that Lamp off!!!!

No, I’m not shackin’

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
2:33 pm

Swiss from my experience and what I’ve been told about the roller coaster ride I took my kid’s dad on, ummm not the same crazy. Even before I knew I was pregnant he said “you must be pregnant because your emotions are ALL OVER THE PLACE.” Guess what? I was…VERY pregnant at that.

Leggs – I think there’s something wrong with that picture. I can’t say for certain I believe her husband had something to do with it but something ain’t right and ain’t adding up.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
2:34 pm

Fion – Will you stop blowin cigarette smoke in my face. And please turn that Lamp off!!!!

Okay okay, my bad :)

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
2:36 pm

Leggs, him showing her exposed says a lot. Those that even practice the covering up of the women are very strict when it comes to their religion. Reading your comment I just assume what you said he should have said is why he actually showed the picture.

And the one thing about certain sects of people, getting rid of a wife (that goes against “whatever”) is like throwing out trash for them. They will do it and go back to their home country where it is accepted to avoid being governed under the US laws. He stayed here so I think she may just have gone missing by some other evil means.

DidItOnThem

April 13th, 2011
2:36 pm

@Celisea- how old is your brother?

The way my friend has explained it, it sounds logical but I be damned. You 60 with a ten yr old, people will think you a grand-dad…wtf?

Purple Rain

April 13th, 2011
2:37 pm

I am setting up a Flicker account so you all can see Dante!

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
2:38 pm

Swiss, no it’s different. My PMS crazy makes me ornery, but my preggers overload made me overly girly sensitive and physically sick.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 13th, 2011
2:38 pm

“Even before I knew I was pregnant he said “you must be pregnant because your emotions are ALL OVER THE PLACE.” Guess what? I was…VERY pregnant at that.”

Hmmm… maybe I need to stop by the drug store on the way home…

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
2:40 pm

Didit, I will be 52 and my hub 53 when our son turns 10. I know many people will think we are the grandparents. My grandson turns 5 this year.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
2:41 pm

DIDITONTHEM – @Celisea- how old is your brother?

Well, let’s see. If I tell that then I’ll reveal my exact age :) He’s not 60 but he’s too old for a young girl like that. He’s been asked on more than one occasion if that was his granddaughter. Then her tail is fast as I don’t know what. That’s another thing. I have to leave because I want to take a switch to her with that grown mouth. Of course it’s all cute to him. I have NO PROBLEM AT ALL TELLING HER at granny’s house children stay in their place.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
2:43 pm

Swiss, no it’s different. My PMS crazy makes me ornery, but my preggers overload made me overly girly sensitive and physically sick.

Cosign

Swiss – You have been warned :)

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
2:43 pm

Celisea, didn’t I read one day where you said you are very close to my age? I think that was you. Or was that BlackMagic?

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
2:44 pm

Raqi – Celisea, didn’t I read one day where you said you are very close to my age? I think that was you

Yes ma’am that was me.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
2:44 pm

BlackMagic is a youngin…

want to know

April 13th, 2011
2:51 pm

Swiss, Is your wife pregnant?

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 13th, 2011
2:56 pm

Not that I know of — though it’s possible. Based on the Crazy-Meter over the weekend, if Aunt Flo doesn’t visit in the next day or two, then I’d say there’s a good chance… ;-) :lol:

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
2:56 pm

BlackMagic is a youngin…

Whatchu saying? So am I!!!! LOL

Seriously though I love being 40+. Love, love, love it. I am not to fond of the extra stretching I have to do every morning to get going but I am so far loving my 40s.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
2:57 pm

Swiss, does she hate you hate any extra or love you any more than usual?

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 13th, 2011
2:59 pm

“Swiss, does she hate you hate any extra or love you any more than usual?”

Raqi — We went back & forth to/from both extremes a few times in very short order… :lol:

Willie Dynamite

April 13th, 2011
3:02 pm

We went back & forth to/from both extremes a few times in very short order

Swiss – Sounds bout right, you better go ahead and stop by the drug store.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
3:02 pm

Raqi – I there with you on LOVING where 40+ takes you. No drama, finances not bad, kid about grown, heck I’m grown and can be grown and can do grown things without the worry I had a few years back. Just SUCH a nice view from this window.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
3:03 pm

What Celisea said about her guy when she got pregnant is a great example of communication.

