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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

How much communication do you need?

Comedian Chris Rock once said that women loved talking so much, that if talking were an Olympic sport men wouldn’t stand a chance.  Alright, so women enjoy talking…a lot.  What do men have against talking?  There doesn’t seem to be a loss of words when it comes to NBA playoff debates or fantasy football stats!

What some men seem to dread is the discussions about their relationships, though.  Honestly, I’m not a big fan of the long drawn out talks about relationship issues either.  I understand that communication is important to make a relationship work.  I just think some people take it too far and go overboard.  How much communication do you really need in a relationship, anyway?

A reader emailed me recently because she has a hard time getting her man to talk about their sex life.  She wants to find out what he likes, tell him what she likes, and really work on making things better.  Her man is not the “communicating type” i.e. he’d rather just figure it out in the bedroom without all the deconstructing and analyzing.

I know that a man who is not big on communicating is likely to change, but is there some way to compromise this kind of thing?

Men, does it bother you when you are pressed to share feelings, thoughts, etc. when you are dating someone?  If you are in a relationship, are you willing to meet your woman half way and do a little more communicating?

Ladies, do you find that talking to your man about the relationship is like pulling teeth?  Have you tried taking him to a sports bar and talking to him over a beer? <– Advice from Steve Harvey. True Story.

BY Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

279 comments Add your comment

Willie Dynamite

April 13th, 2011
3:02 pm

We went back & forth to/from both extremes a few times in very short order

Swiss – Sounds bout right, you better go ahead and stop by the drug store.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
3:02 pm

Raqi – I there with you on LOVING where 40+ takes you. No drama, finances not bad, kid about grown, heck I’m grown and can be grown and can do grown things without the worry I had a few years back. Just SUCH a nice view from this window.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
3:03 pm

What Celisea said about her guy when she got pregnant is a great example of communication.

Realizing with something is off or different shows that you are paying attention and in-tune with each other.

My hub most times know when it time for Aunt Flow just by knowing when it’s about that time. He will not know once it starts again but I bet it will not take him long to get back in step with it.

I know of two women that went months, I mean up until they started to show, and their S/O had no clue they were pregnant. I mean how do miss your wife and/or live-in not having a ● for 4 months?

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
3:04 pm

Swiss, she is probably just PMSing then. But I could very well be wrong.

For Real

April 13th, 2011
3:06 pm

Lil Celisea: Uncle For Real?

For Real: Yes baby girl.

Lil Celisea: You know what I want for my birthday?

For Real: (Reaching for his credit card)…

Lil Celisea: No, not this time Uncle For Real. I want a brother or sister.

For Real: Well, you know your mom has said she is not having anymore kids.

Lil Celisea: I know but I want really, really, really baddddddddd!

For Real: Okay baby girl, hand me that peach schnapps and you go to yo Aunt Gussie’s house and Unc gon see what he can do for you. CELISEA!!!! Zipppppppppppppppp!!! We need to talk about baby girl’s birthday gift!!!!

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
3:08 pm

kid about grown

Celisea, other than that ^ (LOL) I am feeling you. It’s just a whole new free world from when I was in my twenties and early thirties.

Not caring what other people think about me when it’s not warranted. Having my own style and way of thinking. Being wholely in-touch with my feminine and free of past inhibitions. I love it.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
3:09 pm

Raqi – Your 3:03 is spot on. Most men in tune with their women, just knows or have an inkling. There’s something sexy about knowing your spouse/mate/partner, what they like, what makes ‘em tick, when something is off, when you’ve hit the ball out of the park. Not saying guessing games but having communicated so much so that you know them and what makes them tick. Aaaaand because you know them and when something is not quite right you can zero in on.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 13th, 2011
3:10 pm

“Most men in tune with their women, just knows or have an inkling.”

C — Well, it’s hard to miss getting yelled at for no reason around the same time every month… :lol:

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
3:13 pm

Not caring what other people think about me when it’s not warranted. Having my own style and way of thinking. Being wholely in-touch with my feminine and free of past inhibitions. I love it.

Absolutely. I’m even more comfortable being “in touch” in front of company when I wouldn’t have years back. Just loving all of it. That took some stretching…I ain’t gon lie but I have arrived :) Definitely not caring what others think. Even though that’s not something I’ve too much stumbled over.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
3:14 pm

FOR REAL – You are a nut.