Realizing with something is off or different shows that you are paying attention and in-tune with each other.

My hub most times know when it time for Aunt Flow just by knowing when it’s about that time. He will not know once it starts again but I bet it will not take him long to get back in step with it.

I know of two women that went months, I mean up until they started to show, and their S/O had no clue they were pregnant. I mean how do miss your wife and/or live-in not having a ● for 4 months?

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
3:04 pm

Swiss, she is probably just PMSing then. But I could very well be wrong.

For Real

April 13th, 2011
3:06 pm

Lil Celisea: Uncle For Real?

For Real: Yes baby girl.

Lil Celisea: You know what I want for my birthday?

For Real: (Reaching for his credit card)…

Lil Celisea: No, not this time Uncle For Real. I want a brother or sister.

For Real: Well, you know your mom has said she is not having anymore kids.

Lil Celisea: I know but I want really, really, really baddddddddd!

For Real: Okay baby girl, hand me that peach schnapps and you go to yo Aunt Gussie’s house and Unc gon see what he can do for you. CELISEA!!!! Zipppppppppppppppp!!! We need to talk about baby girl’s birthday gift!!!!

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
3:08 pm

kid about grown

Celisea, other than that ^ (LOL) I am feeling you. It’s just a whole new free world from when I was in my twenties and early thirties.

Not caring what other people think about me when it’s not warranted. Having my own style and way of thinking. Being wholely in-touch with my feminine and free of past inhibitions. I love it.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
3:09 pm

Raqi – Your 3:03 is spot on. Most men in tune with their women, just knows or have an inkling. There’s something sexy about knowing your spouse/mate/partner, what they like, what makes ‘em tick, when something is off, when you’ve hit the ball out of the park. Not saying guessing games but having communicated so much so that you know them and what makes them tick. Aaaaand because you know them and when something is not quite right you can zero in on.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 13th, 2011
3:10 pm

“Most men in tune with their women, just knows or have an inkling.”

C — Well, it’s hard to miss getting yelled at for no reason around the same time every month… :lol:

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
3:13 pm

Not caring what other people think about me when it’s not warranted. Having my own style and way of thinking. Being wholely in-touch with my feminine and free of past inhibitions. I love it.

Absolutely. I’m even more comfortable being “in touch” in front of company when I wouldn’t have years back. Just loving all of it. That took some stretching…I ain’t gon lie but I have arrived :) Definitely not caring what others think. Even though that’s not something I’ve too much stumbled over.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
3:14 pm

FOR REAL – You are a nut.

Swiss – Well I guess getting yelled at the 5th of every month would be a dead ringer huh?

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
3:16 pm

Celisea, exactly. And sexy.

How two people can sleep together, sex each other, live in the closest of quarters and be so disconnected I just don’t get.

You learn each other’s routine, highs and lows, ins and outs when you are connected and pay attention. And yep you can zero in on that off time.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
3:19 pm

LOL Swiss.

But you know despite popular belief not all women get b!tchy when she’s PMSing.

One of my sistahs get fatigued and would rather sleep than anything else during that time.

Another one has absolutely no noticeable signs other than her complaining about water weight.

For Real

April 13th, 2011
3:21 pm

“Well, it’s hard to miss getting yelled at for no reason around the same time every month” – Women call that communication. If your wife is preggo I agree with Raqi. She will either be overly loving and caring or everything will make her sad.

Swiss: Hey baby I just cleaned the bathroom, took out the garbage and started dinner.

Mrs. Swiss: Mitty Fitty if you blink one mo time I’m gonna put my foot so far up your azz you will be able to taste the uric acid that’s causing my gout!!!!!!!!

SexyCool

April 13th, 2011
3:22 pm

The Muslim dude killed his wife. That is all.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
3:23 pm

Say it ain’t so.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 13th, 2011
3:25 pm

“But you know despite popular belief not all women get b!tchy when she’s PMSing.”

Raqi — Oh yes, I know… Unfortunately, Mrs. Swiss is one of those who does… :lol:

4 Real — You been spying on me, dude? That’s about how it went down… :lol:

SexyCool

April 13th, 2011
3:25 pm

That’s the conclusion of the SexyCool Inch-High Private Eye Detective Agency…that specializes in going with her gut and drawing conclusions about criminal activity.

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
3:27 pm

@SexyC ~ when it comes to things like this, you and I tend to think along the same lines. His tearful plea was a bit off.

SexyCool

April 13th, 2011
3:28 pm

How many Muslim dudes do you know that go on hunting trips?

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
3:30 pm

Leggs – Have you talked to MMEELLOO? He’s not emailed me in a minute.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
3:32 pm

I don’t think the Muslim guy did it but I guess not paying attention it being said he went hunting means I have not been paying much attention to that news report. LOL

Now the guy that was shot outside of the daycare…I told the hub day one that the wife did it. When it came out that the suspect knows the wife that confirmed it.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 13th, 2011
3:32 pm

Leggs — Do you & The Zulu work at the same office?

For Real

April 13th, 2011
3:32 pm

He is not acting like fundamental muslin dude. When they kill they believe it to a righteous killing in the eyes of Allah.

Swiss: Next the Mrs. start acting crazy, tell her you are going to go fundamental on her azz. Then duck and run. You can stay at my crib for a couple of days but you can’t tell her where you are. I don’t need no crazy island lady putting the roots on me.

For Real

April 13th, 2011
3:34 pm

Leggs & The Zulu sounds like a cop show.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
3:35 pm

Have any of you been watching the Apprentice? I’m I the only one that was glad to see Dionne Warwick get fired? She was a cancer to A.S.A.P. And Gary Busey is a whack job.

Willie Dynamite

April 13th, 2011
3:35 pm

SC – I dont know just yet. Dude quite possibly was behind it. The pic that was released and the hunting trip (yeah right) mysteriously canceled sounds hella fishy. Only thing that has reasonable doubt is the timeline. If he did it he was very very very concise. The timeline his kids gave was pretty short. He wouldv’e had to kill and dispose of the body and evidence mighty quickly.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 13th, 2011
3:35 pm

“I don’t need no crazy island lady putting the roots on me.”

4 Real — Yeah, that voodoo is no joke… :lol:

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 13th, 2011
3:36 pm

“Leggs & The Zulu sounds like a cop show.”

Or a p0rno.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
3:36 pm

ForReal, that’s why I said if he did it he can just go back home where it’s acceptable. They don’t think much of woman anyway and getting rid of their woman is no big deal.

SexyCool

April 13th, 2011
3:37 pm

I’m thinking the kids have it wrong on the time. Time gets misjudged all the time. And to a kid, two hours can seem like ten minutes when they’re distracted.

Willie Dynamite

April 13th, 2011
3:39 pm

Raqi – That is a very stereotypical and offensive response.

SexyCool

April 13th, 2011
3:39 pm

Hey Rock!

TheDude and I have been watching. The ratings makers are the ones that have longevity. NeNe is an Amazon…or….all them other chicks are midgets…er, um…little people.

Gary Bussey is ratings platinum!

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
3:40 pm

I won’t say concretely he did it but something is amiss

cba

April 13th, 2011
3:40 pm

When I first heard about the story, I also had the husband guilty. This is getting alittle complicated.
Now we know about a text and she said she was throwing the phone out the window….hmmmm.
When they found her car, IT WAS LOCKED, nothing suspicious was found. So far, no indication she made it to Wal-mart. To be continued…….

PS I hope she just got fed up and went ghost

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
3:41 pm

cba – Now we know about a text and she said she was throwing the phone out the window….hmmmm.

Yeah, that piece tripped me out.

Willie Dynamite

April 13th, 2011
3:43 pm

SC – True about the time and kids. I’m sure the cops will scrutinize the phone records. Its easy to find out what area (based on Towers used) he/she was in during the times they did all that texting back and forth. You can best believe them saying he is not a suspect tho is BS.

For Real

April 13th, 2011
3:43 pm

Doorbell rings.

The Zulu: Who is it that calls upon The Zulu?

Leggs: It is I Leggs from cross yonder.

The Zulu: I have no idea what you just said.