Swiss – Well I guess getting yelled at the 5th of every month would be a dead ringer huh?

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
3:16 pm

Celisea, exactly. And sexy.

How two people can sleep together, sex each other, live in the closest of quarters and be so disconnected I just don’t get.

You learn each other’s routine, highs and lows, ins and outs when you are connected and pay attention. And yep you can zero in on that off time.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
3:19 pm

LOL Swiss.

But you know despite popular belief not all women get b!tchy when she’s PMSing.

One of my sistahs get fatigued and would rather sleep than anything else during that time.

Another one has absolutely no noticeable signs other than her complaining about water weight.

For Real

April 13th, 2011
3:21 pm

“Well, it’s hard to miss getting yelled at for no reason around the same time every month” – Women call that communication. If your wife is preggo I agree with Raqi. She will either be overly loving and caring or everything will make her sad.

Swiss: Hey baby I just cleaned the bathroom, took out the garbage and started dinner.

Mrs. Swiss: Mitty Fitty if you blink one mo time I’m gonna put my foot so far up your azz you will be able to taste the uric acid that’s causing my gout!!!!!!!!

SexyCool

April 13th, 2011
3:22 pm

The Muslim dude killed his wife. That is all.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
3:23 pm

Say it ain’t so.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 13th, 2011
3:25 pm

“But you know despite popular belief not all women get b!tchy when she’s PMSing.”

Raqi — Oh yes, I know… Unfortunately, Mrs. Swiss is one of those who does… :lol:

4 Real — You been spying on me, dude? That’s about how it went down… :lol:

SexyCool

April 13th, 2011
3:25 pm

That’s the conclusion of the SexyCool Inch-High Private Eye Detective Agency…that specializes in going with her gut and drawing conclusions about criminal activity.

Leggs

April 13th, 2011
3:27 pm

@SexyC ~ when it comes to things like this, you and I tend to think along the same lines. His tearful plea was a bit off.

SexyCool

April 13th, 2011
3:28 pm

How many Muslim dudes do you know that go on hunting trips?

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
3:30 pm

Leggs – Have you talked to MMEELLOO? He’s not emailed me in a minute.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
3:32 pm

I don’t think the Muslim guy did it but I guess not paying attention it being said he went hunting means I have not been paying much attention to that news report. LOL

Now the guy that was shot outside of the daycare…I told the hub day one that the wife did it. When it came out that the suspect knows the wife that confirmed it.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 13th, 2011
3:32 pm

Leggs — Do you & The Zulu work at the same office?

For Real

April 13th, 2011
3:32 pm

He is not acting like fundamental muslin dude. When they kill they believe it to a righteous killing in the eyes of Allah.

Swiss: Next the Mrs. start acting crazy, tell her you are going to go fundamental on her azz. Then duck and run. You can stay at my crib for a couple of days but you can’t tell her where you are. I don’t need no crazy island lady putting the roots on me.

For Real

April 13th, 2011
3:34 pm

Leggs & The Zulu sounds like a cop show.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
3:35 pm

Have any of you been watching the Apprentice? I’m I the only one that was glad to see Dionne Warwick get fired? She was a cancer to A.S.A.P. And Gary Busey is a whack job.

Willie Dynamite

April 13th, 2011
3:35 pm

SC – I dont know just yet. Dude quite possibly was behind it. The pic that was released and the hunting trip (yeah right) mysteriously canceled sounds hella fishy. Only thing that has reasonable doubt is the timeline. If he did it he was very very very concise. The timeline his kids gave was pretty short. He wouldv’e had to kill and dispose of the body and evidence mighty quickly.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 13th, 2011
3:35 pm

“I don’t need no crazy island lady putting the roots on me.”

4 Real — Yeah, that voodoo is no joke… :lol:

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 13th, 2011
3:36 pm

“Leggs & The Zulu sounds like a cop show.”

Or a p0rno.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
3:36 pm

ForReal, that’s why I said if he did it he can just go back home where it’s acceptable. They don’t think much of woman anyway and getting rid of their woman is no big deal.

SexyCool

April 13th, 2011
3:37 pm

I’m thinking the kids have it wrong on the time. Time gets misjudged all the time. And to a kid, two hours can seem like ten minutes when they’re distracted.