Leggs: Make no mind. I just came to borrow a cup of hot sauce.

The Zulu: Again, I do not know of what you speak but I do know black people keeps hot sauce tho.

Leggs: Oh Zulu you so crazy. Oops my skirt seems to have fallen around my ankles and I forgot to put on some panties.

The Zulu: Bong Chica Bong Bong…. afterward, it’s cow nuts and goat cheese.

SexyCool

April 13th, 2011
3:44 pm

The way I see it…buddy needs to stop talking and lawyer up….which is probably some advice that he got that made him back out of the interview with ABC.

SexyCool

April 13th, 2011
3:45 pm

Exactly, WillieD. Them saying that is standard operations. He’s more likely to slip up if he’s lulled into thinking they’re not looking at him. But…buddy should know…his ass is THE prime suspect.

For Real

April 13th, 2011
3:46 pm

“I won’t say concretely he did it but something is amiss” – Fion, you gon have to take back Celisea’s detective badge.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
3:46 pm

You just gotta love the blog. Even though the attendance get low on here, don’t you just love how folks “jump in” as the topic change…meaning folks are lurking all day :)

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
3:47 pm

WillieD, which statement are you speaking of?

Sassy Me...Exhaling :-)

April 13th, 2011
3:47 pm

which is probably some advice that he got that made him back out of the interview with ABC.

Where can I read this story?

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
3:47 pm

For Real – You better back off of me man. I just didn’t want to outright pin on him. Something amiss could me she was abducted, ran over, etc.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 13th, 2011
3:48 pm

“You can best believe them saying he is not a suspect tho is BS.”

Willie D — It’s all semantics. He’s not a suspect. He’s the suspect. :lol:

For Real

April 13th, 2011
3:49 pm

Willie: Ole boy is using “If I Would Have Done It” as play-by-play. Next you will see him at a black club trying to clear his mind.

SexyCool

April 13th, 2011
3:50 pm

Sass…they mention it in the article on the ajc… http://www.ajc.com/news/sheriff-doesnt-think-bartow-906011.html

but I was watching GMA this morning when they were reporting on it.

The whole thing has that *Susan Smith* feel to me.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
3:50 pm

Hey SexyCool. My hub thinks NeNe is going to win. He actually likes her grownupness on the show as well as Marlee Matlin. Those are two he is hoping to go against each other in the finale. I hope it be NeNe and John Rich.

cba

April 13th, 2011
3:50 pm

Celisea, my self-imposed rule is, no posts before 2:00pm :-)

Willie Dynamite

April 13th, 2011
3:51 pm

Raqi – 3:36, thats a very broad sweeping accusation you leveled on milions and millions of Muslim Men. To equate them not thinking highly of women to being able to throw them out with the trash and killing being no big deal is a huge stretch.

Willie Dynamite

April 13th, 2011
3:52 pm

4Real- naww the next photo-op will be at his local mosque.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
3:52 pm

cba – Celisea, my self-imposed rule is, no posts before 2:00pm

Why no posts before 2?

For Real

April 13th, 2011
3:53 pm

Celisea: You better back off of me man.

For Real: Hey look, I’m just trying to make your daughter birthday wish come true. Here hold these.. (cough, cough) do you feel something?

SexyCool

April 13th, 2011
3:54 pm

I like NeNe for the win as well. The Donald seems to really like her….and MikeJanLatoya.

I watched a few minutes of The Braxton’s show last night…I’m thinking this show is not going to win them any new fans. What I saw was not a good representation.

I also watched some of Sinbad’s show. It was funny in parts, but was a forced funny. I like his standup…but it was like watching the parts of his life in between the punch lines…not quite as funny.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
3:57 pm

I worked with a couple of Muslim men for years. Those born and raised overseas in the strict Muslim environment think very little of woman. And yes they get passes on get rid of one that get out of line in their country.

If you are claiming Muslim I am sorry to offend you but honestly I am not talking about the Bruslims that you see selling bean pies in the WestEnd. I am talking you true Middle Eastern Muslims.

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
3:58 pm

@Celisea ~ he hasn’t emailed me either. Let’s send out an S.O.S. Maybe he’ll see the smoke signals from his village (if he’s still there).

@swiss ~ no, we don’t work together. I don’t work with anyone from the blog (that I know of).

EXACTLY. He’s probably looking funny to a lot of viewers and that’s why his attorney is speaking for him.

@Raqi V ~ I watch Apprentice and I must give LaToya props. She’s not confrontational, but she kept a cool head while Ne Ne started bellowing all over the place like one of Me.lo’s town goats!

For Real

April 13th, 2011
4:00 pm

News: Mr. Muslim, what is your take on the SexyCool Inch-High Private Eye Detective Agency coming out saying you kilt your wife?

Mr. Muslim: Look, I did not kill my wife. Now if you don’t mind I would like to go into my local mosque and pray.

Mosque Leader: Hey, Hey, Hey we are not a mosque. We jerk beef here! Go away we don’t want any problems Mr. Muslim. asa lama lakum

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
4:00 pm

MikeJanLatoya – very funny, but not nice, but very funny!

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
4:00 pm

MikeJanLatoya

SexyC, I have to say she lucked up and won this last challenge. She was totally in lala land when asked what her vision/idea was on the challenge. Luckily for her it all seemed to fall in place.

cba

April 13th, 2011
4:00 pm

Celisea, usually the tide have changed direction by then. Usually random topics, people just chewing the fat with other people of the world. Kool ish.

Willie Dynamite

April 13th, 2011
4:01 pm

Raqi – I am nowhere near Muslim or Bruslim. I hear what you are saying but its still a huge stretch.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
4:03 pm

Nigh, Leggs she got lucky. The koala bear and the golden life won it for her. But everytime she was asked what she wanted the vision to be her expression was “daaah”.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
4:03 pm

For Real – Shuddup

cba – Gotcha

Leggs – I with you on sending the S.O.S….I’m going to email him later today.

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
4:03 pm

Also, when abc went to interview him, someone asked the reporters to go away because he was taking a nap. Just sounds weird. Most can’t sleep in a crisis like this one, but to each their own (I guess).

Sassy Me...Exhaling :-)

April 13th, 2011
4:06 pm

Thanks for the link SC…umm yeah how do you “accidentally” get packed for a hunting trip, stop and get last minute supplies and THEEEN remember, “oh this is the wrong weekend”. It’s almost like getting packed for a trip your taking and leaving home a week early. Who forgets a trip they’ve planned? That whole thing sounds jacked up and dude is going dooown.

For Real

April 13th, 2011
4:06 pm

“Most can’t sleep in a crisis like this one, but to each their own (I guess).” – What if he has been up for the past few days, all the while taking care of his kids? Shouldn’t he be tired?

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
4:06 pm

WillieD, I am known to speak out of place at times (ask my husband and friends if you don’t believe me. LOL) but having worked with them I do know women are not held in high regard with them. Not even their own wives and daughters.

For Real

April 13th, 2011
4:08 pm

Raqi: So did you work with ALL the Middle Eastern Muslim men in the world?

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
4:09 pm

Leggs, I have to agree with ForReal. It’s been days since the wife has been missing. The body will shut down on its own after a while when you deprive it of sleep.

And then who’s to say he was really taking a nap. That could have just been his way of avoiding the press. I can imagine that’s a lot to have one you and you get tired of being prodded and questioned.

For Real

April 13th, 2011
4:09 pm

Oh and Raqi, In the words of Ike from the movie Tombstone “I ain’t takin no lip from no bartender”

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
4:11 pm

ForReal, no but the ones I did work with had no qualms about speaking their way and saying that’s the way it is.

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
4:12 pm

@Raqi V ~ I caught the last 30 mins of Apprentice. I only saw from the time Big O Crazy One (Busey) grabbed the Executives to his side. He was wrong, completely wrong the way he tried to “force” them to listen to him then get in the Board room and completely deny it. That man is conniving and he’s playing with all of them (probably even himself).

Anyway, when in the room watching the men on the screen, LaToya didn’t stoop to Ne Ne’s level…that’s all I’m saying.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
4:13 pm

And I know not all of one nation is the all the same, but there are certain things that can be stated about certain places. Heck many countries think some kind of way about American woman and to tell the truth they are correct.