Willie Dynamite

April 13th, 2011
3:39 pm

Raqi – That is a very stereotypical and offensive response.

SexyCool

April 13th, 2011
3:39 pm

Hey Rock!

TheDude and I have been watching. The ratings makers are the ones that have longevity. NeNe is an Amazon…or….all them other chicks are midgets…er, um…little people.

Gary Bussey is ratings platinum!

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
3:40 pm

I won’t say concretely he did it but something is amiss

cba

April 13th, 2011
3:40 pm

When I first heard about the story, I also had the husband guilty. This is getting alittle complicated.
Now we know about a text and she said she was throwing the phone out the window….hmmmm.
When they found her car, IT WAS LOCKED, nothing suspicious was found. So far, no indication she made it to Wal-mart. To be continued…….

PS I hope she just got fed up and went ghost

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
3:41 pm

cba – Now we know about a text and she said she was throwing the phone out the window….hmmmm.

Yeah, that piece tripped me out.

Willie Dynamite

April 13th, 2011
3:43 pm

SC – True about the time and kids. I’m sure the cops will scrutinize the phone records. Its easy to find out what area (based on Towers used) he/she was in during the times they did all that texting back and forth. You can best believe them saying he is not a suspect tho is BS.

For Real

April 13th, 2011
3:43 pm

Doorbell rings.

The Zulu: Who is it that calls upon The Zulu?

Leggs: It is I Leggs from cross yonder.

The Zulu: I have no idea what you just said.

Leggs: Make no mind. I just came to borrow a cup of hot sauce.

The Zulu: Again, I do not know of what you speak but I do know black people keeps hot sauce tho.

Leggs: Oh Zulu you so crazy. Oops my skirt seems to have fallen around my ankles and I forgot to put on some panties.

The Zulu: Bong Chica Bong Bong…. afterward, it’s cow nuts and goat cheese.

SexyCool

April 13th, 2011
3:44 pm

The way I see it…buddy needs to stop talking and lawyer up….which is probably some advice that he got that made him back out of the interview with ABC.

SexyCool

April 13th, 2011
3:45 pm

Exactly, WillieD. Them saying that is standard operations. He’s more likely to slip up if he’s lulled into thinking they’re not looking at him. But…buddy should know…his ass is THE prime suspect.

For Real

April 13th, 2011
3:46 pm

“I won’t say concretely he did it but something is amiss” – Fion, you gon have to take back Celisea’s detective badge.

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
3:46 pm

You just gotta love the blog. Even though the attendance get low on here, don’t you just love how folks “jump in” as the topic change…meaning folks are lurking all day :)

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
3:47 pm

WillieD, which statement are you speaking of?

Sassy Me...Exhaling :-)

April 13th, 2011
3:47 pm

which is probably some advice that he got that made him back out of the interview with ABC.

Where can I read this story?

Celisea

April 13th, 2011
3:47 pm

For Real – You better back off of me man. I just didn’t want to outright pin on him. Something amiss could me she was abducted, ran over, etc.

i'm swiss™ ("FREE ME.LO")

April 13th, 2011
3:48 pm

“You can best believe them saying he is not a suspect tho is BS.”

Willie D — It’s all semantics. He’s not a suspect. He’s the suspect. :lol:

For Real

April 13th, 2011
3:49 pm

Willie: Ole boy is using “If I Would Have Done It” as play-by-play. Next you will see him at a black club trying to clear his mind.

SexyCool

April 13th, 2011
3:50 pm

Sass…they mention it in the article on the ajc… http://www.ajc.com/news/sheriff-doesnt-think-bartow-906011.html

but I was watching GMA this morning when they were reporting on it.

The whole thing has that *Susan Smith* feel to me.

Raqi V

April 13th, 2011
3:50 pm

Hey SexyCool. My hub thinks NeNe is going to win. He actually likes her grownupness on the show as well as Marlee Matlin. Those are two he is hoping to go against each other in the finale. I hope it be NeNe and John Rich.

cba

April 13th, 2011
3:50 pm

Celisea, my self-imposed rule is, no posts before 2:00pm :-)

Willie Dynamite

April 13th, 2011
3:51 pm

Raqi – 3:36, thats a very broad sweeping accusation you leveled on milions and millions of Muslim Men. To equate them not thinking highly of women to being able to throw them out with the trash and killing being no big deal is a huge stretch.