Just like we don’t understand the way of other places they don’t fully understand this place.

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
4:14 pm

@ForReal ~ yep, he should be tired. It’s just funny to hear. You almost always hear “I’ve been up for days on days end. I can’t bear to sleep.” Or “I just haven’t been able to eat a thing.” To hear someone taking a nap, was refreshing and haunting at the same time.

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
4:15 pm

@Raqi ~ I took it as a way to avoid the press!!!!

For Real

April 13th, 2011
4:15 pm

Raqi: “no but the ones I did work with had no qualms about speaking their way and saying that’s the way it is.” – So you took the words of 3 muslim dudes and attributed their words to every single muslim dude in the world? Okay, I got it now.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
4:17 pm

I often wonder about people and their motives. Are you being a snot, just wanting to get a good debate going or always looking for openings to cast or try a shadow.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
4:17 pm

Leggs, Star Jones is the one they better watch. I don’t trust her as far as her flabby arms can fly her.

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
4:18 pm

@ForReal ~ I truly thought you, Dan or Willie D would say she spoke with 3 or 4 Muslim men!!

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
4:18 pm

Celisea, I know when to close the door and walk away. :wink:

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
4:19 pm

Raqi – Celisea, I know when to close the door and walk away

:) Good gir….me too

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
4:19 pm

They’re probably more likely to try a shadow!

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
4:19 pm

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
4:20 pm

Leggs – I agree

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
4:23 pm

Hey, I say call a snot a snot…opps spade I should say

SexyCool

April 13th, 2011
4:24 pm

I find it interesting that she came to this country to marry buddy and now, five kids (and I’m sure with some American cultural influence) later, she’s throwing cell phones out the window.

DreamsMaterialize "Free Me-Lo"

April 13th, 2011
4:24 pm

If Bryant Gumble and Clarence Thomas worked in Saudi Arabia, muslims might think all black people were just like them. That would suck! lol

Willie Dynamite

April 13th, 2011
4:25 pm

Raqi – come on now, you are making a huge sweeping generalization. I understood the point you were trying to make, BUT by throwing an entire Religion/Region/Country into the same boat is unlike you.
I wasn’t and am not trying to debate. I saw the post and thought it was offensive and stereotypical. Quite frankly her responses after that have verified that. I have no problem with Raqi or anyone. I made a comment on what I read.

Purple Rain

April 13th, 2011
4:26 pm

I found out today that I am an idiot. LOL

Purple Rain

April 13th, 2011
4:27 pm

I am all for equality and do not support stereotypes. But I have never ever…ever seen a Muslim out turkey hunting. That is what raised my suspicion after reading the story.

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
4:29 pm

@PR ~ What test did you take that confirmed the end result???

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 13th, 2011
4:29 pm

“I found out today that I am an idiot. “

Well, hell, Purple, we could have told you that a long time ago… ;-) j/k

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
4:29 pm

WD – I for one wasn’t referring to you.

SexyCool

April 13th, 2011
4:30 pm

And of course, you have to know that the standard alibi for wife killers has become the fishing/hunting/hiking/camping trip.

Purple Rain

April 13th, 2011
4:31 pm

Well I was uploading pictures from the camera and I ended up loading ALL of the pictures from the camera onto “flicker” and some family members and freinds got to see some pictures that they were not supposed to see.

Purple Rain

April 13th, 2011
4:31 pm

Swiss, I have been called an idiot quite a few times, but never called myself an idiot until today. LOL

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
4:33 pm

SexyCool, yep along with cheaters. LOL

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
4:34 pm

@Celisea ~ I’m cracking up. Of course you weren’t referring to him!

@PR ~ awwwww….

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
4:35 pm

@SexyC ~ with small children in the wee hours of WINTER!

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 13th, 2011
4:35 pm

Purple — Don’t hold out on us, bro… You got some amateur p0rn to share? :lol:

Purple Rain

April 13th, 2011
4:36 pm

Swiss, I will just say “i’m an idiot” again

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
4:36 pm

the wee hours of a Winter’s night…

Purple Rain

April 13th, 2011
4:37 pm

DId you all read the news about the lady who drove her kids into the river over in New York and I think the 10 year old was the only one to escape the vehicle?

Willie Dynamite

April 13th, 2011
4:37 pm

Celisea – I know you would never call me a snot. No harm no foul.

PR – ALL the pics?

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
4:38 pm

Oh Boy, PR, sounds like you may be the brunt of a few jokes, or nothing will be said just so you can save face….(leave it alone, leave it alone (lol))..

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
4:38 pm

Awwww, I want to see the pics of little Dante.

Leggs – LOLOLOL :)

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
4:38 pm

PurpleR, are you one of those guys that have to be spoken to and given directions in “terms you can understand”?

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
4:39 pm

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
4:39 pm

PurpleR, has you wife given birth? If so Congratulations.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
4:39 pm

terms you can understand”?

ba doomp doomp

Sassy Me...Exhaling :-)

April 13th, 2011
4:40 pm

you have to know that the standard alibi for wife killers has become the fishing/hunting/hiking/camping trip.

It plays out the same way almost all of the time..i.e.Scott Peterson. He claimed he was fishing when his pregnant wife disappeared…whuteva. This guy was trying to give himself an alibi…albeit a bad one at that…

My granny used to say “Unjust don’t prosper” and it sure don’t…

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
4:41 pm

Celisea, what tickles me is we women are forever defending ourselves against the generalizations of these blog menfolk, yet they take issue when I make a statement based on my experience about a sect of people they are not a part of and know nothing about.

Your statement stands true.

Purple Rain

April 13th, 2011
4:41 pm

Raqi, yes our son is here early :)

Leggs, I just got some looks so far.

Willie D, all of the pictures! I thought I picked the ones I did not want to load to the site but it loaded them all.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
4:45 pm

“Unjust don’t prosper”

agreed

Raqi – 4:41….exactly and as usual….

Have a good one blog folks

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
4:45 pm

Another case of technology getting a grown a$$ man in trouble. No disrespect, PR. Remember “this too shall pass….”

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
4:47 pm

@PR ~ I can only imagine. I’ll never forget my biggest blunder ever. Every time I see this person I act like it never happened. Thank goodness I only see him about 3 or 4x a year.

Purple Rain

April 13th, 2011
4:47 pm

I’m not in trouble only pictures of my wife and me taking turns holding the camera where the worst ones, she knew it was an honest mistake. I just feel like an idiot.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
4:48 pm

PurpleR, did you wife really call you an idiot? Or was it someone else?

Other news: Liz just asked me “what you doing?” LOL

Willie Dynamite

April 13th, 2011
4:48 pm

Raqi – really, you are tying together dating generalizations between Men and Women with the generalization of Murderers you made about an entire Religion. How is that even on the same thought process.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
4:49 pm

I am cooking. LOL Really I am.

Willie Dynamite

April 13th, 2011
4:49 pm

Leggs – care to share that blunder?

Purple Rain

April 13th, 2011
4:52 pm

Nobody called me an idiot, I said I realized today that I am an idiot. I am calling myself an idiot. My wife laughed about it and said that we just need to get another memory card that stay out of the camera for our activities.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
4:52 pm

How is that even on the same thought process

WillieD, my point is we all generalize. Sometimes wrongly and sometimes right on point. Whether it’s dating, cooking or cultural noting we all do it. How is what you all do here every day any less wrong than the experienced that I have shared?

We point out the fact all the time that you have not dated ALL women so stop generalizing but that doesn’t seem to stop yall. How is it different?

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
4:53 pm

I shared it before (I think). I’ll share it tomorrow. It’s a doosey. I thought it was an April Fool’s joke since it happened on April Fool’s day. I shared my blunder with a few friends. It is what it is. Remind me tomorrow.

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
5:00 pm

In regard to the topic of communication that turned to why get married:

Marriage is not a reaction to a relationship, but rather the evolution of it.

PEACE!

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 13th, 2011
5:04 pm

“I’d like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals” — Jack Handy

Purple Rain

April 13th, 2011
5:05 pm

Swiss, so you want to see the fat lady sing?

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 13th, 2011
5:08 pm

Purple — Only if she’s nekkid.

Geechee

April 13th, 2011
5:37 pm

Swiss, For Real & Purple: You guys were really on fire this afternoon. Thanks